Archive for the masochist Category

Defining Your Submission

Posted in 24/7, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Slave, Submission, sucking cock on February 13, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

I did a blog a couple of years ago on the Seven Most Common Types of Submissive’s Each has their own inner feelings about who and what they are. When you break down you’re personality you then have to find a Dominant with the same interest. Just because a Dominant is a Dominant it does not mean he is the Dominant for you.  Then you move into some different areas are you just a submissive in the bedroom ? Are you a submissive when the Dom is ready to play ? Are you a submissive just at home ?

A huge mistake that is made often is when you first meet a Dominant , you are talking you tell him you are one thing , but he states something different. You are not a baby girl you are a slave. Now why does he say this ? He is looking for a slave and not a baby girl. So he will try and twist you’re thoughts and he has a come back every time you state you’re case. After sometime you will agree and give in.

You have spent much time defining who and what you are and this guy has known you for a few hours.

When searching I had a plan , I knew exactly what I was looking for, I knew the personality I was looking for. I was single for about two years and I had dated several but after the first date I would just say hey this is not going to work. You cannot force someone to change and you cannot change someone who has different needs.

You have kept you’re feeling from your friends and family this is something you have thought about for a long time, you did research , you did research on you’re personality, because you wanted to fit in. To find the right fit is to be free, free to be who and what you are not to let someone change you. If you need to be changed by someone then the Dominant is really looking for something else. If you change to please someone you will never be happy.

Breaking down the Dominants , there are less Dominant personality’s than submissive or slave personality’s

The Sadist , there are very few sadist who are actually Dominant , sadist gets off on inflicting pain. Once he has finished a scene he is pretty much done so do not expect any type of aftercare.

The daddy Dominant looking for his little girl , Daddy Doms are more laid back, not really into a lot of rules or structure and more Dominant in the bedroom. This is not true to all daddy Doms I have met a few who are very strict. Daddy Doms proved more of a safe zone feeling usually more affectionate .

The bedroom Dominant is someone who is only Dominant while in play this also goes along side of the Top. Once he walks outside of the bedroom he is done so if you expect any type of aftercare then you should speak up before play…

Then the get it done Dominant , no rules , no structure just get it done. This seems to fit many types of those who are submissive or Dominant. Here is something I need you to do just get it done. I know a couple who are local who fit this description and it has worked for 8 years.

The over controlling Dominant , this is the little insecure guy. He has to know where you are at all times . He wants to know why it took you 23 minutes to get home from work instead of 20 minutes and he will ream you’re ass over 3 minutes . He wants all of you’re passwords and in most cases if you are dumb enough he will take you’re banking information.

The Master and there are many other types of Dominants but you can google that . There are a few different types of Masters the main one is the title Master, he believes this is a entitlement for what ever reason he has earned this status. The title master demands respect , he demands you call him master not sir but master, remember this is an entitlement. His logic of thinking is to take and take and give nothing in return , giving you rules that are not checked and making changes to those rules when he finds it necessary. The entitlement master continues looking for ways to punish you mainly he gets off on abuse but to him it is legal abuse.

Looking at profiles on Fetlife and I see Master ,daddy , Dominant , I am asking myself how in the fuck does that even work ?   I am Master , Daddy , Dominant and owner of Baby Girl so and so.

I am not about titles I am however about respect but respect I have earned. If you demand respect it is not true respect it is fake and nothing more. You cannot demand submission but you can gain submission through intimidation again this is fake because submission is out of fear and nothing more.

To earned submission or respect you have to earn trust , trust is a very hard word because it is the easiest to lose , yup one slip up and the relationship has crashed. This is the point of no return and the Dominant goes into the begging part , stating he can fix it he will never do it again. The problem is the submissive has already seen that side , those thoughts are implanted deep with her mind.

Maintaining trust maintaining you’re word , staying true to you’re word, staying honest that is huge.

