Archive for the etiquette Category

BDSM And My Structure

Posted in 24/7, An Owned Slave, Argue, Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, Daddy Doms, Dominants Protocol, etiquette, http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, Private Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave on June 6, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Structure no matter the lifestyle is needed , be it vanilla , Daddy Dom , Baby girl , Dominant and submissive , or Master and Slave , and last Domestic Discipline. Structure insures the home is ran smoothly and consistent. Structure insures the family or Master and Slave are on the same page.
Along with Structure comes come rules. Rules are needed to provide structure.
Even when the slave is out rules are followed and they are meant to give the slave a sense of direction. Rules are meant to provide a sense of direction under any circumstances.
A Slave or submissive is a direct reflection of their Dominant or Master. The Training is a direct reflection of the Dominant or Master and while out at a local event be it a Munch or a MAsT meeting or anything that is BDSM related the way your property acts comes back on the Dominant or Master.
While nothing may be said there is talk.

I will give a little insight , while at a recent munch I allowed Arianna to be open to speak as she wanted to. Sitting at a table with a few friends Arianna was laughing and joking having a good time.
As the munch ended everyone opted to go to a nearby Restaurant , we were all seated together and Arianna was laughing and making jokes.

The next day my email on fetlife was flooded with comments on how different Arianna acted the previous night. Everyone enjoyed hearing her crack jokes, and laughing. I explained to another Dominant it was protocols I had in place and that night she was allowed to be open.

If you take a look at http://www.peter-masters.com/wiki/index.php/Structure

He speaks of standing orders , standing orders are a part of structure and protocols. Standing orders are as follows. Arianna brings me dinner after sitting my plate down she thanks me for allowing her to serve me, she then ask permission to sit. She will not begin to eat until I have taking my first bite. She will ask permission to go to the bathroom , shower , even shave.
When going out I choose her clothes, her nail polish and even how her hair will be done. With the above I am providing structure.

Everything we do is planned , I plan things out one week , two weeks and at times three weeks. We could be going to a Munch or MAsT meeting , out to a park , like last weekend we spent the day at Fort Desoto over near Tampa. I very seldom do anything spontaneous but at times I may have something I want to do and we do it.

Arianna’s mother may call and ask for our help , I will tell Arianna what days we are available and the hours we are available, and that goes with anyone who may ask for help.

Arianna arrives home and the first thing she does is strip , no clothes are allowed while home. She may however request to put on what we call slave dresses. These are very long dresses that touches the ground and have very lite and thin material. The stripping is a protocol.

Now your thinking wow Vile that is to much work , or your way to strict , or your to controlling, or you may be thinking I could never live that way.
The truth is all of the above is obtainable and is really fairly easy , once you the Dominant or Master puts everything in place.

All of the above should be worked out before entering the relationship. What structure will be in place , what protocols will be in place, and depending on how well you know the sub or slave what rules you will be putting in place. What many fail to see is rules are meant to provide structure and a sense of security.

Sending nude pics is not a rule or videos Masturbating , those are in noway meant to help with anything, with the exception of helping with humiliation , because most will send just to please , not because they want to.

Structure must be what ? I have said this a 1000 times , consistent and consistent on a daily basis, if you are not consistent everything you have put in place will not work and the sub or slave will see that you are not in full control. You cannot be a Dominant when you want to be , there is no on and off switch.

Your thinking I could never be that submissive , I could never give up that much control to someone. I am telling you under the right Dominant you could and you would want to give more and more and then spend time trying to figure out how to give even more.

I posed the question to Arianna when we first met how deep do you want to take your submission ? How do you see yourself living on a daily basis as owned property , a slave? Is there anything you need for me to add or put into place that will help you ? Her answer to all of those questions was I do not know.

Two and a half years later Arianna is not giving me input , she is sharing her thoughts and looking for ways to deepen her submission.

I had a Master tell me not long ago man that is just to much work , that is not my thing. My question was how much do you care about your slave ? Are you not willing to invest the time needed to put everything in place? How long do you want your relationship to last ?

You expect the submissive or slave to follow rules why would you expect them not to have expectations ?

Last year Arianna and I went to a local MAsT and the first question posed to me was how do you two argue ? I look at Arianna with a puzzled look , and I am thinking what the fuck is he thinking about? What kind of question is that ?

I look at him and I say we Don’t argue we don’t fight , I have never raised my voice towards Arianna.

How is this possible ? With all of the above, if you implement structure and your consistent , your relationship will flourish and grow with no end in sight.

When I ask people this question no one can give me a straight answer. Why do you argue ?

The above is just my opinion and nothing more. I am not in anyway judging anyone or telling someone how they should be living.
If you think that well to fucking bad.

