Archive for the Gorean Portocol Category

Master And Slave Behavior modification

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Behavior Modification, cock sucking, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Giving Head, Gorean Portocol, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Manipulation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owning a slave, provocative, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on April 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have covered this before , but I would like to go into a little more detail. I am not by any means an expert , nor do I have a PHD. What I do have though is almost 25 years experience in the BDSM lifestyle. I have played many different roles , the only thing I have not done and never will is be in the submissive role.
Some will argue you have to be submissive before you can be a Dominant and I find that statement to be complete hog wash. I have filled the Sadist role, I have been a Daddy Dom , A Dominant and a Master , owner of Property. Each role is very different , each role needs different care , but what they all have in common is they all require communication and honesty.

I have done years and years of research, met thousands of people in the lifestyle some good and some bad , some real and some fake. The one thing that is for sure you have to take your relationship serious. You have to know without a doubt what type of relationship you need , not want.

Behavior modification
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
For the journal, see Behavior Modification (journal).

Behavior modification is the traditional term for the use of empirically demonstrated behavior change techniques to increase or decrease the frequency of behaviors, such as altering an individual’s behaviors and reactions to stimuli through positive and negative reinforcement of adaptive behavior and/or the reduction of behavior through its extinction, punishment and/or satiation. It is similar to operant conditioning but with the absence of the antecedent. Behavior modification is now known as Applied behavior analysis (ABA) which is more analytical than it used to be..

http://www.livestrong.com/article/234171-examples-of-behavior-modification-plans/

Basics

Behavior modifications plans will vary depending on the individual and the behavior or behaviors that need to be changed. Behavior modification plans will include reinforcers, which are consequences that increase the behavior, and/or punishments, which are consequences that reduce the behavior.

Here comes a word I bring up in just about every post, can you spot it ?

Consistency

When developing any type of behavior modification plan, it is important to keep in mind the ease of use. For behavior modification plans to be effective, they must be followed with consistency . Therefore, if the plan is hard to use, the likelihood that it will be effective will decrease because there will be inconsistent follow through. Okay maybe you missed it ? consistently , Consistence.

During any training the key is consistency if you the Dom or Master are not consistent you will fail and it will be your fault.

No matter your degree of submission you are going to go through some type of behavior modification.

Okay so BDSM is not medical and we certainly not shrinks by any means , but we are not only Dominants Masters or Daddy Doms , we are giving the responsibility and have agreed to take care of someone.

Now you the Dominant if you have any plans at all , in introducing any type of Behavior modification during your training this is something you should cover during your negotiations.

Adaption is a form of Behavior Modification , submission is a form , or just in general your employer.

When you speak in terms of BDSM your life takes a 100 degree turn, the way you talk, act , walk , speak, dress and in most cases even your hair color. Speaking of sex you will go through a few changes , now the sex is on your owners terms, the way you fuck , the way you suck cock, the way you lay , and at times when your allowed to cum.
Sex is on my terms , many men think with their dick and some would crawl naked through broken glass if they thought they were going to get a blow job, that is a true sign of being weak , and weak minded.

We train to fit our needs and wants , we train to fit your needs. Training can only be successful through positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcement is a reward , you have done well, you are doing good thank you for all of your effort, you will make me a good slave. I really appreciate the effort you have been putting into our relationship.

I have covered in great detail about Arianna’s training and today it is on going. It is funny when I first met Arianna I asked her, how do you see your self as a salve? Her reply was she did not know. I asked her if she had any ideas about what she wanted out of training and her answer was no.
I then explained as we grew together and we learned each other she would have questions and things she would want to try and today that statement proved me right. Arianna is always trying to come up with ways to deepen her submission. The truth is she would rather be chained 24/7 and just used for pleasure and service.

Recently ahh about 3 months ago I required Arianna to speak in thirds , Speaking in thirds is mainly a Gorean protocol , while I am not Gorean I do use many of the lifestyles protocols. Speaking in thirds is a reminder of not only who Arianna is but what her position is in out relationship. Now she never uses the words I or me, it has been replaced with she or your slave. While she had second thoughts about being able to master such a task , Arianna has perfected it.
Did it happen in a week ? Of course not , did it happen in a month ? Again no it did not , did it happen in two months ? Again it did not , did I punish her when she messed up or forgot ? The answer is no I did not punish her. You have to remember I changed her whole thought process as far as speaking and thinking before she speaks. The harder=est part was being able to change her speaking process when around family and friends, I can assure you that is or was not an easy task. Everything is done through Positive Reinforcement

Rules that are attainable not out of reach , unrealistic will break a relationship. To many rules can cause a over load and cause a mental crash. The Dom spends more time waiting on a rule to be broken then training.
Rules are a type of Behavioral modification , your taking bad habits and replacing with good habits and again the is done through positive reinforcement , security , structure, communication , and rules.

