Archive for the Dominant Category

It has been 10 years On WordPress

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submissive with tags , , , on May 28, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

Eight years here on wordpress sharing my thoughts, my ideas, my life but the majority of my blog is about abuse. I am huge on consent , consent means everything. I ama huge advocate when it comes to abuse and it can go either way but mainly towards females. Abuse come in many forms, from mental to verbal abuse but the kicker is physical. No man or Dominant should lay a hand on a female out of anger.

So you get angry and slap you slave around a little , black a eye, bust a lip and then a hour later you expect her to lay on her back and pretend to enjoy. Then comes the promise comes I will never hit you again and he starts to cry maybe shedding a tear and you break down out of guilt and forgive.  Once a man lays a hand on you no matter how many times he states he will never do it again he will and each time it will get worse.

While the emails have slowed, I still get from time to time where a slave has giving all of her passwords to her master she just met a few weeks back, to only wake up one morning to find her bank account empty. The bad thing is you don’t even know who this man is or where he lives because he would never share any information with you.

Domination through fear is a manipulative way to get a novice slave to submit. The isolation not letting you go anywhere, or see family and friends because he tells you he is the only friend you need.

I talked about my growing up, my family grew up poor and for most of my life we lived in government housing. Both of my parents spent more time in rehab than at home or working. I learned at a very young age I was going to be better that both parents and at the age of 13 my first job was washing dishes at a place called Rosies diner.  I made 2.05 an hour but at the end of the week it was my money and I spent it on me. At 14 just turning 15 I went to work at a cotton mill in Canton Ga working 3rd shift where I made 2.75 an hour. After work I went to school during the day and slept after. At the age of 16 a Army Recruiter came to our high school and I talked to him and he explained when I turned 17 with my parents consent I could join the Army. October 14th I brought paper work home and explained I wanted to go to baseball camp but I would need their approval. They both happily signed. October 19th I was on a train going to Ft Dix New Jersey.

Arriving in Korea and 18 year olds paradise , there was pussy everywhere , all shapes, sizes , kinks , and fetishes, and for around 20.00 you could eat, get drunk and fuck . Although I learned about kink early on from paper back books I had read, Korea was my first real experience into the world of BDSM. This was mid 1980 and I met a Korean Soldier named Kim, come to thank of it most Koreans were named Kim. In 1980 a Roc Soldier made 5.00 dollars a month. Kim and I became close and when I got paid I would by a carton of Kents. Most Koreans for what ever reason Liked Kents and I could never figure it out but a carton would set me back 7.00 dollars.

Kim invited me to a live show one night and I sat there amazed and I could feel the click. I thought to myself this is my way of life. My first mentor at the age of 18, this is where I learned the importance of listening and communication but I also learned the art of manipulation not by teaching but turning things around in my mind.

I then moved on to Germany which at first I did not really like, but the people for the most were really nice and the beer kicked ass. This is also where I was introduced to Hash. I was still taking pills just about anything I could get my hands on looking for that next high.

I met Gretchen in a small pub downtown Wiesbaden right on the Rhine river and if you ever get the opportunity to take a tour it will blow your mind.  Although in my early teens I kinda of knew what kink was by the books I read, Gretchen took it to the next level. Waiting for a bus sitting she would just start giving head and while people were walking by or in the back of a taxi. Gretchen is also responsible for my name Vile and I have blogged about that but it stuck with me after I left Germany.

My exit from the military forced me to make changes , the first change was the drugs. Having lost my first two jobs due to drugs and drinking , I stopped cold Turkey and never looked back. I knew I wanted to be better than my parents and by this time we had fallen out and there was no communication at all. You learn in order to move forward in life you have to rid yourself of toxins and at times this can or will have to include family.

Moving on from 1986 my exit from the military, I could not tell you or give you a number when it comes to the women I had dated and used. Remember the manipulation I spoke about above, well I put it to work to only benefit me. I did not understand the hurt or trouble or the effect it had on others , the only thing that mattered to me was getting off. Pussy and more pussy, it was like a gunslinger putting notches in his gun belt. However later down the road I realized something and that was most mornings I woke up alone and very seldom did the girl from the night before want to see me again. Without the internet it made my hunt very hard but again this is where the manipulation came in at. One thing I was good at and I played to my advantage was reading people and if I could get 15 minutes conversation in she was mine.

 

Moving ahead a couple of years, I took a job driving a taxi and Limo part time. I was liked and the owner of yellow cab gave me dedicated runs that averaged 150.00 a day plus my regular pickups. Sitting on a stand on day this old man in another cab pulled up, he looked like a pissed off santa clause. I said hey whats up ? He came back with fuck you and I thought wow. He said his bitch was at home chained up and was deciding if he should go and unlock her after all it had been 3 days. His real name was Animel and after a month or so I kinda latched on. I had never asked him to mentor me but he would share information with me, some I agreed with and some I discarded as it did not fit my way of life.

The life between him and his slave was consensual but the two did not look like a couple, he was some 30 years her senior.

A few years down the road Animel had a triple by pass , then another by pass allwith in a month of each other. His slave had moved back home due to a family illness so I decided to move in and take care of him. I lived with him for a couple of years until I took a job some 30 miles away, so I moved out but stayed in contact with him. I am not sure what happened but we kinda drifted apart until one night I received a call telling me he had passed away and people had stolen everything he had.

Moving on to about 2009 and I had truly found myself , taking some time just for me and figuring out who I was and what I needed to complete my life.

I had a complete list and this list included not only my needs but wants, the slave would have needs. As long as needs are met there really are not any wants, but now you are thinking hey you have wants? Yes I do but the difference is , it is my house and the rules are mine.

