Archive for the exploiting your slave Category

Abuse Is Alive And Well

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Mentor, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheaters, Cheating Dominant, Choices, communication, compatibility, consequences, Dominance Through Intimidation, exploiting your slave, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master and slave relationship, relationships, Slave, Submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

MAsT:Kissimmee

 

May 19th

 

Meeting

A small group of 9 attended the 19th meeting and the topic was abuse. Even though I lead the MAsT, Masters and Slaves Together. http://www.mast.net , if you are not familiar with MAsT check out the site.

Abuse many understood how abuse can happen in a D’s or M’s relationship some were still unsure.

Girl- L  who is an awesome friend helped facilitate the meeting and she came loaded with awesome information. I myself like to let different people facilitate MAsT meetings because it make someone feel a part of. We also get different point of views which is truly needed.

The meeting is held at our home , meeting in this type of environment allows people to speak freely with out prying ears. It allows people to relax and let go where as they would not in a public setting.

We also spoke about how abuse is just not about men but there are women who abuse as well , mainly through manipulation or known better Topping from the Bottom. Most of the time this only occurs if the Dominant is not experienced or very new to the lifestyle…

Many times the abuse can be stopped prior to entering a relationship with the right education and asking the right questions. The problem today is many are to impatient and do not care about taking the proper steps. Being active in the community is a huge step forward , making friends as well. I have a handful of people I actually consider my friend. However being active does not always solve all problems because there is a dick or a bitch at every corner. The thing is it does not matter what others think about you or how you should be living your life, that is unless they are going to pay your bills..

One thing about the BDSM lifestyle is everybody is right and no one is wrong , everyone has the right answer and everyone is wrong. No one knows what they are talking about, even on Fetlife everyone is wrong. The one thing i noticed is all the people giving advice about how your life should go are single more so Doms. So yes taking advice from someone who has never been a D’s relationship is the way to go..

Abuse when it comes to the lifestyle is a huge gray area and it can be a touchy subject for some.

I know I have been approached by Doms in the community asking me if I thought I was to strict on Arianna. I suppose this is the difference between a Master and a Dominant, a Submissive and a Slave, having rules and protocols or just letting your girl run wild, and having no consequences for their actions.

I run a very smooth home, I am strict and firm, but I do so without arguing , screaming, calling names or even getting physical. I have rules in place and they are followed, I have protocols and they are followed.

I am not a 9 to 5 Dominant , I am not a weekend warrior , I am not a once every now and then Dominant , I am 24/7 and no less. I take full responsibility for not only my relationship but I admit when a mistake is made. One thing Arianna comes first and always will , I will drop what ever I am doing if needed. A Submissive or Slave should have 24/7 access to their Dominant or Master and no less, there are no excuses.

Okay ive been ranting a little and if you follow me you know by know I get off the subject at times.

One thing that really irks me is when mental abuse comes into play. When a slave or submissive is suffering from depressions, maybe being bipolar , manic and the newly found Dom does not see the signs or maybe he just does not give a fuck. Having any or all of these symptoms can put unneeded stress on someone and cause more damage.

Many times everything is in the open but many times who ever suffers from such a  disease will not be upfront about their illness. Many are ashamed but more are scared of failing a new relationship.

I myself cannot even imagine how someone who is bipolar , come close to even knowing what their thought process is, or even how one makes it through a normal day , much less how someone would handle being tied down and beaten, or used sexually. I would not even want to comprehend the thought process, or how scared or confused someone might be.

On the other hand there are some aspects of the lifestyle in which someone could benefit from a D’s or M’s home , if it was based on more of a structured setting , where rules and protocols were put in place to be beneficial. Understanding ones limits and not trying to push that explore button.  Insuring they are on medication and on the proper medication.

Just to let you know I am not talking out of my ass I am speaking from experience. I am living in such a relationship. The beginning  was a rough start but 3 years later I am and we are blessed. I suppose the setting would be different if love did not play a part , I suppose it would be different if you were just being used as a fuck toy….

The above can only be accomplished if you truly know someone and you care enough to put any effort into building a lasting relationship.

Some of the most common situations when it comes to abuse starts out with isolation. Separating you from friends and family. Making you turn over passwords to all of your accounts. Emails , social media , not allowing you to speak with other Doms, and the most severe is your banking information.

