Archive for the Honesty Category

BDSM And Mental Health

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anxiety, Argue, Arianna, BBW, BDSM Hypnosis, Collar, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Honesty, Humiliation, Hypnosis, Lie, predators, Protocol, Rules, sadist, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick on July 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While it is true there are many who are Slave and Submissive’s in the lifestyle who do not suffer from any type of depression, anxiety, or anything else. It has been my experience over the past two decades that well over half of those I have met have falling under what I am going to speak about.

Before Arianna met me she had been with a couple of Dominants who were abusive, one more physical than the other. The one who was the oldest was more mental abuse, screaming yelling, keeping her up for hours at a time. While the other was more mental, he was the one I called the Hypno Dom.

He is local and uses hypnosis to lure his victims in. Now Hypnosis does not work with everyone, I know because I went to see one once before to try and stop smoking

On the other hand hypnosis does work on some, if the mindset is right. Picking those who are submissive and knowing one could have problems, or maybe even show signs of being lonely. I even consulted a couple of well known Dominants in the area, and it was pretty much Wow that sucks huh.
Well when it comes to rape, or really hurting someone physically to me is a huge deal. Arianna had taking a couple of good beatings from him before she caught on.

I mentor a submissive who lives in another country, and she has improved 1000 times over since we first met, and it was mainly just staying in touch and giving advice when she asked.
So she emailed me about this Dominant who was into mental sadism , I was thinking like wow really? Okay so I contacted him, and I asked if he knew she suffered from anxiety and depression? His answer was no.
So he was going to session with her not knowing anything about her or her mental state..

It is no secret that Arianna had a break down not long after we had met, it was something that was a long time coming, and things were just piling up, and it was like a Volcano.

I do try and make all of Arianna’s appt with her, and yesterday was one, and as the Doctor walked out to welcome Arianna, she looked and said oh your here. Yes I am I thought.
So there were a few changes, and I asked a thousand questions. I wanted to know why, how, what for, and why again. Yea she loves me.

Her doctor knows of our lifestyle as well, we had never come right out and said anything but I am sure she knows what the collar is around Ariannas neck.
I forget what was said but she made the comment that rules and structure were good to have in a home.

I am not going to go down a long list of medications, but I just want to touch on a few things.
If someone is taking medication for depression you as the Dominant need to know why, the same with Anxiety . How long have they been on medication?
At what age did they start? What was the family upbringing like? What was school like? You need to know the submissive inside out ,and then outside in.

So what if this Mental sadist was to of had a session with this Submissive who is bipolar, suffers from depression, and anxiety, not having a clue about her mental state. Lets say he started off playing some mind fucking games, moving into a little pain, all while she is bound, gagged, and blindfolded.
Do you really think he was going to care about the aftermath . The same with the Hypno Dom, who preys on weak women…

Before I say anything else, not every submissive , or slave suffers from anything, there are those who wake up perfectly normal. There are those who do not need to see doctors. To those I say you are very lucky.

Above is the abuse I have been talking about for so long. If you meet a Dominant and he is not asking these question, you are not going to volunteer any information in fear of rejection. If he is not asking questions wanting to know the real you, and he is just interested in your kinks, or demanding you call him Sir. Yea you know.

Although you want to share your life, you do not want to spill your life out in one sitting, this can also make you a target. You should however share information about any medications your on and why you are taking them, how long you have been taking them, and why.

Once I learned about Arianna, I did have a little help as well, that was her journals I read, it took me over 8 hrs to read everything. The training plan I had in mind prior was much more strict , I probably would of seemed more distant in someways. I was not looking to hurt anyone mentally or physically, I was looking for a partner and slave.

When you first meet a Dominant and the first couple of days are just sexual, and he is not trying to get to know you as a person, do you really think he has your best interest in mind?

Here is the number one problem this is to those who are new. You believe anything your told,and you feel you do not have the right to ask questions.

I know when I first meet someone I want to know them inside out, because if you dont and you have a real intense session, and the Dominant dose something to cause a break down, the first words out of his mouth is , Well I didn’t know.. You did not tell him, or he did not ask, there is the lack of communication maybe on both parts, it is not always the Doms fault.

A submissive told me the other day she had suffered from depression but no longer took her meds, she said she was cured and no longer needed them. She came to this conclusion on her own, and the Dominant who I take is a Doctor agreed with her. If he was not a doctor he would of taking different steps I would think. You cannot play with someones well being, you cannot play with someones mind, or their emotions.

