Archive for the Impact play Category

BDSM And The Law

Posted in abuse, assault, bdsm, BDSM And The Law, Bondage, communication, Consensual, Deception, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Fear, https://ncsfreedom.org/, https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html, Humiliation, Impact play, Law, munchs, non-consensual, owning a slave, Police, Rough Sex, Safe, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, session, slave, submissive on January 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a very touchy topic, because if something does ever come up, the outcome depends on your first five minutes or so with the Authorities. The police at your front door.

Your playing one night and you get into a deep session , and things get a little loud. The next thing you know someone is knocking on your door. You open it and there stands the men in blue, holding a flashlight, and the questions start rolling.

What you say in the first 30 seconds depends on whether you the Dominant is going to jail or not. When speaking always make sure you have eye to eye contact. What is more important call your submissive to the door with you.

The submissive should only speak when spoken to, the submissive should only give direct short answers while not volunteering any information.

We are two consenting adults taking part in sexual play nothing more. We do enjoy rough sex but nothing more. The term BDSM should never come up, the word sex can.

Second you do not have to let them in your home, even if they should ask, you simply say no. Remember what you say in the first 30 seconds depends on a lot. This is something that should be practiced in your head over and over.

Let your submissive speak freely when asked a question, reassuring there is nothing going on except some wild sex. Again you do not have to let the police inside your home.

Now on the flip side of things this is not what these dumb ass fake Doms do not understand. You meet a new submissive and you play on the first meeting. Things get a little to rough, and he ends up hurting the submissive. The submissive picks up her things and goes straight to the police. You Mr. Dom are going to jail, straight to jail you will not pass go and you will not collect 200 dollars.

In our world there is no defense when it comes to the word consent. You will not be able to say well she let me tie her up, and let me beat her ass.

Listen to me, there is no Judge that will let you use Consent as a defense. Do your research. As a matter of fact I will even show you case law and proof. You will go to jail, maybe prison depending on how bad you beat someones ass. If you have a career you can kiss it good bye, if your one of the married ones you will lose everything you have worked so so hard for.

We are lucky to have an organization who stands with us, although they have been under fire recently about their funds as far as being a 501 3c , but they are still there and they are there for the community.

The group is called NCSF National Coalition for Sexual Freedom,for those of you who are new to the lifestyle, you should visit their site and read. They offer a lot of benefits, advice and here is the kicker. They have a long list of professionals that are on your side when it comes to the lifestyle.

These professionals being Doctors , Lawyers , and yes even Psychologist regular MD’s , as well as Counselors and Therapist’s. The group provides many many benefits.

Most of the time when a couple goes to court together the Male or Dom will not even be allowed to use the word consent, the Judge will simply not allow it. It will still be looked at as you got made and you beat your girls ass out of anger.

So you meet this Dom and your in a session, you have giving a safe word you are going to use, such as red. Things get a little rougher than you thought and you scream out RED, and he does not stop. After you are untied if your able to get up, and you decide to go to the police he will go to jail. This is your right. You may have agreed to a session but you did not agree to be hurt.

You should simply get dressed get in your car and go straight to the police. Because if you do not and you just go home, he will think he got away with what he has done. You will not be the only victim I promise you. By you not going to the police, opens the door for him to abuse again.

Here is a link you should look at, it is on the NCSF website and it explains more about the Law and BDSM

https://ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/consent-counts/consent-counts/item/580-consent-and-bdsm-the-state-of-the-law.html

While the group is actively fighting for those who take the lifestyle serious and those who are real, they in now way condone any type of abuse, and they will not stand by you if that be the case.

Several years ago we had a Representative from NCSF come and speak at a local Munch, and there was way to much information to absorb in such a short period of time.

Listen to others and learn. Do not be a victim.

BDSM AND THE LAW

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Certain BDSM activities are considered illegal in some countries.

