Archive for the https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/ Category

You Need To Strip

Posted in adapting, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Slave, cock sucking, Consistency, Dominant and Submissive, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Humiliation, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Protocols, Sex and Submission, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training Arianna, training your slave with tags , , , on February 5, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna walked in the house , I was sitting at the dinning table and I said stop right there.

You need to strip , take all of your clothes off. You will not be allowed any clothing unless I give permission , this includes company coming over.  I stood up and walked over to her took her hand and started walking . I stopped in front of the couch and pointed at the floor. This is where you can sit , on the floor in front of me. I then walked over to the dinning table and pointed at the floor , this is where you will eat dinner. Besides the bed those two places are the only places you are allowed to sit.

The next couple of hours I remained silent , just observing as Arianna sat on the floor wondering what I was thinking. Later in the evening I walked Arianna to the bedroom laid her down crawled on top , I came inside of her and got off and just walked away without saying a word. I was thinking to myself , my property I will use when I want.

Later that night we were talking and I explained to Arianna in 90 days you will know my needs , what I expect. She then asked how ? You will watch and listen , do what you are told when you are told and told how to do it. Arianna thought I was setting her up for failure.

The next 90 days Arianna spent a great deal of time on her back and sucking my dick. The idea behind that was to use as much as I could to let her know that is what she was for. I remember the first time Arianna sucked my dick , I was thinking this bitch is a keeper and today she just keeps getting better. The using was very important during training. The purpose was to make it clear in her mind she was here to serve and reminded her of her place in the relationship.

Remember it is the slave who must adapt to your way of living , your home , your rules , your protocols.

Over the 90 days I started introducing rules and protocols , I started to control the way she spoke , walked , sit , how she would interact with others . The protocols I introduced were important to me , this was important as well because after all Arianna would be a direct reflection of me.

I controlled the way she dressed , her nail polish , her hair style and color and at one point I shaved one side of her head.

At times I used different forms of Humiliation , this was to set the reminder who was in charge and who was not.

How do you get to know your slave ? You let them talk , talk and talk and you listen. You cannot begin to train or issue rules unless you know who you are entering a relationship with. Having open communication , your slave or submissive has the right to speak and express their feelings . You want the slave to feel comfortable enough knowing they can come to you and speak about anything and be respected and knowing you care and will not judge.

I arranged a protocol dinner where Arianna served dinner and supplied drinks and after everything was dished out , Arianna was allowed to sit at the table for the first time.

I started introducing Arianna to friends I knew in the lifestyle and we attended Munchs together.

Over the next 90 days Arianna started to become a little more comfortable but still had trust issues. We continued to communicate and we talked for several hours daily.

From the day we met is was exactly 6 weeks when Arianna moved in. We would of moved into her place but it was to small for the two of us. Arianna had a really nice small two bedroom Apartment in the historic district and I loved it but it was just to small for the two of us..

I have moved passed the need to inflict pain , my needs were more on the mental side of things. I wanted to get into Arianna’s . It took me years to realize getting into someones head was far more effective and taking the sadist side of things. Truth be known I enjoy showing Arianna off so marks and bruises would not be very appealing.

Our negotiations lasted about a day , it was not a 8 hour conversation , but we did converse on our needs , her needs , my needs and wants.

I had made up my mind I was not going to give in on any level and I was going to get my way or it would be noway.  If you are entering a relationship in the lifestyle and you give in to some of your needs , there will come a time when the need or needs will come up and you have already agreed on certain things.

When I trained I focused on my needs and wants. Sitting down and drawing a picture in my mind on how I saw my everyday life in the present and future.

Dressing , when going out I myself dress very nice and in my mind if we were going out my slave would dress like she was walking the red carpet. The slave is a direct reflection of her Master. It also shows the Master cares for his slave.

Okay this is a short blog ..

I truly appreciate everyone who stops by.

Vile

How The Lifestyle Changed My Life

Posted in abuse, Arianna, bdsm, cock sucking, Collar, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Part Time Dominant, Part Time Submission, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , , , on February 3, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

Even at a very young age I was kinky , going back to 12 and 13. Then I enjoyed bondage , face fucking and anal. There is just something about a nice ass that rocks my world , more so being in a nice ass.

