Archive for the Meeting a new Dominant Category

BDSM Relationships Move So Fast

Posted in Arianna, Bad Dominant, bdsm, BDSM Abuse, BDSM Relationships, cock sucking, communication, control, controlling, Dominance, Dominant, Humiliation, Master, Meeting a new Dominant, Passwords, Slave, Submissive, sucking dick, Total Solitude, Verbal abuse, viledesires62@aol.com on March 6, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your traditional dating is pretty simple, you meet , talk go out spend time with each other. You go out to eat the movies , parks, kissing making out a little foreplay. You know this things tend to move slowly , both of you are on your best behavior trying to convince each other your the perfect fit.. If it works out it does if it does not oh well.

Then we cross the tracks , the other side of the world a new world unknown to most, something with a dark side , but in a way it is exciting.

Your train of thought changes as a female , you have not yet figured out where you fit in, all you know is what you have read really gets you going.

Now all train of thought is no longer rational , your not thinking clear, your brain is moving at Mach one and as of this moment what you have read , what you have chatted about in chat rooms, and maybe some small talk with women at work or maybe your to ashamed to bring it up.

Your Hormones have just kicked into high gear, all of a sudden you need BDSM in your life this is what you have been missing in your life…

You meet a Dom or Master in a chat room , maybe a Daddy Dom. You now let a complete stranger dictate who and what you are and the way words are put you may not fully understand but you go along with what your being told. He gives little hints using key words you pick up on.

Unlike the traditional dating 20 minutes into the chat , your asked what your limits are ? Limits what the fuck is that? Ahhhh your not sure so he begins to explain feeding you more. The next question is are you Bi ? That is always the first question, the second is do you swallow, do you take it up the ass? Do you enjoy pain? Do you enjoy humiliation ? What is the shortest skirt you own ? What are the shortest shorts you own? Do you go out in public without a Bra? How often do you Masturbate ?

If your not lock then comes the webcam , or kik then talking on the phone leading up to phone sex.

Here is what really gets me is the self punishment , making you punish yourself, spanking your pussy , putting clothes pins on your nipple and clit. Then the name calling starts and you go along with it because you do not know any better. The isolation kicks in keeping you away from friends and family. Your passwords and in most cases your banking information. I have seen a few get completely wiped out, and left with nothing.

If your local and you meet you are to wear a skirt or dress with no panties which I have never figured out. Once you meet about twenty minutes into the conversation he wants to start your training, you either get a room or if your dumb enough you take a complete stranger back to your home.

Then the cock sucking training begins , he blows his load down your throat pats you on your head and tells you to wait on his text..

All of the above happens in a matter of days not weeks or months, days and at times a day.

You are experiencing mass confusion your mind is stuck in neutral and you feel you have no where to turn. On the other hand you are taking the word of one person, then one who claims he can lead you down the right path, the one word you hear is Trust, trust me.

Your going to make mistakes , your going to make more than one , more than two or three and you will continue until you get your head straight.

Everything becomes a chore nothing is now fun, you dread seeing your Dom but at that moment and time he is the only one in your life.

All of the above has to do with your Hormones , and nothing more until your able to take a grasp on things.

The process is not as bad as you think it is, thinking through things is the difficult part..

Vile

 

 

 

Finding A Dominant Or Master On Fetlife

Posted in Bad Dominant, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Dating Sites, Bdsm events, BDSM Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, cock sucking, compatibility, consequences, Dominant, exposing bad dominants, FaceBook Vile Woods, Fake Dominants, Fetish, fetishes, fetlife, Fetlife Fetishes, Fetlife Groups, Manipulation, Master, Master and slave relationship, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, munchs, Safe and Sane, sane and consensual, Self Proclaimed Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on July 14, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

There are some days I just sit and shake my head. I limit my friends on Fetlife mainly because I do not want my friends feed full of junk and drama.
As a matter of fact I am going to clean house later today on my friends list.

Fetlife is really an awesome social site , you have millions of people , many who share the same fetishes with you, the same kinks and maybe the same interest when it comes to submission. There is a group for any kind of fetish you can think of.

