Archive for the http://bestslavetraining.com/ Category

Training Your Slave

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, owned property, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Slave, Submission, Submissive, TPE, you cannot change a submissive on September 28, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

A slave (sometimes called property or servant) is a term used to describe an s-type and much like a Master, is often used a variety of ways. Most often this term is used to refer to the submissive person in a consenting Master/slave relationship, usually defined as a 24/7 TPE relationship that is greatly respected within the local BDSM community.

The word “slave” is gender-independent: slaves can be of any gender and sexual orientation. If gender is to be indicated, use a phrase such as “female slave” or “male slave”, or the common compound terms slave-girl or slave-boy. Some male slaves are sissified – i.e., they prefer to be treated and referred to in a traditionally feminine manner, and some regardless of gender, prefer to use alternate pronoun conventions, ask someone if you’re not sure what personal pronouns they prefer.

http://www.bdsmwiki.info/Slave

 

I have touched on this in the past but really not into much real depth. While some think having their cock sucked is a form of training it really runs much deeper.

Although I love sex , I have this thought of been there done that. Growing older and wiser my relationship runs much deeper. You want control but you also want control without any resistance. If a slave is pushing back or having trouble following directions then you need to sit down and find out what is going on in the slaves head. Your plan as a Master should of been discussed prior to any type of agreement.

What kind of slave are you looking for ? What kind of slave do you want representing you ? Do you want a slave with children or would you consider ?

Recently I was helping a submissive look for a dominant , I contacted probably 75 Dominants around the same age as the submissive and almost all said they were not interested because they were looking for a submissive around the age of 18 to 21. Now these were 50 and 60 year old men who had not been active on fetlife in months and even years and had giving up on any type of relationship. My emails were only answered I am guessing because they received a email and nothing more.

Obedience implies compliance with the direction or command given to the slave by her Master. For a slave to be considered obedient rather than simply trained in obedience, she must respond reliably each time the command is given, by her Master. A slave can go through Obedience training and not be totally obedient requiring additional drastic training technics. If a slave is referred to as being Obedience Trained she should comply immediately with every command her Master gives her. In the strictest sense an Obedience trained slave is an obedient slave.

Training a slave in obedience can be an ongoing and lengthy process depending on the slave and her Master, the methods used, and the skill and understanding of both the Master and the slave. The level of obedience the Master wishes to achieve with the slave is also a major factor in the time involved, as is the commitment to training by the Master.

So with me service tops everything and this includes sex, then another must is total obedience. Both of these go hand in hand but then I am going to add loyalty , loyalty is a must. Before I entered my now relationship I made it clear I was a service orientated dominant and I explained everything in such detail there were no questions, then obedience, I explained I would not tolerate any games or push back once the training had begun.

While a owner stresses respect respect is something that is earned but I made it clear that when out she would show total respect to not only me but others as well.

How long is the training process ? Well that would depend on the two of you. How consistent are you ? Patience plays a huge role in training just because a rule is broken or a mistake is made , it does not mean it is time to punish. You as a owner have to realize mistakes are going to be made. I had a master tell me one time he could train a slave in 30 days or less and I was like really?

I find it hard to believe you can train a slave in 30 days or less because it takes you longer to get to know the slave than just 30 days. Training is mental , being able to understand how the slave thinks and why they think the way they do. changing habits. The idea is to get in the slaves mind so you can fully understand.

While training you the master are touching on several different areas at the same time. How to walk , speak , sit and where allowed to sit , how to cook and prepare your food , how to dress, when and where to sleep and how to interact with others while out.

One thing that has to be made clear , then relationship you enter must be consensual and nothing less. When you are negotiating your relationship you have to make everything clear. What the slave can expect during training , the service that is expected , the obedience that is expected and the loyalty. Then the sex comes up , you the owner needs to explain your needs and wants when it comes to sex , and this would include anal and oral and anything else you feel may be a need. If the slave says no to any of your needs then you do not have the right slave , cut your losses and move on. Do not , and I mean do not give in to any of your needs. Once you both have agreed then you can proceed. Often training begins without the slaves knowledge and once it begins you need to stay firm. You must answer any questions that is asked , but you never give a reason as to why you are doing something.