I dated probably 30 to 40 slaves not submissive’s but slaves and the deal breaker was with most was not wanting to wear a collar in public around friends, family and work. What I was looking for was a more service orientated slave, someone who was dedicated in taking care of their owner. While I do enjoy kink and bondage I truly thrive off of a well structured home.

The collar to me is very sacred and a sign of ownership and devotion. It really surprised me at the amount of no’s I received and when asked if that was a deal breaker I replied yes.

After almost two years I had made arrangements to move to the Philippines and live out the rest of my life, I had a job lined up and a place to live. The truth is I had giving up on my search and just said fuck it im gone.

Watching Law and Order I received a call from another dom and stated he wanted to introduce me to a slave, he said he thought we would hit it off. I explained my situation but agreed to email her. We emailed back and forth , then we began to text and then the meeting.

When Arianna exited her SUV and I had a full body view, my thoughts were, fuck me with a chain saw.

This June will be our 6th Anniversary and life continues to get better and better..

Vile

 

 

 

 

2020

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, pandemic, Slave with tags , , , , on May 17, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

What a fucking year so far, who would of ever thought entire economy’s would be shut down? The whole world has come to basically a stand still with record numbers out of work and while we are being told there is a light at the end of the tunnel, it seems like the tunnel is just getting longer.

Who do I blame ? This is just me but I cannot pin point any one or any country, shit happens. There is really not one country in the world who was truly prepared , looking at Italy , Germany, the UK and so many more.

I am not going to go on a political rant here because my blog is not the place and over the last 8 years or longer I have never brought politics up.

My slave and I are just fine, when the shit hit the fan I took the steps to protect my home. I started making the necessary calls to shore things up and put things on hold until this crap blew over. So while the economy stopped so did 3/4’s of our bills, again this is what the head of our house does, we keep our family safe.

My slave Arianna was furloughed from her job of 20 years and it has really hit her, but my thoughts were the down time is really good for her. She has good days and bad days, she has days when she is stressed and her mind is traveling at mach speed then she has days when she is mellow and all is good.

The one thing that has not changed is her service to me, the service never stopped and I want for nothing. The only thing that has really changed is her oral service, she is not use to twice a day but she continues to go with the flow.

I do appreciate her service in all areas and when she is having a bad day I leave her be and just let her chill. We have a Lani and I gave that area to Arianna so she would have a private place to go. She can clear her thoughts, she can write , or her and Lynn play games and read fairy cards.

I work from home and this what ever it is has only made my job much harder and complicated and by the end of the week my brain is fried. My  normal days off are Thursday and Friday but recently I was giving Saturday and Sunday off because of my stats. I felt pretty guilty when that was announced in our team meeting and the scores were brought up. Just so everyone knows Vile has kicked everyone’s butts for the past 90 days and a forth month coming and I am still kicking ass. Out of 25.000 employees I am at 78 and would of been higher but I have missed a lot of work due to being sick and my computer getting locked up and had to wait on a replacement. 98% of the time I am in the top 20 of 25.000. Every month I send a private message to the supervisor and ask , hey who is leading the team this month? The only answer is you. This month I asked again and the reply I got was really? Once a month our company publishes stats and breaks down by teams, then supervisors which each supervisor has 6 teams and the the line of business. There had been several months the stats had not been published and I complained and complained until they were but all names were blocked out except mine. It seems most did not want their stats published because of the low numbers. My thoughts are if your numbers are that bad then fix them.

Arianna and I have been watching A Handmade’s Tale and while Arianna likes it I love it. I love the concept of most of it but as in all things there are good and bad.

 

Much Love to everyone, and stay safe..

Vile

The Truth About Roman And Hims Erectile Dysfunction

Posted in bdsm, Dominant, E.D. treatment, Getroman, Hims, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Sexual Health, submisive, Submission, Testosterone on February 18, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You see the Tv adds about Roman and Hims promising to cure your erectile dysfunction with a private telephone doctors visit for only 15.00 Then you have a monthly subscription of about 17.00 dollars a month if you keep it going then you add the price of the medication.  Both promise a cure to make you more Manley but what both promote is not true you are being ripped off.

You can take the little blue pill and get hard but one key ingredient is missing and that is your train of thought. You can be rock hard but if your mind is not into it there is no enjoyment. So I am going to share with you some cheaper alternatives that most if not all can afford and get results.

First lets talk about Roman

Transparent Pricing

Always

 

 

Free deliveries and no hidden fees


With the Ro pharmacy network, get free 2-day shipping in discreet packaging that we pack and ship ourselves. No more trips to the pharmacy, waiting in line, or unexpected costs.

The total price of your treatment plan may vary based on number of doses and shipping frequency. Complete an online visit to see if prescription treatment is right for you.

This is correct the pricing is up front and what seems really cheap is not really cheap. Roman also starts out with a 17.00 dollar a month subscription, this is the starting point

Then we get to the medication and the pricing and you will see it is really not that cheap.

 

Sildenafil

20mg 2.00 a pill

40mg 4.00 a pill

60mg  States most common 6.00 a pill

80MG 8.00 a pill

And 100MG 10.00 dollars a pill

Generic Viagra

25mg 34.00 a pill

50mg Still 34.00 a pill

And 100mg which I would recommend.  and 34.00 a pill.

Branded Viagra

25mg 70.00 a pill

50mg 70.00 a pill

100mg 70.00 a pill

Generic Cialis

This is the medication I now take daily 5mg

2.5mg 11.00 a pill

5mg  11.00 a pill I take one 5mg daily. Cialis stays in your system up to 36 hours.

10mg 44.00 a pill

20mg  44.00 a pill. I am not sure where the 20mg comes in because 10mg is the max a day.

Now these prices are per pill so you have to decide on how often you want to have sex.

Testosterone Support

Created by doctors, backed by science. You can’t get this blend anywhere else. Every active ingredient is backed by studies showing improvement in at least one area of male virility.