These tactics are used by Doms who are insecure or new to the lifestyle. Many have anger issues and use fear in order to obtain your submission, verbal and eventually it will turn physical.

Being new it will take some time to catch on before you will see the abuse or something pay hit you , thinking Hmmm there is something here that is not right. You feel like you have no one to turn to, after all you have turned your back on all of your friends, but even then how would you explain such a relationship?

Female abuse happens often and this is done through manipulation, and it happens with a Dom who lacks experience. However there are times when ones judgement can be blurred by letting feeling get in the way of a D’s or M’s relationship.

I have written about this subject many many times and at times I get this fuck it attitude because the truth is maybe one out of a hundred even takes notice.

The signs are clear first is isolation from friends and family , making you give all passwords to your email and social  media and email. Constantly putting you down calling you names and telling you , you area  worthless bitch. At times taking your banking information.

The fist date is either a Denny’s or a motel and your training starts off with you sucking cock. You get to see your new Dom maybe once a month if your lucky, or maybe more often to suck cock. The first date is the only date you are seen in public with him, unless your dumb enough to invite a total stranger to your house.

When you ask a question or question the way the relationship is going you get yelled at.

You the s;ave the submissive should have 24/7 access to your Dominant no questions asked. If you text you should get an answer , but most of the time it is days not minutes.

Most of the time you know something is wrong but you have it in your head he is the one, there is no one else who can fill his shoes , or should I say diapers.

You know I am not so sure it is abuse at times , I think it is more on the side of the Dom not knowing what they are doing. Many do not understand the amount of time it takes to develop a new D’s or M’s relationship, or most may not want to invest the time it takes, or some may not even consider the needs the submissive may have. Many see the relationship more as a maid service or just a sex toy but it runs much much deeper than just a piece of ass.

Ive had many new Dominants tell me they want to talk and spend time with me, and after I agree I hear nothing else from them.

There are those who are just male chauvinist pigs who see a bdsm relationship as a open door to abuse and just use and toss away until they have that need again.

After 3 years I am still finding it takes a great deal of time and communication.. I get to a point to where I have to alter things such as protocols or rules , I may have to add or take away. Both of us sit down and go over the rules to see if they still apply or maybe make some changes, maybe head in a new direction.

Only you the submissive knows what you need and you need to have a plan and know exactly what you need out of a relationship. Because a mistake made more than once is a decision , and everything falls on you if you allow yourself to continue to be unhappy or used…

What kind of Dom are you looking for ? What type of submissive are you ? Are you a slave? If so a Daddy Dom would not fit your needs. Are you a Masochist ? Then a Daddy Dom is not going to work.

You need to know who you are and what you need before you can begin your search.  Just because a Dom contacts you does not mean he is the one for you…

Last you need someone you can talk to , someone who understands you or at least tries, you need to have an outlet when something is not going well….

Again a Mistake made more than one is a decision..

There are those who crave to be used for what ever reason , those who continue to fall into the same trap, and just sit around wondering what has gone wrong or blaming others.. life is based on two things and only two choices and consequences .

Then I have to rag on the married Doms who are married and they cheat on their vanilla wives who know nothing about the other side of their husband. The wives who believe they have built the perfect home. Let me tell you something a man has what he has because of his partner , be it a vanilla wife a submissive or slave she built the kingdom.

He will talk about how bad she is and how he plans to leave her, she is a bitch and does not understand him, there is no communication , she takes no interest in his likes or hobbies. She is a total bitch.

If she was really so bad he would of left long ago. However maybe if this so called Dom had communication skills and really tried his wife who built his kingdom might be open to a little kink.

Instead he finds someone like you, who will take his bullshit , who will take his verbal abuse, and physical abuse. Someone who will take his humiliation, someone who wants to control you but he is controlling not in control. Someone who takes it up the ass because his wife will not…

Your a piece of ass and you will lose every time. You would cost him to much money if he left not to mention if there are kids involved… He is not going to leave the security he has the security his wife has built. You will do just fine until you become to needy and you will and he will dump you because you have become a liability.

While I was married to a vanilla for 9 years I never stepped out on her. I was in the lifestyle prior to meeting her but I was trying to change who I was. I wanted the house, the cars, the kids and the dog. My first month I knew I had made a bad mistake. Remember the choices and consequences ?

