Archive for the Friends Category

I own Everything

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, consequences, control, controlling, Dominants, Friends, Humiliation, I own every hole, Kink, kinky, Master, Master And Slave, Masters, Pain, Respect, slave, Submission, submissive on January 9, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A very good point was just brought up.  About the lifestyle, either you are or your not. If one is just playing the fantasy it will not work. Both have to be willing to make the needed changes.

Drama free…stress free…. yes, this is so true. This is the goal. The first few months or even the first year may be a bit of a roller coaster, but as you both mature in your roles, the drama subsides. If it doesn’t, then one or both people are acting the roles not living them. If the sub is acting out just to receive a “punishment” and the Dom doesn’t see through it, then it is just role play and bedroom fun. Thank you Vile.

I keep hearing from different people how we have a very unique relationship. I cannot see or understand what they are talking about. If you are Master and Slave then you are, or could others who observe us in public just be acting out. Maybe some Dominants do not wish to have such control or maybe they do not want all of the responsibility that comes along with such a relationship.

I was reading earlier and the phrase that caught my eye was I own every hole. That is really the truth, but I can say that every hole was not just giving to me I had to earn the right to say that. There was a major trust factor and Arianna still after a year is still adjusting. She still relives the past at times as I am sure most do. I do not the past is just that. I had good and bad, but I leave it where it is suppose to be and that just happens to be the past.

It is up to you the Submissive or Slave to insure you are with the right Dominant or Master. If it up to you to insure what is being offered is what you need. It is up to you to insure the rules are fair, and that you are able to follow without question. It goes the same for protocols. In the end you are the one who has to either say yes or No. If you should say No that is not for me, you owe no one an explanation. You do not owe anyone anything. Have a nice day I hope you find what your looking for.

To many will jump ship to be with someone, to many make irrational decisions when looking for a relationship and it does not take long to learn you have made a huge mistake. You being open and honest makes the world go round.

In our world there are thousands of levels, kinks, lifestyles. Some are in it just for the kinks, some are in it because they crave abuse. Some are controlling and they prey on those who are submissive. The bottom line everything is on your shoulders.

We are Arianna and I Master and Slave we do live it 24/7. I am not allowed down time while she is. I cannot just turn something off I am me. The Slave however does need downtime , they need to be able to clear their head, relax, go out shopping with family or friends, without being texted every ten minutes. The Slave needs time to breath interact with others.

As Dominants and Masters our only concern should be our property and nothing more. The submissive or slave should always come first without question.

I do not need to go out with the guys, although I I wanted to I would, I am not into bars, well maybe a Titty Bar from time to time, but if I wanted to go Arianna would go with me. I get all the people food I need at work and that is where is stays. Outside of work we have zero in common.

To those who are seeking a live in submissive , or slave. You need to think things out really clear, and you need to be able to walk the walk and talk the talk. Because once you take on the responsibility it is yours, and it would not be fair to jump ship in the middle of a mess you made yourself.

Many submissive’s or Slaves are afraid to speak up when they first meet someone. All you have to say is thank you for the dinner it was nice, lose my number. It is that simple you just walk away you owe nothing, your dept is paid because he was lucky enough to have dinner with you. He was lucky you graced him with your presence.

We Arianna and I are not unique we are who we are and who we choose to be. I have my ways and she chose to live my way, my rules my protocols, and share my same thoughts.

I have never called myself Master, that was something Arianna wanted to do, I never demanded she call me Master. None of my emails begin with master. My email for wordpress is viledesires62@aol.com my fetlife is vile as well . We have grown to need labels, we need that type of control or most do anyway.

I desire to be in control, I have the need to be in control. but with that control comes a great deal of responsibility and that is taking care of one.

I am no better than any other Dominant, we just all take things to different levels, we all have different needs, and we all expect different things out of our property.

Most I mean a great deal of those who are submissive will take most anything that is handed out, including pain, humiliation, never being called back or emailed. Most will except everything just because they have the need to please.

I can tell you this if your one to take advantage of such a gift and you do not return everything you have , you will get yours in the end, and you will have no one to blame except yourself.

We are all unique we are all different. If we were all the same it would be pretty boring.

To say I am different in front of 14 people kinda offends me. To call me out or my Slave kinda offends me. You call me out because I live my life different ? You call me out because you want the same thing, the same life, but your not man enough to grasp the idea of what it takes ? That offends me.

