Archive for the kinky Category

What It Takes To Be A Dominant

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Anger Issues, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM 24/7 Relationships, BDSM Relationships, Being A Dominant is 24/7 365, cock sucking, Commit, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consistency, control, Discipline, Dominance Through Intimidation, Dominant and Submissive, Giving Head, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, https://www.facebook.com/vile62, kinky, Master And Slave, owning a slave, relationships, Slave, Structure, Submission, Submissive, Submissive being used, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

I really enjoy perving Fetlife at times , jut to see what everyone else is thinking  or complaining about or trying to give advice. The ones who carry all of the worlds knowledge of course are those who are single and have never been in a D’s  or M’s relationship.

You are either a Dominant or your not , your either a Master or your not. Each has a different foot print in the lifestyle..

Being called a Dominant or Master comes with great responsibility , we must be able to step up to the plate we called and we should be available 24/7 without question more so if you do not live together.

I believe we should be leaders in the community reaching out to others , helping others in time of need , this statement is just my personal belief.

When we look at a Dominant we look at Honesty , one who has high Morels , integrity , a Leader at home or while out.

When our property is out we have standards we expect them to follow. We are a direct reflection of their training. We should be held to the same standards.

Anger issues seems to be a problem running through the new lifestyle, when I speak of the new lifestyle I am speaking of the new generation.

Definition of the word Submissive.

inclined or ready to submit or yield to the authority of another; unresistingly or humbly obedient:

Definition of the word Slave in BDSM Terms..

A slave is an individual who relinquishes all of his or her power to a dominant partner in a BDSM total power exchange relationship. Generally, slaves are considered to be the property of their owners in the BDSM community and not people. They must be subservient to their partners, ask permission before they do anything, and be available for sexual activities whenever it is requested. In addition, slaves are often subject to punishment if they deviate from their duties.

Now with the above definitions please explain to me where the anger issues come into play ?

While it is true in most BDSM relationships more so new ones there will be some if not a lot of resistance , been there done that, but what I learned as a experienced Dominant or Master by staying calm and communication you are able to control the situation in a more of an adult manner.

Making everything clear to the submissive or slave , if you give a rule explain it in detail. Explain what the rule is for and why you as the Dominant will bring improvement into their life.

If your upset explain why your upset and what can be done to fix the situation. Every time a rule is broken does not constitute punishment , this is where communication play a huge role in the relationship. Why was the rule broken ? What can be done to insure it does not happen again ?

You as the Dominant or Master has complete control , you have someone who cooks , cleans , dresses the way you want , lays on their back when told, gets on their knees when told and many times takes what ever pain you feel you need to give.

So why would you as a leader , a Dominant or Master stand toe to toe and argue with your property ? Why would you want to lose control ? Each time you lose control , scream , yell , call names , what happens is you start to lose respect and with that you start to lose control and your relationship will dive out of control and there will be no way to regain the loss.

Think about it you are arguing with someone who submits to you it make no sense.

So you can be a Dominant , you can be a Master but with both titles comes a great deal of responsibility .  In order to have a successful D’s or M’s relationship you are going to have to give up a great deal of your time, and be dedicated to your relationship.

Although kink plays a huge part , sex beyond your wildest dreams that is just the tip of the iceberg.

Getting in the mind , if we break down the letters in BDSM it seems to be more physical , but the foundation is the mental aspect , it is about getting in the mind and once inside there is no limit as to how high you can fly. If you have the mental control the physical comes natural.

You the submissive , the slave the baby girl , the pet you have a couple of goals in mind. To be safe , be with someone who will accept you for you, someone who will not judge or try to change you. You need the security knowing someone cars about you , someone who will communicate , but most of all someone who has your best interest in mind.

 

 

MAsT Kissimmee

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, bdsm, BDSM Education, BDSM Relationships, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, kinkster, kinky, MAST, MAsT Kissimmee Florida, Masters And Slaves Together, munchs, slave, Structure, submisive, Submission, TPE, Vile Woods on FaceBook, viledesires62@aol.com on September 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not only proud but I am Honored that I have been giving the opportunity to start a New MAsT chapter here in Kissimmee Florida.

This has been a 6 month process but I can assure you it was one worth waiting for.

There are a few things I stand for in life and the lifestyle.

