The Truth About Daddy Dominants

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Vile

The Whining Dominant

Ive been poking around wordpress some and I have noticed there seems to be a lot of Dominants who Whine a lot.

After reading some of their post, I would think they would be questioning there role in the lifestyle.

You know sometimes we want something so bad but we really do not have a clue.
Maybe you opened a Pandora’s box and your not sure how to handle things, or maybe it is more responsibility than you thought it would be..

One thing I recommend for a new Dominant is to find a mentor, and finding a mentor is really not that hard, because most Dominants will jump at the chance to help an up coming Dominant.
The thing that is hard is investing all the time you need to, and the listening and taking in the information but more importantly retaining it all.

The problem is though once you read a few articles, and you have spent sometime in a few chat rooms you now know everything. There is no one who can tell you anything now because you have 3 weeks worth of Dominant school under your belt.

I was reading a blog the other day, I guess a submissive had left and this dude was like crying. Professing his love for her, almost begging her to come back, well he was begging her to come back.

I will be the first to admit, there has been times when I had to say you know Vile you have bit off more than you can chew, and I ended the relationship.

So in more than 20 years I have had two slaves leave me, one was my fault and the other she was just stupid, and I invested way more time than I should have, and the fact she could not be loyal.

The first who left was Bea, and I understood, but she left me while I was in the hospital.
The other who was really to young left to go back to her BF who was unemployed, I wished her well.
The only thing that upset me when she left was, she left the fucking dirty dishes, WOW how could she do such a thing.

Okay so I was upset for like well maybe 5 minutes maybe a little longer.
You cannot force someone to stay , if you are at the point of begging, the relationship is to far gone.

I am going to let you Dominants in on a little secret.

Gentlemen there is no shortage of pussy, it fucking grows like weeds. There is more pussy out there than you can imagine.
If you are truthful and upfront and your not really looking for a relationship, maybe just a friends with benefits type thing, there are times she will go along with it.

There is no shortage on pussy. You can have your pick, red, yellow, black or white. American, Asian, German, Middle Eastern, you can have your pick.

I will share something else with you guys. You can have your pick of just about anyone you want.

Key word GAME, you got to have Game, because if you walk up to some fine ass woman and your drooling you have lost.

Two greatest fears in life, the fear of loss, and the fear of rejection.
The little hottie you see walking alone in the mall and your afraid to walk up and start talking to her, guess what? Nobody is fucking her, because if your afraid to walk up and talk to her, so are other dudes, and she has a good collection of vibrators at home. Game you got to have Game.

You know what women love more than looks? Confidence , it is true chicks dig a dude who is confident.

If your burning through relationship after relationship then you need to come up with a new plan because what your doing is not working.

The more you whine like a little bitch, the less respect if any you will gain. Once they have seen that side of you it is over, it is done, you cannot change anyone’s mind, unless they feel sorry for you because your begging like a little bitch.

You gotta have game

Vile

I Am Really Disappointed

I have been Mentoring a Submissive for about 6 months now, although we live in different countries I try to stay in contact on a daily basis.

She has needed someone to help guide her in the right direction, making sure she takes her Medication daily and just trying to get her life on the right path. The good thing is she is improving almost daily with a few slips here and there but just like training it is a habit, and you have to make good habits.

So the submissive emails me and ask about a local mentor, someone there she could talk to, someone who would help teach her, and she sent me the name of a Dominant who lives local, and she asked me to kinda feel him out.

I contacted him explaining what needed to be done, I also informed him that the task would not be easy. I also explained to him that for now there should be no sex and no talk about sex, until she is fully back on her meds. I also explained she suffered from depression and anxiety so he had to be careful.

So the conversation him and I had was much different than the conversation they had. I even forwarded the email him and I had to the submissive to show her exactly what had been said.

So the time came and he called her and talked for a while. Now to give you a little back ground. This is a Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for over twenty years, and is the leader of a local group called MasT. Masters And Slaves Together. The group is world wide. He is also suppose to be highly respected there in the local community.

She also made it clear in order for them to move forward he had to read my blog. She explained to me that because of me she has set her standards very high when it comes to meeting a new Dom. Wow okay I did not know I had that much of an impact.

So after the phone call I get an email from the submissive, telling me about their conversation. The main topic was about sex. He felt in order to get to know her she had to share all of her sexual fantasies starting at a young age. He needed to know what she liked and did not like when it came to sex.

The I get an email from him. which was totally different. The thing that stuck in my mind was, A Dominant would have to invest a lot of time and would not get anything in return. Now the getting in return thing, are you talking about getting your cock sucked, getting pussy. What is it one may want to get in return.

Now in the six months I have been mentoring this submissive, sex has not come up . I have not brought sex up, she does from time to time, but it is just questions.

I truly enjoy helping those who are submissive, more so those who are a slave. What is it I get out of it. I actually get a lot. I get to watch someone grow, I get to see the self improvement. I get to see the want to move forward. I get to see one getting their life back together. Last I get to see them pack up and move on. All of that is a huge reward. Knowing that I have made a difference in someones life.

This Dom also made it clear to her that as long as I was in the picture no other Dom including himself would have nothing to do with her. This is mainly because he saw the amount of control I had over her, so if I was out of the picture, she would be fair game.

A mentor is someone who is willing to step in and help guide, to help get someone back on track, to help keep someone on the right path.