The relationship between BDSM and the law changes significantly from nation to nation. It is entirely dependent on the legal situation in individual countries whether the practice of BDSM has any criminal relevance or legal consequences. Criminalization of consensually implemented BDSM practices is usually not with explicit reference to BDSM, but results from the fact that such behavior as spanking or cuffing someone could be considered a breach of personal rights, which in principle constitutes a criminal offense. In Germany, Netherlands, Japan and Scandinavia, such behavior is legal in principle. In Austria the legal status is not clear, while in Switzerland some BDSM practices can be considered criminal. Spectacular incidents like the US-American scandal of People v. Jovanovic and the British Operation Spanner demonstrate the degree to which difficult grey areas can pose a problem for the individuals and authorities involved. It is very important to learn the legal status of the right of consent in the judicial statue of the country of resident for the practitioners of BDSM.

Germany

The practice of BDSM is not generally penalized in Germany if it is conducted with the mutual consent of the partners involved.

The following sections of the criminal code may be relevant in certain instances for BDSM practices:

To fulfill the charge of coercion, the use of violence or the threat of a “severe mistreatment” must involve an endangerment to life and limb. In cases where the continued application of the treatment could be ended through the use of a safeword, neither coercion nor sexual coercion may be charged. In the case of charges of sexual abuse of people incapable of resistance, similar principles apply. In this case, taking advantage of a person’s inability to resist in order to perform sexual acts on that person is considered punishable. The potential use of the safeword is considered to be sufficient possibility for resistance, since this would lead to the cessation of the act, and so a true inability to resist is not considered to be in effect. The charge of insult (slander) can only be prosecuted if the defamed person chooses to press charges, according to §194. False imprisonment can be charged if the victim—when applying an objective view—can be considered to be impaired in his or her rights of free movement.

According to §228 of the German criminal code, a person inflicting a bodily injury on another person with that person’s permission violates the law only in cases in which the deed can be considered to have violated good morals in spite of permission having been given. On 26 May 2004, the Criminal Panel No. 2 of the Bundesgerichtshof (German Federal Court) ruled that sado-masochistically motivated physical injuries are not per se indecent and thus subject to §228.[1] Still, this ruling makes the question of indecency dependent on the degree to which the bodily injury might be likely to impair the health of the receiving party. According to the BGH, the line of indecency is definitively crossed when “under an objectively prescient consideration of all relevant circumstances the party granting consent could be brought into concrete danger of death by the act of bodily injury.” In its ruling, the court overturned a verdict by the Provincial Court of Kassel, according to which a man who had choked his partner and thereby involuntarily strangled her, had been sentenced to probation for negligent manslaughter. The court had rejected a conviction on charges of bodily injury leading to death on the grounds that the victim had, in its opinion, consented to the act. Following cases in which sado-masochistic practices had been repeatedly used as pressure tactics against former partners in custody cases, the Appeals Court of Hamm ruled in February 2006 that sexual inclinations toward sado-masochism are no indication of a lack of capabilities for successful childraising.[2]

United Kingdom

British law does not recognize the possibility of consenting to actual bodily harm. Such acts are illegal, even between consenting adults, and these laws are enforced (R v Brown being the leading case).[3] This leads to the situation that, while Great Britain and especially London are world centers of the closely related fetish scene, there are only very private events for the BDSM scene which are in no way comparable to the German “Play party” scene.

Following Operation Spanner the European Court of Human Rights ruled in January 1999 in Laskey, Jaggard and Brown v. United Kingdom that no violation of Article 8 occurred because the amount of physical or psychological harm that the law allows between any two people, even consenting adults, is to be determined by the jurisdiction the individuals live in, as it is the State’s responsibility to balance the concerns of public health and well-being with the amount of control a State should be allowed to exercise over its citizens. In the Criminal Justice and Immigration Bill 2007, the British Government cited the Spanner case as justification for criminalizing images of consensual acts, as part of its proposed criminalization of possession of extreme pornography.[4]

Canada

In 2004 a judge in Canada ruled that videos seized by the police featuring BDSM activities were not obscene, and did not constitute violence, but a “normal and acceptable” sexual activity between two consenting adults.[5]

In 2011, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled in R. v. J.A. that a person must have an active mind during the specific sexual activity in order to legally consent. The Court ruled that it is a criminal offence to perform a sexual act on an unconscious person – whether or not that person consented in advance.[6]

