Archive for the Discipline Category

BDSM And Discipline

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, consequences, Consistency, controlling, Discipline, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants, Ego, fucking and sucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, punish, Punishment, Slave, Structure, Submission, training your slave, Training your submissive, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….

My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a  physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.

Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?

Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened.  taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.

If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.

I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.

A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.

Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.

I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.

The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.

I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.

Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.

Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.

Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.

Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.

As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.

Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

Our Total Power Exchange

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, molding your slave, munchs, owned property, Owned Slave, Protocol public, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, training your slave, Training your submissive on June 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I searched for some two years for what I will call the perfect partner. I was extremely tired of settling for less when I knew a relationship was not going to work. Maybe I did it because of the companionship , a steady piece of ass , or maybe because I love a challenge I was hoping to take something impossible and make it work.

Here is where it gets somewhat tricky. As long as I can remember I have viewed women as objects , toys , here for service and pleasure. There is also another side to that statement. If you were not submissive Id id not try to push my beliefs on you nor would I try and change you.
I gave those the up most respect. Today I have females who are friends who are not in the lifestyle and I do not discuss the lifestyle in anyway. There are those who I have bent over backwards to help who are not in the lifestyle. So the above statement does not pertain to everyone.

I may not know everything and I have never claimed to know everything but I do know if you do not have a plan , if you do not have some kind of idea when it comes to the type of relationship you want, or the type of Baby Girl , submissive or slave it will never work. These are the people who settle for less. These are the Dominants who try to change someone into someone they are not and it never works. So he ends up exerting all of this energy and time to only find it has been wasted and the slave takes the blame.

Those who are new to the lifestyle are easy targets , they have this huge target on their shirt that says , Hi I am new and I am Gullible.

Although I have had 3 or 4 long term relationships , it was not until many years down the road that I realized I had not defined who or what I was.
Defining myself was a huge piece of the puzzle and without that piece I could never complete the puzzle.

While standing on the side of a canal one night thinking , Animel and I had just left a Chinese Buffet , where I met a woman who knew me but I did not know her and she was scared to death of me, I blogged about this before.

While thinking it hit me like an asteroid , WOW you stupid mother fucker you have had the last few pieces of the puzzle all along you just were not ready to complete it or maybe I was not ready.

I was more concerned about the next piece of ass , the next blow job , or who I could inflict pain on. I was a sadist for many years but I was not a Dominant. Mainly because I did not want that kind of responsibility , nor did I care , or maybe I did not have a clue.

So lets look at the three Basic types of Dominants , first is the Daddy Dom , I know of one I can say I respect and I believe their relationship is steadily evolving , into something more, John Brownstone. Most Daddy Doms are married and cheating. Most daddy Doms are not active in the local community due to the fact of being married, most do not impose rules or structure again because of the responsibility….

This is from a profile on Fetlife………. FInally I seek discreetion as I am married to a ultra-vanilla wife who has zero interest in the lifestyle and hope to eventually find my sub who knows she will be treasured.

Just how fucked up is this? His wife has no clue and as far as she knows everything is fine, and I am sure if she read his profile she would run. So my question is , why not just leave ? The remark She will be Treasured is a total lie because he will not be able to dedicate this time needed. Because when he is needed he will not be able to be there for her.

The Dominant who is Dominant but he is not in complete charge nor is he in control 100% of the time because his submissive has the right to say no even when it comes to following rules. The Dominant is only in charge when the submissive allows him to be in charge. The submissive will only follow rules when it is convenient or they are feeling submissive.

Those who do not live together do not have a clear understand of how a power exchange relationship works. This is because the Dominant clearly has no control over the relationship nor is the submissive able to submit on a regular basis. Training cannot be done and this is because Training has to be daily and consistent. It is not like a book where you read a few chapters , put it down and pick back up a week later.

Total Power Exchange..

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Total power exchange)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which “love” is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[2]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Slave Training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a Master or Mistress and a slave. The objective is to change the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.

Slave training can be a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master or Mistress (or Dominant). Training is usually defined in clear steps or lesson plans before it begins. The Master or Mistress teaches the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing the Master or Mistress. The slave, in return, derives pleasure from being able to please and serve the Master or Mistress. The slave may also be rewarded tangibly, such as with food, a bed, etc

Training is something I have believed in for sometime , and although in previous relationships there was training , it was nothing compared to the training Arianna went through. Maybe one reason is I was not really ready to settle down, or maybe I had never found the one.
To change ones behavior , the way someone talks, dresses , speaks as well as to others. Hair color, nail polish really everything. I mold to fit my needs. I mold to benefit the slave , my slave.
Every rule I have in place is to benefit Arianna not me, after all the relationship is to insure she is taken care of. I however do come first that includes eating.