All it really takes is you sharing very important information, you the submissive has the right to say no I am not going to do that, or you are not going to do that to me. You have that right. You have the right to have what was promised, you have the right to walk away when you are being abused or lied to.

If the Dominant your with does not care about your safety , then he is not the one for you. If the Dominant does not care about your well being then he is not the one for you.

Move on…

love

Vile

Making Love Nah , Having Sex Nah , Just Raw Fucking

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Alt.com, Arianna, bdsm, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, Cheating Dominant, Collarme.com, communication, control, Dating, Deception, Discipline, Dominant, Drama, Emotions, Fake Dominants, fifty shades of grey, Flogger, Floggers, Honesty, Kink, kinky, Loyal, Manipulation, Married Dominant, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, Pain, Patience, punish, Punishment, pussy, Rules, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, sub-space, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Text, TPE, Vile Woods on FaceBook on April 20, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna cooking dinner I get home from work walk over bend her over and push three finger inside her pussy, slowly fucking her until she starts to breath a little heavy, then I just simply walk away going about my business.

Being able to just snap your fingers and your submissive drops to the floor without question, even better tell them to go to the bedroom and strip and spread you will be there in a minute. Crawl on top bust your nut and get off. It can be that simple.

The thing is every Dominant , every Master can have it this way.  No questions asked, never. You can lead and they will follow you where ever you go.

Being a Dominant is much more than barking our orders, going to wal mart and buying a dog collar, changing rules when no rules are being broken and you want to punish.

I saw a post on Facebook not long ago a submissive was going to meet her Dom, and he was figuring out different ways to punish her, just for the sake of punishing.

The truth is most of you who except bruises except only because you think that is part of the D’s lifestyle , then there are those who except them because you want the relationship to work, so you will take what ever. Then there are those who truly enjoy them. There are Masochist who truly enjoy pain, there are those who need pain as an escape a way to release, but for the most, many of you just except it.

I heard some time ago that pain was needed to reach sub-space and that my friends is so far from the truth. There is nothing written anyplace that says pain is need to reach sub-space.

Sub-space is mental, sub-space is the connection the two of you have with each other, sub-space depends on how far your Dominant can get into your head, sub-space depends on the intensity of play, and it does not have to do anything with pain.

Okay so lets take the words BDSM we have the kink, we have the sex, we have the control, we have the bondage, the floggers, whips, cuffs, ahh the St Andrews cross. The list goes on and on, and while it is true all of this is a huge plus it is not the foundation of the relationship.

The foundation first and for most is the communication we have, second is the control we show at home and while out. Being honest, loyal, most of all truthful. You learn to guide they will follow and follow without question….. The rest is just a bonus, and the bonus’s just keep getting better and better. The longer you are who you say you are, the more your subs or slaves wall will slowly come down.. Once those walls come down your relationship has no end, it will continue to grow.

All these fake dudes the Fifty shade dudes who do not have a clue, the married dudes who do not have a clue. Their life is so fucked up trying to juggle two lives, hiding everything hoping they don’t get caught. Or the guy who thinks he is King Dom after reading Fifty Shades now he wants to be king master and he is on the hunt. These are all short lived relationships. The married one is not going to leave his wife, more so if he’s not investing anything into the relationship.  If your his submissive and your living alone he should be paying for part of your upkeep he should be helping with the home. I am telling you this from a mans point of view, if he is married he will not leave his wife, he has way to much to lose.

Listen to this you who are seeing married Doms, you are only getting one side of the story about how bad their home life is, you are getting their story. If their life was so bad, they would have already moved out, yes just like I did, they would of already left their wife and kids behind. . He can go on and on about how bad his marriage is, how much he hates his wife, but the bottom line is he is still there and he will be there when you are gone.

Now my question is how can you sleep at night with a clear conscious? How can you sleep at night knowing what you are doing to his family, destroying what she has worked so hard to build. Because what ever a man has it is because of his woman, it is because of his wife. Just something to think about because it is not fair that she does not have the ability to share her side of it. If his marriage is so bad put your foot down, put a time limit that he has to move out, then see what happens. It is not fair to destroy something his wife has worked so hard building, and the bad thing is she does not have a clue that things are so bad, because he will not communicate with her. Now if you think your the only one he is seeing you are stupid, and I know you are thinking the same thing in the back of your head. When you go days with out a call or email, or even a fucking text.