It is an honor for the submissive or slave to let those words pass from her mouth. Yes Master, how may I help you Master?

We as Masters have a huge daily task keeping everything in check , setting time aside to talk , just talk or talk about concerns. Communication is more than 95% of any relationship being able to speak freely. If the submissive or slave really trust you they will come to you about anything knowing you are there to listen and help.

Although we are in charge, although we make all of the decisions there is a fine line we as Masters have to walk. I know and you should as well what it would take for the kingdom to come crumbling down. This is why I preach being consistent  on a daily basis is so important. You cannot be a Dominant 9 to 5 you’re submissive has the right to have access 24/7 remember you signed up for that.

Never let anyone define who and what you are , never let anyone try to change you. If the Dominant tries to change you then you are not the right one for him.

You the submissive it is up to you to define who you are and what you’re needs are to a new Dominant. You do not have to use the word Sir until he as earned the respect you need to have earned. Never take demands from a new Dominant if you have not agreed to enter a relationship.

You spend maybe 25 minutes talking and he blurts out I believe you are a slave and not a Baby Girl , or a Brat what ever. You say hey wait a fucking minute you don’t even know me , how would you know.

Only in the lifestyle does the conversation start out , do you swallow ? Do you like anal sex? Are you Bi? The biggest are you into humiliation ? That question is a true sign of abuse.

Ive been in the lifestyle for 25 years , okay great can I talk to some of you’re friends ? Can I speak with some of the groups you belong to ? This is not only important it is you’re right.

Once you define who and what you are stick with it , let yourself evolve over the years..

When you meet a new Dominant keep you’re mouth closed and legs closed for 30 days.

Also check out my slaves Blog …..

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/

Vile

Are You Consenting Or Are You Just Agreeing ?

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, choices and consequences, communication, Consensual, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , on October 25, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

The words Consent and non-consent has been coming up a lot in the past month or so. Our lifestyle is probably the only Lifestyle where we need to talk about Consent, the do’s and the Dont’s . What can be done what cannot be done and what we are open to, and what is off limits.

When we are talking to someone be it a Dominant or a submissive , one of the topics that seem to come up early on is what are your limits? The limits question was something I stayed away from until I knew we could make it as friends. Because if we had nothing outside of the lifestyle in common why would I want to enter a relationship if the only thing we had was sex. Kink and sex only last so long, and all your doing at that time is filling a missing void.

So the common off limits are, no blood , no children, no scat maybe no golden showers , the list can go on and on. The thing is what ever limit you have you need to stand by it.

Many times when meeting someone we tend to get caught up in the moment , this is the one, he or she has to be the one, they know what they are talking about. That is not always the case. More often you are being told what you want to hear, your being told something that is so far from the truth but you buy into the words and not the knowledge. Once you figure  things out it is to late because your already caught up in the relationship. Once you agree to something it is almost impossible to retract what you said or what you agreed to..

I am not into Humiliation, and the Dom will say we you don’t really know because you have not been trained.  Or I do not do anal sex, well no one has done it right I can make it feel good. Everything is about consent it is about coming to an agreement and hoping to have the chance to enter a long lasting relationship.

If your not into pain , or you don’t like being face fucked speak up, because if you do not , you are just agreeing and your not consenting. This falls under how much freedom your willing to give up, the rules your going to follow. Are you Monogamous ? Are you Poly ? These are all consensual questions.

Poly is a huge thing if you are looking for a one on one relationship, many times these types of relationships you are kept apart and never see each other. I had thought about poly at one time, but reality hit me, why not just find one who fulfills are of my needs rolled up into one. I am not saying Poly is bad its just not for everyone, so if you agree to a poly relationship and your not poly you are just agreeing and not consenting if that makes any sense..

Arianna and I had talked about having a closed Triad with another female, and being Bi was not a criteria. Bringing someone into our home, and when I explained to others it was not for me but would be a sister for Arianna some thought I was crazy, but it was not because I needed more flavor that is far from the case I get anything I want when I want and how I want it without question.

