Archive for the Guidelines Category

You Should Not Bash Your Dom

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, consequences, Discipline, Disrespect, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Guidelines, Humiliation, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, morals, Protocol, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive on July 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My Dom is not treating me right, my Dom is an Ass , my Dom does not know what hes doing, my Dom is abusing me.

You know what happens behind your doors should stay behind your doors. What goes on between two should stay that way. It is no ones business.

What makes things worse it may not even be the Dom’s fault. Maybe you don’t like the way hes doing something, or rules he has put in place , or it may even be a punishment you don’t agree with or you think is to harsh.

Then pissed off and you start looking for a new Dominant or Master, giving false information, making your Dom out to be the bad guy.
The truth is most men will take the word of a female when it comes to abuse. I always say there is two sides to every story.

So your out here running off at the mouth and your Dom does not have a clue, your making him out to be the bad guy.

The Doms your talking to , the whole thing is starting out as a lie. The abuse, the lack of communication, the disrespect, the humiliation. When in fact none of it is true.

Here they have tried to start up a few submissive groups, but they never worked, because they just turned into huge bitch sessions…

Now tell me when you put a group of women together, and they start talking trash, do you really believe that no one is not going to say anything?

If you sit down and think the next time you don’t agree with something your Dom has implemented, maybe instead of bitching to other people, you just sit down and think about why he did something.

Maybe you needed stricter rules ,maybe you needed your ipad taking away from you, or your laptop. Maybe you needed more structure.

You need to sit and look back where you were at prior to entering the relationship. I would be willing to be in most cases there was a 100% turn around. I would be willing to bet you are in a much better place.

If you tell a Dominant your being abuse, and your not he will probably believe you.

You should be able to communicate with your owner. and if your not happy with the rules and protocols, you should of thought about that before entering the relationship.

On the other hand if your seeing a Married Dominant and your not getting what you need, then you need to just suck it up..

Vile

Slave Contracts When They Can Be Broken

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, bdsm, Bdsm events, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Guidelines, Inservice Slave, Keeping submissive Isolated, Master, Master And Slave, punish, Punishment, Safe and Sane, slave, Slave Contract, Structure, Submission, submissive, submissive or slave has rights with tags on July 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Slave Contracts are used by two types of Dominants or Masters.
Those with no experience and they are trying to show their authority, and by those who are into extreme ownership.

Contract are used at times to intimidate someone , this happens when you have someone new who knows nothing about the lifestyle. After the signing they do get a different feeling, but it depends on how the slave is being treated. If abused then the slave will feel trapped.
Please refer to the Red Flag post.
If they are being treated as promised, then a great feeling of security. The feeling of being wanted and needed, everything is provided.

The novice Master quickly loses control of reality , now he is in charge, he now owns someone, he now has property. He can now do what ever he sees fit, without caring about someones feelings or emotions, or what the toll is doing to someone.
There is a huge difference between someone who is in control and someone who is controlling, we all know that but when your playing with someones life, it can get pretty bad, on a emotional level.

So as a Slave you do have certain rights , if you singed a contract, in the contract the Master said he would take care of you, Physically and Emotionally . If all of your needs are not being met you have the right to void the contract.
I found this below and I wanted to share

Bea Amor, Yahoo Contributor Network
Sep 18, 2008

You have the right to feel safe.

You have this right irrespective or whether you are submissive or slave. You have the choice as a slave to choose someone who will make you feel safe as this is your sole choice and you need never be in a position where fear is all you know. If you are, this means you have no one to blame but yourself for not choosing the right dominant and for not leaving when you find that this is his or her style of dominance. If you are in a position where you are being held against your will, you need to find a way of escape or indicating distress at the first available opportunity.

You have the right to your emotions and feelings.

As a Slave you have a right to your own feelings and to express them. It does not matter whether they are positive or negative, they need to be discussed whenever they happen for you. Submission does not work in the absence of communication. As a slave you have no right to withhold this from your master or mistress. That person cannot control your life and make good decisions that will not harm you if you do not share the feelings you are feeling.

You have the right to expect happiness in life.

Remember that you chose this lifestyle because you weren’t happy with people who did not know how to handle your submission? Remember that you discovered great joy when you found out that you are not just needy or codependent? You have the right to enjoy this lifestyle and feel all the joy you are getting. It took guts to admit your submission and you are allowed to pick the fruits of honesty.

You have the right to have input in a relationship.

You have the right to communicate openly and honestly and to have say in any relationship – a relationship by definition is a two way street and should never be one sided. You need to make sure that you make your needs known and that you make sure that you are always present in the relationship. Slaves also have this right but they exercise the right when they choose a dominant or master or mistress. Your needs, desires and wants should be discussed in detail before any collar is placed around your neck.