What is really awesome is you have the ability to fins a partner if you want to invest enough time. If you truly know what you want and need there is a partner for you, be it a male, or female , Dominant , submissive , baby girl, daddy dom, pony play everything is right there at your finger tips.

Fetlife is worldwide , now please let it be known I am not pimping fetlife but I have been a member for a very long time , and it is one of the only social sites out there that is not covered with spam……

The search is relatively easy , you can search by country , state and in most cases even the city you live in.. If you find someone who strikes your interest shoot them a email because it is free….

So finding a Dominant a submissive a slave can be time consuming but it can be done with enough research and Patience….

So from time to time I like to perv profiles, it is funny because on Facebook you want to see where people are from and who their friends are, on Fetlife you want to see what your friends look like naked..

So you come across a Doms profile or a Masters profile , you perv his pics and most are cock pics , well this is the way he thinks, that is where his brain is located. Second you read his profile many times it is blank but then you look at the list of groups he belongs to..

Here is a Dominant I ran across this morning and his profile is blank.. However he does have a huge list of groups he belongs to.

…but i like it rough
1950’s Household Relationships
69 by 420: Marijuana Kinky
Accidental Nudity
Adult Movie Theaters
Any RolePlay, Any Time!
Anything Taboo
BBW AND MEN WHO ADORE THEM………………..
BBW Women of Cental Florida
Being groped or fingered in public
Big Brothers/Big Sisters of littles
Braless in public
Breed My Fertile Cunt
Brevard Kinksters
Candle Wax
Cheating wives and girlfriends
Confession
Consensual Nonconsent
Cum In Panties
Cumming in public
Curvy Women and the People Who Love Them
CYBER SEX IN WEBCAM
Daddy Doms and babygirls
Daddy ~ girl Relationships
Daddy/Daughter Love
DADDY/teen girls
Devilishly Single
Dirty Old Men & Young Sluts
Dirty, Filthy, Naughty, Perverted & Taboo
Dominants Who Loan Their submissives/slaves to Others For Sex.
Domme Daughters for sub daddys role play
EDGEPLAY
Erotic Word Games
Erotica of All Kinds
Erotica, for writers and readers.
Exhibitionists/Nudists.
Fantasies & Role Play: Bound, Gagged and Raped
Fantasy Rape Stories
Female Squirters/Gushers
FetLife Announcements
Fetlife Classifieds
FLICK- (Floridians Living in Consensual Kink), Central Florida
Florida bbw & the men that love them!
Florida Singles
Florida Squirters
Florida Threesomes
Forced Exhibitionism
Forced Orgasms
Forcing girl to go in public with remote control vibrator deep in her pussy…
Fuck Friends
Fuck or Pass (without any drama)
Fuck or pass.
Fucked While Sleeping
Guys who like to masturbate to women’s fetlife photos & Women who like guys masturbating to their fetlife photos
Hand over Mouth/Drugged Kidnap Play
Having sex with pregnant women
I ❤ Squirting!
Incest Role Play
Interracial Love
Kink-Friendly Housing / Apartments / Roommates etc.
Kinky Parents
Masters & slaves
Masters and slaves
May/December Kinky
Munch of Central Brevard
Naked Family
naughty / sexual ageplay
nudism
Orgasm Denial
Orlando – BBW and people who love them!
Orlando area sex party hub
Orlando Daddy Masters and babygirls
Orlando Golden showers and Water Sports
Orlando Kinksters
Orlando Kinky Swingers
Orlando Personals
Orlando Play Partners
Orlando Poly
Orlando!! Meat Market
people that like pee play
People who are awake at 3:00 a.m.
Picnic
Play Rape
Playing Overtly or Covertly in Public
PREGNANT AND PLAYING
Rape play
Rape Roleplay
Really Taboo
Rough Sex
SEX WITH STRANGERS
Skinny Dipping
Skype Webcam chat
Sluts, Cunts, and Whores
SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE
Sons Of Anarchy Fan Club
Squirty Girls
submission by cam
Talking Dirty
Tattoos!
Teasing To The Brink Of Orgasm
The Oral Sex Classifieds.
The Woodshed Orlando
Tittie lovers
Unpartnered Little Girls
Upskirt peeking
Webcam Encounters
Winter Park, FL Kinksters
Young BBW (18-30) and admirers!
Young Breeders
Young Individuals Looking for Older Partners and Vice Versa