Sex , you have negotiated you have both come to a consensual agreement and one thing you have to remember sex is about you and only you the owner. You take without asking or you can direct without asking. You never ask to fuck or to give head you direct. You use and use often , the slave is your property.

I myself incorporated some humiliation during and after training , even today at times I use humiliation if I think it may be needed to make a small attitude adjustment. Humiliation can be effective when it comes to a little bit of a attitude.

Many people associate BDSM with just sex and kink but to a few and I mean very few it runs much deeper.

Another problem people in some cases settle for less than what they are looking for. When you enter such a relationship you know in your mind that the relationship is not going to work or you will not be happy. We do this because as humans we have the need for companionship , but when it comes to the lifestyle it is important to find the right click.

You Dominants and Masters out there could be living the dream and with a little work and dedication then end result is unlike anything you have seen.

Things have changed since the birth of the TNG the younger generation. Most of the lifestyle is about sex and do not get me wrong sex is awesome I fuck every chance I get and they the younger generation has the right to believe and follow their own way.  Several years ago I tried to attend a munch and a 18 year old told me my kind of people were not welcome and dont let the door hit me on the ass on my way out.  So it is my understanding the younger generation has no respect for the older generation and I am good with that. This is the reason I no longer mentor any longer you can figure things out on your own.

The training of your slave will vary from slave to slave , each slave thinks different , acts different and behaves different , has different needs and habits. These reasons is why it is important to get to know the slave before you start any training..

 

The photo is of our room for our 6th anniversary

Vile

 

 

My Mentor

Posted in bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, Behavior Modification, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mentor, Slave, Submission, Submissive, training your slave with tags , , , , on July 16, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

By the early 80’s I had somewhat of a grasp of what the meaning of BDSM meant , but I did not know how to really implement anything as far as building a relationship.

I had lived with chong for almost 7 years and we really just winged it even after chong moved beth in. Beth was someone I really disliked but only went along with it because it was a need for chong.

Shortly after chong had left and went back to Korea , I guess I went through a early midlife crisis . This is when I thought I was missing something in life but little did I know it should of been left as a passing thought. I had to get married , I wanted the house with the fence , the dog and kids. Little did I know this would be the biggest mistake I would ever make in my life.

I knew before I married it was a mistake but I had put a plan in place and I was going to stick to it. Nine miserable years just short of ten years and I was free. Something I learned early on as a Dom was I had morels , I placed standards on myself when it came to my integrity and I would not bend. The duration of my marriage I remain Loyal , I never stepped outside of my marriage. I felt that any Dom who claimed to be such should have higher standards but through out the years I have found many do not and just as many lack integrity. Many associate BDSM with just fucking and kink nothing more and then they complain when things go south.

I divorced and both went through a paralegal to complete the paper work. I had agreed to pay 85.00 a week in child support but soon after I realized 85 a week was really nothing.

I left with nothing and about 1200 dollars in my pocket , to make things worse I was in between jobs. I rented a apartment for 600 a month and I talked the landlord into letting me make payments on the deposit.

While sitting in the waffle house one night , just getting off of my day labor job , yes day labor paid daily. Anyway I over heard two taxi drivers talking about how much they made that day. One was 250.00 and the other boasting about the 560.00 he made that day. Bam the next day I applied , passed background check then drug test and I was set.

The first 3 months I found to be hard , I did not know the ropes but little did I know things would change. The owner of the company Francis took a liking to me and gave me two dedicated runs daily that would give me a take home of about 250.00 dollars a day plus what ever else I made.

Soon after I bumped my child support up to about 150.00 a week because I knew how hard it must be for a single mother to try to raise a child..

Sometime passes and came the breakup , while in the hospital my slave left and moved on. Wow what a rough year that would prove to be. After leaving the hospital it would take me almost a year to recover. The only thing that kept me a float was the two dedicated runs I had , other than that I slept in the car while waiting on a call.

I pulled up on the taxi stand where most drivers sat through out the day waiting on a call. I seldom sat there , mainly because I had those two dedicated run and a dozen of regulars that kept me running most of the day. I pulled up next to this car and I noticed it was a new driver. This guy looked like a pissed off santa clause and I am just looking at him , he looks at me and says well does that cock sucker you have work ? I said excuse me really? He stated well if you are not like most of the bitches here speak the fuck up.

