Archive for the Dominant and Submissive Category

Control The Mind Control The Body

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants who suffer from depression, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Train your slave with tags , , , on October 3, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Anybody can bark orders , anybody can intimidate someone into submission , but when you do that you are not getting true submission, it fakes you have absolutely nothing. You can scream , you can lose your temper or the best is using names like you worthless whore , cum dump or you stupid bitch. It goes on and on , you are the dominant at that moment and time. Making someone fear you does not equal service , humiliating someone does not make you a dominant. Forcing someone to have a low self esteem does not make you a dominant. The above you do not control anything you are forcing, and it is only you who needs the self gratification, you need that ego boost and really know absolutely nothing about true submission .

I have spoken in the past about Best slave training , http://bestslavetraining.com/ This is a awesome source of information. Recently I was made group leader of Best Slave Training on Fetlife which is truly an honor.. CuffsMaster the Moderator had taken a leave of absence and others were trying to take over the group. Some had said they tried to reach out to CuffsMaster and received no reply. On Fetlife if a group goes Un-moderated for a length of time , one can petition and take over the group. The funny thing I emailed CuffsMaster and he responded in less than an hour. That would be like well Vile has not posted in over a month and I want to take over his wordpress. I am also the Director of MAsT Kissimmee , which falls under MAsT International. http://www.mast.net/ MAsT International is dedicated to education within the lifestyle and is also world wide.

In other news there is now Thekinkyworldofvile.com which I am really excited about , this will allow me to be more open and practice my first amendment without fear of being shut down as I have been in the past. I was told I was not a real or serious blogger because I use wordpress. The truth be known I am not nor do I consider myself a blogger , what I do is share information so that others may take a little and put my words to good use. Everything I write about and I am by no means a professional writer is about my life, my thoughts , where I was and where I am at now in the present. At times I do share what others have shared meaning I will re-blog something but that does not happen very often. I will use quotes from other sites after asking permission. If the site is old , 5,10, 15 years and I contact someone and I do not get a response then I may post or I may not.

Submission is not giving nor can you take it. Submission is earned and there are steps that has to be taken. Earning trust is a huge factor , trust is not something that happens over night. Training is not something that happens over night.

When I was younger my thoughts of having a naked slave in the house seemed fun , it seemed controlling , there was power but little did I know there was a reason and a very valid reason and years later I would put my thoughts to good use. Out in public my girls are covered. Going out both girls are always dressed better than I am, do not take that wrong because I dress very nice when I go out. Keeping both covered shows respect , and it shows those in the community I have respect for my property not that it matters.

Keeping nude in the house is not a power thing nor is it a ego thing , it is continuous training , it is a mindset a reminder she is a slave. It has little to do with sex although it is there for my taking. Being nude is a high protocol of mine , I speak of protocols often but they are needed. Protocols are not only meant for training they are meant as a reminder. You keep reminding and it keeps your property in that frame of mind.

Many see BDSM as a sex tool , the kink , the spanking , flogging and bondage although those are good benefits but the lifestyle or my lifestyle runs so much deeper. BDSM has changed so much over the past 5 years or so and has turned to more of a kink base. Hey do you want me to tie you up and beat your ass , then you can suck my cock when we are done? There is no emotional contact just physical no meaning , no connection.

Today there are far more what I call true Submissive’s and true Slaves than there are true Dominants or Masters. Years ago it was just the opposite , I suppose things change. I wanted to introduce a Dom to a submissive , I explained she owned her own house , she made 45k a year and looking for a real Dominant. He asked me what she was looking for and I explained not to much , strict rules , complete control and accountability . His words were fuck that. I was like really dude?

Every time I meet a new sub or slave my words of advice is to think with a clear head , know what you need , and do not give in. How often does that work ? Never maybe for the first two hours then its like running down the street butt ass naked. At some point the stupid switch turns on and this Sub frenzy kicks in. You end up falling for the first Dom you meet which 99% of the time is online. My advice is to go out in public and meet people who can relate to you but the answer is always I am to shy or I don’t have time but you have time to turn your cam on and get naked, sending pics of yourself everyday to a man you do not even know. You give your phone number your address , where you work and within a week all of your passwords. WTF? Then you give all of your banking information to someone you hardly know. You have no idea where this guy lives , you have never been to his house , fuck you don’t even know where he works. What makes it sad is you know everything seems wrong , you know you do not want to give out any information but you do it out of fear. The fear of loss is a motherfucker , you fear you will never find another but in reality you are getting nothing out of the relationship with the exception of being used.

To control the mind you must know your slave , you must know their habits , food , movies , music , why the like the clothes they buy. What they fear , love , care about, what gives that cozy feeling. The master should be able to anticipate thoughts , movements and needs without asking.

