Archive for the Depression Category

As A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, Consistency, Depression, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, fucking, Manipulation, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, submissive, viledesires62@aol.com on June 18, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is our responsibility to pick those up who have stumbled, those who are having a hard time coping , Those who are having a stressful position on life , those who are confused and feel they have no one to turn to.

Something that irks me , is to be at a public outing and the big bad Dom sits back and tells about his times and travels , what he has done, what he knows and the mile long experience he has, but when a submissive needs a helping hand they just turn their back and walk away.

You want the pussy but you do not want the responsibility , you want your dick sucked but you do not want the responsibility, you want to tie their ass up and beat them but you do not want the responsibility.

This does not pertain to all of course there are those who just enjoy fucking , but there are the few who are different , there are the few who suffer from depression. When you play with someone who has some sort of mental issue , you are doing nothing less that manipulating  them, your playing head games and once your front door closes your done your finished.

I was talking to someone the other day and he wanted to know hot to train someone , so in answering that each is different but I gave a few ideas and he stopped me midway and said it was to much work.  I explained that it could be a little work in the beginning but within 60 to 90 days everything would start to fall into place.

Training is no joke , as a matter of fact it is something close to rehabilitation , you are changing someones thought process, changing habits, the way someone dresses , talks and walks, of course this is a M’s relationship and at times it very well could be a D’s. Once everything is in place it is just daily maintenance , not weekly or bi-weekly it is daily.

You want the perfect relationship but your not willing to put the effort into building something that could be the most intense relationship you have ever had..

Karma is a bitch and it will bite you in your ass. Think twice before you ruin someones life. Unless your in for the long run leave the ones who are vulnerable   and need that guiding hand alone, unless your going to answer your phone at 3 am.

Playing with those who have emotional problems or suffer from depression does not make you a Dominant , it shows you are weak and you have no values, and if you think for one minute that you are not being talked about you are dead wrong..

So next time your sitting at at table at a munch and you introduce yourself as Master Dick , take a look around the room.

Vile

She Was Tied To A Tree

Posted in Acceptance, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, compatibility, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental illness, outdoor bondage, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first real rush , I was in my early teens and Bev and I were in the same grade. I remember after a Baseball game I sat with her on the bus and fingered her until we reached the school. We never really talked to much even though I would hang out over at her house , in fact she was more like a tom boy with a body built for sin.
Bev had come from a State home and her now parents were friends with my parents. Man if they had only known she was fucking everybody in school. I posted before about the teen whore , but now as I look back it was just a cry for attention.

I imagine many who are Baby Girls , submissive and even Slave are in need of the same , in fact I believe many are starving for attention. When you go into a relationship with that need it is very easy to be misled, and more so being taking advantage of. Your emotions can fuck you up and fuck you up fast, they will make you blind, and it has to be a fucked up feeling.

You know it is weird but it is almost like I am emotionless , I mean not when it comes to Arianna or close friends , but the reality is I really do not give a fuck.
I take care of my own and I expect others to do the same. If you spend your time in others Drama it drains your soul , and you become part of their cancer. I have said before I am unforgiven , I am not sure where that part of me came from, its just how Ive always been. You can be standing right in front of me talking and I see nothing and hear nothing.

People spend more time trying to be politically correct instead of speaking their mind. Acting like you care because when they are not around they are now the topic of discussion.

Growing up my dad has these fucked up Truck stop books. The slut next door, The town whore, you get the picture. Well at my age and zero communication with my parents , how would I know any different? At that age it is hard to differentiate fiction and non-fiction. So my thoughts were , women were merely objects , toys that were meant to be used.

Bev and I were like fuck Buddies and nothing more, when were fucking she would just ask if I wanted to fuck her ass. So this type of non relationship just justified my reasoning. In many ways Bev was just like the girls in the books I had read.

Bondage Sluts was a good book , well at that time it was, but it gave me a different point of view now, a whole new world had just opened up. Now I had to experiment , I wanted to be the dude in the book , and who would be best to play out such a fantasy ? Yes Bev she would be my first experiment.

I never told her what was up , during the week I had gone to the feed store about bought some rope. Leaving the house My dad asked me what my plans were for the day and I just turned around and looked and walked out.

Once out in the woods I took immediate control and I told her to strip. Once nude I looked around for two trees and instructed her to come to me. I took one arm tied the rope around one wrist and then the other. I took my shirt off and put it over her head so she could not see me.

As I stood in front of her and I knelt down and I just gazed at her I got the rush , chill bumps just went across my whole body, and I was thinking man what power.