You have the right to belong.

As a Slave you finally can exercise this right. You are now in a family of people who feel the same way you do and who understand who and what you are. You will belong to that special dominant soon or may already belong to someone. Slaves and Slave alike both have that right.

You have the right to be loved and to love.

You have the right to be loved for your submission and to love the person who will control your life and use you to serve them. Love is something that happens in most D/s relationships contrary to what you might have heard. Love also makes you submission bloom. Remember that slaves sometimes have different ideas of what love looks like. They might want someone who humiliates and hurts them and does objectify them. To them that might show love. Never look down on what others perceive as love and celebrate the differences.

You have the right to be healthy.

I would love to change this to you have a duty to be healthy. Health is a requirement for slaves and this is not negotiable. You have to make sure that you are in a healthy relationship and that you do not get abused. If you are, the entire community will rally to your aid should you request it.public

Vile

Is Your Dom Doing His Job

Posted in bdsm, communication, Dominants, Guidelines, Protocol, Rules on September 22, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I received a text last night around 11.30 pm, I was just about to doze off. WWE went off at 10pm, then I sat outside had a drink of Jack and Coke, and smoked an awesome Don Tuto cigar. Friday was a good day I accomplished everything I had planned.

So I get this text, and I know something is up,because no one has the balls to call or text that late, well unless it is steph, which does happen, but that is neither here or there. I am there when ever she needs to talk.

So jess text me, what ya doing? Wow are you fucking serious what am I doing. So I reply are you okay? I am alright, which means no she is not okay. I have been mentoring her for about 3 yrs or so, maybe a little longer. She was married to a friend of mine, who got into the crack thing, and was never able to recover, not sure what happened to him.

So Jess has been seeing this Dom, now for about 6 months, and for what ever reason he is highly jealous of me, as a matter of fact he down right hates me. The thing is I have never fucked jess, it never ever crossed my mind, but I could not ask for a better friend.

After the hello’s are said and done, I ask what is wrong, she knows to get to the point, if not I would just turn my phone off. I do not have time for well nothing is really wrong, or I am okay just bummed, spit it out, why did you text me at 11.30pm.

Women can fucking text like no other like 3 pages in 30 seconds. Well now I am up I go to the kitchen pour a cup of coffee, heat it up in the microwave. We text for about an hour and a half.

When I first met Jess she was a store clerk with two kids going no place. So I spent a great deal of time with her, now next year she will graduate from school as a surgical RN. Has her own place now and a nice car..

Jess is like your typical submissive who was single. Trying to meet someone, anyone to fill that void. The need to please, and be accepted. To find the one who will take control. Sometimes she listens and sometimes she does not. I knew nothing of this guy until she had already basically, moved in with her. She knew I would not approve

When I first learned about him, she explained that she was a little girl who was able to get away with most anything, really no rules or structure, and no responsibility.

So the relationship is really based on sex, and sex only. She has two kids, and he does not spend time with either, and they are not allowed over at his house.

So Jess is really stressed out, falling behind in her bills, and barely keeping up with her homework.Due to this Dom. I have said before you will never hear me speak badly of another Dom. Every Dominant has their own style, every Dominant is different, and trains different.

Once a Dominant gets to know you as a friend and submissive, he then can impalement rules, guidelines, and some who use protocol.

Everything a Dominant shows and teaches you, at some point in your daily activity , you will use what has been taught. It is very important that you the submissive or slave, either takes notes, written or mental. It is important that you get to really know your dominant, inside and out. You watch and listen. I have had a submissive tell me before that she had trouble trying to figure me out.The truth is you will never figure me out. If you think you can, your really just wasting your time.

I do not like just handing a piece of paper with a bunch of rules written down. Instead I will give a few verbal rules, then then rest are more like suggestions, during normal conversation, this is why it is very important to pay attention, not only listen, but take in what you are hearing. This is how one cn tell if someone is truly interested or not, or just along for the kink of things.

It may sound complicated to some, but it is better I think, than trying to overload one with a 100 rules. The idea is to help, not to over whelm. To make one feel at ease, and not like the submissive has to walk on egg shells.

We as Dominants are here to take care of ours. To lead, and guide. To make one feel safe, and needed.

When I begin a new relationship I take note, on how interested one really is, how well they listen. I may at some point just ask a question on something that I have covered, or making a pot of coffee.Cutting my cigar for me, or mixing a drink.

You as the submissive, you have the right to question, if you feel something is not right, or your not sure what is expected of you. You are suppose to have that open line of communication. If you have concerns ask. If you do not, then that falls under choices and consequences. Suck it up and deal with it.

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Vile