Archive for the fetlife Category

My Spirituality And BDSM

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Relationships, consequences, Consistency, Dominant, Dominant and Submissive, fetlife, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Religion, Slave, Submission, Submissive, viledesires62@aol.com on April 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

While I may be very outspoken , loud at times , I do have a habit of speaking my mind, in private or public. I am far from politically correct and if I think your bull shitting me I will be the first to call you out.

One obsession I have is speaking with elders , I love their stories of life from the beginning to the present, very wise and most information can be put to very good use. Each story is different , their life is different, some have had a very easy life while others struggled growing up. Some had a good home while other faced abuse on a daily basis.

While in Korea an Elder I met named Kim I would sit for hours and just listen while he spoke in broken English. The stories were very intense. The came the subject of Buddhism which i found very interesting.

Being in the army I could fly most anywhere in the world for about 10.00 dollars and my next stop was Thailand, this was mid 1980 I had just turned 18 and my first taste of the lifestyle.

Although Buddhism is a religion I never looked at it that way , the way I understood it it was a way of life. While at times when I first meet someone I am quick to judge , I try to set aside those feelings and give them a chance but most of the time my gut feeling was right.

I seldom give second chances but there are exceptions at times I am not sure why such as a friend I use to have Daddy M not one but two chances and he proved to be a pig.

I will help others if I see they are doing something to help themselves , if not I decline or I do not even bring it up.

most expect others to just jump in and fix what they have fucked up, remember 90% of our problems are self inflicting , this happens by using bad judgement , and not thinking about the choices and consequences. Trying to cheat the system , trying to get over on someone , be it a friend or even at times family.  I believe today family will fuck you faster and more often than someone you call a friend.

I have said this before I am not against religion I am against organized religion. Organized religion is evil, it is money driven, the poor feed the rich.

Live as you would want to be treated by others and give the same respect.

Today i am not a full practicing Buddhist but I walk with much of the beliefs, I do find time from time to time to meditate. I live a good life and I treat others with respect and I expect the same in return. The only down fall is some take my kindness as a weakness and those who walk into me blind are in a pasture they have never walked.

I can care and have great love for you but that switch can be turned off in a split second and never turned back on, this includes family.

I have nor do I allow drama into our life, I stop it before it becomes poison . The same way I handle problems , I handle before they become a problem.

To have a  successful and growing relationship both have to be honest and upfront , both have to be truthful and able to communicate their needs.

Compatibility is the most important thing when trying to build a relationship. It is okay to give and take on somethings , but if you give on needs it will never work..

The almighty married Dominant who is cheating on his wife. This is no Dom in any way shape or form. His wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, and not into pain. This is a kink to them and nothing more. They prey on those who are submissive because they believe you are weak and simple minded. They believe you just want to be used and punished.

Your a piece of ass, only able to experience submission when the Dominant can get away from his wife. He comes to your place or you get a room. You suck dick , get your ass beat and your dropped off. Ill text you later..

I get emails all the time and comments as well one just the other day about seeing a married Dom that turned into a disaster , she was able to see she was just being used.

A close friend of mine was seeing a married Dom, why ? I do not have a clue. He could only go out when he had something to do, other than that he was stuck home with wifey.

So he moved and the relationship ended or so she thought, when he sent her a text she politely turned him down and all of a sudden he had found someone younger and told her to go fuck herself.

A few months later another text. Want to Fuck ? She did not reply and the text continued, so I decided to send him an email on fetlife. He would not answer me , but continued to text her and tell her how weak she was followed by the names again. I sent him a total of 8 emails , shrugs. I even invited him to a local function , but that went unanswered …..

I would think as a submissive or slave while in a relationship you would want the whole pie and not just a slice. I would think you would want to be treated with respect. I would think you would want to be cared for. I would think you would want to be more than a piece of ass. I would think you would want to experience the training process, the experience of earning your collar.  Maybe I am wrong ?

My way is not the only way , but i do have a proven formula that I have put together and used and in my relationship it works, and it works well. I trained to fit my needs , I trained to help arianna , I trained so that she could achieve goals, and Ive supported her. Being supportive plays a huge role , just as communication.