We communicated about the process and what would have to take place, it was 100% consensual. As far as a 3rd it did not work out but it is what it is no biggy..

The Bottom line is if you agreed to something but your not all in 100% then that is on you. Theoretically if I just wanted to bring someone in, I have that right because our relationship is consensual , non-consent  but at the same time I have to worry about Arianna and what the effects would be.

Believe me there is someone for everyone in our world , there is someone who will fit your needs. If you are agreeing in fear of not having a relationship your doomed from the start, it will never last, if you agree just because your in fear of the relationship not working your training will mean nothing just as earning your collar.

As I said in my last post , what do you want to do with your one life ? How much of your time do you want to waste on something that is not going to work? How much pain do you want to endure if your not a Masochist ?

It is not your Dom or your Master who will have to adapt it is you, so there should be a lot of thinking, we all make choices we just have to see if the consequences out weigh the choices.

viledesire62@aol.com

50 shades

 

Vile

 

 

 

Fifty Shades Of Grey. What Christian Grey Lacked

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Anastasia Steele, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Safety, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Christian Grey, commitment, communication, control, controlling, Daddy Dom, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, fifty shades of grey, Manipulation, masochist, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Rape, relationships, Rough Sex, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am far from perfect and I will be the first to admit , I do not know everything. What I share is my past 20 plus years in the lifestyle and as many active in the local community.
I have met thousands in the lifestyle , from Sadist who scared the fuck out of me , to totally wicked Domme’s, submissive’s of all kinds real and fake, slaves with different levels of submission, and then my relationships.

I have been with a Masochist I could not make cry , who fed off of humiliation , I have been a Daddy Dom as well. I have lived a D’s Lifestyle , but for some reason I was never complete.
I have had successful relationships that ended well, and I have had relationships that crashed and burned , due to my actions. I take full responsibility for the relationships not working because I did not think clearly or I used bad judgement. I am not going to put the blame on others when it was I who fucked up.

Most of the time when a D’s or M’s relationship falls apart it is the subs fault. The bitch was not real, she was just playing games. She was not a true submissive, she was not a slave, she could not, would not follow rules.
Now the above could be true , because there are some money grabbing women out there who are looking for a free ride , but it makes me think , how many times can someone lay on their back to get a car payment made, or to be a kept woman. There has to come when it just slaps them in the face. Maybe they think that little of themselves.

I have seen it I have done it , I bit off more than I could chew , and it just turned my whole fucking life upside down, and I would not give up. Well!!!! At least not until I could not stand anymore , maybe I enjoyed self punishment.

I have done this before , entered a relationship for security purposes , yea and you guessed it , that does not work either just for a short time.

A D’s or M’s relationship requires a lot of time. You are investing so much , but lets take a look at another way we are investing time.
Lets say you the Dominant buys a 1969 Carmaro Z28. You bought just the hull of the car . No doors , no hood, no bumpers, no interior , no glass, no nothing , what you have is a hull.
So what are you going to do now? You are going to rebuild it from scratch. You are going to make sure everything is right , your going to make sure everything is complete and not done half ass.

It is the same when you enter a D’s or M’s relationship. You are going to build from the bottom up to meet your needs. You are going to cherish and like me you will stand back and look and think to yourself , man look at what I have done. If your willing to invest all that time , why would you not follow the two main rules in life. Choices and consequences , those two thing will either make you or break you , if you break you will crash and burn.

So you have Anastasia Steele, who just happens to be a virgin , then you have the Sadistic Christian Grey who can only get off on rough sex , which I can relate to. i can also relate on being able to channel anger into positive outlets. Controlling my anger took years to learn how to control , but there are still things that can set it off but that is really very seldom and never towards my property. You will gain so much more out of life if you are in control of not only yourself but your surroundings.