Maybe it should not offend me because I have something they do not and they want. Maybe they envy me and my way of life ? Maybe they think I take the lifestyle way to serious ? Maybe offend is the wrong word, maybe I am misinterpreting the whole thing.

I can tell you this every Dominant who has asked me. How do you do it ? Once I start to explain I can tell after about five minutes I have lost their short attention span.. Because after the first three minutes or so it is just much work or to much time to invest.

So with everything I give, and the little I take or expect in return. I can say without a doubt I do own everything. I own every hole.

This is in noway a bitch session, just something I have been thinking about for sometime.

I am not so different, my way of life is and what I expect from my relationship.

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Vile

An Email From A Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anal sex, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, blow job, Cherish, codependent, Collar, collaring ceremony, communication, Consensual, Consistency, control, Discipline, events, Friends, Friendship, Giving Head, Indebted, Manipulation, Marriage ceremony, MAST, Master, munchs, No Rights, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Total Power Exchange, Total Slavery, TPE, training your slave on November 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

At our last Munch Arianna met a new Slave, new to the lifestyle. She was there to meet Sir E who I have very much respect for.  Although I may not agree with everything he believes in, we are all different so I do try to keep an open mind.

As Dominants we all train different, we all want different things from out Slaves, different goals. How one Dominant trains his Slave is really none of my business, her rules, her task, what ever it is really nothing to me. If I see some type of abuse I may say something but other than that to each their own.

Sir E instructed his new Slave to contact Arianna , I suppose for advice, tips and friendship. She started sending Arianna emails asking questions since she is new to the lifestyle. This is her first Master and Slave relationship, this is also her first poly relationship, so yes there are a ton of questions.

I myself lived in a poly relationship , the second female was mainly my slaves pet we never had sex nor did I want to. If it had been the other way around and all three of us were really close I do not know if I could of giving both the attention that was needed. I think Sir E has 4 or 5 Slaves, but as far as I know only one lives with him.

In my world and my views Slaves are very needy, this is not true will all Slaves but I believe for the most they are. Some slaves can be independent when needed, while some do not want that independence. I prefer the later.

Being a Slave does not make one a Doormat either, being a Slave does not make one weak, being a Slave does not make one Dumb. Slaves are very strong willed.

So Arianna forwarded and email response and was seeking my approval before she sent it. As I was reading the email it really got me to thinking because I had heard all of this before, but maybe I did not listen as well as I should have. Some of it caught me off guard, but the entire email really impressed me.

Many of the people we meet in the lifestyle do not really understand how our relationship works. This sounds funny coming from Master’s and Slave’s

Just like at the Last MAST the first question I was asked is how do we argue? My answer was we do not argue we never have. When I make this statement and I have several times in a group. THERE HAS TO BE A BITCH IN THE HOUSE. As I am looking around I see the Jaws drop, mostly from Slaves and Submissive’s I live by those words, and I stick to them on a daily basis. Why would a Slave argue with their Master, more so why would a Master stand for it. If the two argue is it truly a M’s relationship?

I treat Arianna very well, as you will read from her email. I have the up most respect for Arianna as you will read. There is no abuse in our relationship as you will read. One thing I want to point out is you will see that we are a true Master and Slave, we live in a TPE Total Power Exchange relationship.

There has been a few emails from this other Slave but I am going to share one, and then Arianna’s response.

On Nov 16, 2013, at 10:48 AM, @aol.com> wrote:

OKAY!!!! you win. Just thought i got lost in that social calendar of yours……lol

my real name just for “us” not munchers ……:-0

 

is E some people call me LAINEY…….nowadays i seem to answer to alot of things……..lol

 

 

MASTER did not approve of slave name list so i am back to ground zero

 

i won’t be seeing him this week either    bummer all the way around.

 

 

So, what’s on your agenda for Thanksgiving i forgot  if you told me. do you cook? bake? Do you spoil your Sir? Does he spoil you?

 

Do you have vaniila family? DO they know? approve? Is it separate? mine would commit me…i couldn’t even explain.

 

 

i am a fabulous cook and baker . BUT since losing weight i don’t No temptation  for me. I seem to be a two note prson i want something in my mouth either or seems to do the trick.  so i’m not doing food anymore…….haha

 

 

No more discussion about the positions “Just keep practicing” i’m told. This is like the CIA need to know basis .