These guys who spend so much time playing games just to get pussy or their cock sucked are total losers. They have huge egos , and for the most they suffer from depression and have a insecurity problem. Most do not even have a pot to piss in and are under employed.

Get in the mind and you can have anything you want without question….

 

 

Married And Interested In BDSM

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Couples New To BDSM, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on August 21, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Stepping into the lifestyle and being a vanilla couple can be challenging but it can be obtained. I am not speaking of the Dom/sub bedroom only I am speaking of making a huge step into a total different world. The longer you are married the more difficult it will prove to be. The main reason is you already know each other inside and out. You will both need to do hours , days and months of research. Try your best to keep from speaking to others until you both think you have found your place. If you start trying to listening to others it can become confusing because everybody is different , and what works for one couple will not work for another.

Who will take on the Dominant role? Who will take on the Submissive role? Either way both have to decide just how much control one wants to give up and the other how much control one wants to take on.  Are you both looking at Dominant /Submissive , Master and Slave , Daddy/Baby girl who fits where and why?

This is when the time comes to sit down and just start talking crazy, all of those kinky thoughts you have had but you’ve been afraid to say anything in fear of what your partners thoughts might be. The best way is to write everything down a list 1 to 10 starting with the ones you are most interested in. As you bring each subject up talk about it and why you like it or may like it. This is when your fantasy’s come out but you have always been afraid to bring those up.

In my years I have found men are the ones who are most resistant to any kinky ideas and most do not want added responsibility. This is due to the wife cooking , cleaning house , laundry , grocery shopping , paying all the bills , and if you have kids taking care of them.

Some years ago I would only see married women , and there was no sex involved at all. Ranging anywhere from early 30’s to mid 60’s. What took place was bondage , some lite spanking , a lot of humiliation , oh did I mention head , I got a lot of head but according to congress here in the US , oral sex is not sex. You did not think I would take time out of my day and get nothing out of it did you? The bottom line is each Submissive I met had a couple of things in common. One a lack of communication. Two they women were afraid of bringing the topic up. Three when their kink was talked about they were told they were sick get over it.

Discussing what direction you both want to go and again just how far. Our lifestyle is so diverse , there is no end and we are all different. What some may call a D’s relationship others may call it just kink , or while others may call it extreme.

Allow mistakes to happen because they will , you will probably spend hours and hours talking about the progression and the mistakes. There is no need to get discouraged , the important thing is to learn from your mistakes. Allow growth and explore and take notes and talk about things you do not like or your not will to do , put limits in place.

Get out in the community , go to local events there will be a lot you can learn especially when it comes to play , rope but most important impact play, safety is very important.

It is a long road but can be very exciting and the growing never ends… A lot of couples talk but do not talk openly , a lot are not able to share their feelings or thoughts in fear of the reaction they will get.

Why do people cheat ? They cheat because there is something they are missing, and it can be something as simple as communication , a lack of attention , maybe the sex needs to be worked on. Most see see sex as a one way street. With men however the cheating has to do with sex. The wife wont give head or is against anal sex , or maybe just kink. This is why communication is so important. Most people think its easier to just walk away instead of fixing something.. All you have to do is pack up and start all over and most of the time you leave with less than what you started with.

You both may seem lost at times , you may see yourself struggling , but if you both stay vigilant your world will rock.

A good source for information

bestslavetraining.com

Vile

 

Why Not Give Her A Chance

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Dominant and Submissive, Slave, Submissive, Train your slave, training your slave with tags , , , , on August 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was going to blog about something else but as I started this topic came to mind. I have over 2000 post but I do not believe Ive touched on this subject or if I did I am sure this will cover different material.

I had a friend and the key word is had , Arianna and Lynn had met him before a couple of times but in the past two years he has dated some two hundred women and met them on different dating sites. Every women he has met has had something wrong ranging from ADHD , to Depression , Anxiety , and a couple of girls back Asperger’s Syndrome.

Some men or Doms enter a relationship looking for the bad , looking for something wrong. Maybe the way they dress , which you can change , hair which you can change , they way they eat , which you can change , the way they communicate which you can change, their thought process which you can change or if you find nothing wrong at all you make something up.

If you are A Dominant , Master or Owner you have the ability to change anything in your relationship , you can change any of the above , you can alter ones way of thinking , but and there is a but, it will take some time and work on the Doms side , it will mean time invested.

Now this does not mean to be the knight on the White Horse , this does not mean to rescue. This does not mean to have someone dump all their problems on your plate and say hey fix this. If you meet someone and there is a container full of problems and they truly want a relationship you as the Dominant can give direction on how to fix everything but you should not enter any type of relationship until said problems are fixed. If the Submissive truly wants a relationship he or she will take the proper steps to begin fixing things if they are not willing to put forth a effort then drop them and move on , because some broke dick will step in and rescue. If you rescue it will not work , once everything is fixed you are gone.

