Archive for the inhibitions Category

If I Control Your Mind

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anger, Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, being used, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Dominance, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Patience, Protocol, Respect, Rules, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 15, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

How much of her submission do you want ? Have you ever wanted a Slave or submissive who has no inhibitions? Have you ever wanted a slave or submissive who is 100% compliant ?
Have you ever wanted a relationship where the word argue is not in either ones vocabulary?
Have you ever wanted a Docile pet, Baby Girl, submissive or slave ?
Do you want someone who will follow you without question ?

The truth is you can have all of the above and more. The bad news is it takes a little work on your part, the Dominant, yes you are going to have to put in a little effort.

You know I was chatting with a Dom on Facebook the other day, and he told me his life was basically a wreck, and when I told him he needed a plan, he laughed at me. He laughed and he meant it.

If you the Dominant enters a relationship and you are true about what you want and need, and your willing to put your slave or submissive first, dedicate the time that is needed, you can have anything you want, and I do mean anything, and without question.

Some of you are going to say dude your full of shit, there is no such thing as a relationship like that is there?
I am here to tell you I am living the dream, and you the Dominant can live the dream as well.

BDSM is not about pain or how many bruises you can leave. BDSM is not about humiliation. BDSM is not about barking orders. Most of all BDSM is not about demanding respect or submission, it is about earning both.

You can never demand submission, it does not work that way, but some have it in their mind, I am Dominant and you will submit.
You may luck out and find a submissive who is down and out with a low self esteem, who will follow you for a short time, and meet your silly demands, but that bull shit is so short lived.

Control, that word openings up a whole new world. If your truly in control of yourself, your life, your surroundings the moon is the limit.
Being in full control, you will earn respect, you will earn the right to be called Sir, or Daddy even Master. Those titles what ever they are worth are earned. If you have to demand they mean nothing, nothing at all.

So we go a little deeper, instead of telling someone to crawl to you, or having trouble enforcing rules, not wanting to follow rules.
Why not have someone who wants to crawl to you, or someone who has the need to follow rules, the need to please ?

A D’s or M’s relationship is really easy, it does not require any drama, , no yelling, no getting angry and losing your temper. Just being who you say you are, just doing what you say your going to do, and keep your word, and be nothing but truthful….

Being truthful will help you earn the trust that is needed, and earning the trust will also lead to submission.

One thing that gets to me, is a Dom will say you must always be truthful and he is living a lie. You cannot expect someone to be someone if you are not who you are suppose to be…

This strategy will not only work is a D’s or M’s relationship but much of this can work in a vanilla relationship.

We as men, Dominant or not, we have to value our partner , we have to respect and be thankful for who and what they are, because in the end they are the only ones who will have our back in a time of need.

If you control their mind , for the most as well all know BDSM is mental, BDSM is communication, BDSM is about control and not controlling, BDSM is about having patience, BDSM is about understanding and caring about ones needs.

Being able to fully understand your partner and what makes them tick.
Being able to let your partner rant or share their thoughts without getting angry. Being able to understand when they are feeling funky and just letting them alone for a while.
You would not believe how many arguments could be avoided by using this practice.

You have to learn when it is okay to ignore certain situations and when some needs to be addressed.

I screw everything up, it is all my fault, I did it, I cant do anything right. Come on you have all heard this.
There are times when you just stay quite and let things pass, instead of drilling to find out what is wrong.

I mentioned how important the journal is, this gives the Dominant a great tool to find out where his slave or submissive is coming from.

Communication, several times a day I ask Arianna what is on her mind. She knows this is free time, she can share her thoughts and we talk about them.
Even if it is something that was brought up before, we should be open to talk about it.
Well we have already talked about that so there is no need to bring it up again.
Sure there is and it may have greater importance this time around.

This is how we access the open communication. The slave or sub will feel they can now talk about anything and everything.
This is also a step in the right direction when it comes to trusting.

Although we want to know what they are thinking, we want to know why they are thinking it. I know it sounds complicated but it is really not.

I mentioned the first 90 days of training. The training process is more effective if the two are living together.
Reason being there has to be some form of consistency while training if not , the process can take much longer. The 90 days does not mean training is completed because it never really ends.
As we grow we learn, and the more we learn the more we share. We also want our property to grow as well.

Living together allows you to put rules and protocols in place and the Dominant can be sure they are being followed.

If you the Dominant are in the right frame of mind, your property will want to follow without question.

