Archive for the Lesbian Category

Do You Have To Be Submissive Before You Can Be Dominant

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, bi-sexual, Chinese Cupping, Dominant Switch, Dominants, Domme, Gay, Lesbian, slave, submissive on December 30, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is something I have heard for some time now. You cannot be Dominant unless you have been submissive. I find that most who make that comment are those who switch.The other statement is, how can you control a submissive if you have never been submissive. To each their own I just do not follow this train of thought. I am not saying your way of thinking is wrong because it is not. Your way of thinking is just that.

There are women who are submissive who are able and like to switch, but I have never met a slave who would even think of switching. A slave is not wired that way.

I know if Arianna was to see me submit to someone else, she would be gone. Number one reason would be I am not the Dominant I told her I was, but the most important thing would be, she could no longer respect me.

We all have our kinks, we all have our needs, I do not judge anyone by the way they live their life. I may not understand but hey if it cranks your tractor go for it.

I have stated before there is a huge difference between Master and Slave, and Dominant and submissive, or Daddy Dom and baby girl. The dynamics of each and every relationship is so different.

In the last couple of years there has been a few Masters who have just blown my mind, those who switched and I never saw that part in them, while their slave was not able nor did they want to switch.

I myself have never been on the receiving end , and you have a better chance in seeing the sea part before you see me submit to someone. The idea I do not understand my slave because I have never been submissive is just a fucked up statement. I am not sure about others, but I do understand my slave, I understand her feelings, I understand her needs. I know her inside , out.

Although, on the wild side, if I have done something to a slave out of the ordinary , I have probably done it to myself. A good example I was with a slave who got off on needles. I had never done any needle play before, so I experimented on myself. I got nothing out of it, but I was able to fulfill a need. the Tens Unit, I have tried on myself, Chinese cupping the same, the violet wand.

If there was something I did not know how to do and wanted to try. Then I find someone who knew how to do and got them to show me. You never go in blind, because you can really fuck someone up.

As far as being on the receiving end , um no that has never crossed my mind. I know who and what I am about. I am not going to let some pissed off Domme tie me down and fuck my ass with a 12 inch strapon that will never happen.

Your kink is just that you can share with me, I will listen to you all day long, but I will never take part in. Nor will I tell you that your wrong or how fucked up you are. You have to live your own life to be happy. Why would someone care what others think? Why would someone seek my approval? You have to be you.

We are all human it does not matter if your gay, lesbian, straight or bi. You have to be you, and you will only be happy if you are you.

I just do not understand the Male switching part when someone is Dominant and they switch to being a submissive, while there submissive watches them submit to someone else.


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Bettie Page portraying both a submissive and a dominant partner

In BDSM, a switch is someone who participates in BDSM activities sometimes as a top and other times as a bottom or (in the case of dominance and submission) sometimes as a dominant and other times as a submissive. Partners may switch roles based on mood, desire, or to allow each partner to experience their preferred activity. For example, a switch may be in a relationship with someone of the same primary BDSM orientation (e.g., two dominants), but enjoys participating as either orientation, so switching provides each partner with an opportunity to realize his or her BDSM needs.

It is also common for people to switch with different partners, such as when a person acts exclusively as a top with one partner and exclusively as a bottom with another. The act of “switching” may also refer to a spontaneous reversal of roles, initiated by either the bottom or the top. Persons who engage in self-bondage can be viewed as simultaneously taking both roles. There can sometimes be found a lingering prejudice in some local BDSM communities against switches and switching, while at the same time it gains increased acceptance in other local communities. Like bisexuality, identification as a switch is sometimes prejudicially regarded as ‘sitting on the fence‘, or being indecisive, about one’s kink orientation.


Coming Out Of The Closet

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, Coming Out Of The Closet, Dominants, Gay, Lesbian, Master, slave, submissive on August 30, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your a submissive or a slave maybe a late bloomer. Who do you talk to? When you first make the discovery , you start to read, you look for as much information as you can. Are your thoughts a fantasy or do you truly desire the D’s way of life? Who can you turn to?

Chat rooms are polluted way to much drama. Mostly internet Doms or those who want to be a Dom, living out the ultimate Fantasy. The on your knees bitch Dom, demanding to be called Sir or Master. I suppose there are some who would follow such an idiot, those who do not have a clue.

On the other hand being in the closet chat rooms are about the only way to go, until you realize there has to be more to the lifestyle than sending pics and phone sex. Just so the Dom can get off over the phone while your spanking your pussy.

Those who have been in the lifestyle for any time are still in the closet. Maybe fear of losing their job, worried about what others will think. Maybe worried about being judged, what family will think.

I do not hide who or what I am, you either except me, or you don’t.  Those who criticize really do not have a clue. You think BDSM , you look at the pictures on the net, and the first thing that comes to mind is abuse. Getting pass the pictures is the hard part.

Okay so 99% of the pictures when you click on images after you have searched BDSM are models, clips from movies. Why would you post a picture of two eating dinner, walking on the beach, or two people shopping? That would not be very interesting now would it.

Most people and it is the one who do not have a clue, are so close minded and set in their ways even if the two of you set someone down and tried to explain your life, they still have the images in their mind.

So now the Gays and Lesbians have come out of the closet, even famous people who have said they are bi-sexual have come out of the closet. Sports figures who are gay have come out of the closet, singers, actors, and actresses have come out of the closet.

Okay so now us the Dominant who needs to be in control, the submissive who needs to be controlled.  We for the most live in a dark closet in fear of what others will think.

What about the Gay Dom, most probably know he is gay, but it is the other he hides from people. It is okay to be Gay but there is still a fear if someone finds out about his lifestyle.

The lifestyle is not something we admit openly in public, it is not something we brag about, but here is the truth a submissive or slave most of the time will not wear their collar to work or while out with friends in fear of being judged. Family members do not know of your lifestyle friends do not know, it is a deep dark secret.

So we find the one partner we can fully communicate with share things with, but your still in the closet. I have invited people to munchs so they can see first hand what the lifestyle is about, they still cannot get passed those fucking images. Even those in the lifestyle are afraid to go in fear of someone seeing them. Kinda like the married guy going to a Titty Bar and parking his car out back in fear of someone seeing him.

Okay so our lifestyle is no ones business, and I fully agree, it is not something I blab on a daily basis, but it is not something I hide either.

The world as a whole is very close minded. Way to many tree huggers who think they know how everyone should be living their life, they have all the correct answers.

You should not watch rated XXX movies, or you should not be drinking, please don’t go into that nude bar and corrupt your mind. You do not have to be in control, you have no right controlling your Gf or your wife. It is not right to tie her up, and spank her. How can you abuse her like that.The question never comes up. Does she like it ? Are these the things she wants ? Are these her kinks or needs ?

So lets say my partner was into all these kinks and I was not, but I went along with her needs, but if I did not understand what am I suppose to do up and leave. Sorry I cant do this I am gone.

I am not saying you should blab your private life, but never be ashamed of who or what you are. Our personal life is just that. Many who are owned are ashamed to wear their collar out in public in fear of being questioned.  I would never expect someone to wear a leather spiked collar to work, I would hope your Dom would spend more than twenty bucks on a collar anyway.

Be who you are and stand proud.



More Hot Women Making Out

Posted in bi-sexual, French kissing, Lesbian, sex, Video, Women Kissing on August 14, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile