Archive for the Domestic Abuse Category

If The Truth Hurts , Go Fuck Yourself

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, Broken Dominant, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, consequences, controlling, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, Dominant, Dominants who suffer from depression, Ed Wolf facebook, Ex wife, exposing bad dominants, Fake Dominants, http://ekidon.wordpress.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, non caring, non-consensual, self centered, Self Inflicting, Self Pity, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Last night I was on Facebook just minding my own business , playing Pawn Stars which is really boring by the way, and I get a private message.
Hey Vile you should see what is going on with this blog, so I look and I do not see anything, so I ask again, Ohhh on Facebook okay let me check it out.

Now before I go on, I want everyone to know I never use any ones name on here. One I know most people want their privacy , and two I never bash any one individual.

So for those of you who do not know me, I have never claimed to be politically correct. I tell it as I see it, but one thing you should know is I live by the truth , the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Something else I would like to bring up , I have never claimed to know everything in the BDSM world or the lifestyle, but what I am sharing is more than 20 years of my life in the community.

Also I would like to point out those who do not know me, may think I have an ego problem, and that is so far from the truth, I am just very confident, and there is a huge difference.
I have made it clear many times there is no room in the lifestyle for an ego. Ego’s kill relationships.

So I go and check out the Facebook page, and I am reading.

I want to Blast Vile Woods so bad, but I know when to take the high road.

I start thinking and I do not even know this dude, why in the fuck is he bashing me? What the fuck did I do to him?

As it turns out I did nothing to him at all, he is angry because his submissive , well I think she is his submissive reads and likes my blog.

I would also like to point out, what I write is strictly my own opinion, and nothing more.
I am sharing my life experience’s with everyone. As you have seen 90% of my blog is about abuse, what to look for when meeting a new Dominant? Questions to ask when meeting a new Dominant.

I have a very successful M’s relationship and I want to show others it can happen, and you can be happy.
While my way may not work for you, you can take bits and pieces , and maybe put a plan together.

So I send Ed Wolf a Message, I would not normally use anyone’s name but he did blast my name for everyone to see, so now I return the favor. I am not going to get drawn up in all the drama by the way, so after this post it will be done..

Vile

Mr Wolf

If you have a problem with me, you should come to me.
As far as I know I have done nothing to you, maybe I have and did not realize at any rate I am not sure what blasting on FB does.

Vile

Ed Wolf

As I said have strong feelings but wouldn’t result to sniping on social media

Vile

what the fuck are you talking about

Vile

Have you got the right dude?

Ed Wolf

Yes never mind. I regret that I commented at all. Sorry

Vile

Um I’ve never said anything about you on social media

Vile

you have never even crossed my mind

Vile

If I am going to talk about you I will use your name

Vile

Dude really you should know me.
Which he does not, even though I guess he follows my blog, he has liked several post in the past.

Ed Wolf

No I shouldn’t. I have enough on my plate without dealing with another egomaniac.

vile

well okay I am not sure what got you all in an up roar but I am good dude, if I was going to talk about you I would of used your name.

Vile

I am not an egomaniac by the way I have no reason to be.

Vile
My life is good dude

Vile
Believe what you want but you were never a topic on my blog

Vile
I do not know enough about you to blog anything

Vile
dude I know nothing about you nor do I wish to

Vile
I don’t know if your single married, divorced kids nothing at all

I do know now he is divorced, and his submissive is still married.

Ed Wolf
I know you weren’t specific or talking about me. Im worried about someone else who considers your opinions as fact. Biting my tongue sorry I said anything. My apologies

Ahhh now the cat is out. His submissive reads my blog.

Vile
Well if you have a lot going on in your life you should fix it.
Sounds like a lot of drama.
chill out , come up with a plan and do it.
Staying calm and cool is the best path

Ed Wolf
Lol
That was Mr Wolf’s final answer.

So while I am not going to speak bad about the submissive, out of respect.
I will tell Mr Wolf he should leave married women alone and get his own woman.

Far be it for me to spread rumors but word on the street is Mr Wolf has stock in Jack Daniels. Alcohol and BDSM do not mix any Dominant should know that.

Rumor on the street has it Mr Wolf also has a bad temper, again a bad temper does not mix well in a BDSM relationship, or any relationship for that matter.

If Mr Wolf has a drinking and temper problem, how is that going to effect his newly found relationship.
I am sure is played a huge part in his divorce as well.

A Dominant is in full control of his life, a Dominant does not have a temper problem, after all we are leaders.
Then you add the drinking problem, which probably stems from a childhood trauma, who knows, maybe just stressed and he cannot handle everything thrown at him.

Then I look at Mr Wolf’s blog, there are a few post but nothing he has written. His whole blog is just re-blogs, which shows he really has no real interest.

This will make my 990th blog and maybe I have re-blogged a 100 maybe less.

Here is Mr Wolfs Blog

http://ekidon.wordpress.com/

BDSM -Ties That Bind or Break Us
ekidon.wordpress.com

You know if you had a problem with me, you should of come to me instead of blasting it out over the net, but just like your last comment Lol it shows your colors.

A true Dominant would not of acted out as you have, a true Dominant would not of gotten angry at his so called submissive, with who you do not live with, and I will share with you how that is going to play out here in a minute.

you the Dominant are now running around and apologizing to others you have offended. Speaking to other submissive’s in a rude way, which again a true Dominant would of never done.

Mr Ed Wolf let me tell you just how things are going to play out, so you can prepare.

