Archive for the control Category

I Am Going To Use You

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, commitment, Consistency, control, Master and slave relationship, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I want to be your friend , I want to be your best friend , I want to know everything about you  starting with your earliest memories. I want to know the foods you like, movies , music, hobbies.

I want to be by your side , I want to be the shoulder  you lean on , I want to be the one you know you can depend on. I want to hold you so I can feel your inner soul , your thoughts and your needs. I want inside your mind including the good and bad . I want to know your thoughts at all times, but most of all I want you to know you can come to me and speak openly. I want you to feel as if you can speak to me without fear , this is a need I have.

I am going to use you , you are for my pleasure , you are for my use. I do not want to make love I want to fuck , I do not want my dick sucked I want to fuck your mouth. You have three holes for my use and will use when I have the need.

I will tie you up, gag you and at times even leave my mark. You have moved from being my best friend to my slave and property.

I am going to train you to fit my needs, I am going to change your train of thought , I am going to implement rules which you will follow, I will put protocols in place in which you will follow. I will allow open communication that is a need for me.

I am not trying to change you, I am going by what you told me from the beginning , you expressed your needs , you told me you wanted and had a need to be owned.

I am going to train you , train you how to act while out in public , remember you are a direct reflection of me your Master. When out alone you are a direct reflection of me , our world is small but you never know who you may run into, so it is best to be on your best behaviour.

I will put rules and protocols in place and you will follow, I will punish when needed but I will not punish you for no reason.

I will make you mine, I will make you feel owned, I will make you want to feel owned, I will make you crave submission. I will make you.

Now you ask what do I get out of the relationship ?

You get my undivided attention , I am here for you 24/7. I give you open communication, I give you loyalty , I give you the security you need, the guidance you need. I will alway put you first in my life no matter where I am or what I am doing . Yes you get me and all of me.

I will walk proudly with you , I will be honored to have you at my side. I will talk to you not at you.

I want you to have friends , I will encourage you

I will make sure your needs are met, I will not push you to the point of breaking you, but most of all I will respect you.

Vile

 

 

BDSM Relationships Move So Fast

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, cock sucking, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominant, Humiliation, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, Passwords, Slave, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Solitude, Verbal abuse, viledesires62@aol.com on March 6, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your traditional dating is pretty simple, you meet , talk go out spend time with each other. You go out to eat the movies , parks, kissing making out a little foreplay. You know this things tend to move slowly , both of you are on your best behavior trying to convince each other your the perfect fit.. If it works out it does if it does not oh well.

Then we cross the tracks , the other side of the world a new world unknown to most, something with a dark side , but in a way it is exciting.

Your train of thought changes as a female , you have not yet figured out where you fit in, all you know is what you have read really gets you going.

Now all train of thought is no longer rational , your not thinking clear, your brain is moving at Mach one and as of this moment what you have read , what you have chatted about in chat rooms, and maybe some small talk with women at work or maybe your to ashamed to bring it up.

Your Hormones have just kicked into high gear, all of a sudden you need BDSM in your life this is what you have been missing in your life…

You meet a Dom or Master in a chat room , maybe a Daddy Dom. You now let a complete stranger dictate who and what you are and the way words are put you may not fully understand but you go along with what your being told. He gives little hints using key words you pick up on.

Unlike the traditional dating 20 minutes into the chat , your asked what your limits are ? Limits what the fuck is that? Ahhhh your not sure so he begins to explain feeding you more. The next question is are you Bi ? That is always the first question, the second is do you swallow, do you take it up the ass? Do you enjoy pain? Do you enjoy humiliation ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? What are the shortest shorts you own? Do you go out in public without a Bra? How often do you Masturbate ?

If your not lock then comes the webcam , or kik then talking on the phone leading up to phone sex.

Here is what really gets me is the self punishment , making you punish yourself, spanking your pussy , putting clothes pins on your nipple and clit. Then the name calling starts and you go along with it because you do not know any better. The isolation kicks in keeping you away from friends and family. Your passwords and in most cases your banking information. I have seen a few get completely wiped out, and left with nothing.

If your local and you meet you are to wear a skirt or dress with no panties which I have never figured out. Once you meet about twenty minutes into the conversation he wants to start your training, you either get a room or if your dumb enough you take a complete stranger back to your home.

Then the cock sucking training begins , he blows his load down your throat pats you on your head and tells you to wait on his text..

All of the above happens in a matter of days not weeks or months, days and at times a day.

You are experiencing mass confusion your mind is stuck in neutral and you feel you have no where to turn. On the other hand you are taking the word of one person, then one who claims he can lead you down the right path, the one word you hear is Trust, trust me.

