A few of the comments that have been made has really got me to thinking, one that really hit me was the one about cutting Arianna’s hair. It sounded as is they were truly concerned about her well being.
I would just like to go over a few things, not that I have to explain myself because I do not have to, but I am going to take you a little deeper into our relationship.
Like most Arianna has probably been a slave for a very long time, I am even going back to her childhood days. While growing up being married twice, being taking advantage of several times by other men was something she was pretty much use to.
Most who are submissive or a slave know they are different, and most know they are different at a very young age. You continue to grow still having these feelings but you have no idea who to talk to. Maybe you have tried to talk to your husband or boyfriend but they did not understand, or they thought something was wrong with you.
Before I move on I will say this again. If your in a relationship and you cannot communicate, by communicate I mean being able to talk freely about anything and everything. You are in the wrong relationship. I call that a relationship of convenience, and nothing more. If you cannot talk to your partner about how you like to be spanked, slapped, tied up, or even peed on. You need to rethink your life. Are you going to live miserable for the rest of your life, or are you going to put your foot down and do something about it.
So when I first met Arianna she was out of control. She was on the verge of a serious break down and no one cared. She really had no one she could talk to and certainly not her nutty mother, who is a true wack job. She was lost and her life was spinning out of control. She was out almost every night drinking, guys were taking her money. She had spent 30.000 dollars on motorcycles .
Then we met , we had dinner I cooked for her. Baked chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, home made green beans, and rolls. I do enjoy cooking when I have time.
No I did not get a blow job nor did we fuck.
While talking well I let her talk and I just listened because I wanted to take everything in. While listening I was analyzing every word that came out of her mouth. While trying to process everything, and thinking of solutions , it really had my brain pretty much whacked by the time she left.
When she left I had a couple staying with me, and kelly said there is no way in gods world are you going to pull her in, I just winked and walked away. I may have said something as well but I do not remember.
So now I had to decide if I wanted to put that much into a relationship? We met again and like the first time we hit it off, so far the only thing we did not have in common was music.
I could see the confusion in her eye, I could see the hurt, I could feel how lost she was, and I wanted to take her by the hand right then, but we had to talk.
She told me she was a slave, she told me she wanted to serve. She told me she needed to be micromanaged. She told me she wanted no rights.
So before entering the relationship everything was pre-negotiated . I explained to her how I ran my house, my rules, and my protocols, and she agreed. So Arianna did not enter the relationship blindly.
As far as giving up control this is what she wanted, and now it has come to a point where she wanted to give up more control. This has come now because she knows she can trust me.
Arianna did have a break down. She had been seeing a doctor who had her on the wrong medication for years. Prior to that she had , had a couple but not as sever.
This was a very hard time for both of us, but we both stuck together. I was called in to speak to her counselor and we talked about our relationship. She did agree that the way our home was, it was good for Arianna to have rules and protocols. This came from a medical professional.
Cutting her hair was not a spur of the moment thing, again this was negotiated. I also wanted to see how far her submission was. We cut it she did not like it, but she was happy because I did.
Although we do not have a written contract we do have a verbal contract. It states what is expected out of each other. She states how Arianna will conduct herself at all times public or private. Where she can go, when she can go, and how long she can go. What she will wear. There is much more but again everything was negotiated, nothing is or was forced.
I believe a lot of the negative thoughts are coming from those who are younger submissives , or maybe even younger slaves. This all depends on what type of Dominant or Master you live with or what type of relationship your in.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Submissive (BDSM)
Male bottom held on a leash by a female top
In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.
A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.
The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex. (See bottom (sex))
Limits to submission
The acceptance of a bottom or submissive role in a BDSM relationship is seldom absolute, often operating within a set of defined limits.
A common means by which a bottom or submissive can signal to a top or dominant partner that their limits are being approached, pushed, or even crossed is the use of safewords; Extreme forms of submission or the practice of edgeplay can remove the safeword option from the bottom or submissive, although, this somewhat risky situation is entered into with the consent of the bottom or submissive.
It gives a clear definition of a submissive, or what is also known as a Bottom. The submissive does not submit on a 24/7 basis, and can put limits on their submission, as well as rules.
The world of BDSM as I posted the other day the BDSM Tree Of Life shows the different branches and the different lifestyles and that just touched on a very few.
Master and slave bdsm
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
||This article needs additional citations for verification. (March 2009)
In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.
The owner/slave relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.
Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.
Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.
Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.
Symbols and rituals
A slave collar with D-rings, to which a leash may be attached
Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include the wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.
Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the master has the only say in all matters relating to the body and manners of the slave, including clothing, underwear, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. However, these contracts are understood as not having any legal weight and are not intended to be used in a court of law, but are an understanding and agreement between the individuals.
In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes slave status. These collars are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves are permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home – for example during work or in social situations with people who may feel uncomfortable by them.
Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the master or mistress, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the master or mistress has set out.
Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the master or mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The master or mistress will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to them. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make their master or mistress happy. Or, the slave gets a reward like food, a bed, etc.
In some instances, in more extreme relationships, it may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, cropping or clamping to encourage compliance, and to permit the slave to find an excuse for complying in their own minds. If the “slave” being trained is also a masochist, they may enjoy painful punishment, therefore punishment may need to be psychological or emotional, to create the unpleasant result that the punishment requires.
The way a submissive and Dominant live, although some who are submissive may call theirs Master out of respect. The relationship between Master and Slave is much different.
The training is much different, the intensity of the training is much more different, the consistency of the training is much different, and then the daily life is much different than that of a submissive, or lets say a baby girl.
Those of you who do not understand Arianna started a blog because she felt she needed to share some of her thoughts about what I write. Those of you who have seen it, you have the freedom to ask her anything and she will answer with all honesty.
As I stated the world of BDSM has many branches , we all take a little from this and a little from that to make us who and what we are.
Although I am not Gorean I do run my house in a Gorean way, the difference being I only have one slave. I use Gorean Protocols as well
I can assure you our relationship is consensual. There is nothing non-consensual about our relationship. To this day Arianna wants to add more, as far as giving up rights and freedom.
I can assure you Arianna is where she needs to be, wants to be. Together we will continue to grow as Husband and wife, and Master and Slave.