In my late teens while stationed in Korea , my first look into a dark world I did not understand but I knew I had a connection.  Leaving Korea going stateside for a very short time then heading to Germany where I met Gretchen. Gretchen was up for anything and for two years it was like a 9 1/2 weeks. You would think after spending almost two years with someone love would of come up but neither of us used that word nor did it ever come to mind.

Heading back to the states I was even more curious , curious about something but I could not pin point it I just needed more of it. Most of the time if I went on a date it was a one time thing because if I got into her pants the real me came out.

Fast forward to the early 90’s and I met another Dom name Animel , the meeting him was just by chance and passing. While I lived in Daytona I would drive a cab part time during events. On any giving event I could make 3 or 4 thousand dollars. While sitting waiting on a call this old man pulled up next to me and struck up a conversation. It did not take long to figure out we had a lot in common and I knew he had a lot of wisdom to share. In a very short time we were like best friends and I found myself at his place just about every day. I would spend hours just listening to him about his life , relationships and why they failed..

At this time I had one thing on my mind and that was pussy. Back then yahoo was the best search engine when it came to finding someone. You could search other users right down to the city. Your search could include , submissive , slave , hair color everything. Then you pulled up their profile and off went a message.

Most Dominants place the blame on the submissive when a relationship fails , I find this hard to believe , because in my experience if the relationship fails it falls directly on the Dominant.  One lying about who he was , two not willing to put any effort into the relationship and last not staying consistent.

I met Bee on yahoo how fucking awesome and our relationship lasted for almost 7 years and when we split yes it was my fault. After Bee I jumped from bitch to bitch , most ending in less than a week. Those that lasted longer than a week was only because I wanted the companionship. As humans we tend to settle for less just for the sake of having companionship. I met Bee about 3 months before my divorce , the entire 7 years I was married and miserable I might add , I remained loyal. I remained loyal because while most might disagree I had some morals. The marriage was a mistake and I had to own it.  Prior to getting married I was in a long term relationship with a little Korean who danced for a living. This was a relationship that lasted 7 years or so and she ended up moving back home due to her parents health.

Being a Dominant is not a part time job , nor can you train a submissive or slave on a part time basis. So ask a Dominant or most how they train ? Ask a Dominant about his protocols and you get a blank stare. The training question never gives you a answer or a answer I got from a Dominant last year when he stated he was training a new submissive , of okay what is your training techniques ? The answer he was was uh you know the usual. Yes really that was the answer.

You as the Dominant you have to sit down and figure out not only who you are but what you want out of a relationship. Again a part time Dominant only gets part time submission and nothing more and if you expect more you are just living a fantasy and nothing more.

To train someone you have to have a clear understanding of what it is you want out of life. How do you picture your life? What type of submissive or slave are you looking for ? What amount of control do you want in your relationship?

If you are already in a relationship or even married the partner you are with can be trained , and can be trained and in most cases not even know it. It is much easier to talk you your spouse than to look elsewhere , unless you are upfront about your plans.

Back in the day I was pretty wild , heavy into pills , I smoked more pot than I can remember . Germany was good , I smoked Hash and a lot of beer , I love beer.

After I exited out of the Army and I lost my first two jobs I knew I had to do something and I just quiet everything cold turkey.

The lifestyle I knew I was different but I could not pin point what I was feeling or the way I was thinking. I knew I was different and I also knew if I wanted to find a partner I needed someone like me. It did not take me long to be able to recognize those who were submissive , but I was not looking for anything long term , just someone for the weekends.

Years go by and I began to feel like I was missing something and that was someone to come home to. I lived with several knowing all would be short term but I had company and I was able to get my kink on. I have never allowed clothing to be worn inside the home and getting dressed when company came over it depended on who it was.

At one point in life I tried to change , I truly thought I was missing out on something so I walked away from the lifestyle and married Vanilla. I wanted the house , the dog and kid but little did I know I would spend the next 9 years being miserable. I have made a few mistakes but this would be a mistake I would pay for 18 years.

I was married for 9 miserable years , and I paid for it and in the end I walked away with a son who was barely 8 years old. I left a house and a shit load of money. During my marriage while being unhappy I remained loyal. I did not step outside of our marriage because when I married her I made an agreement.  I am a man of Morals and integrity , if I give you my word you can take it to the bank.

My life has changed over the years and for the good. It is a different feeling when you own someone instead of just the thought of being married. In my head the responsibility is much greater. You not only own , your decisions affect someone more because your slave looks not only up to you, but follows you through good and bad. We as Masters making the setting. I tend to think things out more logically , thinking of the consequences as well as the good and bad.

