Archive for the http://bestslavetraining.com/ Category

Evaluating A slave’s performance based on service

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM and Goals, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, Evaluating A slave’s performance, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Slave Contract, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on November 27, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something that pops up in my mind from time to time , I suppose its something like a evaluation report you would receive from your employer. This is something Ive never discussed with Arianna or Lynn as I really saw no need.

I have stated before if you are new to the lifestyle one of the best resources is http://bestslavetraining.com One of the first sites about the lifestyle and still going strong today. Also on fetlife Best Slave Training a very active group with good topics and discussions.

My evaluations are more mental and a way to see if I need to make any changes or maybe cover something in general conversation. Instead of just asking a point blank question , its usually whats on your mind? When asking a direct question such as , Whats wrong? When asking whats wrong it puts up a defensive wall many times causing someone to shut down. Then comes the guy who demands to know whats wrong when there is really nothing wrong and its world war 3.

I look at a couple of areas one is following my rules and the willingness to follow, two following protocols , three communicating , four making sure my needs are met in service and sexually.

Behavior public and private , I have set protocols for both and I expect them to be followed. Having rules that are written down makes a easy guide. Every night before bed Arianna reads her rule , that is the last thing she does before turning out her light.

The state of mind. The willingness to take on different task when asked without prior planning. The wanting to complete all task when assigned without question. Showing her loyalty to slavery both public and private.

The following is from.. http://bestslavetraining.com

Observable objective of slave training that can be evaluated – service:

The observable objective of slave training is proper service. A Master can only truly judge a slave by what his five senses reveal to him. Try as he may, he is unable to completely see into his slave’s mind and heart. This is one thing he must accept and be honest with him about. He can’t hear her thoughts or feel the emotions a slave feels. He can only observe her behavior and come to a conclusion about what he sees. Demonstrating proper behavior is the best way a slave shows her state of mind to her Master.

If you the Master feels you need to move in a different direction then having something on paper is the best way to go. We as humans are visual we take in the information we are looking at. Having something as a reference , something to look back on so the slave is able to take everything in. This also allows the slave to ask questions if there are any concerns or to just verify something.

The training of a slave is like reprogramming someones mind, for instance Arianna does not use the words I or Me, the words are replaced with your slave. When speaking with others she uses she or this slave. You train how you the Master expects the slave to act in public and private.

My evaluations have always been private to me and I have never sat either girl down and said hey here is your yearly eval.

I have rules in place for a reason as with protocols , this does not mean they are written in stone , I may see something needs to be adjusted but I will never change , I will never take a rule away unless I see it is no longer useful. I may add to a rule or stricter protocols but protocols are something I will never take away , add yes take away no.

My evaluation has been silent , and making adjustments when needed. It is not that there have been a lot of changes but change can be good. You may see you are getting into a routine and changes are needed to break up the everyday norm.

Part of my protocols are dress , how both girls are dressed when out. I myself dress nice, 99% of the time a nice button shirt and nice jeans, my shoes are off the chart. I hate to admit it but I have a shoe fetish. Both girls look like a million dollars when out. I take pride in my property. The slave is a direct reflection of their owner , this includes how one acts , speaks , walks , eats and dresses.

So my final grades I am going to keep to myself for now , not that there is anything that is bad or anything that needs improvement because right now life is Awesome.

You do not have to do everything I say , you do not have to believe in my tactics , or my training process , but I can tell you it works for me.

I am living the dream , a life with zero arguing , zero drama and zero problems. My house runs like a fine tuned machine. The girls do not argue either both communicate all the time.

Communication is very important. Dinner time no cell phones are allowed this is the time to talk. This is the time to speak about concerns this is the girls free time to speak.

This is a short blog more so than usual but I have been working on a new project. Hypnosis , I spoke about this a couple of years ago but now it is balls to the wall..

Vile

 

 

 

 

Journals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, exploring your slave, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Rules, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Train your slave with tags , , , , on November 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

A peak into someones mind , their deepest inner thoughts. How they view life and the world , friends , family , the world. Personal feelings are shared good and bad. Thoughts are shared on the deepest level , and most times Journals are never meant to be read. Journals are a safe haven where one can go and at some point and time in life , they are able to pickup and read again and reflect about life.

The Journals can be a great advantage if read by a partner or a potential partner , unlike just sitting and talking , reading gives us a greater insight on how one thinks, what makes them tick, what is going on inside their head.

