Archive for the life Category

We All Make Mistakes

Posted in bdsm, life, mistakes on December 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay so this is my next post but it is not the one I was speaking about. This is not directed towards anyone. I wake up with things on my mind and I feel like I should share at time.

We are human , we all make mistakes, we all make bad judgement calls.  Some continue to make mistakes until we get slapped in the face by what is called reality. Then and only then if we learn from our past and we do everything we can to correct it, and we work to stay on the right path, then all the mistakes we made was well worth it.

Sometimes it takes us years to find ourselves making mistakes along the way, or we may just have to get our kinks out of our system.

If in a relationship and we make mistakes, if we come clean and admit our faults or mistakes and do everything we can to correct what we have done, then we have learned from our past.

We have to be who we are, we have to live our own life, we have to be happy.

Just some of my thoughts.

Vile

Being depressed Is Not The End Of The World.

Posted in abuse, Advice, anti depression medication, Baggage, bdsm, Bond, Change, codependent, communication, control, controlling, Conversation, counselor or Psychiatrists, Depressed, Depression, disable, Discipline, Dominance, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, Fear, Health, Humiliation, Kink, Lie, Lies, life, Love, masochist, Master, Mentor, needy, non caring, Paranoid schizophrenia, Patience, proactive aftercare, problems, provocative, sadist, Scared, slave, submissive, TPE on April 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your laying in bed one night reading erotica , and you stumble across a BDSM story. You find it intriguing, interesting. You go to sleep , and the next morning your thinking about the story. During the day the story you read really makes you think. Hmm maybe just maybe this is me. Maybe I am a Slave, maybe this is what I have been missing.

Books are a great source of information, but you are only getting ones opinion. The same if you are depressed and your seeing a doctor, you are only getting ones opinion, you see another doctor and more than likely you will get another opinion. Sometimes in life you have to take what you see, read, and hear with a grain of salt. The Story Of O is a great book. This is the story of ones life. It can give you ideas and thoughts on how you want your life to be, but the truth is you have to find your own Story. You have to start out with an empty book and write it yourself.

I will agree that many of those who are submissive or slaves can be late bloomers. There is a hidden trigger in your brain, and something just flicked the switch, now the search is on. In my time I have never met a Submissive or Slave who did not suffer with some type of depression, anxiety, maybe bipolar, you get the picture. There is a switch in your brain and something turns it on.

Something from childhood, may have happened at a very young age, and your brain has now blocked it, maybe abused at a young age. More extreme raped, or even molested. I have heard all of the above.

I was recently told by a Medical professional that someone who suffers from being bipolar and depression, as well as other mental issues, can live a very healthy life while in the lifestyle under the right conditions. Fucking listen, THE RIGHT CONDITIONS.

Stability is a major factor, a stable home. Structure, in a stable home. Communication in a stable home. The Dominant must try to understand the illness. The Dominant must take part in all treatment. The Dominant must ask questions, after all you are concerned about yours.

The Slave must be honest when seeing Doctors, counselors, Psychiatrist, you have to be honest. Never be ashamed of who and what you are. If you do not talk about your lifestyle, your treatment may not be effective.

I actually thought while speaking with this counselor, I was going to be hammered, I was going to be giving the third degree, just general conversation, but still when she began to explain how under the right conditions a BDSM lifestyle can be healthy. Again this was only ones opinion.

In most cases the Submissive or Slave will bond with one, that being the Dominant. She is looking for support, guidance, structure, and someplace safe and stable. They are afraid when out alone, at times they get manic, the anxiety  level is at an all time high, and mass confusion hits.

There are things a Dominant will have to do in such as relationship, if he truly cares he has to step up to the plate. You know sending your slave to the store cause Anxiety. So you have to make the trip with your slave. Most who are Submissive or a slave cannot handle confrontation, guess what the Dominant has to step up to the plate. If the Submissive or Slave makes a mistake, the Dominant has to fix it. The Dominant may have to make phone calls. The Dominant may have to do most of the cooking, stepping up to the plate.

If you are in the lifestyle as a Dominant just for the pussy, the kink, the physical abuse, you are really not going to give a fuck. What you are doing as the suppose to be Dominant is causing more damage, you are turning on more switches, then poof your going as fast as you came.

Very seldom do you see a Dominant as a late Bloomer. The majority of Dominants have been Dominant since childhood, it is in your personality. Once you become interested in the lifestyle , it can takes years to master your Dominance. As I have stated before I had a few great mentors. Today I have two I confide in.  To this day when I am speaking to an older Dominant you will hear me call him Sir, out of respect.

A man cannot wake one Morning and say I am a Master, that does not happen. You cannot wake one morning and be ready or willing to take on the responsibility of someones life. Be able to guide, put structure into their life, guidelines and be consistent it cannot happen. This is not old school talking this is common sense.

Most who are Submissive or Slaves tend to trust to fast. They truly believe they have found the one. Early on they spill their heart, they share all the good, the bad, and the mistakes they have made. You as the Dominant must take all this information in, you digest it, then you put your plan into motion.