 

 

it’s the POLY part i guess cause you know how we women are …has to be difficult to keep evryone happy im sure its easy to keep everyone in line  but Happy ? that’s probably different. ???????? very  different. i like different  so this is all about trying new and living  for now and seeing everything i missed being a good little wifey……….

 

 

What does your day include ? Does your Master give you assignments? Do you ever meet him for sexy lunches?

 

Do you ever start things to surprise him? Does he have total power over that? What if you wanted to,  but he hadn’t initiated it?

 

What if he said  NO?  Would he make you beg? Could you seduce him into changing his mind?  Yes, i have been reading again? just curious……if too personal don’t answer. I am curious about some things that are involving slave Master things if i ask and you dont want to reply just say no comment E  go read. i won’t be offended i’m just trying to see if this is normal or weird? of course who can really judge what’s normal for one is weird for another but i guess i mean is it usual in the “life”.

 

but for the record i have no say in anything so far i just show up when told it’s 100% surrender of power. at this point i can have some passes on some things i’m scared of “still never done yet”-we discussed but once collared that goes away.

 

is that normal? slave/ MASTER stuff?

 

 

It looks like a day to be outside so i’m leaving now…..have a good one  take care beauty! from J, E, Rebekah,Jamsine,

 

Cassandra, ect ect ect……..OH the KING and i……….

 

 

As you can see there are a ton of questions. I suppose Master E instructed the Slave to write Arianna, because for one she is experienced , two Master E knows we are a true Master and Slave, three he knows Arianna will not cross any boundary’s. four Master E knows Arianna will be truthful.

 

Here is Arianna’s response.

 

 