You have a slave who depends on you to make the right decisions , you own a slave who has the thinking you have their best interest in mind. Our fuck ups can have a rolling effect , mentally and if you continue to fuck up there will surely be a loss of respect.

We as Masters cannot continue to make mistakes and expect to be looked up to , or even expect someone to follow our rules.

Our slave must be our main focus , our slave must come first even before family and friends.

Today my life is perfect ,  and many when I explain just how my life is I just get a blank stare as if my story is unbelievable.

I want for nothing including sex , sex is always on my terms. Sometimes I tend to get relaxed and I start taking advantage of the girls and tend to take more than I am giving back. When I speak of giving back that would be communication and just listening. Arianna gives me a little reminder and I get back on track.

The lifestyle has made me more responsible for my actions ,  I think things through before action. I never put more on my plate than I can handle.. In my relationship Arianna come first even before family , Lynn comes first as well. I think that is a huge mistake Doms make not putting their property first…

I have grown calmer over the years and I came to realize there is nothing really to get angry over. Why would you yell of abuse someone who lays on their back or sucks your dick? I learned long ago to think before I speak , it gives me time to process my thoughts and words.

You want the world but you are not willing to put any effort into making the relationship work. BDSM is so much more than having someone suck your dick , then you get angry when things do not go your way. You make unrealistic demands , demands you would not do.

Your Property comes first no matter what , before friends , before family and if you are married and seeing someone the man up and leave because you cannot give 100%. You as the Dominant cannot expect full time submission being a part time Dom it does not work and in the end you will lose.

We as humans tend to settle for less than what we really need , this is called pussylitice , your dick is your brain , depending on your Testosterone depends on how Dominant you are.

You can have the life you want but you are going to have to work for it.

 

 

 

 

The Collar

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Collared Slave, commitment, Dominant and Submissive, http://bestslavetraining.com/, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on January 7, 2019 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Collar to me is very sacred to me , it is not something that is given just because  it is earned.

When a couple gets married the two exchange vows , then exchange rings , this seals their fate , and love and now there is a piece of paper that says Husband and wife.

The collar is almost the same as the above but it runs deeper. The collar is a sign of ownership , one giving and one taking. Giving up control of ones life and one taking control of ones life.

If you just give a collar and no reasoning behind it , then it means nothing but if the collar is earned it takes on a whole different meaning.

I myself used two different collars , one was a collar of protection , this was used when going out so others would know the slave was with me , then the actual collar. The collar was earned over a period of 6 months.

You as a slave should have a deep feeling to earn your collar , you should want to strive to earn your collar. If it is just giving to you what meaning would it have ?

 

 

My Soul Searching

Posted in Adapt, anal sex, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Behavior Modification, blow job, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, Consistency, Dominance, Dominant and Submissive, Dominants Protocol, feminism, fucking, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Safe and Sane, Slave, Slave being used, Submission, Submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission with tags , , , , , on November 25, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

Before meeting Arianna I was single for a little over two years , my you it was by choice. I had spent that time in doing some deep soul searching and I needed to find out a few things about myself. One who was I , I mean really I needed to know who I was in terms of the lifestyle. I cant remember back far enough when I had what you would call vanilla friends and my circle of friends in the lifestyle well I could count on one hand. There are reasons I keep my circle so small , one being if my circle is small and I am in contact with someone on a regular basis and I know I can turn to them ,  then I can consider them to be a friend. Even social media like Facebook or Fetlife I am not a friend collector , after all what is the point of having 2000 friends if you are never in contact with them?  Two I needed to find out what my needs were , what type of relationship did I need to have to keep the fire inside going ? Three what type of woman did I need in my life , was it a submissive ? Was it a Slave ? Or the last thing that popped in my head was she to be property ? There are clear differences between the three and each Dom or Master or owner differs as well , after all we are all different.

Knowing those three things before you enter a relationship is very vital when it comes to having any type of successful relationship but more so when it comes to our lifestyle.

