Archive for the Daddy Doms Category

Meeting A Dominant For The First Time

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Daddy Doms, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock on January 22, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know I have covered this topic before but here we go again.


What a fucking rush , meeting a new Dominant and your head is spinning a hundred miles an hour.

I want you to meet me at Denny’s wearing the shortest skirt you own and no panties. The answer you should give is I will wear something that is comfortable. The one thing you want to do is dress for success , you want to dress so when you have the first eye contact the Dom’s jaw drops open. The last thing I want to see is someone show up in a Tee , baggy jean and flip flops. You do not meet any demands until you and the Dom agree to some type of relationship. He should not try to impose any rules on you because he does not know you. He should not offer a collar because you have not earned it. Being offered a collar on the first meet is meant to be a head rush , it is meant to make you feel special and needy.

Call me Sir or call me Daddy , Master. Now why would I do such a thing? One making demands in such a short period is living off of a fed ego and nothing more and if you comply it will only feed him more.

Keep your meeting simple , meaning do not share any personal information including your address , until you have his address. If he is not willing to invite you to his home ask for a reason.

knowing who and what you are , just because you meet a Dom does not mean he is the Dominant for you. You have to have things in common besides BDSM. Even though you may live a 24/7 you still have to have a vanilla side at some point and time..

When you look at the BDSM side you still have to have things in common. One of the first questions you will get is are you Bi?  I am not sure why most require such a thing but that seems to be a trend and more so with new Doms. Are you poly? This is also a common questions because the Dom wants 2 maybe 3 or 4 more just like you. Are you into pain? Do you like anal sex? Are you into humiliation that is another popular question?

You have to know when to say NO , you are being interviewed but you have to interview as well. The Dom may say no eye contact when we meet and you would say I am not comfortable with that right now. The no eye contact is just a ego filler , makes his head swell and his chest stuck out like king kong. Most will require you to wear a skirt with no panties and again this is where you say NO. You do not submit to anything until you have agreed to enter a relationship.

You cannot begin training the first hour of meeting a new Dominant it does not work that way. The Dom has to know you , I mean really know you and know you better than you know yourself.  What worked with the Doms last relationship will not work with you , we are all different , personalities , habits and needs. What does the Dominant want to accomplish out of your training? What are the Dominants goals in the relationship? What do you want to accomplish ? What are your goals ? All of this takes a great deal of thought and its not going to happen over night.

Do not give passwords to your accounts , do not give banking information to someone you hardly know. There are two types of Dominants who will demand these, the ones who are insecure and the ones who have a ego problem. Trust also comes into play but this falls under being insecure. You could wake up the next morning and find your bank is empty , this has happened and it could happen to you.

The first thing a new Dominant will tell you is he will be there for you , he wants you to trust him. He will be your shoulder to cry on you can depend on him for anything.  Then you text him and a hour goes by then 8 hours a day maybe two and not a word and you sit there holding your cell phone and every time you hear that text sound you jump only to find its someone else. You then call and the first ring it goes to voice mail , hmmm interesting , but you toss it up to him being busy after all he has a career.

So remember the demands part ? Good because you have the right to make demands you did this the first time you met right? Nah you were to scared to , you thought if you said anything he would leave and never contact you again , after all he is the one and the only one right? Nah he is one of thousands who would jump at the chance to bang you , one of the thousands to fill you with the same crap.

You have the right to have 24/7 access to your new found Dominant anything less is just stupid. How long does it take to reply to a text or email? How long does it take to answer the phone and say hey I will call in a few?

Keep your legs and mouth closed for at least 60 days , this will tell you if the Dom is serious or not . If he demands you start your training by sucking his dick on the first meeting then just politely decline and leave , I can assure you sucking cock has nothing to do with training. Maybe at some point and time you may be instructed to do something different but sucking cock in a Denny’s parking lot is not training.

You must know where he lives and you must be able to come over when you want. You must want him to introduce you to his friends after all you are going to be a part of his life.

Family and friends are important even today I give the girls time off for both. Everything is planned a month in advance I know everything and I seldom allow any changes once its in black and white. Allowing down time is very important , clearing your mind like a one day mini vacation. You should be allowed to visit family and friends , this is what makes you complete. Again if the Dominant wants to keep you from family and friends the two things hes insecure or the ego thing , there could be nothing else. Oh he might say it will interfere with your training or you don’t need anyone but him. This is not true , you as a sub or slave needs some kind of down time, you need to take a breather , let your mind clear , relax , get your head together.

