Archive for the Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife Category

My Take On Domestic Discipline

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Arianna, bdsm, blog, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife, Dominants, excommunicated, Honesty, Master, My House, passive, Protocol, punish, Punishment, relationships, Religion, Respect, Rules, Shun, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive on October 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I believe from what I have read and the research I have done , Domestic Discipline is a christian based relationship. Both male and female grow up in a DD type household. I grew up in one my parents being Southern Baptist. My brother and I lived in a very strict home, but that is not where the trouble laid.

Although my father was a deacon in our church and a very respected member in our community there were very big dark secrets. Both parents drank very heavy , both were abusive to each other, even to the point of contact.

I would like to say I learned from their mistakes, I learned about a DD house at a very young age. I learned very early on that I was Dominant although in my teens I did not fully understand.  I knew I had to be in control, and  I knew my partner then had to be very passive, easy going, lady like, calm.

Now in my early years I did have a very bad temper, but never to the point of hitting a woman out of anger. At that time I knew nothing of BDSM but I would punish my partner. I would simply walk her to a corner or send her to the bedroom. There was never any contact.

It took me years to control my anger, my thoughts, and the difference between being in control and being controlling. I learned you were much better off talking than screaming.

I learned about BDSM while I was stationed in Korea, but there it was not called BDSM it was just Master and Slave.  I was introduced to an older gentleman named Kim. It was just by luck I fell into meeting him. I can say I did learn most of what I know from Kim. Learning the difference between being in control and not being controlling, learning to listen to someone and really taking it in. Learning you could Discipline from words and not by contact. Beating your slave or submissive is not always the answer.

So from a very young age I learned the way my parents lived and other I had interaction with was not the correct way of living. I wanted to treat my lady better. Even out in public you can see abuse even if it is just verbal, those memories never go away. Words do leave scars. Bruises go away words do not.

Now I am not saying every D’s relationship is perfect, nor am I saying every M’s relationship is perfect, because there are some fucked up Dominants, there are some fucked up men who give themselves titles.  There are Dominants who use the lifestyle as an open door to abuse. The same in just a plain Vanilla relationship abuse is very active today. It just so happens some of my readers in the past have posted about Domestic Discipline and the abuse that happens.

Not every time but most of the time if a male grows up in an abusive house he to will abuse. I have seen this, and I am sure many of you have.

In my church as a kid the woman was to be seen and not heard. Last year I met a Jehovah Witness who had been living in a DD run house and was abused very bad verbally , and even to the point her husband had her excommunicated from the church and her children, mother and father. Instead of being a man and trying to solve his own problems he had to run to elders and tell what his wife had done. What kind of religion does this to a mother? Wow now is this the way a DD house is ran ?

Here are a few scriptures from the bible this explains where many who are religious get their ideas about DD.

What is CDD?
A Domestic Discipline (DD) marriage is one in which one partner is given authority over the other, and has the means to back up that authority, usually by spanking. The application and practise of DD in each marriage is as unique as the individuals who make up that marriage. There is no “One Ring of Power” in the Domestic Discipline world, to which all DD couples must bow; no singular path to “true DD enlightenment”. What works well for one DD couple may not be a good fit for another marriage. Therefore, you may see many different suggestions espoused on this site and elsewhere.

A Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) marriage is simply a traditional, male-led, Christian marriage which utilises aspects of Domestic Discipline. It is set up according to Biblical standards.

Therefore, in a CDD marriage:

•The husband is the head of the household, whilst the wife is submissive to her husband as if the Lord Himself was her husband. See Eph. 5:22-24.
•The husband is to love his wife as himself, and as Christ loved the church. He is to be a servant, and leads by example. He is to lay down his life for her. See Eph. 5:25-29.
•The wife is to reverence her husband. She is to obey him, so long as his instructions are not in opposition to God’s commands. See Titus 2:5, Acts 5:29.
He has the ultimate authority in his household, but this authority is tempered with the knowledge that he will answer to God for his actions and decisions. The final decision rests with him, and therefore, the final responsibility, whatever the outcome, is his to bear. A wise husband will not make a major decision without prayerfully asking God for wisdom, and without seeking his wife’s counsel. Prov. 20:5

He is to be the head of the home. She is to be the heart of the home.

