I have been working on this blog for a while. Sorry I have not been around but I will post tomorrow 12/4/16
I have been working on this blog for a while. Sorry I have not been around but I will post tomorrow 12/4/16
submissive – inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others or showing such inclination; “submissive servants”; “a submissive reply”; “replacing troublemakers with more submissive people”
In our crazy and fast moving world the relationships can get kind of crazy at times, but knowing who we are getting crazy with is very important.
Early on I made Contact with Arianna’s ex Master I wanted his thoughts not only about Arianna but his thoughts on what went wrong of course everything was her fault.. As you know there are two sides to every story maybe three at times, but I could tell by the way he was acting he was not being truthful with me..
You have to know the one you are getting involved with be it a Dominant or Submissive.
A couple of months ago a submissive packed up her whole life and moved 1500 miles having only spent time chatting online and on the phone. She contacted no one to find out who or what he was. Come to find out there was a Dr Jekyll and a Mr Hyde and he put her out on the street. I did offer to speak with both together but he refused he just called her a stupid cunt and wanted her gone…
If you notice it is never the Dominant who moves, it is never the Dominant who uproots his life , packs everything up , leaves his job and moves across the country, it is always the Submissive or slave.
I was speaking with a Daddy Dom and he was expressing his frustration with the Vetting process within the community. He stated it was not fair being treated different than other Dominants in the community.
It is a process just as obtaining a new job you have a 90 day probation period,while it is unfortunate at times it does take longer in the lifestyle your either going to adapt or make your exit. The bottom line he is not being treated any different than anyone else/
Then you have first impressions and th9is is with Doms and Subs. The first maybe the second or third even but in time the true colors come out. It is either good or it is bad. Once someone feels comfortable the true colors start to come out this is also true when entering a relationship.
If your meeting a Sadist you want to know he knows what he is doing. If you meet a slave you want to know everything about her or him to include friends, this goes for Dominants as well.
The lifestyle a D’s or M’s relationship more so if your new is Taboo , you want to learn and explore, but knowing who is going to tie you up is also important.
In our lifestyle compatibility is really important , knowing you have more in common than just bondage and fucking. If your relationship is based on sex it will not work.
The most important thing is both should be willing to give 100% and nothing less. This falls under the part time dominant and the part time submissive if either is not full time and the other is it will not work.
If you look at the definition BDSM is runs much deeper than just sucking cock or taking it up the ass. It means much more than just beating your ass , or degrading you.
Know who and what you are, know what you need out of your relationship.. Know what your new partner needs in a relationship, being on the same page is very important but at times many are not even in the same book..
You learn to ask the right questions and if you know what to ask many times you get a blank stare and the conversation takes a different turn.
I have always found it very important for someone to be active in the local community or at least willing to take part in your interest. I myself need that interaction with like minded people , those who somewhat understand me.
Your going to make mistake Dominant and Submissive the key is you learn from your mistake. Your going to be used and used and used until you learn from your mistakes..
Get out in the community take your time and meet people, meet people who will understand you. These will be your real friends , these will be people who understand you , these will be people who are there in a time of need..
Welcome to a whole new world , a world of kink , bondage , Discipline , sex , things you like and things you do not like. Welcome to the world of giving up your control. Welcome to the world of taking orders , following rules , protocols and structure.
There are two types of Dominants and Domme’s , those who care about you and have your best interest in mind , and those who are just looking to use and abuse and could not give a fuck about your feelings or your emotions and well being.
The bad your a object, your a piece of meat you have three holes or two if male with no face and when you speak your voice is not heard. Once you become to needy or start to question your status you are tossed aside like trash.
To the users you are nothing more than a commodity on the stock market and as you grow older your value will drop , your cock will not work as it did and your tits will start to sag as with your ass. You will go from trading at a hundred dollars or more to penny stocks and your playing field will become much smaller, and there will come a time your game will end.
You can only use so much , you can only play on someones emotions so long before your called out.
These men and women see submission as a weakness and nothing more, You are stupid , you are ignorant you have zero brain cells. Once you have grown tired of sucking dick or emptying out your bank account your tossed a side only to start your next search but you did not learn from your last excursion. You will take the same path of destruction and repeat the relationship again and again. You will continue to send your pics , shoot videos and self punishment, and you will repeat these actions over and over and over.
You will complain to your friends , you will blog about your sorrows, you will blog about how bad the Dom was, you will complain about how you were used , but not one time will you accept responsibility for your own actions.
You make a mistake you correct it , if you make the same mistake that is possible but if you continue then you are just as stupid and the one using you. It is no longer the user it is you and only you, your the only one to blame.
The fake Dominant shows up when no one else is available and if you think your the only one sitting on the couch waiting for a text , you need to change your light bulb.