Italy

For Italian law, BDSM is right on the border between crime and legality, and everything lies in the interpretation of the Code by the judge. This concept is that anyone willingly causing “injury” to another person is to be punished. In this context, though, “injury” is legally defined as “anything causing a condition of illness”, and “illness” is ill-defined itself in two different legal ways. The first is “any anatomical or functional alteration of the organism” (thus technically including little scratches and bruises too); The second is “a significant worsening of a previous condition relevant to organic and relational processes, requiring any kind of therapy”. This makes it somewhat risky to play with someone, as later the “victim” might call for foul play using any sort of little mark as evidence against the partner. Also, any injury requiring over 20 days of medical care must be denounced by the professional medic who discovers it, leading to automatic indictment of the person who caused it. BDSM play between nonconsenting adults or minors or in public is of course punished according to “normal” laws.[7]

Austria

§90 of the criminal code declares bodily injury (§§ 83, 84) or the endangerment of physical security (§89) to not be subject to penalty in cases in which the “victim” has consented and the injury or endangerment does not offend moral sensibilities. Case law from the Austrian Supreme Court has consistently shown that bodily injury is only offensive to moral sensibilities (and thus punishable) when a “serious injury” (meaning a damage to health or an employment disability lasting more than 24 days) or the “death” of the “victim” results. A light injury is considered generally permissible when the “victim” has consented to it. In cases of threats to bodily well-being, the standard depends on the probability that an injury will actually occur. If serious injury or even death would be a likely result of a threat being carried out, then even the threat itself is considered punishable.[citation needed]

Switzerland

The age of consent in Switzerland is 16 years, which also applies for BDSM play. Children (i.e. those under 16) are not subject to punishment for BDSM play as long as the age difference between them is less than three years. Certain practices, however, require granting consent to light injuries and thus are only allowed for those over 18. Since Articles 135 and 197 of the Swiss Criminal Code were tightened, on 1 April 2002, ownership of “objects or demonstrations […] which depict sexual acts with violent content” is punishable. This law amounts to a general criminalization of sado-masochists, since nearly every sado-masochist will have some kind of media which fulfill these criteria. Critics also object to the wording of the law, which puts sado-masochists in the same category as pedophiles and pederasts.[8][9]

Nordic countries

In September 2010, a Swedish court ruled that a 32-year-old man was acquitted of assault for engaging in consensual BDSM play with a 16-year-old woman (the age of consent in Sweden is 15).[10] Norway’s legal system has likewise taken a similar position,[11] that safe and consensual BDSM play should not be subject to criminal prosecution. This parallels the stance of the mental health professions in the Nordic countries, which have removed sadomasochism from their respective lists of psychiatric illnesses.

References

  1. Jump up ^ Decision of the Bundesgerichtshof, 26 May 2004, 2 StR 505/03, which may be found at: BGHSt 49, 166 (bundesgerichtshof.de)
  2. Jump up ^ Appeals Court of Hamm in its judgement of 1 February 2006, case number 10 UF 147/04, available online at the Portal of the North Rhine-Westfalian Ministry of Justice (German)
  3. Jump up ^ “Spanner Trust submission to the Home Office Review Board on Sexual Offences”. The Spanner Trust. Archived from the original on 14 December 2007. Retrieved 27 January 2008.
  4. Jump up ^ House of Commons: Criminal Justice And Immigration Bill
  5. Jump up ^ Barker, Meg; Iantaffi, A.; Gupta, C. (2007). “Kinky clients, kinky counselling? The challenges and potentials of BDSM”. Open Research Online. Routledge. Retrieved 12 January 2011.
  6. Jump up ^ Mike Blanchfield (27 May 2011). “Woman can’t consent to sex while unconscious, Supreme Court rules”. The Toronto Star. Retrieved 27 May 2011.
  7. Jump up ^ Ayzad, BDSM – Guida per esploratori dell’erotismo estremo, Castelvecchi, 2004 ISBN 88-7615-025-0
  8. Jump up ^ datenschlag.org(Oktober 2001) (German)
  9. Jump up ^ Interessengemeinschaft BDSM Schweiz (German)
  10. Jump up ^ Man freed in landmark S&M case
  11. Jump up ^ SM og loven (Norwegian

A ton of information have fun.