Some say arguing is good but we all know that is a crock of bullshit , when you argue you say things that hurts ones feelings. Those words are a calm mans thoughts. Bet that. If your fighting and he calls you a stupid bitch he means it. Those are the thoughts he has when he is calm.

erotic3

Vile

BDSM And Fetlife

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, etiquette, exhibitionism, exploiting your slave, Fetlife Groups, Humiliation, MAST, Master And Slave, munchs, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used on March 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I thought I had found a place where I fit. I thought I found new friends well I was hoping anyway. Someone I could speak with on the same level and someone who truly understood where I was coming from.
Before sending a friend request I wanted to get to know the Master a little more. I wanted to see where he was coming from , and what his feelings were.
I had even gone as far as inviting him and his slave to dinner , mainly because we had so much in common…

I need that interaction with others in the lifestyle , I need to be able to relax , talk about things we have in common or just shoot the shit

The Master has not been active in the local community but I was willing to look that over , again things in common, we were on the same page of what an M’s relationship was all about. He is starting a new group and I was going to go as far as to promote it for him so we could get a good group together.

There are not very many Dominants who think or feel the way I do about the lifestyle , some even say I am somewhat unorthodox in my ways, or I am to strict , I need to let up a little , give Arianna some breathing room.

All in all I am me and nothing is going to change, I am who I am and I am completely happy. Right now I am in a good place and I do not see things changing anytime in the future.

So I have been on Fetlife for several years now. I have had one other profile but it has since been taking down now for a couple of years. I belong to about 21 groups and I have about 40 friends 90% of which I have met.
There has not been a group that has caught my eye until last week.

MALEDOM Central Florida…. Description:

A central Florida community of Male Dominants and female submissives that operates under the belief that “women exist to be the property, servants and playthings of men”

Okay so I am in the game so far , because this for the most is what I truly believe. I have believed this since a very early age going back to my teens.

Basic Membership Rules:
*Only 100% Dominant Males and 100% submissive females please, no switches.

*Females is defined as “having a vagina.” Post op transsexuals are always welcome, however no submissive men may join, including sissies, crossdressers, and pre op transgender. If you have a penis and are submissive, this is not the group for you.

*females will address ALL males respectfully and submissively at ALL times, addressing them as “Sir” unless otherwise instructed.
1. This is one of the problems I started to have with the Moderator of the group. The way I look at it is we are all different so I am not here to bad mouth anyone. We all have different point of views when it comes to the lifestyle , but unless under my direction Arianna does not and will not address another Dominant as SIR. That is part of my protocols and those who have been in the lifestyle for any time knows and understands my way of thinking..

*This group operates under the firmly held belief that “women exist to be the property, servants, and playthings of Men” so all members must share this mindset.

*Dominants must be courteous regarding other Dominants property, but all females will be treated as just that, property. females will always interact with Dominants without arguing, backtalking, or giving sass. There will be no expectation of respect, fair treatment, courtesy or politeness to property. females have no rights to ANYTHING here.

Here is the second problem I had , now mind you him and I have been texting and things have been going smoothly. Again we had a lot in common or so I thought….

Now he is new to the community as far as being active , so I am not sure how long he has been in a M’s lifestyle we never got that far.

Here are some more things I found troubling. I am The Master of Arianna , I am the owner of Arianna, and she is my property. Although there may be times I ask for advice I do have the final say in all matters…..

ALL females, whether owned or not, must wear a collar to ALL events. If they are not owned this is to signify and reinforce that they are property, not people, and certainly NOT equal to ANY male. Once inside any private event, all females will be expected to immediately strip down to panties or change into revealing fetishwear. If any Dominants would prefer their property to be dressed differently at an indoor, private event, please contact Master Joe at 555-555-5555, and exceptions can be made. If no prior arrangements have been made, females will be expected to strip down to panties and collar or revealing fetish wear at the door.

*ALL females will help serve at events and will be available to get drinks and food for Dominants. Any Dominant who wishes to remove His property from this group service for a period of time may do so by putting her on a leash or lead. Any female not on a leash or lead may be ordered by ANY Dominant to perform simple NONSEXUAL service (get drinks, move chairs, etc) and must immediately obey.

*No female will be required to participate in any sexual play (unless her Owner orders it, of course). If a female is available for play or open to sexually serving Dominants other than hers, this can be demonstrated by attaching a pink ribbon to her collar. A pink ribbon does NOT require a Dominant to allow His property to participate in any play and is used only to indicate that asking her owner is welcomed and not offensive. Any female without a pink ribbon attached to her collar is understood to be unavailable for sexual service or play with others and MUST NOT be ordered to and her Owner should not be asked as this is very rude and offensive.

*Please be courteous with other Dominant’s property. females are property and playthings and deserve no respect, however, if a female is owned, please remember that her Owner DOES deserve respect, so all Dominants please act accordingly.

Now the above

His group , he is the moderator , but I do find a few things wrong, okay wrong is not the right word. Maybe I would do thinga a little different..

While I do agree with 95% of the above there is 5 % I do not, and I will explain why.

I blogged last week I think it was about exploiting slaves and submissives , and the above is a form of just that. There are some factors you have to look into and respect being one of them , and then you have the mental side of things. Just how much can your property take? Although I do believe at times some humiliation is needed to keep things in check, but never in a public setting.

So shortly after Arianna and I met I began to put protocols in place as well as a few rules. Some of the things she wanted clarification on , was sharing , and being exposed in front of others, and if I would be taking on other Slaves as well ? Those are all good questions so I answered all of them , No Sharing , she would not be exposed and I had not thought about taking on another slave nor would I unless she brought it up and she has.
In the end I gave my word and for me to go back , well it would not look very good, and I lose that trust we have built. Rules once in place there is no changing , I have the right to add or amend if asked but I am head cheese.