You have to determine how far and deep you want to go with your submission. You have to determine how much control you want to hand over , you want to make sure your needs are met because if they are you will have no wants.

One last thing i want to add is , if you do not live together the above is nearly impossible to achieve. The Dominant really has no control over you and you will grow tired of trying to please someone who is not there.

train

Vile

Words And Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Slavery, Total Submission, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

One thing I do during training is, I utilize what is called speaking in thirds. This is something that is common in the Gorean lifestyle.

To me speaking in thirds has a purpose, and the purpose is to make one focus, to think, to think before they speak.

The words tend to have more meaning, and the slave is able to explains things better if she has to think before speaking.

Speaking in thirds gives one a total different aspect of who and what they are, it is like a reminder, and it teaches self discipline.

Once I start training I use the technique for a couple of weeks or sometimes I will use as a form of punishment, again to make the slave think.

When a Dominant uses the word Train, it is good to ask what he hopes to get out of it, and how the training is going to benefit you ?

So the night before last we were laying in bed, I was watching shark week, Bah Humbug, and I get an email. Guess from who? Yup Arianna, I was like what but sometimes she is able to express herself better writing things down, or in an email , than talking sometimes and I do understand her reasoning.

Arianna was expressing interest in speech restriction, and using the term your property when addressing me.

Her reasoning was it would make her feel a deeper submission, not only speaking in thirds but using the word property.

Once you give up full control , and you learn to follow the rules, protocols, it becomes a habit, and when things are a habit there are times we do not even realize we are doing them.

That is how Arianna feels at times, everything just falls into place and she does not see her submission.

That is why I have said in the past it is very important for the Dominant to remain consistent on a daily basis. If you say something, then mean what you say. If you say your going to do something then do it.

Although I am not Gorean I do follow many of the protocols, and I am consistent.

I can also tell you what rules work for one does not work for another. It would be almost impossible for every slave or submissive to have the same rules.

What protocols, and rituals that worked for one will not work for another. Every Slave or sub is different, their habits are different, but more so their needs…

Behavior Modification, changing the way one thinks or acts, in public or private.  Changing ones thoughts, or how they view things.

This can be done, if the Dominant is true to the relationship , but just as I tell those who are submissive, I tell the Dominants the same thing. Be careful what you ask for.

The best way to kick off your training, is for both to be able to take a vacation, and no I am not joking. You have kinda like a 5 to 7 day mini boot camp.

Before you say anything Arianna has been there, and she can tell you that her changes have only been positive.  Being able to let your mind go, and just flow with your training, but truthfully training can only be successful if you trust the one your with.

So there are some who wish to move into a deeper submission, even after training, the training never really stops, it does continue and it is daily maintenance.

The changing of one word , yes that is all it takes, just as Arianna stated in her email.

Instead of using the word I, she wanted to use your slave, or this slave.

About a month ago , I instructed Arianna to use the words Thank You. Thank You for everything.

Thank you for letting me sit, shower, bathroom. After taking the first bite of food, Thank You.

This all falls under Behavior Modification, but you as the Dominant you need to remain consistent.

You know what I truly find disturbing is a Dominant who is not really a Dominant, but enters a relationship with a Baby Girl a Submissive, under false pretenses. Promising one thing but not being able to deliver.

The Dominant not thinking of the negative effects he is having on someones life, the damage that is being done, and playing with someones emotions.

Then it is clearly not the Submissive who is the problem, it is the Dominant who will put all the blame on the sub or baby girl because the relationship did not work. When in fact the Dominant either had no intentions of making things work, or he did not have a clue.

Changing one word, can change ones life.

problem

Vile

Training Arianna

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Adapt, anal sex, Anger Issues, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominant, Ego, emotional, Emotions, Gorean Portocol, Jealous, Married Dominant, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, micromanage, Micromanagement, molding your slave, owning a slave, Patience, Protocol, Protocol public, Punishment, references, Rough Sex, Rules, slave, slave positions, Spanking, Speaking In Thirds, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Text, The World Of BDSM, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Power Exchange, TPE, Train your slave, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive, Training your wife, Vile Woods on FaceBook on June 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training still continues today, after two years we still continue to add. What is more interesting is Arianna continues to think of ways to give up more control. Truth be known she would be happy if she could stay home 24/7 chained to the floor, or most of her day spent in a cage.

When you hear the words A no rights Slave if you want to know the definition you can look to Arianna to find out that answer. Some take the no rights thing to an extreme but we all have common sense or I would hope. You would never want to do anything that would cause your slave any harm, or push them to the point of breaking. That is why I have stated over and over it is very important to know your submissive or slave inside and out.

