Meeting someone at times can be very difficult, even more if you are meeting people online. Every day or most every day it seems most of my blog has grown into awareness and safety when it comes to the lifestyle.
The ones who need the advice are the ones who think they do not need it. The new ones who are just entering or thinking they may be submissive.
The same goes for the new Dominant who read 50 shades of grey. Now they know everything about the lifestyle, they know everything there is about the lifestyle. So lets find someone we can tie up and just fuck their brains out, beat their ass and move on. Even when I have been asked for advice from other Doms, once I start to speak they lose interest fast. I suppose because I go into so much detail.
I was talking to a guy at work yesterday and he was complaining about how much a babysitter was 50.00 dollars a day for two kids, and I am thinking well you know that is really not that much. He kicked his girl friend out who is the mother of the kids. So I asked why don’t you let her move back in. He said well she is a stupid lazy cunt. The bitch will not get a job.
Wow okay , does she take care of the kids? he said yes. Does she cook ? He said yes. Does she clean house ? He said yes. Finely, does she give good head? Yes she does. What the fuck is your problem? The cunt will not get a job> It is a shame a lot of men think this way. Oh why did I bring up the head? Well I believe if your girl, submissive, slave gives good head there is a lot you can look over, that is just me.
Okay that was just a rant I got into I just wanted to make a point not all men think this way but a lot do. What is funny is if they had just a tad more control, and used the control to their advantage, their relationship would flow much smoother. The same thing happens when you try to take short cuts in life, it never works out.
You never get anywhere calling your girl a stupid cunt. That will get you nowhere fast, and here comes the fight, you have been trying to avoid all day but just your words is what started the war. So man up and suck it up, be fucking miserable. Complain everyday about how much your life sucks.
So meeting people can be a task, more so meeting someone you think your compatible with, and in the lifestyle that is not as easy as it seems.
Okay I receive about 200 emails a day, and maybe half are from different blogs. I will admit I cannot go to everyone everyday. I do how ever try and visit each one through out the week. So do not think I am ignoring your blog or I do not care that is not the case.
I take the time to sit and read what I can, work 55 hours a week , then take care of Arianna. My time is spread very thin. Then every now and then one catches my eye and I click on the link. Yesterday I think it was I clicked on Phoenix’s link. It started out
Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble.
So I started reading and she had met a man online and she felt the relationship was going in the right direction. They had been talking for a couple of months and he had not put any effort into meeting her, but what he did manage to do was get her to send him 300 dollars. She found out she had been scammed.
To make it worse I suppose she was in a relationship with another Dom, who she lied to and the confessed to sending him money. She was punished which she deserved. If it had been me it would of probably been much worse. At any rate I am going to guess it has not happened again. I am hoping that anyway.
I have seen men do the same thing, a lot of men on Collarme.com. Some girl will email the man, show interest in them. They will say I would love to be your slave but I do not have the money to get to you, can you wire me 500 dollars and I will be your no limit slave for life. Yes there are some really dumb men out there.
I learned a long time ago, if your a helper in life, and you thrive off of helping people, friends or family you will get burnt every time. Because once you start helping then it become expected. You know this is true
You as a human, a submissive a slave, you have to worry about one thing, and that is you, more so if you are single. You have to look out for yourself because no one else will. You can run someone to the store, you can take someone to work, you can take someone to the doctor, but keep your purse closed. You work way to hard to be giving out money, and most likely money you will never see again. Loaning money has ruined many friendships and has caused fights between family’s. You have to put it in your brain it is okay to say NO. You do not need to go into details. You may feel bad for a minute, but you did not cause the mess they are in. You take care of yourself first.
We all make mistakes, the only bad mistakes are the mistakes we make over and over. If you learn from your mistakes you will grow in the right direction.
Arianna use to loan her mother money all the time. She was like a walking ATM. I put a stop to that real fast. I felt she was being taking advantage of because it was expected.
Never give out your real email address. If you do all they have to do is google your email and your whole life pops up. Someone pointed out my real name was in my emails and I had to change it. I don’t want anyone to google my name. I am not ashamed of anything but you google my name then you google BDSM then images and people are visual.
Why would you send a complete stranger nude pictures of yourself, that does not make any sense. When I first met Arianna she sent me tons of pics, but I never asked for a nude one. That takes out all of the excitement, it leaves nothing to the imagination. If he is truly interested in you he would never ask. The same with getting on cam, most do not want to be naked on cam, while some do enjoy it, but for the most I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you do it to please, and to show your submissive. Why get naked so some dude can jack off, that is all he is doing. If you enjoy phone sex have at it, but only after you meet. You need to be careful with what you share and how much you share at one time. You do not have to submit to anyone until you feel you are ready.
No real Dominant would want to start your training the first time you meet. The first time you meet is just that. You need to take the time to get to know each other.
I know when you first meet someone your excited, after the first fifteen minutes or so your thinking this is the one. Well he is not. Let him show a real interest in you as a person.
The biggest problem with the lifestyle BDSM is people more so men put a sexual label on it. Again it is not just about sex.
BDSM is about communication, structure, rules, protocols, being a couple. The rest just falls into place, then comes the kink, the wild sex, after you have formed a foundation. Phoenix asked me not long ago. How long should you wait? That depends on the person, and what your wanting out of the relationship. I can tell you spreading your legs or sucking cock does not make you submissive, at that point and time it makes you an object, and nothing more.
Bestraining.com has some of the best information on the world wide web, about how a relationship should be. The training process, what a relationship is suppose to be about. I found the Denversubmissive, who has a world of information about his life. The life of a submissive.
I am a Dominant , well okay what makes you a Dominant? Because I like to be in control, I like bondage, spanking, flogging. Not a word about structure, communication has been mentioned. That does not make a Dominant.
When you first meet someone and you do not fuck on the first or second date your percentage stays pretty high when it comes to forming some type of relationship. If you lay on your back and spread the first time you meet, your percentage has dropped dramatically and chances are that will be your last meeting. There may be a few afterwards but it will be short lived.
I piss a lot of people off, I am guessing it is how open I am. I am straight to the point. If you asked a question, and you wanted to know the truth would you want them to beat around the bush or just tell you like it is..
A lot could be avoided if we just took a second to think. I will tell you this and I truly believe it. over 95% of our problems are self inflicting, mostly by trying to take short cuts or not listening to your brain.
If you are not in a long term relationship, more so if you have never met the guy, don’t give him any money. His problems are not your problems, and chances are your not the only one who has or is giving him money.