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Vile

I Am Me

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, blog, Bondage, Collar, communication, Consensual, control, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Giving Head, Humiliation, Impact play, Kink, kinky, Lie, Lies, Love, Loyal, Master, Masters, munchs, needy, oral sex, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

In he past I have posted a little about who I am but I never have gone into any great detail. I have been into the lifestyle for longer than I can remember this dates back into my teens, before I even knew what BDSM was all about. Even in my teens I had the need to be in control.

I grew up in a very small town in Northern Georgia my 8th grade class had 23 people in our graduation. Going into high school it was somewhat bigger but total 9th 10th 11th and 12th only had about a thousand kids so compared to today’s school it was small. I played baseball in elementary and high school. I was a relief pitcher. I was only good for 2 or 3 innings though due to my side arm throw. At the age of 16 I was throwing 86 MPH so after a few innings my elbow would swell.

I was popular with most of the guys, but I cannot say the same about the girls , due to my sexual behavior. At that age I enjoyed bondage, face fucking, anal I was game for pretty much anything. It was a control things.

I caught onto life pretty fast I grew up in an abusive home, and both parents were addicted to pain medications, and of course alcohol. The one thing I learned on a daily basis is I was not going to be like them. To this day I could never figure out why they argued. My real mother has since past but my father is still living and we have somewhat of a good relationship. I have one brother who just turned 46 I am 51 by the way. Him and I talk often but have only seen each other maybe 3 or 4 times in the past 15 years.

I have never really been into drugs although as a teen I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but they just grew more so I lost that battle, I have never done any hard drugs such as cocaine , I am not big on pills , but I do have a drink from time to time. Every now and then I will get sideways but that is far and few.

I learned about the lifestyle shortly after I joined the Army and was stationed in Korea, and even then I just happen to stumble into it. I was introduced to an old man named Kim who lived with 5 slaves.

There is a huge difference in the lifestyle than in the US. In Korea a Slave would have nothing to do with a Dominant or Master unless she knew who trained you. Since the lifestyle in Asia is so underground it is probably still the same.

Once back in the states I was still young and dumb, but I had a couple of things on my side. I no longer had a temper, I was very calm, and I knew how to get into someones head. All of the sex, face fucking, ass fucking meant nothing but now I had a weapon that was very effective.

So for many years I spent most of my time just using, I would get what I wanted and just toss to the side and look for the next. This went on for a number of years. To me a long term relationship was a three day weekend, much more past that I was just bored.

One thing I did learn and it can be good and bad, I learned from an early age to speak my mind, If I thought it I said it. Another thing I learned was to observe people, I am a people watcher. What I learned from watching people is how I did not want to live.

So I have had several long term relationships, but have only been in what I would call love maybe 3 times in my 51 years. That is not a very good track record. In between up until a couple of years ago there were a couple of times I settled for less that what I needed and wanted, knowing it was not going to work, but I am human.

How you see me on here is me, once I log on and I start a new post I do not change. I am the same at home, in public, at work or at a local munch, I am me. I never try to be someone I am not.

I remember several years ago and this is what hit me, I was at a Chinese buffet with a friend and another friend showed up with a date, and when he said hey Vile whats up I asked them to sit down and join us and his date was just starring at me, and finely asked if I use to live in these apartments and I said yes. She actually started trembling and told her date she wanted to leave. She was truly scared of me. On my way home Animel and I were laughing at her, but once home I mixed a jack and coke and I was standing outside on the river bank and I started thinking. Wow if she was scared of me just how many more feel the same way. Then it hit me being feared is nothing to be proud of, that is not how I wanted to be known as.

So I put a plan together, I was going on a Vile clean up campaign. I was going to be my own public relations manger. I was going to clean the story of Vile up.

I became more active in the community. I started doing a lot of speaking, dating more, changing up my way of playing, putting my sadistic nature to the side, and before I knew it I was back in the game, I was back in the hunt. I was no longer feared I was very respected in the community, today even more so.  So a year later standing outside looking over the river drinking a jack and coke, I thought to myself well done Vile you did the impossible.