On a mental level there are just some areas you do not want to step into. This does not mean someone is broke , no one is broke it just means what ever the problem is , is more than you can handle. You also have to look at the medications someone is taking , for instance someone who is suffering from Schizophrenia , I would think it would not be fair to even attempt to bring he or she into the lifestyle. Someone suffering from depression this does not rule out but what medications are they taking and why? It takes time to get to know someone but in out way of life it moves at subsonic speed. Many times you find yourself as a submissive sucking cock on the first date , or being tied up and getting your ass beat or your brains fucked out of you. Yes the first date how in the fuck does this happen? Then within  a day even then after you were fucked you find a collar around your neck and the dude knows absolutely nothing about you but and there is a but that will probably be the last time you wear the collar or maybe just during play.

So instead of just looking for the bad , concentrate on the good , find the good qualities , but more important look at the possibility’s , look at the quality’s , look at the compatibility, but more important what is the potential, look at the potential and what you could see in the future.  Look at how sincere their submission is , listen to their words look at their eyes. What are their goals ? What are your goals? If you look at everything meaning the whole picture you the Dominant may want to invest some time.

Start off small a few rules , give correction if needed , but this in no way means beating someone. You can go much farther speaking with someone adult to adult explaining what was done wrong or why a rule was broken. Barking orders does not make you a Dominant. Someone with good communications skills , someone who can listen , someone who can  give direction when looking out for the relationship.

Seeing potential in someone is very hard if your just interested in getting the pussy. Once you have banged her everything else goes out the window you no longer care because you hunted , you found , and you conquered.

Some are just happy with the kink , some are happy with just having a weekend fuck buddy , but there are many looking for more. Im thinking just how much of your life do you as a male or female want to waste. We as humans are a commodity and as we grow older our value drops. Our value drops each day , each month and each year for those of you who continue to play games. There will come a time when you roll over in bed and find yourself alone.

Seeing potential in someone , willing to invest time in someone can be very rewarding. If you are a experienced Dominant or Master and you put together a good training program , the rewards are not limited. If both are serious and in the right frame of mind , the growing never ends.

I pride myself on my relationship maintaining a drama free home with no problems. Make no mistake managing two can be a task at times but for the most everything just falls into place. Working together as a team makes a huge difference , and communicating. Every night at dinner that is our talk time and no cell phones are allowed , this is when everyone can speak freely about what is on their mind.

Sometimes we fail to see what a submissive or slave has to offer , it goes way beyond the the kink or just having someone around to clean. If your looking for a maid then you should move in with your mother.

Some Dominants you meet are insecure , emotional , and controlling. Those who have temper problems , a Dom who has a temper is a total no , no. Becoming a Dominant is a long learning process and many relationships will fail until you have found yourself and you have found the one who fits you. My advice would be when meeting someone take your time get to know your potential partner. Get to know them as a person and best friend before taking that huge step. Our way of life is so much deeper than just having a BDSM relationship you have to have some type of vanilla in your life..

Depression can be handled , weight can be handled , someone who is insecure can be handled.  Someone who is not organized can be handled , Someone who is emotional can be handled. Most anything can be handled if you the Dominant wants to take on such responsibility’s. Its very important if you start something finish it. Before you start make sure its a task you want to take on. If something does not work right it is on you the Dominant your the one in control , your the one who is training , your the one who makes sure everything stays in order..

If you are in a long distance relationship most of the above does not apply, in order to be in full control you must be able to reach out and touch , if your doing it by phone , or cam your playing a game…

 

My Cocoon And Fucking

Posted in Arianna, ass fucking, ass to mouth, bdsm, Bondage, Dominant and Submissive, Humiliation, Rough Sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Throat Fucking with tags , , , , on June 28, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Some days I sit back and think about how it all started , how over the years I went through this crazy transformation, how I was different and did not really fit in.

I grew up with a very dysfunctional family , always fighting , I mean fighting throwing punches not me but my parents , real hand to hand combat. Addiction to pain pills and binge drinking and yet I still for the most managed to stay mostly unnoticed.

I had no idea where I was going or how I would turn out but I knew what I did not want to be and that was like my parents.

The age of I am thinking 13 we moved to a little hick town one of our many moves and I remember my first day of school the 6th grade. Meeting the principle and him walking me to my first period class. As the door opened to the classroom , my first thoughts were holy fucking shit ,what the fuck have my parents done now ? Crew cuts , cowboy boot , army style hair cuts and overhauls.

My hair was almost to my waist and I was thinking this would never work , now I fit in less. I was right for about the first 6 months , the guys mostly ignored me but the girls for the most was pretty friendly. Sitting in class who ever sat behind me would braid my hair.

I remember one of the guys making fun of me because I had been wearing the same pair of jeans to school for 6 months , again my parents were pretty much useless but at 13 I had to do something about it.