You are going to lose, and you are going to lose with your actions, your childish behavior , you are going to lose because of the anger issues you have. You Mr Ed Wolf are a abuser, you were in your first marriage and you will be to whom ever your lucky enough to lure in.

You will lose the married submissive you have now, as well as the friendship. Your actions are causing her great distress, your actions are causing her to be depressed, your actions are making her confused, your actions are making her cry.

Mr wolf only cares about Mr Wolf, it is all about Mr Wolf, and no one else.

I feel deep pity for you, I do not feel sorry, but pity

Shame on you, what gave you the right to go to another mans house and try to claim his wife? Who the fuck are you?

This is why you lose friends, and again you cannot see it, because it is all about Mr Ed Wolf.

If what your submissive is saying to you is the truth you have no reason to get upset. My guess is your upset because your cover has been blown.
She is married you should leave her alone and find your own woman.
Someone who likes Jack Daniels?

Do not ever bring my name up and try to get me mixed in with your garbage.
I am unforgiving so I do not accept your apology..

Arianna wanted me to say nothing to you, and I understand because your full of drama, but you never should of called me out in public among my friends when I did nothing you.
You should of been a man and came to me, but instead you laughed.

If you cannot control yourself, your anger, your emotions, how can you possibly control someone else?

hate

Vile

What Is A Good Dominant

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, communication, control, Domestic Abuse, Dominance, Dominant, Dominant with drinking problems, Dominants, Emotions, ethics, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, Giving Head, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Humiliation, Leather Guard, Married Dominant, married slave, Married submissive, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Old Leather Guard, Protocol, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, sucking dick on September 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know while it is not written anywhere Dominants do have what is called a code of Honor.

At one time what set us apart were the strict protocols that were put in place, and there was a time not only did those who were slaves and submissive followed them, but Dominants did as well.

In the lifestyle we were held to higher standards , because well not only was it expected, but we were leaders. Sometime ago it took a very long time for a Dominant to become recognized within the community, it was not a title that was just giving out or a title someone could claim. As a Matter of fact many were not accepted in the local community just because of who they were and what they stood for.
So yes there was a time when protocol’s were indeed protocol’s and they were followed.

Then the internet boom, all of this information was online and available , and just as with anything you read you can take parts of this and parts of that, and come up with your own ideas.

Then somewhere along the line what we believed in and what we stood for began to fade away. Protocols were being lost in the pile of confusion.

While at a local MAsT several months ago this topic came up and as I was speaking about how things use to be another Dominant stepped in.

He stated you had to let others in who did not believe in the same protocols, rules. His thoughts were you had to let everyone in because if you did not you would have no one to lead.
So then we have to bend our rules, we have to set our protocols aside, we have to let others criticize the way we live and what we stand for.
While I do agree to a point everyone should be allowed to come to MAsT meetings, I also believe they should have to adhere to our rules and protocols, if they cannot do that, show them the door.
I would rather lead a 100 strong into battle than a 1000 blind.

Okay where am I going with this you might be asking ?

What I can say is today there are those who are fake who would never think of going to a MAsT or a munch because they know they would be called out. There would be people who are able to see through the fake wall you have built, and for the most you would be ignored.

There are things that do not mix in the lifestyle , whether you are a Dominant or you just gave yourself the title.

There is no place for anger, if you have anger issues you are not a real Dominant.
There is no place for Alcohol during play, if you drink you can hurt someone, and hurt someone bad. I have met very few Dominants over the years who have had a drinking problem. So if you have a drinking problem and you cannot control your alcohol you have no place within the lifestyle.

Last year we were at a party and another Dominant asked me if he could session with Arianna. It took me a minute to digest what he had to said, but what really got me is he had been drinking.
I explained that I did not share my property and if I did I would not because he had been drinking.

Married Dominants or single Dominants who have this idea about going after married women.

If you re married and you have to cheat on your wife because your needs are not being met, then do what a real Dominant would do, Leave. Pack your things up file for divorce and leave. Why wreck someone’s life because your little kinks are not being met.
You knew before you got married, she did not take it up the ass, you knew she did not swallow, you knew she was not submissive. You knew all of this ahead of time. To bring someone into your mess is not fair. To lie or mislead someone is dead wrong. What you have done is wasted that much time of their life.

Find you own woman, your own submissive, there is no shortage, and if you find a married woman who will fuck around on her husband, guess what? She will fuck around on you as well.
Just like the Dominant who fucks around on his wife, he will fuck around on you in time. Please do not think you suck cock that good, or your pussy is any different because it is not.

I do not like women who are weak, I am not a rescuer , I do not roll like that. I like the challenge , I love the hunt, then you move in for the kill.
I wanted the best, I wanted the woman who would not normally give me the time of day.
One thing that is for sure I never wanted another mans problems.
If you have the need to wreck someone’s home no matter how bad it is, and believe me if it was that bad they would already be gone.
You my friend are no Dominant, you are not now and you never will be.

A Dominant is a leader, a Dominant is someone who is in full control of their life. This is just no my opinion either. A Dominant accepts responsibility but more important admits when he is wrong. A real Dominant would never step between someone and their family.

I don’t want your wife, who is already fucked up in the head with her own problems. I don’t want your girlfriend, if the pussy is that easy to get, why would I want it?

I got game, I do for those of you who have been lucky enough to see Arianna, I got game.
I had to be able to back up my words, if I was going to play the game, I had to know the rules. I had to walk the walk and talk the talk. I got game
I would never stoop so low as to try and take another mans wife, more so if children are involved. They did not ask to be brought into your fucked up world, how fucking pathetic is that.

