Archive for the journal Category

When Do You Give Up On Training On A Submissive

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Bad Dominant, Baggage, bdsm, Conform, Consensual, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, journal, Master, Protocol, punish, Punishment, serve, slave, Spanking, Structure, Submission, submissive, The New Dominant with tags on May 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is really a hard question to answer, but sometimes you do just have to say okay I am done , its not working.

The reason behind my way of thinking is there are many who are submissive or a slave who have never lived a 24/7 relationship. You feel submissive you think your submissive, everything you have read points to you.  Remember we as humans are visual people, while reading your taking in the information but your eyes make contact first. Then you see pictures, and fantasies come to mind, again the visual thing.

Training someone new is a huge task for the Dominant, but it can be just as hard to train someone who has years of experience, and I shall explain.

Training someone who has years of experience in the lifestyle most are set in their ways. Most already have expectations on what to expect, but then comes the comparing part. The new Dominant will always in most cases be compared.There are those times things just fall into place.

The submissive or slave who has never been with a dom, in the beginning stages is very excited at the thought or opportunity to be excepted and is very eager to begin their training.

Training should begin as soon as possible, from my past experience those who continue to put training off really have no clue on how to train. Just like the Dom I spoke about last week when he told me he was going to start training a baby girl, when asked what he planned on doing, his answer was the usual.  Which meant he really had no clue, and that is all he had to tell me but Mr Ego got in the way.

The new Novice Dominant is always willing to jump in head first. He has been waiting for his chance to prove himself. Just like the young wolf. The young wolf has been waiting for the chance to show the older wolfs he can stand his own ground but will learn very soon it is much more than what he thought. He will learn it is much more than just barking out rules and looking for reasons to punish. He will learn quick that if not well equipped he will fail.

So when do you just give up on training ? As I stated above the lifestyle to many is just a fantasy, once the submissive gets a taste of the lifestyle they may soon find out they have stepped into a world that is just not them. Maybe they are just submissive in the bedroom which is going to be the case most of the time, or they do not want to follow rules.

If you are just hitting dead ends while you are trying to train, and the submissive is putting up resistance and is not willing to adapt to your ways. Why would you want to exhaust to much time and energy on something that may never come to light.

If you find you are arguing, yelling at each other, why would either want to go through the trouble? One can be submissive in the bedroom but once outside its back to the normal. You cannot force someone to conform, it will never happen.

Start out by giving small task, a few rules, have the submissive start a daily journal. If the submissive is ready and truly wants to life the lifestyle they will follow through. You may need to correct somethings, ask questions if things are not completed , this is where communication comes into play.

If things are not going well and it has been a month or so, there is no need to keep trying, and it is neither ones fault…. One or two things, either the lifestyle was not for the submissive, or your not the right Dominant.

The best thing to do at this point is to part as friends.  Why stress yourself out over something that will never come to be.

Lastly if you are not 24/7 it is almost impossible to train your submissive. You are not there there for you truly do not have any real control.  If you have no control how can you possibly train.

When I first met Arianna I was somewhat skeptical just because of the way she had been treated by previous Doms, but once she moved in everything just fell into place. Arianna put up no resistance at all and was the most compliant slave I had met to date..

One thing that will surely help is if neither brings any bad baggage into the relationship. Baggage and drama will make you fail. The idea is to start out fresh and new.

As far as things not working out, it does not make you a bad dominant, it just means you were not the dominant for the submissive. , or the submissive was not right for you.

As far as the online thing I never understood that anyway.

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Vile

Our Relationship Has Taking A Turn

Posted in 24/7, A slaves passwords, Adapt, An Owned Slave, Arianna, bdsm, Consistency, consistent, control, Dominants, fetlife, fucking, journal, Master, Master And Slave, Masters, micromanage, owning a slave, Patience, Rules, slave, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Slavery, Total Submission, TPE on January 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Living as Master and Slave is really not as difficult as most think. It really depends on how much the Slave wants to Submit and how much the Master wants to give in return.

While I was searching , I knew what type of Slave I was looking for, I knew the qualities I was looking for, I knew the demeanor I was looking for in a Slave and the personality. I had in six months compiled several list and narrowed everything down to one. I took a little from each list and made one. I knew exactly what I was looking for, and I would not except anything less.

After meeting Arianna for the first time I was just in total awe, I cannot even begin to explain the next steps I was going to take and more so how I was going to proceed.

