This can be very difficult but if the communication is right and both parties are open minded enough it could work. There are more than a few ways the idea could come into play, some are good while some are not so good.
The male will take one of three stances, yes , no , or maybe. This is it being brought up to him. Much of the time a male needs time to roll ideas through his mind. The main thought is what do I get out of this if I have to put any effort into it. I have to get something or its just not worth my time.
The female however will take two stances on the subject it will either be yes or no, there is no maybe. Just as I brought up the idea and the need I had to my ex-wife, but I got the your fucking perverted . It took you seven years to come to that conclusion congratulations you stupid bitch. So yes it does pay to be honest at all times even if you do not get the out come you had hoped for..
Most men who say NO or let me think about it truly have this guilty feeling, because no matter how you explain it, it is still drilled in their mind that it is abuse. Somehow being tied up , spanked, told what to do, or face fucking is abuse.
How ever those who stray have no problem bending some bitch over and dry fucking her ass until she passes out. Why ? I suppose there is no real connection between the two, there is no love between the two. The male does not feel ashamed doing what he is doing because it is now expected. With his wife he was exploring uncharted territory or he knows she is against any type of kink
If your a woman who is married and you have been asked to suck cock, or do anal and you refuse he will find someone who will do those things for him. He may not leave you and the chances of him leaving is very slim. The main reason is he has already built his kingdom, he feels secure, he feels safe, and he knows you are not going anyplace. He will how ever step out on you, and find someone who will fulfill his needs.
While you can get pissed off, while you can scream and yell because how dare he let some other women suck his cock. Think about how you refused to. The worst thing you can tell a male is NO, because when say say that one word it now becomes a need, and vengeance will be his.
I believe sex falls under wifely duties, short of being abuse you are meant to please, now that does not mean you do not get anything in return because any relationship was meant to be a two way street. You as the wife are suppose to lay on your back, get on your knees, or on your hands and knees bent over spreading your ass. Everyone is not going to think the way I do and that is fine, I am expressing my own opinion. The husband has duties as well, and I have covered much of that in my 800 and something post. I have covered the abusive male, so do not think for one minute I am about abuse because I am not.
The key to a successful relationship is finding someone you are compatible with, you like the same music, food, going out, walking the beach at night, and then yes this also includes sex.
While I was searching for a partner I dated probably a 100 who thought they were slaves, and I refused to settle for less, if you told me you did not suck cock, the conversation was over, if you told me you did not do anal the conversation was over, which means I just blew 30 bucks for dinner, and I was going to go home and jack off. If you settle for less you will never be happy, you are only happy for that moment and time.
The man brings up BDSM to the wife and she may go along with it just to please, but most of the time the male gets a little rough because why? We are visual he has googled BDSM clicked on images and what do you see? Some bitch getting her ass beat. So he truly has no clue, or he has read some stories on erotica.com. The woman if she is in love enough or she thinks it will improve their already soggy relationship she will go along with it for a while, only to find out things are still soggy.
Now the female brings it up, now we are in a whole different ball game, the rules have changed, because what she is thinking is nothing the way the male see’s how things might turn out.
The woman has thought things out for the most. The woman can see herself living as a slave 24/7. She can see in her mind how it would be her living as a slave. The truth is she thinks about it for a long time before bringing the subject up, for a couple of reasons. One she is ashamed of her now kinky thoughts, second she is afraid of rejection, or third she is afraid you the husband will leave because she is not the woman you married..
Now while you the husband knows nothing of this, while your at work and she is at home having full blown fantasies, your working and she is at home pounding her pussy with something , and she is probably masturbating 3 or 4 times a day. Even while your fucking her she is thinking about kinky things and you do not have a clue.
To the male most of the time it is about kink, giving out orders, bondage, subjecting your wife to pain she does not want.
To the female it is much different, the submission is a need, to be a total slave is a need, because she has already thought it out. The fact is once she has already put all of her thoughts into motion you the male only has a small role to play in your new relationship, and it really takes very little of your time. She the slave is going to do most of the work all you have to do is keep things consistent.
Really the only thing you the husband has to do is except her for who and what she is. Let her ask for permission, write down a few chores. Come up with a few realistic rules, rules that you know will not be broken. The last thing a slave wants to do is break any rules, if they do it is truly a mistake.
She the wife is looking to be excepted, she wants to be able to be who is is and needs to be. When it comes to women this is not something that just happened on the contrary this has been brewing for a very long time. There was something at a young age that had a mental impact on her, something happened that more than likely she has not even shared with you. She could of been raped, maybe molested by a family member, or even abused at home, but something happened when she was younger to trigger her thoughts. I am not saying that is accurate 100% of the time but I will say 95% maybe a little higher. Most suffer from some type of depression, some are bi-polar, some suffer from anxiety , and most are on some type of medication.
That is what these men who prey on women do not realize or if they do they do not care. These women are looking for help, they are looking for someone to except them, they are looking for security. They expect the kink, why ? Because we are visual animals and nothing more, now some do enjoy the kink, some need the kink. These men prey on those who are submissive because they see it as a weakness, they see an easy fuck, or when they are talking to you the only thing on their mind is you sucking their cock.
I preach over and over when your first meeting a new Dom keep your legs close and your mouth shut, find out if he is really interested in you, or if he just wants the pussy.
Let your wife be who she needs to be, the only thing that will happen for you the male is your life will get a whole lot better. You as the husband will want for nothing, your every need will be answered without question. There will be total submission, and this submission will only benefit you, and remember your role is very small, it is not going to add to your day.
Think about it, you have what most men only ready about, you have what most men talk about when out with the boys.
You have someone you can dress how you want, eat what you tell them to eat, they feel good because you have giving them task. You get your cock sucked when and how you want, she will lay on her back at the snap of a finger, and will proudly lube your cock for her ass. She will be loyal to you and only you, you are not replaceable the main reason is she has gone through to much to get your relationship where it is at today. If she strayed she would have to start all over.
The collar this is a biggie. The collar is a sign of ownership. She now has a purpose, she now belongs, she is now who she truly needs to be not wants to be who she needs to be.
That is what we do as husbands we meet ours needs. Your wife, your slave we still need to provide their needs, we have an obligation to meet their needs, we have an obligation to make them feel wanted, and we have an obligation to reward when the time is right.
The wife or slave has done everything to insure the home is ran smoothly, she takes care of you without question. To make her feel complete is something we should have a need to do. The collar will bring out someone very special, and your relationship will blossom it grow 100 times over and end the end it will only benefit you.
Long ago I only use to see married slaves or more so those who were submissive. These were women who were not able to express their needs to their husbands, or their husbands thought they were sick.
I had hours and hours of sessions, which mainly included bondage some lite spanking never any bruises, and a lot of humiliation. I how ever never fucked anyone of them, there was never any penetration vaginal or anal. I did leave cock sucking out. I did get my cock sucked. If I was going to spend a couple of hours of my time pleasing you because hubby would not, you were going to suck my cock. I did that for a year or so, because I was not looking for any type of commitment. She got a motel most of the time, she paid for it, took us out to dinner, and I got to play with her, and I got to watch my cock slide down her throat.
I suppose it goes the same way, if the submissive or slave is not getting what they need they will seek out those who will give. This is not every case though. Many just sit at home and suffer with their thoughts to afraid to bring the topic up.
Let your wife be who she needs to be, it will cost you very little time. Let her be the slave she needs to be, let her be humble and thankful laying at your feet. While she reaches up and touches her collar, knowing that she is loved, cared for and owned.