Archive for the consequences Category

Abuse Is Alive And Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Mentor, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, exploiting your slave, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

MAsT:Kissimmee

 

May 19th

 

Meeting

A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. http://www.mast.net , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…

 

 

 

 

Vetting The Dominant And Submissive

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, Bad Submissive, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominant and Submissive, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

In our crazy and fast moving world the relationships can get kind of crazy at times, but knowing who we are getting crazy with is very important.

Early on I made Contact with Arianna’s ex Master I wanted his thoughts not only about Arianna but his thoughts on what went wrong of course everything was her fault.. As you know there are two sides to every story maybe three at times, but I could tell by the way he was acting he was not being truthful with me..

You have to know the one you are getting involved with be it a Dominant or Submissive.

A couple of months ago a submissive packed up her whole life and moved 1500 miles having only spent time chatting online and on the phone. She contacted no one to find out who or what he was. Come to find out there was a Dr Jekyll and a Mr Hyde and he put her out on the street. I did offer to speak with both together but he refused he just called her a stupid cunt and wanted her gone…

If you notice it is never the Dominant who moves, it is never the Dominant who uproots his life , packs everything up , leaves his job and moves across the country, it is always the Submissive or slave.

I was speaking with a Daddy Dom and he was expressing his frustration with the Vetting process within the community. He stated it was not fair being treated different than other Dominants in the community.

It is a process just as obtaining a new job you have a 90 day probation period,while it is  unfortunate at times it does take longer in the lifestyle your either going to adapt or make your exit. The bottom line he is not being treated any different than anyone else/

Then you have first impressions and th9is is with Doms and Subs. The first maybe the second or third even but in time the true colors come out. It is either good or it is bad. Once someone feels comfortable the true colors start to come out this is also true when entering a relationship.

If your meeting a Sadist you want to know he knows what he is doing. If you meet a slave you want to know everything about her or him to include friends, this goes for Dominants as well.

The lifestyle a D’s or M’s relationship more so if your new is Taboo , you want to learn and explore, but knowing who is going to tie you up is also important.

In our lifestyle compatibility is really important , knowing you have more in common than just bondage and fucking. If your relationship is based on sex it will not work.

The most important thing is both should be willing to give 100% and nothing less. This falls under the part time dominant and the part time submissive if either is not full time and the other is it will not work.

If you look at the definition BDSM is runs much deeper than just sucking cock or taking it up the ass. It means much more than just beating your ass , or degrading you.

Know who and what you are, know what you need out of your relationship.. Know what your new partner needs in a relationship, being on the same page is very important but at times many are not even in the same book..

You learn to ask the right questions and if you know what to ask many times you get a blank stare and the conversation takes a different turn.

I have always found it very important for someone to be active in the local community or at least willing to take part in your interest.  I myself need that interaction with like minded people , those who somewhat understand me.

Your going to make mistake Dominant and Submissive the key is you learn from your mistake. Your going to be used and used and used until you learn from your mistakes..

Get out in the community take your time and meet people, meet people who will understand you.  These will be your real friends , these will be people who understand you , these will be people who are there in a time of need..

Think smart.

 

 

 

 

 

Your Going To Be Used

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Choices, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance Through Intimidation, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Safe and Sane, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Sucking and fucking with tags , , , , , , , , on April 24, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Welcome to a whole new world , a world of  kink , bondage , Discipline , sex , things you like and things you do not like. Welcome to the world of giving up your control. Welcome to the world of taking orders , following rules , protocols and structure.

There are two types of Dominants and Domme’s , those who care about you and have your best interest in mind , and those who are just looking to use and abuse and could not give a fuck about your feelings or your emotions and well being.

The bad your a object, your a piece of meat you have three holes or two if male with no face and when you speak your voice is not heard. Once you become to needy or start to question your status you are tossed aside like trash.