My response is first. Her email is second.
This is unsent. Waiting for your approval. Master
Dear E,
Well E was one of my guesses so you have to give me credit there.
I’ll try and answer most of your questions. Forgive me if I miss a couple.
Thanksgiving- my mom, stepdad, adopted baby brother (he’s 11) and his friend are coming over to our house for dinner. My mom and stepdad know about my lifestyle although my mom doesn’t like hearing about it. She knows that our wedding and collaring ceremony was rolled into one and did not want to attend. That was fine because it would have made it awkward. Lol
Other than my parents, no one else in my family is aware although I wear my collar 24/7.
I do most of the cooking lately. Mainly because Master works more than me. He does spoil me though with surf and turf dinners and all the fixings sometimes. He enjoys cooking but just doesn’t have the time. Although he is the grill god. We grill at least once a week. My baking consists of boxed cakes and brownies. Hehe
My day…  Well when I get home from work, I must shower before Master gets home so I am all clean and ready for use if he so chooses. I have responsibilities of keeping the house, I do 95% of the shopping and cleaning and laundry. It’s not a big deal though. I think woman in general like to keep a clean house.
Each morning when Master and I have our coffee together I write a to do list which either gets approved, added to, or items vetoed. Master does not like me to get too tired and realizes that with me working full time that some things on the list may not get done. He will asterisk the important things.
Master wakes up with me at 3:40am on my work days. Everyday without fail. He will also talk to me in the phone during my hour commute. This is before he himself works a 9-11 hour day.
I am open to initiate serving him sexually. He likes when I ask to service him but sometimes the answer is no. He has total control over that. Most of the time it’s about him but if I ask I sometimes can play too.  I do not, seduce him. It’s really not an option because he is in control at all times. So if it happens then he so chooses whether I am putting on a show or not. He is the first man I met that doesnt think with his dick.  His no means no.
I also would be hard pressed to define what is “normal” in the lifestyle because there are so many variations.
I know that, for my Master and I, the collar means a commitment similar to a marriage. It a consensual agreement for me to be a servant to his wants and needs. I gave myself to him and trust that he will not push hard enough to break me. He does not want to harm his property but takes great care to make sure that I have my needs met. The wants, maybe. But my needs definitely are met.
That is the basis of our commitment to each other. I take care of his wants and needs and he gives me what he decides I need for ultimately he knows me best. He gives me structure and purpose. A guided hand to lead the way. Most of the information about our issues are on a need to know basis. He does not involve me in some things because he handles everything. I gave all my rights to him and I only have the rights that he allows me to have.
I ask for permission to use the restroom, and sit on furniture when we are together. When we are apart I can use the restroom at will but still not allowed on our furniture at the house except for the dining room table. Permission is needed to sit on soft things.  Lol
Permission is needed to enter and exit the bed. My Master controls my sleep, when I go to bed and if I get a nap. And When I shower.
Some of our rituals include me keeping journals of my activities. For example. When I leave the house I write down time and mileage in a book. He wants to know when I arrive some place and when I’m leaving. Permission is needed for any stop that I make if it’s not planned ahead of time.
I also keep a log of my activities when I am home alone. This includes times of things I do. For example, log how long it took to wash dishes, take a shower, when I put laundry in, clean the bird cage, vacuum, make the bed, etc.
I am considered micromanaged which isn’t for everyone. Most masters don’t want to be bothered with the details like that but it works for us.
There are things that I do without being asked. I greet Master at the door usually naked and in a kneeling/head to the floor. Arms stretched out position.
Sometimes when he leaves the room, I wait in a kneeling position for his return. I dry him off once he is out of the shower and kneel next to the tub when he’s in the shower. I help undress him after he gets home from work and lay out his clothes. I normally will pick his clothes out for him to wear out. He has full say over what I wear out although I get to give him options which he can overrule at any time.
He has say over the color of my nails and hair.
I wear a bracelet engraved WWVD- what would Vile do
This reminds me that my actions both public and private reflect my submission.
He has access to my phone which includes all texts, contacts, and emails. Basically he has full control.
Our communication though is like no other. He listens. Really listens and remembers every thought. He is inquisitive about how I’m feeling and what’s going on in my mind. I feel totally indebted to him and respect him galore.
Anyways…. I was kind of all over the place but hope that gave you an insight Into my slavehood. But this is only my own experience. Yours could be totally different.
Sincerely
Arianna.
When I read this I was just blown away. I am going to print it and save it, so when we are out at other functions and people ask, I will just say here read.
I do not think with my cock. I did that when I was a teen in my early 20’s maybe even very early 30’s ….. I run my house, I have the final say. This does not mean I never ask for advice or Arianna’s opinion because I do. Just like she stated most everything is on a need to know basis.
Arianna spoke the truth. I do get serviced anytime I wish but she does ask several times a day if she can service me. That is how you can tell if someone truly cares. Yes most of the time it is about me. I want to fuck bust a nut and go about what I was doing.  Her Body and mind belong to me. The same with her mouth pussy and ass, which I use when I wish, and I use how I want to. As you read I give a lot back, I just do not take. Arianna gives 150% while I give 200% that is on a daily basis.
Much Love to everyone who has stopped by. It is you the readers that keeps me going. I will have a website up pretty soon, so I can be more open, more so with the picture thing, but everything will be from my WordPress.
Image Our Slave does look up to us.
Vile

 

Where Do We Fit In ?

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, Bondage, control, controlling, Conversation, Dominants, Employer, Face Fucking, Fear, Fitting in, Friends, Friendship, hoe, Kink, kinky, Love, married, masochist, Master, oral, oral sex, pussy, Respect, Rough Sex, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Trust, Vanilla, Vanilla Friends on July 7, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We were texting today Arianna and I , and the subject came up of how stupid some people are. I made the comment about how at work all anyone talked about was how much beer they drank the night before and how much they plan on drinking once they get off. These are men who make six figures not your every day McDonalds worker not that there is anything wrong with working at McDonalds. It does not matter what you do as long as it is an honest days work.

Here is the thing, besides Arianna I really do not have anyone I would call a real friend, I mean someone I would hang out with on a daily basis. There are people I like, and I even invited a co-worker over for dinner sometime, but to call someone a friend to me that is deep and it calls for a lot of trust. Trust is a huge issue with me.

At work I try to fit in, I laugh and joke but for the most it is a big front, not that most of the guys are not likeable because most are. When I first started there I was giving the cold shoulder because they felt like I was cutting into their pay, which is not really the truth, we each make out own pay. So everyday it is talking about beer and hoes, hoes and beer. Pretty boring.

In the lifestyle I know a lot of people , there are those I would like to call friends, but then the trust thing comes into play. for the most I am a very private man. Although at work I have shared some of my kink but no one really understands and I do not want to spend a day trying to explain. People hear what they want to hear, people see what they want to see, and people believe what they want to believe.

