Ive spoke about how the submissive and slave should have a plan going into a relationship. How they should know what they want, and the questions to ask.
A Dominant should have a clear plan when it comes to training. The Dominant should know what he wants out of the relationship. I had a picture in my mind, a very clear picture of how I saw myself living everyday with a slave. I could picture the slave I wanted to live with. The hair the eyes, the body type.
I had the mold set in my mind. I already had my rules that I intended to implement , I had my protocols. I could see the structure within the home. I had a very clear picture of my everyday life and I was not going to settle for less. Now rules do differ from submissive to submissive and slave to slave, but you should have a general idea.
Pussy is pussy, a blowjob is a blowjob, it is the connection that makes the difference, it is the feelings you have that makes the difference.
When entering the relationship ship you have to go in with each knowing their place. Dominant Submissive, Master and Slave. You have to keep that frame of mind. If you the Dominant you start to let your true feelings out, you can and will lose control. I am not saying you do not care about or love, but you entered the relationship with an understanding. I have said it before once you start to lose control you can never regain what you had. This is because the submissive has seen the soft side of you.
Now to all the Fifty Shade Dominants , this is the one who jumps from submissive to submissive. They want the sex but when you add a little responsibility to the picture the relationship is short lived. You read a book, look at some pictures and your ready to collar a submissive.
The Collar is a powerful object when placed around your neck. You are now different, you feel different, you want to be different. This is when you the submissive or slave, this is your weakest time, your really not thinking to clear, meaning your letting your guard down. Now almost anything is fair game.
There is a lot of good information out there, and there is a lot of bad information out there. Most of what you read in common sense, but if there is not something you understand then ask, I would say ask more than one 3,4,5 and look at all the answers. Chances are one or two will be the same, it is then up to you to decide what your going to do.
I made a comment not long ago before I was introduced to Mike Makai Who is a Author , I made the statement that there was no book that gave us guidance when it comes to BDSM and I was sent the name of a book Written by Mike Makai it is called
Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook.
Then Mikes Facebook page is.
Mike also has a radio station on Blogtalk radio once a week.
You can also listen to older shows on YouTube.
I have read his book now and as with anything I agree with a lot of it then there is some I disagree with. I am sure there are many things Mike does not agree with me on, but you know what it is all good. I have never claimed I know everything, but I do know what works for me. The BDSM lifestyle was not something I learned over night, I did not learn from a book, I learned from experiencing and I also had a mentor. To this day some twenty plus years there is still someone I confide in.
It is not often two Dominants will agree on anything. I know when Arianna and I attend different functions such as MasT meetings or munchs, when we walk in together I can smell the ego’s Wow the strongest smell in the world.
Arianna posted something a couple of days ago, about her training . She wrote about her experiences while in training. She also wrote how it helped her.
This title has actually been in my drafts on WordPress since Christmas. I had a few minutes so I’d thought I’d try and see what kind of blog formed out of it.
“I am my Master’s Slave. “
That is so true if you think about it. If you were anything like me when I met Master Vile I was a bit of a blubbering mess. Spewing every aspect of my crazy life to Him in the hopes that He would accept me, faults and all. To my amazement, He listened to my inner workings, thoughts and fears. His response to me was pretty much that I needed to be wiped clean. I needed to forget what I had learned up to that point and allow Him to mold me into something more.
You can continue reading from her post it goes into more detail, but you will see how my training helped her.
I was speaking to a Dom not long ago, I do not usually use names but his name is Mark , and he had used one Submissive until she was drained, and went through several others, until he was able to leach onto her. He told me he was going to train her, I said cool man what type of training. Mark said the usual stuff, I said yea I use the usual stuff too. So I said what are some of the things you are going to incorporate and again the usual stuff. So in reality he did not have a clue. Mark really has no concept of the lifestyle. He also made it clear when meeting a new submissive she was going to fuck on their first meeting or she was not submissive, yea Arianna heard this as well.
So as Arianna explained on her blog she was indeed a complete mess, but not as bad as she thought but she was clearly headed down a dirt road of destruction.
So I began to take things away, more so freedom, I have spoken about this before. I implemented new habits. I limited her space within the home. Where she could sit, where she could stand, how she spoke to people, I implemented protocols . To change bad habits and make new habits you have to stay consistent on a daily basis. Once everything is in place, you cannot change anything up or at least I do not. My rules were not sexual. Rules are meant to change habits, in my eyes anyway. I brought structure into the home, we had no Drama, we had zero problems and to this day it remains the same. Once you complete your what I call bubble, it is very important to make sure nothing penetrates it disrupting what you have worked so hard on building.
You will find what works for you, when I first met Arianna I spent about a week putting a plan together, something I thought would work and it did. I started training and she did not have aclue
I do know if you enter the relationship and it is based on sex alone it will not work for very long. If you are with someone who sees your submission as a weakness and he is not looking out for your well being , your clearly not going to get anything out of the relationship, except problems, and the drama..
Now the question is am I right? Maybe not in every ones eyes. Does everybody agree with me probably not ? What I do know what I do works for me it works for us. I do dedicate a lot of time to insure everything runs as it should.
Ive always said have a plan and stick to it, if you remain true to who you are, things will work out. I know doing things my way has worked in the past, and what has failed was on my part, and I have no one to blame except for me. Yes I do take the blame for past relationships not working, but I learned from my mistakes, and Ive grown over the years, maybe my hair turning white so early has made me wiser.