Get $15 off your first order
Available monthly ($35/mo.) and quarterly ($87/3 mo.)

First there are no pills that can help you reach your desired level and be able to maintain those levels. Again there are no pills and nowhere does it say FDA Approved nor does it say where their test were done or what the outcome of the test were.

Add the above along with the subscription to testosterone  support. Yea that can really hit your wallet pretty good when it is all said and done.

 

Now on to Him’s

 

How much does HIMS cost?
Hims subscriptions start at about $20 a month, although prices vary. For example, a hair-loss kit with pills, shampoo, topical treatment and vitamins costs $44, while for erectile dysfunction, a monthly supply of Sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, costs $30 a month
Now we add the cost of the medication as follows . If you can navigate the site trying to find pricing I will have to admit it was pretty hard. You cannot get upfront pricing without filling out the questionnaire for the free doctors visit. However there is a review I found where a customer was rejected because of the questions that were not answered.
The price he was quoted was 10 20mg pills for 30.00, now most take 50mg when it comes to viagra.
So here is the low down on what these companies are not telling you and the truth is they care more about your wallet than you.
I see a Urologist every 6 months this is mainly for blood work checking stuff like my Hemoglobin making sure the count is not to high. I give blood once a month through a prescription and the red cross loves me.
Testosterone is a bi-weekly shot my slave gives me in my butt. I remember the first time she gave me a shot she almost passed out, and do not worry guys it does not hurt.
Testosterone is a hormone produced by the human body. It’s mainly produced in men by the testicles. Testosterone affects a man’s appearance and sexual development. It stimulates sperm production as well as a man’s sex drive. It also helps build muscle and bone mass.
Now the cost for a 90 day supply on Good RX
Walmart 2 vials (10ml) of testosterone cypionate 100mg/ml

Discount Price $38.18 .. This is a 90 day supply

Now onto the Cialis

Winn-Dixie90 tablets of tadalafil (Cialis) 5mg

Discount Price $33.83.

You can take daily or take like Monday , Wednesday and Friday then two if you want to go all night. I take daily and if the wind blows you get hard

So as we age our Testosterone levels drop and by age 45 or 50 we can be in the low 200’s. You are tired all the time , no energy and then sex seems like a lot of work. Your mind is really not into it. You can take a pill and get hard but it is your frame of mind and this is where Testosterone comes in. You will not believe the results after the first shot.

Our insurance covers the Testosterone but does not cover the Cialis but who cares right?

If you did not use Good RX a 90 day supply would cost you are 870.00 dollars. How in the fuck do they do that?

The same with hair loss you can buy over the counter products much cheaper than Hims’s or Get Roman.

Testosterone has a lot of advantages when it comes to your health but you will also read some negative reviews but mostly from those who abuse the product..

You can reach me at

I_Vile_Own_Her

On Fetlife hit me up.

Vile

The Novice Dominant

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Slave training, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Dominant in Training, Novice Dominant, oral sex, sex, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock with tags , , , , on February 16, 2020 by thekinkyworldofvile

You watched Fifty Shades and when you woke up the next morning you were ready to dominate the world.  You want a slave to serve you but most of all you are thinking only about sex. Your mind is racing about the thought of endless pussy.

You join all the kinky websites such as fetlife , you create a profile with nothing written and post a Dick pic of yourself. This is because you think your dick will draw women to you but in reality you are clueless.

You begin to send out random messages like Hey whats up? A few days go by and your mail box is empty and you cannot figure out why. You end up liking hundreds of pictures and you are following hundreds but your mail box is empty. You post in a few groups and get blasted for running of at your mouth. This is because you wrote a check with your battle ship mouth that your tugboat ass could not cash. You are angry at people because after all fetlife is a kinky site right?

If you by chance start a conversation with a experienced dominant you brush off most of what he says and you continue down the same road because your mind is driven by kinky sex and pussy.

Even before fifty shades you dated some but for the most you remained single. Probably the life of the party but in reality you do not have very many true friends. Your opinion of women is very low and have used through out your years and at times even abusive.

You are the predator , you are the danger and when and if you do get a chance to hook up with a novice submissive you expect sex and you take it. This does not make the moment consensual it makes it rape. You get angry when you message and there is no reply and still you do not understand the damage you have done.

Even if you are the harmless dominant or want to be dominant you still do not listen because pussy is running your life and you think that the women you contact are only interested in sex.

There are some who want to be dominant , there are some who want a slave but your just not cut out for the lifestyle and yet you will blame everyone else. You refuse to take a few minutes and look at yourself in the mirror to see the real you.

These habits are probably stemming from your childhood , either a single parent , or from abusive parents. Maybe or maybe not towards you, you could of just witnessed the abuse. Either way instead of getting help you continue tyo walk the destructive path.

Then we have the married vanilla who watched fifty shades or maybe not but you are stuck in a dull sexless marriage. Sex maybe if you are lucky once a month or less, and you are sex driving. When you do have sex your wife feels like it is a chore and while you are fucking her she acts like you are the king of the world. You crawl off in about 3 or 4 minutes and it is back to the same o same o.  You want to fuck your wife in the ass so bad but nope she will not go there, or you want her to suck your dick and nope she will not go there, but you knew this before you married.

The dominant who are new experience something a new submissive or slave does and it is called sub frenzy. Their mind is traveling a hundred miles an and will listen to no one when asking for advice. The subs end up getting hurt in some form be it physical or mental. The new dominant ends up in short lived relationships trying to figure out what the fuck happened. The new dominant is focused on two things and two things only and that would be pussy and kinky sex.

Growing up there was one thing on my mind and that was pussy. While in school I was known for being kinky and sadistic so my options were mainly open to one girl. As I grew older I knew something was wrong but could not pin point it and it was not until my late 40’s did I realize I had it all wrong.