I got up and walked behind her and I slipped my belt of folded it in my hand and with out a word right across her ass , and she said nothing. Then again and again and again and not a word.
At this point and time it had nothing to do with getting pussy , or getting my cock sucked it was the control I had over her, it was a total rush I had never felt before.

I am almost positive this is where my journey began , and it would be some two years later I would be introduced to BDSM while stationed in Korea. Although I did learn a lot there were things that were not fully explained , and it would not be until years later that I would learn of my many mistakes.

It is way to easy to play on someones emotions , and that makes it easy to take advantage of someone. Then it did not bother me so much but today I like to sleep at night. It took me years to learn communication was the first key. and that Horrible word I always use ? Consistency. That word goes with communication.
I knew how to get into someones head , but staying there was always the problem, and I did not know the difference when someone was emotional and needy and not.
I like the challenge , even when someone does not show any real interest. I love knowing what makes a submissive or slave tick. I like to be able to get in and knock on some doors opening each and every one.

If you go deer hunting and every deer is tied to a tree what challenge is that? Sure your going to brag but I can assure you , you will leave the tied up part out.

So it is always not the Subs fault, although it does make it pretty easy to put them blame on her , but after several relationships failing you would think , hey something is wrong?

There was a time when I was going though a slight depression phase , so I did what most would do or at least what I thought should be done. I dropped everything , and regrouped. I stayed to myself I did not date because I knew in order to have a successful relationship I had to be in the right place. I also knew it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.
I moved and I rented this awesome one room cabin on the river. You know everything was in one big room, the living room , kitchen and dinning room , an old log cabin it was really cool. I would sit on the porch and just vegetate , really not even thinking about anything. I guess I was like defogging my brain ,trying to figure out my next move. This lasted maybe a year.

Once I had gathered my thoughts and I was feeling good again I moved into a house and I put a plan into motion. I sit down and made a list of what I wanted in a slave and I began to search.

I really hate hearing other Dominants play on someones emotions or feelings. I wish I could be a better Dom , I am really trying to be a better Dom, I wish I was a better Daddy. All of those words are really Pathetic. These are the guys who prey on the gullible , the insecure, not knowing what they are doing , or have a low self esteem.
This is also where the dude gets played , because his whole life revolves around one thing and that is pussy , and he is deer hunting , but he is looking for the deer tied to a tree. He does not want someone who has goals , or is independent , or has a self esteem, he is looking for the weak.

Reversed the sub feeds on the weak , getting her way , taking advantage of the so called Dominant , while making him feel in charge by spreading on demand. Playing with depression is a very dangerous game.

Okay yea there is medication , you can feel better , but the medication keeps you in check. Most who suffer from serious depression have daily routines , thus having structure in their life. If you add or take away from their daily routine you throw everything off balance , and it does not matter what type of meds your on it fucks everything up. Male or female to fuck with someones emotions when they suffer from depression can be a deadly game.

It was not long ago I had Arianna bound. I love the plastic wrapping you get from uhaul. You can wrap the entire body and they cannot move or get lose. I have a black leather hood I love using. Arianna was laying on the bed all wrapped up with the hood on, and I knelt and the same rush came over me. I was just thinking man what control.
I had every hole exposed to me and I could do basically anything I wanted , but that is not what I wanted I just wanted to admire. Admire my slave, my property , and my wife.

I love the Rush

rush

Vile

Why I want To Be Your Slave

Posted in 24/7, A slaves passwords, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant with drinking problems, Dominants, Dominants who suffer from depression, Email, Inservice Slave, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First off I usually do not share something this personal, but I wanted to give some idea of the steps we took before entering a relationship. This was not a rush to judgement. Our relationship was something that was giving a lot of thought on both parts.

Arianna was going through her email last night and found an email that was in the very early stages of our relationship. A email that was not only deep in nature , but an email that set the pace of our awesome relationship. Many it seems it is much easier to put things on paper because it is much easier to express yourself. Sitting in front of someone when asked a direct question can cause some to mumble away out of nervousness. So if your ever in that situation let it be known your not ready to answer you need time. That statement is fair and needed sometime , unlike the TV shark tank where a decision has to be made right there and then.

Moving onto a D’s or M’s relationship is a huge step , you have to know exactly what your getting yourself into and you need to make sure your both on the same page. Being open and honest about your needs is very important.
If your a submissive and one of your hard limits is golden showers , but the Dominant you are talking to has a fetish with Showers , then you have a lot of thinking to do.