As always i got off track a little, but if you follow you know this already. I love sharing my life , I love sharing my growth when it comes to the lifestyle…

Much love

Vile

 

It’s Not About The Pussy

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Bestslavetraining.com, Building a BDSM Relationshp, choices and consequences, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant, Domme, FaceBook Vile Woods, fetlife, Fetlife Groups, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, Master and slave relationship, On your knees on your back, owning a slave, primal, Slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, sucking cock, Training Arianna, Uncategorized on November 28, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

In my home I am the President , Governor , Mayor , Judge and Jury. I am about the control. In my relationship I do not want a quarter of the pie, I don’t want half or even three quarters, I want the pie and the ice cream , because if you are getting less that the whole pie you are not getting the full experience.

I want to stand alone , I want to be different, I wanted to be someone my slave had never experienced.

Sitting back and looking at the progress, changing someone for the better, changing someones thought process, changing habits, training. Training someone to fit your needs. Training one to drop to their knees on command, or to spread on command, with either a voice command or a simple hand gesture.  It is about the control, the ability to control ones actions and thoughts, now that is deep.

Now here is the thing, all of the above comes with a huge price tag, the above comes with huge responsibility , and then you have the saying be careful what you ask for, because once you start to unlock all of those door as you open each door the price tag becomes larger.

You get the clingy part, you get the needy , and in most cases you get the bad word codependent part , not always but this is true in most cases.

Submission not only runs on different levels, but it runs deep, and each one is different , each has different needs , but in the end the outcome is the same . You have a submissive who craves to be trained, loved and cared for.

So if your in it just for the pussy , or you want your dick sucked  just ask. If your not in it for the long haul why would you want to try and put all the steps above into place when you have zero intentions of following through? In the end that is way to much work and time to invest just to get some head.

Then you have the other Dominant , the fuck with your head, trying to get over on you, bull shitting his way through a relationship that is never going to happen. You end up sitting all alone waiting on a text or an email, crying wondering what you did wrong…

Then you have the poor me Dominant, the wish I was a better Dom. The Dominant who promises to fix what ever is wrong but really has no intentions of doing anything. The Dominant who cannot keep his temper under control. The Dominant who uses fear and humiliation to keep you in check…. The Dominant who tell you , you are stupid , your nothing without him…

There are two sides to every story, you have to pick the book you want to read. Ive said it many times , life is based on two actions and two actions only, those would be choices and consequences.

The above goes for male and female, Dominant, Master , Domme , Submissive Slave , Baby Girl , Primal , what ever you label yourself. I am not sure about everyone else but my time is very valuable.

I was going through some groups in fetlife , where subs were looking for Dominants, and most of what I read from other Doms was , Man I wish you were closer. In my eye Distance has nothing to do with anything, if your willing to invest the time needed to build a relationship, then distance is not even an issue…. There are however circumstances which would not allow one to relocate, that being a career one makes more money than he other , but if two want a relationship bad enough and you feel you have enough in common someone is going to make that move…

If your training consist of sucking cock or being on your back, getting punished all the time just for the fuck of it, then I would sit back and rethink things out.

I always give new Dominant who are interested in the lifestyle a place to go for good information .. There is a ton of good information here more than you can get from any book on the market..

http://bestslavetraining.com/

Vile

 

 

 

 

Finding A Dominant Or Master On Fetlife

Posted in Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, Bdsm events, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, cock sucking, compatibility, consequences, Dominant, exposing bad dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Fetish, fetishes, fetlife, Fetlife Fetishes, Fetlife Groups, Manipulation, Master, Master and slave relationship, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, munchs, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Self Proclaimed Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are some days I just sit and shake my head. I limit my friends on Fetlife mainly because I do not want my friends feed full of junk and drama.
As a matter of fact I am going to clean house later today on my friends list.

Fetlife is really an awesome social site , you have millions of people , many who share the same fetishes with you, the same kinks and maybe the same interest when it comes to submission. There is a group for any kind of fetish you can think of.

What is really awesome is you have the ability to fins a partner if you want to invest enough time. If you truly know what you want and need there is a partner for you, be it a male, or female , Dominant , submissive , baby girl, daddy dom, pony play everything is right there at your finger tips.