Many Dominants who are new are very insecure , these are the ones who keep you from family and friends , or it can be someone who just uses the word Dominant as a way to lure you in , these are the ones who you only hear from maybe once a week , once a month and just drop in bust a nut and gone again.

some of you may be ok with just being used as a piece of ass , and if that is your thing then go with the flow , be yourself , be happy but there are those who truly need someone in their life. There are those who crave submission on a full time basis. There are those who crave the structure , being with someone and just to find out your being used by someone who could careless about your feelings.

Questions to ask a New Dominant you are meeting? How long have you been in the lifestyle? What is I am not Bi? I say this because he will ask you if you are. What is I am not poly nor do I wish to be? Are you active in the community ? To me this is huge this shows he is serious about the lifestyle. He may say no I have to watch my career , but the fact is there are doctors , lawyers and bankers who attend functions. If he does not you then ask I want to be active in the community would you object? Why would he we all crave to be around those who have the same interest and the opportunity to learn from others ? What happened to your past relationships and do you care if I contact them? Do you know other Doms if so may I contact them? Why would he object to either question unless there is something to hide? What are some of your protocols both public and private? How long is the initial training and what do you expect to get out of it , meaning what are your goals? I did not bring up rules mainly because when you first meet a new Dom he does not know you well enough to give out any rules , with the exception of maybe like a bed time or a time to call or text. This is another if I text you I expect a answer are you going to stay in contact with me? The I am at work or I was to busy that answer in today’s times is just plain bullshit , it takes maybe 30 seconds to answer a text or a couple of minutes to shoot someone a email.

Just because you meet someone does not mean you submit , Just because you meet someone does not mean you should give in to their intimidation tactics. Never give your passwords or banking information , someone asking for passwords to your social  media sites has a huge problem with not only trust but insecurity. You do not want to wake up one morning and find you have a zero balance in you account. No matter who you are you need some privacy. You need family and you need your friends. Do not give in.




Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.



BDSM And My Structure

Posted in 24/7, An Owned Slave, Argue, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Doms, Dominants Protocol, etiquette,, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Private Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave on June 6, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Structure no matter the lifestyle is needed , be it vanilla , Daddy Dom , Baby girl , Dominant and submissive , or Master and Slave , and last Domestic Discipline. Structure insures the home is ran smoothly and consistent. Structure insures the family or Master and Slave are on the same page.
Along with Structure comes come rules. Rules are needed to provide structure.
Even when the slave is out rules are followed and they are meant to give the slave a sense of direction. Rules are meant to provide a sense of direction under any circumstances.
A Slave or submissive is a direct reflection of their Dominant or Master. The Training is a direct reflection of the Dominant or Master and while out at a local event be it a Munch or a MAsT meeting or anything that is BDSM related the way your property acts comes back on the Dominant or Master.
While nothing may be said there is talk.

I will give a little insight , while at a recent munch I allowed Arianna to be open to speak as she wanted to. Sitting at a table with a few friends Arianna was laughing and joking having a good time.
As the munch ended everyone opted to go to a nearby Restaurant , we were all seated together and Arianna was laughing and making jokes.

The next day my email on fetlife was flooded with comments on how different Arianna acted the previous night. Everyone enjoyed hearing her crack jokes, and laughing. I explained to another Dominant it was protocols I had in place and that night she was allowed to be open.

If you take a look at

He speaks of standing orders , standing orders are a part of structure and protocols. Standing orders are as follows. Arianna brings me dinner after sitting my plate down she thanks me for allowing her to serve me, she then ask permission to sit. She will not begin to eat until I have taking my first bite. She will ask permission to go to the bathroom , shower , even shave.
When going out I choose her clothes, her nail polish and even how her hair will be done. With the above I am providing structure.

Everything we do is planned , I plan things out one week , two weeks and at times three weeks. We could be going to a Munch or MAsT meeting , out to a park , like last weekend we spent the day at Fort Desoto over near Tampa. I very seldom do anything spontaneous but at times I may have something I want to do and we do it.

Arianna’s mother may call and ask for our help , I will tell Arianna what days we are available and the hours we are available, and that goes with anyone who may ask for help.

Arianna arrives home and the first thing she does is strip , no clothes are allowed while home. She may however request to put on what we call slave dresses. These are very long dresses that touches the ground and have very lite and thin material. The stripping is a protocol.