Getting into the mind that is where you want to be. You should know your property inside out. You want to learn things they have never told anyone else.

Whether you know it or not when you the Dominant shows anger this is a weakness, and it is a weakness they slave or submissive will use against you.
These are buttons that can be pushed and will be pushed. Anger controlling anger take a lot of control and self training.
You want to figure the slave or sub out, what makes them tick, their thoughts , their needs, but if they ever figure you out, it is game over, and showing your anger, and being abusive, be it verbal, mental or physical, you just might as well pack up your bags.
Being happy in a relationship is one thing, but a submissive no matter how happy they may be if they are not getting what they need, it will be found somewhere else.
I know I am speaking from experience. Once you lose that control, it is nearly impossible to regain, I know I lost.
The best way to start is to think before you speak, think about how it is going to sound coming out of your mouth.

An angry mans words are a calm mans thoughts, that is true, just like a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts. So thinking before we speak, taking in that deep breath, really makes a world of difference.

The calmer your are, the more in control you are, the greater the submission will grow.

What many of us fail to see is there is no right way, we all have different needs, finding the right partner to fill that void is the right way.
The last thing we should do or want to do is try to change someone. We can improve but to change is not fair…

mind

Vile

Spanking , Sucking Cock ,And Yea Baby Anal Sex

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, Adrenaline, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, ass play, ass to mouth, Baby Oil, bdsm, blow job, Consensual, control, cum, Cumming, Discipline, Dominant, endorphin's, Face Fucking, FaceBook Vile Woods, foreplay, fuck hole, Giving Head, I own every hole, inhibitions, Loyal, Master And Slave, masturbation, oral sex, Pain, peaking, sex, slave, slave dress, Slave no rights, Spanking, sub-space, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submit, sucking cock on July 6, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

My three favorite subjects.

A little bit of information about Arianna and I, Although we are TPE Master and Slave, in a no rights relationship, I am not into pain. The thing that many do not understand pain does not have to be part of the lifestyle, I am more into the Discipline part, structure,and protocols. Those three things are very important to me.

I am more into the control aspect of the relationship, and I am very fortunate to of found Arianna.

99% of the time if a man is successful in life it is because of his wife, because she was smart enough to put the home together,she was smart enough to save, she was smart enough to insure the family was taking care of.

The Slave or Submissive makes the Dominant, they make the Master. They give reason, they give drive,and I know everyday I give thanks.

I am thankful I have Arianna, I am thankful she is so compliant, I am thankful she allowed me to collar her, and become my property. I am thankful she is honest, and loyal. I am thankful she is so understanding. I am also thankful she understands my personality knowing there is a great chance I will embarrass her in public,because that is just me.

The sexual side of things, I am also thankful she really knows how to suck cock, I am thankful she knows how to use her pussy muscles, and I am thankful she has a nice ass. I hat to see Arianna leave but I love to watch her go. She has this awesome bubble butt. It also makes for more pleasure when I am up behind her fixing to slide my cock in.

Three things I require before entering a relationship, you suck cock, you swallow, and anal sex, if you say no to anyone of those three, our conversation is over, because I refuse to settle for less.

Now here is something interesting , if and when we add a sister to our home, I will not require those things. That way Arianna is giving something special if that makes since.

Arianna sleep nude every night, no clothes are allowed while she is in bed. Most of the time Arianna is nude while home. The first thing she does once home is shower, shave, and then I may allow clothes. If I do allow she has a slave dress she wears, there are two, I picked both out, and they are nothing pretty.

Female endorphins are released during play. It does not have to do anything with pain, just the erotic part of playing, the foreplay, fingering anal teasing.
The releasing of endorphins this is the process of reaching sub-space, again pain is not need to reach sub-space. It is the mind set between the two of you, how well your minds are acting as one.
Arianna gets goofy, she starts to ramble, talking and making no sense, other get numb and feel as though they are going to pass out, they have no control over their surroundings. Many believe pain is needed to reach Sub-Space but that is just not true. It is also true sub-space is not going to be reached every time.
Sub-space is mental and nothing more, this is the point and time you have truly giving your all because you feel comfortable enough being with your partner.

Spanking if done right and your partner is truly into erotic spanking you can have the endorphin release. just like sucking on her clit and she cums.

I was seeing a slave at one time who got off on needle play, and the look on her face was pure Ecstasy.
Now the way I learned how to do needle play was, yup on myself , I stuck several in me because I wanted to know what the feeling was like, all your doing is breaking the skin, there is little to no blood involved. From the first needle she was floating, and her body became limp, she had no clue to what was going on around her.

Spanking is the same thing, nerve endings, and if your partner is truly into spanking, again you have the endorphin release.

Bent over exposing herself, legs spread just a little for her pussy lips are exposed, as you stand behind her telling her not to fucking move, and you hand makes contact, with your hand cupped it makes the sound louder than it really is. I have found the use of baby oil, well if your into like special effects, it sounds louder than the slap really is. Switching from cheek to cheek, if you cup her pussy you can feel it getting wet.

Sucking cock, I see sucking cock as being submissive, many do not because to some it is just sucking cock. But being told how to do it, guiding their movements, I set the pace. your either just going to lay there sucking and french kissing my cock while its in your mouth, or ill put one hand on your chin and the other on your forehead and I will do all the work, from top to very bottom. Sometimes I want to cum and others I do not want to lose that moment, because well it just feels so fucking good.

I say Lube my cock, I hear Arianna say with my mouth or Lube. That is just fucking hot, there are no questions, no hesitation she knows what is next. Once lubed , my command is on hands and knees, she knows then to reach around and put a hand on each cheek and spread her ass open. Remember the Training?
Come on girl back up on it, I put my cock right at the entrence, come on girl back up on it, inching backwards hands still on ass cheeks, yea I am in, NASA we have landed.
I just sit there and wait, feeling her ass muscles grip my cock. I move her hands I reach up and grab a handful of hair, and I slowly start fucking. I let the head come almost all the way out, then back in.

At times I will instruct Arianna to get her vibrator because I am going to let her cum, while I am fucking her ass. sometimes I cum in her ass, but she is so beautiful, I love watching my cock slide in and out of her mouth, so once she cums I pull out I get on my back and I tell her to put her face to work.
Once finished and I pull her head up by her hair, it is a sign of beauty with all the slobber dripping from her mouth.

Then Arianna says in a very low voice. Thank You.

Vile

Let Me Tell You Ladies Something

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Annoyed, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Collar, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Dating, Deception, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, fucking, Gagged, Giving Head, Humiliation, inhibitions, Lie, Master, Meeting, Mini Skirts, No Inhibitions, No Panties, non-consensual, pussy, Respect, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick on November 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Warning Signs Of A Fake Dominant.

I am not or was not just speaking out of my ass, I have been there. I am not saying I was a fake, but I learned at a very young age how to manipulate the system, meaning how to get into a submissive’s head. That is what it is all about to begin with the Dominant being able to get into ones head. If he cannot do that he cannot control. It is you the submissive who allows this.

Yes I am guilty of a lot of messed up things. The hunt was exciting, the kill was a total rush. I was not looking for love I had one thing on my mind and that was getting my cock sucked and pussy nothing more. As I grew older it was not until my early 30’s I realized I wanted more. I had to find the one. It was then I found out the hunt was not as easy because this time I had a goal. I needed more so I had to be more selective in my search. I had three long term relationships all three were slaves. One after almost seven years her mother grew ill and she moved back to Korea. the second was my fault because I lost control, because I let my feelings get in the way. Now the love of my life Arianna

Everything I am going to tell you is the truth I have nothing to gain from misleading you

I am speaking as a man from past experience’s . So now what I am trying to do is make things right, give good valuable advice, if you listen you listen if you don’t well I tried.

Beware of the closet Dom, he is ego driven, nothing more. He will lead you down a path of total destruction and never look back, and when he is done he will wash his hands and move on.

BDSM is not about SEX. BDSM is not about SUCKING COCK or Laying on your back. BDSM is a relationship where the two form a bond that cannot be broken, BDSM is about communication and open communication. You as a submissive should be able to express your feelings with out being judged or talked down to.

So when first meeting you only give out information you think you need to, nothing to private, no problems, if you suffer from depression or anything else that should not be brought up, for sometime. This is ammunition that can and will be used against you. This is how a closet Dom gets in your head he preys on your problems. He will tell you trust me I will make everything alright. I can and want to help you. I am here for you.  Listen because if you think this has happened to you before.

What makes one a Dominant ? What makes one a Master ? these are questions you should ask. If you think of a question then ask, do not be afraid to ask in fear of ruining a date, because if you do not ask he will not volunteer any information.