There are no Dominants or Masters I know of who would agree to have their property topless at a gathering and be at other Dominants beck and call. I would never allow such a thing to go on.

Finding the right partner is hard enough for Dominants , Master , Slaves and those who are submissive. You cannot go back on your word.
In the end our partner , our submissive , our slave , our property, we are the only ones they can turn to and they need to know we are going to be there.

Again I am not here to bad mouth anyone. I did read in the rules though exceptions would be made if contacted and in my case there were no exceptions.

cuffed

Vile

Training Your Submissive Or Slave

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Bond, chat room, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dating, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Drama, Dress Protocol, etiquette, Face Fucking, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, molding your slave, munchs, owning a slave, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Submission, submissive on December 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is many Dominants do not want to put the time or effort into building a D’s or M’s relationship if they are not going to be 24/7. Although I have seen some who do not live together and it works out just fine.

This is the hard part because I was going to say the Submissive or Slave has to be honest about everything. The Newly found Dominant must know everything. There is a fine line with what you want to share, with someone you just met. What ever reason the submissive just wants to run off at the mouth and give their whole life story during the first meeting,

I had sex at a young age, I was raped, I was molested. I have been abused in past relationship. I suffer from depression and I am on these meds the list goes on and on.

In the beginning you want to start of with the basics. What type of work you do, what kind of music you like, all foods you like, any hobbies you might have. I was asked recently on what the time limits should be before the two have sex. Well there is really no time limit it is what you feel and if it feels right then go for it. If the Dominant knows nothing of the above and it starts out sexual, then that is all you will have.

Also if you have any Drama in your life you need to clean it up before entering a new relationship. The same goes with the Dominant, no Drama, and no problems with Ex’s

If you meet online and your chatting, and within the first twenty minutes your asked if you swallow or do you take it up the ass, then just hit the X button and move on. It is clear what he is looking for.

In the world of BDSM a D’s or M’s relationship you have a mixture you have the Vanilla side then you have the D’s or M’s side, but you have to have both to make it work.

Arianna was telling me about a Dominant she was seeing out of state, their whole relationship was based On M’s and nothing more. He took her out maybe three time in 6 months or so, and it always ended up in a argument. The Vanilla was missing, not to mention he never fucked her well a couple of times. She was there mainly to clean house, and be in shackles all day, while he was on his laptop looking for another Slave to add to the family.

I however do commend him on doing the searching, most Dominant place such a task on the submissive, which is very wrong. The Dominant is the one in most cases who wants another, the submissive will just go along with the idea. So he puts the task on the submissive and has her post her pictures instead of his. I wonder why this is?

It takes time to get to know each other, you cannot learn everything over one dinner date. Remember the Vanilla thing. I know your anxious and you want things to happen now, yesterday. You need to just chill, and think with a clear mind.

The Dominant however will lay out his plans on training and what he expects out of a relationship. This is your cue do you stay or do you go? Can you meet his needs? Can you comply with his standards ? This is the time you decide.

You being the submissive you can negotiate the terms of the relationship. Your not a Slave, so this is your right. You can put the what I will do and what I will not do on the table. The Dominant will either agree or he will not.

Remember not all women like or enjoy Anal sex, or being face fucked. You may not be into humiliation, or hard impact play. More important you may not want to be shared as many Dominants will do, and be proud of it. Pass you around like a piece of meat.So it is very important you are honest and upfront about what you will and will not do. If you are no Bi and do not wish to take part make it clear this is a hard limit.

You the submissive has the power to negotiate the terms of the relationship. The Slave does not how every have that right. The Slave will either feel they can be compatible or she is not able to comply with the Masters needs.

With the Slave it is yes I can or no I cannot. When a Master or Dominant is looking for a Slave he is looking for something very specific, he knows what he wants and needs. Like me I refused to bend. To me a relationship was more important than just a piece of ass. Getting pussy or my dick sucked was not hard to find, but finding someone I was compatible with was extremely hard. If I just wanted pussy you would come over spread and then you leave. Why because there was nothing there.  Before you get all bent out of shape, this was all in the open before hand so both of us new what to expect. Lynn who I saw for almost a year until she got nutty, it was just about sex and nothing more. I knew there would never be a relationship and she knew the same thing. I had it made come over Friday night and leave Sunday morning. At that time it was perfect, but I started losing interest because I needed more. I stopped enforcing rules and protocols and we slowly fell apart.

So your Newly Found Dominant will start out by giving you protocols and he must be consistent with enforcing. He will give you rules to follow. Now when you first meet, he cannot possibly give you rules to follow because he knows nothing of you. Lets say we have a five day getting to know each other period. Maybe he can give you one or two the first meeting such as Bed time, or a time to email or text, I would think that would be acceptable.

I re-posted yesterday about protocols many of them I use on a daily basis but most of them I did not. Using protocols are a mind set. a type of mind modification the way you think or act public or private. The way you speak, the way you walk. The way you greet others , who you may greet and who you may not.

If we are out and another Dominant tries to give Arianna a hug she is to extend her hand, and a Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any time should know that hugging someone slave is just a big fucking NO.