After 9 years I came clean about who I was and what I needed. I lost a house on the beach , two cars and a lot of money. I left with 1500 dollars in cash a canvas  bag full of clothes dirty and clean, and a beat up Yamaha 750.

My philosophy is if your not happy get the fuck out.. There is no reason to drag someone through the mud more so over something I did. I lied to her , I mislead her, I was someone I was not, and I made a fool out of her. I can say for the past 9 years I have paid child support every week and I have never missed a payment working or not..

You do not have to let someone drag you through the mud and in the end it will be your fault…

 

 

 

 

BDSM And Fetlife

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, control, controlling, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, etiquette, exhibitionism, exploiting your slave, Fetlife Groups, Humiliation, MAST, Master And Slave, munchs, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Slave Owned Property, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used on March 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I thought I had found a place where I fit. I thought I found new friends well I was hoping anyway. Someone I could speak with on the same level and someone who truly understood where I was coming from.
Before sending a friend request I wanted to get to know the Master a little more. I wanted to see where he was coming from , and what his feelings were.
I had even gone as far as inviting him and his slave to dinner , mainly because we had so much in common…

I need that interaction with others in the lifestyle , I need to be able to relax , talk about things we have in common or just shoot the shit

The Master has not been active in the local community but I was willing to look that over , again things in common, we were on the same page of what an M’s relationship was all about. He is starting a new group and I was going to go as far as to promote it for him so we could get a good group together.

There are not very many Dominants who think or feel the way I do about the lifestyle , some even say I am somewhat unorthodox in my ways, or I am to strict , I need to let up a little , give Arianna some breathing room.

All in all I am me and nothing is going to change, I am who I am and I am completely happy. Right now I am in a good place and I do not see things changing anytime in the future.

So I have been on Fetlife for several years now. I have had one other profile but it has since been taking down now for a couple of years. I belong to about 21 groups and I have about 40 friends 90% of which I have met.
There has not been a group that has caught my eye until last week.

MALEDOM Central Florida…. Description:

A central Florida community of Male Dominants and female submissives that operates under the belief that “women exist to be the property, servants and playthings of men”

Okay so I am in the game so far , because this for the most is what I truly believe. I have believed this since a very early age going back to my teens.

Basic Membership Rules:
*Only 100% Dominant Males and 100% submissive females please, no switches.

*Females is defined as “having a vagina.” Post op transsexuals are always welcome, however no submissive men may join, including sissies, crossdressers, and pre op transgender. If you have a penis and are submissive, this is not the group for you.

*females will address ALL males respectfully and submissively at ALL times, addressing them as “Sir” unless otherwise instructed.
1. This is one of the problems I started to have with the Moderator of the group. The way I look at it is we are all different so I am not here to bad mouth anyone. We all have different point of views when it comes to the lifestyle , but unless under my direction Arianna does not and will not address another Dominant as SIR. That is part of my protocols and those who have been in the lifestyle for any time knows and understands my way of thinking..

*This group operates under the firmly held belief that “women exist to be the property, servants, and playthings of Men” so all members must share this mindset.

*Dominants must be courteous regarding other Dominants property, but all females will be treated as just that, property. females will always interact with Dominants without arguing, backtalking, or giving sass. There will be no expectation of respect, fair treatment, courtesy or politeness to property. females have no rights to ANYTHING here.

Here is the second problem I had , now mind you him and I have been texting and things have been going smoothly. Again we had a lot in common or so I thought….

Now he is new to the community as far as being active , so I am not sure how long he has been in a M’s lifestyle we never got that far.

Here are some more things I found troubling. I am The Master of Arianna , I am the owner of Arianna, and she is my property. Although there may be times I ask for advice I do have the final say in all matters…..

ALL females, whether owned or not, must wear a collar to ALL events. If they are not owned this is to signify and reinforce that they are property, not people, and certainly NOT equal to ANY male. Once inside any private event, all females will be expected to immediately strip down to panties or change into revealing fetishwear. If any Dominants would prefer their property to be dressed differently at an indoor, private event, please contact Master Joe at 555-555-5555, and exceptions can be made. If no prior arrangements have been made, females will be expected to strip down to panties and collar or revealing fetish wear at the door.

*ALL females will help serve at events and will be available to get drinks and food for Dominants. Any Dominant who wishes to remove His property from this group service for a period of time may do so by putting her on a leash or lead. Any female not on a leash or lead may be ordered by ANY Dominant to perform simple NONSEXUAL service (get drinks, move chairs, etc) and must immediately obey.