I have seen Dominants use what has been told to them as ammunition, and at some point in the relationship they throw it back in their face causing more hurt. Why would you as a Dominant do such a thing, when you were trusted? The Submissive confided in you, the submissive was being honest.

We as Dominants must be supportive, we must encourage, guide, and walk hand in hand. Although in some cases we do have to allow one to stumble, not fall, at times we have to say Yes, we have to let one make a mistake. You cannot spend your relationship saying no.Even when they stumble we still need to praise the effort that was put into what ever the Submissive or slave was trying to accomplish. Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Stumble but not fall. If for some reason they do fall, we have to be willing to pick up, dust off and continue walking.

Here is the kicker, and this takes much thought. You as the Dominant are getting ready to enter a new found relationship. The Submissive or Slave has just spilled their heart. They suffer from all of the above. You know you are going to have to spend a great deal of time with yours. You may have to give things up in your life, bowling night, Bar night with the buddies, Because you now have someone glued to your side.

You are entering a relationship , you have to think long and hard if you as a Dominant want this type of responsibly, because once you start you are committed. You as the Dominant have giving your word. You will be there no matter what. The crying, the confusion, the midnight phone calls. You cannot complain because you made a promise and a commitment. You have said Play Ball.

Just like the Slave or Submissive the Dominant cannot read a book, if you are a true Dominant what you have is already there. A good mentor can bring the best out, but what you are taught, you have to take bits and pieces and put your own to work, your own style. The way you run your house, your own rules, and protocol. You have to be you.

If you are a Sadist, find a Masochist. Do not take someone who is not into pain and force one to be willing to explore your needs. Physical abuse is not tolerated, and that is what you are doing. Never force one to do something that is unhealthy. In many cases a Submissive or Slave will do things just to please, without thinking of the consequences. You as the Dominant may think everything is fine, when in fact it is not. They will not say anything and let you continue, and what you are doing is chipping away at wood, and eventually the wood will be gone.

Having an illness is not the end of the world for the submissive, they can lead a very productive life, under the right conditions. Please do not think that everyday is going to be cake and ice cream, because if you do you are living in a fantasy world.

You as the Dominate must step up to the plate it may be full or only half. When a problem arises you have to be willing to work through it. Most of all if you really care, you may have to adjust your whole life around the submissive.

It is up to the Dominate to dig deep, what kinds of medication? What are you taking them for. Listen to their story, take it in, digest it, and put it to good use.

You as the Dominant make have to make all the decisions, in everyday life. You have to be willing to accept this task. No matter what you must never complain. Take the Ball and run with it.  Most of all never use their sickness against them, never throw anything back in there face. If you do what you have built you have just destroyed. Everything you have built is now gone, you have to start from scratch, if the submissive will allow you to.

You the Dominant must be in control at all time, there is never a reason to yell, scream, argue, put down, degrade, abuse. You must be in control and not controlling.

Down time is very important. This is needed not for one but for both. I know once I put Arianna to bed, I take a deep breath and then and only then can I relax. This is my down time. It is good to suggest hobbies, allow them to go out for a day without breathing down their neck, the mall, a book store, or just taking a nap. Down Time is crucial and it is a need. This allows the Submissive or Slave to breath, relax, take in the fresh air.  You as the Dominant should suggest the down time, encourage. Allow some freedom, when they are out don’t be blowing their phone up . Allow them to have friends, see family Go with them if asked. Don’t make an excuse why you cant. Do not seem like you are thinking about their request just do it.

With the exception of a few illnesses you can have a healthy relationship. I would say someone who suffers from Paranoid schizophrenia would be a huge no no, unless you have been in a relationship for a very long time.

Most who suffer from any type of illness are visual people. You will see many times a submissive or Slave writing things down. This is the visual. When they are trying to make a decision you may have to communicate the logic part to them. Allow them to be visual encourage them. Writing things down they can see the pros and cons, talk to them about what they are feeling.

You can live a very happy life, if you the Dominant are willing to take the right steps. If you are there just to use, you need to sit back and think of the damage you are doing or have done.

One thing you cannot and must never do is remind the submissive or slave what you have done for them, throw back in their face well where would you be without me.

Karma is a Mother Fucker.

 

Vile

Sex When I want It, And On My Terms

Posted in 24/7, abuse, anal sex, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, ass play, bdsm, blow job, Collarme.com, communication, control, controlling, cum, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Deception, Divorce, Dominants, dress, Eating Pussy, emotional, Emotions, ethics, fetlife, foreplay, fucking, Giving Head, Honesty, infidelity, Law, Lies, life, Married Dominant, Married submissive, Master, Masters, men begging, morals, needy, No Rights, non caring, oral, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, pleasure, positive reinforcement, Private Protocol, Protocol, Protocol public, pussy, Respect, Rough Sex, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, serve, sex, sex slaves, slave, submissive, sucking dick, The word NO, TPE, Trust, Viles House on February 26, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not sure if sex is one of the advantages of being a Dominant has anything to do with this topic, but I hear a lot of vanilla guys talking about how their women cut them off, or they wont suck dick, and how their girlfriends refuse to have anal sex.