He is not a dictator. She is not a doormat.

He is not a overbearing Lord of the Estate, seeking to trample over his family. She is not some weak-minded lass, needing to be molly-coddled, or seeking to get straightened around.

He has the responsibility for leading his family and is accountable before God for their well-being and development. He has the authority to spank his wife for disciplinary reasons, but in real CDD marriages, this authority is taken quite seriously and usually happens rarely. Most CDD marriages do use spanking, generally for serious offences, such as the “Four D’s” (Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, or Dangerous [as in dangerous choices… reckless driving, disobeying doctor’s orders, etc]). Some CDD marriages also use non-corporal disciplines, such as writing lines, or the temporary forfeiture of a favourite privilege. Again, every marriage is unique, and CDD is much more than just corporal punishment or spanking.

CDD is not a “magic pill”, and this website does not claim CDD will prevent all marital rows. It is simply a tool, one method which many couples round the world feel is quite effective in strengthening their marriages, and improving the quality of their relationship.

CDD is the husband loving his wife enough to patiently guide and unselfishly cherish her.
CDD is the wife loving her husband enough to follow his leadership and trust his direction.
A Christian marriage should embody selfless love and true romance.
A Christian couple is to be a reflection of Jesus and His Bride.

I posted some time ago about Domestic Discipline and had a few readers respond, even a female submissive who grew up in a very abusive DD ran house. There are submissives who have posted about a DD ran house, so I am not the only one.

I myself have nothing against a DD ran home, as long as it does not consist of abuse, be it verbal or physical. As long as the man is in full control and not controlling. As far as that goes I am against any type of abuse in any home.

I have said this before and I will say it again. How can you expect your woman to cook, take care of the house, kids, pay bills, and lay on her back, and you abuse her ?

So after six months or so I had two people comment about my blog on Domestic Discipline  and just gave me hell up one side and down the other. Even saying I knew nothing of a DD ran home. Well the truth is I do, If you are going to comment at least leave me a way to contact you instead of blocking your blog. You are just wanting to have a one way conversation. You want to say your peace, but you have to have the last word, yea pretty fucked up. You want to start an argument  but not give anyone a chance to respond. Okay I am good with that.

Here are the post.

swl1 11h
The glaring flaw in this entire argument is the completely erroneous assumption that domestic discipline is something that is forced on an unwilling wife by an abusive husband.
In fact it would take only a minimal amount of easy research – I would suggest a few of the two or three hundred public domestic discipline blogs (mostly written by DD submissives) available on the internet as a starting point – to establish the fact that, not only is domestic discipline an entirely consensual private agreement between two adults, but that it is most commonly introduced into the relationship by the submissive partner. It should be noted that one of the operative words here is “adult”, meaning that DD neither extends to any children in the family nor, like the sexual activities of the parents, is the arrangement made known to them. In short, DD involves only the two consenting adults within the relationship and affects or hurts no-one else.
It is also not the case in any shape or form that the submissive partner in a DD cannot withdraw consent at any time if she finds that the dynamic does not work for her. I am sure it is the case that there are many relationships in which a women is forced and intimidated into remaining in a violent and abusive situation, but a consensual domestic discipline relationship is definitely not one of these.
It always surprises me greatly that so many people who would consider it a curtailment of their human rights and freedom of choice if they were told that they must restrict their private lives to the limits of someone else’s approval and desires, can at the same the time and in the absence of any research casually condemn the choices of others.