  1. Truth
  2. Honesty
  3. Education in a D’s and M’s relationship.
  4. I am against any type of abuse , be it physical , mental or verbal. This also includes the Dominant being emailed or text and no reply for days.
  5. We all know where I stand when it comes to people who cheat male or female.
  6. Communication can make or break a relationship Lifestyle or vanilla.
  7.  I do not know everything , everyday is a new learning experience , sometimes my mind may wonder off thinking about my past and some of the decisions I have made , and noticed mistakes I made, this makes it possible for me to correct so it does not happen again.
  8. Respecting your Baby girl your submissive your slave , your property.

 

MAsT Core Values

Core Values

Personal Fulfillment

MAsT believes that power exchange relationships can be a valid path to authenticity, self-actualization, and happiness.

Inclusivity

MAsT is open to all adults interested in consensual power exchange relationships.

Diversity

MAsT welcomes people of every sexual and gender identity, race and ethnicity, body type, socio-economic status, physical capability, and religion or spiritual practice (including those with no spiritual beliefs).

Free Association

MAsT’s respect for inclusivity and diversity does not preclude each MAsT chapter from assembling according to the desires of the chapter director, and from determining the criteria for membership or participation in that chapter.

Community Support

MAsT encourages the healthy development and support of power exchange relationships through the sharing of knowledge, experiences, perspectives and ideas among its members.

Mutuality

MAsT believes that the individuals who enter into a power exchange relationship do so as equals and that, as with other types of personal relationships, power exchange participants have an obligation to support the well-being of the relationship and that of those with whom they’ve engaged in such relationships.

Personal Responsibility

MAsT believes that every individual who engages in a power exchange relationship has a primary obligation to their own well-being and is therefore responsible for taking appropriate action if such relationship becomes detrimental to their sense of well-being or is otherwise no longer personally satisfying.

Boundaries

MAsT believes that the protocols created by those in a power exchange relationship apply only to the individuals engaged in that relationship. The individuals in the relationship do not have the right to impose their protocols onto others, and those who are not a part of that relationship have neither the right nor the obligation to participate in such protocols when interacting with the individuals in the relationship.

A  group of people coming together sharing and learning. How awesome is that? A place where everyone is welcome who is interested in a Total Power exchange relationship….

One thing I have noticed in the past five years or so , the community as a whole lacks Education. Most of the functions today is circled around kink. I know my slave and I are active in the local community , we meet for coffee , then dinner and it is over as fast as it started.

Although My next post or blog coming up is about a new Dungeon here in Orlando Florida called The Ninth Circle, a very well structured group..

Much Love

viledesires62@aol.com

Vile

 

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

BDSM The Problem Is The Lack Of Education

Posted in Arianna, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Education, BDSM Munch, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, Collar, collaring ceremony, communication, Dominants, http://mast.net/history.php, kinkster, kinky, Living Poly, Living Triad, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, munchs, Open Minded, Protocols, slave, Stephan Pot, Submission, submissive on May 31, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am always starving not for food well yes I am but Arianna has put me on a diet , well she did not put me on one I agreed to go on one. I am starving for information when it comes to the lifestyle , I watch , I listen , and I ask questions. I am a people watcher , I watch and I listen, I am observing how someone sits , how they use body parts when talking , or sitting and bouncing knees when talking , nothing gets by me. Just meeting you , you have about 15 seconds to make a friend. I have very few friends and I have my reasons, my number one is drama , and two most of the time when you have a friend they have a motive , what can you do for them? Fifteen seconds to make a friend and I know after the first 15 or 20 words out of your mouth is I am going to like you. I can count on one hand and tell you how many true friends I have , and these are friends who would drop what they are doing if I ever needed them or something.
Even on Fetlife most of my friends on my profile I have met I have 49 friends and I have met roughly 40 maybe a little more. Someone will send me a request who lives ahhh I don’t know Dallas Texas and I look at their friends list and they have 5.000 friends man please. I have added people who follow my blog, and most of us email each other, but if you have 500 friends how are you going to make time for me?

The era of the internet , it has exploded over the past ten years , you can find anything and it is right at your finger tips. Dating sites have exploded , craigslist WOW , and even BDSM sites.

