Archive for the ethics Category

What Is A Good Dominant

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Breaking Protocol, Breaking Rules, communication, control, Domestic Abuse, Dominance, Dominant, Dominant with drinking problems, Dominants, Emotions, ethics, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, Giving Head, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Humiliation, Leather Guard, Married Dominant, married slave, Married submissive, MAST, Master, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Old Leather Guard, Protocol, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, sucking dick on September 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You know while it is not written anywhere Dominants do have what is called a code of Honor.

At one time what set us apart were the strict protocols that were put in place, and there was a time not only did those who were slaves and submissive followed them, but Dominants did as well.

In the lifestyle we were held to higher standards , because well not only was it expected, but we were leaders. Sometime ago it took a very long time for a Dominant to become recognized within the community, it was not a title that was just giving out or a title someone could claim. As a Matter of fact many were not accepted in the local community just because of who they were and what they stood for.
So yes there was a time when protocol’s were indeed protocol’s and they were followed.

Then the internet boom, all of this information was online and available , and just as with anything you read you can take parts of this and parts of that, and come up with your own ideas.

Then somewhere along the line what we believed in and what we stood for began to fade away. Protocols were being lost in the pile of confusion.

While at a local MAsT several months ago this topic came up and as I was speaking about how things use to be another Dominant stepped in.

He stated you had to let others in who did not believe in the same protocols, rules. His thoughts were you had to let everyone in because if you did not you would have no one to lead.
So then we have to bend our rules, we have to set our protocols aside, we have to let others criticize the way we live and what we stand for.
While I do agree to a point everyone should be allowed to come to MAsT meetings, I also believe they should have to adhere to our rules and protocols, if they cannot do that, show them the door.
I would rather lead a 100 strong into battle than a 1000 blind.

Okay where am I going with this you might be asking ?

What I can say is today there are those who are fake who would never think of going to a MAsT or a munch because they know they would be called out. There would be people who are able to see through the fake wall you have built, and for the most you would be ignored.

There are things that do not mix in the lifestyle , whether you are a Dominant or you just gave yourself the title.

There is no place for anger, if you have anger issues you are not a real Dominant.
There is no place for Alcohol during play, if you drink you can hurt someone, and hurt someone bad. I have met very few Dominants over the years who have had a drinking problem. So if you have a drinking problem and you cannot control your alcohol you have no place within the lifestyle.

Last year we were at a party and another Dominant asked me if he could session with Arianna. It took me a minute to digest what he had to said, but what really got me is he had been drinking.
I explained that I did not share my property and if I did I would not because he had been drinking.

Married Dominants or single Dominants who have this idea about going after married women.

If you re married and you have to cheat on your wife because your needs are not being met, then do what a real Dominant would do, Leave. Pack your things up file for divorce and leave. Why wreck someone’s life because your little kinks are not being met.
You knew before you got married, she did not take it up the ass, you knew she did not swallow, you knew she was not submissive. You knew all of this ahead of time. To bring someone into your mess is not fair. To lie or mislead someone is dead wrong. What you have done is wasted that much time of their life.

Find you own woman, your own submissive, there is no shortage, and if you find a married woman who will fuck around on her husband, guess what? She will fuck around on you as well.
Just like the Dominant who fucks around on his wife, he will fuck around on you in time. Please do not think you suck cock that good, or your pussy is any different because it is not.

I do not like women who are weak, I am not a rescuer , I do not roll like that. I like the challenge , I love the hunt, then you move in for the kill.
I wanted the best, I wanted the woman who would not normally give me the time of day.
One thing that is for sure I never wanted another mans problems.
If you have the need to wreck someone’s home no matter how bad it is, and believe me if it was that bad they would already be gone.
You my friend are no Dominant, you are not now and you never will be.

A Dominant is a leader, a Dominant is someone who is in full control of their life. This is just no my opinion either. A Dominant accepts responsibility but more important admits when he is wrong. A real Dominant would never step between someone and their family.

I don’t want your wife, who is already fucked up in the head with her own problems. I don’t want your girlfriend, if the pussy is that easy to get, why would I want it?