I can talk shit because I am living the dream. I have what you fake Dominant only dream about.
Yes I have what you never will.

While this blog or post is not about anyone in particular, I am sure many can relate to my words.

If your a Dominant then be one.

master

As Always

Vile

If You Find My Blog Offensive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, consequences, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominant, Dominants, slave, Stephen Fry, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , on August 20, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

Freedom of speech in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and by many state constitutions and state and federal laws. The freedom of speech is not absolute; the Supreme Court of the United States has recognized several categories of speech that are excluded from the freedom, and it has recognized that governments may enact reasonable time, place, or manner restrictions on speech.

 

While I am not Atheist, I am not what you would call a religious nut , I do believe in evolution so I am not sure where that would put me. We all know that dinosaurs walked the planet but the bible gives no history of it, shrugs.

Two things I have avoided talking about on my blog, religion and politics. Both have no place in my thoughts.

While I did a couple of post on Domestic Discipline it was others who directed it towards religion. In the past I have received emails asking me to do a blog on the subject, so I did.

Some years ago out on the west coast I use to listen to a shock jock, his name was Tom Leykis. This lady had been on hold for 2.5 hours just so she could tell him how much he sucked. How much she hated him, How disgusting he was, how worthless he was.

Yes I love Tom Leykis he is the man, well next to me.

If you come across my blog and you do not like my material, you can be saved, and I will talk you through the process.

While sitting there in total shock,and after you have sent a text telling everyone how disgusting I am. Listen I am typing this real slow so you will understand. Move your mouse to the top right corner, hovering over the X and left click on your mouse. Poof I am gone. The best thing about it is you never have to come back.

If you take my comments out of context that is not my fault. I hope that blowing up my blog wast therapeutic for you, I hope you felt good.

I can tell you this I am a better man than that. I have never visited someones blog and tried to rip then a new fucking asshole . I have sent private emails, but never public.

My blog for the most is about me, my life and my mistakes. I as a Dominant male, I as a Master who is married to his slave, by the way who is fine, has a degree, and does not have a low self esteem, and an awesome career , and has been with the same company for 16 years, is part of my life.

What I am getting at is I have admitted that I have made mistakes. I have admitted in the past I have been wrong, I have admitted in the past I have abused. I have admitted this to a whopping 310.000 people, from more than 175 different country’s, okay I am not sure I stopped at 175 or so, but who is counting.

My blog is popular because I am not politically correct, my blog is popular because I speak the truth and nothing but the truth. I do not tell people what they want to hear because I am afraid I will lose a follower, or maybe I might offend someone.

My blog is mostly about abuse, my blog is to help those who are new to the lifestyle spot the fakes, and the abusers.

I can talk shit because I am living the dream, because I talk the talk and I walk the walk.

Is my way the only way ? Absolutely  not but I can give you the foundation so that you can begin to build your relationship. I can make you think and see things you did not see before. I can give you a different point of view.

If you find my blog offensive then do not type in http://www.thekinkyworldofvile. No one if forcing you. I have not been casting spells.

frye

The awesome part about having my own blog is I can pick any subject I want. Okay I will admit sometimes when I am about to publish I have second thoughts, but why should I lie, or try to soften something up? If I do that I am not being me, and believe me I am the same in person.

offended Both photos and quotes from the awesome stephen fry..

Do not come to my house and bash me because you have a problem. Do not come to my house talking down to me. I want the same respect I give others.

What I do want is your comments, your questions, and yes even if you do not agree with me I want to know why, but do not come here whining like a little bitch, and then have someone come in and help you. I do not want you to agree with everything I say, I want you to disagree. If by some chance you do agree then leave a comment or ask a questions.

Feel free to ask me to explain what I mean, or how I come up with something, but again do not come bashing me.

Vile

 

 

 

 

Guest Blogger Today. Husband Abuse vs. submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Advice, Argue, bdsm, controlling, Disrespect, Divorce, Domestic Abuse, married, Safe and Sane, self confidence, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , on July 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know in two years since the start of Thekinkyworldofvile , I have never had a guest blogger, the truth is I had never really given it much thought.

Much of my blog is about abuse,I am against any type of abuse be it verbal, physical, or mental, and yes to the almighty married men who cannot run their own home.

Recently My dear friend Franco Bolli here on wordpress and several other men brought up the subject about men being abused , and I have witnessed it first hand but never gave it much thought..

I was in the car business I worked as a salesman, and now that I look back on the last couple of years.
I was selling a Dodge Ram Pickup to a man , he was like 10k upside down, looking at a 47.000 truck. Well I said what kind of payments are you looking at ?
He then said I want the truck for 38.000 out the door, god I hate stupid people. So where did you come up with that number ? He said that is just a number I had in my head. I said well I am guessing there are more numbers in your head somewhere.
So I asked do you have a payment goal ? Yes I do 450 a month. so I said even if I could do 38.000 out the door, if you divide 38.000 by 72, that is about 527 a month and you have not even added interest.
So I get up I go into the tower and I come back and I sit down. Okay your truck is worth 29500 and you still owe 39000.
Well Kelly Blue book says its worth 36000, I said fine call kelly blue book and get them to cut you a check.
so when it was all said and done, his payments were going to be around 850 a month.

His wife blew the fuck up. I told you, you stupid mother fucker, you are so fucking ignorant, I never should of married you, it went on and on and on, then she slapped him in the head.
So he comes back in and says hey I am sorry my wife blows up every now and then. I was like man don’t tell me your sorry, your the one sleeping with her.
That was something that happened often, and I just shake my head.