Warning signs you should look out for. A Dominant with anger issues, a dominant with anger issues is not a dominant , he is a predator. A Dominant with anger issues will abuse you and you can get hurt. A controlling Dominant , a controlling Dominant demanding all of your passwords to your different accounts, your social media accounts. This is not a Dominant this is an insecure male trying to bully his way into a relationship. If the Dominant your talking to is into pain and you are not , then he is the wrong Dominant for you.. That would be the same if you were thinking about seeing a Dominant who suffers from depression, although there are some who would disagree…. If a Dominant cannot control his own life in all matters, then how can he control you ?

It is like buying a pair of gloves , you want a nice tight fit, if it is to big it just will not fit right. Having the perfect it is very important…

Back to the email , I had a question that had seven words in it, once I asked Arianna the question , I told her she could have sometime to think about it. I asked the question because I wanted to know where she was coming from. I wanted to know her feelings and what she was thinking.

She did answer me in an email and this was her answer.

Why I want To Be Your Slave

Date:01/03/2013 8:55 AM (GMT-05:00)

These are Arianna’s words

Of all the titles that one can have, the title of Slave is rare. Only a true slave can fulfill their Masters needs.
I want to become a true slave.

In my mind, a true slave:

Can foresee their Masters needs.

Is available for service at any time

Has no safe words but relies on their Masters care and attention that He may take me a little further than I would normally go on my own.

Is an extension of their Masters hand.

Is open to new experiences.

Has a continually thirst to serve and be of service in any aspect the Master desires.

Trusts Master more than oneself.

Why I choose you?
You are strong and attentive. Caring and consistent.

Why do I want the title of Viles’s slave?
I believe that there is a lot to learn. That my mind has just barely touched the surface of M/s.
I have a longing for my body, mind and soul to be owned. I have a desire to be a captive to the imagination of You. I am clay ready to be molded. I am a virgin slave per se and I need to be controlled. I need to be bound. I need to be gagged. I need to be restricted. I need to be used. I need to feel like my body belongs to You. I long for the mind fuck. I want to lose control and let go. I want You to get in my head and make me Into Your pet. I want to lay at Your feet. I want You to become my sole thought. My sole need and desire. I wish I could flip a switch and give You all. Maybe after we have the house to ourselves I can take a week and just be there for you in an intense training. Naked, chained, fed by you. I can become anything you want. I want to go deep. If I could I would be with you 24/7. Ideally, I would love to be chained and work from home on the computer running your business.

Those are really deep words , and even today Arianna is finding and thinking of more ways to give more of her submission.
Second Arianna did go through a very extensive training plan for a period of 90 days. Those 90 days were the make or break it time. I would also like to add Training is continuous on going daily.

Once you have everything in place, rules , public and private, protocols both public and private the relationship really moves very smoothly…

universe

Vile

Dominants And Depression

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Advice, Arianna, bdsm, Depression, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , on December 13, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a blog I have been working on for sometime , and it is a subject I have not seen anyone touch on for what ever reason. The fact is Depression is alive and well in both men and women and children as well. It seems way to easy to push medication on someone rather than look at the root of the problem.

There are a lot of medications people take for depression that has real bad side effects , I am mainly speaking of the body organs.

I have a friend who is bi-polar but also suffers from Paranoid schizophrenia

R is really on some heavy duty medication and right now his kidney function is down to about 15% and he is only in his mid 50’s. Pretty bad side effects I would say.

I am no doctor nor do I have a PHD , what I do have though is about 25 year in the lifestyle and almost as long being active in the community. I have met thousands of people in the lifestyle over the years, and the few things I have done and done well is, I have learned to listen , Observe and take in massive amounts of information. I have also learned to read people very well.

I have spent years talking to those who are submissive as well as slaves , and I have met Dominants from all over the world. Again I watched , I listened , and I observed.

I am always watching my surroundings when I am out. The other night Arianna and I were walking and I was asking if she remembered things around her and she said no.

I then went on and said and the end of the road the house on the right there is a red mustang parked in the driveway, along with a Toyota tundra , while walking past another house there was a car and I asked her what was missing , and she shrugged and I said there is a Nissan pickup missing , sure enough on the way back the truck was there as well as the mustang and the Tundra.

I myself think it is very important to be aware of your surroundings , especially with everything that is going on around the world today.

Pocket mouse a very dear friend who at the age of 23 took her own life. A Dominant on Facebook took his own life two weeks ago and put pictures up of the before on his Facebook. Both suffered from depression and both took what they thought was the easy way out….Over the years I cannot count on both hands the number of Dominants and submissive’s who has taking that road , thinking it was the easy way out.

Being a Dominant is no easy task , despite what many may think. Being a Dominant is not about barking orders , or getting your cock sucked. There is a lot of responsibility that comes along with that title.

