Archive for the Fear Category

BDSM And The Law

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, BDSM And The Law, Bondage, communication, Consensual, Deception, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Fear, https://ncsfreedom.org/, https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html, Humiliation, Impact play, Law, munchs, non-consensual, owning a slave, Police, Rough Sex, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, slave, submissive on January 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a very touchy topic, because if something does ever come up, the outcome depends on your first five minutes or so with the Authorities. The police at your front door.

Your playing one night and you get into a deep session , and things get a little loud. The next thing you know someone is knocking on your door. You open it and there stands the men in blue, holding a flashlight, and the questions start rolling.

What you say in the first 30 seconds depends on whether you the Dominant is going to jail or not. When speaking always make sure you have eye to eye contact. What is more important call your submissive to the door with you.

The submissive should only speak when spoken to, the submissive should only give direct short answers while not volunteering any information.

We are two consenting adults taking part in sexual play nothing more. We do enjoy rough sex but nothing more. The term BDSM should never come up, the word sex can.

Second you do not have to let them in your home, even if they should ask, you simply say no. Remember what you say in the first 30 seconds depends on a lot. This is something that should be practiced in your head over and over.

Let your submissive speak freely when asked a question, reassuring there is nothing going on except some wild sex. Again you do not have to let the police inside your home.

Now on the flip side of things this is not what these dumb ass fake Doms do not understand. You meet a new submissive and you play on the first meeting. Things get a little to rough, and he ends up hurting the submissive. The submissive picks up her things and goes straight to the police. You Mr. Dom are going to jail, straight to jail you will not pass go and you will not collect 200 dollars.

In our world there is no defense when it comes to the word consent. You will not be able to say well she let me tie her up, and let me beat her ass.

Listen to me, there is no Judge that will let you use Consent as a defense. Do your research. As a matter of fact I will even show you case law and proof. You will go to jail, maybe prison depending on how bad you beat someones ass. If you have a career you can kiss it good bye, if your one of the married ones you will lose everything you have worked so so hard for.

We are lucky to have an organization who stands with us, although they have been under fire recently about their funds as far as being a 501 3c , but they are still there and they are there for the community.

The group is called NCSF National Coalition for Sexual Freedom,for those of you who are new to the lifestyle, you should visit their site and read. They offer a lot of benefits, advice and here is the kicker. They have a long list of professionals that are on your side when it comes to the lifestyle.

These professionals being Doctors , Lawyers , and yes even Psychologist regular MD’s , as well as Counselors and Therapist’s. The group provides many many benefits.

Most of the time when a couple goes to court together the Male or Dom will not even be allowed to use the word consent, the Judge will simply not allow it. It will still be looked at as you got made and you beat your girls ass out of anger.

So you meet this Dom and your in a session, you have giving a safe word you are going to use, such as red. Things get a little rougher than you thought and you scream out RED, and he does not stop. After you are untied if your able to get up, and you decide to go to the police he will go to jail. This is your right. You may have agreed to a session but you did not agree to be hurt.

You should simply get dressed get in your car and go straight to the police. Because if you do not and you just go home, he will think he got away with what he has done. You will not be the only victim I promise you. By you not going to the police, opens the door for him to abuse again.

Here is a link you should look at, it is on the NCSF website and it explains more about the Law and BDSM

https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html

While the group is actively fighting for those who take the lifestyle serious and those who are real, they in now way condone any type of abuse, and they will not stand by you if that be the case.

Several years ago we had a Representative from NCSF come and speak at a local Munch, and there was way to much information to absorb in such a short period of time.

Listen to others and learn. Do not be a victim.

BDSM AND THE LAW

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Certain BDSM activities are considered illegal in some countries.

The relationship between BDSM and the law changes significantly from nation to nation. It is entirely dependent on the legal situation in individual countries whether the practice of BDSM has any criminal relevance or legal consequences. Criminalization of consensually implemented BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland some BDSM practices can be considered criminal. Spectacular incidents like the US-American scandal of People v. Jovanovic and the British Operation Spanner demonstrate the degree to which difficult grey areas can pose a problem for the individuals and authorities involved. It is very important to learn the legal status of the right of consent in the judicial statue of the country of resident for the practitioners of BDSM.

Germany

The practice of BDSM is not generally penalized in Germany if it is conducted with the mutual consent of the partners involved.