The novice dominant is much like the novice submissive, there is one speed and that is wide open. There is no advice that will work and will continue asking for advice until they get the answer they want.

I was speaking with someone the other day about sex, and I explained it is my belief many who are new to the lifestyle or maybe not but many of the subs out there have sex because of pressure. The submissive believes it is what is expected. There could be some fear as well, the fear of losing out on a relationship. Most of you know what happens when you tell a male no to sex right? Then the begging comes in, the excuse on how the two will be bonded, how it will make the relationship stronger.  Then once you spread your legs it is game over you are had.

The dawn of the new dominant ages ranging from 18 to about 38 or so and at times older. The definition of BDSM has changed a great deal, the lack of respect, the lack of responsibility, the lack of seeking a true relationship and the list goes on and on. Then you meet a dom and ten minutes into the conversation he pulls out a collar from the local pet store and wants to own you, well for the next week or so.

You can find me on Fetlife

I_Vile_Own_Her

Vile

 

 

 

Total Slavery

Posted in abuse, adapting, Anger Issues, bdsm, Behaviior Modification, Behavior Modification, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, owning a slave, Safe and Sane, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Slavery, Total Submission, Uncategorized on November 12, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

As a young Dominant we dreamed of owning a slave , keeping them in a cage , feeding and using when ever we wanted. Although most never reached that dream for those who did I am sure reality kicked in finding it was not possible after all. Most young slaves just entering the lifestyle had this fantasy but once reality hit it turned into a nightmare .

Being able to maintain the strictness of what you dreamed at one time would be extremely difficult , this is due to time , life and working. Today it is almost impossible to have a one income home unless you are a billionaire but if you lived in a trailer you would be a creep. Then you have medical you have to worry about after all you agreed to take care of your slave right?

Love is a motherfucker and if not careful it can cause misjudgement and gilt will hit you. Once this happens you start to lose control. Once you have lost control there is no turning back. It is almost like a car out of control during a heavy rain.

The general public for the most looks down on our way of life , many see it as abuse and again  if you google BDSM you see porn , you see men and women being what it looks like abused.

How ever there are those who have the need to be under someones wing , someone who can guide them. Many professionals still today see being submissive a sickness. but if they would actually listen and not judge their thoughts might be different. Many say they understand but how can that be if they have never lived that role?

What type of master are you ? How much responsibility do you want to take on ? How much control do you want ?

Looking over some post on Fetlife got me to thinking , those who are having trouble finding a partner , but the real story is those who are seeking a lifestyle relationship are looking in the wrong places.

Times have changed and so have people some for the better but then you have those who feel entitled. Everything should be giving and nothing earned. If you are giving a car as a child you do not appreciate it as you would if you worked and paid for it out of your own pocket.

The one who will not go out with you is the one you are afraid to ask out. Most men stay clear in fear of rejection but rejection means nothing , their loss your gain. If you are going to Wally’s Bar and Grill on Friday night looking for the one then you need a different plan.

To be a slave , to be property has to be a need and not a want , if it is just a need then training will never be effective.

A friend of mine Malkinius wrote a book called ” I Can Do This ” and it is available on Amazon.

The book starts out with a slave wanting to be trained and the first thing that is done the slave is stripped of everything. Clothes , watch , purse and yes cell phone , everything is taking and the slave enters the house naked.

Putting the slave in their place is the first step and although you will take the phone you should allow time during the day to check email , text and so on but very limited time. You direct the slave around the house and point where they may and may not sit. It was over a year before my slave was allowed to sit on any of my furniture. At the dinner table she sat at my feet to eat dinner. This will include bath time , bed time, preparing your meals and coffee in the am if you drink coffee.

Your main objective as a master is to make your life as easy as possible but there is a catch and the catch is if you expect 100% from your slave you have to give back 150% at all times. The training must remain consistent , hourly and daily. You set rules and protocols but with the rules they have to be obtainable.

 

Behavior Modification

https://www.kinkly.com/definition/6612/behavior-modification

Behavior modification is a type of consensual domination practice that involves changing undesired behaviors into more desirable ones by using reinforcement or punishment. For example, a Dominant would use behavior modification techniques to encourage a submissive to use proper titles (like Sir or Madam) at all times.

Behavior Modification is something I have been very successful with using. While the slave goes through a transformation in many cases the changes are so small the slaves does not even know.

If you enter the relationship as a dominant or submissive , master and slave the transition is more obtainable and in most cases the transition is very smooth. If you are moving from lets say a daddy and baby girl to a D’s or M’s relationship I do not believe it is possible. I also want to add using this technique must be a need and not a want. The submissive has to want to be a submissive and the same with the slave.

Behavior Modification must also be consensual while the slave must have a idea of what it going to take place the slave must also consent to such changes. Such training if not meant to be long term can be damaging to the slave , I am speaking about the mental aspect of the modification.

While you explain what you are going to do you never give a reason , you the master does not have to explain yourself. While explaining something when finished ask if there are any questions , this is the time to make things clear but again you never have to explain yourself and do not allow such behavior.

Use and use often and the most effective way is to use without notice. If you want to fuck put the slave on their back , get it done and walk away. If you want your dick suck just walk up and put your dick in the slaves mouth. Again all of this is made clear before you enter the relationship , again the word consensual.

If you have anger problems you need to rethink your lifestyle , as a master you need to remain calm , cool and collective at all times. You are the master , the owner , why would you raise your voice or argue with your slave , think about that word , Slave.

It is funny you can ask someone for a good reason why two people would argue and no one can answer that question. Arguments stem from a lack of communication. You also need to let it be known you the master can only make a informed decision based on the information giving to you.  Many slaves come from broken relationships and they can even be making that transition from a vanilla relationship. The last thing the slave needs is to be yelled at or put down.