So in my world where does Vile fit in? It is as if I do not belong anyplace. Sure I have my own space, my own freedom, but at some point you have to share your space, if that makes any sense.

At a young age I knew I was different. Even in my teens I was into spanking, tying girls up, I really got off on face fucking, humiliation, and yes even control. Even then I did not fit in, it was like I was a guest in someones world, I was just there, people all around me but I just could not find that spot, that spot where I belonged.

So is it so bad to be different? Should we be someone else we are not just to please others so that we do fit in? I do know living a life that your not can be a total disaster , and the consequences are not good. On the other hand if we are to be who we are where do we fit in?

You go to the wing house or hooters with the guys, well it is not my thing, because I have no desire to sit around a table telling old war stories drinking beer, and listening to men talk about hoes

Lets face it if you went to work and announced who and what you were you would not be accepted, you would be the black sheep of the office. People would think your weird or think your some sicko. So really we spend our life hiding in the closet. I have shared some but I have not gone into great detail. Do I care if I am accepted? Nah I am who I am and I am very happy. Do I care if Joe likes me? I could really care less.

We, us , them, submissive, slaves, sadist, masochist , kinky we do not fit in we are just here, or there for a short period of time. Most are ashamed of who and what they are, because of being afraid of being an out cast, we need acceptance, we need people to like and approve of use. Why ? Because we do not fit in the world the way people think we should.

Those who do want to fit in want everything handed to them without having to put forth any effort, for example. A co-worker who is single, I invited him to go to a place in Orlando called the wood shed. His remark was fuck that I am not driving sixty miles to meet a woman, I would rather go home and watch porn and jack off. I am glad that is working out for him.  Now if I just showed up at his place with a woman and said here she is yours to fuck for the night, he would gladly take her, unless he found out he had to feed her or something.

I can say without a doubt I am happy. I have a good life. I have an awesome wife and slave, and as of right now I would not change anything. If I need a fishing buddy I have Arianna, if I have the need to have a drinking buddy again I have Arianna. If I have the need to play rough, fuck or just get my cock sucked yup I have Arianna.

So the question is do I really need to fit in? I think being happy and content means much more than trying to fit in with the Jones, or the Smiths.

So I know every morning when I leave for work, I know just where I fit in. That is my main and only focus.

Much Fucking Love to Everyone

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Vile

Be True To Yourself

Posted in bdsm, cheating, communication, Drama, Friends, Kink, Lies, married, Master, sex, slave, submissive on June 7, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

So many of us live a double life, we hide who and what we are. Some are even ashamed of who they are. I know sometime ago I went to see a shrink. I wanted to know what made me tick, why I had the need to inflict pain. My first slave was a full blown Masochist, and I am truly thankful for her and everything she herself taught me. After seeing the shrink for about six months, I realized she was fucked up more than I thought I was.

Today I am not so much the sadist, I have no interest in inflicting pain, although at times I do get kinda rough, but as far as leaving marks, that is just not me. The need for pain then was a release for me, now that I look back and think about the seven years we spent together. Her excepting pain was a way for her to release, but her needs went way beyond my needs or wants. I look back and I wonder how I was able to follow through with some of out play. The play was really intense, but more so shocking.  If anyone has seen the movie Dee Snider played in Strange Land that will give you somewhat of an idea of what our relationship was about. It consisted of nothing but pain.

The seven years I was with sherri I never fucked her, I mean never. She did how ever suck a lot of cock. She loved being fisted, but when it came to the sex part, there was just something or a feeling I did not agree with.

Be yourself living a double life is no fun. I am not talking about just blabbing to the world who are what you are, but be comfortable with yourself and except who and what you are. I know while I was married it was very hard keeping my feelings in. I hated not being able to be me.

Things are worse if your married, I know this, even when you communicate your needs it can be hurtful. If you are in a marriage and your not happy, come clean. If your partner truly cares they will except who you are and work to make things better, if not move on.

Anyone who knows me, knows about my lifestyle, it is not something I speak about everyday but I hide nothing., my family knows well as much as they want to understand, Arianna’s parents know again what they want to understand. Most who know nothing about the lifestyle when BDSM comes to mind it is about abuse, even when you try and explain, people only hear a small portion.

The first thing I try to talk about is the communication, the bond, the closeness, the trust. The fact is many men are just so close minded they cannot see the light. They are the first ones to complain about their home life, how miserable they are.