The following sections of the criminal code may be relevant in certain instances for BDSM practices:

To fulfill the charge of coercion, the use of violence or the threat of a “severe mistreatment” must involve an endangerment to life and limb. In cases where the continued application of the treatment could be ended through the use of a safeword, neither coercion nor sexual coercion may be charged. In the case of charges of sexual abuse of people incapable of resistance, similar principles apply. In this case, taking advantage of a person’s inability to resist in order to perform sexual acts on that person is considered punishable. The potential use of the safeword is considered to be sufficient possibility for resistance, since this would lead to the cessation of the act, and so a true inability to resist is not considered to be in effect. The charge of insult (slander) can only be prosecuted if the defamed person chooses to press charges, according to §194. False imprisonment can be charged if the victim—when applying an objective view—can be considered to be impaired in his or her rights of free movement.

According to §228 of the German criminal code, a person inflicting a bodily injury on another person with that person’s permission violates the law only in cases in which the deed can be considered to have violated good morals in spite of permission having been given. On 26 May 2004, the Criminal Panel No. 2 of the Bundesgerichtshof (German Federal Court) ruled that sado-masochistically motivated physical injuries are not per se indecent and thus subject to §228.[1] Still, this ruling makes the question of indecency dependent on the degree to which the bodily injury might be likely to impair the health of the receiving party. According to the BGH, the line of indecency is definitively crossed when “under an objectively prescient consideration of all relevant circumstances the party granting consent could be brought into concrete danger of death by the act of bodily injury.” In its ruling, the court overturned a verdict by the Provincial Court of Kassel, according to which a man who had choked his partner and thereby involuntarily strangled her, had been sentenced to probation for negligent manslaughter. The court had rejected a conviction on charges of bodily injury leading to death on the grounds that the victim had, in its opinion, consented to the act. Following cases in which sado-masochistic practices had been repeatedly used as pressure tactics against former partners in custody cases, the Appeals Court of Hamm ruled in February 2006 that sexual inclinations toward sado-masochism are no indication of a lack of capabilities for successful childraising.[2]

United Kingdom

British law does not recognize the possibility of consenting to actual bodily harm. Such acts are illegal, even between consenting adults, and these laws are enforced (R v Brown being the leading case).[3] This leads to the situation that, while Great Britain and especially London are world centers of the closely related fetish scene, there are only very private events for the BDSM scene which are in no way comparable to the German “Play party” scene.

Following Operation Spanner the European Court of Human Rights ruled in January 1999 in Laskey, Jaggard and Brown v. United Kingdom that no violation of Article 8 occurred because the amount of physical or psychological harm that the law allows between any two people, even consenting adults, is to be determined by the jurisdiction the individuals live in, as it is the State’s responsibility to balance the concerns of public health and well-being with the amount of control a State should be allowed to exercise over its citizens. In the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill 2007, the British Government cited the Spanner case as justification for criminalizing images of consensual acts, as part of its proposed criminalization of possession of extreme pornography.[4]

Canada

In 2004 a judge in Canada ruled that videos seized by the police featuring BDSM activities were not obscene, and did not constitute violence, but a “normal and acceptable” sexual activity between two consenting adults.[5]

In 2011, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled in R. v. J.A. that a person must have an active mind during the specific sexual activity in order to legally consent. The Court ruled that it is a criminal offence to perform a sexual act on an unconscious person – whether or not that person consented in advance.[6]

Italy

For Italian law, BDSM is right on the border between crime and legality, and everything lies in the interpretation of the Code by the judge. This concept is that anyone willingly causing “injury” to another person is to be punished. In this context, though, “injury” is legally defined as “anything causing a condition of illness”, and “illness” is ill-defined itself in two different legal ways. The first is “any anatomical or functional alteration of the organism” (thus technically including little scratches and bruises too); The second is “a significant worsening of a previous condition relevant to organic and relational processes, requiring any kind of therapy”. This makes it somewhat risky to play with someone, as later the “victim” might call for foul play using any sort of little mark as evidence against the partner. Also, any injury requiring over 20 days of medical care must be denounced by the professional medic who discovers it, leading to automatic indictment of the person who caused it. BDSM play between nonconsenting adults or minors or in public is of course punished according to “normal” laws.[7]

Austria

§90 of the criminal code declares bodily injury (§§ 83, 84) or the endangerment of physical security (§89) to not be subject to penalty in cases in which the “victim” has consented and the injury or endangerment does not offend moral sensibilities. Case law from the Austrian Supreme Court has consistently shown that bodily injury is only offensive to moral sensibilities (and thus punishable) when a “serious injury” (meaning a damage to health or an employment disability lasting more than 24 days) or the “death” of the “victim” results. A light injury is considered generally permissible when the “victim” has consented to it. In cases of threats to bodily well-being, the standard depends on the probability that an injury will actually occur. If serious injury or even death would be a likely result of a threat being carried out, then even the threat itself is considered punishable.[citation needed]