I would suspect many relationships fail because there is not a clear understanding prior to entering a relationship. This is due to both trying to be politically correct in fear of not being accepted , or rejected. If both are not upfront about their needs in fear of losing a potential will still end in a total disaster.

A Kinkster is just Kinky , A submissive submits because it is a need but submits on their terms. A slave you needs a TPE relationship Total Power Exchange gives herself or himself because it is a need.
The TPE does not make one weak as most think , Arianna has a degree and has had the same employer for almost 16 years.

What people do not understand is everyone is different , everyone has different needs. Every Dominant , Daddy and Master are different but many times people are to quick to judge and tell others how they are doing it wrong.
The people telling others who are wrong are the ones who are fucked up. There is no BDSM bible and while there is a lot of literature on this subject you are reading someones opinion , just like what I write is my opinion.

Our TPE Total Power Exchange was worked out prior to entering a relationship , it was not something I was interested in but I felt we had enough in common to move forward and give it a try.

I control everything in our home , to include what Arianna wears , hair color , bed time and what time to wake, what she eats. Most of the time I leave cooking up to her but at times I tell her what I want to eat. While I am in full control of the finances I do let Arianna take care of that end, but I know where every penny is spent.

The relationship started out as consensual and today it is still consensual , through our communication and being open with each other , I am proud to say it has been almost 3 years and to date we still have not had an argument. I have not raised my voice nor have I called her any names out of anger.

I have a firm rule I follow , I never lose my temper towards the one who gets on their knees or lays on their back and takes what I have to give.

We are going through changes and our relationship is still continuing to grow, now Arianna is always looking for more ways to submit. As we grow and talk she still wants to dig deeper into her submission.
I will admit she does keep me on my toes and keeps me thinking. My question or thoughts are how deep can one go ? Is there an end or does one continue to travel deeper ?
Ia m going to implement more protocols that will be a reminder of who she is. Just as speaking in thirds which she has mastered , that is a reminder and today she does not even think about the way she is talking and is able to change once out in public.

Putting protocols in place provides structure, structure provides a stable relationship , and then comes communication.
I can say without a Doubt and in Honesty I run my house. I am head cheese , Head Honcho , the king and Emperor. That is something i had to earn it was not giving nor was it demanded , it was earned.

respect

Vile

I Feel Alone

Posted in Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, Bdsm friends, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, Being alone, being used, communication, compatibility, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Lies, MAST, Master And Slave, munchs, New age BDSM, Protocols, relationships, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive on March 31, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not speaking about my relationship With Arianna , I am speaking in general. I am obsessed with the TV The Walking Dead , and I wonder at times if something like that could really happen?

What I am getting at , I remember the very first Walking Dead , when the Deputy Rick had been shot and was in a comma. Once he woke up and started looking around he realized there were no people around. He walked outside and there was nothing no other humans.

Now I am not going off the deep end just in case your wondering , I am just sharing my thoughts. This is why many Dominant need that interaction at local munchs and MAsT groups so we can interact with those who have the same interest.

Here lately that has not been so easy. Arianna and I have attended several different functions and I have not clicked with anyone. I am not sure if it is a lack of differences , or a lack of how we view the lifestyle. I do know that over the past several years the lifestyle has moved more towards the kink side of things, than the what I call the standard BDSM flow. Being communication, structure protocol and rules , and then on to ownership.

I do at times find it difficult to trust people, I also find it difficult to sociable , but maybe that is just the lack of things in common. Going to different functions allows me to be me , and in hopes of communicating with others who have the same interest. What I do find is others bringing drama into a public setting and that is what the conversation is centered around….

I am still debating on filing for my own MAsT chapter , as of now I do have the support of another MAsT group and would give a good recommendation. It is just finding the right time. There is so much more I want to do , but with moving and getting set up , my new job and yes I consider being at a job for 8 months still new. It was not suppose to be as stressful as it is , but I do enjoy it.

Arianna pointed out several months ago , that some people find me to be intimidating , and I am not sure why unless it is my lack of joking around. She also brought it up that many think it is my way or no way. While I can see her side of things , that is not the whole truth. It comes down to a couple of things. If you portray yourself to be someone your not , if you lie , or if your bringing your problems or drama someplace that is meant to be educational , or if your abusive that is where I draw the line.

Arianna brought it up that I should try being nicer to people , be more open or receptive, and after giving it some thought for a while , I decided to give it a try.
I invited someone to my home , and even offered to take them out, as it turned out I had to work so Arianna met her and spent a great deal of time with. Now I invited with the intentions of just being friends nothing more. I made no out of the way advancements because Arianna was in the loop the whole time, and once the two started texting , I for the most dropped out of the picture, we still chatted on Facebook but it was just friendly chat.
I am more than positive Arianna was a good host, I am also sure Arianna was polite and friendly. So after going to a theme park , out to eat a couple of times, all communication stopped.
So one or two things happened , either I offended her or Arianna was not a good host and was not friendly , which I doubt was the case, at any rate this is the reason I distant myself from people , this is the same reason I have very few friends. This is why I do not allow myself to get close to anyone , because after it was all said and done , I felt as if I was used, no explanation or anything.