Many Dominants when entering a relationship will demand the submissive start writing a journal and many times not even reading. The Journal that is being written for the most is not real. What is being wrote is what the Dominant wants to hear again if its even read.

Seeking ones submission is about getting into their mind , what makes the submissive think the way they do? How life is viewed ? How they feel on a personal level? How they view family and friends? Most of the time the Journal has little to nothing to do with sex , which when a Dominant demands a journal sex has to be included. He wants to know your deepest thoughts when it comes to sex , to include any fantasies , limits hard and soft and why?

I was lucky when Arianna and I first met , she moved in with me relatively fast , I believe it was within the first 6 weeks of meeting. Yes it does seem fast but sometimes you just know.

One day I got nosy and started going through some of Arianna’s boxes and low and behold I found a box that contained Magic. Pulling the note books out I had stumbled across around 18 years of journals. Now at this time Arianna’s training had already begun and we were into about week 2 of training of the 90 days initial training so still a long way to go.

Who cares about the Pussy or if the submissive takes it up the ass or if they swallow. Sex should be on the back burner. What I have mentioned about sex that is part of training as well but there should be other goals in mind after all the Dominant is seeking complete control and ownership. You can train someone to suck your dick to your liking or fuck the way you like to fuck , but lets get in the mind.

You would think a potential Dom/Master would care enough to take a peak inside your life. You would think they would care enough to see where you are coming from. Knowing your habits , your likes/dislikes.

Prior to any type of training the one who is training must have a clear understanding of the one who is being trained.  The Dominant can lay out some pretty basic rules , such as bedtime , texting , emails all of which are forming habits , habits the Dominant may find useful but to dig in to some real deep training the Dominant has to know you inside and out.

Once inside the mind the Dominant has full control providing they do nothing stupid. Making unrealistic demands such as pics from work , or demanding nude videos if the submissive is not comfortable doing so. There is a fine line between something that is Ok to something that is just downright stupid.

Training is a form of Hypnosis , not only protocols but rules and followed are suggestions. Suggestions go a long way when training and note mistakes are going to be made , a lot of mistakes are going to be made and there should be room for error. As much as we would like to say we are perfect we are far from it.

If there are no journals on hand make a suggestion to start a journal , by making a suggestion there is no pressure for the submissive to start one. If they really care then the typing will begin or old school by writing. If the submissive does not care then your suggestion will go nowhere.

Once you the Dominants thinks you have a pretty good feeling about knowing your potential partner and you feel you have the ground work to begin training then move into the sexual area , note try staying away from limits asking one what their limits are really has no meaning because limits change over time , limits change with different partners , of course there are those hard unthinkable limits and we all know those.

Moving into the sex area of the journal to include fantasies , for the most fantasies are just that. Just because the submissive states she has a fantasy about being with another girl it may be just that a fantasy. If the submissive wants to be with another girl you can be sure she will bring it up.

The journal , what does one hope to get out of a D’s or M’s relationship ? Many are able to express more on paper than speaking face to face. Many are able to share deeper feelings than face to face.

Sit down with the submissive once you have read and outline parts that draws a interest and discuss what has been written. Once you bring out the information that has been provided then the submissive will feel as though they can open up after all you are sitting there holding the words that were written.

This now opens the door to sex and other kinks and yes fantasies. Now lets talk about bondage and maybe explore pain , sub-space.

After you have gotten into the mind the submissive will begin to open doors that were once locked.

Check out bestslavetraining.com This is an awesome guide to training your slave and good for new Dominants..

Vile

 

Submission Is A Mindset

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, Bestslavetraining.com, cock sucking, communication, FaceBook Vile Woods, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on September 15, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Wow we just recovered from a category 3 Hurricane , what a mess. I slept through most of it , Arianna on the bed looking out of the window with a flash light, only waking me when we lost power so we could set everything up for our salt water aquarium. Lynn was away taking care of a dear friend. The good thing is we now have power back but I did miss a few days of work. Arianna had a rough couple of days a work helping to get everything back in working order, she sent me a screen shot of her health app and by days in had walked over 21.000 steps or roughly 7 miles. Our house has gas so we were able to cook and yes I had fucking coffee. As soon as the winds died down I busted out my grill.. Ahhhh my 1977 Grand Prix was locked away in the garage , but my insurance company had already contacted me before the storm, how fucking awesome is that?