Switzerland

The age of consent in Switzerland is 16 years, which also applies for BDSM play. Children (i.e. those under 16) are not subject to punishment for BDSM play as long as the age difference between them is less than three years. Certain practices, however, require granting consent to light injuries and thus are only allowed for those over 18. Since Articles 135 and 197 of the Swiss Criminal Code were tightened, on 1 April 2002, ownership of “objects or demonstrations […] which depict sexual acts with violent content” is punishable. This law amounts to a general criminalization of sado-masochists, since nearly every sado-masochist will have some kind of media which fulfill these criteria. Critics also object to the wording of the law, which puts sado-masochists in the same category as pedophiles and pederasts.[8][9]

Nordic countries

In September 2010, a Swedish court ruled that a 32-year-old man was acquitted of assault for engaging in consensual BDSM play with a 16-year-old woman (the age of consent in Sweden is 15).[10] Norway’s legal system has likewise taken a similar position,[11] that safe and consensual BDSM play should not be subject to criminal prosecution. This parallels the stance of the mental health professions in the Nordic countries, which have removed sadomasochism from their respective lists of psychiatric illnesses.

References

  1. Jump up ^ Decision of the Bundesgerichtshof, 26 May 2004, 2 StR 505/03, which may be found at: BGHSt 49, 166 (bundesgerichtshof.de)
  2. Jump up ^ Appeals Court of Hamm in its judgement of 1 February 2006, case number 10 UF 147/04, available online at the Portal of the North Rhine-Westfalian Ministry of Justice (German)
  3. Jump up ^ “Spanner Trust submission to the Home Office Review Board on Sexual Offences”. The Spanner Trust. Archived from the original on 14 December 2007. Retrieved 27 January 2008.
  4. Jump up ^ House of Commons: Criminal Justice And Immigration Bill
  5. Jump up ^ Barker, Meg; Iantaffi, A.; Gupta, C. (2007). “Kinky clients, kinky counselling? The challenges and potentials of BDSM”. Open Research Online. Routledge. Retrieved 12 January 2011.
  6. Jump up ^ Mike Blanchfield (27 May 2011). “Woman can’t consent to sex while unconscious, Supreme Court rules”. The Toronto Star. Retrieved 27 May 2011.
  7. Jump up ^ Ayzad, BDSM – Guida per esploratori dell’erotismo estremo, Castelvecchi, 2004 ISBN 88-7615-025-0
  8. Jump up ^ datenschlag.org(Oktober 2001) (German)
  9. Jump up ^ Interessengemeinschaft BDSM Schweiz (German)
  10. Jump up ^ Man freed in landmark S&M case
  11. Jump up ^ SM og loven (Norwegian

A ton of information have fun.

Image

Vile

Sexually Broken II

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, bleeding, blindfold, blow job, Bondage, Collar, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominants, extreme, Face Fucking, Fear, fucking, Gagged, Humiliation, masochist, Master, oral sex, Rape, Respect, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, sexual assault, Sexually Broken, skull fucking, slave, submissive, sucking cock on December 18, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I learned about the term Sexually Broken on Sirius 102 about a month ago.Sexually Broken is an adult video series, but I did find the topic very interesting.

There is a huge warehouse full of Bondage Equipment and women are tied up, strapped to different equipment and just used. The sex gets so rough the actresses are giving safe words to use in case things get out of hand. they are tied in every position you could possibly think of and fucked in every hole.

Now I suppose you could use the term in a BDSM or S&M setting. Where the submissive or Slave is just used hard, used in every hole..Sometime ago I had Arianna tied almost into a little ball. I pulled her ass to the edge of the bed, she was cuffed tied, blindfolded, and gagged, ahhh ear plugs as well. While sliding in and out of her pussy, I could not help but to just stare at her ass. She has an ass to die for. So I pulled out of her pussy and right into her tight ass I went, and pumped until I came. So in a sense you could use the term sexually broken.

Now on the other side if what your having done to you is not consensual and it is forced, you could use the term sexually broken., or maybe even rape.

This is what can happen if you meet someone for the first time and you decide you have to prove your submissive and you agree to go to a motel, only having spoken to this Dom a hand full of times. Because once you are tied down, on the bed spread eagle, guess what ? It is to late to change your mind. Hence the word sexually broken, used, raped, abused.