Egos if you have a ego problem you need to open the trash can and get rid of it. A ego has not place in a M’s relationship and will set you up to fail. You are no different from the guy next door , the only difference is your lifestyle. You are no better than the person who only makes 20K a year compared to your 100K a year.

The final word

Sit your potential slave down , explain what you need and want out of a slave and listen to the slaves needs. Make your expectations clear , make your goals clear for the short term and long term..

Check out my slaves blog

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

Fetlife you can find me

 

https://fetlife.com/users/1322593

 

Vile

 

 

 

 

Imagine A Perfect World

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, commitment, communication, Dominant, In Service Slave, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on December 29, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Imagine a world without any problems , or imagine a world with the perfect partner , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , is it possible ? Imagine having zero drama , imagine no arguing , imagine receiving perfect service with no complaints , again is it possible ? Absolutely it is and more but with all of these rewards comes a little work.

The submissive or slave you have chosen to serve you was born to serve just as you the Dominant , Master or Owner were born to lead . Little did we know it would lead us down the road of kink.

Just because you meet a slave does not mean the slave is meant to be with you. Both have to have somethings in common outside of the land of kink and service , if not kink will be the only thing you have in common and the relationship will be short lived.

Knowing the slave , knowing the slave inside and out is very important before taking that step.  You have to be able to form a relationship based on friendship first , then slowly introducing kink.

If you start with kink then you have nothing else to build on , making conversation hard , making communication hard and it makes it hard for the slave to communicate when the time comes.

Nothing comes easy , everything we have we all had to work for. In a relationship if we do not work for it , at some point and time it will fall apart. Any type of relationship requires regular maintenance , if we do not in the end it will fail.

Learning to communicate is not an easy task , we all know how to talk and hear but to be able to communicate and listen requires practice but most of all it is something you have to be passionate about.

The problem with most D’s or M’s relationships just starting , is the lack of compatibility. If either have a need or needs and you give one or more up during the negotiations , in the end you will not be happy. Just because you are submissive does not mean you have found the right Dom and you can reverse that as well. As humans it is a need to have a companion and at times we tend to settle for less knowing its not going to work.

Try to picture a perfect world , your own world , a world you have complete control over , then you add the perfect relationship and both are attainable.

Meeting leaving sex out of the conversation is a must , and while it is hard to do it will prevent you from reaching your goal.  Knowing who you are trying to form a relationship with is most important. The problem is most men see someone who is submissive as weak and that is far from the truth. Men are natural hunters , the hunt then the kill and its over you move to the next.

I cannot stress enough on how much training will make a difference. One of the first words out of a Doms mouth is I am going to train you , then nothing happens. Training is mental not just for the submissive but the dominant as well. The training you used on the last will not work with any future relationships. The personality’s are different , the needs are different and the structure needed.

Making your slave your number one priority , the slave comes first and yes before family and friends. The life you have always wanted is right in front of you but now there are things that will come to an end. The life you have always wanted is kneeling right before you , hands face up laying in lap. It is you who has made the decision to take ownership.

Molding the slave to fit your needs and wants can happen but as with any relationship you have to put work into it , but living a Master and slave relationship will be much different. While in a vanilla relationship you did not train your partner.

You are going to mold your slave , walking , talking , how the slave stands and sits , even when it comes to sex. You will control how the slave dresses if clothed , hair color and nails.

I have always been a firm believer to train a slave you have to be able to reach out and touch , be able to look into the slaves eyes , the eyes tell all , the eyes tell the truth. I have not seen to many LDR relationships really work. Although today you have email , text , face time , you are still not in 100% control. Again I did not say all , just from my experience.

During the negotiations you present your needs and wants . Since you have I would assume giving the two a great deal of thought then you should stick to your guns. Once you give up one need you have become fair game and you will lose other needs or wants.

When out at local events there are those who take notice. When out I have 3 protocols that are followed. 1 do not speak to anyone even if spoken to , 2 speak when spoken to and 3 you are free to speak and have fun. People take notice how the slave stands , sits , how one is dressed , hair makeup. My slave is a direct reflection of me and my training , and when out my slave dresses like she is walking the red carpet.

I do not have to explain myself when I maybe change a rule or add a protocol but my slave may ask for clarification.

You the Dominant can have the life you want but as with anything nothing is free.

Vile

 

 

 

universe Continue reading

I Am A Dominant Call Me Sir

Posted in A slaves passwords, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, communication, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

You are new to the lifestyle and very excited to learn everything you can but most of all finding the One. I hope that you would talk to many but chances are you will end up speaking with only 2 or 3 before taking that leap.. After only chatting for a short time you are giving a direction to call the one you met Sir.

I firmly believe in the lifestyle we need titles , we need titles to identify ourselves when it comes to meeting others. It explains our position in the lifestyle , maybe a Daddy , a Dominant a Master and so on. In the end it is our property who addresses our identity.

Speaking with someone a couple of months ago who is somewhat new to the lifestyle , he had asked me if I could introduce him to a submissive. Being new Dominant in our community can be somewhat tough because there is a vetting process we all go through. I was told by this new Dominant that he was displeased with the vetting process and thought it was not fair. I sent information one being bestslavetraining.com a huge source of information and the other of course my blog here although most is just my opinion but my opinion is based on more than 20 years experience. You do not have to agree with everything but I am sure there are parts you can take and put to use.

So I introduce the Dom to a submissive a very good friend and at first everything seemed to be going well but it soon fell apart. One was the work schedules but my thoughts are if you want something to work it can work if you are willing to make the effort. Once the frenzy fizzled out he lost interest. I asked if he had read the material and he stated he looked over it but was more worried about his own well being , so in short no he did not. I sent it again and received the same answer so I see this as not wanting to put any effort into learning. I also made the point that it was very important to get out in the local community , you cannot just sit at home and hope someone will just walk up to your front door and drop to their knees.