Now to the story

 

There is no one definition when it comes to the word submission , or even a Slave. It does not matter who or what you are you will not find the same pair of shoes or the same size..

Every Dominant is different , every Master is different so there is no comparison, same thing with the shoes all are different and no two pair are the same.

Defining your Submission can only be done by you , you know who and what you are. Even if your exploring you still have a good idea.

Training most in the BDSM community do not take that word very seriously  it may come up but will quickly pass or something may start but then fad very fast, but you the submissive are caught up in the heat of the moment and probably will not even notice.

Mo

The same with a Dominant or a Master we know who we are , we are the one who defines who we are and what type of relationship we are looking for. I spent years looking for that perfect shoe size.

When my relationships did not work in the past I put the blame on the submissive. She was not really a submissive , she was fake , she was to dumb to follow direction. That was was so far from the truth , it was my fault , I was focused more on the sex side of things and the physical play and not the control.

Asking the right questions when meeting a new sub or slave, showing a true interest in what is said.  We hear but do we listen ? Do we process the information that is giving ? Are we taking mental notes ? If you are considering the submissive as a potential partner are you coming up with a game plan as words are spoken?

Getting in ones head , processing their thoughts , figuring out how and why the sub or Slave thinks the way they do. If you do not know someone you cannot train someone.

Ask yourself this question does your dominant know your favorite color? Does he know what type of music you like, movies, food , your birthday? Does he know your brothers name , your sisters or parents names?

The mindset , your mind not your heart needs to want to give up control. I am not speaking of all because there are actually very few in our lifestyle who want to live a D’s Or M’s lifestyle , most again is just kink related , dom and sub while in the bedroom. Once your mind is in place and you have connected with the right one your heart will follow allowing your submission to grow.

Been around for more than a decade one of the best sites for information to date is http://bestslavetraining.com . There are books , there are articles that are written but what you are looking for is a guide , a guide that will lead you in the right direction. Books are and can be good but you are reading what has worked for someone else. This would not be the case for you. What works for me will not work for you.. However you can take ideas and experiment and maybe implement some things..

Capture the mind , you can rule the world , her world , your world. Capture the mind you capture the whole state of her submission. Capture the mind , and you capture the body and mind. Capture the mind and you capture the respect. Capture the mind and she will follow as you lead.

Knowing your limits , knowing where you stand when it comes to play and your body. Negotiations are very important when entering a relationship. This is not something that should take place in one setting. Mean what you say and say what you mean and stick to it.

Saying the word NO for some is very hard but it is a must at times. Even when it comes to friends. Friends will reach out to someone who cannot say the word NO more so than others and many times you get nothing in return. If you do not agree with something then say NO. You do not submit until both have to to some kind of agreement.

Put your limits on the table including the ones your not sure of and the ones you are willing to explore. Be smart but most of all be safe , think smart and logical , keeping your head clear with make you able to make the right decisions.

Your submission is a mindset , your feelings , your needs , you as a whole a mindset.

You and only you know what your needs are , you and only you control your own destiny.

I want to thank each and everyone of you who stop by. If there is a topic you would like for me to touch on just let me know…

Much Love

Vile

Married And Interested In BDSM

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Couples New To BDSM, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, relationships, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , on August 21, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Stepping into the lifestyle and being a vanilla couple can be challenging but it can be obtained. I am not speaking of the Dom/sub bedroom only I am speaking of making a huge step into a total different world. The longer you are married the more difficult it will prove to be. The main reason is you already know each other inside and out. You will both need to do hours , days and months of research. Try your best to keep from speaking to others until you both think you have found your place. If you start trying to listening to others it can become confusing because everybody is different , and what works for one couple will not work for another.

Who will take on the Dominant role? Who will take on the Submissive role? Either way both have to decide just how much control one wants to give up and the other how much control one wants to take on.  Are you both looking at Dominant /Submissive , Master and Slave , Daddy/Baby girl who fits where and why?

This is when the time comes to sit down and just start talking crazy, all of those kinky thoughts you have had but you’ve been afraid to say anything in fear of what your partners thoughts might be. The best way is to write everything down a list 1 to 10 starting with the ones you are most interested in. As you bring each subject up talk about it and why you like it or may like it. This is when your fantasy’s come out but you have always been afraid to bring those up.