One other thing. I think that you will find that, in a DD relationship, any ‘hitting’ is confined entirely to spanking the bottom and that split lips, black eyes, etc, do not feature and would be considered abusive and out of place by anyone who practises genuine DD. You might also be surprised to learn that DD, even when used in punishment situation, more often than not has a strong undertone of eroticism (from the D/s interaction) which results in ‘reconnection’ by *mutual* sexual pleasure directly after the spanking.
Finally, while I have encountered a very few individuals who hold rigidly stereotypical views on what they think are typical D/s and M/s relationships, the great majority of people in the DD community, while not necessarily personally desirous of these kinds of relationships, have respect and acceptance for the dynamics and choices of those who do practise them.

Louise 36m
In the vast majority of DD relationships, it is the woman who actively desires this type of relationship, and often has some trouble persuading her husband or boyfriend to try it out. Those where the woman is persuaded into it by the man seem to form a very small minority from what I have read. You don’t really seem to know much about DD at all.
I am guessing both are males, I have yet to have a female post anything positive about a DD relationship. These are all male opinions , just as what I post is my own opinion. I am glad some disagree but please have the balls to let me rebuttal, please leave the door open to let me respond.

I can tell you how my house is ran, it is probably much like a DD ran home. I have rules that are followed, I have put structure into my home, as well as protocols.  I can also tell you that I have never raised my voice to my wife and Slave, I have never hit her nor have I ever talked down to her. My wife is very intelligent , beautiful , and is far from a doormat. I do allow her to speak and share her thoughts and ideas.  We also have a communication based relationship, okay so it sounds perfect, that is because it is.  My wife and Slave will also tell you I have never left a bruise on her.

DO NOT COME TO MY FUCKING BLOG AND COMMENT AND ME NOT HAVE AWAY TO AT LEAST RESPOND. I approved your comments and I replied If you are going to come to my HOUSE and run off at the mouth at least have a little respect.

Now I do understand there are some who are submissive who comment, and do not wish to be contacted, that I do understand. If you are a male commenting on a subject you have deep feelings about and you run off at the mouth, then fucking man up.

THIS IS MY HOUSE

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Vile

Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Breaking Rules, Buddhism, Christians, church, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Domestic discipline. It is Okay to abuse your wife, Dominants, Fear, Master, non-consensual, punish, Punishment, Religion, slave, Spanking, submissive on July 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Ephesians 5:22–24

Wives and Husbands

22 Wives,submit to your own husbands,as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands

1 Timothy 2:12

12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.

In the world or most religions and Domestic Discipline relationships which is based on religion  the above is carried to the extreme.

The women are raised in such an environment and they do not know any better. The men are raised the same and they truly believe what they have experienced and how they run their household is truly Okay.

In most cases the abuse I believe goes way beyond verbal abuse as well as mental abuse. I am sure at times it gets very physical.

I have had several write me in the past who lived in a DD household and experienced the same, so I am just not rambling here. Since this is a small community even three or four women would bring the numbers up to a high percentage.

Domestic discipline is the practice between two consenting life partners in which the head of the household (HoH) takes he necessary measures to achieve a healthy relationship dynamic; the necessary measure to create a healthy home environmental and the necessary measures to protect all members of the family from dangerous or detrimental outcomes by punishing the contributing, and thus unwanted, behaviors for the greater good of the family.

In some cases the above may be true as far as the consenting part, but for the most the lifestyle is handed down from generation to generation. Most of the time the women marry from within the church, or encouraged to date and marry from within. If you are raised in such a way, once you marry you carry certain traits with you, and unfortunately abuse is some of the traits. If you are raised in a home where the wife is degraded and abused on a regular basis, the male son will most likely carry these habits with him. The female knows no different, and when it happens she is probably shocked at that moment, but really has no one to turn to.

People can get so wrapped up in religion they really lose reality, common sense goes right out the window. In their mind there is nothing wrong with knocking your partner to the ground and yelling because dinner is not finished.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/domesticviolence/a/domesticdisc.htm

Those who support the domestic discipline life style believe:

Domestic discipline comes from the bible.

Domestic discipline is not BDSM.