Now during the 2,5 years I was single I did date and the dating process was so I could eliminate what I was not looking for and again I wanted a better Idea as to what I truly needed out of a partner…

One date I remember submissive saying I do not swallow , now sex was really down at the bottom of my list but to tell me you are not going to do something is a strike , and another no anal for me I get nothing out of it. It was obvious we had different out looks when it came to a relationship because it was not about her it was about me. I do not like bondage it does nothing for me , another I do not like humiliation it takes me to a bad place , the list went on and on. So at the end of the dates I would pay for the dinner and explain we were way to far apart to be able to come to any type of an agreement when it comes to a relationship. You mean because I do not like anal you do not want a relationship ? You are 100% correct that would be a need for me and while anal is not at the top of my list I may at times go a month or so just ass fucking , but of course then I always want to finish in the mouth. ATM is my favorite word..

Being a Dominant just did not fit me , this is mainly because a submissive has the right to say no. Being a master there are still negotiations which meant something on my check list could be marked off , yes such as no anal , or no sex when I dont feel like it or I am to tired. Tired really ? All you have to do is lay on your back I bust a nut and get up and you can go back to being tired.  I am to tired what the fuck does that mean ?

I wanted the word NO wiped from ones vocabulary , I cant , I wont. I wanted and needed full control over someones life, I would be responsible for taking care of everything , I would meet ones needs but then I expected my needs and wants to be completed again after all it was about me.

First entering the lifestyle the first slave I met was a total Masochist and needed humiliation just to survive , now how awesome was that ? Well one would think they struck gold but in time I found the Humiliation to be difficult because each time I had to out do the last. The pain part I learned where I could hit and where I could no that my friends is very important because you can really fuck someone up and try explaining that to a Judge. Sherrie wanted a relationship but I did not and while we dated for almost seven years I never not one time fucked her , yea that is the truth. Now she did however suck a lot of dick and I mean a lot but I never fucked her. I did fist her pussy and ass she really got off on that. I would stop by her work and insert a coke can and come back several hours later so I could take it out.  Driving down Hwy 95 in Daytona one time we were pulled over , and I am thinking what the fuck. Sherrie was sitting in the passenger seat butt ass naked holding a huge ass dildo. So the cop walks up and looks in the car and I am thinking this is not going to be good. He simply asked if everything was ok and Sherrie said yes. She was giving a ticket because her tag had expired. The cop never said anything about her being naked , I am guessing the size of the dildo did shock him because it took two hands to hold it.

Years and years past since the late 80’s and while I thought all of my relationships were on spot they were not and each one failed because of me. They failed because I was not willing to commit the time needed and it was pretty much one sided , which now it is pretty much one sided but what makes it different now is I give back , on my terms..

Now you are thinking the kind of relationship you want is impossible. You would never find a slave who would just submit to your every need right ? The key word is patience , good things come to those who wait and most of the time just like my now relationship Arianna fell right into my lap out of the sky. Speaking to a Dom one night and him and I are pretty close with our thoughts when it comes to ownership , anyway we were talking after a MAsT meeting one night and he stated I was lucky and just like I thought he said it was like Arianna fell from the sky as a gift.

I have been very blessed over the past 6 years and knowing many more years to come is more of a blessing. I am also blessed to live with not one but two women Arianna my slave and Lynn our submissive. Arianna completed most of Lynns training taking a huge weight off of my shoulders. Our house runs smoothly and without a glitch , both girls get along with each other.  There is zero Drama and zero problems yea sometimes I cannot believe how smoothly things are going.

Negotiating our relationship was really pretty easy it was my way or no way. I was straight forward and to the point. The thing that blew my mind was Arianna said one word, Okay. That threw me off for a few minutes but I did not show it. Arianna then explained her needs , now in order for me to get what I want I knew I had to give back and her one and only request was to be micromanaged. This was a area I had zero experience in , even asking others in the lifestyle I was told it was way to much work let her go..

Remember the slave must adapt to your way of living , your life , your needs and your training.

Training is something I take very serious and I put a lot of thought into it. What worked for the last slave will not work with a new one. The rules are different , their personality is different , their mindset is different and of course needs. If all the needs are met there are no wants.

I asked the question several times are you sure ? Are you sure this is the path you want to take? Each time the answer was yes and so our journey began.

I am more of a Mental Owner , in order to control someone you need to be in their head , you need to know what makes them think the way they do , their habits , why they have those habits. You have to know their reasoning , now that part is deep. You have to know what makes them think the way they do. Once you are inside as confusing as it may be you are now in full control. The hard part is knowing what to do , when and why. If you fuck something up you gotta fix it so be careful.

