Archive for the Lie Category

BDSM And Mental Health

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anxiety, Argue, Arianna, BBW, BDSM Hypnosis, Collar, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Honesty, Humiliation, Hypnosis, Lie, predators, Protocol, Rules, sadist, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick on July 4, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While it is true there are many who are Slave and Submissive’s in the lifestyle who do not suffer from any type of depression, anxiety, or anything else. It has been my experience over the past two decades that well over half of those I have met have falling under what I am going to speak about.

Before Arianna met me she had been with a couple of Dominants who were abusive, one more physical than the other. The one who was the oldest was more mental abuse, screaming yelling, keeping her up for hours at a time. While the other was more mental, he was the one I called the Hypno Dom.

He is local and uses hypnosis to lure his victims in. Now Hypnosis does not work with everyone, I know because I went to see one once before to try and stop smoking

On the other hand hypnosis does work on some, if the mindset is right. Picking those who are submissive and knowing one could have problems, or maybe even show signs of being lonely. I even consulted a couple of well known Dominants in the area, and it was pretty much Wow that sucks huh.
Well when it comes to rape, or really hurting someone physically to me is a huge deal. Arianna had taking a couple of good beatings from him before she caught on.

I mentor a submissive who lives in another country, and she has improved 1000 times over since we first met, and it was mainly just staying in touch and giving advice when she asked.
So she emailed me about this Dominant who was into mental sadism , I was thinking like wow really? Okay so I contacted him, and I asked if he knew she suffered from anxiety and depression? His answer was no.
So he was going to session with her not knowing anything about her or her mental state..

It is no secret that Arianna had a break down not long after we had met, it was something that was a long time coming, and things were just piling up, and it was like a Volcano.

I do try and make all of Arianna’s appt with her, and yesterday was one, and as the Doctor walked out to welcome Arianna, she looked and said oh your here. Yes I am I thought.
So there were a few changes, and I asked a thousand questions. I wanted to know why, how, what for, and why again. Yea she loves me.

Her doctor knows of our lifestyle as well, we had never come right out and said anything but I am sure she knows what the collar is around Ariannas neck.
I forget what was said but she made the comment that rules and structure were good to have in a home.

I am not going to go down a long list of medications, but I just want to touch on a few things.
If someone is taking medication for depression you as the Dominant need to know why, the same with Anxiety . How long have they been on medication?
At what age did they start? What was the family upbringing like? What was school like? You need to know the submissive inside out ,and then outside in.

So what if this Mental sadist was to of had a session with this Submissive who is bipolar, suffers from depression, and anxiety, not having a clue about her mental state. Lets say he started off playing some mind fucking games, moving into a little pain, all while she is bound, gagged, and blindfolded.
Do you really think he was going to care about the aftermath . The same with the Hypno Dom, who preys on weak women…

Before I say anything else, not every submissive , or slave suffers from anything, there are those who wake up perfectly normal. There are those who do not need to see doctors. To those I say you are very lucky.

Above is the abuse I have been talking about for so long. If you meet a Dominant and he is not asking these question, you are not going to volunteer any information in fear of rejection. If he is not asking questions wanting to know the real you, and he is just interested in your kinks, or demanding you call him Sir. Yea you know.

Although you want to share your life, you do not want to spill your life out in one sitting, this can also make you a target. You should however share information about any medications your on and why you are taking them, how long you have been taking them, and why.

Once I learned about Arianna, I did have a little help as well, that was her journals I read, it took me over 8 hrs to read everything. The training plan I had in mind prior was much more strict , I probably would of seemed more distant in someways. I was not looking to hurt anyone mentally or physically, I was looking for a partner and slave.

When you first meet a Dominant and the first couple of days are just sexual, and he is not trying to get to know you as a person, do you really think he has your best interest in mind?

Here is the number one problem this is to those who are new. You believe anything your told,and you feel you do not have the right to ask questions.

I know when I first meet someone I want to know them inside out, because if you dont and you have a real intense session, and the Dominant dose something to cause a break down, the first words out of his mouth is , Well I didn’t know.. You did not tell him, or he did not ask, there is the lack of communication maybe on both parts, it is not always the Doms fault.

A submissive told me the other day she had suffered from depression but no longer took her meds, she said she was cured and no longer needed them. She came to this conclusion on her own, and the Dominant who I take is a Doctor agreed with her. If he was not a doctor he would of taking different steps I would think. You cannot play with someones well being, you cannot play with someones mind, or their emotions.

All it really takes is you sharing very important information, you the submissive has the right to say no I am not going to do that, or you are not going to do that to me. You have that right. You have the right to have what was promised, you have the right to walk away when you are being abused or lied to.

If the Dominant your with does not care about your safety , then he is not the one for you. If the Dominant does not care about your well being then he is not the one for you.

Move on…

love

Vile

Training Your Slave And Having The Proper Keys

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, cheating, Cheating Dominant, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, fetlife, hoe, Lie, Lies, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Patience, rimming, Rules, Self-Discipline, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on March 16, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have talked about Training your Slave in the past, not so much a submissive because a Submissive still has some control about what goes on. A Submissive has the RIGHT to say NO, and that word has to be honored.

Many of you have seen me, I am an average looking guy, nothing special, I don’t have that Tom Cruise thing going on, but I am me. I am me inside out. I am not someone from 8 to 5 then someone different when the clock hits 5.05pm I am me 24/7. I do not care what others think of me, I do not care if others talk about me, I do not mind being the gossip of the day or the week. Why ? Because I am me and no one can change that,

Many of you have seen Arianna she is without a doubt a Total Fucking Knock out. She was built for fucking, she is perhaps the best cock sucker I have ever cum across. She is truly a perfect sign of beauty.  Last she is a True Slave at heart, she has giving me not 25% not 50% or 75% not even 100% but 150%.