A Mentor is not a fuck buddy. That is just taking advantage of someone in a time of need. This is my definition of a Mentor.

Mentor- A tutor, a coach, a guide, a trusted counselor.

When a mentor steps in and they are filling the role of a Dominant, often the Dominant who is doing the mentoring will find that the submissive or slave is in a very vulnerable state of mind, and it would really be easy to take advantage of someone. One develops feelings and the other is just getting their rocks off, and in the end the submissive ends up getting hurt.

Here is the email I sent to this Dom.

I am contacting you on name taking out behalf.
I have known her for several months now, and have been trying to help out as much as possible. Offering advice, making sure she stays in line.

I was wondering if you might know of anyone local, who may be able to step in a kinda guide her.
She does have some issues, she suffers from depression, and is on medication for it.
She is just looking for a mentor to help guide her. I am not sure if she is really ready for anything sexual. We have not really spoken about sex.
If you could or know of someone who might be willing to look out for her that would be awesome.
Thank you
Vile

This was his reply

Hi Vile,

an update as discussed:

I had the phone conversation with name the other day for over an hour and did a lot of digging, and some pushing, to see who and what she was. I needed to understand what makes her tick. I have had some general interactions as well and have noted more things.

I think I should let you know a little about me so you can put what I say into perceptive. i have been active in the lifestyle for over 25 years, and was active even before the Internet. Inj that time I have trained guided protected and mentored many subs/slave & Doms as well. I do a lot of instruction around the mental side of dominance and control and am held in high regard in the Sydney scene. I actually am a committee member of the local MAsT chapter  and an the leader and coordinator for a Male Dominants group called the

I say this because I want to give a little credence to what I want to say as sadly it is not really that positive. I delved into her psychological make up, her dreams and desires, her sexual maturity and her basic sexual drivers. I also tested her core submission and pushed her for reaction.

The result of all this:
She is extremely immature when it comes to relationships and only lost her virginity just before she was 30. As a result she will attach herself quickly to those who show her any affection, especially when that affection is matched with dominance and power. As can be seen by her lifestyle relationships. This means that if she just stepped out she would attract the predator type Dom.

Her depression is long term and extremely well established. This will cause major issues in the lifestyle as it will spark major fear and anxiety from simple play. The long term depression means that her thinking and perspective are skewed to that way of thinking and would read situations in a bad way (happy to send links that cover this). There is one proven cure and that is sustained regular exercise. She needs to find the way to actually do that.

Yes she is submissive, my pick quite extreme as well, but there are huge underlying trust issues. I dont know where they came from but my pick is way before she started her time in the lifestyle. This means that she would require a lot of investment from a mentor before she would actually start to blossom. Sadly the payoff versus the investment means that in her current state most Doms I know would not be willing to invest the time to mentor her as they would get nothing back…. just lots of hard work.

On the up side she has very strong fantasies and she lifted markedly when they were just accepted and not judged, so much so she keep expanding on them. I beleive this shows that she has repressed these since she had them in her early teens but could be a way to help motivate her to start taking action, and could be the shortest path to releasing her true submission.

If that is done in a controlled manner then there is a good chance she could make the improvements in her self and her ability to trust which would show possible Doms her true potential.

I am happy to keep talking with her, but not willing to step into full blown mentor and nor would any Doms I know be willing to either. Her trust issues, and the other things I mentioned above , make her a liability not anything of value. She needs to make herself of some value. I suggest she keeps going to muches, she attends workshops, expands her social connections, and start exrcising in earnest. Her current approach, (she sent me an email stating I would have to earn the right to mentor her and that I would have to do so under your guidance – which is not the way any Dom i know mind works) is not going to achieve anything for her. Hence my suggestion.

I have not feed any of this back to name and will only do so under your instruction. I am happy to say something sofetr to her for example I dont have the time if you want. But I dont think that would help her.

Let me know what you think.

Regards

Now I have known her for over six months and we have had some in depth conversations, and although I came to the conclusion that she needed to take her meds daily, and she had to get out and walk daily. I recommended her going to local meetings, I encouraged her to make friends, more submissive and slave friends. I also make it a point to give praise, Praise goes a long way.

So lets get Vile out of the way. If Vile is no longer in the picture, I get what I want. If Vile is not around she will have to listen to me.

I also recommend if a submissive or slave needs a mentor then they should find another Submissive or slave as a mentor. There are very few Dominants who would take on such a task knowing they get no sex out of the deal.

So if I do not get any pussy, or your not going to suck my cock why would I want to spend my time with you?

There are many in the lifestyle who are just mentors, and they never step up to the plate when it comes to a relationship. Being a Mentor gives you the power but no real responsibility. So while your on your knees sucking cock he can tell you what you have done wrong that day.

This is the fucking ball kicker, another Dominant contacted the submissive I am mentoring and told her they had footage of her and everything was sent to me. I am not sure what he is talking about, I have only had brief conversations with him. I am not even sure why someone would want to fuck with someones mind in such a manner.

This happens all to often, this is what I try and warn all of you about. Because being new to the lifestyle you really do not have a clue, and you have to take someones word.

When I read the reply I was truly at a loss of words and even more so when I read her reply because it was something totally different. Now who am I going to believe. Certainly not the Dominant , I do not know him, how ever I do know the submissive.

Vile