Archive for the Gorean lifestyle Category

You Cannot Demand Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, commitment, communication, control, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Master, Master And Slave, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Uncategorized on September 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at a MAsT Meeting on Saturday , Masters And Slaves Together, somehow we drifted off topic and I was talking about the abuse in the local community and how the younger ones had no one to talk to.

I have spoken to a few Dominants about putting together a type of outreach program for younger slaves and those who are submissive, but no one has stepped forward as of late to help put something together.

Lets face it a 18 year old slave cannot turn to a 18 year old Dominant for advice when the topic is suicide or other problems. Like many of you, you truly do not have anyone you can turn to in a time of need, and certainly not your family when it comes to your lifestyle.

Then we got off track speaking about other Dominants we both knew 25 years ago, some still remain active in the lifestyle while one who I truly admired as a mentor fell from grace. A Dominant who was once respected in the lifestyle but go really stupid and ended up in prison.
I found it odd at times when a Dominant gets into trouble due to his own doings, be it acting foolishly or just being stupid. That is not something you would normally see out of a seasoned Dominant.

Then we got off on training, as I am talking and I start to unzip my pants, and the words come out of my mouth well lets start your training now, then Bam I stop…

We had left to look at another Apartment that morning, a very nice apartment, once inside it looked like a resort.
I am still trying to justify paying 1100 dollars a month for a place to sleep and fuck.

Moving closer to Arianna’s work for me is very important. She commutes and hour one way now so I would like to cut that down to about 15 or 20 minutes.
If your going to live someplace more so in an apartment you don’t want just anyone living next door, so I am willing to pay more.

You know there are so many levels of submission, and there is a Dominant for each Level. The same goes with a Dominant there are many different levels.

All to many times some are to fast to offer something that is so precious. Some just to fast to offer something that should be earned.

Respect has to be the first factor when it comes to entering a D’s or M’s relationship. You have to be able to respect the one your with.

One thing you cannot do is earn respect through chatting, emails and phone conversations. You may get that first WOW feeling, but the respect factor is going to have to be earned while both being present.

Earning someone’s respect is a process, and it should not be a first meeting process, it is a process that both of you should build together.

Someone making demands from the start is unrealistic. Being told to address someone as sir or calling someone Master before even agreeing to enter a relationship is unrealistic.

The one thing you want to happen is to see that WOW factor grow, as that WOW factor grows the respect begins to grow.

You want to make sure the Dominant is who he says he is. You want to make sure the Dominant is telling you the truth, being 100% honest with you.

One thing I never understood, why is it so important to show up for dinner wearing no panties? How does that prove your submission? Is that how you want to show your submissive ?

Why would you want to send someone you have never met nude pictures of yourself.
I myself never asked for any nudes from Arianna before we met. Do you know why? Because I respected her, I wanted to be able to move on past that WOW factor.
If I had asked for nudes I would of been just like every other she had met or Dominants who were trying to meet her. So I wanted to show I was different. I wanted to show Arianna I was more than the WOW factor.

If a Dominant wants to earn your submission, then he should have to earn your respect.

respect

Vile

Words And Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Slavery, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One thing I do during training is, I utilize what is called speaking in thirds. This is something that is common in the Gorean lifestyle.

To me speaking in thirds has a purpose, and the purpose is to make one focus, to think, to think before they speak.

The words tend to have more meaning, and the slave is able to explains things better if she has to think before speaking.

Speaking in thirds gives one a total different aspect of who and what they are, it is like a reminder, and it teaches self discipline.

Once I start training I use the technique for a couple of weeks or sometimes I will use as a form of punishment, again to make the slave think.

When a Dominant uses the word Train, it is good to ask what he hopes to get out of it, and how the training is going to benefit you ?

So the night before last we were laying in bed, I was watching shark week, Bah Humbug, and I get an email. Guess from who? Yup Arianna, I was like what but sometimes she is able to express herself better writing things down, or in an email , than talking sometimes and I do understand her reasoning.

Arianna was expressing interest in speech restriction, and using the term your property when addressing me.

Her reasoning was it would make her feel a deeper submission, not only speaking in thirds but using the word property.

Once you give up full control , and you learn to follow the rules, protocols, it becomes a habit, and when things are a habit there are times we do not even realize we are doing them.

That is how Arianna feels at times, everything just falls into place and she does not see her submission.

That is why I have said in the past it is very important for the Dominant to remain consistent on a daily basis. If you say something, then mean what you say. If you say your going to do something then do it.

Although I am not Gorean I do follow many of the protocols, and I am consistent.

I can also tell you what rules work for one does not work for another. It would be almost impossible for every slave or submissive to have the same rules.