The truth be known many vanilla men are pussy’s. In many cases the female holds sex hostage, to use at their advantage, usually to get what they want. I remember hearing my aunt talking yo my uncle when I was very young, how he had better watch his mouth because it was not Thursday yet, which was payday for him. She may of been playing but now that I look back on it maybe she was serious. My uncle was an average looking guy nothing special. My aunt had always dated rich men she was catered to. My uncle was a union carpenter at that time he made like 14 an hr, back in the early 70’s I guess that was considered good money. I remember hearing my aunt saying how my uncle was not much to look at, but he treated her like a princess, but still she held sex hostage.

I got a lot of flake off of a post I wrote several months ago about how women were put here to serve.Well in most cases I still stand firm on my beliefs. There are those exceptions where the woman runs the house. There are those exceptions where the woman controls the man, and the man just bows down. I would imagine some are happy, but then again there are those men who lost their control early on, and had no idea how to regain it, or maybe just to afraid to grab their balls and step up to the plate, in fear of what? Yup not getting pussy, their weekly reward, get on and get off and leave me alone until next Thursday.

Some men just cower down like a beat puppy. This really in many ways makes me sick to my stomach , I cringe when I hear those almighty words YES DEAR. Wow really are you serious? Your really going to take that. Your going to put your head down turn around and run off to the little man cave she allows you to have so you are out of her hair. All because you are pussy whipped.

Those were the choices you made before getting married, or moving in with your girlfriend. I have a friend named matt, who lives with a girl, and he can only get on collarme or fetlife when she is not home. Now at one time he was a Daddy Dom or I thought he was, but like many people who are willing to settle for less until the next best thing comes along. So yea he is pussy whipped to the max, his penis runs his life. Matt is not allowed to come over to my house because his girlfriend thinks I am a bad influence on him. Me a bad influence on someone well it is possible I suppose.

Another friend Fred, I am not allowed over at his place anymore because of the same thing yea a bad influence. Fred pays a hooker 10.00 dollars twice a week to give him a blow job, I have never seen her but 10.00 bucks really, I can just imagine what she looks like. This has been going on for about five years same girl. Why? because his wife refuses to give head, or do anal, but he knew this before getting married.

So him and I are standing in the kitchen, I really hated going over to his place, they have 7 cats, and as many birds but the litter boxes are over running, the bird cages are dirty, and the smell is just well, like a land field. His wife stays home all day playing games on the computer. She does not cook very often, most of the time he picks up a pizza before coming home. So we are talking about this bitch he pays to suck his dick. He is paying roughly a thousand dollars a yr for head, plus keeping his wife up. That is just crazy, more so it is uncalled for. So I told him go in the living room drop your pants and tell her to give you head. Well her being the nosy bitch she is over heard me, here she comes running in the kitchen. Excuse me what did you say? I told fred to go in the living room drop his pants and tell you to give him head, if you did that he would not be paying a bitch to suck his dick. Okay she did not know about the hooker, my bad. He knew before he married the cow she did not suck dick or take it up the ass. He should man up and except his own stupidity. He made the choice he dug his own grave so suck it up.

We all know how I feel about infidelity ,I feel once in a relationship the two should remain monogamous, unless, and I do mean unless, the couple has made arrangements. The problem with cheating, you really do not know someone you just met, and the odds of taking something home are really great. How much guilt would that carry? Would your marriage be reparable ? Is it worth putting your family through such an ordeal when you get caught, because you will get caught, it is not how, it is when.. I have absolutely no respect for a dominant who steps out of his marriage because his wife wont take it up the ass. So he finds a bitch who will, knowing he will never leave his wife, kids and lose his home, on top of all the money he will end up paying out. Now the submissive is thinking different, and it will take about a year of ass fucking for her to figure that out.

A Dominant who is married, and steps out of his marriage is a punk ass pussy. Your a fake hiding behind a title you do not deserve. While you have some bitch tied to a bed, your loving wife is home cooking dinner and helping the kids with their home work. Fuck I get worked up over this bullshit. Your a pussy and I will tell you to your face.

Here is the thing, I have a friend who is a Dominant, he is seeing a married woman, he is married as well but separated. The married submissive can only have sex with her husband when she is given permission. Are you kidding me? Her husband puts food on the table, pays her bills, a roof over her head, and a car to drive, but she is not allowed to have sex with him. Get the fuck out. The same goes for a female if your not happy, cut the rope and get the fuck out, be who you need to be, you do not have to drag your whole family down with you.

Maybe being a Dominant and owner does have its advantages, but I have met other Dom’s who have the same problem, they are pussy whipped, the first time a submissive says no , the dominant blows up then he wants to exert his authority. I am your Master Bitch you will do as I say. Come on now you have heard it as well, or the Dom will start pouting, or even worse he will pull the guilt trip out of his box of tricks.