In the end it is all good though , I am in a good place and it is my own little world….

Before you start thinking , this is not a pity party because I do not roll like that, I am just expressing my feelings , on this part of life..

horse

Vile

Traits Of A Good Dominant

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Anger Issues, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Safety, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, control, Discipline, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, relationships, slave, Submission, submissive, TPE with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was looking back over the years the other day from a wild and crazy teen , joining the Us Army at 17 to get away from home, and I can pretty much remember every year except for the Carter Administration. I had joined the Us Army October 1979. When I left the house both parents were at work so there were no good byes. There were no letters back and forth , so I never showed up for mail call.
I had left behind a 100 friends who were not friends if that makes any sense. I never really got into any real bad trouble, I steered away from the trouble makers. I was young and doing my own thing. While others partied and smoked pot , I was tying girls up. At that time it seemed like the best alternative.

I have noticed since I have gotten older , I have not really changed much at all , Ive just changed my way of thinking. I grew up on the street so by the time I had turned 17 and joined the army I had street smarts. I could separate the bull shitters from the real.

I have zero tolerance for lairs I mean zero , none. If you lie to me we are done. Most people lie because they want something or they are hiding something.

I started washing dishes when I was 13 so I always had my own money even as my parents struggled. There struggle was drug addiction , and alcohol. Every 90 days or so one or the other would go into detox for 30 days and get clean. It was just a vicious circle that was never ending. I had just turned 21 and my real mother passed away from a drug overdose.
I remember my uncle calling me I was stationed in Korea and he asked if I was coming to help with the arrangements, and I thought for a second and I asked why would I do that , do what you gotta do man I hope it works out.

So I learned at a very early age you had to watch your own back because no one else was going to. I also learned early on that greed fed the human mind , I also found out greed is the down fall to many , but they want to put the blame on others. Family , Family are the ones you really have to watch out for. That does sound cold but we as humans have changed so much over the past 30 years. I saw it when my Grandfather passed away. He had not even left the hospital and they were going through his things and fighting over who got what. Like the movie , you have to learn to separate the good , the bad and the ugly.

While in school I was only in one fight. Fighting was something I never looked forward to, or never thought I would be in one. Fat fred is what he was called and he was fat and people were scared of him for what ever reason. One day while boarding the school bus Fat Fred tripped me while I was going to my seat. Once I got up I straddled him and I just started punching and punching and punching. The bus driver pulled over and had to pull me off of him.
Fat Fred spent a week in the hospital. I had broken his nose , his jaw and his eye socket was ruptured. That was the end of my fighting career , after that I never had a problem with anyone. I never understood it but his parents never wanted to press charges, maybe they knew he was a dick.

So where am I going with all of this rubbish , well I am in the learning stage. I spend my time learning and watching and listening.

Honesty I learned early on honesty is the best medicine , if your honesty people will respect you even if they do not like you.
Some years ago I drove a Tractor Trailer , one of the drivers who switched with me brought a truck back in as he was backing to the Doc , the supervisor met the driver and asked him what happened to the trailer door it was destroyed. The driver make the comment Vile did it. James my supervisor looked at the driver and said Vile did not do that , I know this because he would of told me.

A good Dominant can communicate and will do so on all levels. A good Dominant will all you his property to communicate as well and again on all levels. With communication comes with having the ability to listen and communicate your feelings or your thoughts

A Good Dominant is loyal even if he is in a Poly relationship because all parties know of everyone. A good Dominant is loyal and will remain.

A good Dominant is able to provide structure and make his property feel secure. He will provide structure to keep his home is good balance without any disruptions.

A good Dominant wants his property to succeed in life he will set goals and insure they are completed and help when needed.

A good Dominant is in full control of not only himself but his home and surroundings. He is level headed and thinks things through before acting. A good Dominant knows his actions not only effect him but his house as well.

A good Dominant again is in full control going in a different direction this time. He is in control of his temper, he is in control of his anger and he is not abusive , be it mental, physical , or verbal. An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts.

A good Dominant will respect your limits , while at times limits will be pushed one must know and respect when you have had enough.

A good Dominant will put you first above anything in his life. You should be all that matters. You know even today I still receive some 50+ text a day from Arianna. It does not matter what I am doing whom I am with I take time to respond, by not responding in a timely manner I find it to be very disrespectful and uncaring.
I am sorry I was to busy to text you, really how long does it really take to pick up your phone and send a text msg ?