The truth is you are in full control for the most until you decide to submit. The Dominant may make request but it is you who has the final say. You have the right to question , you have the right to avoid any situation that may make you feel uncomfortable.

What do you want me to call you ? You will address me as Sir! By now you may have formed some type of rapport but not near enough for you to have gained enough respect to call someone Sir , unless you were brought up in such a way and just being polite. One who makes such demands again have severe ego and security issues.

Here is the problem , most not all who are new to the lifestyle want to learn but they want to learn on their terms. When a relationship fails the blame goes to the submissive and not the one who is truly at fault.

Things have changes , people have changed but most of all the lifestyle has changed. The new Dominants entering the lifestyle wants the cake and ice cream but do not want to put in the effort.

Recently mentoring someone for a very short time , I found this to be true. What I found disturbing is wanting me to introduce him to someone.  Introducing a Dominant with no experience , nor the wish or need to learn placed me in a very bad place. So I decided to give it a try and I knew someone who I thought might have some compatibility , this ended to be a huge mistake.

You cannot start off on the right foot when one starts off making demands. You cannot start a relationship when a 100 rules stuffed down your throat.  One may be able to start off with a few small rules such as bed time or texting ,  but to hand you a book of rules without even knowing you is insane.

Remember rules are strictly for the betterment of the slave. If it starts out with you having to send naked pics or videos then you should just move the fuck on..

Stay calm and think logical and your way of life will come..

Much Love

Vile

 

Why I Love Micromanagement

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Dominant, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Micromanagement, Punishment, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , on March 21, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first experience with micromanagement was when I first met Arianna , this was the first time that subject had ever been brought up , well I had been around other Doms who brought it up but I never gave it much thought…

There are two different types of people who use Micromanagement , those who are total fuck heads at work and need that control to make it through the day , and those who need that control in their home and environment if that makes sense.

Micromanaging someone does not mean they are weak , it does not mean they do not have a brain , it does not mean they cannot function , it means the slave wants to give up total control and say. Some find peace within giving up total control in the right hands. Some are able to be who and what they are giving up total control , notice I said some.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.

If we are single not that I like titles or I need one but being single we take on that Dominant role. We are in search or a slave not a submissive , I myself would not and I refused to settle for less. Many times it is our human nature to settle for less just for that security , the security of being but not getting our needs met and it is short lived very short lived. Many times we enter a relationship under false hopes words that were spoken but not followed through with.

Many not all but many will become needy many will become codependent and there is nothing wrong with either it just adds more responsibility . To some it may seem like a dreadful task but if you truly care it will go unnoticed.

If you are going to be a Master you cannot pick and choose what part of the relationship you want. You want the slave to give 100% and in return you must give 150% that just kinda evens things out on a level playing field.

You the Master hast o be willing to take the good with the bad , in the right frame of mind and again if you care enough there is no bad , there are just areas that needs a little improvement.

Before entering the relationship the slave has to be in the right frame of mind. The slave has to know what they need in a relationship. The slave must be willing to give up total control. The slave must be willing to follow and never question. There is a exception to that rule, if a Master is about to do something that is not in the best interest of the home then the slave should be allowed to speak up…

Something you hear of often is when a slave has a question or has the need to voice their opinion the Master shows anger or begins to yell , thus causing the slave to go silent. Anger is not a good trait , not being able to control anger is not a good trait, not allowing communication is not a good trait.

I am in full control of not only my life but my surroundings , I am the one who has to answer to any mistakes that are made. I make decisions for 3 now so anything I do affects all.

I still allow freedom , time off , time off to relax , clear the mind , go out with friends and family , those two are most important. Allowing your slave to relax , go out with friends and family , have fun being able to let their guard down. A Slave needs down time, time to relax , time to unwind , time to clear their head.

In the beginning it is very important to explain everything in great detail , what is expected and what will not be tolerated , but most important there are consequences to their choices.

Plan everything is pre-planned , both girls have a calendar and the entire month is planned with my approval and only I can approve any changes. The only way any changes can occur is if I decide I want to do something.

I myself am held accountable for my actions and decisions , if something goes wrong I have to explain why I made such a bad decision.

Before meeting Arianna , I had never even thought of micromanagement , at that time it did seem like way to much work , but I have come to realize it does make life run so much smoother.

Nudity , I am a firm believer in keeping my property nude while at home , this is a tool I use as a reminder , while I myself stay dressed. Nudity is a reminder of who they are and what their status is within the home.  There are at times with a request I may allow a shirt and panties , sometimes I may feel it is a bit chilly and I will give clothing as a option.

While I do make all decisions I do not have to explain why I made certain decisions although there are times I may elaborate if I feel something is not understood.

I hate repeating myself , I feel I am talking to adults and once I have explained everything and I ask if it is understood , then the conversation is over.

Punishment , I am against corporal punishment although it is not out of the question , it really depends on what the severity of what happened or what rule was broken. I feel sitting a adult down and speaking to them as if they were a child is way more effective. Another reason I do not like leaving marks on my property. I am proud of what I own and enjoy showing off to much.

Dressing ,  before going out I am presented with outfits and I pick what I feel will be appropriate. If we go out the girls look like a million dollars , they are a direct reflection of who I am and my training.

I have some 600 drafts I am working on..

Much Love

Vile

 

 

 

Obtaining Deeper Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, codependent, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on December 12, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Deeper submission is something wanted by both the Dominant and the Submissive , however many times the submissive will want but is clueless about how to achieve such a goal. This falls onto the Dominants shoulders in guiding the submissive.

While trust is a huge factor there has to be some guidance , in assisting the submissive reach their goals.