The word NO is not in Arianna’s vocabulary, the word NO never comes out of her mouth. I will admit she still does hesitate at somethings, but she is slowly learning , I have her best interest in mind.

Sex I love sex, I love to fuck, I love getting my dick sucked, I love eating pussy, and if I am really into you I will even rim. Last night I rubbed lotion on Arianna, maybe not a full massage but close. Then I just got the urge to go down on her, so down south I went, for a good ten minutes or so, just loving life. I did not want anything in return, I just love eating pussy. So without saying a word I pulled the covers down I opened her thighs and went to town, I did not ask or say a word. The same with getting head, if I am in the mood laying in bed, I will just grab her by her hair and pull her down to my cock.

Yesterday I got the urge to fuck, I told Arianna to strip and get on her back, she did as instructed, I crawled on top busted a nut, and got off of her, I was done. Now most of the time I spend a lot of time when it comes to sex, I love hearing and seeing a woman get off, so I try to make sure I take care of her, but at times it is just about me.

I run my house, I control my house, it is my way and only my way, no questions asked. This was the agreement we had before entering a relationship. Sex when I want, how I want, where I want, be it oral, pussy or anal, it is about me. If you settle for less, you will never be happy, and I refuse to end up being the cheating Dom having to rent a motel room. I refuse to pay for pussy.

Being a Dominant, a Master and owner means a great deal of responsibility, A Dominant should be able to give 100% and no less to his property. We must be available 24/7. Because if you are not, she will find someone who will be, it make take a little time but she will dump your sorry ass.

Sex is on my terms. Now if Arianna is not feeling well. I am considerate enough to wait. Again on my terms.

When out I do not dress Arianna like a slut, although she would wear what she was told to wear. When going out I instruct her on what she will be wearing. In the afternoon, I have clothes laid out, she knows to come in, pull her shoes off at the door, pick up her clothes and shower, no questions asked.

Arianna does not have options the only options are those I allow her. I do not talk much about our business, I generally just handle things, Arianna has enough on her plate now, so I do not bother her with the little stuff. The other day she asked about something, then she made the comment, well I guess it is on a need to know basis. My reply was your correct. If I feel I need to asked her for advice I will, but until then it is on a need to know.

Arianna comes first, no matter what. She knows she can wake me at 2am if she needs to, if she feels she needs to talk. She does however wake me to request to go to the bathroom, then permission to re-enter the bed. I am good with that. She was told early on about getting up or entering the bed.

Most would think our relationship is one way, but that is far from the course, most think my way of running a house is somewhat unorthodox , some think I am to strict. Well they do not pay my bills, nor does anyone put food on my table. How I run my house is my business. As long as Arianna is happy that is all that matters to me.

Arianna is by far the most compliant slave I have ever met. She enjoys task, she loves structure. She loves being limited to where she is allowed to sit. I do not believe Arianna could ever be replaced.

Sex on my terms, and only my terms. You guys need to think about those words instead of paying for a motel room, so you can have it on your terms. Go home to your wife.

 

Vile

Do You Really Want To Live In Total Servitude / Solitude

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anticipation, Arianna, bdsm, Bdsm events, BDSM Safety, Bond, Change, codependent, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, events, forced sex slaves, Health, life, Loyal, Master, Masters, molding your slave, morals, munchs, needy, non-consensual, Owned Slave, owning a slave, Patience, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, serve, slave, Stockholm syndrome, submissive, Total Servitude / Solitude, Total Solitude, TPE, training your slave on February 19, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Stockholm syndrome, Patricia Campbell Hearst, who was kidnapped by the Symbionese Liberation Army, but later joined them in their fight. Patty went through a form of Stockholm.

As one would living in a Master and Slave relationship. Total servitude, total solitude. No connection with the outside world. The only contact with anyone would be when your Master allowed, or perhaps when he had company over.

At one point I was seeking a total servitude slave, I searched for about six months, and I came across several slaves who were interested, but after giving it deeper thought, I began to look at both sides of the coin. The good and the Bad. The cost for one could really sky rocket, if the Master and Slave were not married, I am speaking of just healthcare alone. Between 600 and 900 a month alone for a private policy.

The side effects could be more dangerous though I do believe. Total solitude, being trained to fit one mans needs. At his service 24/7 be it sexual or domestic.

Arianna and I watched the movie The Pet last week, besides the ending and what the slaves were being used for Arianna really liked it. I explained that human trafficking was alive and well today. In the movie The Pet, which was a real disappointment to the BDSM community, was not only based on human trafficking, but the selling of organs. The Pets were being conditioned and brought to perfect health. Once achieved they were sold on the open market.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime stated that there were 2.4 million people around the world who are victims of human trafficking at any given time in 2012.

80 percent of the victims were involved in sexual services.

The UNODC also stated that human trafficking is a $32 Billion market.

