Archive for the Disrespect Category

You Should Not Bash Your Dom

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, consequences, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Guidelines, Humiliation, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, morals, Protocol, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive on July 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My Dom is not treating me right, my Dom is an Ass , my Dom does not know what hes doing, my Dom is abusing me.

You know what happens behind your doors should stay behind your doors. What goes on between two should stay that way. It is no ones business.

What makes things worse it may not even be the Dom’s fault. Maybe you don’t like the way hes doing something, or rules he has put in place , or it may even be a punishment you don’t agree with or you think is to harsh.

Then pissed off and you start looking for a new Dominant or Master, giving false information, making your Dom out to be the bad guy.
The truth is most men will take the word of a female when it comes to abuse. I always say there is two sides to every story.

So your out here running off at the mouth and your Dom does not have a clue, your making him out to be the bad guy.

The Doms your talking to , the whole thing is starting out as a lie. The abuse, the lack of communication, the disrespect, the humiliation. When in fact none of it is true.

Here they have tried to start up a few submissive groups, but they never worked, because they just turned into huge bitch sessions…

Now tell me when you put a group of women together, and they start talking trash, do you really believe that no one is not going to say anything?

If you sit down and think the next time you don’t agree with something your Dom has implemented, maybe instead of bitching to other people, you just sit down and think about why he did something.

Maybe you needed stricter rules ,maybe you needed your ipad taking away from you, or your laptop. Maybe you needed more structure.

You need to sit and look back where you were at prior to entering the relationship. I would be willing to be in most cases there was a 100% turn around. I would be willing to bet you are in a much better place.

If you tell a Dominant your being abuse, and your not he will probably believe you.

You should be able to communicate with your owner. and if your not happy with the rules and protocols, you should of thought about that before entering the relationship.

On the other hand if your seeing a Married Dominant and your not getting what you need, then you need to just suck it up..

Vile

Some Dominants Act Like Hitler

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, books, Conform, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Master, Master And Slave, Pain, punish, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, submit with tags on July 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One thing you will never see me do is bad mouth another Dominant , I may not agree with the way he runs his house, or controls his property , but that is strictly between him and his property.
Someone told me a couple of weeks ago , she said you don’t like my Daddy. I said no that is not it I do not respect him. I have never met him, he could be the biggest douche bag in the world, I could still like him, but I could never respect.

There is not one set of rules on how a house is ran. There are no books that can tell you how to run your house. There are how ever opinions, and they are just that opinions.

What works for one Dominant will not work for another. What works for one submissive will not work the same for another, this applies more towards a slave, the M’s relationship runs so much deeper.

When it comes to training every sub or slave has different needs, although you may be able to use some information out of a book, I can almost guarantee you will not be able to run your house by the manual.

I have read books in the past, and they were absolutely no help to me , I was not able to learn anything new or anything I could use. Are these books wrong? No they are someones opinion, what works for them will not work for everyone.

Arianna’s old Dominant had what he called Law infractions, misdemeanors, and felony’s , which I think is pretty cool, the wordage that is, but to show her what the punishment would feel like just to be showing. A Felony included pussy slapping but pretty extreme. While I do believe in rules, and they should be enforced a submissive or slave should not have to live in fear.

This brings me back to the ego minded 128 rules , you will have to memorize and repeat back to me word for word. Get the fuck out. If a Dominant tells you that you have to learn the rules word for word ask him if he can. One thing I learned long ago to earn and keep respect you never tell someone to do something you cannot do.

If you just sit around and wait on a rule to be broken, your relationship will go nowhere fast. You can cause enough stress and the sub or slave will breaks rules without even wanting or meaning to..

The abuse runs much deeper though, not only the physical , but the mental side of abuse, abuse that is so bad it caused a beautiful 22 year old girl to take her own life. To think if you just checked out, you would be in a much better place. Someone like many just trying to find the right one.

There is a clear difference in a Dominant being confident, and a Dominant who is ego driven. The difference is the way you are treated.

The married Dominant will not treat you very well, mainly because you are disposable if you leave he still has Momma, and Momma is not going anyplace he will make sure of that.