Right across the street from us was a restaurant called the Skyline Cafe a little mom and pop place that was always busy. I walked over one day and asked the owner if there was anything I could do to make a little money. The next day I was washing dishes after school making 2.01 an hour. I started at 2.30pm and worked until 10.30 and still getting up for school. At the age of 13 I was making like 90 bucks a week so it was time to make some changes.

Family Discount , they were good for selling clothes that were seconds , meaning when finished something did not pass inspection. In about 3 weeks I had a closet full of clothes.

At the age of 15 I went to work at a cotton mill , and I was trained to work on a thread machine, now I was making 4.91 an hour and soon 6 dollars an hour making more than either one of my parents. I was working second shift and still going to school and at home I pretty much stayed to myself , locked in my room with my Tv and Boom box.

One day this was a few years back I got nosy and while my parent were gone I went into their bedroom and started going through their stuff not really looking for anything. Then I found this box under the bed full of paperback books. I sit down and started reading and I was thinking holy fuck what the fuck? Books like the daughter next door , the Babysitter, but they all had one thing in common. They are all about nasty degrading fucking. Rough humiliating sex , face fucking , stretching the ass with massive cocks, pulling hair and yes bondage. I fucking struck gold , I took two of the books and off to my room I went. Jumping in bed pulling my pants off and just started reading and jacking off. I now have learned about the birds and the bees. I knew what sex was and , and how a girl wanted to be treated.

Over a short period of time when I first started working one thing I noticed that was different was my confidence it was off the chain. I had changed , I was more out going, more out spoken and could walk up to a girl and strike up a conversation.

My biggest thing was what was called leisure suits with bell bottoms. I had a different color suit for every day of the week , and silk shirts but lets not forget the platform shoes. I felt like a rock star and the feeling was good instead of walking there was somewhat of a strut.

Riding the bus home one day I found myself sitting next to a girl named Beverly , she was not that pretty but had a fucking body that would derail a train. Talking and she invited me over to her house one Saturday. When she answered the door my jaw dropped she was wearing this short tee shirt and nothing under although I did not notice until in her bedroom and she sat one the bed. Here was my chance to put everything I had learned to work after all from reading I knew everything about sex.

Spread your legs so I can see your cunt bitch, the look in her eyes was a true Kodak moment but she did, grabbing her hair and shoving two fingers in her going as deep as I could I started pounding her. Standing up I dropped my pants grabbed her by her and to her knees shoving my cock in her mouth I began fucking her. What a fucking feeling , what a fucking rush. It was like two minutes and I blew my load. Once I let go Beverly sat back and just said holy fuck. I pulled my pants back up and said I gotta go and I just walked out. That was the beginning of my travels , that was the change, that is what got me to where I am today.

The next time I saw Beverly we went into the woods but I had something different in mind , this times I had rope with me and I was looking for the perfect spot , the perfect trees. Ahh there we go I placed her between two trees and told her to get naked. Without any hesitation in a matter of seconds she was butt ass naked. Grabbing one wrist I tied it with rope and attached it to a tree, then the other wrist. Sitting back I got this kinda evil feeling running through me and I walked behind her and took my belt off, remember the books , I knew what she wanted. I stood back and grabbed my belt the buckle in one hand and smack right across her ass then again and again until her ass was blood red and she did not say a word. I walked up behind her puling her ass towards me just bent over a little dropping my pants and I shoved my cock in her pussy yea the first time. Fucking seemed like forever , I guess because my mind was racing, I pulled out and found her ass and right in I went, then it was only seconds I blew my load. As I was fucking her ass I reached up and grabbed her throat and squeezed tight that is when I blew. Stepping back and looking I was thinking what power , I just took what I wanted.

Walking in class I would walk up to her and tell her to meet me behind the gym at lunch. On your knees, I would fuck her mouth cum and tell her to go eat. She always did what I told her and without question.

The bad thing is girls talk so reaching high school I did not date very much. There were a few but those were short lived. One or two outings and I was just ignored until I met Shannon , Shannon was a small little chunky blonde who had a ass sent straight from heaven and there was one thing I knew I had to have it. She had very pale skin and deep blue eyes , very soft spoken , quiet . She like me was a loner we stayed to ourselves , so we kinda hit it off. She to was much like Beverly , but Shannon was different her and I actually talked , played games together you know fun stuff but the sex was fucking incredible I could do pretty much anything I wanted to. Our relationship lasted about a year, there was no bondage just straight out fucking. The mouth , pussy and ass , she really hated being fucked in the ass but she took it. I knew she did not like being fucked in the ass but it was not about her it was about me , so once again I was dumped but it did not matter because Beverly was my go to girl. It felt incredible because I had this sense of power over her. I could treat her like shit and she would come at the snap of a finger. Beverly was my first ass to mouth. Fucking her ass pulling out shoving my cock in her mouth and back in her ass.