I got game, I do for those of you who have been lucky enough to see Arianna, I got game.
I had to be able to back up my words, if I was going to play the game, I had to know the rules. I had to walk the walk and talk the talk. I got game
I would never stoop so low as to try and take another mans wife, more so if children are involved. They did not ask to be brought into your fucked up world, how fucking pathetic is that.

I can talk shit because I am living the dream. I have what you fake Dominant only dream about.
Yes I have what you never will.

While this blog or post is not about anyone in particular, I am sure many can relate to my words.

If your a Dominant then be one.

master

As Always

Vile

Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.

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Vile

Sex When I want It, And On My Terms

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anal sex, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, ass play, bdsm, blow job, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, cum, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Deception, Divorce, Dominants, dress, Eating Pussy, emotional, Emotions, ethics, fetlife, foreplay, fucking, Giving Head, Honesty, infidelity, Law, Lies, life, Married Dominant, Married submissive, Master, Masters, men begging, morals, needy, No Rights, non caring, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, pleasure, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, pussy, Respect, Rough Sex, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, serve, sex, sex slaves, slave, submissive, sucking dick, The word NO, TPE, Trust, Viles House on February 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if sex is one of the advantages of being a Dominant has anything to do with this topic, but I hear a lot of vanilla guys talking about how their women cut them off, or they wont suck dick, and how their girlfriends refuse to have anal sex.

The truth be known many vanilla men are pussy’s. In many cases the female holds sex hostage, to use at their advantage, usually to get what they want. I remember hearing my aunt talking yo my uncle when I was very young, how he had better watch his mouth because it was not Thursday yet, which was payday for him. She may of been playing but now that I look back on it maybe she was serious. My uncle was an average looking guy nothing special. My aunt had always dated rich men she was catered to. My uncle was a union carpenter at that time he made like 14 an hr, back in the early 70’s I guess that was considered good money. I remember hearing my aunt saying how my uncle was not much to look at, but he treated her like a princess, but still she held sex hostage.

I got a lot of flake off of a post I wrote several months ago about how women were put here to serve.Well in most cases I still stand firm on my beliefs. There are those exceptions where the woman runs the house. There are those exceptions where the woman controls the man, and the man just bows down. I would imagine some are happy, but then again there are those men who lost their control early on, and had no idea how to regain it, or maybe just to afraid to grab their balls and step up to the plate, in fear of what? Yup not getting pussy, their weekly reward, get on and get off and leave me alone until next Thursday.

Some men just cower down like a beat puppy. This really in many ways makes me sick to my stomach , I cringe when I hear those almighty words YES DEAR. Wow really are you serious? Your really going to take that. Your going to put your head down turn around and run off to the little man cave she allows you to have so you are out of her hair. All because you are pussy whipped.

Those were the choices you made before getting married, or moving in with your girlfriend. I have a friend named matt, who lives with a girl, and he can only get on collarme or fetlife when she is not home. Now at one time he was a Daddy Dom or I thought he was, but like many people who are willing to settle for less until the next best thing comes along. So yea he is pussy whipped to the max, his penis runs his life. Matt is not allowed to come over to my house because his girlfriend thinks I am a bad influence on him. Me a bad influence on someone well it is possible I suppose.

Another friend Fred, I am not allowed over at his place anymore because of the same thing yea a bad influence. Fred pays a hooker 10.00 dollars twice a week to give him a blow job, I have never seen her but 10.00 bucks really, I can just imagine what she looks like. This has been going on for about five years same girl. Why? because his wife refuses to give head, or do anal, but he knew this before getting married.

So him and I are standing in the kitchen, I really hated going over to his place, they have 7 cats, and as many birds but the litter boxes are over running, the bird cages are dirty, and the smell is just well, like a land field. His wife stays home all day playing games on the computer. She does not cook very often, most of the time he picks up a pizza before coming home. So we are talking about this bitch he pays to suck his dick. He is paying roughly a thousand dollars a yr for head, plus keeping his wife up. That is just crazy, more so it is uncalled for. So I told him go in the living room drop your pants and tell her to give you head. Well her being the nosy bitch she is over heard me, here she comes running in the kitchen. Excuse me what did you say? I told fred to go in the living room drop his pants and tell you to give him head, if you did that he would not be paying a bitch to suck his dick. Okay she did not know about the hooker, my bad. He knew before he married the cow she did not suck dick or take it up the ass. He should man up and except his own stupidity. He made the choice he dug his own grave so suck it up.