If your relationship does not have any protocols then go back and read what I posted pick and choose or make your own, use on a daily basis. You will see in a short time your thoughts on submission will begin to change.

Rules, Rules are meant for self improvement, for the betterment of you the Submissive or slave. Arianna has 25 that I set, but she added a few more of her own to help keep her in check. Every night before bed she reads them, unless directed by me not to. What is more impressive is after a year she can share them aloud and not have to read them. That was her choice not something I demanded.

If you have friends, then you should be allowed to keep them, you should be allowed to see your family, call and text with everyone. You should not have to give out your passwords to any of your accounts. This is an ego problem and it should not be excepted. We all need some privacy and there are parts of our lives that should be left alone. If a Dominant demands your passwords, then he is probably insecure or has a major ego problem.

The training is not hard, and you can enjoy it as well. It will be hard if your heart is not in it. It can be more hard if your with someone your really not happy with. The deeper you get into your training the more submissive you will feel.

You also have to take in mind if there is any type of public training. Again what you will do and will not do, no one wants to go to jail. You also have to think of your career as well, being known, being seen. What you are comfortable wearing in public, again what is except able and what is not. You as the submissive has the right to set the pace of the relationship. You are a submissive not a slave.

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Vile

More On Protocol’s

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants, Dress Protocol, etiquette, Local events, Master, Masters, Pansexual, Protocol, Protocol public, Respect, Rules, slave, slave positions, submissive on December 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

You are probably tired of me talking about protocols. I cannot express enough on how important using protocols during and after training is.

During training you go through what I call mind modification. You are taking someone and molding them to fit your needs. One of the most important things in going forward is the submissive or slave has to be true. They truly want to follow. The other is the Dominant or Master has to stay consistent from day one. If you give out rules you enforce, if you put protocols in place you enforce, and you enforce on a daily basis.

Protocols cover a huge area with in my home. From speech to positions when I feel the need, to how, Arianna acts in public.

Many of the protocols I am going to list I use on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. I still use some of the Slave positions but not on a regular basis, if I feel there is a need. One position that is used daily is Arianna greeting me when I get off work. I walk in the door Arianna is on her knees face down and arms extended. This is something she feels she has to do. This is not only her way of greeting me, but she is showing me how much she appreciates me .

This morning I posted a blog about the Difference between a Dominant and a Master. I ran across a website and found it to be very interesting.  The owner of the site did give permission to use the content as long as I gave credit to the publisher, which I did. There is a ton of information, which I will tap into and share with everyone.

Most of what I will be sharing is about safety which is the most important, but several months ago I posted about BDSM and the Law, again a ton of information. As I have stated before the use of Protocols is a lost Art. In the last ten years or so BDSM has changed so much. Every time we attend an event I cannot believe the total lack of respect from some, and when I bring it up I just get a blank stare like it is me that is not respecting them.

Just as I have stated much of the respect has gone away due to the Pansexual out break which is mentioned below, just that some protocols may not be observed as they are in an M’s relationship

The website that I obtained the information from is

http://www.denversub.com/protocol.html

You may also contact through email if you wish at

denversubmissive@aol.com

 

Remember many of you may already use some of these protocols or you may not. You may find some that you would like to put into place. Enjoy.

 

 

Protocol

Disclaimer:   The following reflects my own training, and will be different than others were trained.   Personal pronouns reflecting male Dominance and female submission should be reversed if appropriate.   Each Dominant will create His own protocols and will most probably not conform to these.   I have presented this information as an example of one protocol, but only one.  “Master” and “slave” were not often used, although in many cases, i feel they would have been more appropriate.

Common Positions

  • Stand – Standing with feet shoulder width apart, back straight, head forward and eyes lowered. Hands are most usually clasped behind the back. In public, eyes forward so as not to draw attention to the position. “Present standing” – hands behind neck.
  • Kneel – Kneel in place, back straight, ass resting on heels, hands behind back, head bowed and eyes down. In public, she kneels in such a way as not not draw attention to herself, as if no chair were available.
  • Kneel up – Kneeling, knees shoulder width apart, back straight, head forward and eyes lowered. Hands are most usually clasped behind the back. “Present kneeling” would move hands behind the neck.
  • Kneel down – Kneeling, knees shoulder width apart with toes touching, forehead on the ground, cushioned by hands.
  • Present – Making the body available to the Dominant in a pre-arranged way. The Dominant generally points to a piece of furniture (meaning present bending over it) or to the floor (meaning present in a kneel down position). “Present on your back” would tell the submissive to lie on her back with knees up and legs spread wide, hands above the head. If standing, the submissive stands, feet shoulder width apart, back straight, hands behind back, left wrist in right hand, head bowed and eyes down.
  • Rest – The submissive assumes whatever resting posture the Dominant prefers. This is commonly a sitting or kneeling position that the submissive is able to maintain for long periods of time.
  • Serve – food or beverage is served with the right knee down, left leg bent, left elbow on left knee, right elbow in left palm, serving from the right hand.
  • Inspection –the submissive goes to the center of the room and stands facing away from the door, or away from her Dominant if He is in the room.   She spreads her legs as far apart as is possible while maintaining good balance, places her hands behind her neck and keeps her head straight and eyes forward.