So we not only have our life to look after , we now have a slave or submissive to look after. We are not only making decisions for one but two. So any mistakes we make does not only effect us , it effects someone else as well.

Please do not take me wrong everyone in life deserves a chance , and if your a Dominant in the lifestyle and you suffer from any type of depression you just need to find your happy medium.

How much responsibility do you want to take on, the rules you want to enforce , the amount of structure you want to put in place, or maybe your just into kink. The idea is to keep yourself healthy….

Then comes the manipulation when the submissive has a Dominant who suffers from depression.  Your with this Dom because he will cave in to your wishes rather than try and stand firm. Any undo stress put on anyone who suffers from depression works against their medication. At this point the submissive is in full control of the relationship

You have to think if it is fair to put so much responsibility on someone knowing they are not able to take it , or maybe they do not even want it.

The same would go pushing a submissive farther than they are really capable. Forcing someone and most will do what ever if they think they are pleasing or hoping they can just hold their relationship together.

We all want and need a drama free stable life. The less problems we bring on ourselves the better our life flows.

Arianna , Arianna is my world and I know she has limits, not sexual or serving but mental limits. I know her breaking point and I respect that.

At times Arianna even gets a little manic , at times and I give her a little rope because I know there are things she feels she has to do , I am not talking about anything crazy , but you cannot just spit out the word NO all the time.

Knowing someone your in a relationship with is a must. I am going to show you an email I received from a Dominant who wanted advice. He was asking what type of punishment I thought he should give her, I was like really are you serious ?

The thing is they have been together for almost two years and he did not even really know her. This is something I have brought up several times over the past couple of years…

Email from Fetlife

written 5 days ago:

Good afternoon sir. I was wondering if I could ask you a question and get your advice.

Vile1962 52M
Florida
written 5 days ago:

Sure feel free

written 5 days ago:

Ok this is the situation. We went out Saturday night and had some drinks and danced then we were leaving and my sub ended up having a little to much. Well on the way out she seen a guy she had not seen in a long time and said hello and started talking. Well she talked for a while and I told ok baby let’s go. She turned around and said she is talking and we will leave when she is fucking done. Of course I couldn’t correct her right then. So I went and got the car and pulled up and told her again let’s go. Then the other guy that was with her friend came over and threatened to fight me. Well then she finally came and we left. Well we dropped off a friend that was with us and then stopped at a store unfortunately the same guys pulled up at the store and well things got heated and almost fighting. In the mean time my sub ran into the store and locked her self in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out. I didn’t know at the time but she is terrified of violence because of something in her past and went into a shock and was not in her right mind. She was scared of me and wouldn’t talk to me or anything. She said she wasn’t going to talk to me and if I didn’t leave her alone she would call the cops. Well she ended up getting into the car with those other guys and they were taking her to her dads. To shorten story once her mind got out of were ever she was. I got her and we went home. Everything is ok now. I realize I was wrong with some of my actions and lost control. But I didn’t realize this problem of hers. So I am on the fence on what to do. I feel she should have some punishment for some of the stuff she said and did. Now that I know she has this deep problem that don’t have all the details to I am going to work with her on that part to help her. I don’t want to hurt our relationship or mess her up. Should she be punished? What are your thoughts? Also I don’t abuse her and never will so. She knows that but just went to her past or something.

written 5 days ago:

I do know I did wrong as a dom allowing myself to lose control

Vile1962 52M
Florida
written 5 days ago:

This time let it slide.
I speak about this type of behavior in my blog.

See you know her but you really do not know her , which tells me the two of you have a huge communication gap.

Both of you should set time aside so you can just talk and talk about anything.
Punishing is not always necessary nor is it needed.
She probably acted out because you two had not discussed any type of protocols while being in public.

You have to be a Dominant 24/7 you are responsible for her health and well being.

If you had truly known her you could of prevented much of what happened.

Now as to her you need to let it be known her disrespecting you will not be tolerated.
This falls under protocols meaning how she is to act in public or private.

Losing your cool was not cool. We are to remain in control at all times.
That does not mean you let someone push you over , but a man in control has just that.

You need rules in place and you have to be consistent.
Rules are taking bad habits and replacing with good ones.

Protocols keep her in check when out.
1 she can talk to anyone.
2 she can speak when spoken to.
3 not a word.

You two can add or take away to fit your dynamics.

Just let her know she disrespected you and it will not be tolerated.

Hope I gave you the answer you were looking for

 Florida
written 5 days ago:

She tells you about herself in her profile, under fetishes.

Behavior modification , pushing your buttons to see if you will stand firm.