Living as a Slave in total solitude, in service to one, would be much like Stockholm syndrome. In a short time, I am speaking a few weeks to a month, I believe you would begin to lose some of your senses. You would begin to lose the ability to think on your own. You would have to be told every move to make, even cooking or how to do laundry.

If you just take the time to sit back and think of how a relationship such as this would work. It may seem fine for a short period, but being in contact with one one, being trained, and fully conditioned to serve. Even after a short time if company did come over, to the slave it would be like no one is even there, your only care would be your master and owner.

The Pet, although it was just a movie, the way it was explained, Any man or woman could be forced to sever as a slave, but after a short time it would become willingly. You begin to lose senses, the ability to care, in some cases even think. Your only purpose or care would be to serve,and serve without question.

I do not want you to think that a lifestyle as such is not real in today’s times, I can almost promise you it is. Just as women being sold into slavery.

This all sounds bad but it gets worse. The Master and Slave are together for lets say a period of five years. The Master becomes ill, and passes away. Where does this leave the slave? How does the slave now function on her own? How does the slave begin to provide for herself?

I have heard through the grapevine , that a Master would choose another master if he should become ill or perhaps be in some kind of accident. The other Master would then step in, and take over. I have only heard of this I have never seen it first hand. I am not sure if I would or could trust someone else enough to take care of my property.

So living in a Master / Slave total servitude / Solitude relationship. In just a period of weeks the slave would go through some major transformations. You would begin to lose your thought process. You would begin to not care, and deeper into the relationship it would be hard for the slave to comprehend the slaves surroundings. Your only purpose in life would be the one who owned. Again this is just my opinion.

Those who have gone through deprivation of some type, for more than several hours would suffer from the same disorders, I do not think the effects would be long term, but after only a couple of hours you begin to lose some of your senses. After being in a deprivation tank longer than a couple of hours, the slave would need some major aftercare. Just to bring back to reality.

Pretty Interesting.

Consensual Slavery.

n BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual (the submissive) gives to another (the dominant) ultimate authority over them. It is a form of dominance and submission. The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship is structured in terms of slavery, because of the association of the term with ownership of the slave and the rights of a master to their body, as property or chattel. The dominant is often called Master if male, or Mistress if female.

The owner/slave relationship is usually entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, which is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[1]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Non-Consensual Slavery

Slavery is a system under which people are treated as property to be bought and sold, and are forced to work.[1] Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation. Historically, slavery was institutionally recognized by many societies; in more recent times slavery has been outlawed in most societies but continues through the practices of debt bondage, indentured servitude, serfdom, domestic servants kept in captivity, certain adoptions in which children are forced to work as slaves, child soldiers, and forced marriage.[2] There are more slaves in the early 21st century than at any previous time but opponents hope slavery can be eradicated within 30 years.[3]

Slavery predates written records and has existed in many cultures.[4] The number of slaves today remains as high as 12 million[5] to 27 million.[6][7] Most are debt slaves, largely in South Asia, who are under debt bondage incurred by lenders, sometimes even for generations.[8] Human trafficking is primarily used for forcing women and children into sex industries.[9]

In pre-industrial societies, slaves and their labour were economically extremely important. Slaves and serfs made up around three-quarters of the world’s population at the beginning of the 19th century.[10]

In modern mechanised societies, there is less need for sheer massive manpower; Norbert Wiener wrote that “mechanical labor has most of the economic properties of slave labor, though … it does not involve the direct demoralizing effects of human cruelty.

I was speaking with a Dom at a munch recently , and he was telling me he was looking for a Master / Slave consensual and non-consensual relationship. When I asked him to elaborate on the subject in more detail, he told me he could not because he did not know me well enough. As of now he is single, but his target is to have four slaves living at home.

The fact is, while in a Master and Slave enter a relationship, even if not total servitude or solitude. The slave goes through a slight transformation. The slave comes to know she only has one to answer to. Great care must be giving for those who work. The slave needs to know it is okay for a supervisor to give orders. I am speaking from experience. The slaves world only revolves around her owner. The slave becomes dependent upon her owner. Great care must be giving, not to take advantage of what has been giving. The slave becomes codependent, again great care must be giving. The amount of trust giving is probably a unheard of number.

This is why it is very important to allow the slave to interact with others. Like munch’s friends and most importantly family. Family should always come first no matter what. A golden rule never try to come between a slave and her mother, it will not work, no matter how fucked up you think the mother is., again speaking from experience.