You need to have a plan put in place a list of questions, and make sure all questions are answered. If he seems like he is getting a little agitated then something is wrong. You the submissive is conducting the interview.

If you did not fuck on your first date, why would you think you would on the first meeting with a potential Dom. To prove your submissive ? Fucking or sucking cock on the first date does not prove anything . At this point he is already halfway through the hunt.

A huge red flag if the Dominant talks about a collar on the first meeting. In my eyes it really takes about six to eight months before someone should ever consider offering a collar. A collar is earned , a collar is just not giving out. Would you marry a man on your first date? I would not think so. If not why would you just be willing to hand over complete control of your life ?

Passwords is another huge flag. Although I do have access to Arianna’s phone I to this day have none of her passwords. Why is this, for one I am not ego driven, and two I trust her. It is not to say that one day I may have her log into her email , because I have that right and she knows it. Your passwords are just that yours. Even in a D’s or M’s relationship we still need some privacy. If he gets angry because you do not wish to share, then just walk away.

You have to be best friends, you have to enjoy being around each other. Going out and doing things together, laughing and joking. You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it just does not happen that way, although you are always in that frame of mind.

If you find out your spending more time on your knees and in the sitting position then guess what ? You have been had, you are just another victim another notch in his belt.

We all want the same thing out of life. A partner we can depend on, someone we can let all of out inhibitions flow away. We want to be able to share everything,but more so we want to know we are loved.

You do not have to spread your legs to prove your submission, you do not have to suck cock to prove your submission. You do not have to clean his house to prove your submission. You prove your submission by being who you are.

To allow someone to take you to a motel on the first meeting, that is just insane. We are human not cats we only have one life and to give that life up to try and prove your submissive is just plain crazy.

If you get with a Dom who is not experienced and he is into impact play you can really get fucked up. Even rope bondage you can get hurt if your not tied correctly. You can hurt muscles and damage tendons that is a fact. Impact play if you can lose a kidney if you are hit to high. Your tail bone can be broken. You can get hurt, and your not going to tell anyone how it happen due to the humiliation.

I said this yesterday once you are tied down spread eagle, blindfolded and gagged you are fair game. He can do anything to you he wants, and you will get hurt, or worse. Do not play with your life, you have nothing to prove.

Image

Vile

You as a submissive or slave has rights, you not only have to agree to a Doms terms but he has to agree to yours as well. You do not have to submit until the Dom has agreed to your terms and your rules.

Number one, you should know where he works. You should have his phone number and have the abilty to call when ever you have the need . You should have the ability to text when you have the need and expect a reply in a timely manner. A timely manner is not the next day. You should have his address to where he lives and the ability to see him when you have the need. He should be willing to introduce you to his friends and co-workers. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Do not ever let a Dom tell you what you are going to wear on the first meeting. Most women would not feel comfortable wearing a short skirt with no panties meeting a total stranger

Sub space Does Not Have To Equal Pain

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Session, blindfold, Bound, Consensual, control, Dominants, Ego, emotional, Emotions, endorphin's, erotic, Fear, Hot Wax, Ice, inhibitions, masochist, Master, music, Pain, sadist, Safe, Sensory Deprivation, session, slave, sub-space, Submission, submissive on October 2, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sherri was a true Masochist in almost seven year that bitch did not cry one time, with the exception of us parting. I had never seen anything like it. A belt, a single tail whip, or with a flogger with each strike her eyes would just glaze over. I remember our first session, I did not have a clue to what was going to happen or what I was going to do. She knew I was fairly new to the lifestyle so I let her instruct me. When I left her house some five hours later, I was scared to death, that bitch was black and blue from the neck down. I had even broken skin open in some places and she would just run her fingers across the cuts, and just moan. At times she could not even speak, her eyes just staring off into space with each contact the whip would make.

In the beginning it was fun well with the exception of the first session. I would have a bad week and I could take all of my frustration out on her, and she enjoyed it. A couple of years passed and my side of the enjoyment was coming to an end, along with the pain and the much needed humiliation it was now a task, a task that had to be out done from the last. It was taking it’s toll on me.

I was not in love I had not been nor would I of ever been, in the seven years being together I never fucked her one time, she sucked a lot of dick, but I never banged her. To this day I am not sure why, I just did not have that connection or the want. Maybe I did not want to develop any feelings. The only thing I truly liked and enjoyed the word NO never came out of her mouth. The words I can’t never came out of her mouth. Today that is not so important to me, I suppose back then I had somewhat of an ego.