On the other hand if you do not care, and you are that cold you don’t have any feelings then go for it. To each their own I am not judging anyone, have a little compassion.

If he will fuck around on his wife, guess what ?

Now all the trouble you girls go through someone made a comment just a little bit ago.

You are a minority Vile… and are one of the rare ones to do it right.

Okay that can be a true statement but it is really not, you have to weed yourself through all the fake ones. It is like when you open a door and it is full of horse shit, your thinking fuck there has to be a fucking horse somewhere in here. So you open a door and there is a room full of Doms you think one of them has to be real. You have to be able to think with a clear head. You have to have a plan in place before you start your search.

Fuck Collarme.com fuck ALT.com both of those are meat markets to men, and that is exactly what they think. Now are some real sure they are but very few and far between. You have to be willing not to settle for second best, and many times you get the feeling something is not right but you go right along with it. You continue to go along with it even though you feel something is wrong hoping your thoughts are wrong, and you know most of the time they are not.

If you do not live together you cannot truly know the fulfillment of living a D’s style relationship, to know what it is like waking up every morning with your Master, following his rules, his guidelines there is no way to experience it. The little you get while on the phone and it is phone sex mostly, the weekend out of a month if that, maybe a night or even just a couple of hours. You will most likely spend your Birthday alone, as with all of the holidays.

So no it is not that I am a minority , because there are plenty of me out there. It is just you the submissive or slave taking the time to weed thought the bad to get to the good. There are Dominants out there that will more than fit your needs. There are Dominants out there who will treat you with the respect you deserve, who will treat you as their princess.

For you Doms in the lifestyle for a while, just learning or the Fifty Shades, if you play your cards right, the submissive is for your taking. They want to be used and used on a regular basis, nothing brings more pleasure to a submissive to be used. Some of you guys just kill me.

Lady’s all you need is a plan.

Image

Vile

 

 

Training And Fear And Fucking

Posted in Adapt, Aftercare, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Face Fucking, Fear, fucking, gagging, Giving Head, Golden showers, Honesty, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Lie, Master, Mind Fuck, My Bitch, oral sex, piss, Protocol, punish, Punishment, Rough Sex, Rules, Scared, Security, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Task, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, use your submissive, whore on December 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The first ninety days is the most important when it comes to training. I myself thing that once you put a plan together it is very important to stick to it.

The fear comes from the submissive, the not knowing what is going to happen, more so not knowing what to expect. There may be a little fear within the submissive not knowing if they will please or be able to meet your standards.

Training day begins I do not share anything, I do not give any ideas about what I am going to do. Just like I explained to Arianna watch and listen. That is all you really have to do.

Remember the Submissive will adapt to their new surroundings, and most will without question as long as you the Dominant keeps your word.

If you are new to the lifestyle the first ninety days will tell you if you really want to be part of a D’s relationship, in some cases it may take less than a week.

The first ninety days I gave no punishment, we were actually almost six months into our relationship before I had to punish Arianna. As a punishment I do not believe in spanking, because most who are submissive enjoy being spanked, so what is the point in doing something they enjoy when you punish. Arianna on the other hand is not into pain at all, so I decided that my best approach was to spank and I set that ass on fire. .

During the first ninety days a lot of positive reinforcement is needed, the idea is not to break down, but to build up. We want to point out the good, but we also need to correct when something is not done correctly. A firm voice without yelling or humiliating . The fear factor comes into play.

Your plan you must stick to exactly what you have planned, if you try to change things up you as the Dominant can get distracted, and may cause a little confusion.

The truth and always the truth, the first thing we tell a submissive is to always be truthful, never lie and always be upfront. If we cannot abide by the truth we cannot expect the submissive to. If we lie how can we expect the submissive to always be truthful. Once you gain their trust, that is the easy part, the hard part is keeping it. Once you break that trust you can almost never get it back.

I only started out with 4 rules as we progressed I added a few more. Handing someone a page full of rules, can really cause confusion, and again fear, the fear of forgetting. Some Dominants will hand out 25 maybe 50 rules and say you have to memorize each and everyone. Ask him if he knows them word for word, if not why or how could he expect you to. Rules are meant to give structure, and guidance. Rules are meant to be a reference for daily life.. If you give out to many at one time, the submissive will become overwhelmed , and feel like they are being set up for failure. Also rules we take bad habits and turn them into good ones. If you do this in a short time the Dominant will see a great improvement in any areas that needed work.