To the users you are nothing more than a commodity on the stock market and as you grow older your value will drop , your cock will not work as it did and your tits will start to sag as with your ass. You will go from trading at a hundred dollars or more to penny stocks and your playing field will become much smaller, and there will come a time your game will end.

You can only use so much , you can only play on someones emotions so long before your called out.

These men and women see submission as a weakness and nothing more, You are stupid , you are ignorant you have zero brain cells. Once you have grown tired of sucking dick or emptying out your bank account  your tossed a side only to start your next search but you did not learn from your last excursion. You will take the same path of destruction and repeat the relationship again and again. You will continue to send your pics , shoot videos and self punishment, and you will repeat these actions over and over and over.

You will complain to your friends , you will blog about your sorrows, you will blog about how bad the Dom was, you will complain about how you were used , but not one time will you accept responsibility for your own actions.

You make a mistake you correct it , if you make the same mistake that is possible but if you continue then you are just as stupid and the one using you. It is no longer the user it is you and only you, your the only one to blame.

The fake Dominant shows up when no one else is available and if you think your the only one sitting on the couch waiting for a text , you need to change your light bulb.

When you do see him or her , you get the pleasure of sucking cock or being used for about an hour then they have to run and you repeat , you sit on your couch watching Jerry Springer , because you can somehow relate.

The good news is once you decide to get on the right path and find someone who truly cares about you, the one thing you will be proficient in is cock sucking.

I know

You will continue to lay on your back , suck dick and get abused until you come to terms that something is wrong. Those who see the fake Domme’s seldom get the pussy if every, it is more bout humiliation and your bank account.

Your not dating little Johnny anymore , someone you would sit in the car and make out for hours with, or go to a movie theater when he would finger you or cop a feel of your tits.

Your life is going to go through some pretty drastic changes and you need to be on your game when you open the door.

You are now going to give up most of your freedom and in some cases all of your freedom for sometime.

Your going to be told what to wear , how to speak and when to speak. How to dress , your hair, your nails everything about you will change and it will change to fit someones needs.

Your no longer going to be begged to suck dick your going to be told. Your no longer going to begged to give up some pussy it will be taken and you will agree.

You have moved from being viewed as a girl friend or partner to property, an object a toy meant to be used.

You have to be able to communicate your needs and your thoughts when entering a relationship. You have to be able to say NO before entering a relationship. If you are feeling intimidated through fear you are not in the right frame of mind to be making any type of lifestyle decisions.

If you do not agree with something be it a sexual act or a rule you need to speak up , because if you do not you may be in for a bad experience and one you could end up getting hurt.

Here is  the key though is you are going to give up all of the above, if you are going to agree to all of the above, if you are going to serve one, give up control of your life , you are entitled to get something in return. What you get in return I guess depends on what you want out of life. I guess it also depends on how long your willing to wait on the one or spending your time jumping from one relationship to another making the same mistakes..

So why do we see so many lifestyle relationships crash ? Just as I am guilty I have settled for less, I have giving into my needs just for that moment in time companionship. Putting my kink to the side well some of it. Entering a relationship knowing we were not compatibility , it works for a short time but in the end you crash.

Many of us including me have put sex ahead of everything else, knowing it was not going to work. If your relationship is based on sex alone it will crash and burn with both leaving very hateful , putting the blame on each other.

Most are not willing to wait for the one , because we are selfish we want it now , we want it yesterday. If you the Dominant or submissive operate like this you will have a very lonely life and in some cases abusive.

I get emails all the time of those wanting advice , i email back with my opinion and I never hear back, why? Because it was not what they wanted to hear. They did not want the truth, they wanted to hear everything was going to be alright.

Life is based on two actions and only two. Choices and Consequences

vile

 

 

My Spirituality And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Religion, Slave, Submission, Submissive, viledesires62@aol.com on April 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

While I may be very outspoken , loud at times , I do have a habit of speaking my mind, in private or public. I am far from politically correct and if I think your bull shitting me I will be the first to call you out.