Protocol Shifts

The protocols contained here are for Mid Protocol interactions, in places where it will not draw undue or unwelcome attention to the uniqueness of the Dominant/submissive relationship.

Low Protocol should be used when in the presence of vanilla observers.   During this time:

  • The submissive will refer to her Dominant as “Sir” when possible, and by His given name if Sir seems inappropriate for some reason.
  • The submissive will not kneel unless ordered to do so, but may sit on the floor if it would not draw attention.
  • If the submissive uses furniture, she will do so by sitting as close to her Dominant as possible and making her body accessible to Him as much as possible.
  • The submissive may serve her Dominant as a waitress might, rather than from a kneeling position.
  • Mid Protocols are in place wherever possible, but should be acted on with as much discretion as is possible.

High Protocol – will be used at her Dominant’s discretion and will be put into place by a prearranged signal or word from her Dominant at any time.

  • The submissive positions herself slightly behind her Dominant on His dominant side (unless given orders to the contrary) and remains there unless ordered otherwise.   If ordered to stand or kneel elsewhere, she keeps her head bowed and eyes down, only keeping her Dominant in her peripheral view, so as to be able to respond immediately if He summons her.   She may adjust her location only to keep Him in her line of site.
  • If approached in conversation, she will only say, “Forgive me Sir/Ma’am, I am forbidden to speak. My Master is standing/sitting there” and indicate His location.
  • The submissive will always use as few words as possible to respond when given permission to do so and will begin and end each sentence with “Sir”.
  • The submissive performs any service quietly and efficiently, drawing as little attention to her service as possible.

In Old Guard settings, submissives traditionally wear black or white t-shirts, jeans or leather shorts, white socks if any, black boots (laced right over left) or other black shoes.

A submissive wishing to be recognized by a Dominant, or group will stand about three feet away, just outside the circle of conversation, assume standing “public present” position and wait to be recognized.   Only then will they approach and speak.   A submissive who has greeted a Dominant in this manner will normally wait to be dismissed before leaving, or if she is expected back quickly, will explain, “Forgive me Sir, i am expected back” and wait for dismissal.   A bow of the head to show respect is proper.   Backing a few steps away before turning is also proper.

A submissive should not speak to another submissive who is in the company of her Dominant without permission to do so.   This is not well observed in pansexual circles.   The proper respect is to gain recognition, greet the Dominant and ask if she might greet his submissive.   Dominants do not usually acknowledge the submissive of another Dominant unless they have a prior acquaintance with her.   Dominants may or my not introduce their submissives, as pleases them and the circumstance.   If they do introduce them, it is usually by first name only.

Chain collars are indicative of Master/slave relationships while leather collars are more common for D/s relationships.   Pet tags may indicate pet status.   Flagging is still common in gay communities, left for Dominant or Top, right for submissive or bottom.   Colors are plentiful; there is a legend on my information page, if you are interested.   Most commonly seen are black (Sm top or bottom), mustard (hung 8″+ or wants one), orange (anything goes), hunter green (daddy/boy), and most recently black/white checked (safe sex).

Speech

Honorifics should be used as such, not as names.   As a rule, a Dominant whose scene name, for instance is “Master Greg”, would be introduced by that entire name, but would be called “Greg” by other Dominants, “Master Greg” or “Sir” by other submissives, and “Master” only by his own submissive.   A Dominant introducing his submissive to this Dominant would introduce him as “Master Greg” so that the submissive would have the correct information.

Dominants will specify the way in which their submissives will address them, such as “Sir”, “M’Lord” or “Master”.   Honorifics can be as complex as the Dominant wishes, and many times are structured in complex ways to test the submissive and keep her on her toes.   They may or may not include a name or a scene name.   Occasionally, a Dominant will have his submissive call him by a given name, because it is difficult for most trained submissives not to use “Sir” and they use it as an exercise in obedience.   This is often mistaken for disrespect, however, and is therefore rare.

The term “voice trained” is often used to describe a submissive who has been trained to speak only when spoken to and to not betray her preferences in her answers.   A variation includes Dominants who have their submissives say “If it pleases you Sir” when they are in agreement and “Only if it pleases you Sir” to indicate the opposite view.   They believe that this gives the appearance of neutrality while giving the Dominant information about the preference.   I personally disagree with this practice and deem it game playing.

High Protocol parties in Denver generally include a rule that submissives do not speak without permission.   Permission is gained by a pre-determined signal.   In discussions, submissives do not participate.   They may speak only to their own Dominants.   House protocols never take priority over personal protocols.

Food and Drink Service

A hostess submissive will serve her Dominant first, the Master of the House second and other Dominants as is convenient to the setting.   She will then serve the Master of the House’s submissive, and then the other submissives in as close to the same order as their Dominants were served.

A submissive being served will either 1) accept food and drink on behalf of their Dominant and serve him themselves, or 2) wait quietly while he is served.

In a vanilla setting such as a restaurant, the submissive will not eat or drink until their Dominant has done so.   Dominants will normally defer to the host in like manner.   When the Dominant is finished eating, the submissive stops unless signaled by her Dominant to finish her meal.