What I do in a sense is strip one of ones dignity , I take everything away that was a need and turn them into privileges. I took all clothes away including when company came over , again depending who it was. I took all furniture away including being able to sit at the dinner table. I controlled shower time , bed time , food that was prepared. I controlled hair color , nail polish and I controlled what clothes would be worn outside when we did go out.  I controlled the way she sat , how she spoke and who she spoke to. I used her and used often. I used without a word , I used every hole , I let her know I was taking what was mine.  The slave is yours , your property , you own after all they gave you that right. Use and use how you want and when you want. While I am not a huge fan of Humiliation I do use some form during my training , again this is to reinforce our positions within the home.

Breaking a rule must be a serious offense , the slave forgot to text this is part of training. There is no reason to go off the handle. Training is about changing habits and depending on who you are working with you are looking at 90 days or more before most things catch on. We as owners must show patience.

Keeping that mindset , putting protocols in place and staying on top of the protocols , ownership is not a 9 to 5 job. As Dominants , Masters and Owners we must be available to our partners 24/7 no questions asked.

The one weakness that can kill a M’s relationship is when the Master feels guilty about punishing , or slips and does not stay on top of things , begins to let rules go without consequences. Once you change and your property has seen the difference it is impossible to turn back the pages.

The words I wish I was a better Dom or a better Master , I am sorry I am a failure. Think about those words yea pretty pathetic and your property may not say anything but the same thoughts are there. There are thoughts you keep to yourself , it is actions and words you share. The property looks up to us , not only for a relationship but guidance , direction and depends on us to keeps the rules we have put in placed enforced..

I had thought about Blogging about feminism but as stated above I will leave that as a thought..

Vile

Communication

Life

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive with tags , , , , on October 28, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

It seems I have been MIA compared to my earlier days when it comes to my blog but as you know life happens.

On the home front life is still good and I continue to find ways to make things better. Work ,  relationship and life and juggling all three and keeping things in check can be a little work but in the end the work and effort will and has paid off.

As a master we have a responsibility to not only insure our home is safe and secure but it remains secure if something were to happen to me.

We are in the process of buying a house but it could not be just any house. The house had to have requirements before I would even give it a look. The number one thing was safety , it is my responsibility to insure our home is safe. Affordability is at the top again if something happened to me the home would continue to be comfortable and if something should happen Arianna could just pay it off. The house had to have gas since I also love to cook and I prefer cooking with gas that was a top priority and I refused to give in..

I remember my dad buying a chicken farm when I was a kid and even being so young I was thinking how easy is this. Now our farm had eight houses and each house held 80,000 chickens and the house sat on 10 acres . A older frame house with wood floors a wood stove for heat , no AC but it had a gas stove. We walked in a bank and two hours later we walked out a proud owner.

Times sure have changed now going into month one with just paper work , background checks , financial records going back over a decade , and explaining every penny we have spent over the past couple of years.

So my responsibility as a Owner is to make sure Arianna is taking care of first and for most as I stated above.

I was speaking with someone not long ago and we were talking about the very subject. The subject was brought up about how I should find someone who would be willing to step in and take care of Arianna.  Although I do have what I call a few close friends I do not know anyone who could step in and give the care that would be needed or truly understand her..

 

Just a update  but I will be posting more in the near future.  I have a lot of stuff I would like to cover and somethings have been on my mind…

Vile

 

 

The Stepford Wives / BDSM

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, The Stepford Wives with tags , , , on May 6, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

In the beginning I thought I knew what I wanted or so I thought , I was submission but was not sure how to obtain without giving orders and making demands , I wanted kinky sex but was unsure what it would take to make me happy. It seemed with each relationship I was lacking something but I could not put my finger on it. I was jumping from one relationship to another not finding that happy medium.

Imagine having the perfect mate , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , sounds really far fetched doesn’t it ? The truth there is such a thing and you can change someones way of thinking , you can change habits. You can change the way someone walks, talks and sits even how and what they eat , how they speak to someone in public or not speak. Now the downside to all of what I have mentioned it take work from the Dominant , it takes effort but most of all it takes the need not a want but a need.

There are Dominants who want none of the above , they are the do it now Dom’s. Do as I say not as I do here is a task do it , no rules , no structure or protocols just do it and many who are submissive are happy with this kind of relationship and if it works for you have at it.