In my years I have found men are the ones who are most resistant to any kinky ideas and most do not want added responsibility. This is due to the wife cooking , cleaning house , laundry , grocery shopping , paying all the bills , and if you have kids taking care of them.

Some years ago I would only see married women , and there was no sex involved at all. Ranging anywhere from early 30’s to mid 60’s. What took place was bondage , some lite spanking , a lot of humiliation , oh did I mention head , I got a lot of head but according to congress here in the US , oral sex is not sex. You did not think I would take time out of my day and get nothing out of it did you? The bottom line is each Submissive I met had a couple of things in common. One a lack of communication. Two they women were afraid of bringing the topic up. Three when their kink was talked about they were told they were sick get over it.

Discussing what direction you both want to go and again just how far. Our lifestyle is so diverse , there is no end and we are all different. What some may call a D’s relationship others may call it just kink , or while others may call it extreme.

Allow mistakes to happen because they will , you will probably spend hours and hours talking about the progression and the mistakes. There is no need to get discouraged , the important thing is to learn from your mistakes. Allow growth and explore and take notes and talk about things you do not like or your not will to do , put limits in place.

Get out in the community , go to local events there will be a lot you can learn especially when it comes to play , rope but most important impact play, safety is very important.

It is a long road but can be very exciting and the growing never ends… A lot of couples talk but do not talk openly , a lot are not able to share their feelings or thoughts in fear of the reaction they will get.

Why do people cheat ? They cheat because there is something they are missing, and it can be something as simple as communication , a lack of attention , maybe the sex needs to be worked on. Most see see sex as a one way street. With men however the cheating has to do with sex. The wife wont give head or is against anal sex , or maybe just kink. This is why communication is so important. Most people think its easier to just walk away instead of fixing something.. All you have to do is pack up and start all over and most of the time you leave with less than what you started with.

You both may seem lost at times , you may see yourself struggling , but if you both stay vigilant your world will rock.

A good source for information

bestslavetraining.com

Vile

 

A Slave Needs Down Time

Posted in abuse, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, Dominant and Submissive, fucking and sucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Insecure Dominants, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Self Pity, Slave, Submission, Submissive, submissive or slave has rights, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , on April 18, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at a munch 3 or 4 months ago there was a topic on relationships , the different types of Doms and submissive’s. Asking Arianna what type of Master I was she said I was like the Rock star , meaning the way I am treated.

Speaking with someone else the topic come up about men helping around the house and I said I do stuff. I was then asked what I did and my mind went blank.

Think Vile , my mind was going crazy and I came back I just do stuff ok drop it. Driving home with Arianna and Lynn , just out of the blue I said I do stuff ,Arianna replied yes you do Master.

On my days off I love cooking , when I cook it is something special , I generally spend the day preparing and cooking. So yes I do stuff leave me alone.

Then we turn the page and we look into our submissive’s life our slave , our property. If you the Dominant would just take a moment and sit down and reflect on just how much your submissive does and gives it might just give you a different perspective.

We want everything just right, we want everything in place, we want our glass full at all times. Then comes the kink , the bondage , fucking , getting head. We use when we want , how we want , where we want.  With me my sex life is like HBO on demand , I take when I want anyway I want, at anytime I want and any hole. We as Masters want to be able to snap our fingers and BOOM its done. We want rules followed , protocols , and we punish when something goes wrong.

Arianna and Lynn has a calendar and it is filled out daily I keep track of everything. There are also request days , usually a month out. These are days I give for both to be able to go out and let go , relax , clear their heads.

One of the most important is family , I am Master but family comes first no questions asked. Friends come into play everybody needs friends and our property deserves that time.

There is a breaking point , kinda like running a race horse till it drops, not giving it any down time , running it into the ground until it just drops. You stand above wondering what happened.

I need down time , I need to be able to clear my head , I need to relax , sit down and blog while jamming out to AC/DC Live at the river plate. Pouring myself a nice brandy firing up a good cigar on the back porch..

I am not meaning to get under anyone’s collar but to keep your property locked up 24/7 is not fair and if you do there will come a time when you wake up alone. It is not fair to keep your property from their family and friends.

There are only a few types of Dominants who would not allow downtime , free time, time to see family or friends. You are talking one day a month really and you are that concerned ?

The Master is insecure , the Master is controlling , the Master does not trust. The Master has a ego problem. I am going to guess it is the first being insecure.  Being insecure can cause a lot of problems down the road again your property is going to take only so much.