So anyway Mel contacted me and told me what she had witnessed first hand, and that she had written a story about it. So I asked her if she would like to be a guest Blogger, I am not sure where that came from, but hey it is a good idea.
Here is her wordpress a lot of interesting things, you will enjoy.

http://pushingourlimits.wordpress.com/tag/pussy-spanking/

Yea I started off on the page about pussy spanking, so enjoy.

Husband Abuse vs. submission

I witnessed an arguement between a couple recently in the grocery store parking lot. With my son.

They were in the space next to the one I chose with their windows rolled down, and I was unfortunate enough to hear some of the worst verbal abuse I’ve ever heard. If I’d still been in the drivers seat when I heard it, I would’ve started my car and moved spaces. Though, it was a great teaching moment for my little man.

As we were walking in, the man got out of the car, calling the woman a few bad names, and slamming the door. He then stood outside of the car, hitting the roof and roaring, wordlessly at her.

There were plenty of other patrons staring, and as I ushered my almost first grader into the store, I felt so sorry… Not for that woman, but for him. And for all of the other people around me who didn’t understand the REAL abuse that happened prior to his outburst.

Before his shouting and her tears, before almost anyone noticed them, that woman beat down her man with the vicious skill of a practiced abuser. She pummeled him with quiet, but scathing words until he simply could not sit and take it any longer.

When I opened my car door, I heard her say she was glad she’d cheated on him and that she would do it again. Since he wouldn’t fuck her, she found someone who would. Then, methodically, she went over all the reasons he deserved it. She jabbed him about his weight, seared him about his job, mocked him for his social skills, and just before we were out of earshot, she harassed him again about his lack of desire for her.

The man was not more than a few pounds overweight, and honestly, I was surprised when I saw her inside later, because she truly had no room to comment on his weight. They were in a very new car and both had on lovely clothes, so I cannot imagine his job was that terrible. I can’t attest to his social skills, but I’m quite sure that any social awkwardness he had was only amplified by her negativity.

And I certainly could understand not wanting to get intimate with a woman who emasculates you constantly.

Honestly, I can’t imagine this was a random occurrence. He followed her around the store looking like a beaten puppy. And while it sickens me that any man would put up with that, I also feel sorry for him. Because it truly is a form of abuse.

I know women do this. I know they believe they are justified in tearing their men apart because they aren’t perfect. I understand the draw to hurt the person whose inability to meet her needs, hurts her. Calling him names, showing him all the ways he fails, listing all the things he is already insecure about… In an effort to prove to him that he needs to change… Never once thinking about the damage these insults cause and how they never work to improve or enlighten…

It is so sad.

Yes, men do the same. And it’s considered verbal or mental abuse. But, for some reason, it is rarely considered abuse when women do it.

She’s a nag. She just complaining. She belittles him, but it’s ok, because she does it under the guise of wanting to help him. Or the worst, he deserves it.

People feel sorry for her.

And so this man gets the double whammy of not only being abused, but is looked upon as the abuser.

I’ve been guilty of emasculating my man in this way. I’m not a horrible nag, in fact, I’m really easy to please and demand very little. But, at the beginning of this journey toward submission, I basically dropped my unhappiness in my husband’s lap and told him to fix it. I believed he needed to change and laid responsibility on him to do so.

I recognized, after a lifetime of denying it, that I truly wanted my husband to rule our home, including my life and body. I no longer had any desire to lead, and felt that he should simply grab the reins.

Had I not spent a decade taking away every decision and bending him to MY will, he may have easily done so. I recognize the irony in my own arrogance, that I could somehow dominate him into dominating me. I realize how little I actually understood about my OWN submissive desires back then. I see how it must’ve felt and sounded to a man who was happy with his marriage and life, and honestly did not have a clue that his wife wasn’t.

When he couldn’t or wouldn’t “step up” and “take over”, I belittled him to no end… just not to his face. On my blog, in my mind, to his mother, my sisters, anyone who would listen. And though I struggle to use my voice with him directly, that is all still a form of abuse. Surely, he could feel that venom of my resentment, even if I never openly spoke those biting words to him. It was certainly present in my attitude and demeanor.

Then, some things changed this year. I enjoyed a clear glimpse of what praise, adoration and respect could do for a man. I find it easy to build people up, and wondered what would happen if I tried to do that with my husband. Would he respond the same as others have? Could I set aside my expectation and just submit?

I’ve read a lot about marriage, submission and ridding oneself of resentment (cited at the bottom of this post). I’ve pushed myself to communicate more (though I’m still horrible at it). I’ve gained clear perspective of how my submission actually enhances my husband’s natural dominance. I work every day to take what he says literally and never over-analyze his actions (he’s a simple man, he says what he means and does what he says).

I no longer feel unloved, unwanted or unimportant. He is stronger and much more in control. He sees how it affects me which only feeds it. He sees me. Like he’s never seen me before. Because I don’t hide behind “wearing the pants”. Because I need him him to wear them.

And he is. He is taking care of me.

Suddenly, my marriage feels safe and comfortable. No, it is not perfect. But it will probably take a long time to undo what I “trained” him to be. It is a process.

It is like healing abuse.

There are lots of ways women abuse men. Vile’s recent post about Gold Digging was a great example. My testimony above of the verbal abuse I witnessed is probably the most common. Some are far more subtle. But they cause pain or discomfort, and most are clearly intentional.