When you do see him or her , you get the pleasure of sucking cock or being used for about an hour then they have to run and you repeat , you sit on your couch watching Jerry Springer , because you can somehow relate.
The good news is once you decide to get on the right path and find someone who truly cares about you, the one thing you will be proficient in is cock sucking.
You will continue to lay on your back , suck dick and get abused until you come to terms that something is wrong. Those who see the fake Domme’s seldom get the pussy if every, it is more bout humiliation and your bank account.
Your not dating little Johnny anymore , someone you would sit in the car and make out for hours with, or go to a movie theater when he would finger you or cop a feel of your tits.
Your life is going to go through some pretty drastic changes and you need to be on your game when you open the door.
You are now going to give up most of your freedom and in some cases all of your freedom for sometime.
Your going to be told what to wear , how to speak and when to speak. How to dress , your hair, your nails everything about you will change and it will change to fit someones needs.
Your no longer going to be begged to suck dick your going to be told. Your no longer going to begged to give up some pussy it will be taken and you will agree.
You have moved from being viewed as a girl friend or partner to property, an object a toy meant to be used.
You have to be able to communicate your needs and your thoughts when entering a relationship. You have to be able to say NO before entering a relationship. If you are feeling intimidated through fear you are not in the right frame of mind to be making any type of lifestyle decisions.
If you do not agree with something be it a sexual act or a rule you need to speak up , because if you do not you may be in for a bad experience and one you could end up getting hurt.
Here is the key though is you are going to give up all of the above, if you are going to agree to all of the above, if you are going to serve one, give up control of your life , you are entitled to get something in return. What you get in return I guess depends on what you want out of life. I guess it also depends on how long your willing to wait on the one or spending your time jumping from one relationship to another making the same mistakes..
So why do we see so many lifestyle relationships crash ? Just as I am guilty I have settled for less, I have giving into my needs just for that moment in time companionship. Putting my kink to the side well some of it. Entering a relationship knowing we were not compatibility , it works for a short time but in the end you crash.
Many of us including me have put sex ahead of everything else, knowing it was not going to work. If your relationship is based on sex alone it will crash and burn with both leaving very hateful , putting the blame on each other.
Most are not willing to wait for the one , because we are selfish we want it now , we want it yesterday. If you the Dominant or submissive operate like this you will have a very lonely life and in some cases abusive.
I get emails all the time of those wanting advice , i email back with my opinion and I never hear back, why? Because it was not what they wanted to hear. They did not want the truth, they wanted to hear everything was going to be alright.
Life is based on two actions and only two. Choices and Consequences
While I may be very outspoken , loud at times , I do have a habit of speaking my mind, in private or public. I am far from politically correct and if I think your bull shitting me I will be the first to call you out.
One obsession I have is speaking with elders , I love their stories of life from the beginning to the present, very wise and most information can be put to very good use. Each story is different , their life is different, some have had a very easy life while others struggled growing up. Some had a good home while other faced abuse on a daily basis.
While in Korea an Elder I met named Kim I would sit for hours and just listen while he spoke in broken English. The stories were very intense. The came the subject of Buddhism which i found very interesting.
Being in the army I could fly most anywhere in the world for about 10.00 dollars and my next stop was Thailand, this was mid 1980 I had just turned 18 and my first taste of the lifestyle.
Although Buddhism is a religion I never looked at it that way , the way I understood it it was a way of life. While at times when I first meet someone I am quick to judge , I try to set aside those feelings and give them a chance but most of the time my gut feeling was right.
I seldom give second chances but there are exceptions at times I am not sure why such as a friend I use to have Daddy M not one but two chances and he proved to be a pig.
I will help others if I see they are doing something to help themselves , if not I decline or I do not even bring it up.
most expect others to just jump in and fix what they have fucked up, remember 90% of our problems are self inflicting , this happens by using bad judgement , and not thinking about the choices and consequences. Trying to cheat the system , trying to get over on someone , be it a friend or even at times family. I believe today family will fuck you faster and more often than someone you call a friend.
I have said this before I am not against religion I am against organized religion. Organized religion is evil, it is money driven, the poor feed the rich.
Live as you would want to be treated by others and give the same respect.
Today i am not a full practicing Buddhist but I walk with much of the beliefs, I do find time from time to time to meditate. I live a good life and I treat others with respect and I expect the same in return. The only down fall is some take my kindness as a weakness and those who walk into me blind are in a pasture they have never walked.
I can care and have great love for you but that switch can be turned off in a split second and never turned back on, this includes family.
I have nor do I allow drama into our life, I stop it before it becomes poison . The same way I handle problems , I handle before they become a problem.
To have a successful and growing relationship both have to be honest and upfront , both have to be truthful and able to communicate their needs.