Fetlife is worldwide , now please let it be known I am not pimping fetlife but I have been a member for a very long time , and it is one of the only social sites out there that is not covered with spam……

The search is relatively easy , you can search by country , state and in most cases even the city you live in.. If you find someone who strikes your interest shoot them a email because it is free….

So finding a Dominant a submissive a slave can be time consuming but it can be done with enough research and Patience….

So from time to time I like to perv profiles, it is funny because on Facebook you want to see where people are from and who their friends are, on Fetlife you want to see what your friends look like naked..

So you come across a Doms profile or a Masters profile , you perv his pics and most are cock pics , well this is the way he thinks, that is where his brain is located. Second you read his profile many times it is blank but then you look at the list of groups he belongs to..

Here is a Dominant I ran across this morning and his profile is blank.. However he does have a huge list of groups he belongs to.

…but i like it rough
1950’s Household Relationships
69 by 420: Marijuana Kinky
Accidental Nudity
Adult Movie Theaters
Any RolePlay, Any Time!
Anything Taboo
BBW AND MEN WHO ADORE THEM………………..
BBW Women of Cental Florida
Being groped or fingered in public
Big Brothers/Big Sisters of littles
Braless in public
Breed My Fertile Cunt
Brevard Kinksters
Candle Wax
Cheating wives and girlfriends
Confession
Consensual Nonconsent
Cum In Panties
Cumming in public
Curvy Women and the People Who Love Them
CYBER SEX IN WEBCAM
Daddy Doms and babygirls
Daddy ~ girl Relationships
Daddy/Daughter Love
DADDY/teen girls
Devilishly Single
Dirty Old Men & Young Sluts
Dirty, Filthy, Naughty, Perverted & Taboo
Dominants Who Loan Their submissives/slaves to Others For Sex.
Domme Daughters for sub daddys role play
EDGEPLAY
Erotic Word Games
Erotica of All Kinds
Erotica, for writers and readers.
Exhibitionists/Nudists.
Fantasies & Role Play: Bound, Gagged and Raped
Fantasy Rape Stories
Female Squirters/Gushers
FetLife Announcements
Fetlife Classifieds
FLICK- (Floridians Living in Consensual Kink), Central Florida
Florida bbw & the men that love them!
Florida Singles
Florida Squirters
Florida Threesomes
Forced Exhibitionism
Forced Orgasms
Forcing girl to go in public with remote control vibrator deep in her pussy…
Fuck Friends
Fuck or Pass (without any drama)
Fuck or pass.
Fucked While Sleeping
Guys who like to masturbate to women’s fetlife photos & Women who like guys masturbating to their fetlife photos
Hand over Mouth/Drugged Kidnap Play
Having sex with pregnant women
I ❤ Squirting!
Incest Role Play
Interracial Love
Kink-Friendly Housing / Apartments / Roommates etc.
Kinky Parents
Masters & slaves
Masters and slaves
May/December Kinky
Munch of Central Brevard
Naked Family
naughty / sexual ageplay
nudism
Orgasm Denial
Orlando – BBW and people who love them!
Orlando area sex party hub
Orlando Daddy Masters and babygirls
Orlando Golden showers and Water Sports
Orlando Kinksters
Orlando Kinky Swingers
Orlando Personals
Orlando Play Partners
Orlando Poly
Orlando!! Meat Market
people that like pee play
People who are awake at 3:00 a.m.
Picnic
Play Rape
Playing Overtly or Covertly in Public
PREGNANT AND PLAYING
Rape play
Rape Roleplay
Really Taboo
Rough Sex
SEX WITH STRANGERS
Skinny Dipping
Skype Webcam chat
Sluts, Cunts, and Whores
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE
Sons Of Anarchy Fan Club
Squirty Girls
submission by cam
Talking Dirty
Tattoos!
Teasing To The Brink Of Orgasm
The Oral Sex Classifieds.
The Woodshed Orlando
Tittie lovers
Unpartnered Little Girls
Upskirt peeking
Webcam Encounters
Winter Park, FL Kinksters
Young BBW (18-30) and admirers!
Young Breeders
Young Individuals Looking for Older Partners and Vice Versa

While pretty interesting he has no ties to the community at all, this should be a huge red flag. Blank profile. You want someone who is active in the local community , but mot of all you want someone who knows what they are doing. There is a reason this Dom is not part of the community because I am going to guess he is not welcome or he is just a predator.