In a consensual setting I do not think the word applies because both are willing to take part. The fact is most slaves love to be used. The more their owner uses them the more they feel they have pleased.

phoenixasubbie used the word skull fucking, that is a word I really do not care for, although I guess there is no difference in the term face fucking. I am going to guess she is somewhat new to the lifestyle as she stated she is still trying to figure a lot of things out.

Many find the lifestyle intriguing , many fantasize about BDSM, being a submissive, or deeper an owned Slave. Until you can experience it and I am not talking seeing someone a couple of times a month, I mean until you have lived it you will never know.

The idea is to be able to give up most of your control, or as a slave all of your control. So being in a 24/7 setting would give you the idea of what it is really like.

Safe words are put into place to keep you safe, to let your partner know when a line has been crossed or you are unsure about what is going on. At that point you stop and you should talk about what just happened. What was it you did not like, what happened to confuse you, or why it hurt. Maybe there is another avenue that can be taking. If your safe word is not respected then it is time for you to leave, thank you but no thank you. No questions asked just I am outta here.

One of Arianna’s friends met a Dom on line, they talked for a couple of weeks, they text each other and she finely agreed to meet him. They had dinner, went to a motel to start her training. Tied her up legs spread and he fucked her with this huge dildo, when he was done the bed was covered in blood. He told her to wash, get out he would call her when he wanted to use her again.

The same thing could happen to you or worse, you might not wake up the next morning, because you really did not know anything abut this dude. You took his word he was an experienced Dom.

I myself do not use safe words , and I told Arianna this up front and I will explain. During a session, communication is very important, vocal and visual. You can see when your almost at their breaking point. You can tell by their body movements, their eyes if not blindfolded. To this day I have never hurt Arianna, the truth is I have never hurt anyone. I have left bruises, marks and sometimes small cuts, but everything I did was wanted and consensual.

If a Dom tells you he can train you to take pain, he is fucking nuts. Either you enjoy pain like a Masochist, or you do not. No one can train you to enjoy pain. If your in a long term relationship you will find the more you trust, the more you bond grows there are some lines you will be willing to cross just to please, but again you cannot be trained to take pain. As a matter of fact I would be willing to debate the issue with another Dominant.

The Dom will say we take our time, we move slowly, and each session we increase the pain until you grow accustomed to pain. I do not buy that one bit, and I would hope you would not.

Sex between two people is what you have agreed on, the do’s and the dont’s , what is off limits and what is fair game. Your off limits should be respected, if not and you allow it, it will only continue.

When I began my search and I have said this before I had a list , it was a list I thought about several days. Once it was completed , this is what I needed and I would not bend. If someone did not like it then move on, because if you settle for less and I am not speaking just sexually, you will never be happy.

I myself I get what I want , when I want as far as sex we really have no limits, with the exception of the normal stuff, no blood, no scat, nothing broken, no perm marks.

If you truly care about someone why would you want to harm them? Why would you want to cause a breakdown or stress? Many do not take the time out to think about safety, they are thinking of the now, they are thinking how bad they want to be in a relationship, to wear a collar, to be owned.

So how long do you go before you let your new Dom fuck you, that is up to you. Thinking with a clear head may make you wait just a little instead of having something to prove. You the submissive has nothing to prove. The Dominant has everything to prove. Him fucking your mouth or ass is not proving anything, and fucking your mouth is not part of training.

Just Think

Image This could happen to you, and not willingly

Vile

Training And Fear And Fucking

Posted in Adapt, Aftercare, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Face Fucking, Fear, fucking, gagging, Giving Head, Golden showers, Honesty, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Lie, Master, Mind Fuck, My Bitch, oral sex, piss, Protocol, punish, Punishment, Rough Sex, Rules, Scared, Security, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Task, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, use your submissive, whore on December 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The first ninety days is the most important when it comes to training. I myself thing that once you put a plan together it is very important to stick to it.

The fear comes from the submissive, the not knowing what is going to happen, more so not knowing what to expect. There may be a little fear within the submissive not knowing if they will please or be able to meet your standards.

Training day begins I do not share anything, I do not give any ideas about what I am going to do. Just like I explained to Arianna watch and listen. That is all you really have to do.

Remember the Submissive will adapt to their new surroundings, and most will without question as long as you the Dominant keeps your word.

If you are new to the lifestyle the first ninety days will tell you if you really want to be part of a D’s relationship, in some cases it may take less than a week.

The first ninety days I gave no punishment, we were actually almost six months into our relationship before I had to punish Arianna. As a punishment I do not believe in spanking, because most who are submissive enjoy being spanked, so what is the point in doing something they enjoy when you punish. Arianna on the other hand is not into pain at all, so I decided that my best approach was to spank and I set that ass on fire. .