Your going to make mistakes , your going to make more than one , more than two or three and you will continue until you get your head straight.

Everything becomes a chore nothing is now fun, you dread seeing your Dom but at that moment and time he is the only one in your life.

All of the above has to do with your Hormones , and nothing more until your able to take a grasp on things.

The process is not as bad as you think it is, thinking through things is the difficult part..

Vile

 

 

 

Predators Are Alive And Well

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, control, Dominant and Submissive, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, relationships, Slave, Submission, submissive on February 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Predators come in many faces , Predators are all around us , Predators are people we know and don’t know and from time to time we get a little surprise.

I never mention any names unless I do not like you and to tell you the truth there are very few who I call my friend.

While we should not judge anyone for their actions mainly when it comes to the lifestyle , because as we know each relationship is different.

Predators come in all sizes , shapes colors , male and female. The female I call the black widow, the leech , the succubus. These women seek out men who they think are weak. While it may be true some men may not be week , but maybe experiencing a vulnerable moment in life. These women will drain a Texas oil well  and walk away like nothing happened, and move on to the next victim….. These women very seldom give up the pussy and only do so if they feel they are losing control.

At a younger age I was played a few times until I figured out the game, then I was like wow here we go, lets get ready to rumble…. Interesting mind fucking the mind fucker.

The male predator they see submission as a weakness , they prey on those who are having problems in their life, those who are a emotional mind wreck. These guys pretend to give a fuck while undressing you with their eyes, or wondering how well you suck cock or if you take it up the ass. These guys want the slut but not the responsibility.

In these situations you find yourself doing things you would not normally do. Perform on webcam , or send nude pictures daily, phone sex, wearing slutty clothes in public. You feel awkward but you go along with it because you believe this is the way.

So the predators are not just men there are some wicked women lurking , looking for their next dollar.

I get emails all the time from women who are caught up with these so called married Doms who are cheating on their wives. Well this is no Dom because he cannot even run his own house. What he is looking for is a cock sucker or someone who will take it up the ass. These men see those who are submissive as being weak and worthless, and you spend more time waiting on an email or a text than you actually spend with him, and when you do get a little time your sucking dick.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting after that your a secret and nothing more. You hear promises that things will get better and how he plans on leaving his wife. I would hope you would not believe that story…

Your training consist of sucking cock being on your back , being humiliated on a regular basis, and taking pain you really have no interest in.

Then the guy who spends his life thinking with his dick. Arianna laughs when she is on Fetlife and sees a Dom and his Avatar is his cock because she knows this is the way he is, his dick runs his life.

On Fetlife if you look to the left at the interest this will tell you a lot about the individual. You can take a peak into his mind and see exactly what he is looking for in a relationship.

These are the guys who also play a game , on the hunt for pussy and head and nothing more. I know a Dom near me who goes through several women a month, playing on their submission.

The abuse often it can start and the submissive is clueless and does not see it until it is to late.

While at a function a couple drove a couple of hours to meet Arianna and I. We were excited to see her and her new Dom, but as we were talking he was saying how he was not going to allow her to go to munchs , or submissive round table’s  as he does not attend local meetings mainly because he is not welcome. This is where the isolation starts , but shortly after leaving she sent Arianna a text saying she was not going to stay with the Dom.

The isolation begins to keep you from other people in the lifestyle , this is so your Dom is the only one you are getting information from. You give all of your passwords to him as well so he can monitor your every move.

Then comes the name calling telling you how stupid you are, how worthless you are and you were nothing before you met him….

This is to humiliate you but it is meant to eat away at your self esteem , to make you feel lower, and take away any self confidence you may of had. This moves you into a position where you feel all alone, now your at his beck and call , most of the time waiting hours days or even weeks before hearing from him.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting , unless your dumb enough to just show up at his place or a motel not knowing anything about him.

When you do see him you spend about 5 minutes talking and the rest of the time sucking dick.

If your not able to think straight or rational you have no business looking for a relationship in the lifestyle.

At times I get emails asking for advice and when it is not what they want to hear I never hear back from them , go figure.

The mistakes you make are decisions you make , and you know from the start what your thinking… You also know from the start if things are not right…

It is not easy trying to weed through the fakes but you can tell if someone is truly interested in you. You can tell if someone wants to get to know you as a person.

 

 

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

Sex and Submission

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Bondage Cuffs, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, sex, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world of BDSM is much different that=n the vanilla world, the little flirts , the long love making sessions , the caressing the I love you’s. The comes the no I am not doing anal , no I am not sucking your dick, or I do not swallow.