What do I mean when I say no rights. First Arianna has no say so at all, before you jump the gun this was something she needed and wanted. This is why at times it is hard for a submissive or slave to find the right Dominant. If he is in it just for the game he will want no responsibility , meaning he is just after the pussy. The minute you show you are the slightest bit needy you will see a fast change in the Doms attitude.

When you speak of living D’s compared to living an M;s relationship there is a huge difference. A submissive has the right to say no, a submissive submits on their terms. While it is true a slave could really do the same if it really came down to it, but for the most that is not the frame of mind a slave wants or needs.

While there are many different resources and books on the market today, if you are a new Dominant or your interested in exploring the lifestyle then I recommend, http://bestslavetraining.com/ There is just a huge amount of information that is provided, it is almost endless.

The new Dominant who is just entering the lifestyle or the young Dominant I truly recommend this site. Also to those who are submissive it is good reading and it will show and teach you about how a D’s Or M’s relationship should truly be, again a lot of good info.

So you take a Slave and you mold them into someone you need. I myself had a very clear picture of how I saw my life living as a Master , and fully owning a Slave. In reality in today’s times you cannot legally own someone, but to be able to achieve that frame of mind is truly an unreal feeling.

You take someone and mold them into someone who fits exactly what your looking for when it comes to an M’s relationship. This is why once I started my search it took well over a year, as a matter of fact I was at the point of saying fuck it I am done, because there is no one out there who truly wants to live as a Slave. I was at the point of packing everything up and I was going to move overseas, I already had a job in place, and a place to live.

Then I met Arianna , I could tell just by talking to her she was different, the way she sat, talked , the way she communicated, the way she carried herself, the way she expressed herself and explaining why she needed to be a slave. I asked several times a Slave are you sure a Slave and not a submissive.

Then as she began to go into details about how she saw herself living as a Slave, I myself began to have doubts about taking on so much responsibility. Now it was I who had to decide if I wanted to take that step. You know I never really gave it much thought until Arianna shared how she wanted and needed to be treated. Rules , Structure , the giving up total freedom.

So I had a very short time to think about if I wanted to take such a deep step, I also have a very short time to put a plan together so it was very important to spend as much time with Arianna as I could , so I could really get to know her inside and out.

Arianna had been going through some very bad times before I met her , she was like a kid turned lose in a toy store but on an adult level, and she was very close to having a break down. She had been seeing a Doctor who had been prescribing the wrong medication for years, and every time Arianna went for a visit it was always her fault. So shortly after we met Arianna did in fact have a break down. So it was I who found a Doctor, and the doctor put her back on the right track. In the meantime I had come across Journals that Arianna had written, hundreds of them, note books dating back some 15 years, full from front to back. I spent a day and three pots of coffee just reading. I could not believe how one person could possibly endure so much hurt and pain. So we talked about the journals and I explained it was a need to get rid of the past, so we sat down and went through the journals and one by one putting each one in the trash. There were a few I did allow her to keep, those with poems that she had written or ones she felt really close to. I had someones life right before my eyes. A true story of a life full of pain and confusion, and people who did not understand her.

I suppose there comes a point where people want to care about someone until you have to put a little effort back into the relationship, once it becomes a little work to make the relationship work it is no longer adventitious so you slowly begin to start being pushed out, or everything is just blamed on you.

You can do it, there is nothing wrong with you. I do not understand how or why you feel like you do, I just want you to fix it.

Now my challenge had grown ever bigger because I had to change my whole plan, I had to sit down and think and think fast. I knew she wanted to be trained but I also had to consider her health factor, on the mental side of it. Her past relationships with Dominants had been abusive, verbally and physically and neither one of them had a clue who Arianna really was. Neither one really knew Arianna as a person , neither one knew her thoughts or needs nor did they really care. At the same time I had to stand firm, I had to implement rules, put structure into place.

Shortly after her break down I was called in to meet with her doctor, and after explaining our relationship she even said Arianna was in a good place, and the structure I provided was good for her..

You can only be trained if you actually live the D’s or M’s lifestyle 24/7. If you do not live together there is noway to even implement a plan. The Dominant is not there to enforce the structure, rules or protocols. Some may disagree and if you do I would like to see your plan because I am going to lay my plan out here.

If you do not live together you really do not have any control, you as the Dominant may think you have control but you are not there. Being in control via text, chat, on the phone, Skype does not compare to being able to wrap your hands around her throat and looking straight into her eyes, and speaking, then you are and have control.

If you are only seeing your Dominant once or maybe twice a month you are not living the true D’s more so if your just meeting up in a motel room, you are only experiencing the kink side of it, your there for a couple of hours maybe the night, the Dom leaves happy and you leave full of cum until the next meeting.

Training your Slave I am going to leave the submissive out of this picture for now because the Submissive has the right to say no. The Submissive puts limits on their submission. Just as the Bottom the bottom for the most only submits during play and will tell you before hand what is going to happen.

