In the past few years I have seen the poly community really grow, most who are poly belong to rather large families. Some are Dominant , some are submissive and some are just kink based. My philosophy is if it works for you then it works, if it is working that means you are in a good place.
Then when it comes to a Dominant or Master there is a huge difference but again it is what works for you. How Dominant are you ? How submissive are you? How kinky are you ? In most cases it boils down to being with family, someplace that is secure and safe.
So we look at the whole picture , how can a submissive serve more than one Dominant ? My thoughts are each Dominant has their own rules , structure , and protocols. My other question is if the two do not live together how does one maintain control ? In my eyes and this is just my thoughts if I cannot reach out and touch I cannot control. Being in control is not a want it is a need , being in control of my life and surroundings is a need even at work.
A Master and poly is something you do not see very often. The poly slave is not something you see very often. I myself am very protective , what is mine is mine you can look but you cannot touch. Most Slaves are very possessive , most slaves have one focus and that is serving the one they are owned by.
I have known Masters in the past who would pass their property around like a bag of pop corn and think nothing of it. As I sat back and watch I am thinking how can he truly love her? Maybe it is power or ego , humiliation ?
I believe and this is only me if I cannot reach out and touch someone on a daily basis training cannot be effective.
Training a submissive or slave long distance will almost fail 99% of the time. The Master has no real idea if certain task are being done or what the slave is really thinking. No phone call can replace a facial expression or that look coming from their eyes. Training is changing ones way of thinking and in order to do so the Master has to be consistent on a hourly basis , daily and weekly.
How can a slave possibly serve more than one Master with each having different ideas , structure , protocols and rules.
When I think of Poly and family’s not living together I think of kink and nothing more again this is just my thoughts and I do not judge those who live the lifestyle.
I myself thrive off of the control , the control is a need but it is not to the point og controlling.
While many use fear to dominate , many use humiliation, many use a form of degrading making one feel worthless , that is a form of forced submission and the Master has gained absolutely nothing , most of all he has not gained respect.
We as Masters when we take on a relationship we now have two we have to think about and sometimes three.
I live in a closed Triad meaning we are a closed family and we never step out to see others. Finding the right one was no easy task and it took over a year to find the right fit. That is a different blog.
If the poly family is happy with their situation then so be it we are no one to judge.
Dominants are more likely to share their partner than a Master will , most Master are very possessive when it comes to their property.
To be in full control you need to be face to face very few LDR relationships work long term. If you have no plans on either one making that move you are just wasting your time.
Training is never really over , there is daily maintenance , communication , and keeping everything in check. I have said this a hundred times the Master has to be consistent and consistent on a daily basis.
My experience most Poly Doms are actually Tops, Dominant in the bedroom and once out just vanilla in a lot of ways, this does not apply to everyone but from my experience this seems to be true..
I like to be in control and full control of my home and surroundings , I want to know what is going on, because I can only make the right decision based on the information giving to me.
You may be happy living in a poly relationship however most do not live together, in fact looking on Fetlife …
We all have to be who we are to be happy in life , we all have to be who we are so we may move forward in life.
BDSM is the only lifestyle where everyone is wrong no one is right. People are quick to judge but their life is falling apart , or kinda like going to church and when you leave everyone is talking about everyone else..
However I would think there would come a time when a submissive or a Dom would like to settle down..