As I said my parents were drunks , both took turns going in and out of rehab , both had been hospitalized for drug over dose multiple times.

I was getting ready to turn 17 and a Army recruiter came to our high school , while listening to the spill I had one thing in mind and that was get the fuck out. One friday the recruiter stopped by and picked me up and I went down to take a test , the next week at high school I was told I passed. So I left with a huge file getting home I waited till dinner once finished I started talking about going to camp. I had to talk early because one or both would soon be passed out. Summer camp is where I wanted to go so I put the papers on the table everything marked in yellow , yea just sign here and here and here.

That night I went to a phone booth and made the call telling him my parents had signed everything. October 14th the age of 17 the car pulled up in front of out apartment and off to Atlanta I went. Then a snag , I was like 4 pounds under weight what the fuck ? So I was put up in a hotel room across the street from the famous Fox Theater. 3 days I was fed peanut butter and banana sandwiches. On the 18th I was put on a train headed to Ft Dix New Jersey. I was in for a rude awakening , it was the first time in my life I had truly been scared.

One thing I had learned by then , life was based on two things. That would be choices and consequences.

A whole new life had opened up , once I finished Basic training I was off to Aberdeen Proving grounds. This is where I took a turn for the worse, smoking pot , taking pills and my first experience with Acid. Going to Titty bars at 17 being able to drink , I thought I was all grown up but it would take me several years to regain control.

Two tours in Korea this was my first experience with the world of BDSM I have posted a story about that. Then from Korea I was off to Germany where I met Gretchen , Gretchen was a beverly but only hotter. She had this goth nasty look. visiting a bar that looked like a cave, a singer named Nina was playing that night. Standing at the bar I turned and looked and I thought holy sweet jesus there is a god.  I walked up to her and she just looked at me and for the first time in my life I was speechless. I turned and walked away had a few more beers and walked back over and I just said you are fucking hot here’s a beer and she took it.

Gretchen was only 4’10 and weighed about 85 pounds , and always dressed goth, knee high platform boots with ripped stockings and gloves with no fingers. Jet black hair , and wore dark makeup.

Her and I would go over to a friend of mines place we would all be drinking , Gretchen laying across my lap and I would be fingering her ass , or have her suck my cock while we played cards. Going out when needing a taxi she would call at a phone booth and while waiting she would drop to her knees and blow me, she would even blow me sometimes in the taxi or at a bar.

Jumping ahead a few years I left the Army after serving 8 years. This is when I got slapped in the face. Still drinking , smoking pot and popping pills. Losing my first three jobs. Sitting down one night I thought to myself this is the same road my parents had taking.  So I fixed it I went cold turkey , took a month off to gather my thoughts.

Here I am today life is good and Ive calmed down quite a bit. Ive learned to control my anger. I now think logical , deep and hard before making huge decisions. Ive learned to love and not lust , although the lust does come out in thoughts.

I am now Married to my wife and slave Arianna , and our sister L life could not be any better. Last year my health started catching up to me and I had to make some drastic changes but there has been a huge improvement and it gets better every day.

Just a little more about me , much love to everyone who comes by and more so to those who comment. It may take a few days but I will reply.

 

 

The Power Of Slave Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM Relationships, Dominant and Submissive, Face Fucking, fetlife, Master And Slave, molding your slave, owned property, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on June 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training has to be a need , not a want, if it is just a want it has no meaning. One day a week or so ago Arianna made the comment about the Topic Brainwashing , other topics have been Hypnosis. Both topics were really no surprise as she spends a good deal of time looking for other ways to offer her submission even more than she does now, she continues looking for ways to give up more control.

A TPE relationship or Total Power Exchange is not a easy task and even more so if it is a micromanaged but as time goes on it becomes less of a task and more of a way of life. Generally it takes both about 90 days to get their feet in the ground and well adjusted.

So lets set sex to the side for now and concentrate on the building of a lasting relationship. In the past sex was hard to put on the back burner. Putting sex on the back burner is very important and it is a need in order to build a successful D’s Or M’s relationship.

Training is a need and not a want , I mean the type of need that keeps you awake at night, the need to please someone , the need to give up control. If your needs are met then there are no wants..

Your body and mind belongs to someone else, you are told how to do your hair, the color, nails and how do dress. Sex will be new as well , your told how to suck dick , how to fuck, you become a toy.

Arianna and I spoke at our local munch this past week on the building a TPE , Total power exchange relationship. We love sharing our story on how we met , how we started and how we grew and today we continue to grow.

Sitting back and watching the transformation , the changes not so much at first but then you can see almost on a daily basis. The Slave however in most cases are not fully aware of any changes at all.