If you as a submissive look back on your vanilla dating and look at now there is a clear different.

In the vanilla world if you acted kinky you were a slut , so as we grew older we tended to hide our kink, until it was no longer controllable..

It takes time to get adjusted in the lifestyle we make many mistakes and mistakes we wish we had never made , but as long as you learn and you keep moving forward there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

Although most when thinking about submission the word sex comes up, most think sex is the biggest part of the lifestyle and to many it is , but it really runs much deeper.

Submission being able to get into the mind and just walk around and check things out, being able to do silly mind fucks. Being able to understand the way your submissive or slave thinks, why they think the way they do, what makes them think?

Being in control , most who say they have limits when it comes to giving up control in a stable relationship the limits will slowly fade.

Sir Franco Bolli @ http://sirfrancobolli.org/  Made the following comment

..It is my personal experience that it is not so easy to find a partner who is compatible. Having found an almost perfect match is a true blessing.

The above statement is very true , this is why it is important you do not jump into the first frying pan. Being compatible means everything including outside of the bedroom on your back or on your knees.

If your going into a D’s or M’s relationship and your soul purpose is to be a used fuck toy then you need to have that understanding and both have to be on the same page.

Most of the time when you enter a new relationship everything for the first week or month is good, but then something happens you become more clingy , more needy you want to give up more control but your dom is not on board? This is when you communicate your needs. If you fear speaking what is on your mind then your in the wrong relationship, or if you do and your Dom is not on board then again your in the wrong relationship.

BDSM has really change so much over the past 10  years , today it is more of a kink than a lifestyle , most are only bedroom and that is fine if it works for you.

I do not have a switch I can turn on and off, at times it would be nice but as of right now I am in a good place , life is good.

BDSM today is more of a sexual based than anything , for the most it is just about sucking cock and fucking and very little to do with the D’s or M’s side of things.

I like the control , I need the control and not just in the bedroom. I need a very structured home , I need protocols in place as well as some rules. The truth is if you have the first two in place very few rules are needed. once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance and communication.

I love sex but sex is on my terms, I love the kink but on my terms, I love bondage and at times extreme bondage again on my terms. I have the final say in our home , be it from dinner going out or even when and where money is spent.

That is why when meeting someone new it is very important to be on the same page. Before entering any type of relationship both needs to know what is expected of each other and where both want to be and what part each will take on.

The submission is earned it cannot be demanded , it is earned by earning respect , and being who and what you say you are.

Control is in the mind , submission is in the mind , although being physical is good , it does not take being physical to earn ones submission. You cannot earn ones submission through intimidation those types of relationships are short lived.

Being compatible when it comes to sex is very important , sticking to your limits is very important , finding someone who respects your limits is a must.

As in any D’s or M’s relationship a great deal of time has to be invested, time invested from both not just one.

If you the slave or submissive are going to lay on your back or get on your knees then you should get something out of the relationship. It should be more than just fucking or sucking , or the Dom trying to find out how much pain you can take.

What do you want to do with your one life.

This set was custom made for Arianna by my good friend Jon. We received them yesterday and I have never seen such quality….

Beltcuffs

 

Vile

 

 

 

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, communication, control, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fake Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, viledesires62@aol.com on November 8, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sometimes I come across something that catches my eye, and what I am going to share turned up on my friends list on Fetlife.  I found the Writing of Master James to be right on.

While my way is not the only way I have touched on many things that most disagree with, when I use the word protocols people laugh, when I use the word consistency most laughed, when I use the word rules most laugh , and that is all good until the relationship fails.

You wake up one morning and now your Christian Fucking Grey like him not having a clue and your super Dom, or King Master you want the title you want to be adored and worshiped but you do not want the responsibility , not really caring what effects your having on someones feelings or emotions, or the lasting effects.

The part time Dom has a on and off switch , but I can promise you the Submissive does not have such a switch. So while you the Dominant are making your demands after a long absents your submissive is faking it just to please you which does not equal submission.

I have also talked about rules having a few in place, you can cause a overload if you pile on the almighty 128 Rules most follow when they have no clue.

I have also talked about how being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig , it is a 24/7 365 gig.  You the part time submissive sitting at home at night watching TV or reading a book while picking up your phone to see if you have received a email or a text , and this can go on for days, weeks and even a month or so.

So looking over my friends feed on Fetlife this title caught my eye and I clicked and started reading. I emailed Master James to see if I could re-post here on my blog and he was more than happy to let me share….

Part-time Doms don’t get Full-time submission.