I was still missing something though and I could not put my finger on it, then I was at Bush Gardens one day and I saw all of these family’s walking by with kids and I said that is it man you need a wife and a kid. So off I went 3 months later I was married and a short time after she was pregnant. We lost our first son to a heart transplant he was 18 days old. By this time I had enough of the vanilla life and I had to get back to being me, and wow she was pregnant again. So I stuck it out for another 3.5 years then I had to come clean about who and what I was.

Now I was married for nine years to the most vanilla woman in the world, the sex was horrible, she could not suck a dick to save her life, and no ass fucking. I said you are killing me here. So after I came clean she agreed to let me move a Slave in, yea baby , but she was only an in service slave, NO SEX. My ex-wife was a horrible house keeper, she could not cook, and clutter everywhere. So I moved this bitch in and she went to work. A week later spotless house, meals cooked every night, my lunch packed kids off to school, picked up this was the life. So my ex gets jealous and says you both have to go. Let me think okay I am out of here. I told the salve hey its been nice love ya go back home.

I have a very good relationship with my Ex wife, there is no drama, Arianna and her get along good, my son likes Arianna. So now life is good.

So when I log onto wordpress I am me, this is who I am. If I were to try and be something different what would people who read here think of me. I tell the truth , I live by the truth.

Many have asked for advice and when I tell them what they do not want to hear, most get mad. If I told everyone what they wanted to hear where would that get you ?

I do not want you to agree with everything I post, or the way I believe, the way I think. My post are to make you think, my post are meant to be objective.

Much of my blog is about safety okay so Ive had a change of heart over the past several years. I speak on safety because you as a submissive or slave can get fucked up, you can get hurt and hurt bad. Most do not think before entering a relationship. More so the new who are entering the lifestyle. You do not listen until it is to late. You want what you want and you want it now. It does not work that way

So the next morning when you wake up and your bruised from head to toe, or something is broken, you can think back, yea Vile told me, and I did not listen. Bondage is no game and if you get some dude that does not have a clue to what he is doing, you just may not wake up the next morning.

Most new Doms are into hard impact play, again if he does not know what he is doing he could break sometime, or even worse while spanking and he hits to high and to hard, you could lose a kidney. BDSM is not a game you can get fucked up. Bondage there are many no’s. You can damage tendons if tied to tight. Remember that when you meet a Dom for the first time and he brings his little travel bag and he is totally clueless about what he is going to do. Yea take his word when he says oh I have been in the lifestyle for 20 years. Are you really going to take his word ?

The first thing I did when Arianna and I agreed to enter a relationship was to introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle people I had known for years. There is nothing like the feeling of being safe.

Keeping your girls safe is what the majority of my blog is about, it is up to you if you listen or not. Again why do you think that over 95% of the 236 followers are women and there are so few men ?

I am not here to put other Doms or Masters down. I am not here to say I am better than your Master, because I am not we all have our own way of living.

Being a Submissive or Slave is not about being on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor, doing laundry , cooking or cleaning house. Being a Slave is not about being passed around like a dog, unless that is your kink, if so then go with the flow. Being a Slave does not mean your stupid, or you cannot think on your own. You are human, but a Human with different needs.

Slaves are needy for the most as with those who are submissive. You should not have to change who you are. I like needy myself, I like my Bitch to hang all over me. If your Master excepted you the way you were then he should not try and change you.

I share things because I want you to see what kind of relationship you can have, a relationship filled with love and respect. A relationship where you are cared for. A relationship filled with communication, then you add all of the kink.

You do not have to put up with drama, you do not have to put up with lies , you do not have to put up with abuse, arguing the list goes on and on. Before a Slave or Submissive you are human, you have feelings, you have needs and they should be met. If they are not speak your mind and if things do not change, fucking leave.

Why would a Master argue with his Slave ? Who is in charge at this point ? Why would you allow a Master to Slap you around ? degrade you, humiliate you in anger, call you names out of anger. Why would you allow such things ?

You as a slave or submissive has the right to be happy treated with respect, you do not needs someones drama brought into your life nor should you bring your drama with you.