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Vile

Why a Slave and not a Submissive

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, Bestslavetraining.com, Bond, Busy, chain, Change, codependent, Collars, Consensual, control, Conversation, Discipline, discussion group, Dominants, emotional, events, Friends, life, Master, Masters, molding your slave, munchs, needy, Open Minded, Protocol, relationships, Respect, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, Sane, slave, Task, Text, TPE, training your slave on January 8, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

 

Once I fully recovered from my break up with Bea, I began to search yet again for the one. The one who was suppose to fill that void. The one who was suppose to be my best friend and submissive.
It is funny to a submissive I am very strict, almost unbearable, no breathing room. To a slave I am not strict enough. A week ago I posted about my daily life. How many of those who are submissive could endure a daily life as such. To a slave at times I am not in control of enough, and at times I am not strict enough.
Being a Dominant over a slave is much more in depth than a Dominant over a submissive, the control is much different, and I do believe the bond runs much deeper.
The training, every time I bring up the word train it sounds out of place, but in fact that is what we as Dominants are doing. It even runs as deep as making some behavioral modifications. We control time, we control almost every movement, we control food, bath, sleep, and dress. We who are in a relationship with a slave, are in control nearly 24/7.
Yesterday I gave Tish some down time, to relax, her own space. I saw that it was much needed, even before yesterday. To do what ever she wanted, listen to music, her journal, or sleep which she has no problem with, Tish is like cat when it comes to sleep.
So the training process, every Slave is different, every slave has different needs. I had implemented many things. I had taking control of almost her daily life. Even to to point of cutting her spending down.  This was her needs, this is what she told me she needed, so I had to sit down and come up with a workable plan, so that she would still be able to function in everyday life. It is almost like upgrading windows in your computer. The one thing you have to make certain is, every step you take, you have to insure everything is about the slave, everything is about the betterment of the slave.  Just as the rules and guidelines should be.
It really kills me to see a submissive show me a copy of their rules, and yes I do get rules emailed to me. The rules state you must worship your master cock. You must worship your masters body. You will suck my cock on demand.
The truth is for those of you who are not spending 24/7 together , the submissive spends more time sucking cock than having actual sex, so at least you know where you stand in the relationship. Do not even say its not true, because I am guilty of having subs do the same thing back in the day. We go a couple of months without seeing you, then I wake and think man I need some good head.
Tish and I attended our first munch Friday night, another Dom had stopped by and picked us up. Tish was really nervous about going and being around other people. I was not nervous but the last time I had seen the Dom who was hosting the munch we were almost nose to nose in a heated argument. I must say things were much different, both of us were very welcomed, E and I got along very well. Tish did relax and was able to give her input into a couple of different topics that were covered.
On the way to the munch Tish was somewhat nervous, it was her first, and did not know what to expect. So I get a text from Tish who is sitting in the back seat, and Rob ask me if she just text me. I answered yea why. Robs reply was I was enabling her. Well while I did not answer her, this is an agreement Tish and I have about open communication, and she felt what she had to say was only for me, and I fully understood.
So the training process is off to a good start, I know I get off track at times. The fact is a Master/ Slave relationship is well and alive today. It is hard for some of the submissives to see that type of a relationship in a visual sense. Or even a submissive living such a life.
The Slave is the one who ask the Master if he will take her as his slave. The slave lays out the ground work of how she see’s an M’s relationship in her eyes. She tells the master what she needs out of the relationship. Then the Master either agrees he can or he cannot.

Tish is not difficult, we are at a Micromanagement type relationship. What rights does she have? Only the rights I allow.Now before anyone jumps to any conclusion all of this has been discussed in great detail. The relationship is about the slaves needs, not wants but needs. The idea situation is to slowly implement rules, or as I call guidelines. Doing so slowly but being consistent does not overwhelm the slave. A slow gradual process  so nothing is really noticed, or if it is noticed, it is not enough to bring on any stress.

So during the munch we were all talking about 24/7 TPE Total Power Exchange. E made the comment that if were really in a TPE I would have control over Tish’s bank account. My reply was as a matter of fact I do have complete control over her bank account, and she is held accountable for everything she spends. The conversation ended there. Although I do have control, I do not touch her money. Her money is just that. Again this is control she wanted to give up.

To me a TPE is an ideal relationship for me anyway. The thing that is almost impossible is to find a Dominant who is not going to take advantage of the slave, not only on an emotional level, but mental as well.

Being with a slave is not just fun and games like most think. I hear men all the time, make statements on how they would love to have a relationship like mine, but when I explain all the details, they just look at me.

I do not have a book or an manual to go by, I do not have a check list I go by, everything is stashed away upstairs. Now what I have to do is remember everything, and stay consistent in the relationship. Another important factor is our life is not surrounded by just BDSM , we are best friends, we talk and laugh. We play cards together. Then the most important part is our nightly talks face to face on the bed, before I allow her to sleep. Once she enters the bed , she picks up her chain and I lock it around her neck, then our conversation begins. I prefer a chain to lets say leather cuffs or a leather collar because a chain gives her a greater piece of mind, she feels more owned. I will say she sleeps very peaceful.

I have tried relationships with those who are submissive, and it never works. I need the control, it is a 24/7 need. I do not have a switch I can turn on and off. The above is why I needed to be in a relationship with a slave and not a submissive..