During the first ninety days a lot of positive reinforcement is needed, the idea is not to break down, but to build up. We want to point out the good, but we also need to correct when something is not done correctly. A firm voice without yelling or humiliating . The fear factor comes into play.

Your plan you must stick to exactly what you have planned, if you try to change things up you as the Dominant can get distracted, and may cause a little confusion.

The truth and always the truth, the first thing we tell a submissive is to always be truthful, never lie and always be upfront. If we cannot abide by the truth we cannot expect the submissive to. If we lie how can we expect the submissive to always be truthful. Once you gain their trust, that is the easy part, the hard part is keeping it. Once you break that trust you can almost never get it back.

I only started out with 4 rules as we progressed I added a few more. Handing someone a page full of rules, can really cause confusion, and again fear, the fear of forgetting. Some Dominants will hand out 25 maybe 50 rules and say you have to memorize each and everyone. Ask him if he knows them word for word, if not why or how could he expect you to. Rules are meant to give structure, and guidance. Rules are meant to be a reference for daily life.. If you give out to many at one time, the submissive will become overwhelmed , and feel like they are being set up for failure. Also rules we take bad habits and turn them into good ones. If you do this in a short time the Dominant will see a great improvement in any areas that needed work.

I was talking to a Submissive on the phone a couple of weeks ago, her and her Daddy Dom had split. When she broke a rule he would not punish, so there were no consequences for her actions, he was more worried what was for dinner.

I have found from past experiences if you do not stand by what you say and do what you mean you can lose control, again once you start to lose that control it is impossible to regain again. You cannot sit there and say I will change because it is to late. I changed because I let my feelings get in the way when it came to punishing or enforcing rules. I had a huge guilty feeling come over me and I no longer wanted to punish. In the end I lost control. Keeping our word is very important.

Arianna has daily task that has to be completed just like this am a list was completed and I will go through it and either keep it the way it is or I will veto if I feel she has put to much on herself. She has had a rough couple of days emotionally so I stepped in and helped out a little, yea I did dishes, cooked breakfast. Eggs bacon and sausage. I made her watch as I put three eggs into the frying pan and I flipped her without breaking a yoke. I broke one of mine so one out of six is not bad. Dinner I made a taco salad. We should step in at times and take some of the weight off of their shoulders. I like to show my appreciation.

From time to time I believe a little fear is needed, just like a little humiliation is needed. Sometimes the submissive starts to lose that feeling of submission, so we want to put them back in that mode..

Not long ago we were in our Den watching TV , Arianna was nude, I was on the couch she was on the floor, just looking at her drove me crazy. So I told her to spread, and she has these huge lips that look like butterfly lips that just makes me go bonkers. I stood up undressed crawled on top and just started fucking her as hard as I could. I wrapped my hand around her throat, and told her she was my whore, she was my cunt, but I had changed my voice up a little deeper , slower and I could see this look in her eyes. I told her to fuck me back and push, when she pushes I can feel her pussy grip my cock, and then her rocking her hips just WOW.

So I got up pulled her up by her hair and shoved my cock in her mouth  and started face fucking her, one hand one her chin and the other on the top of her head, pushing my cock in as as far as it would go.. Calling her my bitch, my whore, telling her that I owned her. After a few minutes I grabbed her by her hair again and pulled her into the kitchen bending her over the trash can and back in her pussy, I fucked her for a few minutes then I slipped it out and right into her ass. One hand around her throat the other with a handful of hair I banged her as hard as I could until I dumped my load. I then grabbed her hair taking her to the bathroom put her on her knees and I pissed all over her Tits, then came the cold shower. To me golden showers shows that I own, ownership.

She was scared, she did not know how to take my actions. After it was all said and done came the aftercare which was truly needed. I believe aftercare is needed but at times I am not at my best. So I am trying tp improve in that area.

The change in my voice, the way I was fucking, really confused her, not knowing how to act or respond but she went along with what I wanted to do and how I used her. It is good to have sex, sex makes life good. On the other hand it is okay to just use your submissive. Sometimes I will tell Arianna to go to the bedroom and strip putting her on the bed pulling her to the edge, fuck her and tell her to get dressed. Using puts them in that submissive state of mind.

The mind fuck, last week we went out for Mexican we were both stuffed Arianna was in the bathroom washing up and I told her to hurry, I said I have the brown bath towel on the bed I was ready. Her first thoughts were oh god he is going to face fuck me and I am going to puke. She procrastinated  for a good ten minutes once she walked in the bedroom and she saw no towel the look in her eyes were priceless. The mind fuck can be a very powerful, you can mind fuck even when joking, keeps them thinking.

