Archive for the Couples New To BDSM Category

Married And Interested In BDSM

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Couples New To BDSM, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on August 21, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Stepping into the lifestyle and being a vanilla couple can be challenging but it can be obtained. I am not speaking of the Dom/sub bedroom only I am speaking of making a huge step into a total different world. The longer you are married the more difficult it will prove to be. The main reason is you already know each other inside and out. You will both need to do hours , days and months of research. Try your best to keep from speaking to others until you both think you have found your place. If you start trying to listening to others it can become confusing because everybody is different , and what works for one couple will not work for another.

Who will take on the Dominant role? Who will take on the Submissive role? Either way both have to decide just how much control one wants to give up and the other how much control one wants to take on.  Are you both looking at Dominant /Submissive , Master and Slave , Daddy/Baby girl who fits where and why?

This is when the time comes to sit down and just start talking crazy, all of those kinky thoughts you have had but you’ve been afraid to say anything in fear of what your partners thoughts might be. The best way is to write everything down a list 1 to 10 starting with the ones you are most interested in. As you bring each subject up talk about it and why you like it or may like it. This is when your fantasy’s come out but you have always been afraid to bring those up.

In my years I have found men are the ones who are most resistant to any kinky ideas and most do not want added responsibility. This is due to the wife cooking , cleaning house , laundry , grocery shopping , paying all the bills , and if you have kids taking care of them.

Some years ago I would only see married women , and there was no sex involved at all. Ranging anywhere from early 30’s to mid 60’s. What took place was bondage , some lite spanking , a lot of humiliation , oh did I mention head , I got a lot of head but according to congress here in the US , oral sex is not sex. You did not think I would take time out of my day and get nothing out of it did you? The bottom line is each Submissive I met had a couple of things in common. One a lack of communication. Two they women were afraid of bringing the topic up. Three when their kink was talked about they were told they were sick get over it.

Discussing what direction you both want to go and again just how far. Our lifestyle is so diverse , there is no end and we are all different. What some may call a D’s relationship others may call it just kink , or while others may call it extreme.

Allow mistakes to happen because they will , you will probably spend hours and hours talking about the progression and the mistakes. There is no need to get discouraged , the important thing is to learn from your mistakes. Allow growth and explore and take notes and talk about things you do not like or your not will to do , put limits in place.

Get out in the community , go to local events there will be a lot you can learn especially when it comes to play , rope but most important impact play, safety is very important.

It is a long road but can be very exciting and the growing never ends… A lot of couples talk but do not talk openly , a lot are not able to share their feelings or thoughts in fear of the reaction they will get.

Why do people cheat ? They cheat because there is something they are missing, and it can be something as simple as communication , a lack of attention , maybe the sex needs to be worked on. Most see see sex as a one way street. With men however the cheating has to do with sex. The wife wont give head or is against anal sex , or maybe just kink. This is why communication is so important. Most people think its easier to just walk away instead of fixing something.. All you have to do is pack up and start all over and most of the time you leave with less than what you started with.

You both may seem lost at times , you may see yourself struggling , but if you both stay vigilant your world will rock.

A good source for information

bestslavetraining.com

Vile