One site I have found to be very helpful over the years. is called Best Slave Training. I truly recommend this to all Dominants. It is not to be used word for word, but to read and understand, and implement your own style of training.

http://bestslavetraining.com/

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Vile

My World My Slave

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, anal sex, and Respect, bdsm, BDSM Safety, blow job, Bond, Bondage, Bound, Chained to the floor, Collars, control, Conversation, Discipline, Dominants, emotional, Friends, Friendship, Health, Hot, life, Master, Open Minded, oral, oral sex, Patience, pleasure, Protocol, Protocol public, Respect, Rules, sadist, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, serve, sex, slave, Spanking, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, TPE, Trust, Verbal abuse on December 26, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I was single for well over a year, during and prior I made a couple of mistakes and bad choices in partners, and there are those I wish I had never met, and those who are total nightmares.

When we do not take the time to think clearly, our heads get fucked up, it is almost like a cloud settles over our brain, and it causes us to have bad judgement. Sometimes we settle for less just so we have the companionship, even though we know deep down it is not going to work. Then at times we put to much effort into a relationship when we know the same thing, it is not going to work.

While in a relationship some may think my way is a one way street, I suppose if you looked at it from the outside I could see where one might think that. One might get the impression I am selfish, I can also see that. The truth is you have to really get to know me. I told Tish the same thing. You have to watch, listen and observe, because I am not going to tell you everything, if your truly interested you should want to do so. So far things are going perfect.

I run the house no questions asked. I make all the decisions no questions asked. What I did make clear however , because we are all not perfect. If she was to see an easier way, or maybe I am about to make a mistake, I want to hear her point of view, and I would listen. I have made mistakes in the past and I have paid the price. If I am at anytime wrong, I will be the first to admit it.

I was looking for a slave, not a submissive, a real slave who was true or wanted to learn about the lifestyle , and my way, and only my way. I am not going to change. I tried once before when I got married, the worst mistake I had ever made, but I was a man and stepped up to the plate. I was not out fucking behind any ones back. Ive gone over this before no one really seems to give a fuck so I am going to drop it.

I am Dominant 24/7, I just cannot turn it off like some are able to. I wanted a slave who was a slave 24/7, not just in the bedroom. That is like finding a Buddhist monk , that lives in an Amish town, yea next to impossible.

I found one, or she found me to tell you the truth. She is beautiful, stable, a little emotional at times, but aren’t all women at times, fuck even some men are. She has a good career, has been employed at the same place now for 13 years. Did I mention she is beautiful, and hot, with a body built for sin. Yea.

Tish craves submission , she craves accountability , she craves structure, she craves guidance. Tish needs all of the above. She needs rules, which were structured toward her needs and not mine. Tish craves consistency, Tish craves communication, Tish craves attention, she wants to be held at night, during the day, she wants to know she is number one, and the only one. I cannot understand a Dominant or top who has to have more than one at his feet. All my needs and then some are being met, without question or hesitation.

When I say slave, I am not looking for a house keeper, a cook, or someone do do my laundry. I did all of that before I met her.

Like me Tish is big on protocol, Protocol is part of her submission, again she not only craves she needs, this falls under acceptance.

She truly enjoys being spanked, Everyone knows I love bare handed spankings, back to my ass fetish. She loves bondage, which I love, she loves control. At night she has the need to be bound, being bound makes her feel safe. So we went to Home depot, I purchased a 5ft chain and two pad locks. One end goes around her neck, and locked, the other around the bed frame. This makes her feel safe, secure, but most of all owned. At night she sleeps like a baby, and she knows should she have to go to the bathroom she can wake me.

If and when company arrives she greets them, offers them a seat, at this point and time, Tish goes into a service mode, she offers drinks or what ever the guest may need. If I tell her to sit she does if not she stands behind me. Although I am big on protocol, she needs this, she has the need to please.

Our daily routine, we wake. I make Tish a cup of coffee and we sit and talk, until it is time for her to go to work at which time I make her a cup to go. Through out the day I receive text from her, I want to know how she is doing. Breakfast she tells me what the choices are and I choose what she is to eat, lunch the same thing, she will text me the options and again I choose. I cook a lot so I do most of the cooking, I enjoy cooking. I fix her plate then mine, we sit at the table. She is not to begin eating until after I have taking the first bite. At that time she may begin, this is public or private. After dinner, this is our talk time. She is allowed to say anything that might be on her mind. I want to know in more detail about how her day way. I want to know what is on her mind, any concerns she may have. Our talks usually last about a half hour. Then depending on how she is feeling its play time.

The above is an everyday ritual , all of the above that I have mentioned is what Tish told me she needed. I am consistent in our daily activities , there are no exceptions.

When out to eat I order her food and drink which is water most of the time, again she does not begin to eat until after I have taking the first bite. She does call me Master public or private. She is not a bedroom slave. I choose the clothes she is going to wear, I will pick the pants or skirt and I let her show me the different tops and I choose.