Starting out taking small privileges away , things that are cherished such as being able to sit on furniture, being able to sit at the dinner table and sitting on the floor next to you. Giving direct times to shower , using the bathroom asking permission to do anything. The forming of habits it very important , again being consistent on a daily basis , even hourly.

I prefer keeping my property nude while at home , no clothes unless I give the word. This bring on a more humble feeling , the feeling of being exposed. At times depending on the company who comes over determines if I allow clothes or not. Putting restrictions in place on when and where the Slave can sit and permission must be giving before any type of action.

Everything is earned nothing is giving , there are goals put in place and goals must be reached before moving on to the next level of training. Reaching goals there are small rewards, small privileges are giving. What ever is giving depends on your dynamic , your agreement in your relationship after all each is different.

If you the Dominant are going to put rules in place , protocols you have the responsibility to explain everything in full detail so the Slave understands what you are saying. The Slave should be able to ask for clarification if there are still unanswered questions.

Training a Slave or Submissive cannot begin until you know either inside out, you cannot impose any rules without fully knowing the needs.

The Slave is not your mother , the Slave is not your grandmother , if you want a mommy figure then move back home. I pickup behind myself , there are some days I cook and I will explain why.

We expect so much from our property , and you can get to a point to where there is a breaking point , so we as Dominants have to take up some of the load. Every Slave needs down time, a time to relax , clear their head. Get out for the day , see friends or family , go to a movie doing something giving the mind a chance to relax. This also allows down time for the Dominant, because not only do we work but we take care of the home as well. I myself need that time alone just as a Slave does, I need that time to clear my head.

Accountability is huge , there is a lot of meaning behind that word. The Slave has to know they are held accountable for their actions. The Slave has to know there are consequences. The Slave has to know the privileges giving can be taken away at any time. If you are going to punish then punish , you cant bark like a wolf and never attack. Say what you mean and do what you mean and if your going to punish explain in detail why and what punishment you are going to use. However you cannot sit around and watch hoping something is going to go wrong you are setting the Slave up for failure.

Rules are meant for improvement , rules are meant to be followed however I prefer protocols over rules. If enough realistic protocols are in place then very few rules are needed.

Using the Slave , and this has worked for me over the years but more so while in my relationship with Arianna. In the beginning stages of our relationship I made it clear sex was all about me. If she was allowed to cum it was earned and no I was not using Orgasm control, again its about me. The slave gives her self , and giving I mean fully.

You the Dominant when entering a relationship make your needs known upfront, lay everything out on the table, be clear and make sure the Slave understanding. If the Slave states one of your needs is off limits then sit down and talk. At this point you cannot be making any type of demands. If the two of you cannot come to an agreement then you move on. Just as the Slave is looking for the right owner , the Owner is looking for the right Slave.

Watching fifty shades of grey almost made me sick, although the movie is credited to bringing more men and women alive and opening their eyes , and I am sure it has helped some relationships in the bedroom.

The first movie while negotiating their contract Mr Grey gave in to almost all of his needs, the word is need. The second movie when begging for her to come back he got down on his knee almost begging. This showed how weak he was , I was really disappointed.

While the movie was based on being submissive during sex , there was absolutely nothing in the movie about a Dominant or Submissive on how they live on a daily bases, there was no structure , thus having no meaning. The Movie had nothing to do with Master and Slave. To some men the movie was a open door to abuse, some men think all women think that way and that is just not true.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/23/college-student-accused-of-rape-claims-he-was-reenacting-50-shades-of-grey/?utm_term=.93211a13bf53

It is really fucked up how some people think, its fucked up how those who call themselves Dominants and see submission as a form of weakness.

Back to using , once you have agreed to enter a relationship and the terms are made clear you are ready to begin. I find the words making love very hard to use, It is seldom I can even get off in that frame of mind. I have the mindset I am using my property , I am using my property for my pleasure, I am using my property so I can get off. At times I am extremely rough and at times not so much. I love getting my cock sucked , there is not a better feeling and while I try to be somewhat gentle yea it does not end up as such.  I use the term face fucking, I love that gagging feeling , feeling the muscles grabbing my cock. I love anal sex at times I use lube then there are times I go straight from the mouth to the ass or from the pussy to the as. I love ass to mouth, which makes me wonder if banks know what ATM really means. The word again is use , you use your property.

This is something I shared on Fetlife.

I am not into the pain , I am not into humiliation although at times I do believe it is necessary .
I am not into abuse of any kind , be it physical , mental , or verbal.

My slave and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I am .

On our wedding day we also had a collaring ceremony and to this day my slaves collar has never been off.

I am into a well structured home , I am into a drama free home, I am into a problem free home.

I run a very strict home , rules are followed , I have strict protocols in place both are followed without question.

I am into communication I set time aside on a daily basis.
There are no cell phones allowed during any meal public or private.

My slave comes first without question.

To this day we have yet to have a single argument, this is something I take pride in.