For a more in-depth discussion of Formal Dinner Service, click here

Other Service

A Dominant will not request service of an accompanied submissive without first asking her Dominant to allow it.   An unattended submissive may be requested to provide simple service, or fetch and carry at will, unless she is in a non-communicative protocol.

Service should be carried out as quickly, quietly and seamlessly as possible.   Service that draws attention to itself is in bad taste.

Personal Service

Personal service is normally reserved for one’s Dominant, unless offered to another by one’s Dominant.   A Dominant that requests personal service without consulting one’s Dominant may be told, “I’m sorry Sir, that is not allowed” and referred to the submissive’s Dominant for further discussion.

Master’s Responsibility

The Master is responsible for setting the Protocol level and any individual protocols that He desires.   But, He has another important responsibility; that of protecting His slave.   He should constantly be aware of her.   If she is approached by someone that she doesn’t have permission to interract with, she should be given a specific way to handle the situation.   In Old Guard trained slaves, you will most often hear “Forgive me Sir.   i am not permitted to speak.   My Master **** stands there.   In many current protocols, the slave will be instructed to simply look down at the floor and ignore the contact completely.   In this instance, the Master must be extremely aware and ready to intervene as soon as He observes this reaction.

Another common instruction that a slave may be given an instruction that she should come up into a formal present posture in order to get her Master’s attention (in order to make a request or ask to speak).   If this is the case, He must see it and respond.

Is Old Guard Real ?

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Alt.com, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Breaking Rules, Collar, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, Ego, etiquette, events, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Gorean Portocol, Honesty, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Leather Guard, Master, Masters, morals, munchs, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, older Dominants, Open Minded, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self-Discipline, slave, submissive, TPE on July 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the new today will argue that Old Guard is just a Myth, it never was and never will be. When in fact I do believe and have spoken to elders who were a part of Old Guard, in the late 60’s through the early 80’s

Old Guard refers to the leather community mainly the gay community. I myself am not into the leather scene, nor am I a part of any leather family since most have blown the protocol way out of text. In my eyes a lack of respect of what use to be.

Most of the Leather Family’s today are known as pansexual , you can google that. Unlike Old Guard, today’s Leather family’s welcome most anyone, without even really knowing anything about them. In the Old Guard days there were strict rules and Protocols to be followed. The Old Guard was a closed community and you had to become a member. Before membership was allowed one had to learn all rules and protocols and follow them, if not you got the boot.

Over the years we have strayed, we have lost the meaning of BDSM and it has falling more into just a kink, a past time, weekend warriors, bedroom only. Which is okay but the problem is everyone is right, no one is wrong. When someone hears how a slave or submissive lives they are just blown away and cannot believe they would allow someone to treat them a certain way.

It is not that a slave or submissive in today’s times are part of or believe in Old Guard, they just fall into their Dominants ways of doing things. Being strict, having rules, even protocols both public and private is perfectly okay, when there is no physical or mental abuse involved.

It is not that we take the lifestyle differently some are just more serious than others when it comes to the world of D’s and M’s. How Master Joe runs his house is on him, I do not and will not judge.

Back in the day a Dominant had to make his way through the ranks, there were steps that had to be taking. If a submissive or bottom had more experience than the Dom the sub out ranked the Dom, yea sounds weird. The problem is today’s Dominants want to start out as president they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Unlike today back in the Old Leather Guard there were dress codes, and they were enforced. Arianna and I have attended some local groups and I cannot believe they way some of the sub/slaves come dressed, more so the way their master allows them out of the house. Arianna has pointed out how mouthy some are, how she cannot believe how some disrespect their Doms.

Today it would be almost impossible to put together an exclusive group for meetings or teachings because of how BDSM  has branched out. Most groups come and go because of a dictatorship or just huge egos. Most people today are close minded when it comes to how others live as well

Old Guard when in a social setting it was the Dominant with the most experience who led the conversation, on the other side if the bottom had more experience they led the conversation, if equal the Dom was giving the go ahead.

When walking the submissive walked one or two steps behind, remember you are not equal in a sense. A Dominant would never think of hugging or shaking the hand of a submissive, nor would the submissive make direct eye contact, though the Dominant would. A Dominant would never think of touching another who was owned and collard, there was a respect thing.

Protocols is a lost art today, but what I expect if out in public a Dominant or Submissive should not assume anything. A Dominant should not just walk up to a submissive and strike up a conversation, they same with a submissive. It is however proper and okay to ask. Some couples have no protocols at all, nor do they wish to, this is where the lack of respect comes into play when it comes to what others believe. I have had people say they could never live like Arianna nor would they want to. What we have as a Master and Slave is very unique and special.

Old Guard when a Dominant was being served there were two ways, one palm out and flat drink on palm, the other the sub would kneel head down and arms extended making the offering. Depending on the protocol the sub could either leave or had to ask permission.

Those who play on the internet who belong to sites such as Collarme.com Alt.com BDSM.com and so on generally stay on those sites with very little real in person interaction, those who get lucky enough to find a submissive or Slave generally fuck it up because they have no real clue what a in person interaction is. It does not take long for the Submissive to realize they have been played. The so called Dominant will generally put the blame of the submissive when it comes to the relationship not working.