I was talking to a Submissive on the phone a couple of weeks ago, her and her Daddy Dom had split. When she broke a rule he would not punish, so there were no consequences for her actions, he was more worried what was for dinner.

I have found from past experiences if you do not stand by what you say and do what you mean you can lose control, again once you start to lose that control it is impossible to regain again. You cannot sit there and say I will change because it is to late. I changed because I let my feelings get in the way when it came to punishing or enforcing rules. I had a huge guilty feeling come over me and I no longer wanted to punish. In the end I lost control. Keeping our word is very important.

Arianna has daily task that has to be completed just like this am a list was completed and I will go through it and either keep it the way it is or I will veto if I feel she has put to much on herself. She has had a rough couple of days emotionally so I stepped in and helped out a little, yea I did dishes, cooked breakfast. Eggs bacon and sausage. I made her watch as I put three eggs into the frying pan and I flipped her without breaking a yoke. I broke one of mine so one out of six is not bad. Dinner I made a taco salad. We should step in at times and take some of the weight off of their shoulders. I like to show my appreciation.

From time to time I believe a little fear is needed, just like a little humiliation is needed. Sometimes the submissive starts to lose that feeling of submission, so we want to put them back in that mode..

Not long ago we were in our Den watching TV , Arianna was nude, I was on the couch she was on the floor, just looking at her drove me crazy. So I told her to spread, and she has these huge lips that look like butterfly lips that just makes me go bonkers. I stood up undressed crawled on top and just started fucking her as hard as I could. I wrapped my hand around her throat, and told her she was my whore, she was my cunt, but I had changed my voice up a little deeper , slower and I could see this look in her eyes. I told her to fuck me back and push, when she pushes I can feel her pussy grip my cock, and then her rocking her hips just WOW.

So I got up pulled her up by her hair and shoved my cock in her mouth  and started face fucking her, one hand one her chin and the other on the top of her head, pushing my cock in as as far as it would go.. Calling her my bitch, my whore, telling her that I owned her. After a few minutes I grabbed her by her hair again and pulled her into the kitchen bending her over the trash can and back in her pussy, I fucked her for a few minutes then I slipped it out and right into her ass. One hand around her throat the other with a handful of hair I banged her as hard as I could until I dumped my load. I then grabbed her hair taking her to the bathroom put her on her knees and I pissed all over her Tits, then came the cold shower. To me golden showers shows that I own, ownership.

She was scared, she did not know how to take my actions. After it was all said and done came the aftercare which was truly needed. I believe aftercare is needed but at times I am not at my best. So I am trying tp improve in that area.

The change in my voice, the way I was fucking, really confused her, not knowing how to act or respond but she went along with what I wanted to do and how I used her. It is good to have sex, sex makes life good. On the other hand it is okay to just use your submissive. Sometimes I will tell Arianna to go to the bedroom and strip putting her on the bed pulling her to the edge, fuck her and tell her to get dressed. Using puts them in that submissive state of mind.

The mind fuck, last week we went out for Mexican we were both stuffed Arianna was in the bathroom washing up and I told her to hurry, I said I have the brown bath towel on the bed I was ready. Her first thoughts were oh god he is going to face fuck me and I am going to puke. She procrastinated  for a good ten minutes once she walked in the bedroom and she saw no towel the look in her eyes were priceless. The mind fuck can be a very powerful, you can mind fuck even when joking, keeps them thinking.

You can tell when your cared for as well, the hug the kiss the way someone listens when your talking, you can just tell. I was getting head and Arianna asked if I wanted to finish in her ass, I love those words Fuck my ass. I had other plans though, I told her to lay on her side her mouth on my cock and I started fucking just like I was pounding her pussy, her arms were moving in the air her legs were kicking, I stopped from time to time to allow her to breath then right back at it, until I blew my load. It is okay to use your property. There is a very pleasing feeling that comes across your submissive when they know they have pleased.

Never share what your training plan is about. slowly implement things on a daily basis, give small hands on test. Such as Once I thought Arianna was ready I invited a Dom and Slave to our home and she was in full service, I am not talking sexually. When they both set down she was standing legs shoulder width apart arms behind back waiting for instructions for drinks and dinner. When training you train to fit your needs and wants. The submissive you train to fit their needs, their wants come later. If you say no then mean no, if you say yes then mean yes.