Subspace you must be able to get into the mind of the submissive, the same if you want a relationship with a submissive or slave the Dominant must be able to get into their mind. To be able to figure them out, know what they are thinking, you must know your partner inside out.

Subspace is not obtainable every time you play it may not happen every twenty times you play. Some say they are able to achieve subspace every session but I find that hard to believe, I am not saying it is not possible, I would think it would be hard. Subspace also depends on the submission you are playing with, if you fully have control, if the submissive has giving herself to you mind and body.

You can actually achieve subspace without even touching the submissive, the idea is during play to confuse the mind, a type of sensory deprivation , I have blogged about this before with just blindfolding, music ,incense and being bound.  I have been wanting to try this on Arianna but our work schedules are pretty full. As a matter of fact although we do play it is not near as often as I would like.

You tie your submissive up, blindfold her, you have two or three CD player , playing different music at a low volume, you lite two or three different incense, then comes the hot wax, and the ice cubes. The mind cannot possibly process everything that is going on. You have the submission, she is tied spread. She is blindfolded. At this point the submissive feels vulnerable, now adding everything else, not speaking just mostly watching, this is where it all begins.

It may not work the first session but it will. I am also not sure how it would work in a vanilla relationship I have never tried it. When one hits subspace you are confusing the mind, most of the time with pain, but pain does not have to play a part in order for them to hit subspace.  Some enjoy pain some get off on pain even the thought of it, then some do not. If they are not into pain or they cannot take it, you will do more damage than good. I have heard Doms say I can train you to take pain, that is a load of crap.

I have a huge surprise for Arianna this weekend.

Try it you might like it.

 

Vile

Being A Slave Is Hard Or Is It ?

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Argue, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Bipolar, Bond, Breaking Rules, communication, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Conversation, Depressed, Depression, Discipline, Dominants, dress, emotional, ethics, Fear, Giving Head, Health, Honesty, inhibitions, Lie, Lies, Master, men begging, Molding, molding your slave, No Inhibitions, No Panties, No Rights, oral, oral sex, Patience, Private Protocol, problems, Protocol, Protocol public, punish, Punishment, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, sucking dick, Task, Total Slavery, TPE on September 25, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Those who wake with an unknown feeling, a feeling of not being complete, they are not sure where these feelings arrived from or where their thoughts came from. They begin to do a lot of research in hopes of finding answers. Then they stumble across a BDSM site or erotic stories, and things become more clearer.

Then the search Dominant after Dominant until they find the right fit , the right connection, or after being played a couple of times.

I would imagine that giving up 100% of freedom could be a scary thought. Being told what to do, how to act, how to dress, how to speak, what to eat or cook, when to bath, when to go to bed, and then being punished for breaking a rule.

To go from your boyfriend begging for sex or begging to get his dick sucked, to someone just telling you to spread, or get on your knees. Maybe anal sex was off limits now there is no choice, you do it because your now owned.

These are big changes, these are huge changes.  These are changes you never would of even thought off until a year ago, or maybe they have been thoughts for a long time but you had no idea on how to put things into place.

It is not that the changes are difficult, scary yes difficult no. It is how you are brought through these changes, what actions are taking to get you to the point of where you need to be. I can tell you it is probably harder if not almost impossible if you know you are not truly cared for. Eh it works for a short period of time, but when reality hits you and you discover this dude is a piece of shit, you pack up move on and begin your search again, and maybe again, and again until you get it right.

Two key words come to mind, resistance and consistency. Almost every Slave will put some or a lot of resistance when it comes to submitting. It is not that they do not want to, they are scared and they have every right to be.

Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

I have seen this time and time again, when it happens it is always the Bitches fault, yea she was a bad submissive, or a bad slave she would not listen or follow rules. Just listen to that last statement. Who’s fault is that now? The blame always goes on the Bitch. No it could never be me I am the almighty Master. It was not long ago I told a Dom he was a piece of shit and he should rethink his place within the lifestyle. We had a couple over for dinner not long ago when they left I told Arianna what the out come of their relationship would be, sure enough they are no longer together.

Be it a Submissive or Slave, we have to be able to get into their heads, we have to know what makes them think, their thought process, and I can tell you if your not true or you do not care it will not happen. Just look at the time you have wasted just because you wanted some pussy.