Wow! What in the fuck crawled up your ass and died you old mother fucker , did someone piss in your glass of Im pissed off at the world today?

Then out of nowhere he shouts fuck , I forgot to feed her. So I asked what? He stated my bitch is chained to the floor and she cant reach the fridge. You have your dog chained up? No you stupid mother fucker I would never chain a dog up , my slave you ignorant fuck . Then he started his car and drove off.

Later that night I was thinking about this old dude for what ever reason , I could not get him out of my mind. Thinking there was someone else out there like me , well kinda like me , I was not as grumpy.

Somehow Animel had the ability to pull in some very beautiful women and I remember one who is still in my mind today. She was half American and half Taiwanese. Probably 5’1 and less than 100 pounds. As I had mentioned while driving a cab part time , I took a call over the radio and pulled into this apartment complex and out came walking this drop dead gorgeous woman well young woman , I am guessing in her mid 20’s. It was like a movie , time seemed to stop and as she walked her hair was blowing in the wind. She wore this crop top and a pair of Daisy duke shorts and sneakers. She was not very friendly and really pretty snobbish so I just ignored her and gladly took my 40 bucks.

Several months later I went over to Animels to borrow some tools , I was changing a motor in a 71 Monte Carlo . Animel and his grumpy ass mumbled and pointed towards his shop and as I was going through his tool boxes I heard a slight moan . Walking around his dune buggy he had been building for years , I see this bitch chained to the floor and when she looked up at me , I said well , well, well look at what we have here. I yelled out yo dude you have a bitch chained to the floor. Animel yelled out don’t  feed her yet. So I picked up the tools I needed and walked around the dune buggy and just looked down at the woman and mumbled , fuck me and walked out.

Animel had been living in the warehouse for several years , I really thought the setup was pretty cool. As I walked out I looked at him and just starred and Animel blurted out what dick head? I said nothing and walked out.

As I stated most of what was shared I did not agree with but what I did learn I put it to good use. Sometimes you can listen to someone and only hear what you want and your brain just disregards the rest maybe you know you are doing that or maybe you do not.

 

What I did learn was the mental side of the lifestyle , control and not being controlling , and the need for open communication and listening.

Last year I received a call around 9pm  from someone I had not heard from in several years and was asked if I heard ? Then I was informed Animel had passed , I was stunned and felt great hurt. What is weird it affected me more than when my own parents passed , I felt like I had a great loss even though we had not spoken in 5 years.

A mentor , a teacher , someone you can confide in , someone who will guide and bring out your short comings.

I never knew for sure but I believe Animel was a trainer. His relationships were short but very intense . One day the slave was there and 2 or 3 months would pass and the slave was gone as fast as she appeared.

There were no task giving , no test , just hours and hours of conversations , questions and sharing life experiences.

One topic I concentrated on was Behavior Modification , changing someone to fit my needs and my needs only. Changing habits , the way someone spoke , acted in public and private , the way one sat and even walked , and all can be done without the slave even knowing. This is what I not only wanted but needed.

I learned anger had no place in a Master/slave relationship , how could a master be respected if he was full of anger and rage ? Every time , you scream , call names or even getting physical , verbal abuse is just as bad as physical , each time you lose a little more respect.

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

Once he passed even though we had not spoken in sometime I still feel like something is missing.

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Have Morals

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Arianna, bdsm, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive on May 15, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

As much as I would like to think I am perfect I am not , but I strive to be , I am by the book and I learned at a young age if you try to take short cuts you will get fucked in the end. These are the people you hear complain about life , how things never go right , the world is against them.

I have very few friends , however my closest friends who are the ones who live afar. Those who live in different countries , those who live in different states . One being a Gorean Master whom I have the greatest respect for. All of these friends are people I can confide in , those who will give advice but more important those who will listen.

In my area I have just a few I can talk to but even then at times they do not feel as close as those who live away from me. Master Malkinius a man with a wealth of knowledge , straight to the point and more out spoken than I am.

