Archive for the Meeting Category

30 Days No Fucking , no sucking

Posted in 30 Days Of Submission, abuse, Arianna, bdsm, Bondage, Commit, commitment, communication, Dating, Dominant, Dominants, fucking, Master, Master And Slave, Meeting, Meeting a new Dominant, Meeting your new Dom/Master, no sucking, oral sex, sex, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 12, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay so you meet a Dominant , or a Master and you now have something to prove, so you kick in this 30 days of submission test. I would truly like to know the numbers of the subs or slaves who complete the full 30 days, and those who take short cuts. or those who just said fuck it.

Arianna has started 30 days of cock sucking, but with the works schedule it is not that easy, but she has a calender by our bedroom door and every time she gives me head, she puts a star up, two stars if I cum. Most of the time I do not want to cause it feels so good.

So the 30 days of no fucking no sucking challenge. Sucking cock does not prove your submission, Ive said this before, laying on your back does not prove your submission. Sucking cock is not part of training.  Wearing a short skirt with no panties to meet a Dom is not part of training.

Training is meant for self improvement. Training is meant to train you to fit ones needs. Okay maybe down the road a Dominant may like his cock sucked a certain way, or maybe show you how he likes to fuck, but neither is part of training.

You do not have to mention any of this to the prospective Dominant or Master. Just make it part of your protocol , make it a rule and stick to it.

Here is the reason if you just say NO and the Dominant goes along with it, then he really cares about you, but if he comes off with this thing you have to prove your submission, or we have to start your training, then you know he does not have your best interest in mind.

You want a Dominant who has your best interest, a Dominant who wants you, A Dominant who will take care of you. If you start out sucking cock on the first meeting, that is all you will be in the relationship. A cock sucker, now if this does not bother you so be it, but since I have been blogging there have been a lot of you girls who have jumped from one Dom to another.

You want to dedicate so much time to this 30 days of submission , to prove yourself, why not prove yourself in other ways. Remember sucking cock does not equal submission. Laying on your back does not equal submission.

You proving you can follow direction, rules, protocols, that is how you prove your submission. If the Dominant truly cares about you and he wants a long term relationship he will understand. As a matter of fact that is something you can make clear up front. Remember you are not his submissive until you choose to submit.

If he demands you get on your knees to prove yourself, well you pretty much know what his intentions are, and it is not you he cares about. If he wants to train you to suck cock, let the training begin after you have agreed to enter a relationship, and there is no way you would know on the first or even the second meeting.

I promise you if you follow these steps, your outcome on future Dom’s will be much different and your chances of having a long term relationship will be much better.

Vile

 

Let Me Tell You Ladies Something

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, Advice, anger, Annoyed, Arianna, ass fucking, bdsm, betrayed, blow job, Collar, Collars, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Dating, Deception, Dominants, emotional, Fake Dominants, fucking, Gagged, Giving Head, Humiliation, inhibitions, Lie, Master, Meeting, Mini Skirts, No Inhibitions, No Panties, non-consensual, pussy, Respect, Safe, Safe and Sane, slave, Submission, submissive, submissive or slave has rights, sucking cock, sucking dick on November 24, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Warning Signs Of A Fake Dominant.

I am not or was not just speaking out of my ass, I have been there. I am not saying I was a fake, but I learned at a very young age how to manipulate the system, meaning how to get into a submissive’s head. That is what it is all about to begin with the Dominant being able to get into ones head. If he cannot do that he cannot control. It is you the submissive who allows this.

Yes I am guilty of a lot of messed up things. The hunt was exciting, the kill was a total rush. I was not looking for love I had one thing on my mind and that was getting my cock sucked and pussy nothing more. As I grew older it was not until my early 30’s I realized I wanted more. I had to find the one. It was then I found out the hunt was not as easy because this time I had a goal. I needed more so I had to be more selective in my search. I had three long term relationships all three were slaves. One after almost seven years her mother grew ill and she moved back to Korea. the second was my fault because I lost control, because I let my feelings get in the way. Now the love of my life Arianna

Everything I am going to tell you is the truth I have nothing to gain from misleading you

I am speaking as a man from past experience’s . So now what I am trying to do is make things right, give good valuable advice, if you listen you listen if you don’t well I tried.