We want our dick sucked on demand , we tell to spread not ask , bend over I want the ass. We use different object , toys really anything we want. So why is it not fair to give that down time?

I control everything , hair color , hair length , nail polish , fuck even makeup. I control what both wear , I control shoes , everything is on my dime, everything is on Viles watch , Viles time.

I am secure , I trust , if I cant trust I don’t need you. If you fuck around you need to make sure he is the one you want because that is who you will be living with.

If you cannot trust why in the fuck would you of even entered a relationship? It makes no fucking sense to be spending so much time wondering who your property is fucking or blowing. If the cheat you know , you have to know if you know your slave .

If you are taking care of business you have no worries. If you are insecure , if you do not trust , if you keep locked up 24/7 then you have something to worry about. It is not a question of how or why it is a question of when. There will come a time when your slave says fuck this shit I am done.

You the Master wants 100% at all times no questions asked , the bad news is we as Masters have to give back 200%, yup we have to give back more than we take.

Keep pushing that button and one day the spring will break and you will have to replace it…  Keeping someone locked up 24/7 is abuse, you might as well beat their ass. If you are insecure works on your issues figure out what is wrong… Do not make your property suffer because you have short Cummings….

 

The Slave

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Online Relationships, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, blow job, cock sucking, codependency, codependent, commitment, communication, consequences, Dominant and Submissive, Ego, Face Fucking, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Kink, Low Self Esteem, masochist, Master And Slave, Online Dominants, owned property, Owned Slave, Poly Triad, Private Protocol, Punishment, self confidence, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , , , , on April 9, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sitting here listening to Bret Michael’s jamming with friends , and it fucking rocks. Music is a passion of mine , it is my release , it is my time to chill , gather my thoughts , enjoy my own little world.  Ted Nugent , KISS , Aerosmith , and some country at the top of my list Kid Rock. I love the cheesy kung fu movies that comes on Thursday nights. I am a huge news fanatic so if there is something you want to know just ask.

I am very laid back for the most , I have never raised my voice or lost my temper towards my property. This is not to say I am a push over because I am not , I speak my mind no matter where I am or who I am with.

I am a Buddhist , I have learned to channel my anger but as with any man or human there is a limit. At one time I had a very bad temper , I drank a lot , you could hand me a bunch of pills  and I would not even ask what they were I would just take them. I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but I failed. I would smoke and someone would just grow more. I was on a down hill spiral with not a care about tomorrow or the future.

A Dom who has a temper is not a Dom he is a abuser and nothing more. A man who hits a woman out of anger is a pussy because he will not hit anyone who will not fight back. A Dom who will not allow you to ask questions and want answers is not a Dom. A Dom who does not allow open communication is not a Dom…

However that road of destruction ended around November 1986. October and November I lost my first two jobs after my exit from the US Army. I went cold turkey I stopped everything at one time not looking back… I thought for sure I would of had some type of withdraws but that was not the case, however I did lose most of my friends or I assumed they were friends…

At this time I was living in a small town called canton Ga. It had changed a lot being gone for ten years. Most of the people I knew had moved or changed so much we no longer had anything in common…

My Dominance is a gift and I mean that. A gift means I am taking time out of my life and offering a gift. My gift I am setting my time and life to the side and offering you security , I am offering a sanctuary of peace no drama , no arguing . I am offering you respect , I am offering you me. I am offering you a open door 24/7 , I am offering you communication 24/7. I am offering you stability , I am offering you protection. I will allow you to grow and I will conform to your needs. I will take the time out of my life to train you to fit my needs. I will not take advantage of you , I will not mislead you , I will admit my mistakes. I will offer more than I take but most of all I will always put you first.

Wow! looking over the list and it could of continued I am sure with enough thought. I just wanted to crack the door open and let people take a peak inside.

Both dominance and submission is a gift both have much to offer and prove. I am of course speaking of the beginning steps in a new relationship.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Master/slave_(BDSM)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.

I am at a later date going to speak about our triad , we now live as three and while there could be some improvement things are really going well. My time training is limited due to my work but Arianna has stepped up to the plate and is offering guidance .

The Slave has a different mindset than a submissive. A submissive can and has the right to say NO. The submissive can impose limits on the relationship. The submissive can have the choice of when and when not to submit.