Other controversies aside, what first garnered my modicum of notoriety on this site, was not my social commentary, my love of suits, my satirical humor, my rope, my photos, or my ideological battles with socialist reform zealots……

No, it was D/s. The fact that I audaciously identified as a Master, maintained multiple 24/7 D/s relationships, led a House, and focused my energy on boring stuff like protocol, rather than the fun stuff that looks great in photos and videos.

To this very day, this remains the staple diet of my inbox. Messages flow in, asking a mundane 34 year old stranger from the other side of the planet how to fix the problems in their D/s relationship.

Well, over the years, one issue continues to be a prevalently central element to the problems people face. And after a raft of recent messages from Doms where this issue became apparent. I decided it was time to address it specifically:

It’s the issue of perception. The perception of what a 24/7 D/s relationship is and what it takes. Or alternately, the issue of misconceptions as to what a 24/7 D/s relationship takes.

The majority of messages I get from Doms, start by highlighting issues in their dynamic. And then asking me for tips on training to fix it, and/or protocols to strengthen it. Whist completely missing the root of the problem.

So here’s my Uber-Dom pro tip……..
The secret to the root of 98% of problems in your D/s dynamic, that are caused by you, and stand in the way of you a achieving a functional 24/7 dynamic…..Are you ready for this?

Consistency!

That’s right folks. Consistency and the dedication required to sustain it.

You can research, read blogs, order books off Amazon, go to countless workshops, and write up the most intricate rules, protocols, and punishments. But all the best ‘how-to’ guides and training programs in the world won’t work, if you don’t have the commitment, the dedication, and most of all; the consistency to see them through.

And this is where 99% of D/s relationships fall apart.

Being on the D side of the slash in a 24/7 power exchange dynamic isn’t a part time job, a hobby, a passing interest, or a play thing…. It’s full time. And I don’t mean full-time in the sense of a full-time job. Those in which you do your 8 hours and you knock off and go home.
When we say 24/7, we actually mean 24/7. It isn’t just a catchy title. There are no knock-off times, overtime pay, weekends, sick days, public holidays, or annual leave.

You can’t expect to be a Dom when it’s convenient for you, and expect her to be a Sub when it’s convenient for you., and call it 24/7…. You will inevitable have different ideas of what and when constitutes convenient. You can’t expect to be able to only enforce your rules occasionally, but expect them to be followed all the time. Humans just don’t work that way bro.

You’re setting you both up for failure. But only one of you ends up getting the cane. And you get surprised that she resents you rather than thanks you???

The first step, is figuring out if you want to do this as described. Because any less and you’re not setting yourself up for success.

The second step, is only implementing rules or protocols you yourself are both willing and able to enforce ‘consistently’. When you pick these rules, make sure they are functional. And remember this golden rule: “Never set a rule, or give an order, that you aren’t 100% sure will be obeyed!” Otherwise, once again, you are not setting yourselves up for success.

With this in mind, it behoves you to start off keeping rules simple and minimal.

The third step, is to be her Dom. And you need to be that guy every minute of every day. When you go to sleep at night, when you wake up in the morning. When work is stressing you out and you just couldn’t be bothered. Even when she’s on shark week and she can’t stand you.

My final advice is, that if this isn’t for you. Then that’s cool. Enjoy having a part-time, fun, play based, D/s dynamic. They are great, and they are super fun. They have clearly defined start and stop times to signal when the game is in play. And they have the relevant rules that only apply whilst all parties are on the field of play.

These types of D/s dynamics are great for busy people in casual and short term relationships. They can also be positive, functional, and sustainable and can provide a strengthening element of escape, release, and connection in wonderful long term relationships.

But make your choice and stick to it. Nothing destroys an otherwise good relationship quite the way a half assed attempt at 24/7 power exchange does.

Because anyone looking to have someone approach life as full-time submissive. While they themselves are only going to rock up as a Dom on a part time-basis; can’t be surprised when the sub quits (or in my case ‘unionise’ and seek collective bargaining power).

If you want a full-time sub, then start by being a full-time Dom.

https://fetlife.com/users/1751801/posts/2818790

Thank you Master James for allowing me to share

The Master’s Creed


Author Unknown

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel I am more intelligent, or wiser. I am not dominant because of the strength or mass of my body. I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women. Yet to you, I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor.

You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt. Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts.

We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We compliment each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your words with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you.

What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural and the rarest gift a woman could give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift. I recognize it is your body and soul, your heart and mind. I dominate you only because you have allowed it. I dominate only because you have allowed me to and when I see your body kneel before me, in my mind and heart you are raised above all other woman, and all the treasures of the earth. What you give freely can not in reality be bought.