You can tell when your cared for as well, the hug the kiss the way someone listens when your talking, you can just tell. I was getting head and Arianna asked if I wanted to finish in her ass, I love those words Fuck my ass. I had other plans though, I told her to lay on her side her mouth on my cock and I started fucking just like I was pounding her pussy, her arms were moving in the air her legs were kicking, I stopped from time to time to allow her to breath then right back at it, until I blew my load. It is okay to use your property. There is a very pleasing feeling that comes across your submissive when they know they have pleased.

Never share what your training plan is about. slowly implement things on a daily basis, give small hands on test. Such as Once I thought Arianna was ready I invited a Dom and Slave to our home and she was in full service, I am not talking sexually. When they both set down she was standing legs shoulder width apart arms behind back waiting for instructions for drinks and dinner. When training you train to fit your needs and wants. The submissive you train to fit their needs, their wants come later. If you say no then mean no, if you say yes then mean yes.

A little fear can be good with the proper aftercare the same with a little humiliation.

Image It is okay to use her.

Vile

My Slave, This is Arianna’s Story Her Search For A Master.

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Argue, Arianna, BDSM Dating Sites, Change, control, controlling, Dating, Dating Add, Deception, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, Email, Fake Dominants, Fear, In Search Of A Master, Masters, Mini Skirts, older Dominants, Respect, Rules, skirt no panties, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave on November 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This email was just sent by my Slave and wife, she is at work today and I am just about ready to leave for work. She does read my blog daily and at times she does comment. Arianna for the most is private and I respect that.

This is the story of her search and I am guessing you are going to know and understand where she is coming from. The road can be long and scary. The key is to think before you act.

Dear Master. 
This is my response but I totally understand if it's too personal to use. 

The search
So, I stumbled into the lifestyle out of curiosity and need. A need to fill an 
emptiness. A void. A knowing that there was a deeper connection that could be 
had between two people. From what I knew of the bdsm lifestyle, which was very 
little at the time, i understood it as a viable possibility that this is where I 
needed to be. So the search began. I put myself out there. I went to a bdsm 
personals website and created a profile along with a real pic and info that 
included I was new to the lifestyle. 

The very next day my in box was breeming with inquiries. I sifted through the 
hey babys and picked three that I thought might be real doms. The term "real 
doms" for me was really vague. I was looking for older gentleman who claimed 
they knew what they were talking about and were already starting to give advice. 
There was a consensus between two of them that I should immediately take down my 
profile off the personal site because my profile screamed newbie which could 
land me in a predators hands. This gave me a sense that these people really were 
looking at for my best interest. 

Next, I started emailing back and forth between the three. I also started phone 
calls with them. One wanted to know something that I never shared with anyone 
before. This was a hard task because I'm an open book. Between the three I 
blurted out my entire life story. I babbled and babbled hoping that one would 
accept me for me. 

It came time within a week to meet the local guy who responded. I met him at a 
local eatery but he did request that I wear a skirt or a dress with no panties. 
So I did. The conversation was all about me and I was loving the attention but 
in the back of my mind I couldn't help thinking that there has got to be a 
better connection to submit, right? I told the guy about the other two doms I 
was talking to. I was very truthful with how I was feeling. I just didn't feel a 
connection and told the guy that I wasn't choosing him. That was hard but the 
prospect of him taking me home and fucking me, kind of disgusted me. 
The guy responded to the rejection by saying that he was disappointed because he 
wanted to start my training as a slave that day which would have included me 
being naked at his house giving him a blow job to see what areas needed 
improvement. 

So. Now there were two. The two remaining doms were both out of state. One was 
30 years my senior and wanted to fly me up to his house to spend three weeks 
with him. That was to be the first meet. I decided that the age gap was just too 
much for me.  And  he seemed to smother me. I wasn't looking for cuddling and 
spooning with an older guy. I wanted a Dom to enforce rules and put into place 
structure. 