Resistance equals consistent one giving equals one caring, you cannot just take or demand. You as the Dominant has to earn every step you take. Respect you have to earn it is not something we can demand.

Most who are submissive or a slave are on some type of medication, why is this? I do not have a fucking clue, most who are a Submissive or Slave suffers some type of depression maybe Bi-Polar? Why is this again I do not have a fucking clue.  So we as Dominants cannot just step in balls to the wall, we have to put a plan together because we do not want to bring any harm to ours. Yea okay I look over some things nothing major but I do not just sit around hoping Arianna will break a rule, as a matter of fact she will do everything in her power not to break a rule. I set that Ass on fire one time and that is all it took.

We can never figure out why someone is depressed if you try your just wasting time. So instead we work with them, we try to somewhat understand but we will never fully. Go to doctors appointments with them study their medication. Most of all we do not want to push them over the cliff. I had a counselor tell me not long ago that she agreed with our lifestyle, and the way our home was ran was beneficial  to Arianna, and almost a year it has worked well, we have had a few ups and downs but more ups I can assure you.

Starting a new relationship the Submissive / Slave has a wall in place. What we have to do is take it down one brick at a time, while this is on going we are still hitting this resistance button , the reason that button is still there is the lack of trust. While most would like trust is not built over night. So again the same words, Consistency or being consistent this is where most Dominants fail. Why is this ? Because once in a relationship be it a D’s or M’s WOW this is fucking work, I actually have to put forth an effort if this is going to work. Keeping your cool staying calm, keeping your word, showing that you care, you listen, and most of all you communicate. If you as a Dominant miss any of these steps you will fail, and it is no ones fault except yours.

If you cannot control your Submissive or Slave Don’t put the blame on them, it was not them who failed it was us who failed them. We gave them false statements, we led them to believe something that was not true.

If you fail at communication, it is pretty much over. Most of the time a Slave will not volunteer and information, so we have to be willing to spend the time to communicate, if you really care this comes natural. Set aside 15 minutes a day so you can just sit and talk. Hold conversation over dinner, while driving. Communication is the main key, if your going to wait for them to spill their guts guess what? It will never happen.

There has to be an astronomical amount of fear when a Slave enters a relationship, they have no idea what to expect, more so if it is their first relationship. That is why you need a plan , and you need a back up plan, and another back up plan.

I was lucky when I met Arianna the resistance level was almost zero, even so I knew I had to stay consistent. The first ninety days is the tell , tell of everything. It will tell the slave if they are truly a slave and it will tell the slave if the Dominant is real.

Asking to sit at the Dinner table, not taking a bite of food before I do. Kneeling at the door when I return from work. anticipating my needs, kneeling in the bathroom while I shower, it goes on and on, but again the key word is consistency.

Rules some just fucking kill me, Rule one you must worship my cock. Rule 2 you must masturbate every night before bed while we are talking on the phone. Rule 3 you must send me nude pics everyday. Rule 4 you will never wear panties in my presence. You have seen and heard these rules. Rules are meant to be beneficial to a slave. We take old habits and make new positive ones. Yea some do call it training I have before, I like the word molding. We are molding someone to fit our needs, or training. We are taking someones life and turning it inside out. We are taking someone who once had a resistance factor and taking the word NO or i cant out of their vocabulary. Again this all comes with being consistent and in control.

The bottom line is, if we remain who we say we are, if we prove who we say we are, if we put ours first no matter what, if we take care of ours, if we do not abuse with a bunch of worthless rules, if we remain true and yes consistent then there is only resistance for a short time.

The Slave already knows who and what they are, they already know who they want to be, we just have to take one brick down at a time, brush our hands off and take their hand and walk with them.

We as a Master are expected to live by certain standards we have a creed we must follow, we must always be truthful when speaking. We must earn what we get.

The rewards for both are just amazing, it can be the most loving relationship you have ever known. The Master will want for nothing at all. The out come is what you make of it.

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Vile

Aftercare And Being Proactive

Posted in abuse, Adrenaline, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, Conversation, Depressed, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, erotic, Humiliation, inhibitions, Master, No Inhibitions, Pain, Patience, pleasure, proactive aftercare, provocative, punish, relationships, Respect, Safe, session, slave, Spanking, Sub Drop, Submission, submissive on September 13, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Aftercare BDSM

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In the context of the sexual practice of BDSM, aftercare is the process of attending to one another after intense feelings of a physical or psychological nature relating to BDSM activities.

