This is really a hard question to answer, but sometimes you do just have to say okay I am done , its not working.
The reason behind my way of thinking is there are many who are submissive or a slave who have never lived a 24/7 relationship. You feel submissive you think your submissive, everything you have read points to you. Remember we as humans are visual people, while reading your taking in the information but your eyes make contact first. Then you see pictures, and fantasies come to mind, again the visual thing.
Training someone new is a huge task for the Dominant, but it can be just as hard to train someone who has years of experience, and I shall explain.
Training someone who has years of experience in the lifestyle most are set in their ways. Most already have expectations on what to expect, but then comes the comparing part. The new Dominant will always in most cases be compared.There are those times things just fall into place.
The submissive or slave who has never been with a dom, in the beginning stages is very excited at the thought or opportunity to be excepted and is very eager to begin their training.
Training should begin as soon as possible, from my past experience those who continue to put training off really have no clue on how to train. Just like the Dom I spoke about last week when he told me he was going to start training a baby girl, when asked what he planned on doing, his answer was the usual. Which meant he really had no clue, and that is all he had to tell me but Mr Ego got in the way.
The new Novice Dominant is always willing to jump in head first. He has been waiting for his chance to prove himself. Just like the young wolf. The young wolf has been waiting for the chance to show the older wolfs he can stand his own ground but will learn very soon it is much more than what he thought. He will learn it is much more than just barking out rules and looking for reasons to punish. He will learn quick that if not well equipped he will fail.
So when do you just give up on training ? As I stated above the lifestyle to many is just a fantasy, once the submissive gets a taste of the lifestyle they may soon find out they have stepped into a world that is just not them. Maybe they are just submissive in the bedroom which is going to be the case most of the time, or they do not want to follow rules.
If you are just hitting dead ends while you are trying to train, and the submissive is putting up resistance and is not willing to adapt to your ways. Why would you want to exhaust to much time and energy on something that may never come to light.
If you find you are arguing, yelling at each other, why would either want to go through the trouble? One can be submissive in the bedroom but once outside its back to the normal. You cannot force someone to conform, it will never happen.
Start out by giving small task, a few rules, have the submissive start a daily journal. If the submissive is ready and truly wants to life the lifestyle they will follow through. You may need to correct somethings, ask questions if things are not completed , this is where communication comes into play.
If things are not going well and it has been a month or so, there is no need to keep trying, and it is neither ones fault…. One or two things, either the lifestyle was not for the submissive, or your not the right Dominant.
The best thing to do at this point is to part as friends. Why stress yourself out over something that will never come to be.
Lastly if you are not 24/7 it is almost impossible to train your submissive. You are not there there for you truly do not have any real control. If you have no control how can you possibly train.
When I first met Arianna I was somewhat skeptical just because of the way she had been treated by previous Doms, but once she moved in everything just fell into place. Arianna put up no resistance at all and was the most compliant slave I had met to date..
One thing that will surely help is if neither brings any bad baggage into the relationship. Baggage and drama will make you fail. The idea is to start out fresh and new.
As far as things not working out, it does not make you a bad dominant, it just means you were not the dominant for the submissive. , or the submissive was not right for you.
As far as the online thing I never understood that anyway.