Those who are fueled by their ego will never change Dominant ,Master Or Mistress, things will never change..

leash

Vile

Guest Blogger Today. Husband Abuse vs. submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Advice, Argue, bdsm, controlling, Disrespect, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, married, Safe and Sane, self confidence, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , on July 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know in two years since the start of Thekinkyworldofvile , I have never had a guest blogger, the truth is I had never really given it much thought.

Much of my blog is about abuse,I am against any type of abuse be it verbal, physical, or mental, and yes to the almighty married men who cannot run their own home.

Recently My dear friend Franco Bolli here on wordpress and several other men brought up the subject about men being abused , and I have witnessed it first hand but never gave it much thought..

I was in the car business I worked as a salesman, and now that I look back on the last couple of years.
I was selling a Dodge Ram Pickup to a man , he was like 10k upside down, looking at a 47.000 truck. Well I said what kind of payments are you looking at ?
He then said I want the truck for 38.000 out the door, god I hate stupid people. So where did you come up with that number ? He said that is just a number I had in my head. I said well I am guessing there are more numbers in your head somewhere.
So I asked do you have a payment goal ? Yes I do 450 a month. so I said even if I could do 38.000 out the door, if you divide 38.000 by 72, that is about 527 a month and you have not even added interest.
So I get up I go into the tower and I come back and I sit down. Okay your truck is worth 29500 and you still owe 39000.
Well Kelly Blue book says its worth 36000, I said fine call kelly blue book and get them to cut you a check.
so when it was all said and done, his payments were going to be around 850 a month.

His wife blew the fuck up. I told you, you stupid mother fucker, you are so fucking ignorant, I never should of married you, it went on and on and on, then she slapped him in the head.
So he comes back in and says hey I am sorry my wife blows up every now and then. I was like man don’t tell me your sorry, your the one sleeping with her.
That was something that happened often, and I just shake my head.

So anyway Mel contacted me and told me what she had witnessed first hand, and that she had written a story about it. So I asked her if she would like to be a guest Blogger, I am not sure where that came from, but hey it is a good idea.
Here is her wordpress a lot of interesting things, you will enjoy.

http://pushingourlimits.wordpress.com/tag/pussy-spanking/

Yea I started off on the page about pussy spanking, so enjoy.

Husband Abuse vs. submission

I witnessed an arguement between a couple recently in the grocery store parking lot. With my son.

They were in the space next to the one I chose with their windows rolled down, and I was unfortunate enough to hear some of the worst verbal abuse I’ve ever heard. If I’d still been in the drivers seat when I heard it, I would’ve started my car and moved spaces. Though, it was a great teaching moment for my little man.

As we were walking in, the man got out of the car, calling the woman a few bad names, and slamming the door. He then stood outside of the car, hitting the roof and roaring, wordlessly at her.

There were plenty of other patrons staring, and as I ushered my almost first grader into the store, I felt so sorry… Not for that woman, but for him. And for all of the other people around me who didn’t understand the REAL abuse that happened prior to his outburst.

Before his shouting and her tears, before almost anyone noticed them, that woman beat down her man with the vicious skill of a practiced abuser. She pummeled him with quiet, but scathing words until he simply could not sit and take it any longer.

When I opened my car door, I heard her say she was glad she’d cheated on him and that she would do it again. Since he wouldn’t fuck her, she found someone who would. Then, methodically, she went over all the reasons he deserved it. She jabbed him about his weight, seared him about his job, mocked him for his social skills, and just before we were out of earshot, she harassed him again about his lack of desire for her.

The man was not more than a few pounds overweight, and honestly, I was surprised when I saw her inside later, because she truly had no room to comment on his weight. They were in a very new car and both had on lovely clothes, so I cannot imagine his job was that terrible. I can’t attest to his social skills, but I’m quite sure that any social awkwardness he had was only amplified by her negativity.

And I certainly could understand not wanting to get intimate with a woman who emasculates you constantly.