To put us side by side you would look and go what the fuck? How did Vile pull that off, I know other Dominants and Masters ask me the same thing. My answer is always the same, I pulled it off because I am just me I am Vile, I have never put up any fronts, I have never pretended to be anyone else.

My Training also includes being Vile being me and no one else. I can tell you if you can pull that off just being yourself and staying yourself you can go places.

I have fucked some of the most beautiful women in the world. I have fucked models, Doctors, Lawyers, women who were married, Ive fucked their sisters and at times I lowered my standards some not much but some. I have fucked some I knew I would never be in a relationship with. I have fucked those and threw them taxi money while pushing them out the door, and they still call me the next day.

Okay Ive made some mistakes, Ive used some, Ive hurt some, but then you grow the fuck up. I can tell you and maybe some of you men can relate it does not matter how many women you fuck, it still gets lonely waking up alone in the am.

Then you have to stop and ask yourself what am I doing wrong ? Pussy is not in shortage. You can go out to a nigh club pick someone up within an hour bring them home bust a nut and send them on their way, you feel good, but we never stop to think about their feelings. We never stop and think what we are doing to them mentally and emotionally. Okay on the other side some women are Hoes as well, some women use men.

I am not off track I am getting to the training part. I am just sharing a little about my past, while I had fun, I had fun being alone. That was one thing I was not able to see until my late 20’s early 30’s.

When someone ask me hey how are ya doing? My answer is always the same. I am Living The Dream, my dream, viles dream. I am living in the present, I am living in the today, not yesterday or tomorrow, but the present. The past is just that it is the past. Nothing I do is going to change that. The future I do not have a clue, all I know is for right now I am living the dream.

I recently took part in a training seminar in sales, and the Motivational speaker is just fucking unreal and it works, it works to a T. The thing is you can do what he says and speaks about, but you have to throw in your own personality, you have to be you, and no one else.

The way I trained Arianna worked for me, the way I trained my last long term was far different, and chong the training was way out the door. I was more cold, more self centered , I was more stand offish , but that is the type of master she needed, but at the same time I was me. The only thing I changed was my training process.

Rules every submissive, Baby Girl or Slave needs rules, they all need to know there are consequences as well. Rules with no consequences are no more than words. You know what words get old, promises get old, lying gets old, cheating gets old, losing your temper gets old, being abusive gets old. Then when it does not work out you can blame it on the Bitch, she was the one who was fucked up, she was a total fake. The fact is that is a lie, because if you had been yourself, chances are it would of worked out.

Now the almighty question. How long does it take to train a slave ? Well how long does it take to make something a habit. Note you are not just making one thing a habit, you are changing someones life around to fit your needs and wants.

The key is but there are a couple of keys to many locks. The main key is being yourself, another key is have self control, another key is not having any anger issues. If you have anger issues you have no business being in the lifestyle , and you should be ashamed demanding someone call you Master or Daddy or even Sir. Those terms are earned. If you have anger issues, and I have met several who could not control their temper, and wondered why their relationships failed, yes that was plural.  Another Key is having no Drama, drama kills you. Your Submissive , baby girl, or slave does not want to be part of a mess you created, and to get them in your fucked up shit is not fair. Another Key being truthful , just tell the truth, even if its going to piss someone off. . Another key is being in control, and not controlling, this falls under anger issues again. The thing is to properly train someone you have to have every key I just mentioned, and there are a few more. The key to respect, the key to understand the word no.  These keys get Heavy but in your relationship you have to use each key and use on a daily basis, if you start leaving keys out, you will slowly start to lose control. Once you have lost control you can rarely regain. Ive been there done that, once its over its over.

When I met Arianna her life was in a total mess, and even after she explained to me what kind of Dominant she needed I still had some hesitation. So I had to spend sometime thinking, was this something I wanted to take on. Did I want to micromanage someone, did I want that much responsibility , did I want that much control over someone’s life. Well I am happy to say going on almost two years well six months short of two years my math is probably different than yours but that’s OK. It is working and working well. Arianna can tell you I use all of the keys on a daily basis. When she gets upset I am there for her, when she gets emotional I am there for her. The key is I am there no matter what, see we just found another key.

My way of training may not fit your way, it may not fit your baby girls way, submissive or slaves way, but if you take bits and pieces and use some of what I am saying and be yourself it can work.

My thought of a Triad was not for me it was for Arianna, fuck I get anything and everything I want, when I want and how I want it, without any resistance. I get waited on hand and foot, sex is when ever I want, I get my cock sucked more than Bill Clinton, I get my ass licked when I want, my feet. I want for nothing. Another key is, I have to give back and more. I give back more than I take. I am there 24/7 no questions asked. If Arianna needs me I drop what ever I am doing. She knows this as well.

Now to you married dudes who have the need to fuck around because your wife wont lick your ass, or the dudes who prey on those who are submissive just so you can use. You do not have any KEYS. All you have is the gift of Gab, and that only last so long, she will leave you and yes you will blame her. Or if you do have any keys it will not unlock any doors, they are useless, until you decide to man up. When you go in the bathroom turn on the water look in the mirror and wash all of the pussy off of your face, your keys will never work.

I read a Doms profile on Fetlife not long ago, he stated he could train any Slave in less than 30 days. That is a complete joke and he is truly living in a fantasy world, or maybe he can make someone think he can, but again he does not have all the keys.

The fact is the training never stops, the training is never complete, training is something that has to be done daily, and that falls under consistency daily consistency, and being who you are.

You are changing someones whole thought process, you are changing their way of thinking, and I will give you a good example.