Anastasia a 21 year old naive woman who meets a Dominant who has sadist tendencies. The result Anastasia walks into a world she has never known or perhaps never should of been introduced to that world.

The truth is very few sadist will take on someone who has zero experience in that type of the lifestyle. Second most sadist are not Dominants , it is usually one or the other. You can be a Daddy but not be a dominant. Every Dominant is different , every Dominant has different traits , every Dominant has different needs in their partner.

That is why when a Dominant is single and looking , he is looking for someone specific. The Dominant already has a general idea as far as what he is looking for.

The movie Fifty Shades was based mainly on sex , again nothing wrong with that. What happens is those who have no idea what the lifestyle is about and they see the movie , it gives most the wrong idea about those who are in the lifestyle. Here is the kicker , I have had two women send me a message and ask me if Christian Grey Raped Anastasia. So if there are two I am sure many more are thinking the same way , and under the circumstances I would tend to agree.

So every movie has a behind the scenes , movies have parts that are never seen, the public does not have a clue.

So behind the scenes , being a Dominant is no easy task. A Dominant is on call 24/7 , it is not a 9 to 5 gig.

What Fifty Shades failed to show and yes it is just a movie but if your going to try and mock a lifestyle you need to get somethings right.

It did not show the training that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the communication that goes into building a D’s relationship , it did not show the care , or the emotional side of the submissive , like it did in the movie The Secretary.

There is a line that one can cross when it comes to the lifestyle , the broken line would be abuse, and rape. One in five women in their lifetime will be raped, maybe abuse is just as high. One thing that is very troubling very few are ever reported, and the numbers go even higher if a female is in the lifestyle and meets a new Dominant and is raped.

Behind the scenes , the structure , the rules , the protocols , and yes the punishment.

One thing I do not understand is how so many people could take a movie that is Fiction to heart. Many men will take this fiction movie to heart and the hunt is on.

Fifty Shade Of Grey is Fiction it is not real. If your truly interested in our world do your research , meet and talk with people..

Do you really want to live your life in a Fiction state of mind.

Interview With A Daddy And Baby Girl

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, Acceptance, Baby Girl, bdsm, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, masochist, Rough Sex, SADOMASOCHISM, Submission, submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is just awesome a Daddy and Baby Girl who has been married for 17 years…

So I put a series of questions together and they both answered them. These interviews gives up a different perspective about someones life. It gives us a deeper look, into someones home…..

 

1. You stated that you now have a Daddy, do the two of you live together ?

***** Yes. I am fortunate that I am married to my Daddy. We have been married 17 years. We have 3 kids. All teenagers.

2. How long have both of you been in the lifestyle?

***** we have been in the lifestyle over a year. However when I happened to stumble across a few things on twitter I realized that my submissive nature and the way I had been living my whole marriage had a name and I wasn’t the only woman who lived this way. Taking care of her husband and such.

3. This is for you Daddy. Have you always been a Daddy Dominant, or was there a time when things were different , meaning did you ever take on a different role? I myself was in an M’s relationship and we moved into a Daddy Baby girl role.

No, I have not always been a Daddy Dom.  I have been a “normal” dom as well as a Master.  I have explored all aspects in finding what I am and what I need to be.

4. This is to your Daddy. I know a lot of Daddy’s who really do not have rules they have their Baby Girl follow. Are there any rules or protocols you enforce on a daily basis ?

Yes, my Baby Girl has both rules and protocols that she must follow on a daily basis.  For example, she must check in with me when she leaves and arrives someplace, keep a daily food log to make sure she is eating healthy, make my coffee, etc.  These help give her daily structure and make her feel safe.

5. Are the two of you active in the local community if not do you have any plans in the future ?

*** we live in a small town and we were not sure what was in the area. We started out in the swingers community over 2 years ago. However we have found a couple of events in the area that we hope to go to next month.