Honestly, I can’t imagine this was a random occurrence. He followed her around the store looking like a beaten puppy. And while it sickens me that any man would put up with that, I also feel sorry for him. Because it truly is a form of abuse.

I know women do this. I know they believe they are justified in tearing their men apart because they aren’t perfect. I understand the draw to hurt the person whose inability to meet her needs, hurts her. Calling him names, showing him all the ways he fails, listing all the things he is already insecure about… In an effort to prove to him that he needs to change… Never once thinking about the damage these insults cause and how they never work to improve or enlighten…

It is so sad.

Yes, men do the same. And it’s considered verbal or mental abuse. But, for some reason, it is rarely considered abuse when women do it.

She’s a nag. She just complaining. She belittles him, but it’s ok, because she does it under the guise of wanting to help him. Or the worst, he deserves it.

People feel sorry for her.

And so this man gets the double whammy of not only being abused, but is looked upon as the abuser.

I’ve been guilty of emasculating my man in this way. I’m not a horrible nag, in fact, I’m really easy to please and demand very little. But, at the beginning of this journey toward submission, I basically dropped my unhappiness in my husband’s lap and told him to fix it. I believed he needed to change and laid responsibility on him to do so.

I recognized, after a lifetime of denying it, that I truly wanted my husband to rule our home, including my life and body. I no longer had any desire to lead, and felt that he should simply grab the reins.

Had I not spent a decade taking away every decision and bending him to MY will, he may have easily done so. I recognize the irony in my own arrogance, that I could somehow dominate him into dominating me. I realize how little I actually understood about my OWN submissive desires back then. I see how it must’ve felt and sounded to a man who was happy with his marriage and life, and honestly did not have a clue that his wife wasn’t.

When he couldn’t or wouldn’t “step up” and “take over”, I belittled him to no end… just not to his face. On my blog, in my mind, to his mother, my sisters, anyone who would listen. And though I struggle to use my voice with him directly, that is all still a form of abuse. Surely, he could feel that venom of my resentment, even if I never openly spoke those biting words to him. It was certainly present in my attitude and demeanor.

Then, some things changed this year. I enjoyed a clear glimpse of what praise, adoration and respect could do for a man. I find it easy to build people up, and wondered what would happen if I tried to do that with my husband. Would he respond the same as others have? Could I set aside my expectation and just submit?

I’ve read a lot about marriage, submission and ridding oneself of resentment (cited at the bottom of this post). I’ve pushed myself to communicate more (though I’m still horrible at it). I’ve gained clear perspective of how my submission actually enhances my husband’s natural dominance. I work every day to take what he says literally and never over-analyze his actions (he’s a simple man, he says what he means and does what he says).

I no longer feel unloved, unwanted or unimportant. He is stronger and much more in control. He sees how it affects me which only feeds it. He sees me. Like he’s never seen me before. Because I don’t hide behind “wearing the pants”. Because I need him him to wear them.

And he is. He is taking care of me.

Suddenly, my marriage feels safe and comfortable. No, it is not perfect. But it will probably take a long time to undo what I “trained” him to be. It is a process.

It is like healing abuse.

There are lots of ways women abuse men. Vile’s recent post about Gold Digging was a great example. My testimony above of the verbal abuse I witnessed is probably the most common. Some are far more subtle. But they cause pain or discomfort, and most are clearly intentional.

Withholding sex, denial of other basic needs, ignoring or refusing to communicate, intimidation, threatening false accusations, making false accusations… I could go on. Basically all the tools women use to control men, they are, in fact abusive. The fact that men “shouldn’t put up with that shit” doesn’t change that.

Women react to any sort of stress with fear, it is our predetermined go to emotional response. The matching male response is shame. And the two can feed off each other, creating stress upon stress, forever.

The interesting thing is, the fear response is easier to control. In my personal experience, and through the books I have read (which I will cite below), it is evident that when a women actively prevents herself from contributing to the stress that causes her husband (or any man) to feel shame, her own fear is dampened and sometimes eliminated.

We are sort of programmed to make others feel good, it’s in our chemical makeup, we get a hormonal high off of it. That high makes us feel safe. Even before there is any sort of response from our man.