Domestic discipline is non-erotic.

Domestic discipline is an essential part of their relationship.

Domestic discipline is a physical correction from one who truly cares.

Domestic discipline is responsible authority.

Domestic discipline is appropriate punishment.

Domestic discipline requires that there must be total…consent from both parties.

Research on domestic discipline has revealed:

Domestic discipline is based on misinterpretations of the bible. Here is a very good example, if you pick a scripture out of the bible and you take it to different religions the interpretation will be different in each case. When a pastor or preacher reads from the bible he is giving his own Interpretation. Just as a Dominant in a D’s relationship .

Domestic discipline is BDSM.

Domestic discipline is sexually erotic. I believe this to be true from my stand point I do know when I bend Arianna over and I spank during play I get harder than a rock.

Physical correction is not life-giving to relationships.

Spanking a wife as a means of correction or punishment is a control issue and is potentially abusive.

Marriage calls a couple to mutuality, not to punish one another.

http://marriage.about.com/cs/domesticviolence/a/domesticdisc_3.htm

Some believe women want or agree to domestic discipline style of punishment because of guilt over past sexual behavior or because they believe that God through the scriptures has deemed that this is the proper role of a husband.

Perhaps these women have poor self images. Some women find spanking sexually exciting.

The Issue of Domestic Violence Within the Domestic Discipline Lifestyle

The number of battered women in the United States annually is between 2 and 4 million. It is estimated that at least 25% to 30% of American women are at risk of domestic violence during their lifetime.

Such abuse is also devastating to their children who often feel helplessness and blame along with increased anxieties, more aggressiveness, and behaviorial problems.

When there is an attack on a person’s self esteem or physical body, or when one partner becomes dominant in the relationship, the marriage is at risk for divorce.

Using words like punishment when relating to a spouse sets a couple up to become “feet and a doormat.”

The wife turns into a doormat which is only good for wiping feet on. These marriages are doomed to have relationship problems. Some day she will have had enough.

Seek Counseling

If you are in a domestic discipline marriage please seek counseling so that you can make an informed, rational decision about your marriage relationship.

BDSM is not based on a religion, nor has it ever been. I will say there are those Dominants or Master who take things to far. Those are ego driven men who do not have a clue.

BDSM the Dom is in control, he is not controlling, Okay in most cases. The relationship is consensual on both parties, it is not to say that it cannot be consensual in a DD relationship I would imagine there are cases where it is.

In most aspects BDSM is erotic, fulfilling. Those who are submissive or slaves generally have a low self esteem. So we as Dominants help rebuild this is done through positive reinforcement.

I would think that most women in a DD relationship would have a very low self esteem from what I have read there is nothing positive about a DD relationship. To think that a church would back such behavior is beyond me.

While I am Buddhist , and I try to live as such I am not as active as I would like to be. I can say however I do implement much of my beliefs into my relationship. Such as the ability to stay calm and think things out clearly.  To respect myself and others, treat others as I would like to be treated. While I do pray daily it is never for me, it is for my wife , friends and family.

I believe a man should be in control. There is no reason for a man to hit a woman out of anger. How can a man beat his wife, and an hour later expect her to lay on her back. I wonder what the male is thinking about while he is banging her looking down at her black eye, or busted lip.

I learned long ago you do not break your toy. If you break you cannot play with for sometime.

In some cases there are those women who choose to live in a DD relationship and marriage. In BDSM it is a consensual agreement between two adults, no one is forced, if the submissive or slave finds they are being abuse, they simply pack up and leave. In a DD marriage it is not that easy when children are involved and more so when there is a church involved.

I wonder how people can look down on a M’s relationship when it is consensual, and look up to a DD relationship when in most cases it is not consensual.

Take care of your woman, be it vanilla, submissive or slave. Your woman should always come first no matter what. There is not an instance when your partner should come before anyone or anything else.

With out your wife, submissive or slave who are we? what are we?

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Vile