These are people I have grown to respect , and just because you are a Dom or a Master does not mean I respect you.  As with a submissive or a slave the Master has to earn the respect. If I do not respect someone there is no changing my outlook , there is no way of changing the way I think. My way of thinking is a one way street and it is my way. As long as it is my way I am the only one responsible if something goes wrong.

Just as Mentoring , over the past 6 months or so I have taking on several who wanted to be mentored and one by one each dropped out of sight. Either in a couple of weeks they knew everything or they would not listen , and all but one are gone and forgotten , there is one who continues to ask questions and responds to my answers like clock work.

If I am mentoring you and I give advice and you do not follow it and then I get another email that says what is next ,  I just sit and shake my head. Just recent I was on the phone talking to a new Dom and when I said you need to be able to get into her head , he was the first in years to ask me how do I do that? Wow! I would say you have to be able to get into her head and all I would hear is Okay .

 

My mentor Animel looked like a pissed of santa and he acted like he was mad at the world. I remember him saying if you dont know the bitch you cannot control anything. If you are not the slaves best friend you cannot control anything. If you do not keep your word you cannot control anything. If you do not meet the needs of the slave you cannot control anything. Animel was a Sadist , I mean the most sadistic person I had ever met but his slave respected him. There were no arguments , no screaming at each other and for one she knew better but two she respected him.

While out at a munch he was talking to a sub and she was explaining how she identified as a brat a mouthy brat and his really was what you mean is you are a cunt.  I tend to agree to a point because there are Doms who enjoy the Brat but there are those who do not and are afraid to say anything in fear of the pussy being cut off.

Most men think with their dicks , back in the 90’s I drove a cab part time during events. In a weeks time I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. Anyway sitting at the Hilton one day a real nice Cadillac pulled in and a guy with a wife and 3 kids pulled up and this bitch was fine. As soon as they walked in the guy came out and walked up to me and asked me where all the whores hung out? I just stared at him in disbelief thinking he has this fine piece of ass and hes looking for a crack whore. Thinking with his dick , Vacationing in Daytona Beach and hoping he can give his wife aids , nah the fact is he just did not care if he caught anything or not. So if you are that unhappy just fucking leave..

As far as BDSM goes I am really not a what you would call a BDSM Master and I shall explain.

It took me years for me to get where I am at today. My life is perfect. The perfect slave who only wishes to serve me and only me. We purchased a home back in November of last year in a 55 plus community. I work from home and my slave has a thriving career.When it comes to sex I get anything I want when and how I want it. At times when I am feeling the kink thing I bust out the bondage gear.

Just as Master Malkinius who has spent years researching how to enslave a consensual slave. This would be on a mental level , being able to read someone and understand why the slave thinks the way they do , their habits and needs. The kink and the sex comes later. I am not into marking up my slave , leaving bruises because I like to show her off to much. I do not want to hurt my property.

Mentoring at first I did not get it but while not taking the time to listen I failed and the failure was on my part. Then one day it was like Moses walking down the mountain with the 10 commandments it hit my like a bolt of lighting. Mother fucker I got it and all of a sudden 20 years of shit was just running through my head and I was dissecting everything.. I then realized at that moment and time how wrong I had been and just how many submissives’s I had hurt along the way.  People who know me would not think I would be one to have any feelings of guilt . I am not one to have much empathy for anything or anyone but this was a different feeling.

Just because you are a submissive and you meet a Dom that does not mean he is the DOM for you , or just because you meet a submissive it does not mean that is the right submissive for you.

This is not a vanilla relationship , our needs are different , the kink is different. So the relationship has to be negotiated. How much control does the Dom want , how much control does the submissive want to give up. The kink side of things and then yes sex.

You know my ex wife told me one time she was to tired to have sex. I was like what the fuck is that all you have to do is lay there. She replied well I dont get anything out of it. I was thinking like I really care.