I was talking to a co-worker the other day, and he was complaining his wife had not sucked his cock in over 10 years, so instead of talking to her, he has two or three women he see’s on the side.

Just be yourself, being anything less causes so much stress, and confusion. I know it eats at you from the inside out, and will continue until you fix it.

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Vile

Religion And BDSM

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, Buddhism, Christians, church, Conversation, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Domestic Discipline, Dominants, Friends, greed, Master, Masters, munchs, Religion, slave, submissive on February 7, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

So last Friday Arianna and I went to the Mast munch.  Masters And Slaves Together. The topic was how do you incorporate your religion with the lifestyle.

First of all I did not think this was a subject that should of come up at a munch. Two things should never come up, religion and politics. It is not to say that some in the lifestyle does not incorporate some of there religious beliefs into their lifestyle, but to share something so personal in front of a group of people should not of been allowed. I did voice my opinion prior to the munch, but the moderator would not change the topic.

So okay I was already in a sideways mood before arriving at the hostess home, then having to meet new people which I truly hate. To make things worse Arianna and I rode with the moderator. Do not get me wrong we are good friends, we just have huge differences on how a house should be ran.

My answer was Buddhism has helped me in many ways. One my temper although this past month it has been pushed. I think things out more clearly now, I am more in control, of not only myself but my surroundings.

I am not a religious man, I would tend to think I am more spiritual. I am by the book, I take no short cuts, which means no consequences, only choices.

I do not believe in organized religion, once organized it becomes evil, and corrupt. It becomes about money. Just turn your TV on Sunday morning. Religion is based on fear and fear alone. Hence if you are not saved you will burn in hell. Being human the one thing we fear is fear itself. Or the fear of loss.

When you look at the religious side of Domestic Discipline , most is based on abuse and nothing more. Many of these women in such a relationship are beaten down on a daily basis, more verbal than physical. This lifestyle is the only thing the women know. Most have been raised in a family based on DD, so the male follows in the fathers footsteps.

So if you are religious do you feel guilty? Why should you? Does your religion prevent you from being the person you need to be? If you answered yes to any of the above, it is based on fear.

Arianna and I will never attend another munch with such a topic. It has no place in my lifestyle or hers.

I have not been as active in my beliefs as I should be but that is going to change here real soon, and I know Arianna is excited about attending with me.

Now on the other hand, if Arianna felt she had the need to go to church, while I may not agree with her, I would support her and I would attend with her. Going would not change who I am. She is my number one concern , her needs are what matters.

So while at the munch, I stepped outside twice, I do smoke , okay so I have one bad habit, but that will soon be gone. Arianna does not say anything even though I know she does not approve. So while outside I am followed by a Dom I have never met before, and no sooner than I lite up he begins telling me his life story. I am just standing there looking at him, and I am thinking really.

I suppose one of my main faults are, I do not like people, I have a few I call friends, but for the most I stay to myself. People are different today. It is not about friendship it is about what they can get, or trouble they can stir up.

So this Dom I have never met, is asking for my email, my fetlife account, and my phone number, he wants us to start hanging out. I am thinking WOW.  So I finely say to him, look I am not sure why you feel you want to share your life story with me, but to tell you the truth, I could really care less.

A couple of times during the munch things started to get kinda heated up, to the point I thought an argument was going to break out. This is why a different topic should of been discussed.

Last, I do not believe a man or woman should have to go to a building to worship. Nor do I believe that you should have to go through a second party, when requesting one to pray for you, or maybe confess.

Just my thoughts.

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Vile

Dominants Live Separate Lives

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anger, bdsm, Bond, Busy, Cherish, communication, control, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fantasy, Friends, Love, Master, Micromanagement, Open Minded, owning a slave, relationships, Respect, sharing, slave, Spanking, submissive, Text on January 28, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

It is true Dominants for the most live separate lives. When in general conversation with lets say someone who is vanilla, and I try to explain my lifestyle, most are like do you know anyone, do you know a slave or single submissive?

Yea they think it is fun and games, until I explain everything, and owning a Slave, and they are like fuck that shit, way to much work for me.

Even like the dumb ass who is staying with me, I have been trying to teach him for months, how to control his temper. I have even said  would you not want a relationship that is stress free, no arguing, no fighting. He said no>

Now many of you are probably thinking , no arguing, really? When I say no arguing that is what I mean. We Dominants should be in full control at all times. There are times when my fuse runs short, at times I do get angry, but I rarely show it. I never show in front of my property. Here is why, if we show we are not in full control, then how can our sub or slave expect us to be in control of them?