When I speak about myself at times I mention old school, and not old guard. Old School just means I hold certain values when it comes to the lifestyle, I give and expect respect. I set my life to a certain standard as I do with my Slave. I expect when out my slave is giving the up most respect and she will do the same in return.

So in closing I think we should all get back to the basics when it comes to the lifestyle. Yes we do need rules, yes we do need guidelines, yes we do need dress codes, yes we do need protocols. More so we do need to respect others.

Coming in at the top of those who truly live the lifestyle with the fullest respect are those of the Gorean lifestyle. If you should ever have the honor of meeting a Gorean Master or Slave you would be truly amazed. Old Leather Guard probably not since the lifestyle is based on a line of books, but the lifestyle is very strict and respected by many. I am not saying everyone should live the Gorean way, but if you study up on it, it will give you a way different out look and perspective of their lifestyle.

We should all come together as one, and set standards, keep the lifestyle proud, keep the fakers out. It could be done.

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Vile

Slave in a Part Store

Posted in Bar Code, bdsm, Discipline, etiquette, Master, Owned Slave, Parts Store, slave, submissive on February 5, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have a favorite part store I frequent, even if it is just to buy an Air Freshener. Friday Arianna and I went to purchase tires for the Grand-Am she had bought for the commute back and forth to work. We knew it would cost less in gas than her CRV. While buying tires, it was pointed out to us that the front breaks were in bad shape, and the price we were giving I found to be way to high.

So we paid for the new tires, and off to my favorite part store we go. I wanted to buy the parts then take the car to my favorite mechanic , he does very good work, and only fixes what he is told to fix. Now days it is very hard to find a good mechanic you can trust.

So we pull into Discount Auto Parts. I am hoping Sandy is working, I have known her for a couple of years, and she is the only reason I even buy parts there.

Sandy is a very petite female with solid black hair, who at one time sported the Dorthy Hamill hair cut. Her hair being short , when she would turn around, you could clearly see on the back of her neck. The word Owned, then a Bar Code, which she had copied off of the site Slave Registry. Although Sandy is very hot, I have always been very respectful towards her, and I have never said anything out of the way. Number one reason, she is a slave, and she is owned.

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So while Arianna and I were paying for the parts, I brought up the subject of her Bar Code, and I wanted to know who did it. She began to explain a Friend in Orlando did it, and it was done free style. I let it go at that. I wanted to show Arianna but Sandy had let her hair grow out some and it now covered the Bar Code, and I did not want to ask her to show it to us..

Once Arianna and I were in the car, I made it a point of how Sandy went above and beyond her job in helping with all the parts. She had a very nice but respectful demeanor about her. She took the time to make sure we had everything that was needed, and thanked us.

Here is where I am going with this. Sandy is owned. Sandy represents her owner when she is not with him. The way Sandy acts while at work, or just in public. We live in a small town so I run into Sandy often, and her demeanor and personality is always the same, very nice and polite. If in a store she makes it a point to come up and speak to me. I am sure she knows I am in the lifestyle, and she does not feel threatened in anyway, because she knows I respect her for who and what she is.

Those who take the lifestyle serious, know what I am talking about. Being a submissive or Slave, while in public and away from your Master, you should carry yourself with pride, you are a reflection of your owner.

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Vile

Talk about fake Dominants, But what about the Fake Subs or Slaves

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, blow job, Bond, Bondage, Collars, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, etiquette, events, Fake Dominants, flake slaves, fucking, Health, Humiliation, Love, Master, Masters, Meeting, molding your slave, munchs, oral sex, Protocol, pussy, Rough Sex, Rules, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, submissive on October 4, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Everywhere you turn on the Internet words are spoken of Fake Dominants, beware of the predators , beware of those just looking to use and abuse. It just goes on and on.

What no one really brings up, are the Fake so called Submissives and slaves. A woman reads Fifty Shades Of Grey, and that is life life she so needs now, or not even a fucking book, runs across a vid of some bitch getting tied up spanked, faced fucked, and she thinks this is what I need. An article she read on BDSM this is who I am.

Just like a Submissive or slave devotes a great deal of time trying to start a new relationship, well the same thing goes for the Dominant.

The truth is most not all but most when it comes to a slave or submissive, their life is already turned upside down, mass fucking confusion, they feel there is no where to turn, unloved , no one cares about them, self pity, poor me.

So you want to be owned, a slaves one desire is to be Collard and owned, stand proud next to her Master. Until she finds out she has to put a little work into the relationship, or he likes his cock sucked to much, or he wants to fuck my ass, that is not my thing. He wants to control me to much.

This is what pisses me off, this is me, this is how I work. If I think for one minute you may just be real, one fucking minute. The first thing I want to do is become your friend, fuck sex, fuck BDSM, throw everything to the side. I want to be your best friend, I want to begin to gain your trust.

Now there are some fucked up Doms out there. There are those who are predators , those who use and abuse , and toss you out like an old can.

On the other hand there are those who are real, from day one a dominant begins putting a plan together, one that fits you. One of the first things I get asked. What about rules? What rules are you going to give me? Well the first day, I do not have a clue, maybe not even the first week or month. Every sub or slave is different, different needs, different structure. This is why I for me have to get to know someone.