I just wanted to say thank you Arianna

I crave the control , I crave the structure , I crave the drama free life , I crave the problem free life, I am living the dream.

I dont want passwords  to accounts that is just fucking childish , if I cant trust you I dont need you. I am far from insecure, however I will take the phone or pad and go through when I feel like it. I think in 4.5 years ive going through Ariannas phone and pad maybe 5 times , Lynn now our third once.  There is a huge difference in being in control and being controlling.

Find your space , find your needs , and find someone who shares the same interest you have..

As A Slave Or Submissive

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Bondage, communication, Dominant and Submissive, Domme, fuck hole, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Low Self Esteem, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Meeting a new Dominant, Slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock with tags , , , on May 14, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Where do you want to be ? What do you truly want ? How do you see yourself in a mirror? What are your goals ? What so you want to accomplish in life ? What are your dreams? Dreams are real , dreams are reachable , dreams can come true. How much work are you willing to put in to make those dreams come true. If you think about it nothing is free , if you sit and wait for something you fall out of the sky you will end up being alone.

Why do you not share the above with a potential Dominant or Master , maybe a Domme? Why would you put your life on hold for one man or woman ? A good Dominant will stand by you , a good Dominant will push you to accomplish everything on your list , he will push you and push you hard because he as well knows nothing is free. Those who keep you locked up away from family and friends is selfish. The Dominant who keeps you isolated lives in fear of you leaving , he does not trust , he does not want anyone else influencing you. He wants to be the word the only word you listen to. The Dominant has a low self esteem, and all of this equals abuse and nothing more. The abuse may not be physical , but it is mental and physiological. This does not include just the lifestyle this happens in a everyday vanilla relationship. Calling you names , screaming at you , spitting on you. You feel as if you can do nothing right and this is where he wants your mind to be.

The I can fix you Dominant , what he is saying is all of the above , because the truth of the matter is very few want to take on such a responsibility .

Sex is no longer fun because you are seen as a object you feel like a object and while your being fucked you just want it over so you can go shower and wash his stench away. You cook , you clean , you do laundry , you pick up behind him , in fact you do everything his mother did , with the exception of fucking.

You spend more time sucking cock than you ever have , your mouth is just another hole. He blows his load and gets up and leaves. You spend more time laying on your back taking what he gives and you get nothing out of it. You are punished for no reason , the rules change on a daily basis without notice. You take pain because you think your suppose to, as you lay in bed and glaze at the bruises , wondering how in the fuck did you get here?

A true statement there are many who continue to make the same mistakes expecting different results. There are those who are only interested in the bad boy look but you are treated the same way time after time, until it becomes the norm.

Older single Dominants tend to flow towards the young subs and slaves. This is purely fantasy and nothing more. What does a 50 year old Dom have in common with a 18 year old sub? He is more interested in getting his dick sucked and fucking than he is looking out for your future. Why is this you ask ? Well just read the above or maybe just maybe you already know its true because as I am typing this you are living this very life.

You think you are just a fuck toy , you believe you are meant to be used anyway he sees fit. You believe you have no rights when in fact as a submissive you have the right to say NO , but you live in fear , in fear of being alone , in fear of not being able to take responsibility of your own life, being able to live on your own. If you stay it will only take a few years to realize how many dreams have slipped though you hands and you believe everything is your fault because you are told this daily just how worthless you are.

Family and friends are a important part of your life these are people you have more than likely known your whole life but now you find yourself alone standing before one and one only.

Before meeting your new Dominant you have so much information to share but this is put on hold before even meeting. He is more interested in the shortest skirt you own, do you wear high heels, how often do you go without panties? You are told what to wear , you are told there will be no eye contact, you are told he will order for you, and for the encore you will suck his cock in the parking lot and you both leave. You spent maybe a hour and a half eating and listening you only got a few words in. You leave after taking a mouth load and he knows absolutely nothing about you with the exception you suck a good dick.

You have put your life on hold , you have put your education on hold your dreams on hold and if you think your going to end up with the little white house with a fence around it with a dog and kids you need to slap your face. You have put your whole life on hold because you were afraid to express your feelings , you were and are intimidated.

If you are active in the lifestyle you will notice there are way more single Doms than there are subs and slaves. These Doms have been single for a very long time and you ask why? Because they fall under the above they have watched 50 shades , read stories , watch porn , read stories and that is how they see the lifestyle.

At some point you have to be friends , at some point a little of that vanilla has to come out but maintaining the same level of respect. You have to be able to sit and talk , you have to be able to communicate.

The sex is fun , the bondage is fun , the spanking is fun , the slapping , being pissed on , humiliated all of this can be fun but in the end you have to be best friends. You have to be able to talk as adults , you have to be able to express your feelings , your thoughts and concerns.