While pretty interesting he has no ties to the community at all, this should be a huge red flag. Blank profile. You want someone who is active in the local community , but mot of all you want someone who knows what they are doing. There is a reason this Dom is not part of the community because I am going to guess he is not welcome or he is just a predator.

This profile is actually on a friend of mine friends list and he was mentoring her…. She is pretty new to the lifestyle and is at a point where she is not listening, shrugs ….

Look at the groups , check out the fetish list see if your compatible , if your not into bestiality or watching your Master being fucked up the ass then he is probably not the dom for you.

Now it is true just because he is active in the community does not make him a good dominant, some are active but most times you will be warned…

It is not science it is common sense..

bill

I fucking Love Bill he is the Man, well next to me

Vile

A Dominant Who Is In Control

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Commit, commitment, communication, conceded, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Dominants, Married Dominant, Master, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , , , , , , on October 3, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Lets us Separate The good and the Bad Dominant, and I hope I paint a very clear picture, on what you should expect.

Learning control was something that took me a very long time.
Control while around My wife and Property.

If I told you Vile never loses his temper I would be lying to you.
I remember while at a Dodge Dealer ship one of the sales supervisor’s pissed me off, and I took my hat off and threw it across the showroom and yelled, you can all go fuck yourself. Yea I did not get fired like I thought I would, they new Vile was just being Vile.

The bottom line is I do get angry, I get very angry. Maybe that is just my vent, or if people didn’t try and fuck with me, it is a possibility I would never lose my temper.
Just like stupid people you can only handle so fucking much, until you blow like a volcano, but my Lava runs for days.

Our partners , our slaves, our submissive’s , we set the example. We are leaders. We lead they follow.

As a Dominant we have to earn respect, we have to earn trust. We are the teacher, we train, we lead, and we give advice.
We attend Doctors appointments ,
We not only want to be part of their everyday life, we need to be part of their everyday life.

You know I look around and I see how many Dominants , and how they just live a life of self inflicted problems and drama

So they fall under three categories. One they are just down right stupid, two they really don’t give a fuck, or three they do not have a clue.
The truth is you can only fake something so long you are exposed.
You have to ask yourself a question ? How far are you willing to go to fuck someone’s life up ?

Many people think I am somewhat unorthodox in my ways, many think I am to strict. Many think I am to extreme in my beliefs.
However I do not have a revolving door of women coming and going.

I think your ways are wrong Vile. Really now, tell me Mr. Dominant who has had 5 subs in less than two years, So who is wrong?

No one is wrong unless you fall under any of the three above, but then again in your mind nothing is wrong. Shrugs it does not effect me in any way.

So you spend much of your time arguing with your sub when your together. So you think this makes you some kind of special in someway.

In reality if you are who you say you are, you act the way your suppose to act, you do what you say your going to do, your truthful, and honest.
You can have anything you want in your relationship, the sky is the limit.
Your submissive will crave to give you what you need, they will want to please you in any way.

Someone made an argument sometime ago when I made the statement. Dominants are a different breed of men, and I stand by that statement.
When I sold cars, I met a lot of Pussy’s who could not make a decision and would not unless their wife approved.
I would get a call, well my wife said I could not get a new truck for work, she is getting her car first. I was like WOW your putting food on the table, and she is sitting home all day watching Jerry Springer.

Love has nothing to do with being a different breed. When run our house, although we listen, we do have the final say.

What you put into your relationship is exactly what your going to get out of it, and many of you never catch on.

What your stuck on is a title and nothing more. If your the CEO of a large company and you go bankrupt what kind of CEO are you. If your a Daddy Dom, a Dominant or a Master and your relationships continue to fail, yea well you can answer that one on your own….

