The words Consent and non-consent has been coming up a lot in the past month or so. Our lifestyle is probably the only Lifestyle where we need to talk about Consent, the do’s and the Dont’s . What can be done what cannot be done and what we are open to, and what is off limits.
When we are talking to someone be it a Dominant or a submissive , one of the topics that seem to come up early on is what are your limits? The limits question was something I stayed away from until I knew we could make it as friends. Because if we had nothing outside of the lifestyle in common why would I want to enter a relationship if the only thing we had was sex. Kink and sex only last so long, and all your doing at that time is filling a missing void.
So the common off limits are, no blood , no children, no scat maybe no golden showers , the list can go on and on. The thing is what ever limit you have you need to stand by it.
Many times when meeting someone we tend to get caught up in the moment , this is the one, he or she has to be the one, they know what they are talking about. That is not always the case. More often you are being told what you want to hear, your being told something that is so far from the truth but you buy into the words and not the knowledge. Once you figure things out it is to late because your already caught up in the relationship. Once you agree to something it is almost impossible to retract what you said or what you agreed to..
I am not into Humiliation, and the Dom will say we you don’t really know because you have not been trained. Or I do not do anal sex, well no one has done it right I can make it feel good. Everything is about consent it is about coming to an agreement and hoping to have the chance to enter a long lasting relationship.
If your not into pain , or you don’t like being face fucked speak up, because if you do not , you are just agreeing and your not consenting. This falls under how much freedom your willing to give up, the rules your going to follow. Are you Monogamous ? Are you Poly ? These are all consensual questions.
Poly is a huge thing if you are looking for a one on one relationship, many times these types of relationships you are kept apart and never see each other. I had thought about poly at one time, but reality hit me, why not just find one who fulfills are of my needs rolled up into one. I am not saying Poly is bad its just not for everyone, so if you agree to a poly relationship and your not poly you are just agreeing and not consenting if that makes any sense..
Arianna and I had talked about having a closed Triad with another female, and being Bi was not a criteria. Bringing someone into our home, and when I explained to others it was not for me but would be a sister for Arianna some thought I was crazy, but it was not because I needed more flavor that is far from the case I get anything I want when I want and how I want it without question.
We communicated about the process and what would have to take place, it was 100% consensual. As far as a 3rd it did not work out but it is what it is no biggy..
The Bottom line is if you agreed to something but your not all in 100% then that is on you. Theoretically if I just wanted to bring someone in, I have that right because our relationship is consensual , non-consent but at the same time I have to worry about Arianna and what the effects would be.
Believe me there is someone for everyone in our world , there is someone who will fit your needs. If you are agreeing in fear of not having a relationship your doomed from the start, it will never last, if you agree just because your in fear of the relationship not working your training will mean nothing just as earning your collar.
As I said in my last post , what do you want to do with your one life ? How much of your time do you want to waste on something that is not going to work? How much pain do you want to endure if your not a Masochist ?
It is not your Dom or your Master who will have to adapt it is you, so there should be a lot of thinking, we all make choices we just have to see if the consequences out weigh the choices.