Archive for the It Is Our Responsibility Category

Are You Codependent ?

Posted in abuse, anticipation, anxiety, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, codependent, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, It Is Our Responsibility, Master And Slave, self confidence, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Arianna’s mother and I have a love hate relationship. I suppose it is the fact I control everything when it comes to her daughter.

Her Mother does know about our lifestyle just as my family knows. The one thing her mother knows is Arianna is in a much better place, and that she appreciates.

So the topic came up a couple of weeks ago, while her mother and I were standing in the kitchen talking, and her mother made the comment about Arianna being Codependent . Is that how your lifestyle works you make your women codependent?

I said absolutely not , as a matter of fact Arianna has always been codependent, either you did not see it or you just did not care. The same goes for her past relationships, if they did see it they just did not want the responsibility

So I looked at her mother in the eye, and I said Arianna is codependent but I have perfected it.

While it is true many who are Submissive and more so those who are slaves are codependent, not all, I did not say all, Many.

This part is not abuse or maybe it is. A Dominant with zero experience has no idea how to deal with someone who is codependent, and it quickly becomes a burden. So either you find someone who knows what is going on, and work it from there, or you just say I am sorry I bit off more than I could chew. Because the longer you the Dominant sticks around the more damage you are doing.

Here is a little known fact about the medical profession, more so  when it come to counselors and Psychiatrists.

They are quick to tell you what the problem is, they are also quick to tell you what you should do to fix it, but they do not tell you how to fix it. So all the Psychiatrists is in real life is a pill pusher, because if you can mask the problem, you are no longer a problem.

Everyone is wired differently, we all think different, our brains are wired differently, our visions on how we see the world are different. You can tell someone what the problem is, and what they should be doing, but your missing the main ingredient , The How To.


So either we as Dominants expect ours for who they are, or you leave, because if you do neither, here comes your temper, he comes the anger, and here comes the abuse.

There is no life coach who can change you, maybe for a short time, but the first time something goes wrong, your right back where you started, but this time your alone.

In most cases Dominants make better Psychiatrists than Psychiatrists do. Did that even make sense?

The only difference is we are not allowed to write scripts.

So your codependent, that is perfectly fine if you are in the right hands. Because a good Dominant will lift you up just enough so you can act on your own. Remember the Behavior Modification?

 Again not everyone in the lifestyle is Codependent, but when you look at the whole picture the majority are.

It is okay to be you, it is okay to expect someone to except you for you, and not want to change you.

The only thing you truly want is to be understood and loved.




It Is Our Responsibility

Posted in 24/7, A Masters Creed, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, blow job, Bondage, Collar, Collars, communication, Consistency, consistent, control, Discipline, Dominants, Emotions, It Is Our Responsibility, kinky, Love, Master, molding your slave, Patience, Respect, Rules, serve, session, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on December 4, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The Slave is going to lay on her back , the Slave is going to suck your cock , the Slave is going to do most if not all of the cleaning, cooking, laundry.

You the Dominant are going to spend hours upon hours playing do what you like most and maybe touching on something the Slave enjoys but for the most it is about us.

We change their whole life , the way they talk, sometimes the way they walk, we impose rules that we would never follow ourselves. We give out protocols that must be followed. In some cases we choose their friends, Although Arianna has friends in the lifestyle I pick and choose. Although the last couple of friends have been a bad choice on my part I do make mistakes.

In the lifestyle our world of BDSM I have never met so many fake people in my life, male and female. I have never met so many bullshitters in my life, and what is really funny is when I know they are bullshitting and I just go along with it.

The thing is it is much easier to just be who and what you are, and you know what ? No matter how bad you are there is someone for you.

We as Dominant have very high expectations , I myself have very high standards , but sometimes you can set your standards so high your quest for a partner is just not obtainable. Then at times you lower your standards so low knowing it will not work, and you know this already but it is mainly for the companionship. The only time this is wrong is when you just use someone until something better comes along.  I myself have a conscious and feelings when it comes to just using someone for my personal use. I am not saying I have never settled for less because I have and yes knowing it was not going to work, but we are human we need than interaction. When it was my time to go I just left, it was not until I found someone better.