When you abuse a man, contribute to his shame in any way, his chemical makeup responds with aggression. Abuse leads to abuse.

No abuse is acceptable.

But certainly, lashing out against your abuser is understandable.

In my opinion, I think a very solid majority of failing marriages could be saved by some level of submission by the wife. I know there are lots of relationships out there with a submissive husband and Dominant wife, and I don’t belittle those relationships at all, I know they work and those couples are very happy.

I’m simply using this equation because, in my research, our familial roles are set by our gender. Chemically, biologically and historically.

When a woman decides not to refuse her husband sex, praises him for his successes and achievements instead of demeaning him for his failures, respects his decision making abilities and even relies on them, consistently, and actively gives, pleases and appreciates, effectively submitting to his leadership, guidance and natural role as the “Head of Household”, these changes within her create significant changes within him.

I’m at the front of this process, deciding within the last two months to truly surrender to my husband, instead of expecting him to exert his dominance over me. It has been enlightening. My submission blooms within me, every day. And in turn, he has truly begun taking care of me. As I slather on the praise and adoration, the more he steps up to the plate.

I am a masochist and he is definitely no sadist, but the more I accept what he can offer, appreciate it and revel in it, he seems to delve just a bit deeper and push his own limits without the demands and pleading that I wasted the last year filling his mind with. (Though I do still beg a lot… just in a different context).

Submission means letting go of expectations. Submission means allowing your path to be carved out by someone else. Submission means handing over control.

Surrender means abandoning oneself completely. It’s not about you. It’s about him.

But trust me when I say, when you make it about him, he’ll make it about you… times 100.

Remember what I said about women being programmed to make others feel good? Well, when you succumb to that and do it regularly, his natural response will be taking care of YOU. That will become his top priority.

At least that is how it’s worked out for me, so far. And it is Really. Very. Nice.

The books that I’ve read and am reading that helped me figure out a lot of the things I discussed above:

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide for Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It
Becoming the Woman of His Dreams

Vile & Mel

argue

I Have Never Abused

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, Living Poly, Living Triad, Master, Master And Slave, poly, Polyamory, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock on July 7, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Abused in the physical , I have never hit a woman, nor have I called a woman names out of anger.

Even today as I was ousted from a group on Facebook, by a female, all because she did not like me sharing my point of view about something.

Now I have used in a sense to get what I wanted. When I was younger and I was not ready to commit, I used.

The one thing I can say is I never entered a relationship giving any false hopes. I made it clear from the start I was not there for the long haul.

As many of you know there are a few things I am totally against, Married men who step out of their marriage for sexual satisfaction.
Men who physically abuse women.
Men who verbally abuse woman.
Men who humiliate out of anger.
Men who abuse mentally.

If you are a man in a poly relationship, and your wife is there with you I am all for you man.
If you are a man who is a Triad and it is working , my hat goes off to you. You are the man.

A man with anger issues has no place within our world, a man who lies has no place in our world.

The problem many have is they step into our world and they do not have a clue. nor do they wish to hear anything because they are armed with a trash bag with a few toys and the Book Fifty Shades Of Grey. Now the new found Dominant is ready to embark on new travels.

Before entering a relationship, and your sitting at what I call a powwow, this is the time you both lay your cards out on the table. This is the time you both share your needs and what is expected out of the relationship.
When I lay my cards out, I refuse to bend on anything, by doing this it assures me I am getting everything I need out of the relationship.

This is the time to be honest. This is also the time to make sure you are both looking for the same thing in a relationship.

I am the Dominant you will obey me, I have the final say. Sure you do as long as you don’t get stupid. If you put your home in jeopardy then the submissive has the right to step up and say hey your getting stupid here and it needs to be fixed.

I know a Daddy Dom who is 60 or 61 who has a submissive some 40 years younger who is having to live with his daughter because he cannot hold a job. I am sure this was not part of the cards he put out on the table. I am more sure he painted a total different picture.
If you cannot take care of yourself, how in the fuck are you going to stand and say you own someone?