BDSM experiences can be exhausting; and drain the participants of mental, emotional or physical energy. As a result, one or all participants may require emotional support, comfort, reassurance, and/or physical tenderness. Along with this, he or she may experience everything from an exhilaration to traumatization. Aftercare also may include a review or “debriefing” of the activities from experiences of both the dominant and the submissive.

Some participants may wish to be left alone or have other means of processing the experience. While the desire to be left alone could stem from just needing rest, it could also result from no longer feeling safe in the current environment or situation.

Common aftercare practices may include hugging, kissing, hair-stroking, cuddling, words of praise or gratitude, or general affirmation of an emotional bond between partners. Occasionally, more “vanilla” sexual activities such as intercourse or oral sex following an intense scene may also be considered as part of aftercare.

It is often thought in a submission/dominant relationship, only the submissive requires aftercare following BDSM activities. However, a dominant may require less, just as much, or more aftercare depending on the scene, person, experience level, and other factors. The role of submissive or dominant is unrelated to the amount of aftercare someone needs and should not be thought of as a metric in this regard.

In long distance relationships, a potentially useful practice when engaged in remote BDSM activities is to facilitate aftercare by the exchange of emotionally significant items which can be clung to for reassurance, though success of this depends on both parties’ level of emotional investment in the relationship.

If you sat down and wrote a list about your needs while in a M’s or D’s relationship Aftercare should be the first at number one, not two or three or five or six, number one. Here in a few I will explain my proactive aftercare.

You start playing or maybe you call it a session, maybe your submissive or slave is into hard impact play. Maybe you the Dom enjoys getting rough, but the submissive is really not into the rough play but goes along with to please. If your anything like me my play time can last for an hour or more.

During this time the sub is giving all they have, physically , and mentally, as well as emotionally. We take what is giving and then more. We want satisfaction out of our play time. Sometimes we go as far as pushing limits, just to see how far we can take our property. If we have pushed or maxed a limit we the Dominant gains a high, a rush, the adrenaline starts to flow. I have gotten so excited I have had to take a break so I could gather my thoughts, catch my breath, and the submissive is just laying there waiting not knowing what is on the Dominants mind, or how much longer the session is going to go on for.

After play this is when the first of aftercare kicks in, communication should be the first, asking and digging for questions. We want to know where they are at right now, what their thoughts are, how they are feeling. Talk about any limits that were pushed.  This is very important, we need to know if we pushed to far, what if the submissive did not like something it should be talked about, maybe there is another avenue we can take to make that part of the session different.  Many will play and give even if they are getting nothing out of it, this is done just to please.

Now on the other side at times we ignore aftercare, let me explain. I have met those who are submissive and Slaves who wanted to be broken. I have been asked a couple of times, but I have declined both times. First of all I did not want that type of responsibility. I did not want to be responsible for bring them down and then bringing back up. I am not sure why someone would need such a thing, but we all have our needs, Breaking someone is just not my thing. Breaking a Slave takes time, I have seen it done and it is not pretty, nor did I take part. To each their own we all have different needs within the lifestyle, so I do not judge anyone for their actions. The breaking of a Slave should only be considered if the two are entering a long term relationship, and the Slave must be sure of this. If it is just short term the after effects could be devastating.

We should hold while in the aftercare mode, we should praise, speak very highly of. We should cover every part of the scene, being sure to not miss anything. Okay I am guilty of not going into the full aftercare mode at times, but when it does come to aftercare I am proactive.

Constant praise on a daily basis. Many spend way to much time waiting on theirs to break a rule, or make a mistake, so they can correct or punish. Many Doms get off on just punishing. Degrading, humiliation. More so the new ones who have entered the lifestyle. Reading books, or looking at pictures, many for what ever reason cannot get past the pictures.

After a session or play we need to ask questions, we want to know where there thoughts are. What did they like? What did they not like? Do they want to try something different? We should hold and caress, make the two feel as one.

Proactive aftercare constant praising , when something is done comment about it.  The idea is to build up, make one feel confident. We want to build up their self esteem if needed and in most cases it is needed. This is what I mean by being proactive.

If aftercare is not performed sub drop occurs and despite what most think I do believe sub drop can be prevented with the practice of aftercare. Sub drop occurs mostly when the two do not live together, and the submissive is left alone. Getting together while in a long distance relationship every now and then, sub drop will happen.