Training is huge , it will be the main factor in not only the Dominants goals but the submissive’s as well.  I have said this before having a plan before you begin training is a valuable asset , having goals , setting rules and protocols. I have found it to be difficult to implement any rules until you truly know someone. You can add rules or take rules away but to alter a rule can had adverse effects. Rules are to enhance the submissive or slaves life. While protocols are meant to enhance the control of the Master or you could say protocols are rituals. The last sentence were words from my slave Arianna.

I myself begin training and continue without my slave knowing , I am going to try and explain some different methods but training will vary from submissive to submissive or slave to slave. Each personality is different , needs are different and habits are different.

I was speaking with another Dom yesterday and I was explaining he had to be able to define himself and know what he wanted in a submissive and what his final goals would be. It sounds pretty simple yes? Well truth be known it is not simple and it is a lot of work and it is work that is continued for the long term. I was chatting with a Gorean Master who takes in part time slaves for a weekend , a week , a month , 6 months and so on but nothing is set for long term. My time is more valuable than that but I also realize we are both on different playing fields. I do however use some of the Gorean rituals and protocols.

First your potential partner must be real and serious, by this time you should of seen if it is what I call sub frenzy , or just a fantasy because once someone steps into your world it is game over.

When you the Master explains something it should be in such great detail , when you are finished there are no questions , but you will ask if there are any questions , this is done each time.

What is wrong ? That question is so lame it has no meaning and should be dropped from your vocabulary. Instead try this, What is on your mind? Boom the first question puts up a defensive wall , guarded not letting you in. What is on your mind? What are you thinking? If there is anything the words will flow like a water fall I promise you, this will make life show much easier.

A Dominant or Master should never lose your temper when it comes to your property. Anger shows a lack of control , if you cannot control your anger how can you control someone else?  You must be respected before you can expect someone to submit. Five years I have never raised my voice towards my slave or my submissive 5 fucking years. Why? My slave Arianna is in service to me as with Lynn , both serve me , both take care of my needs. Both respect me and both depend on me , I have never used fear as a form of Domination .

Training you must be fair and the few rules you have in place should not be changed or altered. Now this is just my opinion and it works and worked for me.

Everything is earned , nothing is giving and what is earned can be taken away at the snap of a finger and this must be known.

Sitting at the dinner table is a privilege not a right. Sitting on the couch or chair is a privilege not a right, watching TV , texting friends , using a pad , showering , doing hair, nail polish everything is a privilege and privileges are earned not giving.

You the Master wants full and complete control , you the Master wants nothing less than full submission. You the Master wants loyalty , you want your needs met service and sexual.

Clothes in the house should be a privilege , I myself do not allow any clothes on unless I approve , but I am dressed , my right not a privilege.

Trust , Trust is HUGE , Trust is the main factor in the beginning of any relationship but even more so in our lifestyle. You can forget about any level of submission until you have full TRUST. You the Master will ask the Submissive or Slave do you trust me? The answer will always be YES. Dude it is a LIE a big FAT LIE there is no Trust there they don’t even really know you , why would you even ask such a question? Do you know why the answer was yes? Because it is what you wanted to hear and nothing more. You will know when the Trust begins and it will not happen over night. Now while you have been building this thing called TRUST you can fuck it up and the drop of a pin , meaning the first time you get stupid , lose your temper , screaming , calling names out of anger and if you can and that is a HUGE if you can start to rebuild what you fucked up.

Controlling your temper is much like gaining trust it does take time and it took me a very long time to learn how to channel my anger into something positive. Thinking before you speak will be your best friend , taking that deep breath , a silent deep breath and think about what you are going to say. That one short pause can save you weeks or months of work.  If you have anger issues you have zero business trying to own or be someones Dominant. Do I get mad? Absolutely I do I blow the fuck up but and there is a but not at my girls. Never. Remember they are in service to me.

Here comes the needy , here comes the codependency , but first things first I have to say because I will get a fucked email , not every submissive or slave is codependent , there I said it so deal with it. At any rate here it comes and it will hit you like a fucking train and you the Dom will deal with it because remember ? You wanted a relationship , this was the one and you are now president and will have to take that call at 3 am or what ever time 24/7. You have to be there 24/7 because you agreed to it and you said you would. So man up.

Actions speak louder than words , Actions are everything , Actions are visuals and we as humans are Visuals we see and for the most we believe even when it comes to watching news. You know what I am talking about so the visual comment is real. Actions mean everything. You sat your submissive down and you painted this white knight on this beautiful horse riding down the trail and swooping the submissive up and taking her back to your kingdom. You opened the can of worms now either you man up or you tell the truth , hey I am just looking for a quick fuck and nothing more. Be Honest.

Say what you mean and do what you say , actions speaks louder than words , you can now start building that bridge of trust. You will know when trust is achieved because a whole new room will open up and you will see a whole new openness , you will see a whole new person , someone who now desires to please , someone who has the need to please.

I love the word USE , and the word should be used often when you first begin your training. Sex is much different in our lifestyle mainly because in my eyes it is my right to use my property when and how I want , again the word USE. In the beginning stages using your submissive plays a very important role and there are two reasons. One it sets the scene and two it puts your submissive in her place. Now comes the hard part like when in a vanilla relationship the male spends much of his time begging to get some pussy , while the Dominant see’s sex as being a right. Sex is about me and only me. Yeah sounds pretty cold but there are times I will please but that type of pleasure is my call. Using your property is a reminder , it puts one in their place.

Taking privileges away , what was once so cherished now becomes a privilege as I stated above. Again everything is earned and what is earned can be taken back at any time. Limit the places in your home in which the submissive has access to , such as a spot on the floor next to the couch yea that one and only spot. Sitting next to you on the floor while you eat, and the submissive must not begin to eat until you have taken the first bite.