What protocols, and rituals that worked for one will not work for another. Every Slave or sub is different, their habits are different, but more so their needs…

Behavior Modification, changing the way one thinks or acts, in public or private.  Changing ones thoughts, or how they view things.

This can be done, if the Dominant is true to the relationship , but just as I tell those who are submissive, I tell the Dominants the same thing. Be careful what you ask for.

The best way to kick off your training, is for both to be able to take a vacation, and no I am not joking. You have kinda like a 5 to 7 day mini boot camp.

Before you say anything Arianna has been there, and she can tell you that her changes have only been positive.  Being able to let your mind go, and just flow with your training, but truthfully training can only be successful if you trust the one your with.

So there are some who wish to move into a deeper submission, even after training, the training never really stops, it does continue and it is daily maintenance.

The changing of one word , yes that is all it takes, just as Arianna stated in her email.

Instead of using the word I, she wanted to use your slave, or this slave.

About a month ago , I instructed Arianna to use the words Thank You. Thank You for everything.

Thank you for letting me sit, shower, bathroom. After taking the first bite of food, Thank You.

This all falls under Behavior Modification, but you as the Dominant you need to remain consistent.

You know what I truly find disturbing is a Dominant who is not really a Dominant, but enters a relationship with a Baby Girl a Submissive, under false pretenses. Promising one thing but not being able to deliver.

The Dominant not thinking of the negative effects he is having on someones life, the damage that is being done, and playing with someones emotions.

Then it is clearly not the Submissive who is the problem, it is the Dominant who will put all the blame on the sub or baby girl because the relationship did not work. When in fact the Dominant either had no intentions of making things work, or he did not have a clue.

Changing one word, can change ones life.

problem

Vile

Some Feel Bad For Arianna

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Definitions, Behavior Modification, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Domme, emotional, Emotions, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, No Rights, Protocol, Protocol public, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Slave Contract, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive on January 26, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A few of the comments that have been made has really got me to thinking, one that really hit me was the one about cutting Arianna’s hair. It sounded as is they were truly concerned about her well being.

I would just like to go over a few things, not that I have to explain myself because I do not have to, but I am going to take you a little deeper into our relationship.

Like most Arianna has probably been a slave for a very long time, I am even going back to her childhood days. While growing up being married twice, being taking advantage of several times by other men was something she was pretty much use to.

Most who are submissive or a slave know they are different, and most know they are different at a very young age. You continue to grow still having these feelings but you have no idea who to talk to. Maybe you have tried to talk to your husband or boyfriend but they did not understand, or they thought something was wrong with you.

Before I move on I will say this again. If your in a relationship and you cannot communicate, by communicate I mean being able to talk freely about anything and everything. You are in the wrong relationship. I call that a relationship of convenience, and nothing more. If you cannot talk to your partner about how you like to be spanked, slapped, tied up, or even peed on. You need to rethink your life. Are you going to live miserable for the rest of your life, or are you going to put your foot down and do something about it.

So when I first met Arianna she was out of control. She was on the verge of a serious break down and no one cared. She really had no one she could talk to and certainly not her nutty mother, who is a true wack job. She was lost and her life was spinning out of control. She was out almost every night drinking, guys were taking her money. She had spent 30.000 dollars on motorcycles .

Then we met , we had dinner I cooked for her. Baked chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, home made green beans, and rolls. I do enjoy cooking when I have time.

No I did not get a blow job nor did we fuck.

While talking well I let her talk and I just listened because I wanted to take everything in. While listening I was analyzing every word that came out of her mouth. While trying to process everything, and thinking of solutions , it really had my brain pretty much whacked by the time she left.

When she left I had a couple staying with me, and kelly said there is no way in gods world are you going to pull her in, I just winked and walked away. I may have said something as well but I do not remember.

So now I had to decide if I wanted to put that much into a relationship? We met again and like the first time we hit it off, so far the only thing we did not have in common was music.

I could see the confusion in her eye, I could see the hurt, I could feel how lost she was, and I wanted to take her by the hand right then, but we had to talk.

She told me she was a slave, she told me she wanted to serve. She told me she needed to be micromanaged. She told me she wanted no rights.

So before entering the relationship everything was pre-negotiated . I explained to her how I ran my house, my rules, and my protocols, and she agreed. So Arianna did not enter the relationship blindly.

As far as giving up control this is what she wanted, and now it has come to a point where she wanted to give up more control. This has come now because she knows she can trust me.

Arianna did have a break down. She had been seeing a doctor who had her on the wrong medication for years. Prior to that she had , had a couple but not as sever.

This was a very hard time for both of us, but we both stuck together. I was called in to speak to her counselor and we talked about our relationship. She did agree that the way our home was, it was good for Arianna to have rules and protocols. This came from a medical professional.

Cutting her hair was not a spur of the moment thing, again this was negotiated. I also wanted to see how far her submission was. We cut it she did not like it, but she was happy because I did.