Now your thinking wow Vile that is to much work , or your way to strict , or your to controlling, or you may be thinking I could never live that way.
The truth is all of the above is obtainable and is really fairly easy , once you the Dominant or Master puts everything in place.

All of the above should be worked out before entering the relationship. What structure will be in place , what protocols will be in place, and depending on how well you know the sub or slave what rules you will be putting in place. What many fail to see is rules are meant to provide structure and a sense of security.

Sending nude pics is not a rule or videos Masturbating , those are in noway meant to help with anything, with the exception of helping with humiliation , because most will send just to please , not because they want to.

Structure must be what ? I have said this a 1000 times , consistent and consistent on a daily basis, if you are not consistent everything you have put in place will not work and the sub or slave will see that you are not in full control. You cannot be a Dominant when you want to be , there is no on and off switch.

Your thinking I could never be that submissive , I could never give up that much control to someone. I am telling you under the right Dominant you could and you would want to give more and more and then spend time trying to figure out how to give even more.

I posed the question to Arianna when we first met how deep do you want to take your submission ? How do you see yourself living on a daily basis as owned property , a slave? Is there anything you need for me to add or put into place that will help you ? Her answer to all of those questions was I do not know.

Two and a half years later Arianna is not giving me input , she is sharing her thoughts and looking for ways to deepen her submission.

I had a Master tell me not long ago man that is just to much work , that is not my thing. My question was how much do you care about your slave ? Are you not willing to invest the time needed to put everything in place? How long do you want your relationship to last ?

You expect the submissive or slave to follow rules why would you expect them not to have expectations ?

Last year Arianna and I went to a local MAsT and the first question posed to me was how do you two argue ? I look at Arianna with a puzzled look , and I am thinking what the fuck is he thinking about? What kind of question is that ?

I look at him and I say we Don’t argue we don’t fight , I have never raised my voice towards Arianna.

How is this possible ? With all of the above, if you implement structure and your consistent , your relationship will flourish and grow with no end in sight.

When I ask people this question no one can give me a straight answer. Why do you argue ?

The above is just my opinion and nothing more. I am not in anyway judging anyone or telling someone how they should be living.
If you think that well to fucking bad.

Some say arguing is good but we all know that is a crock of bullshit , when you argue you say things that hurts ones feelings. Those words are a calm mans thoughts. Bet that. If your fighting and he calls you a stupid bitch he means it. Those are the thoughts he has when he is calm.



B. E. S. T. slave training.

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM and The Master, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, compatibility, Daddy Doms, gullible submissive,,, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, slave, Submission, submissive, Trainer A Slave on April 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is not often I pimp to many blogs or Web Sites but when I do it is for a good reason. To me it is kinda like recommending someone for a job , or someone asking me to be a reference for someone which I never do.

I learned a very long time ago not to stick my neck out for anyone , with the fall of a well known Gorean Master who got into a lot of trouble and did a little Prison time.
While at a munch last week I was speaking with another Dominant about him , and how he fell from grace. He was very well respected and really had it made. I believe when he got into trouble he was living with nine slaves. So for those reasons I never I mean never put myself out there like that any longer.

Our world the world we cherish because we are allowed to be who we are , we get to live our life the way we need and want to. We get to be us, we get to be real..

So here I am pimping so I guess I am back tracking a little but what I want to share about B.E.S.T. Slave Training is there is a wealth of information there. You can literately spend six months there and never read the same thing.

B.E.S.T. Slave Training also has a Fetlife group as well and is fairly active and Cuffsmaster who owns the group always takes part in the topics.

Many times it seems Dominants or Master who have been in the lifestyle for and length of time , spend way more time telling people who they are and what they have done , instead of reaching out to others , or criticizing the way other Doms live their lives and how wrong they are. There is nothing more irritating than having to listen to someone about all of their accomplishments in life. ME, ME , ME ,ME.

Most of what I blog about is about BDSM relationships , D’s and M’s but most you can even relate to Vanilla relationships as well. Because any relationship has to be about communication. Communication is the down fall of most.

Two things are needed before training begins , A Dominant who is sincere in what he wants and a Submissive or Slave who is sincere in moving forward as she is seeking freedom.

When I was in my early teens I read a book for History class. It was called Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. It was by far the deepest book I had ever read, and when I was finished I was like What ? So I read it again , and again and still did not fully understand it.

Today when I read something I want it clear and in a language I can understand , now I am not stupid by any means , but I love to open a book and be like Bam.