We Dominants or for the most do live separate lives. We live our everyday life for those who do not want anyone to know about their lifestyle, but anyone who knows me knows about me. Then we have to be in control of our property, on a daily basis. Then we have to stay consistent daily with rules and guidelines. We have to maintain an open line of communication, we have to be available, at a text or call. We have to not only solve our problems, but at times we have to handle our property’s problems, and in a timely manner.

I do not find this to be true if you are not 24/7. I know a Master and Slave who live together but they are not 24/7, I am not sure how that works, but it works for them.

Tish / Arianna and I are 24/7 and I am here to tell you it is not an easy task, not that I am complaining, because for one, I enjoy who I am I truly love me. The lifestyle is me and has been for as long as I can remember. The lifestyle is something I need. It is not a want, if it was a want, well I would not be here right now.

Sometimes at the end of the night, after I put Tish / Arianna to bed, that is my time to relax. I am up at 3.30am with her and she goes to bed around 7.00pm. We are in contact through out the day. When she is off sometimes she is up a little later. So at times at the end of the day, I am not physically tired but mentally. I guess what ever brain I have left is pretty tired.

I am not complaining do not get me wrong, I do care a great deal for Tish / Arianna, and I would change nothing in my life right now. I am on a level playing field right now. Life is good, and it will continue to get better I know without a doubt.

I believe it is a lot different with a submissive as a matter of fact I know it is. A submissive submits when she wants to, most of the time it is not 24/7.A slave you have to keep a tight leash on so to speak. Tish / Arianna are more Micromanagement, which is really not as difficult as one would think as long as I stay on top of everything. If you fall behind it is like trying to catch your house payment up, it is almost impossible.

Many of my friends in the lifestyle do not agree with my point of view when it comes to D’s or M’s. Many find me to be um kinda of unorthodox when it comes to the lifestyle, but it works for me. I am not going to change who I am. Many do not understand why I do not share, or why I do not want another slave. I suppose in many ways I am possessive when it comes to my property. I am not one to lay back and watch some dude fuck my slave or watch her blow someone, although she would if I told her to, but she would only to please me.

There is a breaking point, and somethings can cause more damage to a sub or slave than it can good. Many will step outside of there bubbles just to please, but later it can bring on great emotional stress or even a breakdown. Us as Dominants are not here for that, we are here for support and to build up, a shoulder to cry on when needed, hold, love and cherish.

I did something the other day I was totally against. I had to punish Tish / Arianna. One thing I said I never would do is spank as a form of punishment, but that is what I felt I had to do for the situation. To make it worse she had to complete a task while she was being spanked, and I did not stop until her task was completed. I cannot remember when I really felt as bad as I did at that moment and time, but I believe I got the point across and it will not happen again.

We as Dominants do live separate lives, I just hope that you submissive’s and Slaves know just how much we have to put into a relationship.

Much Love to all of those who visit, and to those who follow, I really appreciate all of you.

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Vile

Why a Slave and not a Submissive

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, Bestslavetraining.com, Bond, Busy, chain, Change, codependent, Collars, Consensual, control, Conversation, Discipline, discussion group, Dominants, emotional, events, Friends, life, Master, Masters, molding your slave, munchs, needy, Open Minded, Protocol, relationships, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, slave, Task, Text, TPE, training your slave on January 8, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

 