I put a lot of work into my relationship 25 hours a day 8 days a week 366 days a year. I take care of mine and only mine. I am there through good and bad. I am there when Arianna gets emotional . My time is dedicated to her and only her. I am not looking to add to my house. Because I get anything I want when I want.  She would never think of saying NO. Be it sucking my cock, fucking , anal anything. Why ? Because I go above and beyond to insure she is taking care of. She knows that not matter what she comes first. That is the way it should be.

Be who and what you are, and make sure your Master does the same.

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Vile

Your A Slave Seeking A Master

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, anticipation, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bondage, Chat, communication, Consensual, controlling, Conversation, Dating, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, Giving Head, Impact play, Master, munchs, No Panties, No Rights, oral sex, Patience, Rape, Safe Call, Security, slave, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick on September 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is probably one of the hardest task you will even endure in your life. This is probably one of the task you will make the most mistakes while you are searching.

I am not here to brag about who or what I am, I am okay with myself, I know who I am, I know what I am about, most of all I know what I need from my partner and out of life.

The hard cold fact if you put 100 Dominants side by side and you had to guess who were true to the lifestyle and lived it daily what would you think the numbers would be? 90 maybe 80 maybe 75 or even lower 50, well neither of those number even close lets say 3 or 4 . Now don’t spit your drink out just yet, because you can hit a bad snag and the numbers could drop even lower.

A while back I had a post similar to this and a woman disagreed with me when I said a Dominant should not mind providing references, be it old flames , people in the lifestyle, what local events he attends, the list goes on and on. There is nothing wrong with asking these questions.

The female who disagreed with me I was okay with her answer, everyone has a difference of opinion. Okay you meet a vanilla guy you go out to eat, a movie, maybe the beach at night, maybe you go to church together, or he invites you over to meet his parents. That is the Vanilla world.

Meeting a potential Master is not like meeting your AC man. You are meeting someone who is or could have full control over your life. You are meeting someone who could take away all of your rights. I am not speaking about those who are submissive, but it still goes along the same lines.

Most of all never let a New Dominant try to put a collar on you the first meeting, this is nothing but ego, would you marry him on your first date I would think not.

First things first Bondage can be very dangerous , impact play can be very dangerous, breath play can be deadly, again you are not meeting the preachers son who was introduced to you through your parents.

People die every year from S & M play, you do not die from eating a banana split sitting outside of Dairy Queen. So to aske questions upfront is perfectly okay.

A real Dominant that you meet via the net will not bring up the subject about sex right away, this is a very bad sign if your 15 minutes into a conversation and sex comes up. At this point he has no other interest in you.

Laying on your back and spreading does not make you a submissive, on your knees with a mouth full of Dick does not make you submissive. Talking dirty over the phone does not make you submissive, sending nude photos of yourself does not make you submissive, nor at this point and time do you have anything to prove. The new Dominant has everything to prove.

I have received a call at 2am a slave wanting me to drive 250 miles to pick her up because she had been raped and beating, and yes I did even after I had told her not to meet this dude, so she ended up with a broken Jaw, and a few ribs.  Rape happens to be very common when it comes to fake Dominant most know the act will go unreported just because you do not want to tell why it happened.

You have to become friends that is the first. What do you have in common, food, movies, maybe travel, flea markets. If you start out in a sexual relationship guess what? That is all you have and it will be short lived.

Here is the kicker, if you are a submissive or Slave who is on any type of depression medication, maybe your Bi-polar , you have to find someone who is understanding, a Dominant with compassion, and most important a Dominant with a great deal of Patience a lot of patience. Someone who cares about where your coming from, what your thinking someone who will make you talk about your thoughts and feelings. If you suffer from any of these disorders some parts of S & M may not be suitable for you, but you do it anyway because you want to please.

If you suffer from any of those disorders you need a well structured home, rules are good, unless all your rules are sexually based. You would be very surprised at what a difference a well structured and drama free home would make on your well being.