I believe many who are new to the lifestyle and who are submissive are being told they are a slave when in fact they are only submissive. Many men who claim to be the Fifty Shades of Grey for what ever reason prefer the word slave, or they try and plant a seed in your mind to make you think. You already have a pretty clear picture of what your limits are and you should stand by them.

This is why I did not want a D’s relationship, I had tried a D’s relationship several times and it just did not pan out. Once I started my search it was well over a year before I stumbled across Arianna, and it was like she just fell from the sky right onto my Lap

When training your slave you are taking bad habits and changing them with new habits. You are implementing new habits into ones life. The thing that really got into my mind was Arianna really had no habits, there was nothing she did on a regular basis that you would actually call a habit.

The same with rules and structure you are implementing new habits. I will say this none of Arianna’s rules are sexual. Rules are meant to improve ones life, to help guide, provide structure. safety , and make one feel secure. Ive read many post and blogs where rules are posted and they are sexually based. I really find this to be really disturbing , because the Dom or Daddy is really doing nothing to improve.

If you do not get to know your Submissive or Slave inside, out and you start implementing things and you do not know them on a emotional playing field you could really fuck someone up. If you have a submissive who suffers from any type of depression and you don’t know the medications they are taking, again you can really fuck someone up. If you do not ask these questions in depth during your first meeting , then it is apparent you really do not give a fuck, your only thinking of yourself.

You take someones life and you turn it completely around, you take a human and turn them inside out, you change everything about them right down to their personality, in some cases even the way they think.

I started training Arianna the day she moved in. I did not say okay your training has started, or this is what we are going to do. The training is something that we had been talking about but I really did not go into any great details.

I have talked about this before but I did not really go into any great detail. One huge mistake that most Dominants make or Daddy’s once in a relationship they tend to isolate the submissive, they cut them off from all friends and sometimes family. My train of thought is this is a huge mistake, because you still have to allow them some freedom, because there is a breaking point. The Submissive or Slave does need a break, a day off , time to visit friends, a girls night out, a day with the family. Doms who do not allow this have a very low self esteem, they are very insecure, jealous, they have trust issues, and probably ego driving, these are the abusers be it verbal or physical. Your relationship is a power struggle between the two of you, your resisting on all levels but you do not know why you cannot fully submit.

The first week we lived together we were like your every day normal Vanilla couple, we talked laughed, joked. The 8th day I restricted certain areas of the house. I walked Arianna around the house showing her where she was allowed to sit, and the furniture was not anyplace she was allowed. This was practiced on a daily basis. She now had to have permission to enter the bed. She now had to have permission to shower, to go to the bathroom. She now had to have permission to play on her phone, watch TV . When we ate dinner she sat on the floor next to me, and at times I would feed her. While in the house there were only two places she was allowed to sit. On the floor next to the sofa, or on the floor next to me at the dinner table. In the morning time I would allow her to sit at the table while we had our morning coffee.

Over a period of ninety days I implemented 20 rues, all of which were meant for self improvement. Again none of the rules were sexual. To gain more control, I implemented the speaking in thirds, may this slave, can this slave, this slave would like. Speaking in thirds is an awesome training tool, but I use only for a short time, or at times I will use as a form of punishment

I changed Arianna demeanor meaning the way she walked, the way she spoke to people. I implemented protocols for private and public. I trained her for in house service for when company was over.

One of the first things I did when Arianna and I first met I introduced her to others who were in the lifestyle, people I had known for 20 plus years. This I believe gave me greater credibility in her eyes, because she knew then I was who I said I was. We went out to eat with other couples in the lifestyle, we were invited to friends of mine for dinner , people just had to meet Arianna, and everyone welcomed her with open arms.

The came the service test I invited a Master and Slave over. Arianna and I cooked a rockin dinner, and Arianna served, and before we ate she either stood behind me or knelt beside me while we talked. That night she was the perfect host.

During this time sex was kept minimal and only on my terms. I said spread I used her and I got off, most of the time without even speaking, until she asked permission to exit the bed.

Arianna now needed permission to shower , she now needed permission to go to the bathroom. There were no exceptions. I now controlled what Arianna ate while at work, and how much she was able to spend.

Arianna now had to keep a daily journal one in the car so she could write down the time and mileage, when she left the house to go to work, when she arrived to work, when she left from work. If she needed to stop by the store if we had not discussed prior she needed permission. Once home she had another journal. This was so she could write down the time she started task, and the finish times.

I then implemented a few of the Gorean slave positions I did not use daily but when I did they were used mainly for humiliation to sort of remind her who and what she was.

Sex I love to fuck, I cannot remember the last time I made love. I do not even think it is possible for me any more, I love to fuck. There are three holes and I use which ever I want without asking.

