While at the MasT Meeting Last Friday night we had an awesome conversation, and we got off topic several times, but the leader of MasT Slave S Looked at Arianna and I and said we have a very unique relationship, and wanted me to go into detail about how I maintain control,and it was and is still one word Consistency nothing more.
This is more about us and how we live our lives. Just to give you a more in depth look at a Master and Slave. We want to share this side of us.
Either you are or you are not. I will be the first to admit I could not be a submissive nor a Slave, but let me make one thing clear, being either does not make one weak, nor are they a doormat. Most who are submissive or Slaves have a great deal of responsibility. Most take care and run the Home, that is Arianna’s job. She insures things within the home run smoothly. Most of the time we make the food list together we talk about what we are going to have during the week. A lot of times we shop together, and when I can I cook. That is to help take some of the load off of Arianna
Arianna has full control over all money every week she gets my pay check, and my monthly bonus. She insures all bills are paid, and balances the checkbook. If I should want something I ask if we can afford it. I never question her ability when it comes to running the home.
On top of running the home Arianna has a very good career, a lot of responsibility. Her commute one way is 51 miles. To make such a long drive I had to insure she had good transportation, so in May of Last year we bought her a new car .
Our job as a Slave owner comes down to only a couple of things, all of which are great importance. We make things run as smoothly as we can with in the home and outside. We take care of any problems that may come up. We insure our property has a stress and drama free environment. The drama and stress free are probably the most important, but the most important is staying in control. Slaves are going to make mistakes, that is a giving. A mistake does not mean she broke a rule.
One thing we found out when we first met is we have more in common than just M’s that is also very important, it would be pretty boring if all we had in common was BDSM. The only things we really do not have in common is music and some of the old cars I like, other than that we are on the same playing field.
I do give Arianna free time to visit friends although she really only has one she visits but this time is important to her, and I respect that. Everyone needs a break from time to time.
If Arianna wants to buy something for her be it clothes, makeup, what ever I hardly ever say no. This is a type of reward. It is very hard to deny one who gives so much. Her favorite place to shop is Amazon.com if it comes with free shipping, she also loves thrift stores, she is like a little kid in one, really fun to watch. I do go shopping with her, I take an interest in her needs.
Just sit back and try to imagine giving up full control. Giving up full control to the point the word No is not allowed to come out of your mouth. Trusting someone that they will not cause harm or hurt, physically or mentally. Allowing your body to be used for someones pleasure.
The more control we show, the more we show we care, the more communication we keep, the more the slave will give. The slave will give without thought. The slave will have the need and want to give.
If you have rules or protocols , they should each be explained in great detail, so when the Dominant if finished the slave has a full and clear understanding of what is expected. If I implement a new rule I explain why I think it is needed. I explain it so there are no questions.
Although your always in that frame of mind Master and Slave you have to be best friends, you have to be able to talk, laugh and joke. I act nutty at times, I like to joke, I enjoy making others laugh. That is a very important part of ones life.
The key to training a Slave is first and for most the Slave must be willing, the slave must have the need. The last the slave has to find the right match.
I have stated before training is a type of behavior modification this is not done over night, in my experience 6 months to as long as a year, and it is something that is continuous it never ends. Again the key word and I cannot express it enough is Consistency.
Seeking a long term M’s relationship is something you need to give a lot of thought, for one the responsibility, and what the long term effects are going to be.
I know a slave now who lived in total servitude, on one hand she was lucky because she had sister slaves, but she rarely saw the out doors. Her owner has since past and she is lost, and will continue to be lost until she is able to find a new owner that will allow her to live the same way..
In my opinion if you have been in a long term relationship speaking of an M’s it would be most difficult for a slave to just pack up and leave, unless they are experiencing abuse, and then still after living in such a structured environment even with abuse it would seem hard to be able to function.
People today relate BDSM to a sex game, I have said this many times before, it is because we as humans are visual, None of the BDSM videos show what it is like to live a normal life. It is all about bondage and sex. The same if you google images, Bondage and sex comes up along with someone being beaten. Most of what you read are women being abused, whipped , gang banged, it just goes on and on. It is wise to read about real life experiences between a Dominant and Submissive, a Daddy and his Baby girl, or a Master and Slave. This way you get the real life of people and not just fiction.
If you are considering the lifestyle to any degree you need to do a lot of research, on all levels. Before taking your first step try and figure out where you may fall in the realm of submission. Maybe a pet , a baby girl, a submissive , or maybe just a bedroom submissive wanting to get your kink on from time to time.
Once you have somewhat narrowed it down, now is the time to find the right partner. I have always said the easiest way is to get active in the community. Hitch on to other who are submissive, more than likely they will be able to point you in the right direction. They will also tell you who to stay away from.
Meeting someone on line can turn into a good thing at times, but you really have no idea who you are meeting. Remember on line we can be who and what we want. We can pose as anyone, and your going to believe them. Most new submissive’s are really naive and are easily persuaded with very little effort. I am not saying your stupid but it is the not knowing, the not knowing a lot. You not knowing can get you hurt.
If you ask people for advice and you get the same answer from two or three, then you should listen, in the end it may pay off.
So your ready to be a slave, being a slave is usually 24/7 TPE a Total Power Exchange. The relationship between two is consensual as it should be. Being a Master and Slave living apart seldom works, even more so if your long distance.
Second you both have to enter the relationship with a full understanding of what is going to happen, and what is expected from both. Remember there has to be a Bitch in the house.
This takes much thought on the slaves side, the slave has to help things move along as well. Think before speaking, or acting. Learn to control your anger , this takes practice just as it does with a Master. Voices should never have to be raised at each other, there is not need after all we are adults. If the Master loses his temper and starts yelling who is really in charge. Why would a Slave respect someone who cannot stay in control.
You the Slave, will lose all rights , you will have no say , unless and there is an unless, you are going to be harmed, or your Master is going to do something that could be departmental to the home, other than those two factors you have no say.
A slave if no children in home should be nude at all times, and available for use. Being nude gives the salve a more slavish feeling, being full exposed. The knowing they can be used at a moments notice. Being nude also gives a feeling of being vulnerable. These are little mindsets to keep your slave in that mode.
You are told what to wear, how to walk, talk, sleep and what to eat and how much. You will be instructed on how to act in front of others, you will follow protocols when out in public with your Master or alone.
You the Slave you are a direct reflection of your Master when out. You are expected to carry yourself accordingly. Now there are choices and consequences.
An M’s relationship can be a beautiful thing, it can be a very loving well structured home. As with anything you need to make the right choices, after all this is your life.
I will continue with more this week.