Before the explosion The lifestyle was still around it was just not as easy to meet people, so you had to kinda feel people out , it was like dark and underground. More Taboo , or sick , kinda like incest.
People were sneaking around not wanting people finding out who or what they were into. The long Trench coats with hates to cover their face , it was really funny.

There were kinky parties , Private dungeons you had to be invited to. You would be met somewhere , interviewed then a decision was made to let you come or not and many times the answer was NO.
Safety was a much bigger issue , the older Dominants looked out for the subs and slaves. The older Dominant would school the younger Dominants, it was a very tight group group a small community.

San Fransisco wow Broadway st. I was at a titty bar one day and had been there since it opened around 10am around 7pm I walk out then sun had gone down , and it looked like the village people convention , of course it did not help when I called the police and reported my car stolen and it was parked across the street. After the sun goes down San Fran is a different city , and I suppose at the age of 20 it was intimidating , as much as I remember. I enjoyed visiting fishermans wharf and china town the food was awesome.

While stationed at Ft Ord I happened to stumble across a few kinky clubs , but people were paranoid , kinda like smoking pot and you keep looking out the window. Sitting in someones house thinking they are going to be raided at anytime. I found this to be very awkward because we were doing nothing , except talking.

Even today most who are in the lifestyle are scared and ashamed of who and what they are. BDSM has to be a secret no one can know. What will my fiends think of me ? What will my family think of me ? Co-workers today all someone has to do is google your name , and it is out there. I was in my yahoo mail a month ago or so and I was messing around with the settings or something , and I called Arianna in because I found pictures that were taking in the 90’s online and I had no idea they were there.

It is not like I care but if something happened to me the last thing I want is my family going through my stuff and finding , rope , leather hoods , leather restraint’s , vibrators , rope put away all nice and neat. and a large dog crate in my closet and we do not even own a dog. So okay my family knows , most of my friends know well okay all because I do not have any vanilla friends..

Okay so your a professional and you do not want your life all over the break room, well if you think no ones knows, then your some kind of stupid. Over the years at work Ive been called out or little remarks were made and for the most I just ignored as if nothing was said , unless it got to stupid for me then I would speak up.

All of the above falls back to a lack of education and for the most you cannot educate the vanilla world because there is way to much stupid going around. People are so judgmental, politically correct , wanting to point fingers, telling you how your abusing your partner. The truth is it is their life that is all fucked up , and you know it but you cannot say anything.

I am not saying you put a BDSM patch on your back and announce to the whole world your kinky , but why live in fear ? Why worry what someone else thinks about you ? Why worry if your family finds out ? These people you worry about are any of them making your car payment ? Your house payment ? Maybe they want to flip the bill for your next service on your car ?

Living a double life is way to much work and I would imagine it is pretty stressful as well. Maybe kinda like Batman , or Superman

The lack of education within the community , where Arianna and I live there is Zero gatherings that off any type of lifestyle education. We did attended a munch Thursday night , fuck what a long day we had. Wednesday night one of Ariannas friends wanted to go to Karaoke , so you know me I was game. The Retro Room is the name of the bar, its okay the service for the most sucks, but the drinks are good. So after talking with the DJ for a little the blonde Bartender comes over and she says Tequila sunrise ? Yup thank you. So about every 20 minutes she would just bring another , and another , and another , then I asked for a double, and another and another, and when my face was numb I stopped, I knew I had enough. I love hearing Arianna sing and one night I will record it and post the music.

Although I drink some when we go there it had been a long time since I had been sideways , or what some may call blind, but I was feeling good. The couple that came is new to the lifestyle and I am trying to be nice on Arianna’s behalf because she really likes the submissive, who is really not submissive she is only acting the part because of her partner. Okay enough of that.

Home late I am feeling right and up at 7.30 out the door and we head to the west coast to a park called Fort Desoto.
fort-de-soto

Arianna wanted to go sea shell hunting for her salt water tank , so her little crabs would have new homes. The water was incredible I was chest deep and could look down and see my feet and all the small fish swimming around. At one point two manatees swam as near as a hundred feet from me , that was awesome.

So off we go head home we took a half hour nap , and off to a munch we go , I am some kind of tired. The restaurant was a small upscale place , with finger foods and wine. What was really awesome about 25 people showed up so the place was packed. They were suppose to close between 6pm and 8pm but they also had a wine tasting going on at the same time.