The good news is with the right chemistry , and the need, along with communication. Your relationship can rock.

Listen to this two years and not one argument not one that means not 1. I have not raised my voice. Okay I shake my head a lot, like wow did you just do that.

I am telling you a Dominant does not have anger issues, a Dominant is not looking for self pity. A Dominant is not looking for the pat on the back.

If you allow a man to degrade you,scream at you, call you names out of anger, and you still spread your legs. That means one of two things, One in some sick way you get off on it, which is perfectly fine. Or 2 you just don’t care.
If you allow a man to beat on you, and you still spread your legs for him, read the above.

It took me years to learn how to control my anger, my anger as in my partner, she spreads for me. I posted a few days ago I do have a temper just not when it comes to my property.
I refuse to let anyone walk over me, I refuse to let anyone disrespect me.

I treat people the way I expect to be treated, if you cannot do that you can suck my dick.

You can break a bitch into submission, but what do you have?
Last a Drunk Mans Words Is A Sober Mans Thoughts

Vile And Arianna

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Slave Is High Maintenance, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, An Owned Slave, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Be who you are, Being fucked, being used, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Dominant Switch, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, fifty shades of grey, fuck hole, fucking, Married Dominant, Master And Slave, Protocol, punish, Punishment, sex, sex slaves, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive on June 1, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

train62 Someone had made the comment that some did not agree with our relationship. I am going to assume that you do not agree because you do not understand, maybe you do not want to understand, but you still look down on such a relationship. That being said , it just means you do not have a full understanding of BDSM, or maybe your just that closed minded.

There are many things I do not understand, for one I do not understand the male switch, how he can be dominant, then submit to someone else in front of his submissive , or how a Master could submit to someone else in front of his slave, that is one. Two I do not understand how married men go behind their wife and fuck someone else. Three I do not understand how a single female could see a man who is married and not care about wrecking what she has worked so hard to build. Four I do not understand how so many can allow so much drama into their life and complain about it on a daily basis but still live it. Five I do not understand men who abuse women verbally , mentally , and physically maybe its because it makes them feel more like a man…  So there are many things I do not understand, nor am I able to comprehend. One thing I do though is speak my mind. One thing I do is share the truth.

I am not a man who has to hide my relationship, nor do I have the need to search out other women to get gratification , nor do I have to search for women to abuse. I do not need more flavor in my life, nor do I have to live behind a lie, sneak around watching behind my back. Having to delete my text messages.

So Arianna had been looking for a Master, not a Dominant or a Daddy but a Master. I myself had been looking for a slave, not a submissive or a Baby Girl. A Slave.

Arianna had met two who claimed to be Masters, one left her bruised for almost three weeks, badly bruised, and went back for seconds hoping things would get better. She saw another Master who abused her both physically and mentally, playing head games, losing his temper yelling at her making threats. That is noway to live and be happy.

We met and we talked and Arianna expressed her needs, not wants. She explained she needed micromanagement , she explained she needed a relationship with no rights, only the rights she was giving, she explained she needed all freedom taken away, she explained she needed to give up full control. Arianna explained she needed rules and protocols to be in place and enforced. She explained she needed structure and trust. Yea it was a pretty deep conversation.

Although I wanted a long term relationship, and I was looking for a slave. I was looking for someone who was very docile, an introvert. Someone who would follow a few rules, a fuck toy, a piece of ass. Someone to use when I wanted to. Then kinda like putting them away in a closet. That is what I was looking for and nothing more.

So it was I who had to decide if I wanted the type of relationship Arianna wanted, it was I who had to decide if I wanted to take on that much responsibility , it was I who had to think if I wanted to be that consistent , enforcing rules, and protocols.  It was I who had to decide if I wanted that much responsibility.

Now unlike many Arianna does have one right, and that is the right to question me if she feels things are not going right. One thing she has the right to is to insure I have her best interest in mind. Many of you are not allowed that type of communication, or your just simply told what ever to appease you at that moment and time. Many are not allowed to question your relationship status, or many of you fear asking afraid of being dumped. Many of you are afraid your Dominant is not going to leave his wife. Many of you are told his wife does not care what he does, but you are only hearing one side of the story. Many of you go days at a time with out hearing from your Dom, many of you spend your birthdays alone and do not even receive gifts.