You know years ago I never would of thought you could actually teach someone the way you wanted your cock sucked, or the way you wanted them to spread while your fucking, or if you told someone to lube your cock and they immediately got on their hands and knees and reached around spreading their ass open with out having to tell them, or to snap your finger and that was the notification to suck your cock.  There is nothing like the feeling knowing that your Slave lives to please you.

Okay so going on a little over two years now, wow time has flown by. Arianna has been punished one time and one time only. I usually do not spank as a form of punishment but this time it was needed. It reminded her of what she did, and now she thinks before acting, because she knows in our house there are two things you take note to, Choices and consequences.

To be able to train someone or be trained if you do not live together it is almost impossible, its like putting a screen door on a submarine and not expecting water to come in.

Now before you jump the gun and say wow vile your an asshole, or your mean and cruel, I am going to say 90% of the above was Arianna’s idea this is how she saw herself living as a slave, A slave not a submissive.

We were only able to achieve such a relationship with constant communication. Communication is the magic key, and if your submissive or slave does not feel they can talk to you about anything on any level, then you will never have their total submission, and your relationship will crash and fucking burn.

If you are seeing a married Dominant who is cheating on his wife, you will never be able to explore your submission to the depths you need, you will never be allowed to be who you are, most of all you will never be fully free.

One thing that just blows my mind and maybe someone can answer this question. If your seeing a Married so called Dom or Daddy, what do you think about while your sucking his cock? Do you think about how his wife sucks his cock? Maybe you think about him fucking his wife? Maybe he fucked her in the ass and did not shower before coming to see you? Do any of these things go through your mind? Do you ever think he just fucked his wife and your cleaning his cock off? Worst if you think your the only one he’s banging if hes married, WOW . Just keep texting or trying to call see how long you have to wait, go on be miserable. Or if your texting stops abruptly for no reason. You know what the deal is, you really know but you ignore it. You will sit there and wait and wait and wait, now that is really pathetic no matter what page your on, that is truly pathetic, and you deserve everything you wish for. If you were willing to enter such a relationship, LISTEN TO ME, you get what you deserve.. Get upset with me I did not do anything I am just speaking the truth.

More to come here shortly.

Guys you can have the world, you can have the perfect relationship, you can have anything you want or need, it is at your finger tips. All you have to do is be real and stop playing games. If your married and your not happy this is for male and female get the fuck out, just fucking tell who ever your living with, Hey I am done, I am outta of here. Don’t bring your drama into their life fucking leave.

As I am nearing 250.000 visitors Sometime next week I want to share the different country’s that have visited. This is really awesome to know that people from all over the world are reading my blog….

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Vile

Some Feel Bad For Arianna

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Adapt, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Definitions, Behavior Modification, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, Domme, emotional, Emotions, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Portocol, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, No Rights, Protocol, Protocol public, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Slave Contract, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive on January 26, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A few of the comments that have been made has really got me to thinking, one that really hit me was the one about cutting Arianna’s hair. It sounded as is they were truly concerned about her well being.

I would just like to go over a few things, not that I have to explain myself because I do not have to, but I am going to take you a little deeper into our relationship.

Like most Arianna has probably been a slave for a very long time, I am even going back to her childhood days. While growing up being married twice, being taking advantage of several times by other men was something she was pretty much use to.

Most who are submissive or a slave know they are different, and most know they are different at a very young age. You continue to grow still having these feelings but you have no idea who to talk to. Maybe you have tried to talk to your husband or boyfriend but they did not understand, or they thought something was wrong with you.

Before I move on I will say this again. If your in a relationship and you cannot communicate, by communicate I mean being able to talk freely about anything and everything. You are in the wrong relationship. I call that a relationship of convenience, and nothing more. If you cannot talk to your partner about how you like to be spanked, slapped, tied up, or even peed on. You need to rethink your life. Are you going to live miserable for the rest of your life, or are you going to put your foot down and do something about it.

So when I first met Arianna she was out of control. She was on the verge of a serious break down and no one cared. She really had no one she could talk to and certainly not her nutty mother, who is a true wack job. She was lost and her life was spinning out of control. She was out almost every night drinking, guys were taking her money. She had spent 30.000 dollars on motorcycles .

Then we met , we had dinner I cooked for her. Baked chicken, homemade mashed potatoes, home made green beans, and rolls. I do enjoy cooking when I have time.

No I did not get a blow job nor did we fuck.

While talking well I let her talk and I just listened because I wanted to take everything in. While listening I was analyzing every word that came out of her mouth. While trying to process everything, and thinking of solutions , it really had my brain pretty much whacked by the time she left.

When she left I had a couple staying with me, and kelly said there is no way in gods world are you going to pull her in, I just winked and walked away. I may have said something as well but I do not remember.

So now I had to decide if I wanted to put that much into a relationship? We met again and like the first time we hit it off, so far the only thing we did not have in common was music.