Then there was one. Although I had already told this last Dom that I wasn't 
interested he wouldnt take no for an answer and I wasnt confident enough to 
stand firm and had The belief that he knew best. So after a couple arguments and 
heavy discussions we decided to meet. He flew down to meet me at a fancy hotel. 
I met him in the Lobby. He was a smooth talker. Asking all sorts of questions 
about me. It was all about me. And he started buying me drinks. I got relaxed 
and then we moved up to his room. He said that I needed to ask him to submit. I 
decided that I didn't have much to lose and the conversation was going so well 
and I could always change my mind, right? The last question was internal and not 
verbalized. 
So I said, Master I would like to serve you. Will you accept me? 
Of course his answer was yes. I felt a twinge of excitement. A new beginning. 
Then in a moments notice everything changed. His demeanor got serious. His face 
had a scowl. He turned scary. Then I was like, oh shit. I said, your scaring me. 
He responded that now I was his. We proceeded to get into a heated argument 
where I threatened to leave. He threatened that security wouldn't let me because 
I had too much to drink. I screamed fuck you. Then he changed again and gave me 
a whoo is me story about how nobody loved him and he wanted to take care of me. 
Really laid the guilt trip on so I conceded my defeat and submitted to him 
again. Little did I know that over the course of the next six months we would 
have other heated arguments about me leaving and each time he turned the tables 
on me to where it was my lack of commitment and falling back on my word. This 
was my downfall every time. 

I finally was able to break free. After six months. It wasn't a match. Never had 
been but I was naiive in figuring out what my needs and wants were in the 
lifestyle. I thought that every Dom was real and experienced. I believed every 
word they said. Never in my mind did I think that there was a hidden agenda. I 
didn't classify them as a normal male. Doms were so far above the vanilla man 
because they are confident and take a " true" interest. Lol
This is not always the case. I admit. I was full of anticipation. Full of 
excitement. It was a total rush but over time it was a burden with my first Dom. 
I realized that he was controlling and not in control. He would lose his temper 
and blame me and my emotions for anything that went wrong. And I took it because 
I was his property even though I was not flourishing. Even though I knew in my 
heart that this wasn't going to work. I settled. I got hurt. And it took me a 
while to heal. 

. 

I'm awesome now. I have gained a better understanding of myself. And I have 
found my "one". 

All in all my experience is like thousands of others just entering the 
lifestyle. We have stars in our eyes and fluttering hearts that maybe we will 
have our very own Dom or Master. 

I just wanted to let other subs and slaves and newbies know that it's pretty 
normal to trust. I think it's in our nature. But that could be a double edged 
sword. Trust should be gained and not given when meeting someone. I know my 
experience may ring true with others. I hope it opens your eyes that it's easy 
to be swept away when your guard is down. 

My openness was taken advantage of and used against me in my search. Also my 
attitude of doms not being able to do wrong. That they always have the best of 
intentions. That they would never harm. But what I failed to realize until later 
is that the lifestyle is like the vanilla world in that there are good and bad 
apples. It's up to our internal discernment to tell us the difference but we 
have to give ourselves the chance. 

Be careful and good luck. 
Arianna

Vile

Sub space Does Not Have To Equal Pain

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, Dominants, Ego, emotional, Emotions, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Hot Wax, Ice, inhibitions, masochist, Master, music, Pain, sadist, Safe, Sensory Deprivation, session, slave, sub-space, Submission, submissive on October 2, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sherri was a true Masochist in almost seven year that bitch did not cry one time, with the exception of us parting. I had never seen anything like it. A belt, a single tail whip, or with a flogger with each strike her eyes would just glaze over. I remember our first session, I did not have a clue to what was going to happen or what I was going to do. She knew I was fairly new to the lifestyle so I let her instruct me. When I left her house some five hours later, I was scared to death, that bitch was black and blue from the neck down. I had even broken skin open in some places and she would just run her fingers across the cuts, and just moan. At times she could not even speak, her eyes just staring off into space with each contact the whip would make.

In the beginning it was fun well with the exception of the first session. I would have a bad week and I could take all of my frustration out on her, and she enjoyed it. A couple of years passed and my side of the enjoyment was coming to an end, along with the pain and the much needed humiliation it was now a task, a task that had to be out done from the last. It was taking it’s toll on me.

I was not in love I had not been nor would I of ever been, in the seven years being together I never fucked her one time, she sucked a lot of dick, but I never banged her. To this day I am not sure why, I just did not have that connection or the want. Maybe I did not want to develop any feelings. The only thing I truly liked and enjoyed the word NO never came out of her mouth. The words I can’t never came out of her mouth. Today that is not so important to me, I suppose back then I had somewhat of an ego.

Subspace you must be able to get into the mind of the submissive, the same if you want a relationship with a submissive or slave the Dominant must be able to get into their mind. To be able to figure them out, know what they are thinking, you must know your partner inside out.

Subspace is not obtainable every time you play it may not happen every twenty times you play. Some say they are able to achieve subspace every session but I find that hard to believe, I am not saying it is not possible, I would think it would be hard. Subspace also depends on the submission you are playing with, if you fully have control, if the submissive has giving herself to you mind and body.