While meeting with another Dominant he was quizzing me on how I trained and was able to maintain such a relationship. With Arianna sitting right there and as I was explaining she really heard nothing, even when I mentioned the part about mind modification, and I have mentioned it before in front of her, and she hears nothing. That is how I can tell Ive done well, that is how I know my training was and is successful. I can speak of training her in front of someone and she hears nothing, even if she does it goes in one ear and out the other. She cannot see it because she lives it everyday and I continue the training daily.

If your training starts out with learning to suck cock, then your fucked up. Why don’t you suck someones cock and see what you get out of it. See what benefits you get from sucking cock. Then you can explain to the submissive what the benefits are to learning to suck cock.

If you use all of your keys and you are truthful during the process you to can have anything and everything you want. I want for nothing, I ask for nothing, and I truly mean that because everything I need is anticipated . When we are going out all I have to do is tell Arianna to get in the car, if I tell her where we are going fine if I do not that is fine.

Train your own way just make sure you have the proper Keys.

Image

Vile

It Is Not Always The Dominant’s Fault

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, consistent, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Dating, Dominant, Face Fucking, Fake Dominants, Lie, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting your new Dom/Master, micromanage, Micromanagement, mistakes, morals, Patience, Protocol, references, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on March 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A year and a half I have been ragging on other Dominants because of abuse. The fake Dominants who lurk in the shadows waiting for the perfect prey to come along.

Even those who are Submissive or a Slave has said well this Dom is a fake that Dom is a fake, but that is not always the case. There are those few times the submissive has just read someone wrong.

When you first meet a Dom, or a Daddy, maybe a Master, they all have a series of questions they ask you. When a question is asked they want a straight forward answer. They want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When asked questions you give a direct answer, and sometimes it is good to add if you see the need, or you want the conversation to take a different avenue.

If your asked a question or he makes a statement and you agree, you have just started digging yourself a hole, and unless you do something to correct it, your hole will continue to get deeper, because this is your train of thought.

When you speak about limits stand firm on your hard limits. Do you like anal sex ? No I do not that is a hard limit. If you do not like Anal sex say so? Do you enjoy pain ? No Pain is a very hard limits.  If pain is truly a hard limit say so. Do not say something that may have a bad outcome if you choose to enter such a relationship.

This is Vile.

Why do you want to be a Slave. I am looking right in her eyes waiting for a reply. I also want full eye contact.

When did you first become interested in the lifestyle ? Wait for answer.

How many Doms or Masters have you been with and what happened ? May I contact them ? And I have contacted other Masters.

How do you see yourself in an M’s relationship on a daily basis ?

The Slave What are my rules ? Vile I do not know as of yet I do not know you well enough to give or enforce any rules..

Vile

Before we go any further let me explain who I am. I am looking for a slave with little to no limits. I am looking for a slave who wants to be completely owned.  Sex is when I want and need, you have three holes and I plan to use all of them is that understood ? If the answer is no to anyone of those the conversation is over because I Vile will not bend.

You will follow my rules once I know you well enough to start implementing them is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes, looking at me in the eyes.

You will follow my protocols to a T without question,  is that understood ? What are your protocols ? I then say I am simple I have three that will be followed 1 2 3 I may add more as I see fit.

Vile

I do not share, you must remain loyal at all times is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes.

Are you into pain ? The Slave no I am not, good because I am not either. If her answer would of been yes that would of ended the conversation. Why ? Because that was something I could no provide her.

Vile

What are your needs ? What is it you need to be a slave on a daily basis ?  Very important questions there, again you must give a straight answer. You should already have every answer in your head by the time you meet someone. You should have a fucking list a mile long.

Vile

I am going to go one more step. In my home there has to be a bitch, you would be my slave, I would owne you without question, you are to follow. You do not have the right to question me and the word no never comes out of your mouth, unless.

There is an unless and a exception to the rule. If the submissive or slave sees their owner is making a mistake and it will effect the house, then they have the right to question, and they have the right to know what is going to be done to fix the problem.

Vile

Have you understood everything ? Did I leave anything out ? Do I need to cover anything I said again?

It is very important for the Dominant to be very clear when he is explaining his need, his rules and protocols. It should be explained in such a manner that he leaves no rock un-turned.

Vile

Do you have any questions or comments, or something you would like to share?

Answer I need all of the above, but I need to be micromanaged . WHoa , she just through in a wrench into my thinking process, that was something I was not expecting, so now my brain has just hit Mach one.

Vile

Micromanaged as in ? I want you to completely run my life, including my daily task, what I eat, when I sleep, when I shower, what I wear, everything.

Vile

Well um hmmm let me think. This was something that caught me totally off guard.

See now the Slave has the upper hand, the slave is now in control of the conversation.

Vile

That is something I am going to have to think about. I did not give a reason, I did not have to.

Vile

So if I agree to your terms and you agree to mine, your thinking maybe we should try to move forward is that correct ?

If I had agreed to her terms right then and there I would of been stuck, or played the micromanage part until I felt like I had enough control so I could back off.

I had to think about that part for a day. That would be taking a very large step. Before I could commit I had to come up with a plan, I even tried consulting with or Dominants, and their answer was man fuck that shit.

I however felt we had enough in common that I just might be up for such a task.

Everybody is not going to have the same questions, or the same needs, but you get the idea.

If you give the Dom a false answer or your just saying yes to please, you are like the Titanic you will sink and you will sink fast, and there are no life boats.

Sex is not the main road in a relationship, but if someone answered no to anyone of mine, the conversation was over, done. In the past I had giving in and it did not last. Why ? Because I was not upfront and I lied.

Be prepared, ask questions, do not be afraid to say I will not or afraid to use the word no. If the Dominant gets up and walks out, then it was not meant to be.

That goes the same with the Submissive or Slave, you to should get up and walk out. Kick the dirt and move on

It is not always the Dominants fault.