The proper aftercare is very important we being different aftercare will vary from submissive to submissive. Some after play want to be left alone for a period of time, giving them time to gather their thoughts and feelings, while some do not want any aftercare at all. I do believe sub drop can be prevented despite what others think.

You the submissive if you feel this area is being neglected speak up, you have this right to insure you are being taking care of, you have the right to express your needs.

I am telling you from experience, if aftercare is giving and the proper amount, what use to be limits will soon start to fade away, what use to be inhibitions will soon begin to fade away. The more we as Dominants care and we show we care the more the submissive will want to give.

Aftercare is a must.

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Vile

BDSM And Hypnosis

Posted in abuse, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, control, Covert Emails, Depression, Hypno Dom, Hypnosis, Hypnotist, Induction Letters, inhibitions, oral sex, Safe, slave, Submission on September 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I invited a Hypnotist to our home Monday night , and it was somewhat interesting. There was no kink involved and that is not the purpose of the invite.

The reason for the invite was because of Arianna’s interest in Hypnosis and nothing more. Her interest are mine as well. Sometime ago before we had met, she had seen a Hypno Dom who was very abusive, and he had bruised her pretty bad, but she was still interested in hypnosis afterwards.

Since meeting Arianna I have spoken to a couple of Submissive’s who had either met this Hypno Dom or who had revived what you would call covert emails or induction emails. I have blogged about this before but this is just an update.

While some may just laugh the emails off, it does have an effect on others. Just like some can be hypnotized and some cannot. Arianna is somewhat easy to go under, the hypnotist stayed for about three hours.

There are Hypnosis groups on FetLife but if you do a search they will not come up. It may have something to do with the liability not sure. I do have the link if anyone should be interested.

I made a post showing my interest in Hypnosis mainly due to my slaves interest, I had several comments and everyone was willing to jump in and help, Via cam that is. I started a conversation with one and he offered to write an induction letter for Arianna to read. After I received it I went through it took some out and added some so it was more geared as if it was coming from me. The whole purpose of the hypnosis idea was Arianna wanted to feel more submissive, or slaveish nothing more. Well the induction letter had a weird effect, every time she would read it she would have an orgasm. When she read it while I was present it did not have the same effect.

Hypnosis takes a great deal of trust, I have been doing research on the subject for sometime now. J is the first I have met who did not want something in return, most of the time they want sex, and um that is not going to happen, but J seemed genuine in wanting to help.

Once someone is hypnotized you can implant key words, triggers or power suggestions , so once awake you can use the key words to get the reaction your looking for. Arianna’s interest again is the need to feel more submissive, only she will know when she reaches that state. In my eyes she is the perfect Slave.

So we are going to plan one more session for sure maybe two. The first session was putting her under. I have no interest in asking any questions, or trying to get into her past, I pretty much know everything anyway.

The next session will be geared more towards BDSM the power of submission, and we will see if we are able to reach our goal, if yes then that would be awesome, if no well then it was fun anyway.

J had told me that he thought I wanted it to benefit me , such as maybe I wanted anal sex, well that is not the case because I get the ass anytime I want without question, I get head anytime without question as a matter of fact I get asked once or even twice a day if she can give me head. Sex is not my goal I get sex anytime. My goal is to help Arianna. I cannot see where she needs to be more submissive, but again this is her train of thought. I can understand why someone would not feel submissive 24/7 but maybe it is a need.

Now before you start thinking of all kinds of kinky shit, if you do hypnotize someone they are not going to do anything that will go against their morals, or something that would get them in trouble.

The mind is a powerful machine, some can be put under while some cannot be. A good way to find out if your submissive can be put under, try putting together an induction letter. Make sure it is long meaning more than one page. Make the induction letter fit the two of you, with your own key works, or trigger words. In the induction letter your trigger words should be repeated throughout so they are concentrating on your triggers. Have your submissive read it two or three times a day.

Putting someone under is really not that difficult, the main thing is making sure they are relaxed, eyes closed and you begin with a story, a place they would like to be. This can take anywhere from 15 minutes to a half hour. There is much more to it but this is just the basic’s

I believe hypnosis can be beneficial in a relationship. Helping one to set their fears aside, or being more productive, maybe even help some with depression, shrugs who knows the limits.

We will see how things go this could be fun.

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Vile