A little fear can be good with the proper aftercare the same with a little humiliation.

Image It is okay to use her.

Vile

Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant

Posted in 128 Basic rules, 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Advice, anal sex, and Respect, Argue, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, Change, codependent, Collar, Collared Slave, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominants, Drama, emotional, Emotions, Fake Slaves, Fake submissive, fucking, Honesty, Humiliation, Kink, kinky, Master, needy, problems, punish, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive Brat, sucking cock, sucking dick, Train your slave, training your slave, Your Submissive Or Slave Is Not Compliant on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This happens all the time, I also here this all the time. The last was maybe I am not the Master for her or she needs more and I cannot give more.

Every Submissive is different , every Slave is different. Their minds, their thoughts , their needs, their actions. Each has a different level of needs. Some are real emotional , some are very needy, some become fully dependent on their Master, while others function very well outside of the home. Some need 24 hour care while some do not. Some need stricter rules, guidelines, protocols, while others do not.

Some act bratty , while most are very docile. Most are very quite and some are very out spoken.  Most are very Compliant , while some need a little more work.

Men who do not have a clue think owning a slave is about her sucking cock or just spreading her legs. Tying the slave up and just beating her ass until she cannot walk, and to a new submissive or slave these actions are exceptable. no questions asked until they start talking to other slave.

The key is getting to know the slave, knowing them as a person not just in the lifestyle. Knowing about their interest, hobby’s, the movies they enjoy, music. The foods they like. The Dominant should know the slave inside out.

Once this is achieved then you move on to different levels speaking about the lifestyle, a week or maybe more may of gone by before you should get into the kinks.

Let me tell you something, if you meet someone on line and after 20 minutes or so it turns to sex, he wants one thing and one thing only. That is your mouth or what is between your legs, and nothing more. The New Dom may hang on to you for eh 3 months 6 months but he will grow tired of you pretty fast. You will find out you will spend 90% of your time on your knees sucking dick, another 5% texting, and the other 5% being ignored

When another Dominant complains about how his slave is not compliant I just shake my head. If this is the case his game plan was way off from the start.

What rules you gave your last slave may not be the rules your new slave needs, or guideline as well as protocols. That is why it is very important to get to know your slave as a person , you have to become best friends. Because you are about to enter uncharted waters.

We as Dominants are looked up to, we are suppose to be leaders, we guide we share tons of information, but most we have to earn and gain the trust of the slave. We as Dominants should be able to adapt to most situations. Sometimes we may have to bend a little if we think a slave may be compatible in most areas that interest us.

The Slave will adapt to their new home, and most will adapt freely without question. We need to only provide a few things. Honesty , be truthful, teach and train , communication, and security. The slave will adapt.

Rules are put into place for improvement, rules are for the betterment of the slave. If more than half of your rules as a slave are about sex, what is it you are getting out of it ? How is you must worship my cock for the betterment of you ?

It is not that the slave is not compliant, the Dominant did not go into the relations with the right game plan, by the time you start to argue, yell call each other names it is way to late. You the Dominant has lost the game, pick up your duffel bag and move on.

You also hear it is the slaves fault , that bitch would not listen, I had no control over her. Ha that one word CONTROL I had no control over her. Now whose fault is that, certainly not the slaves, who was in charge? Who was the leader the Slave?

Another factor is if a slave enters a new relationship but she is afraid to end it, she will do things just to upset the dom, not follow rules back talk, act up, until the Dom has taken all he can. Still the slave is not to blame. I do suppose some could be just total bitches and give you a run for your money, push your buttons to see how far they can go. It is still up to the Dominant to remain in control, and stay in control.

If you have a bad temper, you scream, yell degrade when angry , how does that look to your slave. After all when you first met you painted a picture of total bliss, an island of peace, a paradise.

Some Slaves want to be broking , taken down to the lowest level of life and brought back up. I can tell you 10 years ago I may have been up to such a task but today nah not a chance. Before I met Arianna I was posed that question. I want you to break me. That is a great deal of responsibility  and I was not up to the task nor did I want to.

So when I hear the words I cannot control my slave or she is not compliant, I start asking questions, I get the same old answers, she is not real, she is just into head games , she is a joke to the lifestyle. Well it is not the slaves fault.