If a Dominant tells you when you are meeting with him, and he says your not allowed to have any eye contact. Tell him to go fuck himself. He does not have that right. If you agree you are already submitting , at this point that is not where you want to be.

Image

Vile

Giving Up Total Control

Posted in 24/7, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, Being fucked, being used, blow job, Chained to the floor, Change, communication, Conform, consequences, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Dress Protocol, fucking, Korea, Lie, MAST, Master, Molding, pleasure, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, Rules, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, surrender, Thailand, The Master should adapt, The slave must adapt, Total Slavery, TPE, Train your slave, training your slave on December 29, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if a Submissive is capable of giving up full control, I know a Bottom would not think about doing so. I do think under the right circumstances a Submissive could cross that line into the Slave hood.

I have lived with a few Submissive’s the relationships I knew were not going to work. It was mainly to fill a void at that moment and time. We all need someone, and at times we make mistakes by settling for less.

Maybe if I wanted to really invest time while I was with a submissive things may have turned out different, but I was not feeling that interject. Although you can train someone to fit your needs, if the other is willing.

Once I put my foot down and finely came to realize that I needed more. I stopped fucking around. I cannot tell you how many Slaves or who thought they were Slaves I met. You can tell after the first ten minutes or so if your going to click. Okay we are not clicking so what do I take her home, fuck her and send her on her way, nah we will finish dinner then say hey it was great but lets just stay friends. This is how I programmed my mind. I refused to settle for less . I was going to find the one.

A Submissive or Bottom has the right to say no, and the Dominant has to respect that word. After all his partner is just a submissive and not a Slave. The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary , although she does have the right to speak up when she has a concern and I do value her opinion.

A couple of months ago I was talking to this Daddy Dom at a local Mast group, this is when he told me he was not the type of Dom she needed. He said she was way to needy. I said welcome to the world of BDSM buddy.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves are needy, very needy. This is something you have to except if you wish to be in a relationship. Being needy is not a bad thing nor does it make you any less of a woman. Finding the right one who is able to be there and fill that gap is important.

Just as I told this Daddy Dom, if you really care about your submissive, then you should be able to Adapt. If you really care then you should be able to fill that void. Well she is into pain and I am not. Again if you really care you as a Dominant should want and be able to adapt. You must be willing to put as much into the relationship as your submissive is, if not you will fail.

Think about being a Slave, A Slave who has been looking for sometime, and just running into road blocks, making the wrong connections. I know myself even as a Dominant I would of felt pretty lost, I did while living with those who I was not really into, a very lost feeling.

So a Slave enters her new Masters Home, sits her bad by the door, her life is about to change and change forever. As soon as she closed that door behind her she left all rights on the other side. The slave no longer has any say so. The slave can no longer watch TV when she wants to, cannot shower until told. Told what to wear, Told where she is allowed to sit or where to stand. What time to go to bed. Your sitting at the table working out the final details of what it is going to be like and what is expected. Either you agree or you pick your bag up and walk back out

Most of the time I let Arianna prepare dinner, she will tell me what she wants to cook, although I do not complain about food, because while in Korea and Thailand I ate some pretty fucked up shit, so nothing really taste bad. I may change mine up from time to time. The other night Arianna wanted chicken breast, fine you bake yours I want mine fried. No questions, no buts that is how it was prepared.

I cannot even imagine how a Slave feels once she walks through that door and closes it. The Slave now has to adapt to her new Masters ways. The Slave has to Adapt to rules, Protocols. The slave has to adapt to a brand new environment.

She asked me how will I know what to do. My answer was just watch, listen and observe, and do exactly what your told. I also told her I want you to be able to anticipate my needs, that was a statement she did not understand. She worried about it for months, but everything just fell into place. Today I seldom have to ask for anything because it is already done for me. Watching and Observing.

One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle, as a reference, as I told her from the beginning I would. After that I cut off all the outside world except for her work and family. The trained had begun. Eight months Arianna was not even allowed on the furniture, eight months. Something I need to more often that I did before was feed her. have her set on the floor at the table and feed her as I eat. She loves that feeling, or more so being chained to the table while eating.

Anticipating my needs. I ask Arianna what are you thinking about I do several times a day. I want to know where her thoughts are. A lot of the time she will reply sucking your cock.

Anticipating my needs, my night clothes are out when I get home, water by my bed. drying me off when I step out of the shower. Filling my glass without having to ask. Spreading when told to, it is about my needs.

I was drinking coffee the other day at the kitchen table and I got to thinking I have this fine ass bitch sleeping naked in my bed, I need to hit that. I walked in undressed, crawled on top spread her legs fucked her dumped my load and got off, and she loved it, she loved the fact that I just came in and used her for my pleasure.

Arianna is needy probably the neediest slave I have ever met, but I get so much in return The word needy never really crosses my mind. I knew she was needy when I first met her, I knew she needed to be micromanaged when I first met her. I knew everything upfront, I excepted her and I knew I had to follow through.

I cannot imagine what a Slave would feel like once that door closed. It has to be pretty scary. A very lost feeling, very unsure. I am not sure at what point the reality kicks in, I have never asked arianna that question.

Us as the Dominant there are only a few things we need to do, to make sure the relationship grows. We must stay honest, we must live by the truth, but most of all stay consistent , and we must follow through with what we say. If we do those few things and we stay in line. The Slave will follow, the Slave will drop to their knees without question, the slave will spread without question.

It took sometime for Arianna to stop second guessing me, to stop worrying about things. Today things have change for the most, at times she still wants to second guess, she still worries, I cannot change that so its on her, but I have seen a vast improvement.

Trust does not happen over night, it takes time to build. I am not talking a week a month maybe not even six months. I would imagine it would depend on how many times the slave has been burnt. Trust is everything.