We all know how I feel about infidelity ,I feel once in a relationship the two should remain monogamous, unless, and I do mean unless, the couple has made arrangements. The problem with cheating, you really do not know someone you just met, and the odds of taking something home are really great. How much guilt would that carry? Would your marriage be reparable ? Is it worth putting your family through such an ordeal when you get caught, because you will get caught, it is not how, it is when.. I have absolutely no respect for a dominant who steps out of his marriage because his wife wont take it up the ass. So he finds a bitch who will, knowing he will never leave his wife, kids and lose his home, on top of all the money he will end up paying out. Now the submissive is thinking different, and it will take about a year of ass fucking for her to figure that out.

A Dominant who is married, and steps out of his marriage is a punk ass pussy. Your a fake hiding behind a title you do not deserve. While you have some bitch tied to a bed, your loving wife is home cooking dinner and helping the kids with their home work. Fuck I get worked up over this bullshit. Your a pussy and I will tell you to your face.

Here is the thing, I have a friend who is a Dominant, he is seeing a married woman, he is married as well but separated. The married submissive can only have sex with her husband when she is given permission. Are you kidding me? Her husband puts food on the table, pays her bills, a roof over her head, and a car to drive, but she is not allowed to have sex with him. Get the fuck out. The same goes for a female if your not happy, cut the rope and get the fuck out, be who you need to be, you do not have to drag your whole family down with you.

Maybe being a Dominant and owner does have its advantages, but I have met other Dom’s who have the same problem, they are pussy whipped, the first time a submissive says no , the dominant blows up then he wants to exert his authority. I am your Master Bitch you will do as I say. Come on now you have heard it as well, or the Dom will start pouting, or even worse he will pull the guilt trip out of his box of tricks.

The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary, the word NO never comes out of her mouth. I will admit she still does hesitate at somethings, but she is slowly learning , I have her best interest in mind.

Sex I love sex, I love to fuck, I love getting my dick sucked, I love eating pussy, and if I am really into you I will even rim. Last night I rubbed lotion on Arianna, maybe not a full massage but close. Then I just got the urge to go down on her, so down south I went, for a good ten minutes or so, just loving life. I did not want anything in return, I just love eating pussy. So without saying a word I pulled the covers down I opened her thighs and went to town, I did not ask or say a word. The same with getting head, if I am in the mood laying in bed, I will just grab her by her hair and pull her down to my cock.

Yesterday I got the urge to fuck, I told Arianna to strip and get on her back, she did as instructed, I crawled on top busted a nut, and got off of her, I was done. Now most of the time I spend a lot of time when it comes to sex, I love hearing and seeing a woman get off, so I try to make sure I take care of her, but at times it is just about me.

I run my house, I control my house, it is my way and only my way, no questions asked. This was the agreement we had before entering a relationship. Sex when I want, how I want, where I want, be it oral, pussy or anal, it is about me. If you settle for less, you will never be happy, and I refuse to end up being the cheating Dom having to rent a motel room. I refuse to pay for pussy.

Being a Dominant, a Master and owner means a great deal of responsibility, A Dominant should be able to give 100% and no less to his property. We must be available 24/7. Because if you are not, she will find someone who will be, it make take a little time but she will dump your sorry ass.

Sex is on my terms. Now if Arianna is not feeling well. I am considerate enough to wait. Again on my terms.

When out I do not dress Arianna like a slut, although she would wear what she was told to wear. When going out I instruct her on what she will be wearing. In the afternoon, I have clothes laid out, she knows to come in, pull her shoes off at the door, pick up her clothes and shower, no questions asked.

Arianna does not have options the only options are those I allow her. I do not talk much about our business, I generally just handle things, Arianna has enough on her plate now, so I do not bother her with the little stuff. The other day she asked about something, then she made the comment, well I guess it is on a need to know basis. My reply was your correct. If I feel I need to asked her for advice I will, but until then it is on a need to know.