The topic was suppose to be safe words, but with the layout of the place it was almost impossible and with people walking in and out made it impossible. It was brought up to the moderator that there was no need to have educational classes and a monthly get together would be just fine.

Okay no problem but now you can start to see a pattern now , this is all about change and in someways I do understand but for the most I do not.
I have been talking to the moderator for a couple of months about getting something going and she agreed until Thursday night..

Last week I contacted MAsT International and I requested a New Chapter Formation Petition. So now all I have to do is wait it out to see if I can get approved.

http://mast.net/history.php

MAsT International is an educational based group for all genders who believe in power exchange relationships. Groups are held for all to learn and participate. Monthly discussions on topics about the power exchange relationships. Which would include safety, relationships , structure and so on. Like many Munchs or gatherings there is no play parties it is strictly educational.

The Weekly and monthly group Arianna and I attend , we were hoping the moderator was going to put something together as far as something educational.
That would of meant I could of helped instead on taking on a new project. That is not going to happen so now I will take things into my own hands. The key is to schedule so there is no conflict with other dates in the local community here, which can be done with ease.
I also believe in this area a MAsT would do well because there are those who are truly interested in learning , and we also have a population of around 200.000. Where we live it is called four corners meaning four counties are connected , so I am not just servicing one county.

The Kink side of BDSM is just a treat but it is not the base of the relationship. The enjoyment comes from the power exchange as long as it is consensual.
Setting the foundation , moving into the needs for the two, then exploring the inner self as you both continue to grow. Taking each and every step so it allows you to define your relationship, a TPE relationship can be awesome. It is when you start to try and cut corners , this is where the problem come into play. Once your negotiations are set in stone you can then move forward.

Stephan Pot here on wordpress sent me a comment about a collaring ceremony he was invited to , and was stating how intense it was. Collars are earned not giving because you want to own someone. As with anything it means nothing or has no value if something is not earned.

The education process has changed so much in the last 10 years , I do know change happens , and at times change can be good , but what I am finding what you are finding , what we are finding people are getting hurt , relationships are short lived, and some even take their own lives. This stems from the lack of knowing , the lack of education and the lack of caring.

dirt

Vile

I Don’t Want To Fuck You , I Want To Mind Fuck You

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Humiliation, kinky, Mind Fuck, slave, Submission, submissive on May 12, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The illusion , kinda like Michael Carbonaro , the TV show The Carbonaro Effect , is it really there , I saw it , I touched it, I made it happen.

The mind is so easy to fuck with , like being in a empty old house with no power at night , your mind starts to hear things and in some cases even seen things that are not there , or are they ?

A mind fuck is more than just being scared because the one your with you should have a full understanding of , a bond , you know each other inside and out and you trust your partner with your life. There is a difference in a mind fuck and just being scared shitless.

Mind Fuck the thought of doing something with no intentions of doing anything, sounds really freaky dose it not?

When you start taking senses away that ups the m ind fuck, such as sight in a nice tight hood, or you can add the ear plugs to deafen things out. Lighting scented candles two or three each one with a different smell. Tied spread eagle on a bed and she hears nothing , and the slightest touch throws the mind out of whack.

I remember a few years ago well maybe longer before I pulled the mind fuck in the bath room, with the same slave we were at my friends place, he is a Dominant I have known for years.
Animel had the coolest setup , he actually lived in a large warehouse , living space was about 400 sq feet with a wall separating the living quarters , was a garage and a dungeon.
I had K tied to the rails of a dun buggy arms and legs spread wide ass open and I had been using a very heavy flogger on her , she had a ball gag in her mouth and she was blindfolded. As I was swinging the heavy flogger between her legs I could hear popping , K began to make loud noises so I stopped pulled the gaga out and asked if she was okay? K said your hitting my clit , I said I know and I put the ball gag back in her mouth.

I had this bug zapper that looked like a tennis racket I was using on her nipples and I could see the goose bumps all over her skin and one time I held it to a nipple she pissed right there on the floor.