Last but not least. The slave has to know there are consequences to their actions. The slave also has to know you will follow through with any punishment. If you do not follow through as you stated, you the Dominant will begin to lose control, once you lose that control. Kick the dirt and move on because you will not be able to regain.

Image

Vile

A Few Tips On Money And More

Posted in Advice, Arianna, bdsm, caught, Chat, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, Fake Dominants, Giving strangers money, http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/phoenix-lies-and-gets-herself-in-trouble/?replytocom=1380#respond, Lie, Lies, Manipulation, Punishment, slave, submissive on December 29, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Meeting someone at times can be very difficult, even more if you are meeting people online. Every day or most every day it seems most of my blog has grown into awareness and safety when it comes to the lifestyle.

The ones who need the advice are the ones who think they do not need it. The new ones who are just entering or thinking they may be submissive.

The same goes for the new Dominant who read 50 shades of grey. Now they know everything about the lifestyle, they know everything there is about the lifestyle. So lets find someone we can tie up and just fuck their brains out, beat their ass and move on.  Even when I have been asked for advice from other Doms, once I start to speak they lose interest fast. I suppose because I go into so much detail.

I was talking to a guy at work yesterday and he was complaining about how much a babysitter was 50.00 dollars a day for two kids, and I am thinking well you know that is really not that much. He kicked his girl friend out who is the mother of the kids. So I asked why don’t you let her move back in. He said well she is a stupid lazy cunt. The bitch will not get a job.

Wow okay , does she take care of the kids? he said yes. Does she cook ? He said yes. Does she clean house ? He said yes. Finely, does she give good head? Yes she does. What the fuck is your problem? The cunt will not get a job> It is a shame a lot of men think this way. Oh why did I bring up the head? Well I believe if your girl, submissive, slave gives good head there is a lot you can look over, that is just me.

Okay that was just a rant I got into I just wanted to make a point not all men think this way but a lot do. What is funny is if they had just a tad more control, and used the control to their advantage, their relationship would flow much smoother. The same thing happens when you try to take short cuts in life, it never works out.

You never get anywhere calling your girl a stupid cunt. That will get you nowhere fast, and here comes the fight, you have been trying to avoid all day but just your words is what started the war. So man up and suck it up, be fucking miserable. Complain everyday about how much your life sucks.

So meeting people can be a task, more so meeting someone you think your compatible with, and in the lifestyle that is not as easy as it seems.

Okay I receive about 200 emails a day, and maybe half are from different blogs. I will admit I cannot go to everyone everyday. I do how ever try and visit each one through out the week. So do not think I am ignoring your blog or I do not care that is not the case.

I take the time to sit and read what I can, work 55 hours a week , then take care of Arianna. My time is spread very thin. Then every now and then one catches my eye and I click on the link. Yesterday I think it was I clicked on Phoenix’s link. It started out

Phoenix lies and gets herself in trouble.

http://phoenixasubbie.wordpress.com/2013/12/26/phoenix-lies-and-gets-herself-in-trouble/?replytocom=1380#respond

So I started reading and she had met a man online and she felt the relationship was going in the right direction. They had been talking for a couple of months and he had not put any effort into meeting her, but what he did manage to do was get her to send him 300 dollars. She found out she had been scammed.

To make it worse I suppose she was in a relationship with another Dom, who she lied to and the confessed to sending him money. She was punished which she deserved. If it had been me it would of probably been much worse. At any rate I am going to guess it has not happened again. I am hoping that anyway.

I have seen men do the same thing, a lot of men on Collarme.com. Some girl will email the man, show interest in them. They will say I would love to be your slave but I do not have the money to get to you, can you wire me 500 dollars and I will be your no limit slave for life. Yes there are some really dumb men out there.

I learned a long time ago, if your a helper in life, and you thrive off of helping people, friends or family you will get burnt every time. Because once you start helping then it become expected. You know this is true

You as a human, a submissive a slave, you have to worry about one thing, and that is you, more so if you are single. You have to look out for yourself because no one else will. You can run someone to the store, you can take someone to work, you can take someone to the doctor, but keep your purse closed. You work way to hard to be giving out money, and most likely money you will never see again. Loaning money has ruined many friendships and has caused fights between family’s. You have to put it in your brain it is okay to say NO. You do not need to go into details. You may feel bad for a minute, but you did not cause the mess they are in. You take care of yourself first.

We all make mistakes, the only bad mistakes are the mistakes we make over and over. If you learn from your mistakes you will grow in the right direction.

Arianna use to loan her mother money all the time. She was like a walking ATM. I put a stop to that real fast. I felt she was being taking advantage of because it was expected.

Never give out your real email address. If you do all they have to do is google your email and your whole life pops up. Someone pointed out my real name was in my emails and I had to change it. I don’t want anyone to google my name. I am not ashamed of anything but you google my name then you google BDSM then images and people are visual.

Why would you send a complete stranger nude pictures of yourself, that does not make any sense. When I first met Arianna she sent me tons of pics, but I never asked for a nude one. That takes out all of the excitement, it leaves nothing to the imagination. If he is truly interested in you he would never ask. The same with getting on cam, most do not want to be naked on cam, while some do enjoy it, but for the most I know it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you do it to please, and to show your submissive.  Why get naked so some dude can jack off, that is all he is doing. If you enjoy phone sex have at it, but only after you meet. You need to be careful with what you share and how much you share at one time. You do not have to submit to anyone until you feel you are ready.

No real Dominant would want to start your training the first time you meet. The first time you meet is just that. You need to take the time to get to know each other.

I know when you first meet someone your excited, after the first fifteen minutes or so your thinking this is the one. Well he is not. Let him show a real interest in you as a person.