Then we move to the Fifty Shades of Grey frenzy which has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. The movies are based on kinky sex by a man who suffers from depression who happens to be a billionaire but if the guy worked at McDonald’s and lived in a trailer he would be a creep.  We all love kinky sex and those who do not think about it which is really cool because it will always be a thought in the back of their mind , but fifty shades has nothing to do with the lifestyle although the dungeon was really nice..

In 1975 I saw the movie The Stepford Wives which came out in 1972 I believe , I was at the young age of 14 and already had kinky stuff going on in my mind and just a year before had tied up my first girl to two trees in the woods. Watching the movie I thought why cant my home be like this thinking of my parents who always seemed to be fighting. I thought what a perfect fucking world if every woman acted the same way as they did in the movie. Now today it is far fetched because what they were creating was fake but in real life without creating some kind of robot it is possible.

I have talked about Behavior Modification before , that has been a interest for some years but it does take some time to perfect.  The other side of the coin you will need a submissive who is willing to turn over that much control. Consensual enslavement everything must be consensual or you have the stepford wives all fake with no emotions or cares just going through the motions. That is not true submission and you control absolutely nothing. If fake is okay with you then have at it but when you have someone who is willing to give and serve the rewards are far greater.

Know what you want and why you want it , this is very important. Have a plan in place but most of all you need to know the submissive inside and out. Her likes and dislikes , food , music , movies , hobbies , and yes even her favorite color. Getting into her mind knowing why she thinks the way she does , why she makes the decisions she does. Getting to know her so well you almost know what she is going to say before she speaks.  Yeah it sounds like a lot and it is a lot of work but the rewards will be far greater. Making her your number one priority and she has to know this. She must have access to you 24.7 of course this is before you move in together should this be your goal. If you cannot reach out and touch her it is nearly impossible to control her actions or her thoughts.

Lets take sex out for now , although sex does play a role in the relationship this should not be your main goal again it is the rewards you are looking for.

Then the interview forget about limits because down the road the limit she has will no longer be limits. Why is she a submissive or slave ? What gives her these feelings ? Why does she need a dominant in her life? What kind of problems does she have even financial ? Are there any medical problems , medications you should be worried about.

You do not want to be the white knight to the rescue , you do not want to fix anything , if you do once everything is fixed you will get dumped. You can give advice and if she follows through and takes care of things then you can think about moving forward with the relationship.

Is she willing to adapt , adapt is a huge word , is she willing to adapt to your way of life ? Is the slave or submissive willing to give up complete control of their life ? To follow , learn and Obey ?

I put sex on the back burner because you cannot make sex a priority in your M’s relationship , there are many more goals that must be achieved before hand. Getting caught up in sex can throw a wrench in the gears because you can let your emotions get in the way of your training. This is of course after the two of you have worked out all of the details when it comes to limits.

Yea this seems way out there but it is the truth you can have everything and then some but it does take some effort on your part.

Now to the sex , the nitty gritty , with a name like the kinky world you would think I would be talking about fucking and sucking all the time, yea I agree but I have calmed down a little in my later years , not the way I think because I have grown more kinky in my mind , darker thoughts , more creative but sometimes thoughts are better left as thoughts. As the trust and connection grows limits will slowly slip away , that is within reason. I mean think about it , you can teach someone to suck your dick the way you like or how to fuck , how to lay , what to say while fucking her , the training on that end is endless.

Get in the mind and you own the body , and with the body comes anything you want short of seriously hurting someone. You own the mind you can get anything you want , when you want it and how you want it , but as with anything nothing is free. Many hours of training and the training never ends it continues on a daily basis and at times you have to change things up.

Have a vision and create it

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

Submission

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, communication, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Training your submissive with tags , , , , on April 8, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

What better way to start out than a definition from wikipedia ?

A 1985 study suggests that about 30% of participants in BDSM activities are females.[1][2] A 1995 study indicates that 89% of heterosexual females who are active in BDSM expressed a preference for a submissive-recipient role in sexual bondage, suggesting also a preference for a dominant male, and 71% of heterosexual males preferred a dominant-initiator role

Female submission describes an activity or relationship in which a female submits to the dominance of a sexual partner. The submission can be voluntary and consensual. The dominant partner is usually a man, but can also be another woman, or there can be multiple dominant partners simultaneously. The term female submission most commonly refers to a woman who derives sexual pleasure or emotional gratification from relinquishing (to varying degrees) control to (as well as satisfying) a trusted dominant partner.

I like this.