One obsession I have is speaking with elders , I love their stories of life from the beginning to the present, very wise and most information can be put to very good use. Each story is different , their life is different, some have had a very easy life while others struggled growing up. Some had a good home while other faced abuse on a daily basis.

While in Korea an Elder I met named Kim I would sit for hours and just listen while he spoke in broken English. The stories were very intense. The came the subject of Buddhism which i found very interesting.

Being in the army I could fly most anywhere in the world for about 10.00 dollars and my next stop was Thailand, this was mid 1980 I had just turned 18 and my first taste of the lifestyle.

Although Buddhism is a religion I never looked at it that way , the way I understood it it was a way of life. While at times when I first meet someone I am quick to judge , I try to set aside those feelings and give them a chance but most of the time my gut feeling was right.

I seldom give second chances but there are exceptions at times I am not sure why such as a friend I use to have Daddy M not one but two chances and he proved to be a pig.

I will help others if I see they are doing something to help themselves , if not I decline or I do not even bring it up.

most expect others to just jump in and fix what they have fucked up, remember 90% of our problems are self inflicting , this happens by using bad judgement , and not thinking about the choices and consequences. Trying to cheat the system , trying to get over on someone , be it a friend or even at times family.  I believe today family will fuck you faster and more often than someone you call a friend.

I have said this before I am not against religion I am against organized religion. Organized religion is evil, it is money driven, the poor feed the rich.

Live as you would want to be treated by others and give the same respect.

Today i am not a full practicing Buddhist but I walk with much of the beliefs, I do find time from time to time to meditate. I live a good life and I treat others with respect and I expect the same in return. The only down fall is some take my kindness as a weakness and those who walk into me blind are in a pasture they have never walked.

I can care and have great love for you but that switch can be turned off in a split second and never turned back on, this includes family.

I have nor do I allow drama into our life, I stop it before it becomes poison . The same way I handle problems , I handle before they become a problem.

To have a  successful and growing relationship both have to be honest and upfront , both have to be truthful and able to communicate their needs.

Compatibility is the most important thing when trying to build a relationship. It is okay to give and take on somethings , but if you give on needs it will never work..

The almighty married Dominant who is cheating on his wife. This is no Dom in any way shape or form. His wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, and not into pain. This is a kink to them and nothing more. They prey on those who are submissive because they believe you are weak and simple minded. They believe you just want to be used and punished.

Your a piece of ass, only able to experience submission when the Dominant can get away from his wife. He comes to your place or you get a room. You suck dick , get your ass beat and your dropped off. Ill text you later..

I get emails all the time and comments as well one just the other day about seeing a married Dom that turned into a disaster , she was able to see she was just being used.

A close friend of mine was seeing a married Dom, why ? I do not have a clue. He could only go out when he had something to do, other than that he was stuck home with wifey.

So he moved and the relationship ended or so she thought, when he sent her a text she politely turned him down and all of a sudden he had found someone younger and told her to go fuck herself.

A few months later another text. Want to Fuck ? She did not reply and the text continued, so I decided to send him an email on fetlife. He would not answer me , but continued to text her and tell her how weak she was followed by the names again. I sent him a total of 8 emails , shrugs. I even invited him to a local function , but that went unanswered …..

I would think as a submissive or slave while in a relationship you would want the whole pie and not just a slice. I would think you would want to be treated with respect. I would think you would want to be cared for. I would think you would want to be more than a piece of ass. I would think you would want to experience the training process, the experience of earning your collar.  Maybe I am wrong ?

My way is not the only way , but i do have a proven formula that I have put together and used and in my relationship it works, and it works well. I trained to fit my needs , I trained to help arianna , I trained so that she could achieve goals, and Ive supported her. Being supportive plays a huge role , just as communication.