Remember getting angry shows a weakness she is now pushing your buttons.

written 5 days ago:

Thank you sir for your insight. I know as far as what she has let me know. I am working on it. She has a bad past with other people. She keeps some locked away. Some of it she doesn’t remember herself because she locked it away deep. I have been working hard to help. She said today that she is shocked that I have gotten deep in her mind. I have brought out some of it out and helping her heal. It is a process for sure. There has been stuff come out that she didn’t remember until it was brought out. She couldn’t remember it but it was effecting her. The one that came out the other night was one that was a shock to her also. That is why I was on the fence about punishment. You did confirm what I was thinking and not punish but have a firm talk and let her know it will not be tolerated. I just wanted to make sure that was the right thing to do and not let her think she can get away with it. Yes she does like to push my button and it is getting better. She Is learning that I do have that firm grip. It also helps me grow into a stronger dom also.

If you do not truly know someone more so in a D’s or an M’s relationship your at a dead end. It is clear she suffers from depression and her past still haunts her.

Is he a bad Dominant ? Probably no just inexperienced and still learning. The plus side is he is reaching out and asking for advice. I believe he cares for her but still has a lot of growing to do.

Depression is very serious and in some cases it can be deadly.

As Dominant we provide a couple of things, security being one, With security comes communication and honest communication.. Having the ability to speak when you need and open allows you to grow.

You need to set time aside on a daily bases and talk. You talk about anything and everything. Getting someone to open up is no easy task by any means. That is why through out the day I ask Arianna , Hey what is on your mind ? What are you thinking ? She will then share a long list of random things she has been thinking about and we talk about them.

What is fair for you may not be fair for someone else , you cannot just think about yourself , and if you do that is pretty selfish.

Communication

Vile

When Your Life Self Destruct’s

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Mentor, Bipolar, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, control, Depression, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Master, Master And Slave, Self-Discipline, slave, Submission, submissive, Vile Woods on FaceBook on December 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Things get crazy at times , life gets crazy , work and even family. Then at times it seems friends or co-workers want to dump their life in your lap hoping you can fix what ever is wrong.

I talk about Depression a lot , and that is because it seems to play a huge role within our lifestyle.
While it is true there are those who do not suffer from depression or anything , I do believe the numbers are pretty high.

The good news is with the right care , the proper medication , and the right partner in the lifestyle or not , things can and will flow pretty smoothly.

When things go wrong or not as planned this is when things get complicated , but there is really no need for it.
It seems when things get a little crazy the thoughts get a little crazy and here comes the confusion.

Arianna does suffer from depression and we have been pretty lucky the last 2 years or so things have continued to have a upward swing.

It is not to say things do not get a little crazy because they do, but what ever is going on is controlled and controlled very quickly.

When I first met Arianna I went to a few of her Doctor appointments hoping to speak with her. The Doctor declined which I found kinda weird but anyway it was time for me to step in.
I found Arianna a new Doctor someone who would talk to me, we changed up the medication a little and WHAM as good as new.
There is always room for improvement but if you can find stable ground you pretty much just chill.

A couple of months ago I lost a friend in the lifestyle due to depression and she was only 23. She had spent a long time being abused and I am sure she felt like she had no one to turn to.

23 Years old she had a whole life ahead of her and there is no telling what she could of accomplished in her lifetime.

You can have friends and still feel like you have no one to talk to. You can be in a room full of people and feel like there is no one to talk to.

You can become depressed in a split second and you do not know what put you in that frame of mind. You ride it out and in a day or so your back to normal.

The health issues I have talked about over the past few years is a topic that should come up when you first meet someone. I have a list in my mind a mile long and at the end of the conversation I have much to think about before I want to commit to a relationship as I did with Arianna.
Arianna was not a split second decision , entering a relationship was something I had to give a great deal of thought.

I myself get into down and out moods from time to time, I get quiet and I am just thinking and really thinking about nothing, and it does pass.
I am not on any type of medications nor do I need to be. As of right now I am in a good place and it will continue to get better.

Depression can be bad , it can be really bad and at times people take the easy way out. That is not always the answer because I am a firm believer anything can be fixed and I do mean anything….

Knowing someone is truly interested in you and not just your cock sucking skills makes a world of difference.
Knowing that someone is working towards putting you back on the right track makes a world of difference.
Someone stepping in and taking up the slack makes a world of difference.
Someone who is willing to communicate with you , makes a world of difference, someone who cares about your thoughts and needs makes a world of difference.