I could see the confusion in her eye, I could see the hurt, I could feel how lost she was, and I wanted to take her by the hand right then, but we had to talk.

She told me she was a slave, she told me she wanted to serve. She told me she needed to be micromanaged. She told me she wanted no rights.

So before entering the relationship everything was pre-negotiated . I explained to her how I ran my house, my rules, and my protocols, and she agreed. So Arianna did not enter the relationship blindly.

As far as giving up control this is what she wanted, and now it has come to a point where she wanted to give up more control. This has come now because she knows she can trust me.

Arianna did have a break down. She had been seeing a doctor who had her on the wrong medication for years. Prior to that she had , had a couple but not as sever.

This was a very hard time for both of us, but we both stuck together. I was called in to speak to her counselor and we talked about our relationship. She did agree that the way our home was, it was good for Arianna to have rules and protocols. This came from a medical professional.

Cutting her hair was not a spur of the moment thing, again this was negotiated. I also wanted to see how far her submission was. We cut it she did not like it, but she was happy because I did.

Although we do not have a written contract we do have a verbal contract. It states what is expected out of each other. She states how Arianna will conduct herself at all times public or private. Where she can go, when she can go, and how long she can go. What she will wear. There is much more but again everything was negotiated, nothing is or was forced.

I believe a lot of the negative thoughts are coming from those who are younger submissives , or maybe even younger slaves. This all depends on what type of Dominant or Master you live with or what type of relationship your in.

Bottom BDSM

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
  (Redirected from Submissive (BDSM))

Male bottom held on a leash by a female top

In BDSM relationships, the bottom or submissive takes the passive, receiving, or obedient role. The other partner is the top or dominant.

A bottom can be subjected to acts such as flogging, servitude, or humiliation and can be physically restrained by bondage, which can itself inflict pain. A person who relinquishes control for a large percentage of his or her day-to-day life to a top, or who submits within a formal set of rules and rituals, is sometimes referred to as a slave. The top is then often called the Master or Mistress.

The term bottom originates from a more general use of the word, especially in the gay male community, to mean receptive partner during anal sex. (See bottom (sex))

Limits to submission

The acceptance of a bottom or submissive role in a BDSM relationship is seldom absolute, often operating within a set of defined limits.

A common means by which a bottom or submissive can signal to a top or dominant partner that their limits are being approached, pushed, or even crossed is the use of safewords; Extreme forms of submission or the practice of edgeplay can remove the safeword option from the bottom or submissive, although, this somewhat risky situation is entered into with the consent of the bottom or submissive.

It gives a clear definition of a submissive, or what is also known as a Bottom. The submissive does not submit on a 24/7 basis, and can put limits on their submission, as well as rules.

The world of BDSM as I posted the other day the BDSM Tree Of Life shows the different branches and the different lifestyles and that just touched on a very few.

Master and slave bdsm

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Slave

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Symbols and rituals

A slave collar with D-rings, to which a leash may be attached

Various forms of symbolism are sometimes used to affirm the owner/slave relationship. These include the wearing the owner’s collar, being registered in a slave register, adopting (sometimes legally changing to) a name chosen by the owner, or engaging in a public declaration or ritualized ceremony of some type.

Some people draw up a slave contract that defines the relationship in explicit detail. These contracts may also deal with domestic arrangements (such as cleanliness, home duties) and interpersonal relationship matters (such as issues of deference, language, etc.), besides the sexual arrangements. Typically, they would provide that the master has the only say in all matters relating to the body and manners of the slave, including clothing, underwear, social relations outside of the arrangement, etc. However, these contracts are understood as not having any legal weight and are not intended to be used in a court of law, but are an understanding and agreement between the individuals.

In some traditional rituals, after signing a slave contract, many people celebrate the commitment to the relationship with a collaring ceremony, which can be simple or elaborate and friends are usually invited. The slave then wears a collar, which symbolizes their status. The collar may be a piece of neckwear, or may be a bracelet or other piece of jewellery that symbolizes slave status. These collars are generally not removed unless or until the relationship is dissolved, although some slaves are permitted to wear a more subdued (or less obtrusive) one outside of the home – for example during work or in social situations with people who may feel uncomfortable by them.

Slave training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a master or mistress and a slave. Typically this involves changing the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the master or mistress, perhaps instructing the slave to follow a set of rules that the master or mistress has set out.

Slave training is a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the master or mistress, or dominant. Training will usually be set out and defined clearly before it begins. The master or mistress will teach the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing to them. The slave, in return, gets pleasure from being able to make their master or mistress happy. Or, the slave gets a reward like food, a bed, etc.

In some instances, in more extreme relationships, it may also involve some forms of aversion training. This could include use of spanking, cropping or clamping to encourage compliance, and to permit the slave to find an excuse for complying in their own minds. If the “slave” being trained is also a masochist, they may enjoy painful punishment, therefore punishment may need to be psychological or emotional, to create the unpleasant result that the punishment requires.