6.  You stated that in the past you had an online Dom. Did you learn anything from that relationship ?

***** Yes, I learned several things from that relationship.

 1. An online relationship does not fulfill everything I need as a submissive.

 2. From this relationship I found my true submissive side as a baby girl. Just being a submissive wasn’t enough. So I found myself doing things for Daddy to fill the holes that I had. Since I wasn’t unable to do them in person for my on line Dom.

3. I learned that what I thought I was looking for I already had living with me. I had feared that daddy would not be able to handle this new baby girl side. We had tried a straight Ds relationship with a contract, that I signed under duress, and it just ended ugly. It did significant damage to our marriage. It has taken us son time to repair and in that process I was allowed to have an on line Dom. However Daddy was in the know about everything that happened with that relationship. I eventually out grew him which on line isn’t hard to do and Daddy was patiently waiting for me.

7 To Daddy, Are you Collared and if so what was the time period for the collaring ? I do know that all Daddy Doms do not believe in a collar.

My Baby Girl is not yet formally collared.  She is currently wearing a training collar until the time that I present her formal collar.  There is no time frame in my head for collaring.  Yes, some Daddy Doms do not believe in collars but I believe a collar is a wonderful symbol of her submission to me.  It also makes her feel safe and gives her a reminder of me all day.  She feels that I’m there and that she is protected.

8. As a Daddy and Baby girl, are you just into the Discipline part of the lifestyle or is there kink involved as well…

**** While while I thrive and feel a very strong need for the discipline. I am a masochistic. I love pain. I find a clam in a good therapy spanking. Canning can and has taken me into the beautiful depths of sub-space. I love to be tied up. A good rough fuck is always great. I am a fan of wax play and the Wartenberg wheel. I enjoy a good scene. Really as long as Daddy is using me for his pleasure I am happy.

This is just awesome Thank you both for taking part, and sharing something so deep. More so showing a Daddy and Baby Girl relationship can work…

Vile

Abuse Starts At A Very Early Age

Posted in Argue, Arianna, bdsm, Manipulation, masochist, Pony Girl, pony play, positive reinforcement, Praise, slave, Submission, submissive with tags , , , on July 23, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have been in the lifestyle for more than twenty years, and I have met thousands of people. Dominants, Masters, Submissive’s, slaves, Pony Girls, puppy’s, Kitty’s , the list goes on and on.

One thing I found in common with many is a lot not all but a lot were abused at an early age. This included physical , Mental , Rape and the most being molested by family members.

Okay so I do not have any hard numbers or facts so call me a bull shitter, or say I don’t know what I am talking about , but any Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any amount of time will also say this is true.

I am not sure why the medical Profession has caught on yet, if I have surely they can find a connection. I believe one problem is those who are seeing doctors are scared of being open, about their lifestyle, in fear the doctor may not understand.

Okay so teen suicide is up by more than 50% compared to the 70’s , but now we have troubled teens taking to the streets with guns.

So a troubled teen lives at home and he is fixing to go on a slaughter, but the parents do not have a clue, really are you serious? They are locked up in their room, with nothing to do.

It is easier to push drugs on kids to make them so they can no longer think. They walk around like zombies. Now the problem is fixed.

The one thing I have not figured out is, troubled male teens growing up seldom make it into the lifestyle as Dominants, or I have never met anyone who had such troubles.
I have however met those who were Dominant and suffered from depression which I have blogged about in the past. This is probably one of the most dangerous Dominants you can enter a relationship with. If a Dominant or any other man for that matter cannot control his own life, how can you expect him to control someone else ?

Bea who I was in a relationship with for seven yrs, she was a cutter at a very young age, and her parents knew it was drugs, and they blamed it on her friends. Her mother would stand in the bathroom with her watching her pee in a cup for a over the counter drug test kit. How fucking embarrassing is that.
All along it was her parents, they were the root of the problem. On the outside of the shell everything looked like a 1950’s home, but behind closed doors, the arguing and the fighting, the screaming, and the lack of attention, the lack of taking part in their child’s life..