There are a lot of factors that come into play when your in a relationship and not just a D’s or M’s relationship. The structure , the drama , the consistency , and helping you reach your goals.
Positive reinforcement

Being depressed does not mean you are broken , it just means you need a little more support. There is nothing wrong with that.

There is only one thing you need to get straight in your life before entering a relationship , and that would be your life.
It is not fair to someone to enter a relationship and you just dump your baggage in the living room and say hey fix it..
It is not fair to dump everything on someone and expect someone else to fix something you fucked up

If your in that depression mode , you should not even being considering entering a relationship , again it is not fair. At this point and time your problems are not for someone to fix, you have to fix yourself.

Being open and upfront about your depression and the problems is causes should be brought into the conversation when meeting.
This will give the Dominant time to decide if this is a path he wishes to walk or just tell you its not for him.

Looking for a relationship is one thing but looking for someone to rescue you in much different.
The rescue Dominant and there are a lot of them out there , but those relationships are very short lived because many bite off more than they can chew.

Before entering a relationship come up with a check list, and check things off one at a time until the list is completed.

Depression if your meds are not working then maybe your due a change or even another Doctor. Because if your on the wrong medication nothing is going to help.
Most Doctors today just want to push pills instead of getting to the root of the problem.

Always have someone you can talk to a close friend we all need one of those. We all need someone we can confide it.
That is very important and will help you stay a float when times are bad.

The submissive should have a mentor in the lifestyle a female mentor.
Most Doms who want to mentor subs or slaves are just out for ass.
A female mentor is going to understand you on much more deeper levels , you will also want to share more.
A female mentor has no motive when it comes to helping you.

Medication , you can be on the right medication but if your with someone who is just toying with your mind, it will no doubt put you in a bad place.
You want to make sure the one your with has your best interest in mind. If your just being used they are not going to care what state of mind your in, once you become a liability to them , your going to get dumped anyway.

To keep things on a smooth tract and it is possible , you need to have certain things in place, again things such as structure , rules , you need daily routines , and none of these things mentioned are hard it is just finding someone who is willing to devote the time that is needed..

You can prevent any of the above if you just sit down and think things out, and talk to someone.

Life is meant to be good.

self_destruct_large

Vile

Depression And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, A Submissive's Home, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anger, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Bipolar, codependent, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants who suffer from depression, Master, slave, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know I have been down and out in my life. I have hit rock bottom and crawled back up dusted myself off and hit the trail , not really worrying about where I was going , but making sure I did not repeat the same mistakes.
By the grace of who ever I have never been homeless, I have always managed to stay a float.

I remember i was 13 I am guessing , and when I woke up a bright light was shinning in my eyes. It was the police , and my parents had been in a huge fight , a fight that got pretty physical.
So my brother and I were taking to a foster home and we were there for about a week before being allowed to go home.

This was not something that was unusual , as a matter of fact it happened pretty often.

Although I was popular in school , some of the kids started talking about me because I had been wearing the same pair of pants for half of the year. I knew something had to be done.

We had a small restaurant across the street so I went and talked to the owner about washing dishes.
At 13 I worked from 3.30 pm until roughly 10pm on the weekends 11pm. Yup I was making 2.35 an hour.
The funny thing was it took almost a month for my parents to even know I was missing at night, and once they found out they wanted a cut.
Yea I am thinking not. I did however pay the power bill to get the lights turned back on, we had gone most of the winter without heat or hot water.

So in about two months my closet was full again, jeans , shirts dingo boots , yea I was pretty well set.

At the age of 15 I went to work at the local cotton mill, and I went from 2.35 an hour to 4.25 union wages ha ha ha.
On top of that I still continued to go to school and I made 170 bucks a week , and I had a plan it was just putting everything into place.
At the cotton mill I ran a huge denim sewing machine, it was about 15 feet wide and as long and when it was threaded it had 800 single threads making one huge white sheet of denim before being dyed. It was a total bitch if a thread popped.

At 15 I knew I was changing I had started dating and this is when the rough sex came into play.
I had read most of the smut books my dad had bought from local truck stops and they are all pretty violent. Girls gagging on 14 inch cocks being fucked up the ass, just all about humiliation. Okay so I thought we this must be the norm although I did not have a 14 inch cock.
As you guess I did not date to much, my pickens were far and few between, well I had Beverly but so did everyone else then a girl named shannon. I had a different level of respect for her so she was treated different than Beverly.

Then I turned 17 and a Army recruiter came to out high school one day and I was in.
My plan was coming together , I made the appointment took all the test , brought home the paper work and after dinner one night I told my parents I had to take summer school and I had some forms they had to sign to approve it.
Bam 2 signatures and I was ready to go. I was now in the United States Army.