B.E.S.T. Slave Training going into a lot of information , but it is written very well, easy to follow and understand , and the good thing is you can find just about any topic your interested in.

I always encourage new Dominants to perv the site because of the wealth of information. It also gives you not only a Beginning but a steady flow of information. There is no book that can tell you how to form a D’s Or M’s relationship but you can gain good information. What works for me may not work for another Dominant.

I love sharing my life here , it is more of a place for me to think and vent at the same time. I also enjoy helping other , and at times offering advice.

You read about every ones life, their new path in the D’s lifestyle , you hear the sorrow, the bitching , the complaining, fucking , sucking, and everything in between.

The Grand Daddy of it all is the submissive or Baby Girl who is seeing the so called Married Dominant. His wife knows and does not care if he see’s other people. Do you really believe this ? Are you really that naive ? Second this man or so called man is no way in any form a Dominant. This is a man who cannot even run his own home. He will see you once a week for an hour or so , maybe twice a month or even longer. He fills you will the words of love and he is going to leave his wife when the time is right. Think about it if his life was so bad he would of already left.

To you subs or Baby girls who see married men and your trying to rip a home apart because you cant find your own man, that is all good because youa re used merchandise and nothing more , I would doubt anyone else would even want you..

Now over the past two years or so , since I began my journey of blogging , I have for what ever reason opened up my life to everyone. The good , the bad and the ugly.

I have also shared my extensive training process with my slave, my property , my wife and best friend. I explained in such detail it would of been almost like you were there watching.

Many new Dominants who come to me for advice , I point them in the direction of B.E.S.T. Slave Training. Much of what I use today comes from there. Training is not something that takes place in a one week period , four weeks or three months. Training is continuous, there is not a day that goes by I do not learn something.

new Dominant coming into the lifestyle looking for a Submissive or a slave you have to have the right tools. Even when giving the right tools if you do not use them and you decide to go on your own way because now you know everything , you will crash and burn.

I have brought most of this up before , but here lately I have had several new Dominants contact me, and what I am sharing is the best tools available today. Your not going to use everything , but you will be able to put a solid plan together.

B.E.S.T. Slave Training Fetlife

This will not work


What Is A Master And Their Role In The M’s Lifestyle

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Bdsm friends, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Daddy Doms, Dominance, Dominant, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive on April 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have argued this topic with other Dominants for many years , and no matter who you speak with 99 % of the time the answer will be different , we all have our own opinions.

So the question is who is right and who is wrong ? In most cases no one is wrong, in most cases everyone is right , because that is the dynamics of their relationship.

I tried not long ago to explain to an up coming Dominant and Master he does own. I tried to explain if your new and coming into the local community we have steps that have to be taken. We have standards and protocols that have to be followed. Now no matter where you live, what state , city , county , or country , there will a a Dominant who stands out in the community your in, someone who is respected. He is not a leader per say but someone who has a voice , someone who is heard.

We are to quick to judge someone , we are to quick to call someone a fake , because they do not follow your steps or my steps. What we fail to see is how their relationship is working, and even then it is not even any of our Business.

Many years ago I was asked to speak at a local munch, and the topic was Training. While speaking another Master started asking questions about a previous relationship I had been in which was short lived. This was completely off topic , but I listened and once he was finished , I simply told him if he had any questions about someone he should come to the horse and get the answers instead of listening to a Jackass. The debate got pretty heated and soon our voices began to rise , and we left on very bad terms…

Several years go by , Arianna and I are together and I receive am email. Master Vile I would like to invite you to our Munch to speak. What ? Are you kidding me ? This has to be spam , I know it is because this Master would never think of sending me an email.
I am talking to Arianna about it, and I am telling her it is a trap, there is something going on, and he wants to pick up where we left off. So Arianna and I load up and off we go.
Once in and the introductions were done we looked at each other shook hands and on my end , I could still feel a little tension, but as the night went on it did get better. Today we are good friends and he also found out that everything that was said was false. I had nothing to prove , so I had no reason to explain myself , to him or the pope for that matter.

I posted the question on Fetlife. What is the Difference between a Dominant and a Master , or you can through Daddy in the loop as well. Times have change over the past ten years, and I can remember going to my first Munch , and even going back more my first Black Rose meeting . Dominants sat with respect , and honor , they were not as quick to pass judgement on others, and many were willing to step up and help when needed.

Today much of the Munch’s and MAsT consist of the nasty word Drama. As Arianna sit and listen we look at each other and just shake our heads at each other.