I remember my friend Kelly telling me after Arianna left, she said dude there is no way your going to pull that off. Kelly said she is the hottest female I have seen in a long time, there is no way. I looked at Kelly and said bet me, bet me anything.

After an hour and I heard nothing, I was thinking I just may lose this bet, then my phone beeped . I want to see you again tomorrow. I knew right then I was in like flint

So now I had to really think after learning just what type of relationship Arianna wanted, I had to decide if I was up to the task or not. Just the thought of a Micromanaged relationship put heavy thoughts on my shoulders. It is not that I could not do it, the question was did I want to invest that much time in a relationship.

Over a years time I had met with some 50 or so Slaves or who wanted to be a slave and I had no interest in any one. So for six months I just chilled. No looking, I had no interest. I needed to take a break and gather my thoughts. Maybe just maybe I had set my expectations to high. Maybe the slave I was looking for was not or could not be real. Maybe it was time to lower my standards a little, maybe I expected to much from one person. Maybe poly was the way to go. Nah fuck that at this point and time it was just a waiting game.

Micromanagement , you are taking control over someones life. You are taking full control over someones life. You are making there decisions , what to wear, how to talk, how to walk, when to eat, what to eat, There whole life is balled up and laying in your hands. When to sit, when to stand, when to go to bed, when to get up. How I wanted my cock sucked, how I liked to fuck. Wow that is a lot of responsibility .

At this point to add anything to our routine would not be like adding anything at all. Once you form a D’s or M’s relationship and the two are on the same page things just fall into place.

Arianna had brought something up about a week ago. She had stated that she did not feel her submission as much. I explained she does not see or feel as much because she lives it everyday. Everything she does on a daily basis comes natural.

In the past I have brought things up that I am truly against when it comes to any relationship. The first being a Dom or Master demanding all of the subs or slaves passwords to all of their accounts. Even in the world of BDSM everyone needs their own privacy, not to mention you are giving private information to someone you hardly even know. The second thing I am against is access to your cell phone, again a privacy thing, and third your computer. Most Dominants or Masters who demand such a thing are ego driven, and insecure. Trying to throw their authority around, and you give it to them because you think you have to. Your trying to prove your submissive.

Okay where am I going with this ? Last week Arianna and I met with another Dom who is single. We met in St Augustine, had lunch at a small Irish pub very nice, the setting was much better than the food. Arianna and I were drilled for maybe two hours, being drilled I mean a lot of questions about how we maintain our relationship. How we maintain the M’s side on a daily basis. How we stay Master and Slave. How is it we never argue.

Arianna was asked a question I believe it was about trust, she made the comment that she would be more than willing to give all of her passwords as well as being monitored by a GPS tracking device. The topic had nothing really to do with trust, coming from her, it was about giving up more control. She explained how she loved to be restrained on a daily basis, caged more. As I am listening I am taking all of this in, and I am thinking would any more that I decided to put in place add more to my bag, not at all because we are at the level of truly knowing each other.

Now the key to my part I have said a thousand times is me being and remaining consistent, and being consistent on a daily basis. Consistency makes the world of D’s or M’s run smoothly, the Slave just falls into place, and will follow without question.

I get up every morning with Arianna at 3.40am . I go into the kitchen and turn the coffee pot on while she is getting ready. When she comes out her coffee is poured and we talk. A couple of times a week I only get about 4.5 hrs sleep, but I still feel the need to get up with her. Then on her way to work she calls like clock work, and we talk more. The other day we were talking about our visit and she brought up the subject that she needed to give more, and wanted me to take more control.

She keeps two daily journals now. One in the car, time and mileage to and from home, work and where ever she stops in between , then once home she has a journal she writes in of all her task, even when she just wants to sit and relax. I know everything she does and what time.

So now I had to figure out a way to take more control. So I mentioned a App for a GPS tracker which she found one downloaded it and sent me the link. It is called Life360 , it sends me updates every time she is on the move. I know exactly where she is at. . I now have all of her passwords to all of her email accounts, as well as her wordpress and fetlife, not that I will ever use them, but I do have that ability.

I in noway demanded any of these things, nor have I ever brought the subject up. This was all of Arianna’s idea. This was her way of giving up more control. This is what she needed as a Slave.

In the past with the rules I have in place, not only does she follow my rules, but she has added a few on her own as daily reminders, which I thought was awesome. She added these rules because she felt she had a need.

To take without the other wanting to give is very wrong, to take when offered makes you feel good, knowing they have that need to give and they want to give.