The word Slave , the word ownership , the word property. We all know owning a slave is not in any way legal but it is a mindset. The slave kneels holds her hands out and says I am yours to take and use.

You have to want it , you have to need and crave, it has to be in your blood. You have to live, dream and walk with this deep need and desire.

Arianna is a very unique Slave , during her training there was no rejection , there was no resistance, I could see in her eyes she had a hunger. To this day she continues to seek ways to submit more to give more. Everyday I grow with her everyday my respect grows. As my needs change Arianna conforms , but as she changes I conform to meet her needs.

Giving yourself without a thought having that feeling of being completely owned. Willing to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. Being used as a sexual object at the drop of a hat. You can be loved but in the end you are owned property.

Now I sit looking back over the years and thinking about the transformation , thinking about the growth. Watching someones habits change, watching needs change. More than willing to follow rules , protocols and understand there are consequences for her actions. To this day Arianna continues to search and find ways to submit more , she has that need, it is something she craves.

You the Slave must be in the right frame of mind and have a understanding what is about to take place. You must be willing to have over your mind and body and be willing to hand over complete control without question.

Are you Domestic more service orientated ? Are you just going to be used sexually ? Are you a Masochist used for pain? Or are you a mixture of all rolled into one?

You also must be giving a clear understanding what is expected of you , what your training will consist of , how long your training will be. You will want to know what the final goal is.

Trust is the main factor in building a Master / Slave relationship. The slave knowing once she or he agrees to the terms negotiated during the process.

You have to know most of your rights will be stripped away from you. You must know you and your body will be used , without warning. You will be taken when and how your Master chooses.

However and there is a however , you should still be allowed to see friends and family , a slave needs what I call down time. A time to relax and breath , to be able to clear the mind. A time to reflect on past and future.

We as Masters and Dominants take and we must give back more than we take. Probably two or three times a week I tell both Arianna and L that I really appreciate everything they both do. At time I do help out as well. On my days off I cook and at times I even jump in and do a few dishes.

A Slave is not your maid although the slave will be giving chores to do , A slave is not your mom. I pickup behind myself. If I use something I put it back. I do not demand dinner be done at a certain time, both know when I take lunch , If I am going to be late they eat before me.

Many just sit back and look for reasons to punish and my question is why? We can just sit back and find something wrong and the first thing that most grab is a belt or paddle.

Although I run a strict house punishing is something I do not look forward to, just as a parent feels bad for punishing a child.

We as humans , Masters and Dominants make mistakes maybe not on a daily basis but we do. Slaves and submissive’s make mistakes as well but nothing more could be more devastating known they have failed.

As with the 7 types of Submissives there are just as many slaves , but also there are just as many Dominants or Masters..

The service slave is more geared towards service , cleaning , cooking , and keeping things in order. Although sex does play a part service is their main goal. Just knowing their Master is pleased gives them pleasure.

The sex slave can be a little service orientated but is geared more at being used as a sex object , at times no holes barred. The sex slave gets off more knowing they have pleased than them getting off. Most sex slaves will conform to what pleases the Master and urge those actions more.

The Masochist in most cases is neither just as a full blown sadist. Very little structure , very few rules, it is all about the pain and the pleasure the sadist gets out of inflicting pain.

The all around slave a mixture of all of the above , a slave that needs a little of all , being used , in service and at times stepping up to take what pain is giving..

We as Master need to step up to the plate , owning one of the above takes a great deal of time and responsibility. We must make ourselves available 24/7. Arianna knows she can wake me at any time to talk.. We must give more than we take.

Being codependent does not make you broken , being needy does not make you broken , having a low self esteem does not make you broken in fact many times it makes you special.

I have heard many times I am broken or I am not worthy of having a Dominant or Master.

I myself prefer the needy part even the codependent , it is just knowing how to handle and being able to offer the care. Short term neither play out good if both sides are not ready to commit.

I have found very few Dominants or those who call themselves Masters who are truly willing to take any type of relationship serious or willing to take the responsibility needed.  These are the guys who hide behind the computer , the trolls who really have no clue. Once they find someone who is gullible enough it is short lived . The crazy rules the unrealistic demands , the confusion of changing rules just so they can punish.

Training is very time consuming just the initial training I am going to say 90 days with hands on contact on a daily basis. In order to be in control you have to be able to reach out and touch. Online training does not work , it works as long as the computer is on and you have 24/7 contact then it is still iffy.

