You do not have to change the way you are , or be someone else your not when entering a relationship. You have to be honest with yourself, then you have to be honest with others.
This is more for the new submissives and slaves who are entering the lifestyle. You truly have to be careful and you have to be thinking with a level head. Once your mind starts to go off in a hundred different directions you need to sit down and catch your breath and gather your thoughts, because you are thinking of shit that has never crossed your mind before.
First off Chat rooms pollute your mind, I am not saying all of them are bad but for the most this is where your wannabe Dominants lay in prey. Like a rattle snake just waiting to strike. Once you are bitten you have very little time to get to a doctor. If you do frequent chat rooms pick and choose wisely.
Second what I blog on here is just my opinion, I share who I am and what I am about. You either love me or you hate me. I do not want you to agree with everything I say, and I want to hear your objections, I want to hear the other side of the story. The same goes for other information you gather around the net, staying up late at night reading and taking in information. Nothing you read is written in stone.
What part of the lifestyle are you interested in? How far do you want your submission to go ? How much freedom are you willing to give up ? What do you want out of the relationship ? What type of Dominant are you looking for ? Are you really into the kink of everything ?
When meeting a Dominant you are just doing that, it is like your first date, as a matter of fact it is your first date. As Sir Marcus pointed out you do not have anything to prove. The only thing that both of you has to prove is that you are both compatible nothing more.
Your submission is not proved by sucking cock, or spreading your legs. Your submission is proved by being the person you are. Again as Sir Marcus pointed out proving your submission is not just following rules. You being a submissive you already have a good idea in your head how you want a relationship to work.
To give yourself as a whole, the want to kneel before your Dominant the peaceful feeling you get while at his feet, then you feel your submission.
That is the frame of mind you strive for, the rest of your submission just falls into place. Yes it is really that easy.
Okay even if you just moved in with a Dominant within the first 90 days the relationship you are looking for will just fall into place again it is that easy. There may be a few modifications your Dominant wants to add, house rules a few protocols, but you already know your submission. you know your limits, you know your needs.
That is where your training comes in, the modifications your Dominant imposes on you. You do so willingly though because it is a need, you have a growing desire to submit.
Okay we are going to begin your training right now I want to see how you suck cock, I need to see if there is any room for improvement , that is not proving anything.
If you change the person you are to make someone else happy. Then where does your happiness come into play ? What satisfaction are you going to get out of the relationship ?
If you meet a Dominant and the two of you get along okay and you feel you have something, but he is into pain and your not. You do not have to except what he is giving just to please that just simply means you are not compilable . Why put yourself through something you do not enjoy , it is not worth it.
Being a Dominant is not about barking orders, or making demands. A Dominant is meant to make you feel safe, wanted , cared for, he provides structure within the home. He is calm , and remains in control at all times. It does not mean there will not be disagreements but the two will talk things out. A Dominant provides an open line of communication, meaning you are able to share what ever your thinking, your feelings your emotions, your needs. More so he will listen to what you have to say. He will take an interest in things you want to do, places you want to go. You should be the center of your Dominants world you should always come first and want to come first.
Being tied to a bed getting your ass whipped does not prove your submission, being shared does not prove your submission. The Dominant has much more to prove than you do, he has to prove he is who he says he is. Your just going to take his word after a few chats and a couple of phone calls ? I would hope not.
Arianna has a friend who met a Dominant who she had been talking to for a while and agreed to meet him. Yes on the first meet a motel room. She was tied down spread eagle on the bed, blindfolded and gagged. He began to fuck her with a huge Dildo, very hard once he was finished, he took the gag out the blindfold off untied her , and when she looked down the bed was full of blood, he told her to get cleaned up and get the fuck out he would call her later. Yes the first meeting, but she proved her submission Right ?
Over Ninety five percent of my followers are women, I truly wonder why ? I will share my thoughts, While I am a Dominant, married to my Slave who happens to call me Master by her choice I never directed her to call me anything. She asked me what I would like to be called. My reply was what ever makes you feel comfortable. I made no demands.
I am very strict I run a strict home, I have rules and my rules are followed, I have protocols public and private that are followed. Yes I get my cock sucked when ever I want, I get pussy anytime I want I get anal anytime I want, fuck I cannot think of anything I do not get. I can tell you this. I have never raised my voice to my wife and slave, I have never left a bruise on her anyplace . Her needs are met, she knows she can come to me and talk about anything knowing I will not get upset. She knows that if something comes up I will handle it, she has no stress no drama, and most of all no regrets.
Yes I got it like that, but it was no easy task I had much to prove, before she gave her full submission. and I had to stay consistent I had to be who and what I am. I did not put up a false wall.
I am against abuse of any kind be it emotional , physical or mental. I am against someone being used and just tossed aside. That is why ninety five percent of my followers are women. Because I tell the truth.
I use to get a lot of hate mail I have not received any in some time. Men telling me how I fucked their relationship up. Really I did that ? Um no you did.
Last year I blogged and a Slave made a comment and her question was , What is a Munch? She had been with this Dominant for over a year and did not have a clue to what a Much was. Some of you being new may not know what a Munch is but you will now. A munch is a gathering of like minded people who have dinner together once a month and sometimes they have discussions after eating. There is no sex, sometimes they have demonstrations maybe rope or spanking.
If you are with a Dominant and he is keeping you cut off from the outside world, you need to pack your shit because things will go wrong. Keeping you from friends and even family. The abuse is about to begin, and it can turn ugly.
I made it a point when I first met Arianna to introduce her to people I knew and was friends with in the lifestyle. I never said much about me, but it was not long until she made the comment, you are very respected in the community . That is only because I am who I am and I did not change for anyone.
I live by the Truth.
Just be who you are.