The way a submissive and Dominant live, although some who are submissive may call theirs Master out of respect. The relationship between Master and Slave is much different.

The training is much different, the intensity of the training is much more different, the consistency of the training is much different, and then the daily life is much different than that of a submissive, or lets say a baby girl.

Those of you who do not understand Arianna started a blog because she felt she needed to share some of her thoughts about what I write. Those of you who have seen it, you have the freedom to ask her anything and she will answer with all honesty.

As I stated the world of BDSM has many branches , we all take a little from this and a little from that to make us who and what we are.

Although I am not Gorean I do run my house in a Gorean way, the difference being I only have one slave. I use Gorean Protocols as well

I can assure you our relationship is consensual. There is nothing non-consensual about our relationship. To this day Arianna wants to add more, as far as giving up rights and freedom.

I can assure you Arianna is where she needs to be, wants to be. Together we will continue to grow as Husband and wife, and Master and Slave.

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Vile

Is Old Guard Real ?

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Alt.com, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Breaking Rules, Collar, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, dress, Dress Protocol, Ego, etiquette, events, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Gorean Portocol, Honesty, Kink, kinkster, kinky, Leather Guard, Master, Masters, morals, munchs, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, older Dominants, Open Minded, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Self-Discipline, slave, submissive, TPE on July 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Many of the new today will argue that Old Guard is just a Myth, it never was and never will be. When in fact I do believe and have spoken to elders who were a part of Old Guard, in the late 60’s through the early 80’s

Old Guard refers to the leather community mainly the gay community. I myself am not into the leather scene, nor am I a part of any leather family since most have blown the protocol way out of text. In my eyes a lack of respect of what use to be.

Most of the Leather Family’s today are known as pansexual , you can google that. Unlike Old Guard, today’s Leather family’s welcome most anyone, without even really knowing anything about them. In the Old Guard days there were strict rules and Protocols to be followed. The Old Guard was a closed community and you had to become a member. Before membership was allowed one had to learn all rules and protocols and follow them, if not you got the boot.

Over the years we have strayed, we have lost the meaning of BDSM and it has falling more into just a kink, a past time, weekend warriors, bedroom only. Which is okay but the problem is everyone is right, no one is wrong. When someone hears how a slave or submissive lives they are just blown away and cannot believe they would allow someone to treat them a certain way.

It is not that a slave or submissive in today’s times are part of or believe in Old Guard, they just fall into their Dominants ways of doing things. Being strict, having rules, even protocols both public and private is perfectly okay, when there is no physical or mental abuse involved.

It is not that we take the lifestyle differently some are just more serious than others when it comes to the world of D’s and M’s. How Master Joe runs his house is on him, I do not and will not judge.

Back in the day a Dominant had to make his way through the ranks, there were steps that had to be taking. If a submissive or bottom had more experience than the Dom the sub out ranked the Dom, yea sounds weird. The problem is today’s Dominants want to start out as president they are right and everyone else is wrong.

Unlike today back in the Old Leather Guard there were dress codes, and they were enforced. Arianna and I have attended some local groups and I cannot believe they way some of the sub/slaves come dressed, more so the way their master allows them out of the house. Arianna has pointed out how mouthy some are, how she cannot believe how some disrespect their Doms.

Today it would be almost impossible to put together an exclusive group for meetings or teachings because of how BDSM  has branched out. Most groups come and go because of a dictatorship or just huge egos. Most people today are close minded when it comes to how others live as well

Old Guard when in a social setting it was the Dominant with the most experience who led the conversation, on the other side if the bottom had more experience they led the conversation, if equal the Dom was giving the go ahead.

When walking the submissive walked one or two steps behind, remember you are not equal in a sense. A Dominant would never think of hugging or shaking the hand of a submissive, nor would the submissive make direct eye contact, though the Dominant would. A Dominant would never think of touching another who was owned and collard, there was a respect thing.

Protocols is a lost art today, but what I expect if out in public a Dominant or Submissive should not assume anything. A Dominant should not just walk up to a submissive and strike up a conversation, they same with a submissive. It is however proper and okay to ask. Some couples have no protocols at all, nor do they wish to, this is where the lack of respect comes into play when it comes to what others believe. I have had people say they could never live like Arianna nor would they want to. What we have as a Master and Slave is very unique and special.

Old Guard when a Dominant was being served there were two ways, one palm out and flat drink on palm, the other the sub would kneel head down and arms extended making the offering. Depending on the protocol the sub could either leave or had to ask permission.

Those who play on the internet who belong to sites such as Collarme.com Alt.com BDSM.com and so on generally stay on those sites with very little real in person interaction, those who get lucky enough to find a submissive or Slave generally fuck it up because they have no real clue what a in person interaction is. It does not take long for the Submissive to realize they have been played. The so called Dominant will generally put the blame of the submissive when it comes to the relationship not working.