I love dinner time , the three of us sitting on the back porch eating , no cell phones, this is our time to talk. Both ask permission to sit, both wait on me to take the first bite before they begin to eat. Then comes my question directed at Lynn. Is there anything on your mind that you would like to talk about? Those words open a very deep conversation between the three of us. This is the time to air everything , thoughts and concerns, we also talk about schedules and things the girls would like to do and on what days. Both have a calendar , everything is planned out a month in advance. Both sit down together filling it out , buying little stickies and stuff to decorate.

I am in full control of my home , I know every move each make , both have mileage note books everything is logged leaving and destination and at times ill ask one to bring it in and leave it for a day, and when I get time I will look through it. I allow no drama into the home, I handle problems before they become a problem.

There is one difference , I give each free time , time to wind down be with friends and family but they both understand what is giving is a privilege and it can be taken away at any time…  Everything is a privilege , everything is earned nothing and I mean absolutely  nothing is given.

I support both in anything they want to do, I listen , we talk and when we talk it is a open discussion, but I can only make a informed decision based on the information given to me.

You must always come first no matter what. Your dreams , your feelings , your thoughts , your life must always come first without question….

You can paint your own future.

Also visit

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

 

A Slave Needs Down Time

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, Dominant and Submissive, fucking and sucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Insecure Dominants, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Self Pity, Slave, Submission, Submissive, submissive or slave has rights, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , on April 18, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at a munch 3 or 4 months ago there was a topic on relationships , the different types of Doms and submissive’s. Asking Arianna what type of Master I was she said I was like the Rock star , meaning the way I am treated.

Speaking with someone else the topic come up about men helping around the house and I said I do stuff. I was then asked what I did and my mind went blank.

Think Vile , my mind was going crazy and I came back I just do stuff ok drop it. Driving home with Arianna and Lynn , just out of the blue I said I do stuff ,Arianna replied yes you do Master.

On my days off I love cooking , when I cook it is something special , I generally spend the day preparing and cooking. So yes I do stuff leave me alone.

Then we turn the page and we look into our submissive’s life our slave , our property. If you the Dominant would just take a moment and sit down and reflect on just how much your submissive does and gives it might just give you a different perspective.

We want everything just right, we want everything in place, we want our glass full at all times. Then comes the kink , the bondage , fucking , getting head. We use when we want , how we want , where we want.  With me my sex life is like HBO on demand , I take when I want anyway I want, at anytime I want and any hole. We as Masters want to be able to snap our fingers and BOOM its done. We want rules followed , protocols , and we punish when something goes wrong.

Arianna and Lynn has a calendar and it is filled out daily I keep track of everything. There are also request days , usually a month out. These are days I give for both to be able to go out and let go , relax , clear their heads.

One of the most important is family , I am Master but family comes first no questions asked. Friends come into play everybody needs friends and our property deserves that time.

There is a breaking point , kinda like running a race horse till it drops, not giving it any down time , running it into the ground until it just drops. You stand above wondering what happened.

I need down time , I need to be able to clear my head , I need to relax , sit down and blog while jamming out to AC/DC Live at the river plate. Pouring myself a nice brandy firing up a good cigar on the back porch..

I am not meaning to get under anyone’s collar but to keep your property locked up 24/7 is not fair and if you do there will come a time when you wake up alone. It is not fair to keep your property from their family and friends.

There are only a few types of Dominants who would not allow downtime , free time, time to see family or friends. You are talking one day a month really and you are that concerned ?

The Master is insecure , the Master is controlling , the Master does not trust. The Master has a ego problem. I am going to guess it is the first being insecure.  Being insecure can cause a lot of problems down the road again your property is going to take only so much.

We want our dick sucked on demand , we tell to spread not ask , bend over I want the ass. We use different object , toys really anything we want. So why is it not fair to give that down time?

I control everything , hair color , hair length , nail polish , fuck even makeup. I control what both wear , I control shoes , everything is on my dime, everything is on Viles watch , Viles time.

I am secure , I trust , if I cant trust I don’t need you. If you fuck around you need to make sure he is the one you want because that is who you will be living with.

If you cannot trust why in the fuck would you of even entered a relationship? It makes no fucking sense to be spending so much time wondering who your property is fucking or blowing. If the cheat you know , you have to know if you know your slave .

If you are taking care of business you have no worries. If you are insecure , if you do not trust , if you keep locked up 24/7 then you have something to worry about. It is not a question of how or why it is a question of when. There will come a time when your slave says fuck this shit I am done.

You the Master wants 100% at all times no questions asked , the bad news is we as Masters have to give back 200%, yup we have to give back more than we take.

Keep pushing that button and one day the spring will break and you will have to replace it…  Keeping someone locked up 24/7 is abuse, you might as well beat their ass. If you are insecure works on your issues figure out what is wrong… Do not make your property suffer because you have short Cummings….