This profile is actually on a friend of mine friends list and he was mentoring her…. She is pretty new to the lifestyle and is at a point where she is not listening, shrugs ….

Look at the groups , check out the fetish list see if your compatible , if your not into bestiality or watching your Master being fucked up the ass then he is probably not the dom for you.

Now it is true just because he is active in the community does not make him a good dominant, some are active but most times you will be warned…

It is not science it is common sense..

bill

I fucking Love Bill he is the Man, well next to me

Vile

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Fetlife = Drama

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, communication, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, fetlife, Fetlife Groups, fucking and sucking, kinkster, Master And Slave, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on May 1, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Everybody is wrong , but at the same time everybody is right, everyone has the answer, everyone knows what is best for you or how fucked up you are and you need to just call it quits and stay home and be a hermit.

The only people who know your wrong are those telling you how stupid you are, they all have to be right , right ? Or maybe just maybe they are the ones who are fucked up and your the smart one for asking questions ?

One question was and believe me no question is stupid but one question. How do you maintain your Head space between being a submissive and living in the Vanilla world.
What the fuck these people just started Bashing this girl to no end , Arianna pointed it out to me and I could not believe the remarks I was reading. It is no wonder not only people but those who are new to the lifestyle are scared to even ask what fucking time it is..

Why do some like to swallow ? why do some loving sucking cock? while there are those who refuse. Why do some love anal sex and can cum while being fucked in the ass while there are those who refuse to give up the ass ?
Why do some get off on pain while there are others who want no part of it? Why are some just into kink but not the lifestyle ? Why are some Baby Girls who want Daddy Doms , while others are submissive but only in the bedroom ? Why do some want to be 24/7 while others just want a fuck buddy ? Why do some want to live as a slave and give up total control ?

The list goes on and on and on and on , it is never ending and it will continue to grow. You know I do not understand why someone would want to be a pony but I think it is cool as fuck.

The thing is no one is wrong , you cant do that ? Well who in the fuck are you to tell me what I can and cannot do ? Which bill are you paying this month.
The funny thing is these loud mouth no it all’s are the ones who are single.

What I do not understand I try and learn , instead of putting people down I try to understand which is not always easy. One thing no one can change is we are all different , we all come from different walks of life and we all have different needs.
Sometimes it take some a little time to find their fit , where they belong.

I myself cannot believe the amount of disrespect a lot of subs and slaves show on Fetlife , it makes me wonder if their Dominant , Daddy or Master knows the things that are being said.
The Baby Girl , the Submissive , the Slave is a direct reflection of your owner. The way you act in public , in a chat room , or on a post reflects directly on your owner. It is also a direct reflection of your training if any training at all.

Most of the Doms or Masters who tell others they are wrong or they do not know what they are doing are in fact single. The Internet Kings trying to tell others how someone should be living.

We will never understand everyone , we will never understand others kinks and non kinks , but we can all try to understand and maybe learn from others.
I do try and keep an open mind , I enjoy reading how others live and what they have to share.

Social groups would be much more enjoyable and a lot less drama if people would jut try to understand.

gene

vile

Dominant Support Group

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Commit, commitment, communication, control, Dominant, Dominant Support Group, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, fetlife, MAST, Master, owning a slave, slave, Submission, submissive, Uncategorized, you have to train yourself with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was actually reading a post from a Fetlife group and it caught my attention. I felt a need to share because it has a lot of good information.
The group unlike others is active but could use a few more members.

https://fetlife.com/groups/20948

I emailed the moderator last night to make sure it would be okay to re-post the topic and it is.

I believe having such a group can be of great importance , lets face it we do not have all the answers , and sometimes just hearing something from someone else can give us the boost that is needed.

To date there are times I need advice but my circle of people I can trust is growing smaller by the day.
I also do not want anything shared on CNN or Fox News so you have to be careful with whom you share your information with.

Sometime ago while at a local munch a slave I was living with was talking to other females, and this Dom was listening and he called my slave to the side telling her what I was doing was wrong.