Fuck this , fuck that , fuck them , who the hell are they to say that? Who the fuck are they to do that ? It just goes on and on , and I sit there listening in total disbelief that people actually live in the manner they are speaking. Drama is a cancer , and it is never ending.

This past week Arianna’s mother and I had a very in depth discussion and I had to put the breaks on a few things. When I was finished her mother Apologized not only to me but Arianna and that is something she had never done in Arianna’s 38 years. Make no mistake I run my home , I am head cheese, I am head honcho , I am the general and emperor, what I say goes. That being said I protect my home and I do what is needed to keep a positive flow going and eliminate any problems or drama before they come to light.

To this day , listen because this is the truth , Arianna and I have yet to have an argument. We have not even come close to having an argument or a disagreement. Now there have been things we have talked about and I do take Arianna’s advice at times. I talk she listens , she talks and I listen, after something thinking most of the time I go with Arianna’s idea , not all the time but it does happen.

A Master is a leader in the community , he offers help and Assistance when needed , he gives advice to those who are seeking it , and is non judgmental.
Today what many fail to see as far as Dominants go , being a Dominant is not a 9 to 5 gig, once a week gig, or once a month gig. You are 24/7 365. Once both have come to an agreement to enter a relationship, the dominant agrees to take on the responsibility. To my knowledge there is not an on and off switch when it comes to submission.

A Master is a leader in his Local community, he takes part in different functions , helps and takes part in teaching his point of views when it comes to the lifestyle. He shares his Knowledge , shows what makes his relationship work. A Master Is non Judgmental and open minded.

I myself am very open minded when it comes to different aspects of the lifestyle and the way people choose to live I make it a point to learn something new everyday, lifestyle related and non related.

A Master enjoys helping others expecting nothing in return ,A Master is in control , and gives 100% communication.

Here is an answer that was giving When I asked a question on fetlife. What the difference is between a Dominant and a Master.

What sets a Master apart for me, is that a Master is someone who is recognized as such for their contributions to community, for workshops, for volunteering, and participation with others. A Master reveals themselves with a strength of presence and natural gravitation to a leadership role, which they exercise through that recognition. This takes confidence, balanced with humor and humility. A Master has unique characteristics, that cause other Dominants to recognize and respect their wisdom and seek their council.

In my time in the lifestyle I have never heard someone explain a Masters role in this depth……

It is not to say that some Dominants do not step up to the plate or Daddy Doms do not step up to the plate because I have met and know a few.

What I do know is if more leaders do not step up to the plate , the art of our lifestyle will die. BDSM and everything it stands for will become a Myth just like the lost city of Atlantis .



The Truth About Daddy Dominants

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Collar, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Fake Dominants, fuck buddy, kinky, Local events, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.



Interview With a Little With A Touch Of Primal

Posted in Baby Girl, bdsm, Daddy Doms, openminded, primal, Primal sex, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , on January 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I love doing these what I call Interviews. It lets us deeper into someones life and maybe we hit on things that is not shared on their blog.

I stopped because one of the last ones basically the whole interview was a lie and I know this because they confessed shortly after , so I felt uncomfortable with sharing information that may or may not be true.

This is a different story I believe you are going to enjoy this interview , she is awesome and very straight forward , with a touch of primal….

I try not to get to personal but some of the questions I ask are to make someone think….

I also want to say I like her enough , my slave and I have invited her to our home in February and we will take her to an amusement park for the day then out to dinner. I also want to say I do not invite just anyone to my home. There are a few I have met on here I would but it is not very often..

So here we go……

Thank you for asking and I agree, if you are going to do it, tell the truth, shame the devil and have a good giggle ;-).  I’m sorry if this is long winded but you know how Self Important us Littles tend to feel about ourselves (giggle).

  1. Tell us a little about yourself . How many children do you have and how do you manage your day working ?My blog has changed names a few times but the last and final is Searching 4 Selina.  I have no problem embracing my Super Villian façade when it comes to dealing with things that scare me but I am learning to stop hiding behind my secret identity and to allow others to see the softer side of myself.

Like Shrek said, I am like an onion.  I may make you cry at times but odds are good you will laugh as well.  It can be painful but you keep coming back because I just add that extra spice you need!  I grew up in a military family raised by my Aunt and Uncle.  I have 3 older brothers who are very protective and old fashioned with one in the life style who is a Master and Sadistic.  I have always been very sheltered by the men in my family and in a way it has always allowed me to take chances and risks as I will always land on my feet thanks to them.  I am affectionately called the “Spoiled Little Princess” and that is a true description at times.  I will take as much as you allow me to.  Why?  Because I am the princess of course (giggle).