The one thing I cannot look over and I can like you and respect you but it is the Married Dom who cheats on his wife. There is another side , if the wife knows and is okay with the arrangement all is good but if it is behind her back there is zero respect and if I had any before it pulls a casper and goes poof. If you have kids that deepens my thoughts. I have blogged about this before. I was married for almost 10 years and it was the worse 10 years of my life. I had to come clean , I had to share my feelings about who and what I was and I left. The time we were married I remained loyal , I never stepped out. If shit is as bad as you think it is then you would leave. When I first started blogging this was a topic I was stuck on. I left and I left a house , 3 cars and 150K in the bank. When I moved out I had a Duffel bag and around 1800 dollars. I paid child support for 12 years , and those 12 years seemed like they would never end. Most of the time I paid 2 or 3 times more than what we had agreed on. We came to an agreement of 85.00 a week but most of the time I paid 250 and 300 a week. Even I know raising a kid is not cheap , there was day care , school clothes , school supplies and then the knowing I left and she had nothing to do with it , it was all on me. My last payment was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders because for years I went without.

Ive  been in the lifestyle a very long time and let me tell you about the Married Doms who sneak around. They are repeat offenders meaning they will find a submissive and promise to leave their wife who is such a cunt and maybe she is a cunt but hey you knew that way before or there was something you did to make her change. Repeat offenders because they are not going to leave their wife and this is mainly due to not being able to leave the birds nest , the security. It is the wife who builds the home , it is the slave who builds the home , the slave wants the perfect home for her owner just as the wife.

He finds a submissive and makes the world of promises and it may take some time but the sub will catch on and end the relationship. The Dom will then take a break and try to patch things up at home until he gets board again , and the hunt begins. This is something that is repetitive and either the wife gives up or simply ends the relationship.

When I first started blogging this was a topic that I just hammered on because I am so passionate about it. Some women are Okay seeing a married man , as a matter of fact some prefer the man to be married because there is no fear of a commitment. In a way I can understand that and if it works and she does not care about disrupting the family and the children go for it..

A part time Dom or Master cannot demand full time submission , a part time Dom cannot even effectively train.  The submissive will spend holidays alone unless with family, the submissive will spend vacations alone , will travel alone while the married Dom will be off with his unhappy family faking it.

Today BDSM has changed and not many really take the lifestyle very serious. Lets run down to petco and get you a collar, or order one from Amazon for 10.00 bucks. Really is that all you are worth ?

Everything in the community is Labeled Kink , kinky Munch , or Kinky coffee , even at Munchs it is seldom when there is serious conversations about a power exchange relationship.

BDSM is more than just sex it runs much deeper on a mental path. You can actually change someones behavior but and there is a but the Dom has to be willing to devote a lot of time building a true power exchange relationship.

Dominants are looking for a few things in a relationship , someone who is loyal unless you are poly , security , communication , then comes the kink and sex.

It is not a easy road but it can be very rewarding..

 

 

 

vile

 

How The Lifestyle Changed My Life

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, cock sucking, Collar, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , , , on February 3, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Even at a very young age I was kinky , going back to 12 and 13. Then I enjoyed bondage , face fucking and anal. There is just something about a nice ass that rocks my world , more so being in a nice ass.

In my late teens while stationed in Korea , my first look into a dark world I did not understand but I knew I had a connection.  Leaving Korea going stateside for a very short time then heading to Germany where I met Gretchen. Gretchen was up for anything and for two years it was like a 9 1/2 weeks. You would think after spending almost two years with someone love would of come up but neither of us used that word nor did it ever come to mind.

Heading back to the states I was even more curious , curious about something but I could not pin point it I just needed more of it. Most of the time if I went on a date it was a one time thing because if I got into her pants the real me came out.

Fast forward to the early 90’s and I met another Dom name Animel , the meeting him was just by chance and passing. While I lived in Daytona I would drive a cab part time during events. On any giving event I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. While sitting waiting on a call this old man pulled up next to me and struck up a conversation. It did not take long to figure out we had a lot in common and I knew he had a lot of wisdom to share. In a very short time we were like best friends and I found myself at his place just about every day. I would spend hours just listening to him about his life , relationships and why they failed..

At this time I had one thing on my mind and that was pussy. Back then yahoo was the best search engine when it came to finding someone. You could search other users right down to the city. Your search could include , submissive , slave , hair color everything. Then you pulled up their profile and off went a message.

Most Dominants place the blame on the submissive when a relationship fails , I find this hard to believe , because in my experience if the relationship fails it falls directly on the Dominant.  One lying about who he was , two not willing to put any effort into the relationship and last not staying consistent.