Although we do not have a written contract we do have a verbal contract. It states what is expected out of each other. She states how Arianna will conduct herself at all times public or private. Where she can go, when she can go, and how long she can go. What she will wear. There is much more but again everything was negotiated, nothing is or was forced.

I believe a lot of the negative thoughts are coming from those who are younger submissives , or maybe even younger slaves. This all depends on what type of Dominant or Master you live with or what type of relationship your in.

Bottom BDSM

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Submissive (BDSM))

Male bottom held on a leash by a female top

In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.

A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.

The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex. (See bottom (sex))

Limits to submission

The acceptance of a bottom or submissive role in a BDSM relationship is seldom absolute, often operating within a set of defined limits.

A common means by which a bottom or submissive can signal to a top or dominant partner that their limits are being approached, pushed, or even crossed is the use of safewords; Extreme forms of submission or the practice of edgeplay can remove the safeword option from the bottom or submissive, although, this somewhat risky situation is entered into with the consent of the bottom or submissive.

It gives a clear definition of a submissive, or what is also known as a Bottom. The submissive does not submit on a 24/7 basis, and can put limits on their submission, as well as rules.

The world of BDSM as I posted the other day the BDSM Tree Of Life shows the different branches and the different lifestyles and that just touched on a very few.

Master and slave bdsm

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Slave

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Symbols and rituals

A slave collar with D-rings, to which a leash may be attached

Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include the wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.

Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the master has the only say in all matters relating to the body and manners of the slave, including clothing, underwear, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. However, these contracts are understood as not having any legal weight and are not intended to be used in a court of law, but are an understanding and agreement between the individuals.

In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes slave status. These collars are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves are permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home – for example during work or in social situations with people who may feel uncomfortable by them.

Slave training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the master or mistress, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the master or mistress has set out.

Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the master or mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The master or mistress will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to them. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make their master or mistress happy. Or, the slave gets a reward like food, a bed, etc.

In some instances, in more extreme relationships, it may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, cropping or clamping to encourage compliance, and to permit the slave to find an excuse for complying in their own minds. If the “slave” being trained is also a masochist, they may enjoy painful punishment, therefore punishment may need to be psychological or emotional, to create the unpleasant result that the punishment requires.

The way a submissive and Dominant live, although some who are submissive may call theirs Master out of respect. The relationship between Master and Slave is much different.

The training is much different, the intensity of the training is much more different, the consistency of the training is much different, and then the daily life is much different than that of a submissive, or lets say a baby girl.

Those of you who do not understand Arianna started a blog because she felt she needed to share some of her thoughts about what I write. Those of you who have seen it, you have the freedom to ask her anything and she will answer with all honesty.

As I stated the world of BDSM has many branches , we all take a little from this and a little from that to make us who and what we are.

Although I am not Gorean I do run my house in a Gorean way, the difference being I only have one slave. I use Gorean Protocols as well

I can assure you our relationship is consensual. There is nothing non-consensual about our relationship. To this day Arianna wants to add more, as far as giving up rights and freedom.

I can assure you Arianna is where she needs to be, wants to be. Together we will continue to grow as Husband and wife, and Master and Slave.

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Vile

Is Old Guard Real ?

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Alt.com, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Breaking Rules, Collar, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, Ego, etiquette, events, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Gorean Portocol, Honesty, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Leather Guard, Master, Masters, morals, munchs, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, older Dominants, Open Minded, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self-Discipline, slave, submissive, TPE on July 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the new today will argue that Old Guard is just a Myth, it never was and never will be. When in fact I do believe and have spoken to elders who were a part of Old Guard, in the late 60’s through the early 80’s

Old Guard refers to the leather community mainly the gay community. I myself am not into the leather scene, nor am I a part of any leather family since most have blown the protocol way out of text. In my eyes a lack of respect of what use to be.

Most of the Leather Family’s today are known as pansexual , you can google that. Unlike Old Guard, today’s Leather family’s welcome most anyone, without even really knowing anything about them. In the Old Guard days there were strict rules and Protocols to be followed. The Old Guard was a closed community and you had to become a member. Before membership was allowed one had to learn all rules and protocols and follow them, if not you got the boot.

Over the years we have strayed, we have lost the meaning of BDSM and it has falling more into just a kink, a past time, weekend warriors, bedroom only. Which is okay but the problem is everyone is right, no one is wrong. When someone hears how a slave or submissive lives they are just blown away and cannot believe they would allow someone to treat them a certain way.

It is not that a slave or submissive in today’s times are part of or believe in Old Guard, they just fall into their Dominants ways of doing things. Being strict, having rules, even protocols both public and private is perfectly okay, when there is no physical or mental abuse involved.

