A Dominant gets that feeling when he first meets a slave or submissive.
The entire time while in deep conversation we sit there in deep thought, it is almost like being in another world, a world of our own.
I sit and listen, while I am talking to myself, my mind in soaking everything in. The words, the facial expression’s, hand movements , posture, hair, makeup, jewelry , the way she is dressed. Yes even down to the hands and nails. The way she drinks, the way she picks up her silverware , the way she eats, the way she drinks, I am taking in all of this information, yes even the way she ask and answers questions.
When I met Arianna I knew within the first 10 minutes if it would be possible to build something, I knew a relationship was highly likely.
Yes while it is true the first thing I noticed was her beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She carried herself very well. Nicely dressed, very feminine, her hair was almost perfect, and just enough makeup. Her hands are small, her nails were done. That is one of the first things I look at when it comes to a female. Nails hands and feet, and no I do not have a foot fetish. It is a sign of how good they take care of themselves, and how much they care.
Remember I am looking for a relationship, not a fuck buddy, or a piece of ass on the side. I was not looking for someone to suck my cock when I was lonely.
Every question had a purpose, every answer had a purpose. If I asked a direct question, I wanted a direct answer. If I did not get one I would ask the question in a different way same meaning different question.
My questions were not even BDSM related, they were about life, hobbies, likes and dislikes, food, music, work, and of course health, such as anxiety and depression. I wanted to know Arianna inside out before we parted for the day.
As a Dominant you want to get to know the submissive or slave as a person. I want to know there is a compatibility factor coming into play. I want to know we are going to have more in common than just BDSM.
You can teach someone how to suck cock, you can teach someone how you like to fuck, that is the easy part.
Your goal as the Dominant is to become friends, you cannot do that in just one or two meetings.
As I am talking to Arianna, I was imagining the type of collar she would wear, how it would rest around her neck.
See I was looking at the whole picture not only the now but the then, way down the road. I was picturing the two of us together, being out. Long drives going to different places. The whole picture, if you just live in the now you never get anyplace.
I use the word Property because it means ownership. When you place a collar around someone’s neck you are taking possession, thus the word property comes into play.
Many use several different collars, the consideration collar, the training collar, and a few others. I do not use any of those for a couple of reasons.
The slave or submissive is already under a lot of stress. I cannot even imagine what is going through their mind. I believe when we use the different collars we are in fact setting someone up for failure, because if it does not work out, this will cause a crash. I do however use a collar of protection this is worn when going out in the public to different BDSM events, such as Munchs or MAsT.
So I suppose at times I make up my own protocols, but I am me and I am the manager of my team, as a matter of fact I own the team.
We as Dominants or Masters should provide all information upfront. We should set the pace as far as how the relationship is going to go.
Meaning your going to go into some of the things you are going to include in your training. The structure you are going to help with, the communication. I believe as a Master we should have an open door policy. We need to let our property speak freely and express their needs, and if they have any questions or concerns.
I explain everything in such detail so that when I am done there are no questions.
I never tell someone when training has started, I just begin, you start off with small steps. The last thing you want to do is give someone a brain overload.
That is the same with Rules, Rules are meant to improve ones daily life. Rules are meant to build one up, remember taking bad habits and making good ones.
It is my opinion rules should not have anything to do with sex, because your going to get anything you want as a Dominant or a Master.
Telling someone they cannot masturbate for 2 months is not a rule, that is an ego, and nothing more. Telling someone they cannot masturbate has nothing to do with improving someone’s daily life.
Once we agree to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship we are then taking full responsibly for that slave or submissive, we have then made a total commitment, we have giving our word we would be there for them and only them.
My way is not the only way, and I know this, but I can show you the simple steps you can take so you can avoid all the headaches.
A dead give away, a Dominant tries to give you a collar on the first meeting, or even the first week, the first month.
That is a sign of desperation on his part, or he just wants to use you. There are way to many men out there that use a collar as a fuck tool. When your offered a collar you are sitting on top of the world, In our lifestyle there is no greater honor. To wear a collar your Dominant has offered you.
What makes the collar more special is knowing you have earned it. You have completed the training, well the start of it because it never really ends, but you have gotten to the point, the Dominant knows he has done well, and you have responded well. Now he wants to take ownership.
The collaring is meant to be special, it is meant to be remembered. When you get married does he just hand you a ring and say okay put this on we are married? Yea not to much of a special thing going on there.
It can be private, or you may have guest come over. You can have another Dominant preform the ceremony. You have a lot of options.
The collaring should start off with a conversation. The Dominant. I would like for you to except my collar, and these are the reasons why. A very detailed conversation, on the two of you, how you have grown, where your at now in the relationship, but more important where you plan to be in the future.
If your sitting at a Denny’s meeting for the first time, and your New Dominant reaches in his pocket and pulls out this cheap fake leather collar and says here put this on. I would hope you would call him an idiot and get up and leave.
There is a courtship in any relationship, be it D’s , M’s or vanilla. There is a process that each one of you take. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not, but do not let yourself be taken advantage of.
You the submissive should sit down with your Dominant and pick out your collar. Remember this is a huge step, in your journey.
What type of collar can you wear on a daily basis. When I collared Arianna at our wedding, I made it clear once I put it on it would never come off, and she accepted that, and to this day it has been off one time so a jeweler could look to see if he could add a Diamond to it. She wears it 24/7 and yes even to work.
The funny thing is no one has ever questioned her about it, or even mentioned it, at work or just out.
You have earned the collar wear it with pride.