Submission may be manifested in a multitude of ways whereby a woman relinquishes sexual or personal control to another, such as acts of servitude, submission to humiliation or punishment such as erotic spanking, or other activities, at times in association with bondage. Female submission can take the form of engaging in sexual activity with a person other than her normal partner, as in the case of swinging (sometimes called wife swapping) or prostitution. The level and type of submission can vary from person to person, and from one time to another. Some women choose to include occasional sexual submission in an otherwise conventional sex life. For example, a woman may adopt a submissive role during a sexual activity to overcome a sexual inhibition she may have. A woman may choose to submit full-time, becoming a lifestyle slave.

Where did your journey begin ? Most will say at a very young age , while others are hit later in life , maybe a life changing event , a thought , words someone speaks or maybe you stumbled across a website and you were intrigued. Growing up submissive can at times be confusing because you know you are different but you just cannot figure it out. You may go through your life and never learn the definition of who and what you are. However you do know you enjoy service, you enjoy giving up control , you enjoy letting others take the lead. Someone will say at a young age there where thoughts of older men , or being kidnapped and used. I am not sure if all have these thoughts or just those who are submissive.

In our lifestyle there are a great number who suffer from depression , I have no data this is just from my experience in the lifestyle. I am not sure how the two are connected or if they are at all. Some are willing to share with others in the lifestyle while some keep things to themselves. So this is where the importance of finding the right Dominant , one who understands you and is willing to take the lead and guide.

Depression is not the end even for those who are Dominant , although in the past I have made statements to the contrary. With the right medications and the right submissive things can run smoothly. The problem would be a submissive who is combative , has a short fuse when it comes to temper , not following rules but most argumentative. Many Dominants though will hang on with the fear of losing a partner , the fear of being alone. The greatest fear when it comes to being human is the fear of loss , be it material , or a partner.

The good is you get pleasure by serving , helping others completing task on time and the rewards of being a good girl.

The bad , you are with someone who does not understand you , nor have they ever heard the word submissive or slave , submission. What they see is someone who is weak , someone who will stand and take verbal abuse and at times physical abuse , but after all is said and done you still stand tall and proud.

Some who are submissive not all but some do not really enjoy sex , what they do enjoy is knowing they have pleased. This is where their greatest pleasure comes from. Now do I have any data ? Absolutely not , I am just speaking from my own experiences in the lifestyle. When I meet someone I drill their mind , I want to know more about them than they know their own self. The knowing you have pleased someone , makes sex enjoyable , it makes you feel needed and cared for. You are willing to do things you never even thought of or maybe thought you would never do such things but you do because you have this deep desire to please.

Over the years the different roles have come to light , it is no longer just submissive , slave or dominant or master.  The daddy dom , the daddy dom master , then the master .The baby girl , the little ,Submissive , slave  and the list goes on and one so finding the right partner , someone who understands you is most important. We as humans by nature have to have companionship we need to be with someone even if that someone is wrong , not the right fit but they are filling that hunger for the time being.

How much are you willing to give up ? How much freedom are you willing to give up? Are you going to follow rules and rituals? Are you going to allow someone to take full control? Maybe you need more but your Dom is only dominant in the bedroom and you are more of a 24/7 how would that work ? Are you willing to compromise your needs for a little companionship?

What type of submissive are you? What type of dominant are you looking for ? We are all different , we all have different needs , we all have different taste , we all have different goals.

One of the biggest myths you will hear is a submissive does not have the right to say no. That is a outright lie. You as a submissive determine how much you will give , when you will give and how and where. Remember you are a submissive not a slave but the truth is even a slave can say no if they feel like they are in danger. There is also a on off switch and many times it confuses the dominant. Once you have had enough and you are done the word no will just flow.  Once you are done you are done , the feeling of being submissive for that time just goes away.

There is a difference between fantasy and reality knowing the difference before entering a relationship. Take your time and speak with other who are submissive , stay clear of dominants , but find out what others are thinking and doing. If you do not take the proper steps you could find yourself in a world of hurt.

How do you see yourself ? How do you envision your life? What are your goals?

Meeting a new Dominant you the submissive , the slave are in complete control until you feel the time is right to enter a relationship. You should be his number one priority , you should come first no matter what. If you go a day without hearing from him , you give your first warning. This kind of behavior is not acceptable and will not be tolerated , the second time it happens you drop him like a bad habit, there is no strike three. How long does it take to answer a text? How long does it take to drop a email?

Vile