You the Dominants needs to be in control from the minute you speak your first words. You the Dominant sets the pace, you set the rules.

You cannot meet a slave on the first date and give her the almighty 128 rules and a collar. I see some old Doms using the 128 rules that some kid wrote 25 years ago, You must worship my cock, PLEASE.

Let me tell you something Arianna has 25 rules, she adds little things to her list frequently not rules but task. Every night when she ask permission to enter the bed she reads her rules then we talk, we talk about anything and everything. Last night was different we were laying in bed and I asked her what was on her mind. She said I thought we would go over the rules together, I looked kinda of confused and she handed me her phone, that is where her rules are. I said the first word of a rule and she was able to speak the whole rule without reading, and I just went down the line.

I have never told her she had to remember each one but to look at as a reference to read daily. That is how much she truly cares 25 rules recited almost word for word. Some of the rules are a paragraph long. In the rules I gave I explained everyone, I went into great detail about each rule, and she could recite each and everyone. I was in total shock, but I was proud.

If your Slave or Submissive is not compliant, look at your game.

Image I love this pic

Vile

Asking To Be Released

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anger, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Change, Collar, Collared Slave, Collars, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Dating, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Honesty, Lies, masochist, Master, oral sex, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick, Total Submission on November 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

You as a slave enter a relationship in hopes of being accepted for who you are, and are promised your needs would be met. It is very important when entering a new relationship that you be upfront about everything, and what you expect out of the relationship. Where you want to be in a month, three months a year and so on.

When you first meet a new Dominant you should take great care with the amount of information you give. You do not want to spill your whole life out on the table over your first meeting. Somethings are meant to be private until you really feel like you are truly getting to know someone.

Information such as a abusive childhood, maybe you suffer from depression, maybe you were raped. So the information you share is very important but on a need to know basis.

I am not sure what the reason is but most slaves just want to sit down and open their book of life when they first meet someone new. This could really have a bad effect on the new Dominant. One being to much information, he could prey on what weaknesses you have shared, or two it could be to over whelming, and he is thinking man fuck all of this.

Another thing that really bothers me is a lot of slaves think they have to fuck on their first meeting, maybe trying to prove their submission, or the willingness to please. This is so far from the truth, you just need to be you, be the person you are. No one can make you submit until you are ready.

In the vanilla world when you meet someone , you spend time getting to know each other, you talk on the phone, go out to eat, the movies. So why would you think a D’s or M’s relationship is any different.

BDSM is not about sex . BDSM is not about you having to spread to prove who and what you are. BONDAGE DISCIPLINE SADO, AND MASOCHISM. No where in those four words does it say you have to spread or get on your knees.

In those four words the key word is Discipline , most do not fall under the last two words at all. So lets put the Bondage and Discipline together , again it does not say anything about sucking cock.

You the Slave are really looking for very little out of a relationship. Your looking for security, someone who will take care of your needs, someone who cares about your thoughts, your emotions, and someone who understands you. Your looking for structure in your life, your looking for stability in your life, and most of all your looking for someone who is not abusive, and someone who is in full control.

A Dominant is in full control of his life public and private. We set the standards and like me my standards are very high. You should avoid the Dominant who is full of drama, the dominant who cannot control his anger, the dominant who cannot control his emotions, and then the dominant with the ex problems.  A Dominant leads by example, that is how our respect is earned our respect is earned by all of the above I have mentioned.

I understand where a submissive or slave is coming from more so from those who are single. Most slaves are very needy, and being needy does not make you weak. The needy factor is a natural feeling, but you need to learn how to control those feelings until you are sure you are with the right one.

I myself prefer someone who is needy, someone who is depends on me. I am an attention hound. I like being the center of attention. Most Dominants I believe prefer someone who is needy, someone who is open, and someone who is able to communicate.

We are all different, we all have different needs. You notice I have not said anything about wants. I could careless about your wants because if your needs are met, and met on a daily basis guess what ? You do not have any wants.

I am far from perfect and I will admit I do make mistakes, but any mistake I make is far and few between. I think on a rational level, I look at both the choices and consequences. I look at every angel and everything that could go right or wrong, then I make a decision on my next move.

You as a slave have rights, you as a submissive has rights. You have the right to make demands if your needs are not being met. You have the right to speak up. Because if you do not speak up, you will spend the majority of your time on your knees or on your back.