*No female will be required to participate in any sexual play (unless her Owner orders it, of course). If a female is available for play or open to sexually serving Dominants other than hers, this can be demonstrated by attaching a pink ribbon to her collar. A pink ribbon does NOT require a Dominant to allow His property to participate in any play and is used only to indicate that asking her owner is welcomed and not offensive. Any female without a pink ribbon attached to her collar is understood to be unavailable for sexual service or play with others and MUST NOT be ordered to and her Owner should not be asked as this is very rude and offensive.

*Please be courteous with other Dominant’s property. females are property and playthings and deserve no respect, however, if a female is owned, please remember that her Owner DOES deserve respect, so all Dominants please act accordingly.

Now the above

His group , he is the moderator , but I do find a few things wrong, okay wrong is not the right word. Maybe I would do thinga a little different..

While I do agree with 95% of the above there is 5 % I do not, and I will explain why.

I blogged last week I think it was about exploiting slaves and submissives , and the above is a form of just that. There are some factors you have to look into and respect being one of them , and then you have the mental side of things. Just how much can your property take? Although I do believe at times some humiliation is needed to keep things in check, but never in a public setting.

So shortly after Arianna and I met I began to put protocols in place as well as a few rules. Some of the things she wanted clarification on , was sharing , and being exposed in front of others, and if I would be taking on other Slaves as well ? Those are all good questions so I answered all of them , No Sharing , she would not be exposed and I had not thought about taking on another slave nor would I unless she brought it up and she has.
In the end I gave my word and for me to go back , well it would not look very good, and I lose that trust we have built. Rules once in place there is no changing , I have the right to add or amend if asked but I am head cheese.

There are no Dominants or Masters I know of who would agree to have their property topless at a gathering and be at other Dominants beck and call. I would never allow such a thing to go on.

Finding the right partner is hard enough for Dominants , Master , Slaves and those who are submissive. You cannot go back on your word.
In the end our partner , our submissive , our slave , our property, we are the only ones they can turn to and they need to know we are going to be there.

Again I am not here to bad mouth anyone. I did read in the rules though exceptions would be made if contacted and in my case there were no exceptions.

cuffed

Vile

Were Invited To A Party

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, Bondage, collar and leash, Dominant, Dominants, dungeon, exploiting your slave, MAST, Master & Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , on March 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I received a text a couple of weeks ago, inviting Arianna and I to a party. The party will be held where we have our MasT meetings. Masters And Slaves Together.

I thought it was going to just be a get together, dinner, conversation, just chilling which at this time I really need to just chill, my mind is pretty burnt right now, well it is exhausted.

Anyway I was thinking about the St Andrews cross this Dom has set up and I texted him showing interest in it. He responded it was for sale he paid 250.00 dollars for it and I could buy after the party. Then I knew what kind of party it was going to be.

Although the party is invitation only, and I did not know this until Arianna had brought it up because I was going to contact someone else and ask what was going on, but now knowing it is invitation only I have no idea who is and who is not invited.

I do need that get away, I need to be able to communicate with those in the lifestyle, that is kinda like my downtime , I am able to relax and talk to others who are on the same page.

I have been to a couple of fuck parties but I have never been one to take part in, I really do not get anything out of it. I suppose if your into sharing you may get something out of it.

I find going to parties like that is a form of exploiting your slave. Don’t get me wrong I do enjoy showing Arianna off, because she has a body built for sin, but as far as going to a party and getting naked and playing, its really not my thing. Even using some of the Bondage equipment I find it weird using someone elses things knowing who has been on the cross or the spanking bench.

Now some of the things that would not bother me, one being getting my cock sucked while talking to another Dom, I would find that pretty interesting. Two , would be walking Arianna around on a leash. Ive had Arianna flash her pussy in front of another Dominant before, but that was only because I knew how bad he wants to fuck her.

I am interested in the St Andrews Cross the Dom has for sale and 250.00 is a good price it is well built. I found a kit on line for 199.00 with 60 dollars shipping so it comes out to about the same. The only advantage would be is buying a kit and putting it together yourself. Here is the link.

http://www.dungeondelights.com/store/product_info.php?cPath=37&products_id=175

So we may go to the party and hang out for a while, and see how wild it gets, I do know some people I have no desire seeing nude.

Image

Vile