Arianna comes first, no matter what. She knows she can wake me at 2am if she needs to, if she feels she needs to talk. She does however wake me to request to go to the bathroom, then permission to re-enter the bed. I am good with that. She was told early on about getting up or entering the bed.

Most would think our relationship is one way, but that is far from the course, most think my way of running a house is somewhat unorthodox , some think I am to strict. Well they do not pay my bills, nor does anyone put food on my table. How I run my house is my business. As long as Arianna is happy that is all that matters to me.

Arianna is by far the most compliant slave I have ever met. She enjoys task, she loves structure. She loves being limited to where she is allowed to sit. I do not believe Arianna could ever be replaced.

Sex on my terms, and only my terms. You guys need to think about those words instead of paying for a motel room, so you can have it on your terms. Go home to your wife.

 

Vile

Proactive Aftercare

Posted in Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, control, Conversation, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, ethics, Health, Love, Master, needy, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, session, sex, slave, Sub Drop, sub-space, submissive, TPE, Trust on February 10, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who are submissive are very needy, I believe slaves are more needy on many different levels. Being proactive in a 24/7 live in relationship is really important. I do believe it takes a lot more interaction and communication than a vanilla relationship. I know I keep bringing this up but if I am really anal about something, I feel the need.

When most say aftercare, the term is used mainly after play, be it just intense bondage, hard spanking, humiliation, you get the picture, but the fact is aftercare should be an on going process play or no play.

The needy is much different than a regular relationship. While I do not still understand how the neediness factors in with subs and slaves, if you are in a D’s relationship it is more noticeable.

I like the word Proactive, the after care is on going, never ending, and along with such care comes a great deal of responsibility. I cannot speak enough on being consistent, that is something that took me many years to master, listening also plays a huge factor , along with much needed communication.

I have said a hundred times that sub-drop can be prevented, and I truly believe this. Sub-drop does accrue mainly while in a long distance relationship, or when two are not 24/7. It is not to say even if you are 24/7 that it cannot happen, but if you are paying your sub or slave the attention they need, the chances of sub-drop are indeed very slim.

Sub-drop the opposite of sub-space can last anywhere from Ten minutes to a couple of days or more. Again the drop happens mostly when two are not 24/7.

This is a Time when the Dominant should step up to the plate and be who he is, and nothing less. If you are not 24/7 you really have a lot on your hands, and may end up spending hours on the phone, until they have calmed down. Sub-space can be just as bad as a drop, and the same attention should be giving.

At times after real intense play a submissive or slave may want to be left alone for a short time, so they are able to gather their thoughts, and figure out their surroundings, before talking or being held.

After care is looked over way to often, as many dominants really do not see the need, some believe, some do not.

The bottom line is, if you take care of your property, and run a well managed care program, the relationship will be unlike any other.

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Vile

To The Married Dominants

Posted in abuse, bdsm, Cheat, Cheating Dominant, ethics, Honesty, Married Dominant on September 25, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

This post is not directed towards anyone person, just something I have been thinking about for a couple of days..
I stated before I was married for nine years, and if I could go back into time, it would of never happened. Why did I marry, well I really thought I was missing out on something, the house, having a child, the dog, you know the Ward and June Clever family.

I wanted to have cook outs with the smiths, long drives on Sundays up the coast in my 76 Fiat Spider, with the wife.

I had been in the lifestyle for several years when I met my soon to be vanilla wife. I had just gotten out of a real heavy S & M relationship. After that ended I began to think I was not normal. There had to be something wrong with me

The first 5 years were okay I stayed busy. I drove a tractor local 3 days a week,  I spent several hours a week in the yard. I had over 60 Lincoln roses I took care of. My Fiat and my Cougar.

Into the 8th years I started getting an itch, thoughts going through my head, I tried to shake them, but they became more frequent. I was growing tired of the boring sex, and yes I had married June Clever.

So I called her out back one day and said hey we need to talk. This is when I came clean about who I really was, and my needs. I talked her into letting a slave move in. She was just to be Domestic nothing more.