Safe word, many are going to get upset about this. I do not use a safe word. Why?  I started out in the lifestyle as a sadist, I was a sadist for about 12 years or so, then I slowly began to calm down, my needs changed. My wants changed as well. After Bea and I went our separate ways. I could clearly see the mistakes I had made, and it was or is my full intentions on not making them again. Now the safe word thing.  If you really care, you can tell by her eyes when she has had enough, her body movements, or even verbal. If she had asked about a safe word I would of allowed. She will tell you I have never hurt or caused any pain.

What do I get out of all of this? What are my rewards? Well pretty much anything I want or need, although sex is not the main part of a relationship, it is there for my taking, at times it is about me, but most of the time I make sure Tish is pleased. Her needs are met. I have an awesome friend, someone I can talk to, an open line of communication. Someone who likes to go out . She loves to give head, she loves anal, and at times I love the female on top, most subs or slaves do not like that, but she rides it is just wow, and she is able to cum in that position.

The structured rules I put in place, at some point and time I will add more as I see fit. It is important not to try and overwhelm someone with a bunch of since less rules, that does not benefit the slave in anyway . To many since less rules can set one up for failure, more so if they are just sexual based.

Tish has learned a great deal in a short time, she has or is learning it is okay to say NO. She is learning it is okay that not everyone likes her. She has learned it is okay that she does not have to gain acceptance from everyone around her. She has learned that while not with me, it is okay to put her foot down, and stand her ground. She has learned that when she feels there is to much on her plate, I can take some of that away, and let her know there are options.

This ladies and gentlemen is what the lifestyle is about. As much as I would like for it to be a one way street, it is not.  There is no arguing, none, the main reason being we know where we both stand. There is no verbal abuse, no physical abuse, no mental abuse.

The relationship is not about us Dominants it is solely about the sub or slave. They gives us their needs and we implement a structured plan, to insure they are getting everything they need out of the relationship. The relationship is clearly not all about me. The relationship is about Tish and only Tish. I insure her needs are met at all times. I highly believe in aftercare, proper aftercare can and will prevent sub-drop.

I am very structured as well. I have zero drama in my life, and I will not allow or stand for it. I have recently let a few friends go just because of their drama. I have zero anger issues. I take care of problems before they become problems.

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Vile

A New Slave Has Come To Light

Posted in 128 Basic rules, abuse, Baggage, bdsm, BDSM Hypnosis, controlling, Discipline, Drama, Fake Dominants, Health, life, molding your slave, Protocol, Rules, slave, submissive on December 4, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I told everyone not long ago I was seeing someone. The relationship is really starting to take off. Things are going well. She comes with no Drama, really no baggage , very smart, a nice career , takes good care of herself, very beautiful, inside and out, and incredible to be around.

It is really hard to find someone you are compatible with in the lifestyle. Some will bend or even give up some of the things they cherish when it comes to needs. We all know this does not work.We have to be who we are, and be with someone who excepts us for who we are.

I will be the first to admit I am not the easiest man or Dominant to live with. It is not that I set up for failure, that is far from the case. I want a slave to excel , I want her to be all she can be. I want to support her in anything she wants to do.

There are many slaves more so those new to the lifestyle who are led down a road of destruction, those who are just used and abused,and when they are no longer useful, they are tossed out like a bag of garbage. Waiting to be used by the next, because the slave knows no better.

I can imagine it must be pretty confusing to a slave who cannot find normal ground to stand on, and thinking there has to be more to what I need.

I am very positive this will work. I have looked for over a year, for the right one. The one I click with. The one I can have conversation with, the one who enjoys having the right to open communication. A slave who was able o sit down, and express her needs.

I have told everyone I am old school, a lot of younger Dominants do not agree with me on a lot of things. Times change, people change. I am not a man of change. I refuse to be someone I am not.

Many subs or slaves that follow me here, most think I am out of touch. I was chatting with Gemini the other day, and just from reading my blog she had me pegged, on who I was and what I needed in a relationship.

When a slave enters a relationship she is looking for certain things to make her complete. Number one is structure. Two someone who is honest. Three someone who truly cares for them. Four. someone who is not abusive, be it physical , mental, or verbal. Five Consistency, stay one track be who and what we say we are.   A slave or submissive never really ask for a lot. So we as Dominants should be able to step up to the plate.

I remember first entering the lifestyle, young and dumb. Full of ego. When I spoke to a slave she asked what rules would be in place, not knowing any better, I would copy and past the basic 128 rules. Those who had been in the lifestyle anytime , they knew I did not have a clue. Those rules have been a joke for years.

Well it seems today their are those Dominants out there that are still using these rules. Tish’s last Dom used them, who had been in the lifestyle for 20 years. Married to his slave of course. Took away a few and added a few of his.

How in the fuck is a slave suppose to remember 128 rules, and not break one. In my opinion rules are meant to be about positive reinforcement, to help, to guide, not to set up for failure.

Then the almighty Hypno Dom, I posted about yesterday. He preys on new subs and slaves because they do not know any better.  This is not the slaves fault, it happens.

So the slave continues to seek out the one who meets her needs. It may take a few mistakes before making that connection. The end result is truly life changing, when you find the right one.

 

Vile