Those of you who are slaves and subs, baby girls. If your in an abusive relationship and you choose to stay and your hoping it will get better. Then you deserve what you get.
The Dom your with is not the only one out there, just like your not the only one out there.

I made the comment sometime ago , that our problems were self inflicting , and I got some negative feed back about that statement, but it is true.
We tend to try and take short cuts instead of following our path, and when we get off the path we are suppose to take, then the problems start caving in..
Then it is no longer our fault, someone else did it, we blame others. It is about accepting the responsibility , and owning up to our wrong.

When I was younger I was one of the ones who used so to speak, but I would make it very clear upfront that I was not interested in anything long term. So I wonder if that was still considered using someone?
I think many will just follow in hopes things may turn around , that a relationship will evolve , but in the back of their mind they really know.

Most real Dominants are true gentlemen, most are somewhat conceded , but still remain gentlemen. Most are very secure, but still are gentlemen , most are cocky but still real gentlemen. Most are very positive as well.
Most who are not just interested in sex but you will show their true colors even before meeting..

Most of us Dominants have a code of ethics we follow. We are very respectful , we are proud , we are honest, and caring. We put our property first before anyone or anything else. We live by the truth and only the truth. We are not married cheating on our spouse, the list goes on and on, but you get the picture….

Much Love

leash

Vile

Collaring Your Property

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Collar, BDSM Communitys, Cheating Dominant, Collar, Collared Slave, collaring ceremony, Commit, commitment, communication, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, Married Dominant, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock with tags , , , , , on September 19, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A Dominant gets that feeling when he first meets a slave or submissive.
The entire time while in deep conversation we sit there in deep thought, it is almost like being in another world, a world of our own.

I sit and listen, while I am talking to myself, my mind in soaking everything in. The words, the facial expression’s, hand movements , posture, hair, makeup, jewelry , the way she is dressed. Yes even down to the hands and nails. The way she drinks, the way she picks up her silverware , the way she eats, the way she drinks, I am taking in all of this information, yes even the way she ask and answers questions.

When I met Arianna I knew within the first 10 minutes if it would be possible to build something, I knew a relationship was highly likely.

Yes while it is true the first thing I noticed was her beauty, perhaps the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. She carried herself very well. Nicely dressed, very feminine, her hair was almost perfect, and just enough makeup. Her hands are small, her nails were done. That is one of the first things I look at when it comes to a female. Nails hands and feet, and no I do not have a foot fetish. It is a sign of how good they take care of themselves, and how much they care.

Remember I am looking for a relationship, not a fuck buddy, or a piece of ass on the side. I was not looking for someone to suck my cock when I was lonely.

Every question had a purpose, every answer had a purpose. If I asked a direct question, I wanted a direct answer. If I did not get one I would ask the question in a different way same meaning different question.

My questions were not even BDSM related, they were about life, hobbies, likes and dislikes, food, music, work, and of course health, such as anxiety and depression. I wanted to know Arianna inside out before we parted for the day.

As a Dominant you want to get to know the submissive or slave as a person. I want to know there is a compatibility factor coming into play. I want to know we are going to have more in common than just BDSM.

You can teach someone how to suck cock, you can teach someone how you like to fuck, that is the easy part.

Your goal as the Dominant is to become friends, you cannot do that in just one or two meetings.

As I am talking to Arianna, I was imagining the type of collar she would wear, how it would rest around her neck.

See I was looking at the whole picture not only the now but the then, way down the road. I was picturing the two of us together, being out. Long drives going to different places. The whole picture, if you just live in the now you never get anyplace.

I use the word Property because it means ownership. When you place a collar around someone’s neck you are taking possession, thus the word property comes into play.

Many use several different collars, the consideration collar, the training collar, and a few others. I do not use any of those for a couple of reasons.
The slave or submissive is already under a lot of stress. I cannot even imagine what is going through their mind. I believe when we use the different collars we are in fact setting someone up for failure, because if it does not work out, this will cause a crash. I do however use a collar of protection this is worn when going out in the public to different BDSM events, such as Munchs or MAsT.
So I suppose at times I make up my own protocols, but I am me and I am the manager of my team, as a matter of fact I own the team.