Image

Vile

To All The Vanilla People

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, commitment, communication, compatibility, control, Dominants, slave, Submission, submissive, Vanilla, Vanilla Relationships with tags , , , , , , on October 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets forget about BDSM for a minute and talk about some core issues. I want to touch on Values and respect for a short time here.

I am not better than anyone else , as a matter of fact I know there are others who are more knowledgeable than I am when it comes to the lifestyle. I also know we are all different we all have different needs as well.

There are two reasons a relationship fails, one is communication and the other is infidelity. If you have a break down in communication the second is sure to take place, looking for something better that is really not there. The grass is never greener on the other side. If you make it to a marriage counselor the odds are your already at the end of your rope.

I find it to be sickening for someone to open up the private part of one life to complete stranger. The advice you are getting is just someones opinion, and don’t forget to write the check.  Pawning your problems off on someone else in hopes they can fix the mess both of you have generated. I get it though it is much easier to pay someone 200 dollars an hour to fix your problems, because one or the other is out fucking the world. One is breaking the family apart, one is breaking what two worked so hard to build.

There are circumstances where two get married knowing it was the wrong move , there are those mistakes, I know Ive done it. I was trying to fix something I thought was wrong and in the end it was a disaster. Nine years of agony it was the most fucked up move I had ever made and 17 years later I am still paying every week. What I can say is no matter how fucked up things got I remained loyal, because I took the vows very serious, I made the mistake so I had to eat dirt.

I promise to love, cherish and obey” and “To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part.  What do these words mean to you, did you really mean it when you both stepped up to the plate, some spent thousands for a day of happiness a few minutes in the lime light, that one last moment of glory.

It is however much easier to just throw the towel in and say fuck it I am done , I give up go fuck yourself , I hope you have a better life without me.

Today we have the internet , we have the mobile dating apps, and Ashley Madison if you dare. It is so easy to find that piece of ass today, you think it is so easy to fix your problems by stepping out. The truth is your only thinking about yourself , your thinking of the choices but not the consequences..

The blame is just not on men the blame is on women as well. Most of the time you both end up fucking or sucking cock in a car then you go home and cook your kids supper or maybe go to a PTA meeting, a family outing.  The problem is you always get caught does not matter how sneaky you are you always get caught.

Okay well lets talk about it, I do not want to talk about it , this means it has been over, many times one will wait for the other to make the move so they do not have to take the blame.

It all boils down to a couple of things, Truth, honesty, communication , and last Morals. If you lack one or any of these please pick up your phone and call your parents and thank them for fucking up your life, they deserve a pat on the back.

Where am I going with this ? What is the point I am trying to get across ? My blog is BDSM based , I will have to admit I have calmed in my older years , but as far as me in general I have not changed when it comes to my way of thinking.

I shared before I came from a very broken home and when I left at the age of 17 I knew who I was not going to be, I had to set my own example , I had to define who and what I was.

You have to communicate, you have to set time aside to just talk, you have to learn to talk to each other and not at each other. You have to learn how to express yourself , your feelings and your needs.

If your going to argue you need to learn how to argue, and this can be down through self training. First if your angry you think before you speak, you think about how what your going to say would sound, many times you can reword things. Thinking and pausing before can save a lot of grief. Being honest with yourself and your partner. There is a need to spend a whole day with each other on your days off. You have to set time aside if you have kids.

The problem with arguing is most do not argue it is an all our war of words unless it gets physical , words are thrown at each other and the hurt takes place.

Just following a few simple steps can repair a relationship if both are willing to work through it , but if one is not game just leave pack your shit and get out. Why would you want to put yourself through such a mess?

Most say well it is for our children , they need both parents, while this may be true, it is not fair to drag them through your mess and hear your screaming and calling each other names, this does more damage than if one just left.

My one question is why would you want to put yourself through so much bullshit ? Why Torment yourself causing all that stress ? Why drag yourself and kids if you have them through all of your drama?

The truth is , it is much easier to just throw in the fucking towel and say fuck it. It is much easier to just walk away and just drop what ever you broke in the first place.

Sometime ago I was seeing a few older married women, there was no sex including Oral, it was Bondage and humiliation. These were women with degrees and had been married for more than twenty years.  These were also women who had not been able to communicate with the Husbands, and when they did they were ridiculed , told they were sick, one even divorced his wife because of her sick urges. The male wants his needs met, dinner, clothes, bills, shopping , sex on their terms. I cannot imagine living 20 years or longer so unhappy…

So the question is were you ever really in love? The most important question is, What Do You Want To Do With Your One Life ?

 

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