I have 3 children whom I love with all my heart.  They are all different and all very creative.  I grew up with “parents” who encouraged me to be myself and I passed this along to mine.  I ended up with a cheerleader, football player and a self celebrated “awkward, Social geek, and friend extraordinaire”.  I am THAT MOM… I drove a decked out mini van (until it went stupid), wear the shirts with my kids names to events and volunteer with the booster clubs, and for the youngest.  Whatever weirdness she is into (anime) I embrace, even to the point of tolerating Harley in DC.  She has a best friend who is gay and open in middle school.  She has adopted him and I call him my son as well.

As for work, I am a office/Program Manager so I have to be ON IT when it comes to most things.  I am highly respected not only for my knowledge but because those who meet me find me personal able and approachable when they need assistance and trust me when I say I will help I will help.  I am the subject matter expert and I speak my mind “respectfully”.  I have a schedule on which I do everything that helps me to remain in control/charge and to get things done.

2. How long have you been in the lifestyle and when did you come to realize you were a little ?  In a way I have always been in the life style.  My Aunt and Uncle were D/s and I got to grown up seeing the peace that it can bring to a relationship.  I think I have always known I was little but before they called it a “sweet spirit”.  I have always collected dolls, always been a hugger, and always LOVED Disney and embraced the innocence of life.  This has made my Aunt and Uncle’s children (my brothers and sisters) more protective of me as well.

3 Can you please explain the term little and what it means to you ..FOR ME:  A Little is someone in the BDSM Life style who has a inner Little person.  Its not a personality disorder but a genuine way of looking at things.  We like sparklies, we tend to giggle a lot, we squeak and squeal when we are happy you can feel that energy.  For me, my little is always a part of me.  At work they call me quirky as I hide in plain sight.  I wear pink bunny slippers when I want to get out of my heels, I have been know to skip down the halls after a long meeting, and once when meeting a new section head who was OVERLY STUFFY I sang the Mr. Rogers theme song under my breath

4. How many D’s little relationships have you been in and what happened ? I have had 5 and they were

1 – MP who was a Master.  I was with him from the time I was 21 to 25.  I didn’t know that we had a D’s relationship but rather viewed it as old fashioned.  After he proposed and we were planning the wedding he presented me with my 1st collar and explained it as well as the direction of our relationship moving forward.  We had already been doing spankings, and light bondage, I called him Daddy and he took care of me.  But naming it like that, I ran afraid at the feelings of invoked.

2 – CSM I was 35 to 37 and we got together not long after my separation and through my divorce.  He was  a Sadist and loved me very much.  He could cause suck pain but loved me so well.  I use to be afraid to tell people about our play sessions afraid they would think badly of him but having meet others here on WP I can be proud of my time with him.  He got sent to Japan so we had to end as I couldn’t go there or take my kids and he knew it wasn’t right to keep me waiting 3 years.

3 – Younger guy who was poly.  It was a bad experience as he had a slave who HATED ME and for the most part much of our relationship was to make her happy.  He even gave us the same collar because she hated that I didn’t have one while she had to wear one.  Also, he pretty much just piggy backed onto what CSM did and rules set by him.  He also went to Japan

4 – Garrick….Garrick was Primal and online only.  He and I were friends on Fetlife who found we had TONS in common.  We didn’t set out to enter into a DD/bg dynamic but rather…it just happened, two Primal people walk into a bar so to speak.  Even though we were long distance he really understood the needs I had and did his best to provide.  However he was married with a lot going on and became over whelmed and ended up abandoning me.  We have since spoken and gotten closure and it’s nice to have my friend back again.

5 – DK…goodness DK was a SAGA!  DK was Alpha and vanilla who loved me enough to try D’s and to try to be my Daddy.  He was good at the D’s part and found freedom in giving into his darker urges of being dominant and bondage (I once spent a weekend chained to his bed as I kept threatening to leave) and providing that FIRM HAND that I needed.  However he wasn’t a Daddy.  He did not feel those Daddy urges and could not REALLY understand my Little.  In the end, I had to accept that fundamentally we were NOT as good a fit as everyone thought and end the relationship.  I am blessed that we are still good friends which made the break up that much easier.