We as Dominants or Masters should provide all information upfront. We should set the pace as far as how the relationship is going to go.
Meaning your going to go into some of the things you are going to include in your training. The structure you are going to help with, the communication. I believe as a Master we should have an open door policy. We need to let our property speak freely and express their needs, and if they have any questions or concerns.
I explain everything in such detail so that when I am done there are no questions.

I never tell someone when training has started, I just begin, you start off with small steps. The last thing you want to do is give someone a brain overload.

That is the same with Rules, Rules are meant to improve ones daily life. Rules are meant to build one up, remember taking bad habits and making good ones.
It is my opinion rules should not have anything to do with sex, because your going to get anything you want as a Dominant or a Master.
Telling someone they cannot masturbate for 2 months is not a rule, that is an ego, and nothing more. Telling someone they cannot masturbate has nothing to do with improving someone’s daily life.

Once we agree to enter a D’s Or M’s relationship we are then taking full responsibly for that slave or submissive, we have then made a total commitment, we have giving our word we would be there for them and only them.

My way is not the only way, and I know this, but I can show you the simple steps you can take so you can avoid all the headaches.

A dead give away, a Dominant tries to give you a collar on the first meeting, or even the first week, the first month.
That is a sign of desperation on his part, or he just wants to use you. There are way to many men out there that use a collar as a fuck tool. When your offered a collar you are sitting on top of the world, In our lifestyle there is no greater honor. To wear a collar your Dominant has offered you.

What makes the collar more special is knowing you have earned it. You have completed the training, well the start of it because it never really ends, but you have gotten to the point, the Dominant knows he has done well, and you have responded well. Now he wants to take ownership.

The collaring is meant to be special, it is meant to be remembered. When you get married does he just hand you a ring and say okay put this on we are married? Yea not to much of a special thing going on there.

It can be private, or you may have guest come over. You can have another Dominant preform the ceremony. You have a lot of options.

The collaring should start off with a conversation. The Dominant. I would like for you to except my collar, and these are the reasons why. A very detailed conversation, on the two of you, how you have grown, where your at now in the relationship, but more important where you plan to be in the future.

If your sitting at a Denny’s meeting for the first time, and your New Dominant reaches in his pocket and pulls out this cheap fake leather collar and says here put this on. I would hope you would call him an idiot and get up and leave.

There is a courtship in any relationship, be it D’s , M’s or vanilla. There is a process that each one of you take. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it does not, but do not let yourself be taken advantage of.

You the submissive should sit down with your Dominant and pick out your collar. Remember this is a huge step, in your journey.
What type of collar can you wear on a daily basis. When I collared Arianna at our wedding, I made it clear once I put it on it would never come off, and she accepted that, and to this day it has been off one time so a jeweler could look to see if he could add a Diamond to it. She wears it 24/7 and yes even to work.
The funny thing is no one has ever questioned her about it, or even mentioned it, at work or just out.

You have earned the collar wear it with pride.

collared1

Vile

You Cannot Demand Submission

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, commitment, communication, control, Dominance, Dominant, Dominants, emotional, Emotions, FaceBook Vile Woods, Gorean lifestyle, Gorean Master, Master, Master And Slave, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Uncategorized on September 14, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

While at a MAsT Meeting on Saturday , Masters And Slaves Together, somehow we drifted off topic and I was talking about the abuse in the local community and how the younger ones had no one to talk to.

I have spoken to a few Dominants about putting together a type of outreach program for younger slaves and those who are submissive, but no one has stepped forward as of late to help put something together.

Lets face it a 18 year old slave cannot turn to a 18 year old Dominant for advice when the topic is suicide or other problems. Like many of you, you truly do not have anyone you can turn to in a time of need, and certainly not your family when it comes to your lifestyle.