You have to have need , the craving to be owned , the craving to be used , the craving to be called property. The craving to be able to hand yourself over completely.

The hardest part is the first 90 days it will tell you number one if you are just going through a frenzy or the life of a slave is not you….. It is easy to throw in the towel and give up , it takes a lot to stick it out , but if things are not what they seem , the raise the white flag and say I am done… No shame your just being true. I can assure you the Dominant you leave is not the last in the world.

I believe at times humiliation is needed , it is needed to bring someone back down to reality. It is meant to give a shock , kinda like sticker shock when looking at a new car. It brings someone ego back down to earth. Even during my relationship there are times I will use some form of humiliation to keep things in check , it puts them or reminds the slave of their place..

The word USE I use my property , I use my property for my pleasure , even during fucking I use the word USE , I love using you , I love fucking my property , I love fucking your ass. I like the little reminders..

We live a micromanaged relationship as most of you know. I control everything. I control hair color , I control the length , the nail polish , her clothes . I control the way she walks , talks. I control how she acts in public. I control bathroom , food , bedtime , shower , shaving. I receive a hourly check in 90% of the time with pictures. Both girls have a mileage book although I do not check it on a regular basis it is there if I have the urge to look. I have no passwords , I see no need mainly because I am secure enough in my relationship. However I will at times pick up the phones and strum through them.  If you as a Dominant has the need to demand passwords you do not trust and you have a very low self esteem.

If you the Dominant are insecure how can you control someone and your ego not be behind the force of your relationship? A relationship based on insecurities and ego will be short lived and you brought it on yourself, but you will sit in a corner and cry like a little bitch. Even in a relationship when things don’t go your way you still act like a little bitch.

You cannot be a part time Master , you have to be a Master 24/7 365

If you noticed I did not speak to much about Kink , or Bondage. My relationship runs much deeper. While at times I enjoy getting rough , at times I enjoy bondage , at times I get off on sexual abuse , face fucking being my favorite, then anal. I am more about the control , I love being in the mind. I love the structure . I have a life with zero problems and zero drama.. I love my life

New Dominants your best source for information http://bestslavetraining.com/

Oh My Ride

 

Grow up and be a man…

 

 

You Are A Submissive No You Are A Slave

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master & Slave, relationships, Self-identification, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on March 11, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

The world is full of stupid people , we all know stupid cannot be fixed. The world is full of idiots , again cannot be fixed. We all know the world is full of Predators again cannot be fixed. The world is full of abusers and once a abuser always a abuser. The world is full of rapist , again cannot be fixed. The world is full of pedophiles yes very sick but cannot be fixed.

The above our medical professionals say all of these people can be fixed , well with the exception of stupid and idiots. We can give medication , we can send to rehab , and we can offer group meetings and regular appointments but the truth is those people are poison.

Then we move into the world of BDSM a world like our universe that has no end and we have the capability of stepping into other worlds, we have the capability of experimenting , we have the capability to explore new and decide where we fit in.

Wikipedia

BDSM is a variety of often erotic practices or roleplaying involving bondage, discipline, dominance and submission, sadomasochism, and other related interpersonal dynamics. Given the wide range of practices, some of which may be engaged in by people who do not consider themselves as practicing BDSM, inclusion in the BDSM community or subculture is usually dependent on self-identification and shared experience.

Look at the word Self-identification because it will come up again soon in my post it is very important.

As much as I would like to believe I am not perfect, yea I know a big pill to swallow but it is true.  While I am close to perfection I do mess up every now and then but when I do it is usually something I have no control over. When it does happen I take a step back I rethink things and I move on with a different plan.

Where am I going with this ? I did not just wake up one morning and say hey I am a Dominant , or a Master titles are really useless if they are not acknowledge in a form or respect from someone other than you.

It took years for me to evolve , years to learn and learning from mistakes and yes I made the same mistake more than once before I learned it was not someone else it was me.

It took me years to be able to self identify so I could determine the direction I wanted to go , still stumbling and making mistakes.

I just like you had to go through a Self-identification process , while others were trying to tell me who and what I was. Self-identification is not a over night process and it a process that one has to put a great deal of thought and soul searching.

The thing that makes it a hard rode to follow are the fine people I mentioned above. The stupid , the idiots, the predators , the rapist,he abusers and in some cases the pedophiles. You have to think smart and keep your emotions packed away because the above mentioned will hurt you .