When I speak about myself at times I mention old school, and not old guard. Old School just means I hold certain values when it comes to the lifestyle, I give and expect respect. I set my life to a certain standard as I do with my Slave. I expect when out my slave is giving the up most respect and she will do the same in return.

So in closing I think we should all get back to the basics when it comes to the lifestyle. Yes we do need rules, yes we do need guidelines, yes we do need dress codes, yes we do need protocols. More so we do need to respect others.

Coming in at the top of those who truly live the lifestyle with the fullest respect are those of the Gorean lifestyle. If you should ever have the honor of meeting a Gorean Master or Slave you would be truly amazed. Old Leather Guard probably not since the lifestyle is based on a line of books, but the lifestyle is very strict and respected by many. I am not saying everyone should live the Gorean way, but if you study up on it, it will give you a way different out look and perspective of their lifestyle.

We should all come together as one, and set standards, keep the lifestyle proud, keep the fakers out. It could be done.

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Vile

Speaking In Thirds

Posted in bdsm, Behavior Modification, Change, control, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Gorean Portocol, molding your slave, slave, Speaking In Thirds, submissive on July 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Slave speaking in the third person can be used as punishment, or to give them a greater sense of having the slave feeling.

I did this with Arianna for about a week. Although popular in Gorean books it is not a normal everyday practice.

A week Arianna spoke, This Slave. This Slave would like to speak, this Slave would like a glass of water, this Slave would like permission to go to the bathroom.

Making one think. The Gorean Masters well those I have met and that is very few, required their Slaves yes plural Slaves to speak in Thirds. It is not uncommon for a Gorean Master to own more than one Slave. In the Gorean lifestyle it is not as sexual as the BDSM lifestyle I believe it is more service orientated, each Slave has their own responsibility, and their own chores that has to be done around the house. While I have read up on some of the Gorean lifestyle, I am only sharing what I know. Please feel free to correct me if I misstated something.

You could take it deeper, This Girl, many years ago I had a very good friend who lived in New York. We chatted almost everyday for over a year, then one day she just went poof. Our conversations never turned sexual, because she was owned, and I fully respected that. When chatting her reply would be This Girl.

Humiliation in Thirds, This whore, this cunt, this slut, you get the idea. Speaking in thirds really makes one think. The slave has to think before speaking.

This can also be a good training tool, protocol, behavior modification. Structure, as in making one think before acting or speaking, and last it shows respect, and the willingness to want, if that makes any sense.

Vile

Slave Clothes

Posted in bdsm, Gorean Portocol, slave, slave dress on January 23, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Tish / Arianna has been having thoughts about how she does not feel completely owned. This is not to say we are not doing well because we are.  I would also say you cannot feel owned 24/7, although you are in that frame of mind.

So I bought a few dresses , dresses that normally a 65 year old woman would pick out. Yes they are really ugly, like long thick night gowns. I have Tish / Arianna wear often.

The purpose is to give the slave feeling. I pick out her clothing everyday once she gets home, or when we go out.

Although I am not Gorean I do follow and implement much of the protocol. The protocol has not been a task on my part because Tish / Arianna is probably the most compliant slave I have ever met, there has been no resistance at all.

So Yesterday I was doing some reading, trying to figure out what I could implement to give more of a slave feeling. I have been told to call her a whore, a cunt , a stupid bitch. To keep reminding her she is not equal, blah blah. Do not get me wrong, I do believe humiliation may be needed at times, just not in those forms.

So I googled John Norman, and started to read, and it hit me. The art of speaking in thirds, this is a practice used by those who live the Gorean Lifestyle. Speaking in thirds is a constant reminder of who and what she is.

The speaking in thirds is not something I will use as permanent training method but temporary, and until she has become comfortable speaking in thirds without having to think about what she is saying.

To those who have never heard of speaking in thirds. It would go. May this slave sit, May this slave get master anything, may this slave go to the bathroom, so on .

The speaking in thirds is a reminder to her just about every time she speaks of who and what she is. Makes her feel humble. I am glad to say so far it is working. At some point and time I will stop it, when I feel she has reached that point.

Tish / Arianna has been going through many changes, changes that are personal,and challenging , and those not so personal. I have introduced her to a lot of people in the lifestyle in the area, next month we are Orlando bound.

Tish / Arianna has really come along way, and together we have worked through many things that have come out. The key is we have worked together, and through communication. She is not only very beautiful, but she is very smart, a smart woman is a huge turn on.

Tish / Arianna has informed me she would like to start another blog besides the one she has, she would like to take on more of a role in my blog.

I am not going to post any nudes of her, nor am I going to get really personal, out of respect. I have posted some pictures on my facebook, non nude.

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Vile