Compatibility is the most important thing when trying to build a relationship. It is okay to give and take on somethings , but if you give on needs it will never work..
The almighty married Dominant who is cheating on his wife. This is no Dom in any way shape or form. His wife wont suck cock or take it up the ass, and not into pain. This is a kink to them and nothing more. They prey on those who are submissive because they believe you are weak and simple minded. They believe you just want to be used and punished.
Your a piece of ass, only able to experience submission when the Dominant can get away from his wife. He comes to your place or you get a room. You suck dick , get your ass beat and your dropped off. Ill text you later..
I get emails all the time and comments as well one just the other day about seeing a married Dom that turned into a disaster , she was able to see she was just being used.
A close friend of mine was seeing a married Dom, why ? I do not have a clue. He could only go out when he had something to do, other than that he was stuck home with wifey.
So he moved and the relationship ended or so she thought, when he sent her a text she politely turned him down and all of a sudden he had found someone younger and told her to go fuck herself.
A few months later another text. Want to Fuck ? She did not reply and the text continued, so I decided to send him an email on fetlife. He would not answer me , but continued to text her and tell her how weak she was followed by the names again. I sent him a total of 8 emails , shrugs. I even invited him to a local function , but that went unanswered …..
I would think as a submissive or slave while in a relationship you would want the whole pie and not just a slice. I would think you would want to be treated with respect. I would think you would want to be cared for. I would think you would want to be more than a piece of ass. I would think you would want to experience the training process, the experience of earning your collar. Maybe I am wrong ?
My way is not the only way , but i do have a proven formula that I have put together and used and in my relationship it works, and it works well. I trained to fit my needs , I trained to help arianna , I trained so that she could achieve goals, and Ive supported her. Being supportive plays a huge role , just as communication.
As always i got off track a little, but if you follow you know this already. I love sharing my life , I love sharing my growth when it comes to the lifestyle…
Discipline is something I do not look forward to nor do I set back and hope a rule will be broken. That takes way to much time and causes one to walk on egg shells….
My observation in the lifestyle most Discipline or punishment is in a physical form and consist of pain and leaving black and blue marks , how ever I believe something that is looked over when others speak of being punished is aftercare.
Being punished the different forms , the main of course which is most commonly used is physical, which I have used in the past , but my way of thinking if a rule or protocol is broken 99% of the time it was a mistake. So I sit down and talk so I can find out what happened. Did something come up , or was it forgotten? The next question is what can be done to prevent it from happening again , what steps are going to be taking to make sure it does not happen again?
Some different ways besides physical , would be verbal , talking and seeing what happened. taking something away , taking a privilege away , confinement, you get the idea. Beating someone is not always the answer although if you read enough blogs or talk with others this seems to be the trend today.
If a submissive or slave is breaking rules on a daily basis there is a problem, a lack of attention or maybe the training.
I met a Baby girl at a local function I know the Dom well, and while outside I could hear the displeasure in her voice. She had just moved from Main down to Florida and the end result was not good he ended up putting her out on the street.
A friend of mine sent me a text and asked me to call him so we could figure out what happened and what we could do. We did find her a place to stay but she had already made arrangements to fly home with the help of her parents.
Why was it her fault ? Number one she did not do her homework , she did not Vet him prior to moving down meaning she did not contact anyone to see if he was who he said he was, as it turned out he was not.. She took his word on everything , only to sell everything she owned moved and found out soon afterward everything was a lie.
I tried to reach out to him after she contacted me and asked why he was kicking her out? He just stated she was not for him, and when I asked if he was just going to put her out his answer was yes.
The texting was going good until I asked him what steps he had taken in training her , and the conversation went dead. This just proved he had no clue, nor did he care about putting the work into the relationship to make it work.
I think when it comes to our lifestyle Discipline in someways are over played , many see discipline as a daily ritual , see it as needed in order to be in a relationship.
Just a few and the first and most popular is the physical part the spanking, the beating, the leaving bruises as a reminder a show of Authority showing who is in charge.
Self punishment which I always found funny, that is something I never took part in and I find it to be Ego driven and someone who is full of their own shit.
Taking a privilege away something the submissive or slave enjoys, be it TV , a girls night out, their ipad something one cherishes. Free time giving during the day , down time, I have found this to be very effective.
Then talking , communication sitting down one on one and find out what happened , why was a rule broken ? There are times when it cant be helped, and at times things need to be looked over.
As Dominants you spend so much of your time building an awesome relationship why would one take the time to beat someone so precious, someone who is suppose to mean the world to you.
Those who do not have a clue spend much of their time talking down to the sub or slave, degrading and humiliating. This is to keep someone at a very low self esteem, and unless they are able to communicate with others, they do not know any better..