There is a creed we are suppose to live by, we are looked up to not only for comfort , not only for guidance , not only for love, not only for structure , not only for companionship , not only for communication , not only for the rules , not only for the kink. We are suppose to be their for ours 24/7 no questions asked.

A Slave does not ask for much , most Slaves are content with just being loved and cared for. Our creed we live up to our responsibility’s . We have to show we are who we say we are. We as Dominants have much more to prove , than the Slave does.

A Collar is earned, a Collar is just not giving just for the sake of owning someone. Then if that is the case it really has no meaning. You set out your plan your training. Tell what you expect and what it is going to take to earn a collar. Set goals and make sure they are followed through with. Once you decide to collar your Slave if she excepts it that is. Explain why you want to collar her, explain the meaning of the collar, explain your meaning of a collar, but most important explain what it takes to keep it.

We have a Responsibility to keep our word, to be who we told them we were.  to guide and protect. We teach what we have learned. We set our Slave up to excel not to fail. We listen and support their ideas, we listen and we communicate. Most of all we put ours first no matter what.

If every man, would just man up and be truthful he could have so much. It is the Slave who makes the Master, but it is a good Slave who makes a good Master, a Slave wants to see her Master excel as well and if the two work together the road never ends.

A Masters Creed – Author Unknown

As it is often important and often even necessary for one human being to have certainty and a clear understanding of the intentions, desires, motivations, and needs of another, I offer this testimony in trust and sincerity.

I am a dominant man. I am just that. I am not dominant because of any superiority on my part. Not because I feel more intelligent or wiser.

I am not dominant because of the strength or the mass of my body.

I am not, nor would I want to be dominant with all women.

Yet, to you I am Master.

I am your Master only after earning your trust and I embrace your submissiveness. I have looked into your heart and mind, and clearly see your desires and passions. You have thrown away your desires and passions. You have thrown away your fears and inhibitions. You tell me of the needs of your heart and body. You have given me total access to your soul, and I accept the responsibility and honor. You are a woman. You are not weak or inferior because of it. You are a treasure to be cherished. We are not equal. I have the strength of body and mind and the instinctive need to protect, possess, defend, and provide for you. You are a woman and instinctively stronger of will and heart. Your belief in me gives me courage and direction. Your strength disperses my doubt.

Your needs and desires encourage and give purpose to my efforts. We are not equal. We are halves of a whole. We complement each other and make each other complete. My desire to dominate you is instinctive. It is not to degrade you nor is it degrading to you because you are secure in being totally feminine. We each recognize and accept our worth, and our need for someone to trust and fulfill our needs.

You are sure, strong, and proud in your womanhood. You do not submit as acceptance of inferiority, but from strength and passion. You expect a man to stand strong and be a man. You desire and flourish in the strength and control of a man. In return you present control of your body, unqualified trust and honesty, and the faithfulness of your heart. You submit because I have earned your trust. Because I have opened my heart and soul to you. Because I have listened to your word with my ears and heart and have learned to anticipate your needs and emotions. And because I have proven worthy in your eyes, you have given me the only true treasure of life; you have given me dominance over you. What you give is not abnormal, but pure, natural, and the rarest gift a woman can give a man. You have given me complete and unshakable assurance of your commitment to me. Your submissiveness is a magnificent gift and sacred responsibility. I accept this from you with humility and joy. I understand the rarity and purity of this gift.

I recognize it is your body, mind, and soul. I dominate you only because you have allowed me to, and when I see your body kneel before me in my mind and heart, you are raised above all other women and all the treasures of the earth.

Within the bounds of our relationship…it is my duty to protect you, and that you will know, that under my care; NO harm will come to you as a result of actions taken by Me..or you. That is my responsibility, to protect you..from yourself if necessary. What you give freely cannot in reality be bought.

We as Dominants should have to live by this without question.