Shortly after we moved in together the cutting stopped, each time I would catch her we would talk about what was going through her mind. I never told her should could not do it, I just made it clear it displeased me.

Family’s are not what they were 30 years ago. Today it takes two incomes to support a home, mostly due to greed. The huge houses, and cars, credits cards are a disease a bad cancer.

Americans as a whole are stuck on big, our cars, boats, houses , and there is nothing wrong with that, but we tend to get lost , lost in life.

Several years ago I use to drive a Taxi during season here, and I could pick up a grand a week sometimes more.
One day I dropped off at the Orlando Airport and a guy from Egypt stopped me and asked me where I was going, Daytona Beach man. How much, um for you 200 bucks, normally 150, I get half. So he jumped in.
While driving I asked what his business was, he was here to buy seven 7/11’s
okay go figure.
So I ask why so many people from the Middle East come to the US to buy business’s. He stated he did not want to offend me. I was like dude you cannot offend me.

His answer was, The American people have lost all family values, Morals, and everything is for sale including your wife.
I thought wow that is some deep shit there. So if he thinks this way, imagine how the rest of the world views us. I mean the french hate us, but who really cares about them?
So it cannot be just one man who feels that way, millions I am sure feel the same way.

I was talking to Arianna sometime ago, and I was telling her how people change. I said you know 30 years ago a bad storm hits, and a huge oak tree is knocked down in your back yard. The next morning 20 people would be there helping you clear it out.
Today 20 people would show, but they would want to know how much they are getting paid. It is true.

Instead of blaming our future, we need to take a look at us as a whole. What are we doing different than we did 30, 40 or 50 years ago.

We use to fight in school, today kids are bringing guns. Something is wrong.

This is just my opinion you can take it for what it is worth I do not have a PHD.

cutter

Vile

Lets Do A New Twist. There Are Some Who Want To Know More About Me. Interview

Posted in abuse, bdsm, masochist, Master, Master And Slave, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Submission with tags , , , on July 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I have been blogging for a little over two years.

The Kinky World Of Vile

This is my outlet this is the way I relax.

This is the way I get to share my views, and my opinions. This is where I get to tell my side of the story.

At one time I was a Sadist, it was like I had no feelings at all. I was cold, distant. I had one friend I could turn to and he scared me.

The I woke one morning and it was like something hit me.

Then I remembered the first time I left Sherri’s house. I was scared to death. She was black and blue from the neck down. What the fuck have I done ? What if she calls the cops ? How would I explain all those bruises and marks ?

I do not believe being a sadist is about abuse, as long as it is consensual.
A sadist has the need to inflict pain , and a Masochist has the need to receive pain.

Today I am 100% against any type of abuse. If you are convicted of Domestic Abuse you should lose all of your rights as a American Citizen. Not allowed to Vote, No Health Care, and your Drivers License should have a stamp on it saying what you were convicted of. Male or Female.

So if you have ever wanted to know anything about me now is the time. I have not shared everything on here. There is so much more to me

So if I get 10 questions emailed to me, I will do a blog and I will answer each and everyone. If there is more than 10, I will answer.

viledesires62@aol.com

Much Love

Vile

Check Out My New Short Story. The Breaking Of Sabrina.

Posted in Arianna, bdsm, Breaking a Slave, masochist, Master And Slave, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, slave, Slave Trainer, Submission, sucking cock with tags , , on July 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

This is a very short story, it is the first of three more books.
The second one will continue with Sabrina and a few more girls and it will be much longer.
You will get to see what my thoughts are when it comes to breaking a Slave who is unwilling

Smashwords (for all but Kindle users): https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/457549

Amazon/Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00LRZLRUO

Coming soon to B&N, iBooks, KOBO and other retailers

sabrina

Yes that is My beautiful wife and slave Arianna.

Much Love

Vile