You meet a Dom on a dating site , maybe craigslist , maybe in a chatroom. You talk for a while then you agree to meet and twenty minutes into the conversation he is telling you who and what you are. You are not a submissive you are a slave really? This dude has been talking twenty minutes and he has you figured out , while he has no clue what your favorite color is , what your favorite movies are , the foods you like and he has already made a determination on who and what you are. He knows nothing about your family or upbringing , the kind of friends you have.

The things he does know is if you swallow , if you take it up the ass , if you are into humiliation oh and if you are Bi sexual if not willing to try.

Self-identification  The act of identifying yourself as a particular kind of person. Knowing and understand who and what you are. Being able to communicate with others about who and what you are and what you not only want out of life but what you expect.

Self-identification requires self thought and understanding on many different levels. A good example , your are a Slave , um no I am submissive. Now this is not to say as you grow while in a relationship you could have growth or something may inspire you to explore the option of entering such a world.

You cannot chat with someone or meet someone once or twice and the Dominant come to a conclusion of where you fit in the lifestyle. In order to make that kind of determination someone would have to know you inside out.

So questions that come to mind , why do you think I am a Slave ? How do you know I am a Slave? What are you going to get out of such a relationship ? What are your goals in a Master / Slave relationship ? Once confronted chances are there will be no answer , chances are anger will come out simply because you questioned his experience ..

I went through a rather long process of Self-identification , figuring out who and what I was about a year. First I had to understand me , then I had to understand what I wanted out of this one life I was giving. At this point and time in my life I had hit rock bottom, going through the guilt , the poor me self pity , the whole world was against me when in fact I was against myself. My problems were self inflicting , I myself created a mess I had to figure out how to clean up. I spent a year alone , dating from time to time just for the companionship someone to talk to. Many times we settle for less just for the companionship and security knowing it is not going to work , but it works for the moment and time..

Self-identification never let someone try and take this from you it changes your whole identity , it changes your whole world and you will not be happy.

I have never figured out why so many are stuck on titles , I am assuming that is why some try to put you in a category , you are slave and I am Master. The word Master puts him on a different ego cloud, his chest swells so much he can hardly breath and when you come back I am not a slave I am submissive the chest then begins to deflate. Anger comes out he then starts to get aggression , this is a side you have not seen and it should be a warning sign. I hate the word red flag , red flag has no meaning , anything can be labeled as a red flag. When you talk to others they will say oh he does not text back immediately  that is a red flag you should dump him.

Being able to see and understand if you are just being used , used as a toy , a fuck toy. You find yourself on your knees most of the time sucking dick or getting your ass beat for a couple of hours a month and never hearing from him. Doing things you never thought you would , sending pics and videos which you have and were totally against. What are the benefits of such actions unless it is just a control thing ?

I said once before every morning when you wake you stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom and take a deep look. Then you wash your face and make to bad go away and bring in the good.. I guess kinda like the wax on wax off.

If you are knew to the lifestyle you know absolutely nothing. You have spent hours reading and what you are reading is someones opinion and you don’t even know if it is true. You spend hours chatting in BDSM rooms most of the Dominants their are web Doms who are single and will remain single. There are Doms making unrealistic demands , demands you call them Sir or Master. He gets your phone number you both masturbate then he has to go. The whole conversation zeros in around sex and nothing more he has not intentions of moving nor do you because you want to find someone next door.

If you want something you have to be willing to put effort into getting what you want. You have to be willing to work for what you want. If something is just given there is no respect for it.

After the Self-identification process and you meet your prospective owner your job has not ended because now you have to negotiate your relationship at this time you are able to make demands , you have to explain who you are and what you need out of a relationship. It is very important you stick to your needs and not give in. He will then make his demands and you need to listen and ask questions.

The insecure Dom , this are the ones who show anger , do not trust, want all of your passwords. You are accused of cheating , you cannot do anything right. You are not a true submissive. Most of the time it is just verbal , humiliation , mental but at times it can get physical. All of this is abuse but once it gets physical it will never stop. The insecure Dom will not communicate , he will not talk or listen. At this time you sit him down and say look things are going to change or I will make changes for you.  Stand your ground.

If you want some good information bestslavetraining.com

Self-identification never let someone tell you who or what you are.