I made the comment you like big cocks yes and she nodded , so I pulled the hood off and walked out of the room , when I returned I was holding a dildo that was roughly 3 feet long and about 18 inches around and when she she saw it she passed out.
What was really funny a professor from a local University came over to animels shop. Animel ran the maintenance department for Mitsubishi for years and still had hundreds of manuals. The Professor a black man walked up to Animels shop the bay door open and there was K handcuffed to the dune buggy. The gentleman looks at me and I am holding this massive dildo , and he is trying to explain to Animel what is wrong with his SUV. So Animel starts digging through this Manuel’s moving large dildos out of the way, and the guy is looking at me and K.
The guy says maybe I should come back another time and Animel says today is no different than any other day and he keeps looking for the right Manuel, I am still holding this massive dildo, and K is about to cry from embarrassment. So the guy says you know what ? I have seen some shit in my day , but I will never forget today , have a nice day.

There are two kinds of mind fucks , the first is I do not really give a fuck about you but I need my dick sucked so I will stick around. The other is what I call erotic mind fuck.
The first is when your just being used , but you don’t see it , but you stay in a mass confusion state trying to figure things out but you never will because its not meant to be. Things will only change when you get smart to what is going on.

It is good to have a routine but a routine the slave will not be able to figure out , once that happens it is game over. Having a routine but mixing things up is kinda like a mind fuck , you keep the slave guessing, and this keeps them on their toes.

The mind fuck is making someone believe your going to do something your not. You can put a knife in the freezer for a while and if you touch the skin it feels like your actually cutting. Or if taking pictures is a hard limit and your sub or slave is tied down you start acting like your taking pics or even filming only to find out when it is all said and done there is no film in the camera.

Get inside the head and you can dance around for hours..

exploited

Vile

How Deep Is Your Submission

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, anticipation, Arianna, ass fucking, Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, Building a BDSM Relationshp, Cheaters, cheating, Cheating Dominant, cock sucking, commitment, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, control, controlling, Dominant, Dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Forced Submission, fucking, Humiliation, kinky, Lies, Manic, Married Dominant, Master & Slave, Security, Self Pity, slave, slave no limits, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Submission, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was sitting on the couch the other day and I was looking at Arianna. I was thinking how fast time has flown by , but what I was really thinking is how lucky I am to have found the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I cannot say I built our home I have to say both of us built our home. It takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to work together so it can continue to grow.
So for me to sit here and say Look at what I did , would be a false statement. I may of laid down the grown work but without Arianna it would not of been possible.

I am always very cautious of those who use the words I or me on a regular basis. Most who do spend a great deal of time bragging, about what they have done or accomplished.

I am a firm believer we write our own ticket , we decide where and when we are going to go. We are responsible for our decisions, we are responsible for our right and wrongs. It is us to sets the pace in our life and what happens. Now there are times a wrench gets thrown in and we have to back up a little, but staying true in what you believe and do unto others as you would do to them, hmmm did that come out right ?

Although there are not very many people I like , I treat everyone with respect. If I don’t like you I have nothing to do with you. I am not going to get wrapped up in others drama or problems , I have my own house to take care of.

Drama will eat you up from the inside out like a cancer. Drama can destroy your home , drama can and will destroy your relationship no matter who brings it in through the door. It is not fair to bog someone else down with problems. This does mean you do not listen or help a friend in need , but there has to be a limit. Once it becomes a problem or a burden to you , then it is time to cut the rope unless you want to go down with the ship.

Submission is a beautiful thing , It puts you in a peaceful state of mind , the feeling of freedom , the freedom of being who and what you are, and you only have one to answer to. Your Dominant is the only one in your life you have to answer to, well excluding work but you know what I am talking about.

Just like meeting a New Dominant , and being asked about your limits. Well if your new to the life style you really have no idea. Being in a secure relationship with communication allows you to explore that side of you. Maybe you had limits in place, which is normal but as you grow those limits will slowly fade.

On Fetlife I love reading post when a guy says, I am looking for a bitch with no limits. What he is looking for is someone he can abuse and degrade and feel okay about it.
Early last year I was chatting with a Dominant who was mad because his slave left him because she would not fuck who ever he wanted her to. It was his right to make her lay down for who ever. The bad news is she came back , I am guessing maybe a codependent thing , maybe the feeling of being secure.
Can you really love someone if you just pass them around to just anyone ? Your going to fuck and suck who ever I say, where I say and how I say. Can that really be love?

There are those who share , there are those who explore but that is generally worked out between the couple, and there is nothing wrong with that. I myself am not the sharing type, well with a male anyway , a female would be different , but only if Arianna brought it up and she has a few times. Then you have to think about what your going to catch. It is not like it was in the 70’s when you could go get a shot.