The biggest problem with the lifestyle BDSM is people more so men put a sexual label on it. Again it is not just about sex.

BDSM is about communication, structure, rules, protocols, being a couple. The rest just falls into place, then comes the kink, the wild sex, after you have formed a foundation. Phoenix asked me not long ago. How long should you wait? That depends on the person, and what your wanting out of the relationship. I can tell you spreading your legs or sucking cock does not make you submissive, at that point and time it makes you an object, and nothing more.

Bestraining.com has some of the best information on the world wide web, about how a relationship should be. The training process, what a relationship is suppose to be about. I found the Denversubmissive, who has a world of information about his life.  The life of a submissive.

I am a Dominant , well okay what makes you a Dominant? Because I like to be in control, I like bondage, spanking, flogging. Not a word about structure, communication has been mentioned. That does not make a Dominant.

When you first meet someone and you do not fuck on the first or second date your percentage stays pretty high when it comes to forming some type of relationship. If you lay on your back and spread the first time you meet, your percentage has dropped dramatically and chances are that will be your last meeting. There may be a few afterwards but it will be short lived.

I piss a lot of people off, I am guessing it is how open I am. I am straight to the point. If you asked a question, and you wanted to know the truth would you want them to beat around the bush or just tell you like it is..

A lot could be avoided if we just took a second to think. I will tell you this and I truly believe it. over 95% of our problems are self inflicting, mostly by trying to take short cuts or not listening to your brain.

If you are not in a long term relationship, more so if you have never met the guy, don’t give him any money. His problems are not your problems, and chances are your not the only one who has or is giving him money.

Image

Vile

Training And Fear And Fucking

Posted in Adapt, Aftercare, anal sex, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, Consistency, consistent, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Face Fucking, Fear, fucking, gagging, Giving Head, Golden showers, Honesty, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, Lie, Master, Mind Fuck, My Bitch, oral sex, piss, Protocol, punish, Punishment, Rough Sex, Rules, Scared, Security, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Task, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, use your submissive, whore on December 11, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

The first ninety days is the most important when it comes to training. I myself thing that once you put a plan together it is very important to stick to it.

The fear comes from the submissive, the not knowing what is going to happen, more so not knowing what to expect. There may be a little fear within the submissive not knowing if they will please or be able to meet your standards.

Training day begins I do not share anything, I do not give any ideas about what I am going to do. Just like I explained to Arianna watch and listen. That is all you really have to do.

Remember the Submissive will adapt to their new surroundings, and most will without question as long as you the Dominant keeps your word.

If you are new to the lifestyle the first ninety days will tell you if you really want to be part of a D’s relationship, in some cases it may take less than a week.

The first ninety days I gave no punishment, we were actually almost six months into our relationship before I had to punish Arianna. As a punishment I do not believe in spanking, because most who are submissive enjoy being spanked, so what is the point in doing something they enjoy when you punish. Arianna on the other hand is not into pain at all, so I decided that my best approach was to spank and I set that ass on fire. .

During the first ninety days a lot of positive reinforcement is needed, the idea is not to break down, but to build up. We want to point out the good, but we also need to correct when something is not done correctly. A firm voice without yelling or humiliating . The fear factor comes into play.

Your plan you must stick to exactly what you have planned, if you try to change things up you as the Dominant can get distracted, and may cause a little confusion.

The truth and always the truth, the first thing we tell a submissive is to always be truthful, never lie and always be upfront. If we cannot abide by the truth we cannot expect the submissive to. If we lie how can we expect the submissive to always be truthful. Once you gain their trust, that is the easy part, the hard part is keeping it. Once you break that trust you can almost never get it back.

I only started out with 4 rules as we progressed I added a few more. Handing someone a page full of rules, can really cause confusion, and again fear, the fear of forgetting. Some Dominants will hand out 25 maybe 50 rules and say you have to memorize each and everyone. Ask him if he knows them word for word, if not why or how could he expect you to. Rules are meant to give structure, and guidance. Rules are meant to be a reference for daily life.. If you give out to many at one time, the submissive will become overwhelmed , and feel like they are being set up for failure. Also rules we take bad habits and turn them into good ones. If you do this in a short time the Dominant will see a great improvement in any areas that needed work.

I was talking to a Submissive on the phone a couple of weeks ago, her and her Daddy Dom had split. When she broke a rule he would not punish, so there were no consequences for her actions, he was more worried what was for dinner.

I have found from past experiences if you do not stand by what you say and do what you mean you can lose control, again once you start to lose that control it is impossible to regain again. You cannot sit there and say I will change because it is to late. I changed because I let my feelings get in the way when it came to punishing or enforcing rules. I had a huge guilty feeling come over me and I no longer wanted to punish. In the end I lost control. Keeping our word is very important.

Arianna has daily task that has to be completed just like this am a list was completed and I will go through it and either keep it the way it is or I will veto if I feel she has put to much on herself. She has had a rough couple of days emotionally so I stepped in and helped out a little, yea I did dishes, cooked breakfast. Eggs bacon and sausage. I made her watch as I put three eggs into the frying pan and I flipped her without breaking a yoke. I broke one of mine so one out of six is not bad. Dinner I made a taco salad. We should step in at times and take some of the weight off of their shoulders. I like to show my appreciation.

From time to time I believe a little fear is needed, just like a little humiliation is needed. Sometimes the submissive starts to lose that feeling of submission, so we want to put them back in that mode..

Not long ago we were in our Den watching TV , Arianna was nude, I was on the couch she was on the floor, just looking at her drove me crazy. So I told her to spread, and she has these huge lips that look like butterfly lips that just makes me go bonkers. I stood up undressed crawled on top and just started fucking her as hard as I could. I wrapped my hand around her throat, and told her she was my whore, she was my cunt, but I had changed my voice up a little deeper , slower and I could see this look in her eyes. I told her to fuck me back and push, when she pushes I can feel her pussy grip my cock, and then her rocking her hips just WOW.