As always i got off track a little, but if you follow you know this already. I love sharing my life , I love sharing my growth when it comes to the lifestyle…

Much love

Vile

 

BDSM And Discipline

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, consequences, Consistency, controlling, Discipline, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Ego, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, training your slave, Training your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….

My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a  physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.

Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?

Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened.  taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.

If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.

I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.

A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.

Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.

I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.

The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.

I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.

Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.

Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.

Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.

Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.

As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.

Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..

Mastering The Master

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, emotional, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Mental BDSM, positive reinforcement, relationships, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Training Arianna, training your slave, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 29, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am not perfect, although many would disagree with that statement. Most who know me think I am loud , very out spoken and at times obnoxious.

On the way to a local coffee group which all the people whoa attend are awesome , a good get together at a local star bucks then at times dinner after. I work from home as most know and come my Friday I need to get out I need that interaction with like minded people.

On our way the group leader was warning new comers of my arrival. I am warning you ahead of time Vile is unfiltered. Unfiltered I never looked at it that way , I simply say what is on my mind be it serious or joking…

Some months ago I received and email from a woman who said my blog was the most disgusting place she had ever visited and i should be shut down. So sitting back I am thinking if you find it that bad, why did you spend time reading it and then making time out of your busy life to email me?

Out in the world I like to have fun , I like to joke around , I enjoy making others laugh, but mostly I love learning how others live our wild lifestyle. I listen , I observe and I take in just like a hard drive on a computer.

I have come a long way in the past twenty five years or so and I am making plans for the next twenty five. I have grown on so many levels , I have set goals , I have made most of my goals and I continue to march forward.

My MAsT Chapter has been approved, Masters And Slaves Together. It was not an easy task and it was about a 13 month process.

Over the years I made mistakes, some were a mistake and at times things I did was because I could, I am me , I will stay me and I will walk my own path , but most of all I will not live a life where I have to be politically correct , my life is on my time and my time only.

I am positive , very optimistic , even if I have negative thoughts I keep them to myself. Everything I do has a plan and I seldom make a mistake but if I do I admit it, after all I can be wrong.

I am in control, I am control of my everyday life, my home and in most cases my job. I run my house , I am in full control, but with all of these choices comes consequences.

Mastering the Master is a long path and it is not an easy road to walk. You have to define who and what you are, you have to define where you are and where you want to be, you have to define the type of relationship you want, but most of all you have to define the type of partner you need in your life, not want but need, a want is nothing a want has no meaning and at times a want can be destructive and childish. I concentrate on my needs if my needs are met there are no wants.

When I first met Arianna I made a promise and a commitment , I told her I will never raise my voice towards her or call her names out of anger and some 3 years later this still holds true. Being in control was a strong need to me , being able to not only listen but being able to communicate in a clear and understanding voice. Saying what I mean and mean what I say , not only saying what I will do but do the things I said I would.

Some say it is healthy to argue and while I may agree a little it depends on how you agree to argue. Bruises heal words cut deeper bruises hurt but words effect someone on a very deep mental state and while one can forgive one will never forget The more you hurt with your words the more you are in danger of losing what you have.

If you are fighting with yours Slave or submissive if you had any type of training then you as a Master needs to sit back and maybe come up with a different approach.

MASTER / SLAVE

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.[1]:27-30

The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

No where in the above definition does it mention a Master Arguing with their Slave. No where in the statement above does it mention a Master Losing control.

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship.

If you the Master argues with your Slave not submissive but your Slave who is the bitch in the relationship ?

When entering a M/s relationship , a power exchange relationship or a Total power exchange you the Master are taking on a huge responsibility. You need to have a clear plan and a training program in place and a training program that puts you in the lead but more important one who will follow and have the need to follow.

Training someone takes a great deal of thought , every submissive or Slave has a different thought process, different habits and react in different ways . Some are emotional , some may suffer from some type of depression , some may suffer from anxiety the list goes on and on, so what worked in your last relationship surely will not work in your next , that includes training and rules..

I think a lot of the misunderstanding comes from someone who is new to the lifestyle and just jumps in head first and not really having a clue… Waking up one morning and your a Master because of a blog or a porn site you ran across. We as humans are visual and you google BDSM and click images and there is your definition.

Mastering the Master , Mastering communication , Mastering honesty , Mastering commitment, Mastering your devotion , Mastering your understanding of ones needs , Mastering your loyalty , Mastering your consistency , your training but most of all your continued growth.

Each and everyday I work on most of those , not only daily but hourly . I work to maintain what I and we have. I want us as Master and Slave to continue to grow.

The out come is you end up with a best friend , partner , and Slave.

 

Vile

 

We Are Master And Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, consequences, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on February 21, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Last Friday we attended a local MAsT meeting and I can say it was one of the best meetings I have been to…

The topic was one I would of never thought of , The Seven Deadly Sins , how interesting does this sound when you attached BDSM to the topic.

Last year I was speaking with a very good friend of mine and the topic of Arianna came up and he said it was like I hit the power ball . He continued saying the relationship we had was very unusual even for a Master and Slave. As I was trying to take in his words I did not fully understand mainly because I am just me.

I very seldom speak about what I have done , nor am I one to brag. Many who know me think I am conceded but that is so far from the truth, the bottom line is I am just confident, and I am confident be it in private or public..

While at MAsT a Mistress made a comment that in any relationship there must be some sort of a exchange of power. As I listened I was trying to understand and I spoke up and said I disagreed , continuing I began to explain in my home I had complete control and the final say.

The Mistress then asked Arianna if she worked out of the home, of course the answer was yes, a 40 hour a week job she has been at for some 16 years. She was then asked if I controlled what she did at work and made her decisions , I saw this getting way off topic, but Arianna replied while she did make decisions at work I knew her every move, Arianna stated if she was told to quit her job she would do so , but it would fall on me, the responsibility and the consequences.

What makes a Master and Slave relationship ? The answer is there is no real clear definition , Each M’s relationship is unique in its own way, it is the way each relationship is defined between two.

The same with those who live a D’s relationship , it is the two who defines their relationship. No one has the right to tell someone they are wrong, no one has the right to tell someone they do not know what they are doing.

Many do not understand our relationship, and while some may be curious once I try and explain some find it to be unbelievable.

Some 3.5 years now I can say Arianna and I have yet to have an argument, and that is something I am proud of , that is something I have or we have both worked hard for. The base of this is from our communication.

When her and I first met we noticed the compatibility right away, we noticed how easy it was to talk to each other and not at each other.

I put strict protocols in place more protocols than rules. Protocol creates stability, consistency and forms good habits , Protocols keeps everything in check, and by staying consistent it keeps everything smooth…

At times a Master needs to humble , a Master needs to accept responsibility when something goes wrong. A Master must admit when he is wrong, as much as I would like to say I am perfect I am not, although at times I may feel I am, but I truly believe that is just confidence.

Expressing my needs prior to entering our relationship , I went into great detail when it came to my needs being met and I was not willing to give in or change anything.

On the other side I had to agree to Arianna’s needs in the type of M’s relationship she was seeking. If I did not agreed with her needs then it would not of been fair if she settled for anything less.

 

Going into a Lifestyle relationship you have to have a clear picture and understanding of what your getting into. If you look over the bad then you have to deal with the consequences, after all you made the choice…

A mistress was questioning Arianna or stating that there had to be a time in our relationship where she had some control, as the conversation continued it was a D’s relationship she was speaking about and not an M’s.

Arianna made the comment , My master has complete control but with control comes consequences. That is a very true statement that is why when I make a major decision I am thinking of two and not one, however there are times we sit down and I want her opinion and there are times when I do take her advice and roll with it.

Instead of criticizing someones relationship  maybe we should take a little to understand their dynamics. Maybe if we took the time to learn our community would not be so divided.

Vile