The bottom line is a real dominant devotes so much time in getting to know a sub or slave, I use both but I prefer Slave.

Can you tell I am upset at this point?

All you women who have a copy of Fifty Shades do me a favor , pick up the book, lift the lid of your trash can, and throw the mother fucker a way. Because your life as a submissive or slave is nothing like the book. It gives nothing but false hope, and lies.

Your life is in total turmoil , you do not know where to run, who you can turn to, then you find the one who is going to rescue you. WRONG this is the biggest mistake you can make in your life, you have to want a relationship in the lifestyle, instead of expecting someone to fix you.

I will give you a good example, I was contacted by a Goth , which I really really dig, average looking, that is okay, I am no Tom Cruise. I do not base anyone on looks, it is what is on the inside, and the personality , those two quality mean so much more, within reason.

This Goth chick contacts me who is 40 ish which is okay, I do prefer a younger slave, but I am not that close minded. The first couple of days everything seems fine. The once she is comfortable she begins to open up, and start sharing more. I will admit for the first couple of days of chatting and talking, my cock was doing more thinking than my brain, I just really dig the Goth Look, the dark makeup, the boots, torn stockings, everything.

Then come the fucking Bomb. Well I have 5 kids who all live at home the youngest is 17, no one else in the house works, two girl friends also live with two of her sons. Why don’t you ever smile? Well my teeth are bad? I am over weight but I need someone to force me to diet, I cant pay my rent, because I have to get my drivers licenses back , that I lost over a year ago. I have a Cyst on my on my kidney that causes so much pain.

You know what fuck you.

You who are submissive or a slave or think you are. You do not have a clue, how much time a dominant spends in putting a plan together, that suites you. His plan is tailored around you, and no one else, a lot of time and thought goes into what is best for you. It is the same thing if you were to join a gym, and you need a private trainer, he puts a program together that fits you.

The a month into the relationship maybe three months, this is the ball breaker, the three month mark. Well this is not for me, I cannot do this, I am not submissive, or maybe I am sub, but not a slave.

You should of come to this conclusion long before, because everything has already been implemented, put into place. This should of been your Que, this is not for me. Speak up, say what is on your mind, instead of leading someone on.

Everything a Dominant, teaches you, tells you, shows you, is to help you in everyday life. Rules, Structure, And yes Protocol, all of these are for your benefit, no one else. It has nothing to do with an alter ego as many think. It has nothing to do with abuse as many think, or I am Dom hear me fucking roar.

In the real world , the truth is, there are just as many fake subs or slaves as there are dominants. I would imagine the number is pretty equal.

Then this is on both sides of the fence, those who just want to play head games, because for what ever reason they have nothing better to do. I do not get it. I cannot stress enough, on how much time we as dominants devote, to building a relationship.

Seeking advice, for a dominant is not an easy task. One there are not many he can trust, not many who wont spread his problem around like a virus gone bad. Do not get me wrong I have many friends in the lifestyle, but we it comes to total trust, the number is zero, notta. I am a private man for the most, and I will keep it that way.

I have also brought up the fact that a sub or slave should ask questions, key questions. Does this always work, no it does not. The same for a dominant, the first two weeks of getting to know you, I have a million questions. I am reluctant to enter a relationship if the slave brings up sex to soon or wants to start sending me nude pics right off the bat. I find that to be very trashy.

All of the above, the head games, the using. Yes I am guilty , in my younger days I was about the pussy, most of the time I didn’t even see what the sub or slave looked like. I did not care, my goal was to get you naked, fuck your brains out, then lose your number. We are all guilty of that. Then at some point my eyes opened up. I needed more, I just could not go out and pick someone up.My conscious kicked in. I began to care about feelings, which is really fucked up in a lot of ways.

We as humans have changed, today it is about what can you do for me. Last month I had a slave ask me if I was going to put her in her own apartment. Get the fuck out, go find another , I do not have time for stupid ass talk, but the bad thing is someone will put her ass up.

Men and women if your into games, go play fucking bingo, find a card club, get a fucking hobby. Do not use people because you are bored, or you get to talk nasty to someone, to get your rocks off, until you get bored.

Get a fucking life.

I see this in personals all the time. I am a slave, I need to be owned, I need to be collard. I need to be used. My limits are, no anal, I do not swallow, No humiliation, I wont wear that, I will not attend public events with you. I do not like bondage. All of this shit is true. A slave really, a submissive not even close.

I do have limits very few but I do. No extreme pain. No Cutting, No children, which should be normal with anyone. No animals, although I have seen K9, just not my thing. No broken bones. No hitting out of anger, which never happens with me. I do not yell or scream at my property, there is no need. A dominant should never have a reason to raise his voice, scream or yell. If you as a dominant have these problems you need to check yourself.

It is not my intention to put more on you than you can handle. I had a slave last year tell me her new dominant gave her a list of 50 rules. I am not going to speak bad of him, but you can have to many rules and when this happens you are setting up for failure, this is devastating to the sub.

Yes there are just as many fake Subs or slaves as there are dominants.

Get a fucking life.

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Vile