  1. What are you looking for in a Daddy Dominant? This is a hard question to answer as it is hard to define what I need in a Daddy.

#1 DADDY DOM!  He has to have a back bone, speak up and not get trampled under my feet.  I want him to put that bass in his voice and call me on my actions no matter how little and he needs to be a Daddy.  He must feel those Daddy urges and not just because I am for them.  Need to put me to bed, need to check on me, need to bath me or ensure that I brush my teeth and wash my face before bed.  MUST have that Daddy Dom tone and look DOWN!!!  The kind who will pull you in close, run his hand up the back of your neck then grab a fist full of hair to pull your head back when you get out of line
#2 – Affectionate and caring.  I love to snuggle and cuddle so having a DD that feels the same is important.  He will need to understand that as much as I crave sex there will be times when I need to put my hair in pony tails, crawl into my pj’s and hide away.  I need him to hold me and understand this is a part of me.

#3 – Sense of humor.  I am a Brat after all and I am going to get into mischief.  He will need to laugh it off when he tells me I can’t go somewhere by myself and I roll out with a call full of stuffies…he needs to be able to appreciate my creativeness even if he does have to punish me (not saying that he would HAVE TO punish me of course – giggle-)

#4 – Crave the power exchange.  If he needs to choose my panties every day, remind me to exercise, drink my water, go to bed, stay away from pepsi then he should DO IT, not ask me if he can.

#5 – Sexual…I need to be used sexually and I need to be used hard.  Fucked not only for my pleasure but for his as well.  CSM use to call me into his office when eh was stressed on something.  He would bend me over his desk, whisper in my ear “Not a word Little One” and pound the hell out of his pussy.  He would then fix my clothes, kiss my forehead and send me back to my office.

#6 – Protective…I have shared a little recently on my blog that I have a bit of social anxiety in some aspects.  I am 5’1 and in large groups of people I have a fear of getting separated from my group or run over by people not watching where they are going.  I don’t need him to make a huge things just pull my arm though his and hold me close.  I hate to order when dining out so I need him to order for me and not make it noticable that the wait staff make my skin crawl.  I am always nervous I am going to piss them off and they will spit in my food or they think I am stupid when I order from the kids menu or just judging me for my food choices period.

#7 – Assertive and firm in his role as my Daddy. If I am wrong then tell me I am wrong.  If I am to be punished don’t ask me if I should be, tell me to assume the position, and if you don’t like something then SPEAK UP because if he doesn’t then I will and its down hill from there.  As the Daddy it is his right to lay down the law and my duty to follow.  If I don’t know the law I can’t follow so there’s the pickle.

#8 Able to communicate his needs and desires to me.  I want to be useful and to serve him.  I can’t if he doesn’t tell me what he needs.  If he doesn’t tell me when I have let him down then I can’t fix it and if he doesn’t tell me that he misses me or appreciates me or even desires me then I am caught up in my own head telling myself god only knows what and that could be a problem.

  1. How are you different from other Little’s? I think what makes me different is that I am not JUST Little.  I have my Little needs, but also, I have the slave needs of desiring TPE and to hand over all control to my Daddy.  I have my primal feline needs and need an orgasm to relax and center myself so I’m a little more slutty than other Littles and I have found that I am a little to straight forward or more so than the others that I have meet.  I get to know a Dom first, without considering him as a “Daddy” possibility.  I don’t judge his kinks or pass but want to know HIM.  When they press me to be “their’s” I have no trouble saying “thank you but no thank you.  In the past I have had Dom’s ask why and I have told them, if he was meant to be my Daddy he would not have to ask for my submission, it would have already been leaking that way and all he need do is pull me in. I have only asked myself twice if I would submit to a Daddy and each of those times I should not have and stuck to my gut feelings.

    7. Knowing what you do now , is your search different when looking for a Dominant than lets say 2 years ago ? Yes it is, before I had a “vision” of what my Daddy was going to be like and over this journey I have meet and talked to to so many different types that I have found that what I WANTED and what I NEED are totally different.  I am more aware of who I am, of how I became this way and more secure in WHAT I am.  I don’t’ let labels define me or others but learned to use them as guiding points on my path.

