Now before you jump the gun, there were several submissives who contacted me last night who were agreeing with me.
Many today are still pretty confused about the collar or how one earns one. There are also many Dominants since the 50 shades of grey has come out that do not have a clue. Since the books have been out Dominants have been popping up like weeds in your yard.
Sometime ago the collaring process could take 2 to 5 years for a submissive or slave to earn their collar. It has only been in the last ten years or so that this has changed. The consideration time, the training time depending on the submissive or the slave could go beyond the 5 year mark.
Today a submissive can earn a collar on the first date, eh maybe 30 days, which seems to be the average.
Just to let everyone know it was eight months before I collared Arianna, it would of been six months but she refused my first offer. I am not sure if everyone knew that or not.
So I had to regroup think things out, figure out what I had missed, I had to do a little restructuring change things up a little. Wow she really told me no. It turned out good though and I would not of changed anything.
So the collaring process this was before the pansexual epidemic hit the world of BDSM everybody fucking everybody. Zero control, open the trash can throw all the structure and protocols in it. Fuck who needs rules we are just going to have sex. You want to fuck my slave sure man have at it. Those of you who do not know what pansexual is.
There you go
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Pansexuality, or omnisexuality, is sexual attraction, sexual desire, romantic love, or emotional attraction toward people of all gender identities and biological sexes. Self-identified pansexuals may consider pansexuality a sexual orientation, and refer to themselves as gender-blind, asserting that gender and sex are insignificant or irrelevant in determining whether they will be sexually attracted to others. The Oxford Dictionary of English defines pansexuality as, “not limited or inhibited in sexual choice with regard to gender or activity”.
The concept of pansexuality rejects the gender binary, the “notion of two genders and indeed of specific sexual orientations”, as pansexual people are open to relationships with people who do not identify as strictly men or women.
So here comes the change , and don’t get me wrong I welcome change to an extent, I am probably the most open minded man on earth you will ever meet. I do have friends who are pansexual dear friends who are pansexual.
That is one of the problems today with poly relationships even when there is a Dominant involved there is no structure , no rules if there are rules there are no consequences if rules are broken, and there are zero protocols, and those of you who have been to BDSM events have seen just what I am talking about.
So yes today you can earn a collar on the first date, but does it really mean anything to you? What did you do to earn it? Because you swallow ? Okay I am not saying everybody sucks cock on the first date. If I dated someone or met someone and I just wanted my cock sucked and it was in the parking lot of Denny’s guess what ? She did not get another call, I lost her number. Okay I am guilty of that I knew there was no chance of a relationship but she may have been hot or I liked the shape of her lips. If you fuck on the first date nah not for me, second yea possible you already have that connection.
You should want to earn a collar, the collar should be very special to you. The meaning of the collar is pure ownership. You have giving yourself, and have agreed to let someone take over your life.
Let me tell you something , 98% of the time if you do not live in a 24/7 setting it does and will not work. It may work for a short time six months to a year, but it will not work. If a Dominant cares enough about you to put a collar around your neck, then he should care enough about you to move you in, or there may be the case where you make more money than he does and it makes more sense for him to move in with you. If he has a job, and a car, and is able to obtain work once he moves.
So you put your Submissive or Slave under Consideration , in some protocols there is a Consideration Collar , this collar can be taken off when going out or to bed or when company comes over. How long would you consider someone before you decided you wanted to go forward with a relationship ? That would really depend on the two.
The Training Collar this is a collar giving to the Submissive or Slave so the two can begin their formal training. Again this collar can come off when needed, or can be worn just at play time or when your Dominant is present.
How long does the Training process take. Well with Arianna I am going to say Hmmm the real in depth training was 90 days and a total of six months, and we are still going after almost two years. I have found that during our relationship I have had to add things and take away things.
The Collar , the collar of ownership. The Collar should be something that is picked out by the two, it should be something that is agreeable by both the Slave and Master or the Submissive and Dominant. Then a ceremony is planned if your anything like me I wanted it to be special. That is why we decided to do it on our wedding day at the same time.
The Collar on the slave is to be worn and it could on be taken off by the Master. Dominants and Submissive’s are different very few wear their collar 24/7.
It was funny Arianna went to the dentist to get her Teeth cleaned she has the whitest teeth I have ever seen, anyway before doing X rays they asked her to remove her necklace. She replied I cant , and the Hygienist said why ? Arianna said its locked and I do not have the key. A Few minutes later the Dentist came in and looked at it and said he had never seen anything like it in his life, but they were still able to do the X rays.
The term Daddy Dom and Baby Girl is relatively new to the lifestyle. It is a Term that emerged about 15 years ago maybe a little longer but not by much. I was looking for some kind of date but I could not pin point one down. Any way there are a couple of difference stages of a Daddy Dom and Baby Girl.
Most are not sexual those who are truly growing up little’s, although it has nothing to do with incest , the girl is usually around the age of 10 or 12 and at times younger. I have known some to even wear diapers. Most of the time a Daddy Dom has more than one baby girl, but the baby girl rarely has more than one Daddy. A lot of Daddy Doms are married and very few live with their Baby girls.
I am going to share a link from a Tumbler that a Baby Girl wrote to give a little more insight.
Now my reasoning behind the not collaring. Most Daddy Dom and Baby Girl relationships lack any type of structure, almost no protocols and I have seen this when out at different functions as well. Most are not long term. A Baby girls first daddy is seldom the last one. Although there are rules, rules are seldom followed and many times there are no consequences. I have never seen a Baby Girl with a collar on, and believe me when out I am a people watcher. The lack of respect when out towards their daddy is something less desirable. Again this is the growing up little’s I am talking about.
The other relationship The Daddy Dom and the Baby girl is really not age related, again very new to the lifestyle, but we try to except everyone, mainly because everyone is different, our kinks are different. So The Masters and Dominant open our doors with open arms. Munch’s MasT meetings and so on. I find it at times the baby girl to be very disruptive , again no protocols , no rules, and back talking their Dominant right there is public.
Then to have someone who is not a Slave or submissive because most Baby girls are only submissive when they feel like it. Have the nerve to criticize how someone else lives, or simply say that is wrong. Um wait you are at a BDSM munch Bondage Discipline Sado Masochism. .
We talk down about things we do not understand, we judge people because we do not understand, and even when you try to explain , they already have a mental picture in their mind, your fighting a losing battle.
Several months ago we went to a Munch In St Augustine Florida. Arianna could not believe how disruptive some of the subs were and most were Baby Girls and their Daddy sitting next to them like nothing was going on. At times we could not even hear the presenter, and at this time the moderator should of stepped up and showed a few people to the door. This is not the only instance…
Most Baby Girls when collared do not wear their collars, they only wear when they have that feeling of submission come over them, or when Daddy states he wants the collar on and then it is for play.
I take the lifestyle very very serious, as does Arianna . Last night we were talking about getting another collar, and I had found some that looked like eternity collars but they were made out of aluminum. She said NO. She said I am not going to down grade, the weight for one it would not have the same effect. Okay I understood.
When people disrespect the collar in my eyes it is the same as burning our US Flag. That is how serious I take my lifestyle. Sometimes I even hate the word lifestyle, if you think about it I am not a lifestyle I am me.
The collar not not have to be a big bulky leather one, or even an eternity collar, but something to represent ownership. How many of you can reach up right now and touch your collar?
Again these are just my views, my opinion and nothing more, but if your going to attend a BDSM event show some respect and be respectful of others.