Withholding sex, denial of other basic needs, ignoring or refusing to communicate, intimidation, threatening false accusations, making false accusations… I could go on. Basically all the tools women use to control men, they are, in fact abusive. The fact that men “shouldn’t put up with that shit” doesn’t change that.

Women react to any sort of stress with fear, it is our predetermined go to emotional response. The matching male response is shame. And the two can feed off each other, creating stress upon stress, forever.

The interesting thing is, the fear response is easier to control. In my personal experience, and through the books I have read (which I will cite below), it is evident that when a women actively prevents herself from contributing to the stress that causes her husband (or any man) to feel shame, her own fear is dampened and sometimes eliminated.

We are sort of programmed to make others feel good, it’s in our chemical makeup, we get a hormonal high off of it. That high makes us feel safe. Even before there is any sort of response from our man.

When you abuse a man, contribute to his shame in any way, his chemical makeup responds with aggression. Abuse leads to abuse.

No abuse is acceptable.

But certainly, lashing out against your abuser is understandable.

In my opinion, I think a very solid majority of failing marriages could be saved by some level of submission by the wife. I know there are lots of relationships out there with a submissive husband and Dominant wife, and I don’t belittle those relationships at all, I know they work and those couples are very happy.

I’m simply using this equation because, in my research, our familial roles are set by our gender. Chemically, biologically and historically.

When a woman decides not to refuse her husband sex, praises him for his successes and achievements instead of demeaning him for his failures, respects his decision making abilities and even relies on them, consistently, and actively gives, pleases and appreciates, effectively submitting to his leadership, guidance and natural role as the “Head of Household”, these changes within her create significant changes within him.

I’m at the front of this process, deciding within the last two months to truly surrender to my husband, instead of expecting him to exert his dominance over me. It has been enlightening. My submission blooms within me, every day. And in turn, he has truly begun taking care of me. As I slather on the praise and adoration, the more he steps up to the plate.

I am a masochist and he is definitely no sadist, but the more I accept what he can offer, appreciate it and revel in it, he seems to delve just a bit deeper and push his own limits without the demands and pleading that I wasted the last year filling his mind with. (Though I do still beg a lot… just in a different context).

Submission means letting go of expectations. Submission means allowing your path to be carved out by someone else. Submission means handing over control.

Surrender means abandoning oneself completely. It’s not about you. It’s about him.

But trust me when I say, when you make it about him, he’ll make it about you… times 100.

Remember what I said about women being programmed to make others feel good? Well, when you succumb to that and do it regularly, his natural response will be taking care of YOU. That will become his top priority.

At least that is how it’s worked out for me, so far. And it is Really. Very. Nice.

The books that I’ve read and am reading that helped me figure out a lot of the things I discussed above:

The Surrendered Wife: A Practical Guide for Finding Intimacy, Passion and Peace with a Man
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It
Becoming the Woman of His Dreams

Vile & Mel

argue

The Difference Between DD And BDSM

Posted in abuse, Advice, anal sex, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, bdsm, blow job, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominants, Master, Mentor, Religion, slave, Submission, submissive on October 27, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This week I have been raising some eyebrows with my post on a DD relationship and the abuse within. I am not saying every DD house is abusive but from the comments from some of my readers present and past abuse seems to run higher in a DD home Verses a D’s or M’s ran home.

Being a Dominant can take years to Master if you will, we just do not wake up one morning and say I am a Dominant, most of us know we are different at a very young age, just as a submissive does.

Another key element I would like to point out a younger Dominant will seek out a mentor most of the time, someone they can learn from, more so when it comes to any type of hands on play. It also took me years to Master the control I have and learn the difference between being in control and being controlling. It took me years to Master my anger, to think before I spoke. The words that come out of your mouth can do much harm.

There is no reason for a Man and Woman to stand toe to toe and argue, I look down on men who do so. That does not show any control. Remember we are suppose to be leaders, we are suppose to guide, give advice when needed.The Submissive has to gain trust before they will follow, and we must be able to maintain that trust.

In a years time I have punished Arianna one time and one time only. Why is this ? It breaks a submissive’s heart to know they have done wrong. There is no more pain a submissive could endure knowing they have messed up. A submissive or Slave strives to be the best they can be, they need to be the best at anything they do. Yesterday we had a conversaionI let it go back and forth a couple of times to see how far it would go and I just finely put my foot down in a nice calm manner and it was added to her rules. At her request.

I am not saying there are not some fucked up Dominants because there are, these are the ego driven  men, the fakes I speak about all to often. The ones who prey on those who are submissive because they see an easy piece of ass. So yes there are some fucked up Dominants.

I was not here to Bash and men who live a DD life, but if your going to stand and argue with your mate, something is really wrong.

I myself to not use spanking as a form of punishment, I have one time and that was just to get a point across and it worked.  If the one who is submissive enjoys being spanked why would you use that as a form of punishment. If you spank during play and you use it for punishment, this can and will confuse the submissive, not being able to separate the two.

Most DD homes are christian based while most BDSM homes are not, although I do know people in the lifestyle who do attend church on a regular basis.

I also believe that if you are raised in a DD home the male or female learns from the parents, and they will carry this over into their own relationship. So if they grew up in an abusive home the abuse will carry over. If the home was not abusive and full of love then what they have learned is carried over.

I believe a Dominant has a great deal of more responsibility within his home, we manage everything, some more than others and some more. As everyone knows Arianna and I live in a micromanaged home. I might point out this was at her request.