Then we got off track speaking about other Dominants we both knew 25 years ago, some still remain active in the lifestyle while one who I truly admired as a mentor fell from grace. A Dominant who was once respected in the lifestyle but go really stupid and ended up in prison.
I found it odd at times when a Dominant gets into trouble due to his own doings, be it acting foolishly or just being stupid. That is not something you would normally see out of a seasoned Dominant.

Then we got off on training, as I am talking and I start to unzip my pants, and the words come out of my mouth well lets start your training now, then Bam I stop…

We had left to look at another Apartment that morning, a very nice apartment, once inside it looked like a resort.
I am still trying to justify paying 1100 dollars a month for a place to sleep and fuck.

Moving closer to Arianna’s work for me is very important. She commutes and hour one way now so I would like to cut that down to about 15 or 20 minutes.
If your going to live someplace more so in an apartment you don’t want just anyone living next door, so I am willing to pay more.

You know there are so many levels of submission, and there is a Dominant for each Level. The same goes with a Dominant there are many different levels.

All to many times some are to fast to offer something that is so precious. Some just to fast to offer something that should be earned.

Respect has to be the first factor when it comes to entering a D’s or M’s relationship. You have to be able to respect the one your with.

One thing you cannot do is earn respect through chatting, emails and phone conversations. You may get that first WOW feeling, but the respect factor is going to have to be earned while both being present.

Earning someone’s respect is a process, and it should not be a first meeting process, it is a process that both of you should build together.

Someone making demands from the start is unrealistic. Being told to address someone as sir or calling someone Master before even agreeing to enter a relationship is unrealistic.

The one thing you want to happen is to see that WOW factor grow, as that WOW factor grows the respect begins to grow.

You want to make sure the Dominant is who he says he is. You want to make sure the Dominant is telling you the truth, being 100% honest with you.

One thing I never understood, why is it so important to show up for dinner wearing no panties? How does that prove your submission? Is that how you want to show your submissive ?

Why would you want to send someone you have never met nude pictures of yourself.
I myself never asked for any nudes from Arianna before we met. Do you know why? Because I respected her, I wanted to be able to move on past that WOW factor.
If I had asked for nudes I would of been just like every other she had met or Dominants who were trying to meet her. So I wanted to show I was different. I wanted to show Arianna I was more than the WOW factor.

If a Dominant wants to earn your submission, then he should have to earn your respect.

respect

Vile

Do You Really Need To Train Your Submissive ?

Posted in @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Rules, Meeting a Dominant for the first time, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive blank canvas, submissive or slave has rights, sucking dick with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 21, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

The truth is , no you do not. I know this sounds weird coming from me, but in a real perfect world no training is really required.

Many of you who are in active relationships have really had no type of formal training. Having no training can be okay and find if you are in the right hands.

Now you ask me how is having no training possible and being in a D’s relationship even possible ? How can a D’s relationship work with no training at all?

To train someone is to change someone into something the Dominant wants or needs. Training can be mild to extreme. Training can be very loving, or it can be very hard and strict. That would mainly depend on the Dominant or Master.

If you are truly a Submissive and you have the need to serve, in the right hands no formal training is really required.

Here is my thoughts and my reasoning. You have a lion who gives birth to a cub, once the cub is old enough to learn how to hunt it already has the basic instincts. What the cub now needs it for the lion to teach it how to use the skills it has already.

Okay maybe not the perfect analogy , but if you think about it, it really fits my explanation.

So you being the submissive already know your submissive, and you have the need to serve, be it sexual or domestic or both. What you need is someone who is capable of fine tuning those skills.

A lot depends on the submissive during this growing and learning process. It depends on how honest you have been, it depends on how much you want to put into the relationship , it depends on how much you truly trust your Dominant. It depends on the bond the two of you have formed, but more than anything , How much you want to serve.

See you already have the basic instincts , you already have a vision about what type of relationship you need. The key is finding the right partner, someone who can make you complete.

Many of you I am guessing are not really open to any type of training, your not really interested in being trained. You just need a Dominant figure in your life. Someone who is just going to take control, and lead.