Things went really well for about three months, then my wife became jealous. The slave was doing all the cooking, laundry, cleaned the house, which my wife was never really good at.

The more I spoke about my past, the more she wanted me gone. The slave was the first to go. Then I moved out. Our Divorce went well we hired a paralegal to draw up all the papers agreed on an amount for child support, she got the house and my Fiat. I have always paid more in child support that I had agreed , most of the time I paid double, just to help out, I knew what she made, and she would of sunk without my help,and I had a son I had to think of as well.

Okay your thinking what the fuck are you getting at? Well for nine years I was married, I was not really in love although I did care about her a great deal. During this time I never fucked around on her, I stayed loyal. That is one Dominant trait I did not lose.

Although while married I still had the Dominant personality which she accepted. All she knew is unlike her last relationship, she use to fight all the time and he would beat her up. She now felt secure, she was happy. Although I was still Dominant, I felt guilty about trying to introduce things to her. She was not into the kink and I respected that

So I packed up what little stuff I had, and rented a nice apartment a block from the beach. I could breath, my soul was at ease. I could now be who and what I was without having to hide my feelings.

In the lifestyle today, there are many Dominants I respect, and you will at times hear me address older Dominants as sir, out of respect. Old school protocol.

Who I cannot respect are the Dominant who are married, and going behind the wife’s back. While she thinks everything in the house is fine. She believes she has the perfect family, the perfect kids, her world surrounds her husband, and she thinks the same.

At events or munchs, I talk to married Dominants who bring their submissives , but respect not a chance.

We as Dominants expect things from our submissive or slave. One of the first things we tell them, is to always be honest, and tell the truth at all times. This is true and all of you subs and slaves have heard this, ever from your married Dominant.

We as Dominants are looked up to in the lifestyle, I know a couple of dominants I truly admire, and have great respect for.

There are a couple of factors to look at. How can we expect to lead, if we are not in control of our own life. How can we expect someone to follow if we are not in control of our own life.

One of my followers on my blog, who is somewhat younger than I am, who I truly admire.thelionresurrected.

He was married or still is, going through a nasty divorce, but here is the thing. He needed to be who and what he is, and the only way to do so, was to be truthful with his soon to be ex wife. Being man enough to come clean. Now he can be who and what he is a True Dominant.  My hat goes off to him.

On the other foot, this type of relationship is not fair to the submissive. She will never be number one, she will always be number two. The dominant will come over two or three times a month spend a couple of hours, then head home to the wife and kids. This mostly happens to new submissives new to the lifestyle. Those who have been around, almost never mess with a married Dom.

There are not many things that really get to me, cheating is one of them, because I just do not understand. If your not happy get the fuck out.

Up until a couple of months ago I was seeing a married woman, which I did not know she was married, if I had the relationship would of never started. I respect myself more than that.

Her husband shows up at my door one night crying, wanting to know how I could rip his family apart, her children. I said some pretty bad things to him, which now I feel pretty bad., but I was being truthful with him. More so don’t be mad at me fuck I didn’t know. After thinking for a while, I began to feel guilty. So I broke it off, right there. I was not going to lower myself, I have standards. I have respect for myself,
most of all I have strong ethics.

Then to the submissive, do you really want to be responsible for breaking up a family, more so where children are involved. Do you not ever want to be number one.

What makes a good Dominant to begin with , Honesty, this is a must to build trust within the D’s relationship. Integrity, Maturity, always in control, and not controlling. One who does not punish just for the sake of punishing. One who does not just bark orders. Responsible this is a must, Trustworthy, can you as a submissive really trust your dominant knowing he is married. Believe me, if he is seeing you, and your time is very limited, he is seeing others. I am speaking as a male and a dominant.

Do not let a dominant tell you, that you do not need interaction with others, or you do not need to go to a munch, he is the only teacher you need. You as the submissive need to interact with other, get their prospective on things, what their life is like. Getting others point of view . Very important.

Sub-Drop can be prevented, with proper care, and communication. Aftercare should be an everyday thing. If your submissive is experiencing sub-drop it is your fault and your fault alone. Shame on you.

Just my Thoughts.

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