It is not that we take the lifestyle differently some are just more serious than others when it comes to the world of D’s and M’s. How Master Joe runs his house is on him, I do not and will not judge.

Back in the day a Dominant had to make his way through the ranks, there were steps that had to be taking. If a submissive or bottom had more experience than the Dom the sub out ranked the Dom, yea sounds weird. The problem is today’s Dominants want to start out as president they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Unlike today back in the Old Leather Guard there were dress codes, and they were enforced. Arianna and I have attended some local groups and I cannot believe they way some of the sub/slaves come dressed, more so the way their master allows them out of the house. Arianna has pointed out how mouthy some are, how she cannot believe how some disrespect their Doms.

Today it would be almost impossible to put together an exclusive group for meetings or teachings because of how BDSM  has branched out. Most groups come and go because of a dictatorship or just huge egos. Most people today are close minded when it comes to how others live as well

Old Guard when in a social setting it was the Dominant with the most experience who led the conversation, on the other side if the bottom had more experience they led the conversation, if equal the Dom was giving the go ahead.

When walking the submissive walked one or two steps behind, remember you are not equal in a sense. A Dominant would never think of hugging or shaking the hand of a submissive, nor would the submissive make direct eye contact, though the Dominant would. A Dominant would never think of touching another who was owned and collard, there was a respect thing.

Protocols is a lost art today, but what I expect if out in public a Dominant or Submissive should not assume anything. A Dominant should not just walk up to a submissive and strike up a conversation, they same with a submissive. It is however proper and okay to ask. Some couples have no protocols at all, nor do they wish to, this is where the lack of respect comes into play when it comes to what others believe. I have had people say they could never live like Arianna nor would they want to. What we have as a Master and Slave is very unique and special.

Old Guard when a Dominant was being served there were two ways, one palm out and flat drink on palm, the other the sub would kneel head down and arms extended making the offering. Depending on the protocol the sub could either leave or had to ask permission.

Those who play on the internet who belong to sites such as Collarme.com Alt.com BDSM.com and so on generally stay on those sites with very little real in person interaction, those who get lucky enough to find a submissive or Slave generally fuck it up because they have no real clue what a in person interaction is. It does not take long for the Submissive to realize they have been played. The so called Dominant will generally put the blame of the submissive when it comes to the relationship not working.

When I speak about myself at times I mention old school, and not old guard. Old School just means I hold certain values when it comes to the lifestyle, I give and expect respect. I set my life to a certain standard as I do with my Slave. I expect when out my slave is giving the up most respect and she will do the same in return.

So in closing I think we should all get back to the basics when it comes to the lifestyle. Yes we do need rules, yes we do need guidelines, yes we do need dress codes, yes we do need protocols. More so we do need to respect others.

Coming in at the top of those who truly live the lifestyle with the fullest respect are those of the Gorean lifestyle. If you should ever have the honor of meeting a Gorean Master or Slave you would be truly amazed. Old Leather Guard probably not since the lifestyle is based on a line of books, but the lifestyle is very strict and respected by many. I am not saying everyone should live the Gorean way, but if you study up on it, it will give you a way different out look and perspective of their lifestyle.

We should all come together as one, and set standards, keep the lifestyle proud, keep the fakers out. It could be done.

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Vile

Speaking In Thirds

Posted in bdsm, Behavior Modification, Change, control, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Gorean Portocol, molding your slave, slave, Speaking In Thirds, submissive on July 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Slave speaking in the third person can be used as punishment, or to give them a greater sense of having the slave feeling.

I did this with Arianna for about a week. Although popular in Gorean books it is not a normal everyday practice.

A week Arianna spoke, This Slave. This Slave would like to speak, this Slave would like a glass of water, this Slave would like permission to go to the bathroom.

Making one think. The Gorean Masters well those I have met and that is very few, required their Slaves yes plural Slaves to speak in Thirds. It is not uncommon for a Gorean Master to own more than one Slave. In the Gorean lifestyle it is not as sexual as the BDSM lifestyle I believe it is more service orientated, each Slave has their own responsibility, and their own chores that has to be done around the house. While I have read up on some of the Gorean lifestyle, I am only sharing what I know. Please feel free to correct me if I misstated something.

You could take it deeper, This Girl, many years ago I had a very good friend who lived in New York. We chatted almost everyday for over a year, then one day she just went poof. Our conversations never turned sexual, because she was owned, and I fully respected that. When chatting her reply would be This Girl.

Humiliation in Thirds, This whore, this cunt, this slut, you get the idea. Speaking in thirds really makes one think. The slave has to think before speaking.

This can also be a good training tool, protocol, behavior modification. Structure, as in making one think before acting or speaking, and last it shows respect, and the willingness to want, if that makes any sense.

Vile