It is wrong when you first enter a relationship and your passwords and other information is demanded. You as the submissive has the right to say no thank you, unless your new Dominant is going to give you the same access. Ask him for his passwords and see how far that gets you.

The more the Master keeps their word or Dominant the more you as a submissive or slave will want to give. After all that is what your looking for, you want to give all , you do not want to hold anything back.

Arianna’s perfect setting as a Slave would be total solitude, and confinement , then she would be truly happy.

Everything I have spoke about is all about trust. Trust will get you everywhere and everything, without full trust you really have nothing.

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Vile

Put Your Slave Back In Their Place

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, animalistic, ass fucking, bdsm, blindfold, blow job, Bondage, Bound, control, doggy style, Dominants, emotional, Face Fucking, fucking, gagging, Giving Head, Golden showers, Humiliation, journal, Master, Mind Fuck, No Rights, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Respect, Rough Sex, Rules, session, sex, slave, submissive on July 31, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

First off I would like to say, I never have to explain my actions, you as the Dominant or Master should never have to explain your actions, well unless you do something really really stupid. If you the Dominant are on track and your keeping your word, you are not abusing, you never explain your actions. What does come into play though and should never be forgotten or looked over is aftercare.

I look at submissive’s and Slaves as being very different. A Submissive submits when they want to, they have the right to say NO. While some do follow rules most do not, perhaps on purpose, maybe they forget or they just don’t give a shit. Even living 24/7 much of the time the submission does not really carry outside of the bedroom.

A Slave does not have the right to say no, if this was an agreement entering the relationship, that would bring up the question are you submissive or are you a slave. This may sound bad to some and some will understand. A Slave is not equal, not in any sense. This does not mean the Slave is dumb, or stupid, but if the Slave is on the same page they understand this as well.

In an M’s relationship not only the Dominant but the Slave can become to relaxed, you start to become to comfortable in your relationship. Then it hits you I am really no different than the vanilla couple next door, who happens to be stuck up by the way.

We all give our Slaves a little bit of rope, some freedom is needed, but when the Dominant becomes to relaxed he needs to yank on the rope, and put your Slave back in place. A little reminder of who and what they are in the relationship. I am not talking about bending them over and beating them to a pulp, but doing something that will totally catch them off guard.

You have to have daily task, nothing to overwhelming , you have to have daily rituals, in order to do this you the Dominant has to stay consistent , you cannot bend from either.

A very good example Arianna has a small note book, every morning before leaving for work she writes the time and mileage , once at work same thing. This does not just apply for work this is anyplace she may go. Arianna is required to keep all receipts , then once a month or so I go through everything. I check her phone daily, this is not because I do not trust her because I do, I just want to know what she has been doing throughout the day. While home when I am at work Arianna wanted to keep a journal of all her activities while at home, she wanted this implemented so it is done and will continue. I do read by the way. A journal gives one purpose, a needed feelings.

Once you have been in a M’s relationship for any length of time, I call it needed maintenance, kinda like a tuneup if you will, a much needed reminder, of where both of you stand. I am man you are my Bitch, I am Master You are My Slave.

To put your Slave back in their place you do something out of the ordinary something that is not expected, something that will throw them completely off guard.

A time and place for everything, I find the perfect time is during a session, my sessions usually last an hour or so, that includes fucking if I wish to.

You do something that will just throw their mind off tract, something you would not normally do. A change in your voice, more authoritative , deep , serious, you fuck a different way maybe a lot rougher than you normally would, speak in a humiliating way. Golden showers are very effective, some do not like while some do, maybe after play put on hands and knees and give a cold shower, very degrading, but sometimes some other type of interaction is needed.

The Slave then becomes confused, the Slave is not able to process what has just happened, The Slave has just been or feels like they have been degraded, used humiliated mass confusion.

After all is said and done aftercare is very important, hold talk to, but you should never explain your actions.

Face Fucking to the point of almost throwing up, making the slave bark while being fucked from behind, or telling the Slave how much you enjoy sodomizing them while fucking their ass.

I myself enjoy bounding, blindfolding and gagging but putting in a bent position so I can still hit both holes. One could never explain the feeling that comes over one, when someone can do something and the other cannot do anything to stop it or speak. Wow now that is a lot of trust.

Many may not agree, but humiliation is needed from time to time, you as the Dominant needs to bring out the humble, to make feel lowers, put back in their place, just throw the Slave completely off track, mass confusing.

Unless you do something very stupid, You as the Master never should explain your actions, keep your Bitch in place.

 

Vile