So many of you think Arianna has it so so bad, many of you think she is abused, or not treated well, or fairly, or treated with the respect she deserves.

We are Master and Slave, we are not Dominant and Submissive or Daddy and Baby girl.  We live a true M’s relationship and our way has worked for over two years and it continues to get better as each day passes.

There are very few relationships like the way we live I know this, there are very few who could life a true M’s relationship, there are even fewer who would want such a relationship.

I am totally against any type of abuse when it comes to women. Many of you are in non consensual relationships, because your partner is married. You only consent because you are willing to settle for less. When you settle for less that is exactly what you get so you have no reason to complain, or sit around and pout because you have not heard from your married Dom, who cannot even control his own house, because if he could he would not be fucking you.

Many of you are punished when there is no reason, because you were not able to send videos of you masturbating so he could jack off, or you did not send nude pics of yourself. Wow

Many of you are in relationships with the fifty shades of grey Dominants who do not have the slightest fucking clue. They see the visual and nothing more. You cannot read a fucking book put it down and say I am a Master it does not work that way.

I Vile am living the dream, and you could be too. I am married to my wife, my slave , my slut and my whore. She is my all and anything I want her to be, but do not think for one minute I do not have to give 150% back, because at times it is much much more.

If you do not understand then ask.

It was Arianna who said. Will you except me as your Slave?

 

Our Triad Search Continues

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, Disrespect, Dominant, Living Poly, Living Triad, poly slaves, slave, submissive on May 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

We have not really been looking that long , so we are still doing a lot of talking about it. We talk about how things should be and what we expect.

We had met a slave well not in person but a slave who lived a distance from us. She is truly incredible and all and more a Master could ever want. She was someone who has been a slave for a very long time, she is someone who is true to the lifestyle, and a Master would be honored to own her.

As I stated before the Triad is not about me or or me needing more flavor, it is about Arianna. Arianna having someone who can step in and help, to be best friends, go out and do things. To become part of the family, someone who needs to belong to a family where she is cared for, someone who has the need to want to serve.

Okay so the slave we had been in contact with as I stated she is a real slave, but when we first started talking, I made it clear. It is not I that you have to get to know, well not yet, it is Arianna. The Slave must become friends with Arianna, I am not talking about kissing her ass or being someone your not, but the two will have to live together. The truth is Arianna was not able to feel that bond, she did not feel that connection, and when she explained it to me I understood.

Now I run my house, I have full control over what happens and what does not. In the end I have full say so over who enters our home and who does not. It would not be fair to Arianna for me to say okay this slave is moving in, you suck it up and deal with it. I know I speak about consistency , but I do not need  to be constantly  breaking up arguments or trying to keep peace between two slaves, or a slave and submissive. I also have to look out for Arianna, I am her Husband , Master and protector.

So Arianna asked me. Master what type of slave or submissive would you want to consider ? Hmm well someone who has the need to serve, someone who would become your best friend. Someone who is Docile, an introvert so to speak. Someone who needs to follw direction, rules and protocols. Someone who wants the security of knowing they are cared for. Someone who wants to unit with two to make three. Someone who want stability, someone who is treated fair and with respect. Someone who wants and needs communication. Someone who wants to be told the truth. There are a lot of someones. You would think I am asking for a kidney but it will come I am sure. If it does not then it was not meant to be.

I am not going to bring someone into my home who is going to disrupt what I have worked so hard to build. I am not going to bring someone in who is going to disrupt Ariannas life.

Vile

The Fake Fifty Shades of Grey

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Anal Training, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Definitions, being used, blog, blow job, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominant, Dominants, Drama, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, fifty shades of grey, Humiliation, Married Dominant, masochist, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, punish, Punishment, relationships, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 29, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

2011 year of the Dominant. 50 shades of grey was published. The book sold some 70 million worldwide and blindfold sales increased as well.