I met Bee on yahoo how fucking awesome and our relationship lasted for almost 7 years and when we split yes it was my fault. After Bee I jumped from bitch to bitch , most ending in less than a week. Those that lasted longer than a week was only because I wanted the companionship. As humans we tend to settle for less just for the sake of having companionship. I met Bee about 3 months before my divorce , the entire 7 years I was married and miserable I might add , I remained loyal. I remained loyal because while most might disagree I had some morals. The marriage was a mistake and I had to own it.  Prior to getting married I was in a long term relationship with a little Korean who danced for a living. This was a relationship that lasted 7 years or so and she ended up moving back home due to her parents health.

Being a Dominant is not a part time job , nor can you train a submissive or slave on a part time basis. So ask a Dominant or most how they train ? Ask a Dominant about his protocols and you get a blank stare. The training question never gives you a answer or a answer I got from a Dominant last year when he stated he was training a new submissive , of okay what is your training techniques ? The answer he was was uh you know the usual. Yes really that was the answer.

You as the Dominant you have to sit down and figure out not only who you are but what you want out of a relationship. Again a part time Dominant only gets part time submission and nothing more and if you expect more you are just living a fantasy and nothing more.

To train someone you have to have a clear understanding of what it is you want out of life. How do you picture your life? What type of submissive or slave are you looking for ? What amount of control do you want in your relationship?

If you are already in a relationship or even married the partner you are with can be trained , and can be trained and in most cases not even know it. It is much easier to talk you your spouse than to look elsewhere , unless you are upfront about your plans.

Back in the day I was pretty wild , heavy into pills , I smoked more pot than I can remember . Germany was good , I smoked Hash and a lot of beer , I love beer.

After I exited out of the Army and I lost my first two jobs I knew I had to do something and I just quiet everything cold turkey.

The lifestyle I knew I was different but I could not pin point what I was feeling or the way I was thinking. I knew I was different and I also knew if I wanted to find a partner I needed someone like me. It did not take me long to be able to recognize those who were submissive , but I was not looking for anything long term , just someone for the weekends.

Years go by and I began to feel like I was missing something and that was someone to come home to. I lived with several knowing all would be short term but I had company and I was able to get my kink on. I have never allowed clothing to be worn inside the home and getting dressed when company came over it depended on who it was.

At one point in life I tried to change , I truly thought I was missing out on something so I walked away from the lifestyle and married Vanilla. I wanted the house , the dog and kid but little did I know I would spend the next 9 years being miserable. I have made a few mistakes but this would be a mistake I would pay for 18 years.

I was married for 9 miserable years , and I paid for it and in the end I walked away with a son who was barely 8 years old. I left a house and a shit load of money. During my marriage while being unhappy I remained loyal. I did not step outside of our marriage because when I married her I made an agreement.  I am a man of Morals and integrity , if I give you my word you can take it to the bank.

My life has changed over the years and for the good. It is a different feeling when you own someone instead of just the thought of being married. In my head the responsibility is much greater. You not only own , your decisions affect someone more because your slave looks not only up to you, but follows you through good and bad. We as Masters making the setting. I tend to think things out more logically , thinking of the consequences as well as the good and bad.

You have a slave who depends on you to make the right decisions , you own a slave who has the thinking you have their best interest in mind. Our fuck ups can have a rolling effect , mentally and if you continue to fuck up there will surely be a loss of respect.

We as Masters cannot continue to make mistakes and expect to be looked up to , or even expect someone to follow our rules.

Our slave must be our main focus , our slave must come first even before family and friends.

Today my life is perfect ,  and many when I explain just how my life is I just get a blank stare as if my story is unbelievable.

I want for nothing including sex , sex is always on my terms. Sometimes I tend to get relaxed and I start taking advantage of the girls and tend to take more than I am giving back. When I speak of giving back that would be communication and just listening. Arianna gives me a little reminder and I get back on track.

The lifestyle has made me more responsible for my actions ,  I think things through before action. I never put more on my plate than I can handle.. In my relationship Arianna come first even before family , Lynn comes first as well. I think that is a huge mistake Doms make not putting their property first…

I have grown calmer over the years and I came to realize there is nothing really to get angry over. Why would you yell of abuse someone who lays on their back or sucks your dick? I learned long ago to think before I speak , it gives me time to process my thoughts and words.