Why am I sharing all of this information with you? Because I myself have been there, I have used, I have played on emotions just to get my dick sucked. I have played on emotions just to get some pussy and it is not very hard. I got what I wanted washed my hands and walked out. So now I am trying to make things right, in my own way I suppose. Emotions that is a very powerful weapon that can and will be used against you and any problems you have shared, a very powerful tool.

The Collar, the collar is to me very symbolic it has more of a meaning that a wedding ring. Accepting a collar you are submitting , you are giving yourself as a whole. So you have to have a clear understanding of what you are doing and what you are going to be giving up.

It is very important to ask questions, if your answer is not clear ask the same question in a different format, until you get the answer you need. You need to have a clear understanding where your new Dominant is coming from, because if you do not ask, and down the road you now have questions it could be to late because he is not going to change. I myself would never change.

If you are made promises from the beginning , you are explained how the relationship is going to work and what is expected, what your role is going to be then you need to make sure that path is followed. A Dominant cannot change rules midstream to fit his needs or wants.

You have the right to ask to be released, and you explain why your asking, and also explain that the relationship is not what was promised from the beginning.

Then comes the guilt trip, now everything is going to fall on your plate, it is your fault the relationship did not work. You are not a true submissive or slave. The relationship fell apart because of you and only you.

Well that statement could be true, but who was the one in charge? who was the one who was suppose to be in full control ? Who was the one who wanted to lead and you follow ? Who was the one who promised your needs would be met no matter what ? Because your relationship ends does not mean it was your fault.

If a man is abusive and he hits you, he is going to promise never to do it again, but he will, again and again and again, but he will continue to promise and he will promise to change.

Do not let yourself be abused, be it mental or physical.

If you are told one thing and down the road the Dominant wants to change things up. Lets say he told you he wanted a one on one relationship. Now he comes up and says I would like to have a threesome or even move someone else in. This is not what you were told from the start. In my eyes this is something that was planned all along, just waiting for the right moment. You have the right to refuse. Your goal is to always be number one, in my eyes anyway. If the topic of moving someone else in he had better have a good explanation as to why,and why he thinks it is needed. I believe most slaves do not want to share but do so just to please. I would not want that kind of guilt on me.

Shrugs just my thoughts and opinion.

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Vile

Change Never Works

Posted in 24/7, A Second Chance, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Change, change never works, Cheat, Cheaters, cheating, Dominants, Honesty, infidelity, Kink, kinky, Lie, Marriage, married, Married Dominant, Married submissive, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick on November 20, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

That statement is so true , I am speaking of trying to change lifestyle’s. Some change is good and can be beneficial under the right conditions.

I know some 16 years ago I felt like I needed a change. I was at Bush Gardens in Tampa Florida one day sitting down just chilling , watching all these family’s walk by, and I started thinking man I am missing out on some shit here. The wife, kid, white picket fence, a little ankle biter roaming the yard, cooking out with the smith’s.

I did just that it was not three months and I was married, it took me about a month to come to my senses , VILE my man you have truly fucked up, you acted without thinking, and now you must pay dearly because you got the bitch knocked up. You did it so make it work.

I never should of went to Bush Gardens, should of went to a Titty Bar instead, not sure why I went, I prefer Universal anyway. My ex was not bad looking small petite frame, yea that is about it. So I started to make my exit and she informed me she was pregnant. Fuck me man how much worse could things get ?

Well I stuck it out for nine years, and during that nine years I remained loyal to a T. So after eight years or so I had to come clean I could not take the Smith’s next door any longer, and I was asked to leave. Since then I have paid child support every week and have never missed a payment. I do see my son, not as often as I would like, but we have a good relationship going. There is no drama between my Ex and I or my current wife and Slave.

What I am getting at you can go from Vanilla to a D’s relationship and then back , but I do not think you can go from a D’s relationship to a Vanilla, talk about fucking culture shock.

If you are not happy with your current relationship get the fuck out, even more so if your fucking around. Okay when it comes to women I can somewhat understand the fucking around part. Women tend to be more sensitive than men, women need more attention than men, women are abused more than men, still if your not happy kids or no kids just make an exit.

Men in general are DOGS most will fuck your sister if giving the chance and hope you invite her over for dinner. Men are sexual predators. I remember being over at my ex mother inlaw’s and when she was talking to me, all I was thinking man those Tits have got to be fake, and sure enough they were store bought Tittys.

