Archive for the Ex Husband Category

I spoke with Tish’s Ex Dominant

Posted in abuse, anti depression medication, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Beatings, codependent, Collars, control, controlling, Conversation, Drama, emotional, Ex Dominant, Ex Husband, FaceBook, fetlife, Hypno Dom with tags on December 9, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow I cannot believe how touchy some Doms are. I emailed Tish’s old Dom. Why? Because I can, and two There are two sides to a story when it comes to a breakup.

I wanted to take the hit since Tish did not want any confrontation , and now I understand why.. Being her real first Dom, and not knowing what questions to ask a slave will take ones word, and she does not really know any better. Or the same if a male slave has a mistress.

I was very polite , when I sent the email, I explained who I was, and my purpose for the email. and this dude came unglued at the seems.

The first of five emails were to Tish. Your a whore, your a cunt, you never will be happy. You are unable to make any decisions on your own, it just went on and on. As I was reading I am thinking this cannot be the words of a Dominant. Even though he had not put a collar on her, he explained he still owned her until Dec 21st.

Now just a little background , he lived in Ohio and she would fly up from Orlando, on the weekends. He would flip for 75% of the airfare, and she would pay the other 25%. So this had to be worked out before she left.

Tish still feels guilty about getting a divorce, like she did something wrong, but when it had gotten to the point where she was not getting anything out of her marriage, she did the right things. She stays in contacted with her ex husband, which the Ex Dominant found to be intimidating for what ever reason. It was okay for his to be with other slaves.

On Tish’s Birthday her ex Husband sent her flowers and candy, again the Dominant was upset. While I agree the communication should be limited , they were married for nine years and pretty much left of good terms.

I do not have an ego that can be crushed, I understand people have to communicate. You cannot just cut a sub or slave off from the world.

Outside of BDSM there was no real communication. Everything that was talked about was Master and slave. He explained during play, that she was to except his pain, this was the way she was to show her appreciation . Tish is not into any heavy pain, if she gets to that point she will ask, but nothing extreme, you have to get her to that point during play, but it does not happen every time.

So I contacted him, very nice email, on FetLife explaining what was going through her mind, but the reply’s were those of anger.

His training consisted of  having her nude and cuffed, she cleaned his house, done his laundry, and cooked.

Oh and the 128 basic rules which were written by a young Dom in the mid 80’s minus one and a couple added.

I disrespected him because I did not agree with his methods. While I did not agree I also explained , that while we were all different, and I may not always agree, you would never hear me speak bad of another Dom.

Many Dominants and sub/slaves on here that follow me do not agree with everything I say, I am not looking for everyone to agree with me.

Who today is not on some type of anti depression medication. At times Meds have to be changed, When this happens emotions change. So we as Dominants have to adjust, and continue walking forward, if you truly care about someone. A lot of subs/slaves are codependent , most are needy, most need to know they are excepted, most need approval, most need to know when they have done well, and not just the bad when a rule is broken.

If someone is emotional , you cannot tell one to take a pill and go to bed. Prior to considering a relationship these are questions that are asked. We then makeup our own mind. Do we choose to enter a relationship, or just walk away. If we choose, then that means we are willing to pick up the baggage , and take things as they come.

The foundation the two have to build, you have to start out as friends. As our friendship grows, I slowly begin to implement a few rules and guidelines. I have to see which areas in her life she needs the most help with. This should be the foundation of your rules. By doing this you are laying down the ground work, so you can begin to work on structure. Staying positive is very important. You want the sub/slave to feel needed, a purpose if you will.

A D’s relationship is much easier to maintain than a vanilla relationship in my opinion. Both enter the relationship knowing where each one stands. You both know what is expected of each other.

If we the Dominant are not willing to be there when one is emotional, talk to and hold, what is our purpose.

I we have a small group on FaceBook, I posted a picture of Tish. She is really very beautiful, smart, and caring.

I may post a few of her ex Doms mail, but some of it gets pretty personal. I will have to think on that. She also spent time with the Hypno Dom I posted about, who I also emailed but never got an answer. Others are now looking for him, and many have put the word out about him.