The truth is everything will just fall into place. Everything will just seem so easy, and if continued the transition will be very smooth, and it is something you will not even really notice.

You can meet a new Dominant, which is what you all want. He may say he has 5, 10 or 15 years experience when in fact he has just read 50 shades of grey. This is not always a bad thing if the Dominant has the right intentions, and he to is looking for a long term relationship. Most Dominants who are new and have never had a submissive will never admit that , while I can understand those thoughts it is not really fair to you the submissive.

He will also state that he will train you, but once you have agreed to enter the relationship training never takes place, mainly because he does not have a clue, and you do not say anything because things are moving smoothly.

The only time you should be concerned is when he says lets start your training while he is unzipping his pants.If he tries to give you rules on the first meeting, some rules are okay, if they really benefit you, such as a new bedtime, or maybe a change in diet, but nothing should be sexual at this stage of the game.

If you benefit from just having that Dominant figure in your life with no rules, or task, even protocols then so be it, but you have to make sure your needs are being met, on all levels, and you should never settle for anything less.

The most important thing in your relationship is making sure your needs are met. If your needs are being met,then you are in the right place. If they are not you have the right to question. You have the right to know why you are giving so much and not getting back in return. You have the right to know what steps are going to be taking to make things right, and a time line.

You cannot give and give and get nothing in return, it does not work that way for you and if you allow it to it will not work for long.

You should always come first no matter what, that should never be negotiated.

 

focused Stay Focused, and learn everything will just fall into place.

Vile

Questions You Should Ask A New Dominant

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, bdsm, BDSM Safety, Be who you are, being used, chat room, Coming Soon Vile Radio, commitment, communication, Discipline, Dominant, FaceBook Vile Woods, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, Protocol, Questions You Should Ask A New Dominant, Rules, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, submissive on May 10, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

You Leave your house getting ready to meet a Dominant you have met on line. There are a lot of questions that should of been asked prior to meeting but these are best when face to face. You must have direct eye contact. Never let a Dominant tell you that you are not allowed to have any eyes contact. Number one that is just his ego, and two you have not submitted to him as of yet. Never let a Dominant tell you what to wear on the first meeting.

At this point in the meeting it is very important to be yourself , because you are not yourself it will come out in the laundry. Explain if he brings anything up about BDSM that you would like to get to know him as a friend first.

These questions came from

http://www.asubmissivesjourney.com/subbie2.html

1 How long have you been in the BDSM Lifestyle ? and what led you to the lifestyle ?

2 Do you plan to have more than one slave or submissive online or offline ?

3 What kind of relationship are you looking for ? Short Term or Long term ?

4 How much time are you willing to devote to training a new submissive ? How much of my time would you require in return ? Would we have daily contact ?

5 Do you indulge in these pleasures with men and women? If so what safety precautions do you take?

6 What type of training have you had to be a Dominant in a relationship ? Have you trained any Submissive who were new to the lifestyle ?

7 What are some of your basic philosophies when it comes to BDSM ?

8 Ahhh What are your rules ? What are your protocols ? What do you require of your slave and yourself ?

9 What kind of structured training do you prefer to use ? What kind of discipline or punishments do you use when rules are broken ?

10 Last and this is the most important. Do you have an references and may I contact them? I can tell you I have references a page long. every Dominant who has been in the lifestyle for any time will have as well.

Author unknown

I did change up somethings and I left a few out but you can touch base on the link I am going to provide.  These were real questions asked by a submissive.

These are all valid questions, and questions that should be answered face to face, without any hesitation.  If he does not wish to answer your questions simply get up and leave. If he is not real he will play the Dom card on you, and try to put you in your place. Stand firm and do not back down.

You being safe is what matters, you having the relationship you need is what matters. You being happy is what matters.

Now for the good stuff. Vile radio launch date will be between July 1st and the 15th please spread the word I want everyone listening, you will be able to chat and call in. I want to blow the servers up……..

Have kinky fun and be safe Much love to all.

Vile