Finding the right partner from the start, finding someone your compatible with, someone who is open to new things. If you know head and ass is off limits it may not bother you at that moment and time, but six months or a year down the road you will have to have one of them, the answer will still be no, then guess what. Your doing your wife’s sister.

Change never works, not when it comes to a relationship.

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Vile

Our fetishes

Posted in 24/7, Acceptance, Adult Baby, Alt.com, Arianna, Ass, Baby Girl, bdsm, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Discipline, Dominants, FaceBook, Fake Dominants, Fake submissive, Fetish, fetlife, Foot Fetish, Foot Worship, Honesty, Kink, kinky, Master, Mini Skirts, Old Guard, Old Leather Guard, Pony Girl, pony play, puppy play, pussy, rimming, self confidence, Self-Discipline, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive on November 5, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

We all have our own fetishes, even if we do not admit it. We all get off on certain things, and at times our minds are more kinkier than we want to act out.

In our lifestyle we should never look down on someone because of their kinks or fetishes, we may not understand them, but it goes the other way as well someone else may not understand us.

When first meeting someone, there are somethings that are not best to share to soon. You should be careful with what information you give. One it could blow the whole thing, or two it could be used as ammunition later down the road when things go bad.

I have a bad ass fetish , I love to look, touch grab. Most of all I love anal sex, to me anal sex is the most submissive act there is, the most private part on the female body.

I have a short skirt fetish, I have almost broke my neck turning to fast to catch another glimpse. I am also a leg man I love a nice pair of legs, although they do look better on my shoulders.

The BDSM community has grown so much over the past 10 years or so, finely there was a place where people could be excepted and not be judged, or is that statement true ?

If you travel back in time to the late 60’s 70’s the Leather Guard Master And Slave, there were no Submissive. Then in the late 80’s and 90’s there was an explosion, the internet was a game changer people came to life, we could finely be who we needed to be.

Now you have puppy play , pony play , Daddy Dom and Baby Girl . Rubber fetishes , the list just goes on and on. We can be free and not be judged or is that statement really true ?

We are judged by the same people who live our lifestyle , we are judged by the ones who do not want to be judged. Why is this ? Because everyone has to be right.

That Master does not know what he is doing, or that Master is a FAKE , that Master cannot control his Slave, Or the best one is that Master cannot be real because he will not share.  Yea Ive heard that one before.

So when you first meet someone a Master meeting a new Submissive or Slave, a Submissive or Slave meeting a new Master you have to lay everything out on the table, but wait. Yes there is a BUT. These things should not be shared on the first meeting eh maybe even the second meeting. You should want to become friends first and for most.  Even when chatting and getting to know each other the topic of BDSM or limits or sex should not come up. If this does ladies you are just a piece of ass, and nothing more. I want to know you as a person, I want to become your best friend. Once you have got past that stage, then you lay your cards out, because if you do not, 3 months 6 months down the road these so called fetishes comes to light and guess what your partner is not game.

We as Dominant are suppose to be a different breed of men. We are secure by nature, we are not controlling by nature, we are self sufficient by nature, we are calm by nature. We indeed are a different breed. So if this is the case why do we not except others for who they are.  Every Dominant is different we all train different we all expect different things out of our relationship, we all have different goals, we all have different needs. .

Okay now there are a few good books out there for the BDSM lifestyle Master and Slave, but these books are one mans opinion, or a Slaves opinion. I am not to say what they believe is wrong or right, what they do works just fine for them. What I do works for me and Arianna.

I will tell you ladies something if you want to meet a real Slave meet mine Arianna, She can give you the definition of what living a Slaves life is all about. The one thing is we had an agreement prior to entering a relationship. She showed me her card I showed mine, there was no Bullshit. I will tell you this I do not negotiate, it is my way and my way only.  This does not mean I do not ask her for her opinion because I do. If there are any major decisions to be made we talk. Arianna is not a Doormat , nor is she stupid.

Be honest and upfront if someone does not like what you have to say, or they say no way would I think about doing that do not give in stand your ground. Be who you are and who you need to be.

Today we have a large number of BDSM site’s Collarme.com. More of a spam site, ALT.com use to because now you can only find Nigerian  slaves , you have FaceBook which can be awesome, and who could forget FetLife, every fucking kink in the world and you are not Bombed with spam.

Image I do have an Ass Fetish

Vile