I find speaking in thirds to be very effective taking the words I and me out of the vocabulary . Replacing with your submissive or this submissive. Your Slave or this slave , the words I or me no longer has any meaning. This is a reminder of who and what she is and what her place in within the home.

This is done on a daily basis you cannot train 4 days and take 3 off it breaks the cycle. Your property will make mistakes and and verbal correction is all that is needed. The first 90 days will be the toughest but you should start to see things fall into place. Some catch on faster than others and raising your voice or beating her ass make no sense.

You cannot demand submission if you do it is fake submission. You cannot demand love if you do again it it fake love. Putting fear in someone makes no sense , you gain absolutely nothing with the exception of a swollen ego.

Respect your property and never ask them to do something you yourself would not do. Never ask for anything that is totally unrealistic , or something that would cause someone to fail. Always be positive and praise goes a long , long way.

I give reminders all the time to both of my girls , hey you know I truly appreciate everything you do. This is positive reinforcement , it is a builder and makes one feel proud and will want to please more.

I am not sure if I left anything out?

My Slave Arianna’s Blog

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, Dominant, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on December 3, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2017/12/02/journals/

 

Two different people meeting at a time of need. Both searching for something , she had a idea and I knew what I was looking for and refused to settle for less.

Her very first real Master turned out to be a total disaster , the not knowing can get you into a lot of trouble.

Her first Master was somewhat abusive , no real communication , when she visited weekly much of her time she was chained, which I see no real problem with. If times were different she would be chained most of the time but hey I gotta eat. No real formal training and a lot of blow jobs. He was much older than she was and his health was not the best. A chain smoker with a temper.

Announcing the breakup the dude lost it , the losing control , losing his slave and not knowing why.

Then Vile stepped in we were introduced and it was game over for the chain smoker. Okay I smoked as well but had a plan on stopping which I did with the help of my little E-cig. Arianna did not smoke so it was not fair to her. So three years ago I quit again with a little help but I quit after smoking 38 years. Hoora for me.

We are two different people Arianna is much smarter than I am she has a degree , while I have a degree in street smarts. She listen’s to mellow top 40 and I am more of a AC/DC guy. Arianna is quiet and reserved and I am loud and obnoxious. I embarrass her a lot, and the word fuck is my favorite word and I guess I use it at the wrong time and the wrong place , but I am working on it I promise.

Talking to a Dom a couple of years ago after a MAsT meeting while standing outside he called me the luckiest mother fucker on earth , he said it was like a miracle fell from the sky right into my arms. That statement rings true still today.

Reading Arianna’s journals gave me a greater knowledge of who she was and what made her think the way she does. I grew to know her feelings and emotions , as well as the true woman she was. Her journals were deep and at times I had to  re-read so I could gain a full understanding.

Her Journals gave me a different view on how I would approach her training. What works for one slave will not work for another, the same goes for rules but protocols are mostly the same. While personalities change my needs do not. In the beginning of training it was made clear what my needs were and what I expected out of the relationship and what I expected out of a slave. I also made it clear I would not bend or give in when it came to my needs being met.

Getting inside the head , I have mentioned this a lot in my past blogs. Having a full understanding of the slave. You have to truly know someone before you can begin training.  When I speak of limits for the most I am not speaking about pain but limits when it comes to a mental aspect. How much one can take or if I need to move at a slow pace. Remember you are changing ones thought process , you are changing habits , you are changing all habits.

Once I started training I did not inform Arianna it had began I just started and over time I could see the changes , the positive changes that was happening before my eyes. Just sitting back and watching someone who is willing to conform to someones needs it truly incredible.

One of my main requirements is for her to get a full 8 hours sleep. Sleep is very important and more so if you are taking any type of medications. Sleep is important to the mind and body. A well rested slave is a good slave , more so if the slave has a full time job.

Training you are taking away ones free will , the way one eats , sleeps , walks and talks, the way one sits. You are changing the way someone dresses , makeup and hair as I have done with Arianna.

Most want the submissive or slave to start writing a journal from the start of meeting each other. I do not believe this has as much impact as those who have been writing. What is being written is what the Dominant wants to hear again this is just my thinking.

A deep look in ones mind , reading the good , the bad and the ugly. Truly knowing someone , knowing what makes them happy or sad, likes and dislikes.

In our way of life , there is no greater bond known to any human. There are however exceptions to any rule. Looking back at my Aunt and uncle on my fathers side I saw true devotion , and the greatest love for family. A great man who would do anything to provide for his family.

Arguing with your Slave is the worst thing you could ever do as a Dominant. This gives the slave a different side to you and the more you argue the more respect is lost.  At different functions I have asked people why do people argue? What is worth arguing over?  What is so bad that would cause one or both of you to blow up? Why would you as a Dominant or Master argue with someone who submits to you? By doing so that puts you on a lower level , that takes the dominant out of the picture , you are no longer a dominant your a pissed off man or woman if a Domme .

The journal gives you a deeper look being able to understand someones limits as I stated above. If you break it you have to fix it. If you break it and you cannot fix it you have really fucked up.

Make it clear from the beginning on how you plan to use your property , and remember training someone does not mean ownership , you should not be that advanced in the relationship , training is just that training. Training someone you are seeing if not one but both are a fit. Just because your a Master does not mean the slave you are seeing is the slave for you and it goes the other way as well.

Make it clear on how you plan to use, make it clear what you expect when it comes to sex and be very clear. Talk about pain , talk about humiliation. I am not as into humiliation as I was at one time but I do believe it is needed from time to time. Talk about protocols , put on paper. By putting on paper as with rules it gives a clear picture. Rules are good but protocols are much more important , protocols provides structure , and discipline and what is expected..

Arianna’s Journal is a good read check it out.

Peace out

Vile