She came to me and explained what she had done and she also explained what the other Dom had told her.
So me being me I confronted him. I first told him it was very disrespectful to call my property to the side and consult with her , I also explained he had no idea how my HOUSE was ran. He had no idea about our relationship.
I went deeper and I told him to keep his cock sucker shut , and next time would not be very pleasant.
What made things bad he was single and had been single since Mary gave birth. So he was trying to make me out to be the bad guy and he was going to rescue her. Fucking WOW!!!!!!

Some Dominants and Masters tend to be ego driven, they tend to want to share there know it all knowledge. Every fucking body is wrong it is there way or noway, and most of these guys are single. They want what someone else has , because they cannot find their own for what ever reason.

So a Dominant support group , a Dominant round table , a very good idea.

It is not everyday I pimp someone but I do from time to time if I believe the cause is good, and this so far has turned out to be an okay group.

In our world today as Dominants and Masters there comes a time when we need to be able to turn to someone.
I am not sure about others but I do know there are times I need to speak with someone and the truth is I really have no one to talk to.

Many Dominants do not understand our relationship or how I am able to maintain it. There are many who believe I am to strict as well , and I have even heard I am unethical.

One of the problems are , although we are suppose to be open minded and non judgmental when it comes to the lifestyle this is so far from the truth.

Because everyone is right but at the same time everyone is wrong. You don’t know what your doing. You are clueless about the lifestyle.

This goes back to what I have been saying for over two years now.
We are all different , every Submissive or Slave has different needs, personality’s are different , the different levels of structure , or rules that are needed.
Then you have those who are just in it for the kink, these are the ones who are the quickest to past judgement on someone.

I have talked about how if your meeting a New Dominant it is very important to make sure he is active in the community. It is very important he should be able to show you who he is..

I am not speaking of those who are married and you have ventured into our world, the lifestyle , because I am not sure if you fully understand where I am coming from.

Dominants need that interaction with others in the lifestyle , it is almost like two Elks butting heads on a mountain side, we need that interaction.
I know I need my fix , it gives me someone I can talk to I have something in common with.
That is why I am not grilling out with the Jones , because we have nothing in common and nothing to talk about.

Even if your a new Dominant to the lifestyle there is a lot of valuable information.

If you want to take that walk , the path is not easy and you will have to be committed , and yes to make a D’s Or M’s relationship work it takes a great deal of time , effort and work.
You have to be willing to grow and grow wisely. You have to learn to communicate, and listen. We hear everything but taking it in is the key.

This is the post I wanted to share.

Accusations-how should we handle them.

by Xtac

Two quotes:
For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don’t believe, no proof is possible. – Stuart Chase

EVERY accusation of consent violation has a predator and a victim..every one. The real question is, who is the predator and who is the victim? ~ Xtac quote

So.. based on the thinking framed above, I break action into two categories.
What to do about accusations (X advice)
If you do not have personal involvement.

Because every accusation has a victim, you should not risk the chance that you are contributing to an attempted character assassination nor should you act like a vigilante and take it upon yourself to act as the hand of vengeance to prevent further victimization.
If you do have personal involvement.

Victims should press all legal options. If behavior is illegal, and you are aware of the risks, it should be prosecuted. The proof needs to be tested in a court of law. Of course not everyone agrees. Including me

If it happened at an event, you should notify the event leaders right away. Friends of victims should limit their behavior to support of the victim. If you are a witness, write down what you remember asap. Memory changes over time. Offer to share your information with law and event leaders. For example, if a bottom specifies absolutely no genitalia contact during negotiation, yet while in a heavy subspace head space, is violated but barely conscious of the consent violation, as a friend you might come forth to say, I witnessed behavior that was not consensual, while you were out. It depends on how egregious and obvious the violation and of course your friends feelings about it.

Event leaders have the unique and unenviable job handling these complaints. Like captains of a ship, they are judge, jury, and executioner. They have withing their right, and responsibility to assess the evidence and ban people. ALL key members of an organization should be part of this process. It sucks, but you do not have the skills of a seasoned investigator so go with your gut instincts, and let the chips fall as they may.

