Your a new Submissive, something just hit you, you came across a blog, a web-site, hearing your friends talk. You scan the internet looking for information. Your reading everything there is to read. As time goes by you begin to get hungry, you need the hands on, you need to feel what your feeling inside. It is like your on fire, but where does one go. I am to ashamed to talk to anyone about my desires. Ahhh there has to be dating sites. You come across ALT.com, Collarme.com, then Craigslist, yes I will run an add, I will make a profile.
The problem is you are really not sure what you like, what you do not like, what your into, your limits, more important your needs.
Your pretty much in the Dark, you feel lost, mass confusion,, you cannot stop thinking about being owned, you want a collar, you need to give up control. Where do I go or who do I turn to?
You run an add on Craigslist, and you get a hundred reply’s, and you pick out the best looking guy, he is good looking so he has to know what he is doing. So you email back and forth for a short time. Then you text, and finely talk on the phone.
You agree to meet, your told what to wear, over dinner he tells you that he wants to get a room, you do not feel comfortable but you comply, you want to please.
So once in the room, you suck a lot of dick, you get spanked a little, fucked. Then before you leave he hands you a collar. Don’t even shake your head this has happened to most every submissive.
Now you start to see each other, at first there is a lot of communication, but you find that he is getting short with his answers. Now it is mostly spanking, sucking cock, and fucking, nothing else.
You go by his word, he knows everything. He has drawn you into his world, he has gotten into your head. To you he can walk on water.
Then you read more or someone brings up BDSM events, munchs. You wonder what other dominants or slaves he knows, all these questions. He tells you that you do not need any of these things, he is all you need. He has all the information you need.
Your time together grows less frequent, your questions are no longer welcomed. Now the lost feeling comes upon you. You find out he has family issues, which puts you on the back burner. The question is were you ever number one.
Now your going crazy, you crave to see your Master you need his touch. You have no one to talk to, because you do not know anyone else in the lifestyle. You feel like your locked in a dark closet.
Then you wake up one morning, and your thinking there has got to be more to it than this. This cannot be right. It is nothing like I have read.
The bad thing is , it will take you much longer to break things off than it did to meet. At least with him you do have someone. It may be abuse, but still someone.
This happens all to many times. Most do not know the qualities of a good Dominant, nor do they know the questions to ask. More so the submissive cannot stand her ground on issues. that may arise.
Things to look for. He is in control, I have talked about this many times. No anger issues. A Dom with anger issues is not a Dom he is a man into kinky sex. A real Dominant will never raise his voice at you, never call you names out of anger, and the most important, never hit you out of anger. He should never threaten you.
A Dominant is in full control of himself , and his surroundings. He is calm, he speaks in a positive way, he is never negative. A good Dominant will drop what he is doing when you are in need. A good Dominant is supportive, caring, loving. A real Dominant will always put you first no matter what, you are the center of his world. A real Dominant, will not set you up to fail. A real Dominant will hold and comfort you. He will listen to you, even if you have to wake him up. You should feel you can speak to him on all levels.
If you are seeing a Dominant who does not meet anyone of the above, I would rethink my relationship.