The 14th of October I turned 17 , while upstairs packing my dad walked in and asked me what I was doing.

I said you know , its been nice , well not really but I am out of here, I just cannot live like you two do any longer. So it is time for me to say goodbye I hope things get better.
The shit hit the fan, well it to late you and mom already signed the paper work I am leaving today and Ill be at Fort Dix New Jersey tomorrow.
If you take one step towards me it will be the first time in your life a 17 year old beat your ass , now back the fuck off.

Well at the hotel downtown Atlanta I was told I was put on hold because I was 4 pounds under weight, fucking go figure. So for three days the army stuffed me with food.
Then on my way via train , and I had no idea what I was about to walk into.

I had started smoking pot around the age of 15 , that is before the scales got fucked up in the mid 80’s. I was living the dream , well what I thought was the dream. I tried to smoke all the weed in the world but I could never catch up.
The kicker was I managed to work and go to school. Although I knew a lot of people I had very few friends , that was mainly due to not trusting anyone.
You can learn so much from just watching and listening to your parents. It made me wonder why two people who seemed to hate each other so much would stay married.

I started people watching as a teen and I would just observe , and listen , wondering if their home life was as fucked up as mine. Little did I know this would help me read people.

Once out of the Army that is where my life really started to get out of control.
I was still smoking pot , my drinking was out of control and I was taking pills. You could hand me anything and I would take. I did not care what it was , I just wanted to get high.

My first job out of the Army was making parachutes for sky diving teams. The pay was awesome but my work ethics were not. That job was short lived. Missing work and the quality of my production.

The next year I jumper from minimum wage job to minimum wage job , trying to make ends meet.
Fired once again and now nearly homeless because I knew no one , I decided to head to Florida.

1989 I loaded my 1967 cougar GT and headed to Florida. Once in a hotel reading the local paper a job caught my eye. Maintenance engineer wanted industrial laundry , hmm now that sounds interesting.
So I spent the next few days putting my fake resume together. Instead of Air Defense in the Army , I was now an electrical Engineer who had worked at power plants.
I went to the interview, got the job and I gave a starting date of about three weeks later.

I spent the next three weeks getting cleaned up. I stopped drinking , no more pills , and no more weed dammit.
Standing on the beach at sunrise I came to the conclusion there has to come a time when you have to grow up. I was no longer 17 and I wanted more, and I knew there was more out of life than just getting fucked up.

A week into my new job the head engineer called me in the office , as I sat down he said you little lying fucker. All I could do is just sit there.
He looked at my resume and asked me if there was anything on the paper that was true, and my reply was my name and address.
I was thinking well here it comes but he said look I like you and I am going to keep you on but you will have to show you want to stay here and learn.
Three years later I was transferred to collegedale Tennessee as the head engineer of a industrial laundry facility. The only bad part was the facility sat right on a seventh day Adventist college. How fucked up can that be ?

I had never had so much pussy in my life , I was banging someone different every week.
Then came the day I was called in the office and I was questioned about my sexual activity which was really none of their business well besides being employees.

So shortly after I left and back to florida Back to daytona, still working for the same company but moved into a tracker trailer position, yup they sent me to truck driving school.

It did not take me long to realize I was against any type of manual labor, and my driving career was very short lived.

News paper add read Call Center Manager for major financial institution, hmm interesting. This meant new resume and a better one.

Us Army Director of Communications Ft Ord California , who were they going to call The base had been shut down, so I moved right into my office with about 350 employes under me. By this time the internet was alive and I spent hours researching my newly found job and spent the next 5 years there until the closing of the center.

The moral of the story above you can do anything. Just as Sir Richard Branson said , if your asked if you can do something , you always say yes then you learn how to do it.

Now on to Depression. I am not a medical Doctor nor am I am shrink , although I do believe many Dominants would make better shrinks. One thing we do well and very well is listen.

We not only listen we communicate very well , be it with our partner or out in the general public. As Dominants we tend to be in control more , not only with our emotions but our thoughts our anger, our surroundings.

We tend to be more in control , we love structure we love putting plans together. We love challenges, we love our minds being put through the test. I myself I crave solving problems, but like most Dominants we solve problems before they become a problem.
Putting something off becomes a problem so we or I handle things before hand.
I love being told I cant do something, I love being told something is impossible to do.

As Dominants we provide a stable environment, as Dominants we provide stability. As Dominants we provide structure, As Dominants we provide Love and communication. As Dominants we provide rules that will help structure ones life so our property may grow and continue to grow. As a Dominant we provide positive reinforcement. As a Dominant we provide advice and we solve problems.