Once I fully recovered from my break up with Bea, I began to search yet again for the one. The one who was suppose to fill that void. The one who was suppose to be my best friend and submissive.
It is funny to a submissive I am very strict, almost unbearable, no breathing room. To a slave I am not strict enough. A week ago I posted about my daily life. How many of those who are submissive could endure a daily life as such. To a slave at times I am not in control of enough, and at times I am not strict enough.
Being a Dominant over a slave is much more in depth than a Dominant over a submissive, the control is much different, and I do believe the bond runs much deeper.
The training, every time I bring up the word train it sounds out of place, but in fact that is what we as Dominants are doing. It even runs as deep as making some behavioral modifications. We control time, we control almost every movement, we control food, bath, sleep, and dress. We who are in a relationship with a slave, are in control nearly 24/7.
Yesterday I gave Tish some down time, to relax, her own space. I saw that it was much needed, even before yesterday. To do what ever she wanted, listen to music, her journal, or sleep which she has no problem with, Tish is like cat when it comes to sleep.
So the training process, every Slave is different, every slave has different needs. I had implemented many things. I had taking control of almost her daily life. Even to to point of cutting her spending down.  This was her needs, this is what she told me she needed, so I had to sit down and come up with a workable plan, so that she would still be able to function in everyday life. It is almost like upgrading windows in your computer. The one thing you have to make certain is, every step you take, you have to insure everything is about the slave, everything is about the betterment of the slave.  Just as the rules and guidelines should be.
It really kills me to see a submissive show me a copy of their rules, and yes I do get rules emailed to me. The rules state you must worship your master cock. You must worship your masters body. You will suck my cock on demand.
The truth is for those of you who are not spending 24/7 together , the submissive spends more time sucking cock than having actual sex, so at least you know where you stand in the relationship. Do not even say its not true, because I am guilty of having subs do the same thing back in the day. We go a couple of months without seeing you, then I wake and think man I need some good head.
Tish and I attended our first munch Friday night, another Dom had stopped by and picked us up. Tish was really nervous about going and being around other people. I was not nervous but the last time I had seen the Dom who was hosting the munch we were almost nose to nose in a heated argument. I must say things were much different, both of us were very welcomed, E and I got along very well. Tish did relax and was able to give her input into a couple of different topics that were covered.
On the way to the munch Tish was somewhat nervous, it was her first, and did not know what to expect. So I get a text from Tish who is sitting in the back seat, and Rob ask me if she just text me. I answered yea why. Robs reply was I was enabling her. Well while I did not answer her, this is an agreement Tish and I have about open communication, and she felt what she had to say was only for me, and I fully understood.
So the training process is off to a good start, I know I get off track at times. The fact is a Master/ Slave relationship is well and alive today. It is hard for some of the submissives to see that type of a relationship in a visual sense. Or even a submissive living such a life.
The Slave is the one who ask the Master if he will take her as his slave. The slave lays out the ground work of how she see’s an M’s relationship in her eyes. She tells the master what she needs out of the relationship. Then the Master either agrees he can or he cannot.

Tish is not difficult, we are at a Micromanagement type relationship. What rights does she have? Only the rights I allow.Now before anyone jumps to any conclusion all of this has been discussed in great detail. The relationship is about the slaves needs, not wants but needs. The idea situation is to slowly implement rules, or as I call guidelines. Doing so slowly but being consistent does not overwhelm the slave. A slow gradual process  so nothing is really noticed, or if it is noticed, it is not enough to bring on any stress.

So during the munch we were all talking about 24/7 TPE Total Power Exchange. E made the comment that if were really in a TPE I would have control over Tish’s bank account. My reply was as a matter of fact I do have complete control over her bank account, and she is held accountable for everything she spends. The conversation ended there. Although I do have control, I do not touch her money. Her money is just that. Again this is control she wanted to give up.

To me a TPE is an ideal relationship for me anyway. The thing that is almost impossible is to find a Dominant who is not going to take advantage of the slave, not only on an emotional level, but mental as well.

Being with a slave is not just fun and games like most think. I hear men all the time, make statements on how they would love to have a relationship like mine, but when I explain all the details, they just look at me.

I do not have a book or an manual to go by, I do not have a check list I go by, everything is stashed away upstairs. Now what I have to do is remember everything, and stay consistent in the relationship. Another important factor is our life is not surrounded by just BDSM , we are best friends, we talk and laugh. We play cards together. Then the most important part is our nightly talks face to face on the bed, before I allow her to sleep. Once she enters the bed , she picks up her chain and I lock it around her neck, then our conversation begins. I prefer a chain to lets say leather cuffs or a leather collar because a chain gives her a greater piece of mind, she feels more owned. I will say she sleeps very peaceful.

I have tried relationships with those who are submissive, and it never works. I need the control, it is a 24/7 need. I do not have a switch I can turn on and off. The above is why I needed to be in a relationship with a slave and not a submissive..

One site I have found to be very helpful over the years. is called Best Slave Training. I truly recommend this to all Dominants. It is not to be used word for word, but to read and understand, and implement your own style of training.

http://bestslavetraining.com/

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Vile