I do not believe all males in a DD home have the final say, I am not saying all do not, but I believe for the most they do not. I believe the woman plays a greater role when it comes to making decisions, so far I have only had one female respond to one of my DD blogs.

There is a huge difference when it comes to these types of relationships, more so when it comes to the kink. Although sex is not the main objective in our lifestyle it does play a role. I know in my relationship when it comes to sex the word no or I do not feel good does not come out of Arianna’s mouth. I can tell when she does not feel well and I leave her be. I can say there is not one day that passes that she ask if she can give me head, or my favorite was last night she asked if I wanted to finish in her ass, that drives me crazy.

I do believe in most cases Dominants in the BDSM lifestyle are in far more control.

Here is a comment one of my reader posted last night I have much respect for Gemini and her Dominant Joseph.

Dear Vile,

I find it hard to understand DD at times as I know myself and my Dominant are so in tune with each other that I can’t imagine him feeling the need to seriously administer corporal punishment for doing something so wrong that needed correcting. Even as a strong minded and principled individual I am also very placid and compliant with him and really could never see myself defying him to such a degree.

If there was something I disagreed with or vice versa, then we would have a discussion around that and come to some agreement and because I respect him and his views so much it is very likely I would comply. To me that is big part of being submissive in a D/s relationship.

I think I would feel as though our relationship would be failing if I was going against him and breaking rules so bad that corporal punishment was needed. In any case, I enjoy being spanked too much to make it part of our relationship to be dreaded because of my misbehavior. I also love and respect him too much to upset him to such a degree.

On the other hand, I do not see anything wrong in role playing DD and being taken in hand for being Master’s naughty little girl.

Thanks for the last couple of post Vile. I found them very interesting and thought provoking.

Gemini Xx

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I am done with this topic

Vile

My Take On Domestic Discipline

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Arianna, bdsm, blog, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife, Dominants, excommunicated, Honesty, Master, My House, passive, Protocol, punish, Punishment, relationships, Religion, Respect, Rules, Shun, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive on October 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I believe from what I have read and the research I have done , Domestic Discipline is a christian based relationship. Both male and female grow up in a DD type household. I grew up in one my parents being Southern Baptist. My brother and I lived in a very strict home, but that is not where the trouble laid.

Although my father was a deacon in our church and a very respected member in our community there were very big dark secrets. Both parents drank very heavy , both were abusive to each other, even to the point of contact.

I would like to say I learned from their mistakes, I learned about a DD house at a very young age. I learned very early on that I was Dominant although in my teens I did not fully understand.  I knew I had to be in control, and  I knew my partner then had to be very passive, easy going, lady like, calm.

Now in my early years I did have a very bad temper, but never to the point of hitting a woman out of anger. At that time I knew nothing of BDSM but I would punish my partner. I would simply walk her to a corner or send her to the bedroom. There was never any contact.

It took me years to control my anger, my thoughts, and the difference between being in control and being controlling. I learned you were much better off talking than screaming.

I learned about BDSM while I was stationed in Korea, but there it was not called BDSM it was just Master and Slave.  I was introduced to an older gentleman named Kim. It was just by luck I fell into meeting him. I can say I did learn most of what I know from Kim. Learning the difference between being in control and not being controlling, learning to listen to someone and really taking it in. Learning you could Discipline from words and not by contact. Beating your slave or submissive is not always the answer.

So from a very young age I learned the way my parents lived and other I had interaction with was not the correct way of living. I wanted to treat my lady better. Even out in public you can see abuse even if it is just verbal, those memories never go away. Words do leave scars. Bruises go away words do not.

Now I am not saying every D’s relationship is perfect, nor am I saying every M’s relationship is perfect, because there are some fucked up Dominants, there are some fucked up men who give themselves titles.  There are Dominants who use the lifestyle as an open door to abuse. The same in just a plain Vanilla relationship abuse is very active today. It just so happens some of my readers in the past have posted about Domestic Discipline and the abuse that happens.

Not every time but most of the time if a male grows up in an abusive house he to will abuse. I have seen this, and I am sure many of you have.

In my church as a kid the woman was to be seen and not heard. Last year I met a Jehovah Witness who had been living in a DD run house and was abused very bad verbally , and even to the point her husband had her excommunicated from the church and her children, mother and father. Instead of being a man and trying to solve his own problems he had to run to elders and tell what his wife had done. What kind of religion does this to a mother? Wow now is this the way a DD house is ran ?

Here are a few scriptures from the bible this explains where many who are religious get their ideas about DD.

What is CDD?
A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. There is no “One Ring of Power” in the Domestic Discipline world, to which all DD couples must bow; no singular path to “true DD enlightenment”. What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.

A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.

Therefore, in a CDD marriage:

•The husband is the head of the household, whilst the wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband. See Eph. 5:22-24.
•The husband is to love his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the church. He is to be a servant, and leads by example. He is to lay down his life for her. See Eph. 5:25-29.
•The wife is to reverence her husband. She is to obey him, so long as his instructions are not in opposition to God’s commands. See Titus 2:5, Acts 5:29.
He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions. The final decision rests with him, and therefore, the final responsibility, whatever the outcome, is his to bear. A wise husband will not make a major decision without prayerfully asking God for wisdom, and without seeking his wife’s counsel. Prov. 20:5

He is to be the head of the home. She is to be the heart of the home.

He is not a dictator. She is not a doormat.

He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.

