Wow it has been two years now and we are still counting. I would like to say that each passing day gets better.
You know there is one thing we all want , and that is to find the perfect partner. Someone who is not just our partner , but our best friend, someone we can count on, turn to. We all want someone we can spend the rest of our life with, someone we can grow old with and sit on the porch in the evening , and talk about our past , present , and future.
The lifestyle is just a little different , because our needs are different. The way we view relationships is different , because your either a Dominant or your a submissive , and if you want to go deeper a slave and owned property.
Your stepping into a wide open world, and in many cases the world of the unknown. A new life journey, a new path , but we want to know what direction we are traveling in. What is more important you want to know you are going to be taking care of.
Being a submissive , slave or Baby girl is no easy task. You are really giving up so much, but under the right conditions you can gain so much more.
So 4 years ago I set out on a journey , and that journey was to find the perfect Slave , partner and wife.
I had made up my mind it was time to settle down. It was becoming old waking up in the morning alone , although I have always preferred being alone.
A year before meeting Arianna , I agreed to let a couple move in , I had been looking for a roommate for a while. It was not because I needed the money , I suppose it was more of a company thing , like during dinner or something.
Just prior to that I was living in a cabin on the river which was very relaxing and more so because there were no people near me. It was a short time after I became ill and after a dozen times going to the doctor we determined the cabin was full of mold, and I had spores on my lungs, so I had to move.
I underwent a couple of months of treatments and I was slowly beginning to feel better.
I ran across a house that was being remolded and I asked about renting it. It just so happened the house was right in the middle of the Hood. The house set on a street all alone so there was no one around me, but I was the only white dude with in about 6 or 8 blocks.
I quickly felt at home and I had made a couple of good friends. The only problem with friends is they want to visit , and I am not the social type , I tend to be out spoken and some take my personality offensive at times and my rather dry sense of humor.
The only reason I moved in was the house had just been remodeled other wise I would of never thought about moving there.
Okay I got off track a little so here we go.
I got real tired of jumping from relationship to relationship, and it was all because I was settling for less that what I wanted and needed. I was fulfilling the moment knowing it was not going to work, but I played it out until it ended. It was for companionship and nothing more and that never ends well.
So I was in the process of moving to the Philippines I already had a job lined up.
I had been searching for almost 2 years for the one, and I refused to settle for anything less. I already had my mind made up. So when it seemed I was just out of luck that is when I made arrangements to relocate.
Then One day I received a call from a Dom I knew who lives in Orlando and he said he wanted to introduce me to someone. He said we would be a perfect fit.
So reluctantly I agreed to meet and when I saw Arianna getting out of her SUV. I thought Lord Jesus there is a God. Wow I almost spit my coffee out.
So we talked for a couple of hours , we met again the next day and talked more, and the more we talked the more I thought it was some joke. Because I had never met anyone who did not object to anything as far as my needs and wants.
Then came the blow we talked about her needs and being micromanaged , protocols and rules. This was something I had to give a great deal of thought about because I had been in a micromanaged relationship before and it was really not my thing.
One thing I want to make clear, I was not looking for a housekeeper , or a cook. My house for the most was spotless. I was not looking for someone to do my laundry , and I was not looking for a mother figure.
I wanted to live an M’s relationship , nothing less. I was not looking for a submissive, why ? Because a submissive negotiates their relationship, a submissive has the right to say NO. I had tried that and it failed. There were not going to be any type of negotiation , the slave had to fit my needs.
You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it is impossible. You not only have your everyday life you have to deal with, but you have to be best friends.
You have to at some point and time be normal, there has to be a vanilla side that comes out.
I am a huge cut up, most people never know when I am serious or not.
We do have protocols in place and daily rituals that keeps us in that frame of mind, but we also have date nights we go out and do things together, and yes I even go clothes shopping with Arianna.
You as a submissive or slave should always come first in your relationship, that is your right. If your not you have the right to question, you also have the right to walk away.
If something is not going right you have the right to question. Again you are and should be number one.
I currently work from home , my office is covered with Arianna, I have pictures on the wall on my desk so where ever I look I see her, and she is the reason I am here today.
She is my last thought before I fall a sleep and my first breath when I wake and she is laying next to me.