So I got up pulled her up by her hair and shoved my cock in her mouth  and started face fucking her, one hand one her chin and the other on the top of her head, pushing my cock in as as far as it would go.. Calling her my bitch, my whore, telling her that I owned her. After a few minutes I grabbed her by her hair again and pulled her into the kitchen bending her over the trash can and back in her pussy, I fucked her for a few minutes then I slipped it out and right into her ass. One hand around her throat the other with a handful of hair I banged her as hard as I could until I dumped my load. I then grabbed her hair taking her to the bathroom put her on her knees and I pissed all over her Tits, then came the cold shower. To me golden showers shows that I own, ownership.

She was scared, she did not know how to take my actions. After it was all said and done came the aftercare which was truly needed. I believe aftercare is needed but at times I am not at my best. So I am trying tp improve in that area.

The change in my voice, the way I was fucking, really confused her, not knowing how to act or respond but she went along with what I wanted to do and how I used her. It is good to have sex, sex makes life good. On the other hand it is okay to just use your submissive. Sometimes I will tell Arianna to go to the bedroom and strip putting her on the bed pulling her to the edge, fuck her and tell her to get dressed. Using puts them in that submissive state of mind.

The mind fuck, last week we went out for Mexican we were both stuffed Arianna was in the bathroom washing up and I told her to hurry, I said I have the brown bath towel on the bed I was ready. Her first thoughts were oh god he is going to face fuck me and I am going to puke. She procrastinated  for a good ten minutes once she walked in the bedroom and she saw no towel the look in her eyes were priceless. The mind fuck can be a very powerful, you can mind fuck even when joking, keeps them thinking.

You can tell when your cared for as well, the hug the kiss the way someone listens when your talking, you can just tell. I was getting head and Arianna asked if I wanted to finish in her ass, I love those words Fuck my ass. I had other plans though, I told her to lay on her side her mouth on my cock and I started fucking just like I was pounding her pussy, her arms were moving in the air her legs were kicking, I stopped from time to time to allow her to breath then right back at it, until I blew my load. It is okay to use your property. There is a very pleasing feeling that comes across your submissive when they know they have pleased.

Never share what your training plan is about. slowly implement things on a daily basis, give small hands on test. Such as Once I thought Arianna was ready I invited a Dom and Slave to our home and she was in full service, I am not talking sexually. When they both set down she was standing legs shoulder width apart arms behind back waiting for instructions for drinks and dinner. When training you train to fit your needs and wants. The submissive you train to fit their needs, their wants come later. If you say no then mean no, if you say yes then mean yes.

A little fear can be good with the proper aftercare the same with a little humiliation.

Image It is okay to use her.

Vile

I Am Me

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, Argue, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, blog, Bondage, Collar, communication, Consensual, control, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, Giving Head, Humiliation, Impact play, Kink, kinky, Lie, Lies, Love, Loyal, Master, Masters, munchs, needy, oral sex, sadist, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on December 6, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

In he past I have posted a little about who I am but I never have gone into any great detail. I have been into the lifestyle for longer than I can remember this dates back into my teens, before I even knew what BDSM was all about. Even in my teens I had the need to be in control.

I grew up in a very small town in Northern Georgia my 8th grade class had 23 people in our graduation. Going into high school it was somewhat bigger but total 9th 10th 11th and 12th only had about a thousand kids so compared to today’s school it was small. I played baseball in elementary and high school. I was a relief pitcher. I was only good for 2 or 3 innings though due to my side arm throw. At the age of 16 I was throwing 86 MPH so after a few innings my elbow would swell.

I was popular with most of the guys, but I cannot say the same about the girls , due to my sexual behavior. At that age I enjoyed bondage, face fucking, anal I was game for pretty much anything. It was a control things.

I caught onto life pretty fast I grew up in an abusive home, and both parents were addicted to pain medications, and of course alcohol. The one thing I learned on a daily basis is I was not going to be like them. To this day I could never figure out why they argued. My real mother has since past but my father is still living and we have somewhat of a good relationship. I have one brother who just turned 46 I am 51 by the way. Him and I talk often but have only seen each other maybe 3 or 4 times in the past 15 years.

I have never really been into drugs although as a teen I tried to smoke all the pot in the world but they just grew more so I lost that battle, I have never done any hard drugs such as cocaine , I am not big on pills , but I do have a drink from time to time. Every now and then I will get sideways but that is far and few.

I learned about the lifestyle shortly after I joined the Army and was stationed in Korea, and even then I just happen to stumble into it. I was introduced to an old man named Kim who lived with 5 slaves.

There is a huge difference in the lifestyle than in the US. In Korea a Slave would have nothing to do with a Dominant or Master unless she knew who trained you. Since the lifestyle in Asia is so underground it is probably still the same.

Once back in the states I was still young and dumb, but I had a couple of things on my side. I no longer had a temper, I was very calm, and I knew how to get into someones head. All of the sex, face fucking, ass fucking meant nothing but now I had a weapon that was very effective.

So for many years I spent most of my time just using, I would get what I wanted and just toss to the side and look for the next. This went on for a number of years. To me a long term relationship was a three day weekend, much more past that I was just bored.

One thing I did learn and it can be good and bad, I learned from an early age to speak my mind, If I thought it I said it. Another thing I learned was to observe people, I am a people watcher. What I learned from watching people is how I did not want to live.

So I have had several long term relationships, but have only been in what I would call love maybe 3 times in my 51 years. That is not a very good track record. In between up until a couple of years ago there were a couple of times I settled for less that what I needed and wanted, knowing it was not going to work, but I am human.