 

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Fifty Shades Of Grey)

Fifty Shades of Grey is a 2011 erotic romance novel by British author E. L. James. It is the first installment in the Fifty Shades trilogy that traces the deepening relationship between a college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and a young business magnate, Christian Grey. It is notable for its explicitly erotic scenes featuring elements of sexual practices involving bondage/discipline, dominance/submission, and sadism/masochism (BDSM). Originally self-published as an ebook and a print-on-demand,[1][2] publishing rights were acquired by Vintage Books in March 2012.[3][4]

There is much that has been left out. I read a little bit of the first book, and if your into reading a fantasy book then good, but it seems to many have taking it from a fantasy to reality, and not really having a clue.

The physical contact when it comes to BDSM is only about 5%, the other 95% is mental.  To be able I want to word this correctly  , to be able to be a Dominant you have to be able to get into the submissive’s or slaves head. You have to be able to stimulate their mind.We have to get to know the submissive or slave inside out. We need to know what truly makes them tick. We need to understand their emotions, we need to understand when they are having a bad day, we need to understand that when they are not communicating we need to communicate to put the submissive at ease. We need to make the submissive know we as Dominants will make everything alright.

I am not sure where or how the depression aspect plays a part, but I do know from my past experience most who are slaves or submissive suffer from some type of depression. I could not make this statement if I had only met two or three slaves , I could not make this statement if I had only met 9 or 10 submissive’s  Over the past twenty years or so I have met hundreds. Most were very dear friends. Then there were the handful that I used, even then I knew something was not right but I did not care enough to even think that something maybe wrong.

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To really get to know the submissive we have to take a walk, we have to be able to get into the brain, we so to speak. We have to be able to open every door at each section and have a full understanding of what makes the submissive tick. We have to know what makes them think the way they do, what makes the submissive like or dislike the things they do. We have to understand their limits , we also have to understand when it is time to stop.

Most who are looking for the one, will bend over backwards to please. Most will take what ever you have to dish out just to please, but if your not inside their head you have no idea the amount of damage you may be doing, and they may have no idea either, until the after. I believe this is when sub-drop is most noticeable. I believe this is when the depression really kicks in. For the most I myself believe sub-drop is preventable through proper care. Most of the time when sub-drop is present it is because the two do not live together, or the submissive is not getting the attention they need. Sub-drop does not always occur after play, you can experience sub-drop even if your alone.

If you meet a submissive who is on medication for depression or any other illness it is very important to find out why they are taking it, what its for, then you research the different meds they are taking.

I know for instance Arianna has limitations when it comes to play, so I stay away from those gray areas. I know exactly how far I can push and I know exactly when to stop. We as dominants never want to push one to that limit.

So its like you knock on the forehead you open the door and you begin your travels, your going to walk through many doors, and your going to spend a lot of time in each room, so you are able to gain information, you will want to know what makes each room tick, what makes them think the way they do.

This is why I preach to those who are new to the lifestyle if you start out having sex then that is all you have. If you do not live together you are not grasping the true means of living a D’s or M’s lifestyle. Your getting a couple of hours a week or month in a motel room, or the dominant is coming over to your apartment. You are experiencing the sexual side and nothing more. The truth is there is still another 95% you have not touched.

Being a Dominant is not about barking orders, it is not about suck my cock or get on your back, it is not about anal training while your on your webcam , or sending video with your phone. That is not BDSM

Breaking down the four letters BDSM which you probably already know but many are missing the one word that means the most. B= Bondage. Sado= someone who enjoy giving pain, someone who enjoys humiliation. Humiliation comes in many shapes and forms. Someone who many times will push your linits to far and not really care as long as they get off. Masochism = someone who enjoys receiving pain someone who enjoys humiliation, someone who enjoys being used and pushed past their limits. I am sure there are things I left out but the one word I left out, is the one thing you are or most are missing out on D = Discipline

Disciple also comes in many forms and again it is not about barking orders, it is not about making up rules as you go, it is not about punishing, in fact if you the Dominant are in full control, punishment is far and few. The last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule, or disappoint you. That is the greatest humiliation they can experience.

D= Discipline does not have to mean punishing you, because you rolled his socks up wrong, or you forgot to send a video of your anal training, or fucking your ass with a dildo so he can jack off. D= Discipline means the Dominant is in full control. He is in control and not controlling. He is in full control of his daily life, he is drama free, he is problem free. If the Dominant is not in full control of his life, how in the fuck can he control you. Telling you to suck his cock, or prepare your ass to be fucked is not Discipline.

Arianna met a Dominant one time and he told her he wanted to go back to his place so he could start her training by sucking his cock. She did decline his most gracious offer.

Those four letters BDSM run so much deeper, those four letters have a definition that never ends, because I do not believe you can ever learn everything or experience everything. The learning aspect of those four letters never end.

Now to all of you 50 shades wannabes or you dudes who just want to abuse and use, or you are married and your wife wont suck your cock so you find someone who will.

I am living the DREAM I live with my Slave, I am served by my slave emotionally and physically. My slave who is my wife is my best friend, we actually communicate. I include the one letter and I am consistent on a daily basis. The letter D= Discipline runs deep.

I seldom drink the same type of coffee in the morning. Arianna keeps a variety for me. Almost two years now when I open the door she is kneeling, her hands extended with a huge grin on her face because she is happy to see me. On the nights I get home late my clothes are laid out for me. When I shower she is kneeling by the tub, once I get out she drys me off. There is not a day that goes by she does not ask me if she can suck my cock. She does not know the words NO or I CANT. She thrives to give up control, she is always thinking of ways to give up control. Arianna has the need to serve. All because of that one letter D= Discipline.

Many of you who are submissive or baby girls the baby girls are the worst. Many of you jump from Dom to Dom, hunting and searching you think sucking cock is your way of finding the rainbow. You think this way because you believe everything you hear , or your just that desperate. Why would you settle for less just to have someone a few hours a week or a month. If you are not living together you are not gaining anything.

Having a plan to make that move is different, even if your long distance and getting to know each other but then you decide okay one of us has to move. That is real , that is how you tell someone really cares about you.

There are very few blogs here on wordpress that are positive. Most is just about bitching or how much they miss their daddy. I did not get a call on my birthday , or I sent a text 3 days ago and have not heard anything. I get to see my daddy and it has been three months. It is really depressing, and I just fucking wonder why you want to put yourself through this, why take this type of mental abuse.

I get up in the morning with Arianna , I turn the coffee pot on and we drink coffee together, but I think many of you get up and you drink a cup of stupid, just to get your day going, a cup of drama extra strong, a cup of drag me through the mud. Let me have a cup of depression to get my day started…

I am not pointing fingers at anyone so do not take it to heart, but why in the fuck would you put yourself through such abuse? Why allow someone to come in and step all over you and walk out while they are throwing you a towel to clean up and say I will see you next month. I really do not get it, because all of you could be living the dream.

Most of you Baby Girls are seeing men who are married, that I do not understand. Because you have a 99.9% chance of him not leaving his wife, you are there because there are things his wife will not do.  Then your only getting his side of the story, maybe you should go see her, give her a call to see if things are so bad, because if they were so bad he would of already left. She is the one who had his children, she has helped him buy the house and cars, she is the one who is cooking for him, she is the one doing his laundry, and yes she is still fucking him. Why would you disrespect her? What has she done to you? Why would you want to destroy what she has worked so hard to build?  It is not a question will you get caught it is when, and I can tell you it wont be pretty, because when you try to destroy her world she will destroy yours. Why put her through his mess, his fuck ups? She has done nothing to you, and you could really care less. If your Dominant or Master or Daddy really cares about you, he could pack up and leave, money or no money, I know because I did it. I lost everything, but in the end left with nothing I was happy.

If he is fucking around on his wife, do not think for one minute you are the only one he is fucking. Do not think if he does leave his wife he will not fuck around on you. Think about that.

I am living the DREAM and if your willing to put just a little effort into your life you can as well. If you 50 shades of grey Doms stop thinking with the wrong head you could as well.

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Much Love

Vile