You plant the seed , you water it , you fertilize it and it will grow. The same with your relationship. In a relationship your fertilizer is communication , and honesty. This allows the both of you to grow together..

All the kinks , the bondage , the cock sucking , the ass fucking , even to some the humiliation , the control , the submission. All of this comes as you grow , the more communication you have the more you will want to try or do, the more you will want to please the one who is in control.

In a steady long term relationship the submissive , or slave has the need to please and gets pleasure out of pleasing or know they are pleasing the one they are with.

Submission is not something you can demand , respect is not something you can demand. You will call me Sir , you will call me master. Really have you earned that much respect? I just met you why would I call you Sir? Maybe because it makes your ego swell. Maybe it fuels the Dominant inside you. Maybe you should earn that right.

Calling someone Sir or Mam is a lot different when your doing it out of respect than it is when being demanded.

I like the game , playing the game of earning someones respect , then one I am trying to form a relationship with. I like the challenge , I like the finding out how , when and where. I wait for that one word Sir. Then I know without a doubt I have been on the right track. Once you have earned that respect you have a wide open road.

When I met Arianna , I was truthful from the start about who I was and what I needed out of a relationship. I explained everything is such detail she had no questions. I am like that about anything I explain to her. Before I speak I look at every possible question that could be asked , even before Her Training started I explained everything is such detail she had no questions about anything , she just followed.

Following was her greatest down fall because she is one to trust to easy , she thinks other she had seen had her best interest in mind, just as many of you trust to easy. Under the wrong hands it can turn into a bad situation.

Rescuing and submission is not a good combination. You never as a Dominant want to be put in a situation where you are rescuing someone. Many times these are the ones who are wanting you to step in and clean up the mess they made. It is not that they cannot fix it , they just do not want to put in the time or resources it takes to fix.
Entering a relationship many do have some problems and some have problems they have no idea how to fix. If you feel you have a good chance in a long term relationship then it is okay to step in and handle a few things, just make sure your not on the Titanic with a bucket.

I told Arianna , I want you to be able to anticipate my every need. I want you to know when I need something. This was confusing to her at the start of our relationship. She asked me how am I suppose to learn all that , it seems your setting me up for failure?
Watch me and listen , that was the first 90 days of her initial training , and I can tell you the first 90 days was not a very easy task. Training is not made to be easy.
She watched and she listened and to this day she is on top of things. She is because it is a need for her. Her knowing she is pleasing me fuels her submission.

Knowing when someone needs down time is very important , knowing when someone has had enough and they just need time to let their mind go. This is something huge I believe in. Allowing Arianna down time , to see family and friends, taking her shopping. This place a huge role in supporting her.
You know at times Arianna gets somewhat Manic , that is her I accept her for who she is, but there are times you have to let the manic run its course , because slamming the breaks on something could do more harm than good, so I let out a little rope and if a mistake is made I fix it, not that there has ever been something drastic.
Knowing your partner means the world , knowing when to let a little rope out does more help than bad. Being there to pick things up , insures your partner you have their back.

Male insecurities , the two words that start almost everything argument , is what’s wrong ? These two words do more damage than anything , because it is not asked just once or twice especially is the answer is nothing. Then if the answer is nothing there has to be something wrong, so that question is just hammered until something is made up. This all comes back to the down time. Sometimes we just need to vegetate , think , let our mind go and just chill.

Who are you seeing? Are you cheating? Are you talking to anyone else? This means one or two things , the Dom you are seeing is very insecure which is not a good quality when it comes to a Dominant or he is the cheater. 99% of the time the accuser is the one who is stepping out , so then you need to ask him those same questions..

A Dominant who demands your passwords to all of your accounts that is a security problem as well as an ego problem, not to mention a lack of trust.
It cracks me up when these married fuck tards who are cheating on their wife does not trust their submissive. They cant be trusted but they cant trust the other one they are with. How fucking stupid is that? Fuck Tard was a nice word by the way.

We all choose our own path , you just need to make sure you are traveling down the right path , and you need to know your partner has your back..