Our role is just not in the bedroom, our role is not just about kink, our role is just not about punishing.
Our role as a Dominant is to lead and we have to earn enough respect so you will want to follow.

The CDC says An Estimated 1 in 10 U.S. Adults Report Depression.
I myself believe that number is probably twice if not three times higher,
the one in ten are those that are reported. I am sure there are many more that do not go report and people just live with suffering on a daily basis..

Okay so this is where some controversy is going to come into play and I am not trying to offend anyone here, and again this is just my opinion and I am basing my opinion on about 22 or 23 years in the lifestyle.

There are many who are submissive and slave who suffer from depression and other medical issues such as bi-polar , anxiety , it goes on and on, and most are on medications.
I did not say every submissive or slave so do not go putting words in my mouth, I said there are many.

The above is looking for everything I described above , the structure , security , the freedom of open communication , stability you get the picture.

If your Dominant suffers from any of the illnesses I mentioned , you are doing more harm to him than good. He has enough on his shoulders keeping his life straight without having to keep someone else in check.

As a Master who is Married to my Slave I now have two to look out for not just one. I make all of the decisions so what ever I decide effects both of us not just me.

A Dominant has to have the ability to think clear and be able to stay on a level emotional playing field.
Many Dominants who suffer from depression have a very low self esteem as with the novice Dominant I spoke about the other day.

The blog was I wish I was A Better Dominant.

Now if your in the relationship just for the kink, the sex and being spanked hey have at it, but a Dominant who suffers from depression can in noway provide a stable home with structure.

I have never at one time stated, Oh I wish I could be a better Dominant , I wish I was who you need. Those words have never come out of my mouth and they never will.

Adding that type of pressure to someone who has such an illness , is setting someone up for failure.

I am held accountable for my actions and I will admit my wrong doings. EH when and if it ever happens.
I am not cocky , I am no arrogant , I am not stuck on myself , I am confident.

If your looking to enter a D’s or M’s relationship and your looking for a Dominant that is one of the first questions you need to ask.
Do you suffer from any type of depression ? Do you have anger Issues ? Do you have drug or alcohol issues ?

If you the submissive or slave feels uncomfortable asking any of the above then you are not ready for a relationship.

If you suffer from any form of depression and your Dominant suffers from depression , how does that work ?

Those who do suffer from depression or even bi-polar you are not broken you just need a Dominant who has true patience. You need someone who is willing to dedicate enough time to allow you to grow.
You need someone who is going to understand your ups and downs. You need someone who is there to communicate with you , but knows when you need space.
Your in need of guidance and compassion , someone who understands you. More so someone who understands your limits, the train of thought pushing you over that edge.

Arianna had a break down right after we had met , but I knew if I invested time and I stuck with her through her bad times in the end it would pay off and today I am standing on top of the world.
I found Arianna a new doctor , a full change of meds and I go to her appointments with her and I speak up because I know she will not.

I have a very structured home, and to date we have not had an argument and that is due to our communication.

You need to change your game , before we would give someone three strikes and I see three strikes as being to many chances.

If you let someone run over you once they will do it again and again. If you let someone abuse you be it physical , mental or verbal they will do it again and again and again.

The new Dominant should be asking questions as well, your health , mental and physical. He should want to know everything about you inside and out.

In many cases sucking cock comes up first, do you take it up the ass ? Are you Bi ? Then you know your best interest is not in mind.

Depression effect people in different ways , but you all get those highs and lows, understanding you makes a huge difference.

You should want not only the world but everything on it.

You can be happy with depression in any relationship if you are in caring hands.

world2

Vile

12/1/2014 Depression And DSM

Posted in abuse, bdsm, control, Depressed, Depression, Dominants, Master, slave, submissive with tags , , , , on November 30, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I started this post a couple of days ago.

I am going to share some pretty  deep things about  me and my life growing up.

I’m going to share how I lost everything and fought back.

Life is not  easy but  in many ways we create our own path , we control  our own path , we create our own problems but we can eliminate them as well.

We clearly choose our path in life our own destiny.

We have so much control but we as humans are always looking for the easy way out.

Life is not difficult , we make it difficult,  we create  problems and expect  others to clean up our mess.

Those of you who suffer from depression your not broken, your in need of a little  guidance and a lot of love.  There are those who need someone in control and there is nothing wrong with that.

The key is being with someone  who truly cares about you and wants to see you grow.

My life as a kid was not easy. I grew up in a very broken home. I grew up in a very abusive  home.

It is okay if you make mistakes,  mistakes  make you grow. It is up to you not to make the same mistakes over and over.

Man on top of mountain.

Vile