If events have reciprocity, where vetting in one group is recognized by the other, it is incumbent upon both groups to share information privately between the key decision makers in each group. Either that or dissolve the reciprocity. You can’t have it both ways. That information however should be privileged. Members can go pound sand if they don’t like it. Internal decisions don’t need to be explained. Event leaders get to do as they please, for any reason at all.
But what about consent violation in the first degree!

It is a long standing legal principle that the actions of one person, that leads to the death of another, are not all treated the same. The law recognizes degrees of violation. In keeping with this thinking, it makes sense that a general idea of what we think constitutes a first, second or third degree violation of consent is.

I absolutely disagree that all consent violations be subject to one broad stroke of the brush. Accidents, poor negotiation, intent, history, and damage to the victims physical and mental well being are all considerations for the degree of the offense.

Questions event organizers might ask themselves are:

Is there a chance this was an accident
Was there room for misunderstanding in the negotiations
Was this arranged to allow abuse
Does the accused have a history
Was there physical contact
What was the degree of offense, resulting from contact

Possible actions by event leaders, depending on the degree, include admonishment, suspension, banning, or a life time ban are possible actions.

So, what are your thoughts and examples? What do you think justifies a life time ban, or a simple admonishment?

I found this to be an awesome topic I hope you enjoy and there is more to come….

support

Vile

The Baby Girl Syndrome

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Rules, cheating, Cheating Dominant, commitment, communication, controlling, Depressed, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, FaceBook, fetlife, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, Keeping submissive Isolated, Submission, submissive with tags on July 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I know everyone believes I have it out for baby girls , the truth is I feel for many of you, and this is just by reading different blogs and those I have met in real life.

I myself was a Daddy Dom for seven years, but I was not married and I lived with my Baby Girl. She did not even put gas in her own car, that was my job.

I know of One Daddy Dom and Baby Girl who are in a true committed relationship, and that would be SouthernSir and Kayla Lords. They found each other and made that move. They both made a commitment.. I do believe I left out the Powerful Batman and Bat woman who is in the process of having triplets I think it is.

If you think about it , when most of you met your Daddy, he told you that you were a baby girl, he told you that you were a little, and he gave you reasons why. This is not the case with all, but for the most it is true.

Now why would one want to label you as a baby Girl, or a little ? Why would a Daddy Dom want to use those terms, and go into explaining why you are?

There is less responsibility , you have very few rules if any, you have no protocols, and your giving no structure. Many men would fine this to be the perfect way to go, because he has no responsibility.

So one the upside for him, he gets to see you once or twice a month, most of the time in a Motel room if your lucky you will spend the night with your Daddy, or you may just get a couple of hours, of just fucking, then he is on his way again.

You do get a few text a day, very seldom an email. You are not on any of his social sites, like FaceBook, Fetlife, Twitter, so no one knows about you except him, and your other Baby Girls you bitch to.

Here we go again , most Daddy Doms are married. He is seeing you because there is something you will do his wife will not. Maybe they have lost that communication, it can be a number of things, going through his Mid-Life Crisis..

Maybe the midlife crisis has drawn the new Daddy into kink , maybe he has a few buddies who told him about the lifestyle.

The truth is many men do not know how to communicate with their wife, or they feel ashamed to put their wife through such kink, or they may not even know how to approach the subject.

If your Daddy is Married , you are being used. He is not going to leave his wife and kids, he is not going to lose his home being middle aged. If you think he is going to start his life over, you have a lot of thinking to do.
If your friends are telling you the same thing your reading then you are not in the right place.

The Fake Daddy Dom will play on your feelings, he will tell you he understands, he will tall you he will make everything better, but in fact he does not. He will drag you along as long as you are willing, until you have figured out you have been had.

You are just for use nothing more, your a piece of ass, if he is even fucking you. More than likely you spend more time on your knees sucking cock.

Then he starts to Isolate you, making you drop your friends, your family,
He wants access to all of your accounts, your email, facebook, twitter, everything. Once your are completely Isolated he then can tell you anything and you only have his words to go by.

If you are not getting the full experience of what a Daddy, Baby Girl relationship is suppose to be about, you are missing out on so much.
You are young you have your whole life in front of you, why waste it?

Do you not think it is funny not one has stepped up to the plate to defend himself, not one. I find that odd.

The outcome just depends on how much of your life do you want to waste.

daddy girl

Vile