Confused

Vile

The Truth About Daddy Dominants

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Cheating Dominant, Collar, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Daddy's Baby Girl, Discipline, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, Fake Dominants, fuck buddy, kinky, Local events, MAST, Master And Slave, Masters And Slaves Together, Rules, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 9, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First I am not speaking about every Daddy Dominant in the lifestyle , I am however speaking about 98% or higher .
Baby Girls in the lifestyle for the most are really different than those who are submissive or even a Slave. Most Baby Girls do not live with their Daddy Dominants, while I am not sure what the numbers are the percentage is very high.

Most Daddy Dominants are married and cheating , most Baby Girls do not care that they could be responsible for ripping a family apart because they are selfish. Selfish enough to try and separate the father from his children. In those cases I look down on both and I have zero respect for either.

Baby Girls first coming into the lifestyle are very vulnerable, all are really clueless when it comes to the lifestyle. Most if not all are clueless when it comes to finding a good Dominant.

So A week or so ago I was speaking with a Baby Girl who mentioned the same thing I am speaking about , how the Doms wanted a relationship but they did not want the responsibility.

So while chatting with this Baby girl she told me she had been talking to a Daddy Dom or maybe just a Dom , but when I asked if he was married she said luckily no , she too has had the same problem with married Dominants.

Again I am not speaking about all Daddy Doms , there are some good ones out there who have their baby girls best interest at heart.

You know I spent almost 7 years in a Daddy Dom role , I will also be the first to admit that was a bad turning point in my relationship but I did it because it was a need for the slave, little did I know she saw that as a weakness in me , because I was willing to change who I was.

My role was not an easy one , I set goals for her , and I made sure they were followed through with. I had rules , and protocols that were followed. Again the weakness was me changing who I was.

Once your Baby girl , submissive or slave spots a weakness they will prey on that to see how far they can push you.

While our relationship is strictly an M’s , it is based more on structure , rules and protocols. I have never left a mark on Arianna , the key word here being NEVER. One I know her limits and I respect them , two I care to much for her.

This statement is going to hit some nerves. The term Daddy Dom is somewhat new to the lifestyle. Another for the most I do not even think in a Daddy baby girl relationship the term BDSM should even be used. The main reason being many do not have rules , many do not have protocols , nor any type of structure. The final the only time a collar is put on is during play.
While at a MasT meeting sometime ago a Daddy Dom called me aside and told me I was abusing Arianna, I should not even be in the lifestyle because I did not know what I was doing. He said I was to strict, and I did not give her any freedom.
I thought for a second and I asked his what was he even doing at a MasT meeting. MasT means Masters And Slaves Together.
I have been approached by Dominants who have asked me basically the same thing. These are people who do not have a true understanding of what the dynamics of a M’s relationship is really about.
Again this is not my thoughts to all Daddys Doms within the lifestyle.
However there is a reason why you do not see many Daddy , Baby girl relationships active in the local community, who knows?

Books are an excellent reference , and you can obtain a great deal of information from books , good and bad , but you cannot live your life according to what someone else has written it will not work. We as humans have different needs , different kinks , we need different structure , and rules. Books can give you an out line but in the end your just reading someones opinion, just like my blog.

Most Daddy Doms do not collar their property, well the first meeting but after that the collar is not brought up except during play.

We need to learn to accept everyone for who they are , and what would help is maybe learning to understand our friends a lot more. The more we understand the more we grow, the more we grow , then we are open to more ideas.

I have a very dear friend Master R , him and I live total different separate lives , we both have total different views on how a M’s relationship should be ran, how a house should be ran, but we are open enough to understand we both have different needs. We also know we can depend on each other , and today in the lifestyle that is really hard.

That is why when you first meet someone being able to clearly communicate is so important, being able to understand where each other is coming from. Knowing what is expected of each other. How you see yourself in a relationship , be it Daddy Dom Baby Girl , Dominant , and Submissive or Master and Slave.

I have said this before , my way is not the only way, and just with any book , after reading some 1000 post maybe you can lay the ground work to something awesome…

Again there are a few Daddy Dominants I respect but for the most man I cant even say.

Many who call themselves Daddy Doms are married and want a piece of ass on the side. So you sit and wait and wait and wait for that call or text and then you get a couple of hours alone, then you wait another two weeks or a month and in some cases longer. You are an object and if you are happy being an object then so be it I am happy for you.

Daddy

Vile