You can actually achieve subspace without even touching the submissive, the idea is during play to confuse the mind, a type of sensory deprivation , I have blogged about this before with just blindfolding, music ,incense and being bound.  I have been wanting to try this on Arianna but our work schedules are pretty full. As a matter of fact although we do play it is not near as often as I would like.

You tie your submissive up, blindfold her, you have two or three CD player , playing different music at a low volume, you lite two or three different incense, then comes the hot wax, and the ice cubes. The mind cannot possibly process everything that is going on. You have the submission, she is tied spread. She is blindfolded. At this point the submissive feels vulnerable, now adding everything else, not speaking just mostly watching, this is where it all begins.

It may not work the first session but it will. I am also not sure how it would work in a vanilla relationship I have never tried it. When one hits subspace you are confusing the mind, most of the time with pain, but pain does not have to play a part in order for them to hit subspace.  Some enjoy pain some get off on pain even the thought of it, then some do not. If they are not into pain or they cannot take it, you will do more damage than good. I have heard Doms say I can train you to take pain, that is a load of crap.

I have a huge surprise for Arianna this weekend.

Try it you might like it.

 

Vile

Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.

Image

Vile

Sub-Space

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bondage, butt plug, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Dominants, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Gagged, Hot Wax, session, slave, Spanking, sub-space, Submission, submissive on September 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The psychological state of the submissive partner in a BDSM scene is sometimes described as subspace or sub space.

The term is unrelated to the mathematical term subspace.

Subspace is a metaphor for the state the submissive’s minds and bodies are in during a deeply involving play scene. Many types of BDSM play invoke strong physical responses such as extended adrenaline surges that can cause exhaustion. The mental aspect of BDSM also causes many submissives to mentally separate themselves from their environment as they process the experience.

Deep subspace is often characterized as a state of deep recession and incoherence.

Many submissives require aftercare.

Have you ever been high, I am not talking about getting drunk. The word high , the numbing feeling, you were there but you were not there.

Sub-space is reached at times during heavy play, long sessions, and intense. Submissives or slaves are able to reach sub-space at times if they are with a partner they trust. Even with trust though sub-space is not obtainable every time.

Play most of the time is a pure mind-fuck. The not knowing, the guessing. Lets face it, if your going to play you are not going to go over every detail before play, what fun would that be?

The play the mind fuck, keeping them guessing, the not knowing. This type of play is fun and can be very intense. While during play the Dominant should stay in vocal contact at all times to insure you are not blowing by any limits, although you are keeping them guessing safety should be your first concern.

So you have your pet tied to the bed, spread eagle, cuffed, blindfolded, gagged, they have no idea what you are about to do, you have taking away one of their main senses their sight. They have lost the ability to move or speak, their mind is racing.

They feel your hand lightly touching them, your touching where ever you want, their mind begins to wonder their heart begins to race, it is the not knowing.

They feel the hot was being dripped onto their breast, their stomach, not knowing where the next drop will hit, their adrenaline begins to rush through their body, their endorphins are being released, they are starting to feel numb inside and out, they cannot control their thoughts or their fears. Fear is a natural feeling, fear is the unknowing. As you insert a vibrator and turn it on, maybe a butt plug at the same time, their mind is trying to register everything that is happening and it cannot.

One step further now the ear plugs, you have now taking away the ability to see and hear, they are gagged so they cannot speak.

When sub-space is reached it is a natural high, even if they were able to move, they would not be able to. They now feel every light touch be it just your fingers a feather, or a flogger. The wax you are dripping is felt one thousand times more.

I remember at one time Arianna went into sub-space, but she became giggly, her words were making no sense just off the wall stuff. She could not finish a sentence, or concentrate on any thoughts, she was just there.

Once sub-space has been reached the pain factor goes up as well, this is why it is very important to stay in verbal contact while playing.Before if the submissive was not able to take any pain, once reached the pain table has gone way up.

Still while in sub-space you could even untie and they would still not be able to move, in their mind and thoughts they are moving but there is no control, the limbs feel very heavy.

During sub-space if you should choose to have sex and the submissive reaches an orgasm it will truly blow their mind, all this adrenaline, and endorphins has to go someplace.

Yes sub-space can be very intense and fun. The main thing to remember is as the Dominant do not be disappointed is sub-space is not reached every time during play, it is not going to happen. Just play and have fun, if it happens run with it, I guarantee it will bring both of you closer and closer. Trust is very important, once you have that trust you have the world in your hands.

 

Vile