    8.How important is it to be who you are?  It is VERY important to me!  I have found that when I try to be something that I am not, I am not happy and it causes problems for me.  I NEED to express all sides of my personality.  I NEED to be free to be me or I can’t be happy and I tend to start to resent the situation preventing me from it.  I have to stress I grew up ACCEPTED for me, over protected for it yes but accepted none the less.  My brothers know my short comings and took care of me.  They never made me feel less for it but always made me feel loved that I can balance a $50,000 budget at work but suck at balancing my own check book.  MP never made me feel less of a mother because I use to have Disney movie days with the kids growing up but would rather come over and build the blanket fort for us (I suck at the structure part of it -giggle-).  I am smart, sexy, sassy, snarky, and slutty and I am okay with that  so everyone else should be as well.

    9. Are you looking for a Daddy who is looking for a family , meaning to include your children a father figure ?  My children have 2 wonderful fathers who have worked together to put aside their ego’s and co-parent 3 wonderful children.  I would expect for my Daddy to join that tribal at some point but to also understand they have FATHER’S who provide for them, he will be back up where needed and when they are with us.  Our triad has always include my oldest daughters step mother Tru and I would hope that my Daddy would join us in the same fashion.

    10.  You had mentioned you are primal when it comes to sex , could you explain what you mean by primal ?  For me, attraction isn’t based on a certain “body type”.  In person, its been the way they smell, their voice tone, or even the way that they carry themselves.  It makes my nipples hard, or my panties wet and I want to know more.  I find myself watching them, learning them and plotting their down fall into my bed.  I have often sat a dinner and just craved to run my tongue up their neck and have even done so a couple of times, the need to taste them that strong.  I am submissive in my relationship needs but when it comes to sex my feline has her own.  She will use whatever is necessary to be feed.  I have used puppy dog faces, sad eyes, tears…to weaken a Dom and get him to let down his guard and pull me close.  Once he does I use what I have learned about him to my advantage to seduce him.  Nibbling his neck and saying the words I know turn him on, running my hands along his chest.  I actually had a guy whose weakness was stocking and heals.  I “twisted” my ankle and when he was rubbing my foot to check for swelling I started rubbing his crotch with it (silly Dom’s – Giggle).  I call it “breaking the Doms” because afterwards they will apologize afterwards for taking advantage of me which always makes me giggle.  They ask why giggle, I admit the truth and they get all “Domly” and “explain” how it will be from that point on.  I always grin and say “OTAY” and it becomes an issue I’m not repenant about my actions.  If you want to make me sorry, punish me, if you don’t then just accept that I enjoyed it and lets move on.  There have been those that I wasn’t able to seduce and found them all the more that repremand and firm putting of me in my place…just YUMMIE!

There have been men who capture my attention with their words, in fact, I never really know what will capture my feline side but once sighted she “hunts” them.  There have even been a few times when she had discontinued the hunt finding someone lacking or not the meal she envisioned them to be.  Funny enough, I have never regretted sex with anyone but I have regretted a few relationships (giggle)

  1. You stated some of your friends do not agree with your primal side , is there anything you would like to say ? I wouldn’t say “AGREE” with my primal side but it was hard for them to understand that I am okay with my slutty needs and side.  I don’t’ view sex the same as them.  I need a connection to have sex so I don’t just fall in bed with ANYONE but when I feel that connection and attraction…I just want to ride him like a pony at a carnival or suck him like a Tootsie Roll and I’m trying to answer the age old question…how many licks does it take to get to the center (giggle).  However I am also a little more vocal about my needs and have no shame on how people take it.  I am not A SLUT, I am HIS SLUT and I’m okay with that.  However I also had to realize that my friends were concerned out of love and now they understand that I am not just slutty but I am safe and slutty.

    12. You are a little but how much control do you want to give up in a relationship ? I NEED to give up total control in my D’s relationship.  I am seeing a TPE (Total Power Exchange) where I know that my Daddy is the boss in all things.  Now this doesn’t mean micromanage as I am a pretty smart girl but I do want to always answer to him.  I want him to take charge of my weight loss, my eating and sleeping habits (they are HORRIBLE) as well as to ensure that I am not blowing my money on ever Dooney/Coach bag that I see (giggle).

I love checking in with my Daddy when I am away from him, having to ask for permission to masturbate (orgasm control) is such a turn on to me, and knowing that he CARES if I do or don’t do these things makes me feel truly loved and secure in my relationship.  I think that many don’t realize that growing up the way I did, my uncle and brothers showed me the benefits of submitting to another’s will so it comes natural to me.  I don’t’ feel the need to buck or fight, once I have that faith and trust in someone I can exhale and let it go.  Maybe that is a down side to the way that I was raised…but it is what it is right.