How you see me on here is me, once I log on and I start a new post I do not change. I am the same at home, in public, at work or at a local munch, I am me. I never try to be someone I am not.

I remember several years ago and this is what hit me, I was at a Chinese buffet with a friend and another friend showed up with a date, and when he said hey Vile whats up I asked them to sit down and join us and his date was just starring at me, and finely asked if I use to live in these apartments and I said yes. She actually started trembling and told her date she wanted to leave. She was truly scared of me. On my way home Animel and I were laughing at her, but once home I mixed a jack and coke and I was standing outside on the river bank and I started thinking. Wow if she was scared of me just how many more feel the same way. Then it hit me being feared is nothing to be proud of, that is not how I wanted to be known as.

So I put a plan together, I was going on a Vile clean up campaign. I was going to be my own public relations manger. I was going to clean the story of Vile up.

I became more active in the community. I started doing a lot of speaking, dating more, changing up my way of playing, putting my sadistic nature to the side, and before I knew it I was back in the game, I was back in the hunt. I was no longer feared I was very respected in the community, today even more so.  So a year later standing outside looking over the river drinking a jack and coke, I thought to myself well done Vile you did the impossible.

I was still missing something though and I could not put my finger on it, then I was at Bush Gardens one day and I saw all of these family’s walking by with kids and I said that is it man you need a wife and a kid. So off I went 3 months later I was married and a short time after she was pregnant. We lost our first son to a heart transplant he was 18 days old. By this time I had enough of the vanilla life and I had to get back to being me, and wow she was pregnant again. So I stuck it out for another 3.5 years then I had to come clean about who and what I was.

Now I was married for nine years to the most vanilla woman in the world, the sex was horrible, she could not suck a dick to save her life, and no ass fucking. I said you are killing me here. So after I came clean she agreed to let me move a Slave in, yea baby , but she was only an in service slave, NO SEX. My ex-wife was a horrible house keeper, she could not cook, and clutter everywhere. So I moved this bitch in and she went to work. A week later spotless house, meals cooked every night, my lunch packed kids off to school, picked up this was the life. So my ex gets jealous and says you both have to go. Let me think okay I am out of here. I told the salve hey its been nice love ya go back home.

I have a very good relationship with my Ex wife, there is no drama, Arianna and her get along good, my son likes Arianna. So now life is good.

So when I log onto wordpress I am me, this is who I am. If I were to try and be something different what would people who read here think of me. I tell the truth , I live by the truth.

Many have asked for advice and when I tell them what they do not want to hear, most get mad. If I told everyone what they wanted to hear where would that get you ?

I do not want you to agree with everything I post, or the way I believe, the way I think. My post are to make you think, my post are meant to be objective.

Much of my blog is about safety okay so Ive had a change of heart over the past several years. I speak on safety because you as a submissive or slave can get fucked up, you can get hurt and hurt bad. Most do not think before entering a relationship. More so the new who are entering the lifestyle. You do not listen until it is to late. You want what you want and you want it now. It does not work that way

So the next morning when you wake up and your bruised from head to toe, or something is broken, you can think back, yea Vile told me, and I did not listen. Bondage is no game and if you get some dude that does not have a clue to what he is doing, you just may not wake up the next morning.

Most new Doms are into hard impact play, again if he does not know what he is doing he could break sometime, or even worse while spanking and he hits to high and to hard, you could lose a kidney. BDSM is not a game you can get fucked up. Bondage there are many no’s. You can damage tendons if tied to tight. Remember that when you meet a Dom for the first time and he brings his little travel bag and he is totally clueless about what he is going to do. Yea take his word when he says oh I have been in the lifestyle for 20 years. Are you really going to take his word ?

The first thing I did when Arianna and I agreed to enter a relationship was to introduce her to people I knew in the lifestyle people I had known for years. There is nothing like the feeling of being safe.

Keeping your girls safe is what the majority of my blog is about, it is up to you if you listen or not. Again why do you think that over 95% of the 236 followers are women and there are so few men ?

I am not here to put other Doms or Masters down. I am not here to say I am better than your Master, because I am not we all have our own way of living.

Being a Submissive or Slave is not about being on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor, doing laundry , cooking or cleaning house. Being a Slave is not about being passed around like a dog, unless that is your kink, if so then go with the flow. Being a Slave does not mean your stupid, or you cannot think on your own. You are human, but a Human with different needs.

Slaves are needy for the most as with those who are submissive. You should not have to change who you are. I like needy myself, I like my Bitch to hang all over me. If your Master excepted you the way you were then he should not try and change you.

I share things because I want you to see what kind of relationship you can have, a relationship filled with love and respect. A relationship where you are cared for. A relationship filled with communication, then you add all of the kink.

You do not have to put up with drama, you do not have to put up with lies , you do not have to put up with abuse, arguing the list goes on and on. Before a Slave or Submissive you are human, you have feelings, you have needs and they should be met. If they are not speak your mind and if things do not change, fucking leave.

Why would a Master argue with his Slave ? Who is in charge at this point ? Why would you allow a Master to Slap you around ? degrade you, humiliate you in anger, call you names out of anger. Why would you allow such things ?

You as a slave or submissive has the right to be happy treated with respect, you do not needs someones drama brought into your life nor should you bring your drama with you.

I put a lot of work into my relationship 25 hours a day 8 days a week 366 days a year. I take care of mine and only mine. I am there through good and bad. I am there when Arianna gets emotional . My time is dedicated to her and only her. I am not looking to add to my house. Because I get anything I want when I want.  She would never think of saying NO. Be it sucking my cock, fucking , anal anything. Why ? Because I go above and beyond to insure she is taking care of. She knows that not matter what she comes first. That is the way it should be.

Be who and what you are, and make sure your Master does the same.

Image

Vile