Being in a D’s or M’s relationship is so much more than just barking orders or punishing you for something you really did not do.
The relationship is meant to provide security , structure , and yes rules but the rules are meant to provide the mentioned.
Once Arianna and I agreed to start a relationship , she really had no idea her training had started, I said nothing. It was an intense 90 day run we had.
Training is never over it is on going , I call it daily Maintenance , and that requires me to me consistent on a daily basis.
As Arianna grows she is always coming up with new ways she sees that she can hmmm reach a deeper state of submission.
The other night we were talking and she made the comment that she felt the mental aspect of our relationship more so than she would with pain.
The fact is I have never left a bruise on Arianna nor do I wish to.
Arianna had been in two bad M’s relationships prior to meeting me.
One of the first things I did was introduce her to people I knew in the local community, and people I had know for over twenty years..
It was not something I felt I had to do , but I wanted to put her mind at ease. Maybe it was to validate who I was. I do know she had been abused and lied to in the past.
Today her training still continues. We talk everyday , I want to know how she is feeling, what she is thinking, is there anything she wants to talk about.
Often she comes to me with ideas about how she wants to grow or explore an idea she has.
So if your Dominant says he wants to train you. You need to ask him to clarify just what his training means. What are you going to get out of his plan ? How is his training going to help you grow ?
One thing that cracks me up is when a sub or slave meets a new dominant he wants to impose rules.
I find that truly funny and I would assume the guy is a total dumb ass because he knows nothing about you, he knows nothing about your needs or habits.
NEVER I mean NEVER send anyone nude pictures of you unless you want your kids finding them on the internet one day and that will happen.
If he wants nude pictures tell him to use google. You sending pictures of yourself does not in anyway prove your submission.
To date Arianna and I continue to grow as with our love, and to date we have yet to have an argument and that is the truth, and it is not because she is not allowed to speak or ask questions, it is because of our communication.
Unfortunately for many when they first meet a New Dominant , one of the first words out of his mouth is. I am going to train you , I am going to teach you my ways.
That is the last thing you hear about training , unless you fuck up then it is brought back up about how his training has helped you.
Once that statement is made the first time you meet , your relationship becomes sexual and nothing more. There is little to no communication , there is no structure, there is nothing but you on your knees or on your back. Don’t get me wrong some are very happy with a situation like Ive stated above.
I am also sure some of you have experienced just what I just spoke about, and it is really sad you continue to follow such a dumb ass.
Your caught up in the moment , your caught up in the awe of things because you are now owned , and it is clear you the sub or slave really has no clear definition of the lifestyle.
What is even more disturbing you really do not have a clue as to what your looking for, you just know your looking for something.
You really have no clear definition , what the lifestyle really means.
When I started my journey I knew exactly what I was looking for in a partner. I knew the height, the weight , the personality. I had a clear picture in my head of how I wanted to live. I refused to settle for less because I knew inside I was better, I knew I deserved better and I refused to settle for less.
Life today is good , it could not get any better , and it is more than I ever dreamed possible, but that is because I had patience.
Your training is never ending because we change, as humans our needs change on a daily basis, so we either lose or we adapt. I can assure you it is much easier to adapt.
Once you have everything in place , it is just daily communication to keep the flow of things going. I cannot stress enough how much these two words mean. Consistent and consistency. You should have post it notes all over your home with these two words, and you should live by them and refuse to settle for any less.
Here is the thing , you already know your submissive, you already know you want to submit. You know your a slave , you already know you want to serve.
You do not want to be told to, you do not want someone to demand you submit. You should want to be in a place where you can do so willingly.
You want someone to step in and mold you.
You want a Dominant who can take what you have to offer and perfect it, and there is such a thing as perfection. You want someone who wants to grow with you and care enough to have the need to guide you.
You want someone who is going to be there for you, when times are good and when they are bad, you want someone who will understand your neediness and not see it as a weakness. You want someone who really understands you.
It is not science , it is not even math. It is both of you being who you are and wanting the same thing out of life. That my friend is not asking for a kidney.
Arianna grows almost daily , and now she is at the point to where she is able to express your inner thoughts and her needs , and it is me who adapts to her needs . In turn this allows her to grow and it gives her a chance to explore her submission…
The road is not hard and you can prevent pot holes.