He has the responsibility for leading his family and is accountable before God for their well-being and development. He has the authority to spank his wife for disciplinary reasons, but in real CDD marriages, this authority is taken quite seriously and usually happens rarely. Most CDD marriages do use spanking, generally for serious offences, such as the “Four D’s” (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, or Dangerous [as in dangerous choices… reckless driving, disobeying doctor’s orders, etc]). Some CDD marriages also use non-corporal disciplines, such as writing lines, or the temporary forfeiture of a favourite privilege. Again, every marriage is unique, and CDD is much more than just corporal punishment or spanking.

CDD is not a “magic pill”, and this website does not claim CDD will prevent all marital rows. It is simply a tool, one method which many couples round the world feel is quite effective in strengthening their marriages, and improving the quality of their relationship.

CDD is the husband loving his wife enough to patiently guide and unselfishly cherish her.
CDD is the wife loving her husband enough to follow his leadership and trust his direction.
A Christian marriage should embody selfless love and true romance.
A Christian couple is to be a reflection of Jesus and His Bride.

I posted some time ago about Domestic Discipline and had a few readers respond, even a female submissive who grew up in a very abusive DD ran house. There are submissives who have posted about a DD ran house, so I am not the only one.

I myself have nothing against a DD ran home, as long as it does not consist of abuse, be it verbal or physical. As long as the man is in full control and not controlling. As far as that goes I am against any type of abuse in any home.

I have said this before and I will say it again. How can you expect your woman to cook, take care of the house, kids, pay bills, and lay on her back, and you abuse her ?

So after six months or so I had two people comment about my blog on Domestic Discipline  and just gave me hell up one side and down the other. Even saying I knew nothing of a DD ran home. Well the truth is I do, If you are going to comment at least leave me a way to contact you instead of blocking your blog. You are just wanting to have a one way conversation. You want to say your peace, but you have to have the last word, yea pretty fucked up. You want to start an argument  but not give anyone a chance to respond. Okay I am good with that.

Here are the post.

swl1 11h
The glaring flaw in this entire argument is the completely erroneous assumption that domestic discipline is something that is forced on an unwilling wife by an abusive husband.
In fact it would take only a minimal amount of easy research – I would suggest a few of the two or three hundred public domestic discipline blogs (mostly written by DD submissives) available on the internet as a starting point – to establish the fact that, not only is domestic discipline an entirely consensual private agreement between two adults, but that it is most commonly introduced into the relationship by the submissive partner. It should be noted that one of the operative words here is “adult”, meaning that DD neither extends to any children in the family nor, like the sexual activities of the parents, is the arrangement made known to them. In short, DD involves only the two consenting adults within the relationship and affects or hurts no-one else.
It is also not the case in any shape or form that the submissive partner in a DD cannot withdraw consent at any time if she finds that the dynamic does not work for her. I am sure it is the case that there are many relationships in which a women is forced and intimidated into remaining in a violent and abusive situation, but a consensual domestic discipline relationship is definitely not one of these.
It always surprises me greatly that so many people who would consider it a curtailment of their human rights and freedom of choice if they were told that they must restrict their private lives to the limits of someone else’s approval and desires, can at the same the time and in the absence of any research casually condemn the choices of others.

One other thing. I think that you will find that, in a DD relationship, any ‘hitting’ is confined entirely to spanking the bottom and that split lips, black eyes, etc, do not feature and would be considered abusive and out of place by anyone who practises genuine DD. You might also be surprised to learn that DD, even when used in punishment situation, more often than not has a strong undertone of eroticism (from the D/s interaction) which results in ‘reconnection’ by *mutual* sexual pleasure directly after the spanking.
Finally, while I have encountered a very few individuals who hold rigidly stereotypical views on what they think are typical D/s and M/s relationships, the great majority of people in the DD community, while not necessarily personally desirous of these kinds of relationships, have respect and acceptance for the dynamics and choices of those who do practise them.

Louise 36m
In the vast majority of DD relationships, it is the woman who actively desires this type of relationship, and often has some trouble persuading her husband or boyfriend to try it out. Those where the woman is persuaded into it by the man seem to form a very small minority from what I have read. You don’t really seem to know much about DD at all.
I am guessing both are males, I have yet to have a female post anything positive about a DD relationship. These are all male opinions , just as what I post is my own opinion. I am glad some disagree but please have the balls to let me rebuttal, please leave the door open to let me respond.

I can tell you how my house is ran, it is probably much like a DD ran home. I have rules that are followed, I have put structure into my home, as well as protocols.  I can also tell you that I have never raised my voice to my wife and Slave, I have never hit her nor have I ever talked down to her. My wife is very intelligent , beautiful , and is far from a doormat. I do allow her to speak and share her thoughts and ideas.  We also have a communication based relationship, okay so it sounds perfect, that is because it is.  My wife and Slave will also tell you I have never left a bruise on her.

DO NOT COME TO MY FUCKING BLOG AND COMMENT AND ME NOT HAVE AWAY TO AT LEAST RESPOND. I approved your comments and I replied If you are going to come to my HOUSE and run off at the mouth at least have a little respect.

Now I do understand there are some who are submissive who comment, and do not wish to be contacted, that I do understand. If you are a male commenting on a subject you have deep feelings about and you run off at the mouth, then fucking man up.

THIS IS MY HOUSE

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Vile

You Can’t Fix Stupid

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Beatings, blow job, Bondage, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, cum, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fantasy, fuck hole, fucking, Giving Head, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, married, Married Dominant, masochist, Master, Masters, Mini Skirts, morals, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, non-consensual, On your knees on your back, oral, oral sex, Pain, Patience, punish, Punishment, Respect, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Spanking, stupid, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, TPE, Trust, Whores, You Can't Fix Stupid on July 14, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Quoted by Comedian Ron White. You Can’t Fix Stupid. Yes that is the truth. There is no class you can take, nor is there a pill, stupid is forever.