Other signs when you first meet a Dominant, most Slaves want and need to be number one, then there are some who do not mind if their Master is married, but if your looking for a single Master there are signs that will tell you.  One being you cannot call except on certain days or hours, or you text and you hear nothing for a couple of days. He will not show you where he lives. He will not take you out with his friends. You do not receive a call on your birthday, or holidays, again the list goes on and on.

There is nothing wrong with asking, what makes you a Dominant? Avoid those who demand you call them Sir at the beginning of a conversation. Being called Sir is respect and that has to be earned. Those who demand such things are ego driven.

Rules are meant to help, rules are meant to put structure back into your life. Rules should not be sexually based. When first meeting someone do not send nude pics, there is no reason. I have never asked for nudes, that takes all of the excitement out of meeting someone new.

In a new relationship I usually start out with 5 or 6 good rules, sometimes less, I take old habits and make good habit, this is the first part of training. as the relationship progresses more can be added if needed. You can implement to many rules and make the Slave feel overwhelmed. We do not want to set anyone up for failure.

Another question that pops up is are you Bi do you like girls? It is okay to say no and that should not be a deal breaker, ask the new Dominant if he is Bi and look at his reaction.

The most important thing to remember is you do not have to submit when you first meet a new Dom, you don’t have to suck cock in the Denny’s parking lot to prove your submissive. You don’t have to fuck on the first date to prove your submissive. you don’t have to wear a short skirt with no panties when you first meet to prove your submissive. I asked that shit when I was in my 20’s.

Take your time and do not settle for less. Your not buying a new car or a house. You are looking for leadership, security, most of all someone who will understand you and takes care of your needs.

Let me tell you this if you do not set up precautions before you meet someone and you end up in a hotel with someone you really do not know the situation could really turn ugly and fast . You might find yourself tied up and no place to go.

Set up a safe call with a friend, good idea, once your at your destination take a picture of the address, the tag on his car send it to your safe call. If nothing else this will make the Dominant think twice. Better yet you can be upfront and tell him what your plans are, he should be perfectly okay with your plans, if he objects any then make other plans for the night.

 

Vile

Impact Play and Safety

Posted in bdsm, Caning, Impact play, Spanking on September 16, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

While some of us including submissive’s enjoy impact play, this type of play is not for just anyone, more so if you are just learning the lifestyle. If you do not know what you are doing, the Dominant can really hurt someone, I am speaking from experience, as I have spoken about before my first was a masochist, and I was just out of the box.

While I became interested in the lifestyle at a very young age it was not until my late 20’s early 30’s I was introduced to hard impact play.

We all enjoy spanking, must who are submissive, or slave enjoy this type of play, that is why I do not use spanking or caning as a form of punishment. Both can be a great stress reliever , but has to be done properly, without causing harm.

While spanking or caning, there are some who enjoy hard impact play. Where you do not want to strike it just above the butt bone, this is where the kidneys are located.

ImageYou can bruise the kidney, and in some cases the kidney can stop functioning for a short period of time, or even permanently, not to mention hitting that area is extremely painful.

While most women enjoy having their breast slapped and spanked, pulled on and in some cases punched, the area just below the left breast is where the spleen is located during impact play this is an area you need to stay away from. The spleen its self is really easy to rupture, if it just right. Many times in care accidents or a bad fall the spleen can rupture.

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Some of us enjoy choking during play, I do, be it breath play, or holding down while having sex. Many times this will give the slave or sub a greater feel of submissive.

Believe it or not there is a correct way to hold the throat during breath play and a wrong way..

ImageWhen choking you want to make sure the palm of your hand is directly over the wind pipe, if just your fingers you could accidentally bruise or even damage.

Even face slapping which I enjoy, if you get to far above the cheek you can bust blood vessels, in the eyes causing discomfort for several days, or even worse permanent damage. Try explaining any of this to the ER staff, even more so the local police.

While BDSM is consensual in all states it is still considered abuse. Most local community’s are active in a group called NCSF. https://www.ncsfreedom.org/ An awesome organization everyone should get familiar with.

Also there are lifestyle friendly lawyers. A good thing to know. You may find one or know how to get in touch with one through your local community..

BDSM is always about safe, sane, and consensual.

Vile