You want the world but you are not willing to put any effort into making the relationship work. BDSM is so much more than having someone suck your dick , then you get angry when things do not go your way. You make unrealistic demands , demands you would not do.

Your Property comes first no matter what , before friends , before family and if you are married and seeing someone the man up and leave because you cannot give 100%. You as the Dominant cannot expect full time submission being a part time Dom it does not work and in the end you will lose.

We as humans tend to settle for less than what we really need , this is called pussylitice , your dick is your brain , depending on your Testosterone depends on how Dominant you are.

You can have the life you want but you are going to have to work for it.

 

 

 

 

The Collar

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on January 7, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Collar to me is very sacred to me , it is not something that is given just because  it is earned.

When a couple gets married the two exchange vows , then exchange rings , this seals their fate , and love and now there is a piece of paper that says Husband and wife.

The collar is almost the same as the above but it runs deeper. The collar is a sign of ownership , one giving and one taking. Giving up control of ones life and one taking control of ones life.

If you just give a collar and no reasoning behind it , then it means nothing but if the collar is earned it takes on a whole different meaning.

I myself used two different collars , one was a collar of protection , this was used when going out so others would know the slave was with me , then the actual collar. The collar was earned over a period of 6 months.

You as a slave should have a deep feeling to earn your collar , you should want to strive to earn your collar. If it is just giving to you what meaning would it have ?

 

 

When Does Abuse Cross The Line

Posted in abuse, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, Consensual, http://bestslavetraining.com/, Humiliation, Slave, Submission, Submissive on September 5, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

The title does not even have to pertain to the lifestyle , you can be completely vanilla. Many times abuse , or the one being abused does not even recognize the signs even when it becomes physical. The mind fucking part of the abuse , the verbal abuse the controlling aspect of the relationship. Controlling the times you are out of the house be it doing errands or grocery shopping. Being slapped or knocked down because you were 3 minutes late getting home , being accused of fucking around , when in fact the abuser is the one fucking around.

Telling you that you never do anything right , never having anything good to say about you and if it does get physical and when he apologizes he expects you to lay on your back and spread your legs…  If a man fucks around on you once he will do it again , just like if a man ever hits you he will do it again and each time apologize and beg you to forgive. At that point and time he may be serious , or could be fucking with your head…

Demanding passwords to all of your accounts , checking and banking information. This is a very bad idea and no one has a reason to want such information. This all falls under insecurity , this falls under the controlling thing , it inflates his ego.

Demanding submission is a one way street , the abuser sees it as you submitting but you are really submitting out of fear. The fear of being scared but also the fear of being alone. The greatest human fear is the fear of loss.

Words have a far greater impact on the mind , works have a great impact on your self esteem.  Names like you stupid bitch , you dumb cunt the list goes on and on.

At the end of the day you are to lay on your back with legs spread and you are expected to take what is giving to you and you pretend you like it just to please..

The controlling insecure Dom lays all the blame on the submissive when the relationship crashes . She was not real or she was not submissive enough or she was not trainable. The truth is you got wise and saw the light , you realized you had to escape but it is to late many times the damage is already done. You now carry scares deep inside and will probably never trust again.

This type of relationship often takes place with those who are new to the lifestyle and have had no experience. These Dog prey on those who no absolutely nothing and you rely on the information giving to you is right. This is when the isolation takes place and cuts you off from the outside world. Cuts you off from family and friends because of his insecurities probably stemming from as far back as his childhood and upbringing.

Many times not all the time Alcohol plays a huge role in behavior , the more they drink the angrier they become , possibly a drug habit but you really dread it when a bottle is opened.

Forcing you to give all of your passwords to your email and social sites , even sometimes posting he is the one who monitors your page such as fetlife , again this comes from being insecure. Giving your banking information can at times run into big problems. I have seen a submissive wake to only find their bank account had been drained after a failed relationship.