Now the above statements could go with any relationship as well , be it a vanilla , Domestic Discipline , or if you venture off into the world of BDSM. The bottom line is if you do not have those core values in any relationship it will not work. It seems over the years we have lost much of our values as a society , now it is mostly dog eat dog even when it comes to our families.

One thing you as a submissive or slave has to remember , you are the one who has to adapt to your new Dominant. You are the one who has to follow rules but rules within reason.. You yourself has a lot to do with the relationship working. You have to have that mindset when entering a new relationship , and you have to remember every Dominant is different , every Dominant has a different way of doing things , as well as different rules and standards.

trust

Vile

Life II Arianna BDSM

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Choices, commitment, communication, consequences, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Forced Submission, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

This was a blog my Slave Arianna posted about life and the curve balls that can be thrown at you.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

At times it seems life is not fair , it seems someone is always out to get you or nothing goes right , but when everything seems like it is just falling into place and things are running smooth , you are just waiting for that curve ball.

The key to life is living by the truth , doing what is right , treating others as you want to be treated , and avoid taking short cuts trying to beat the system. Last but not least remaining loyal to the one you love and the one who loves you.

We , meaning Arianna and I truly have no problems , we have zero drama in our life. Being in control of your life and keeping those out who want to try and poison you , again meaning anyone who wants to try and disrupt what you have.

Sometimes it is hard because at times you may even have to cut family off. There are those who feed off of drama , they need drama in order to live. These people are poison and poison does not enter my door.

I am not going to feed into your pity party , I am not going to feed into your oh poor me , I cant do anything right. If you know there is a problem , you know what the problem is, FIX IT..

Now if you come to me and say Vile I have a problem and I don’t know how to fix it will you help me , that is something I may consider.

I have spoken before about our Bubble , how we built a bubble to keep all the negative out , keeping all the drama out , other peoples problems , and those who try to disrupt what we have. I am very protective when it comes to my home and my wife and slave.

Sometimes Arianna and I will be out and a homeless person will approach us looking for money and 99% of the time I say no. Arianna ask me if I feel sorry for them and my answer is NO. We choose our own road , we choose our own path.

I may seem cold or heartless but I have learned over the years you have to protect your own because no one else will. The only one who has your back is the one who loves you , your partner. Many times today you cannot even depend on your own family , if they do offer to help you need to be able to give something in return.

Even being a Dominant there are rules in life we have to follow , we follow them to insure ours is taking care of, our home and family. When we start trying to take short cuts is when we fail.

The key is the Truth and only the Truth, if you tell the truth , you do not have to try and remember what you said. Telling a lie is something you have to keep covering up.. Just like someone who cheats , or abuses someone it never ends, not telling the truth is a never ending lie.

Life consist of two things and both have a powerful effect on our life, one being the choices we make , two being the consequences. Both have a huge impact on our life , and the decisions we make can either go the way we want , or we can crash and burn.

It is much different being in a Dominant role in a 24/7 relationship. Now we have two to think of instead of one. Our actions effect both now.

Just as the Submissive or Slave , the Dominant has to have an idea of what his life would be like with a partner. How he see’s his relationship. He has to have an idea of what type of submissive he is looking for.

The number one rule , Be careful what you ask for. That statement is very deep, because it gives you something to think about.

You the Dominant has to know how much responsibility you want to take over , you have to decide what type of protocols you want to put in place. You have to decide how much control you want handed over to you. You notice I have not mentioned rules yet.

Rules are meant to improve ones life, to help restructure , your taking old habits and creating new ones , good ones. It is impossible to give a submissive or slaves rules without knowing them on a personal level which does not include sex.

Once you agree to enter a relationship and you lay out your guidelines and what you expect, there is no turning back, it cannot be done, I have been there done that, and your relationship will fall apart and there will be no turning back.

Arianna’s post was very interesting , the thing is I know Arianna and I know the way she thinks. I watch and I observe on a daily basis. I keep the communication open and I make sure she talks to me, but then again I know when she needs to be left alone, I know when to let things ride for a while…. Knowing when to let something be until there is a better time will go along way in your relationship, instead of just trying to dig and dig and before you know it your at each others throat.

You can intimidate someone enough and they will submit out of fear and they will submit most of the time, but you have just wasted so much time and what you have is a bag of a lot of nothing.
You want your submissive or slave to give, you want them to have the need to kneel in front of you, with no shame.

A D’s Or M’s relationship runs way deeper than Fifty Shades Of Grey. Fifty shades shows one thing and that is kink and only kink. It does not explain what a true D’s or M’s relationship is about. It is really sad

cuffed

Vile

The Truth About Daddy Dominants

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Collar, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Fake Dominants, fuck buddy, kinky, Local events, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Daddy

Vile