Yea I know I rag on men pretty bad I suppose that is why 95% of my followers are women, single, married, dating, and yes confused. I do appreciate everyone who stops by to see what I am ranting over, sometimes I do get off track a little at times, mostly when someone does something stupid. Yea I rag on married men who have to cheat and step outside of their marriage because they cannot control their own home and put their bitch in place. They are scared to talk to their wives about there kinks, and needs, but for the most it is just a fantasy and nothing more it never does last to long. They end up going back home with their head stuck between their ass cheeks and continue to say Yes Dear. Pussy’s.

On the other side of the picture some men well most who are in a D’s or M’s relationship still do not fully understand what they have at hand. They have not a clue about how good things could or can be. They do not have a clue about how every fantasy, or dream, or a life of total bliss could or can come true.

Walk up to your Vanilla wife and say on your knees bitch suck my cock right now. Your going to get this stupid look like REALLY, are you SERIOUS?  Tell your Vanilla wife to strip and spread again that look, then here it comes you feel Stupid, again you can’t fix Stupid.

Men or those who are Dominant or claim to be , or who demand to be called Master do not have a clue about the possibility’s that stands before them. They know what they want but they are not sure how to go about it.

Then for what ever reason most believe or think that the lifestyle is about punishing, spanking, humiliating, degrading, and even physically hurting, and not looking at the mental aspects of what they are doing.

You broke one of my 128 rules bend over and take your punishment, I am going to beat you until you can understand my rules. I will beat you so bad you will think twice before disobeying me.

Yea it does not really work that way. The truth is a Submissive or Slave would not think of breaking a rule. The punishment in their mind is far greater than laying down and taking a beating. The Sub or Slave is more than willing to lay and take what you give, even after the bruising and yes some cuts. Which will most likely be there for weeks to come. Did they really break a rule or did you the Master change one up to fit your needs?

Submissive’s and Slaves thrive on making their owners happy, and will go through great lengths to insure their owner is taking care of. It gives the sub and slave a natural high knowing they have pleased. Even if it is a one way street they thrive on pleasing and the truth is they expect very little in return.

Here is the thing a Submissive or Slave is really looking for very little. Love , acceptance , communication, someone who is truthful. They are looking for guidance, structure, and most of all total understanding of who and what they are. As you can see the list is not really that long.

Most will allow the owner to have more than one, which you know in the vanilla world that would be a total no no. Most will allow you to pass them around like a bucket of popcorn with only the question in their eyes not from their mouths, a look of confusion, but yes most will do so just to please.

There are not many men who have the privilege of calling their woman their BITCH, again call your vanilla wife your bitch, and you get no pussy for two weeks. You can call her your whore, fuck meat what ever comes to mind, and if you wonder why you can refer yourself to what I wrote about what they are looking for.

So you have a woman, who will suck your cock at the snap of a finger, a woman who will spread and allow you to just fuck her without caring if she cums or not. A woman who will dress to please you, even when she does not feel comfortable wearing that mini skirt with no panties in public. A woman who will crawl on the floor like an animal, bark on demand. A woman who just truly wants to please their owner.

Yet after the above we still have those who have the need to abuse, be it physical or mental some still have the need.

We as Dominants are suppose to build up. Yes it is a fact that most who are submissive do have a low self esteem, not all but for the most it is true. So we as Dominants work to build up. We want to take all the hurt and pain away. We want to guide, we want ours to excel, we want to help with dreams, yes dreams can come true.

I believe most who are submissive will take what is giving bad or good. Most will except the pain, knowing they are being accepted. I just do not understand how a Dominant could not feel guilty after a long session knowing the submissive did not enjoy or get anything out of it.

It has been some twenty years now, my first was a total masochist and after the first session I was really scared and there was something inside me that just felt sicking. I had this load of guilt. Even the second and third session I felt guilty. Then it hit me the pain and humiliation is what she wanted and needed. Does this make it right? That would depend on who you talk to some see it as abuse and at times I saw it as abuse.

After our split it took me some years to realize that not every submissive was like sherri, not everyone needed the pain and humiliation. There were females in the lifestyle that were truly scared of me. What made this worse is other Dominants would praise me because of the recognition I had within the community. At that time it made me feel good but as I grew older and wiser, I knew that was not who I wanted to be known as.

We are all different, Dominants, Tops, Bottoms , slaves Submissive’s, and yes those who switch which I never understood. We all want different relationships, some of those who are submissive, only want to submit while in the bedroom, some only want to submit while at home. Then others want to give up full control. Some want to be punished, some want and need to be spanked and spanked hard, some do not want to be spanked at all. I myself am not physical when it comes to punishment.

As I stated the last thing a submissive or slave wants to do is break a rule. If they start to break rules they are acting out because they feel that they should be getting more attention and will do most anything in order to receive the attention they need even if it means breaking a rule.

I believe instead of being physical you can sit down and talk as adults, at times the submissive is looking for more to happen.

I just do not understand, you have a woman submissive or slave who will lay down and spread at anytime, really willing to do just about anything to keep their owner happy, and for what ever reason the Dominant has the need to abuse.

If anyone can figure this out please let me know, because after twenty plus years I still do not have a clue.

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Vile