Then mind is powerful it can work with us or in some cases work against us. Being forced to sleep with other , you agree because you just want to please. Being passed around like a piece of meat without a care. This comes from their ego , their insecurities , their need to show they are in charge. You could be one who enjoys such play and if it fits you have fun but for those who do not wish to take part could be very damaging.

At any giving time you have the right to say no , you have the right to just walk away. You have but only one life , what do you want to do with it?

 

Vile

 

Why I Love Micromanagement

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, Dominant, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Micromanagement, Punishment, Slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , on March 21, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first experience with micromanagement was when I first met Arianna , this was the first time that subject had ever been brought up , well I had been around other Doms who brought it up but I never gave it much thought…

There are two different types of people who use Micromanagement , those who are total fuck heads at work and need that control to make it through the day , and those who need that control in their home and environment if that makes sense.

Micromanaging someone does not mean they are weak , it does not mean they do not have a brain , it does not mean they cannot function , it means the slave wants to give up total control and say. Some find peace within giving up total control in the right hands. Some are able to be who and what they are giving up total control , notice I said some.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which love is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master”, whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.

If we are single not that I like titles or I need one but being single we take on that Dominant role. We are in search or a slave not a submissive , I myself would not and I refused to settle for less. Many times it is our human nature to settle for less just for that security , the security of being but not getting our needs met and it is short lived very short lived. Many times we enter a relationship under false hopes words that were spoken but not followed through with.

Many not all but many will become needy many will become codependent and there is nothing wrong with either it just adds more responsibility . To some it may seem like a dreadful task but if you truly care it will go unnoticed.

If you are going to be a Master you cannot pick and choose what part of the relationship you want. You want the slave to give 100% and in return you must give 150% that just kinda evens things out on a level playing field.

You the Master hast o be willing to take the good with the bad , in the right frame of mind and again if you care enough there is no bad , there are just areas that needs a little improvement.

Before entering the relationship the slave has to be in the right frame of mind. The slave has to know what they need in a relationship. The slave must be willing to give up total control. The slave must be willing to follow and never question. There is a exception to that rule, if a Master is about to do something that is not in the best interest of the home then the slave should be allowed to speak up…

Something you hear of often is when a slave has a question or has the need to voice their opinion the Master shows anger or begins to yell , thus causing the slave to go silent. Anger is not a good trait , not being able to control anger is not a good trait, not allowing communication is not a good trait.

I am in full control of not only my life but my surroundings , I am the one who has to answer to any mistakes that are made. I make decisions for 3 now so anything I do affects all.

I still allow freedom , time off , time off to relax , clear the mind , go out with friends and family , those two are most important. Allowing your slave to relax , go out with friends and family , have fun being able to let their guard down. A Slave needs down time, time to relax , time to unwind , time to clear their head.

In the beginning it is very important to explain everything in great detail , what is expected and what will not be tolerated , but most important there are consequences to their choices.

Plan everything is pre-planned , both girls have a calendar and the entire month is planned with my approval and only I can approve any changes. The only way any changes can occur is if I decide I want to do something.

I myself am held accountable for my actions and decisions , if something goes wrong I have to explain why I made such a bad decision.

Before meeting Arianna , I had never even thought of micromanagement , at that time it did seem like way to much work , but I have come to realize it does make life run so much smoother.

Nudity , I am a firm believer in keeping my property nude while at home , this is a tool I use as a reminder , while I myself stay dressed. Nudity is a reminder of who they are and what their status is within the home.  There are at times with a request I may allow a shirt and panties , sometimes I may feel it is a bit chilly and I will give clothing as a option.

While I do make all decisions I do not have to explain why I made certain decisions although there are times I may elaborate if I feel something is not understood.

I hate repeating myself , I feel I am talking to adults and once I have explained everything and I ask if it is understood , then the conversation is over.

Punishment , I am against corporal punishment although it is not out of the question , it really depends on what the severity of what happened or what rule was broken. I feel sitting a adult down and speaking to them as if they were a child is way more effective. Another reason I do not like leaving marks on my property. I am proud of what I own and enjoy showing off to much.

Dressing ,  before going out I am presented with outfits and I pick what I feel will be appropriate. If we go out the girls look like a million dollars , they are a direct reflection of who I am and my training.

I have some 600 drafts I am working on..

Much Love

Vile