Beware of the closet Dom, he is ego driven, nothing more. He will lead you down a path of total destruction and never look back, and when he is done he will wash his hands and move on.

BDSM is not about SEX. BDSM is not about SUCKING COCK or Laying on your back. BDSM is a relationship where the two form a bond that cannot be broken, BDSM is about communication and open communication. You as a submissive should be able to express your feelings with out being judged or talked down to.

So when first meeting you only give out information you think you need to, nothing to private, no problems, if you suffer from depression or anything else that should not be brought up, for sometime. This is ammunition that can and will be used against you. This is how a closet Dom gets in your head he preys on your problems. He will tell you trust me I will make everything alright. I can and want to help you. I am here for you.  Listen because if you think this has happened to you before.

What makes one a Dominant ? What makes one a Master ? these are questions you should ask. If you think of a question then ask, do not be afraid to ask in fear of ruining a date, because if you do not ask he will not volunteer any information.

You need to have a plan put in place a list of questions, and make sure all questions are answered. If he seems like he is getting a little agitated then something is wrong. You the submissive is conducting the interview.

If you did not fuck on your first date, why would you think you would on the first meeting with a potential Dom. To prove your submissive ? Fucking or sucking cock on the first date does not prove anything . At this point he is already halfway through the hunt.

A huge red flag if the Dominant talks about a collar on the first meeting. In my eyes it really takes about six to eight months before someone should ever consider offering a collar. A collar is earned , a collar is just not giving out. Would you marry a man on your first date? I would not think so. If not why would you just be willing to hand over complete control of your life ?

Passwords is another huge flag. Although I do have access to Arianna’s phone I to this day have none of her passwords. Why is this, for one I am not ego driven, and two I trust her. It is not to say that one day I may have her log into her email , because I have that right and she knows it. Your passwords are just that yours. Even in a D’s or M’s relationship we still need some privacy. If he gets angry because you do not wish to share, then just walk away.

You have to be best friends, you have to enjoy being around each other. Going out and doing things together, laughing and joking. You cannot be Master and Slave 24/7 it just does not happen that way, although you are always in that frame of mind.

If you find out your spending more time on your knees and in the sitting position then guess what ? You have been had, you are just another victim another notch in his belt.

We all want the same thing out of life. A partner we can depend on, someone we can let all of out inhibitions flow away. We want to be able to share everything,but more so we want to know we are loved.

You do not have to spread your legs to prove your submission, you do not have to suck cock to prove your submission. You do not have to clean his house to prove your submission. You prove your submission by being who you are.

To allow someone to take you to a motel on the first meeting, that is just insane. We are human not cats we only have one life and to give that life up to try and prove your submissive is just plain crazy.

If you get with a Dom who is not experienced and he is into impact play you can really get fucked up. Even rope bondage you can get hurt if your not tied correctly. You can hurt muscles and damage tendons that is a fact. Impact play if you can lose a kidney if you are hit to high. Your tail bone can be broken. You can get hurt, and your not going to tell anyone how it happen due to the humiliation.

I said this yesterday once you are tied down spread eagle, blindfolded and gagged you are fair game. He can do anything to you he wants, and you will get hurt, or worse. Do not play with your life, you have nothing to prove.

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Vile

You as a submissive or slave has rights, you not only have to agree to a Doms terms but he has to agree to yours as well. You do not have to submit until the Dom has agreed to your terms and your rules.

Number one, you should know where he works. You should have his phone number and have the abilty to call when ever you have the need . You should have the ability to text when you have the need and expect a reply in a timely manner. A timely manner is not the next day. You should have his address to where he lives and the ability to see him when you have the need. He should be willing to introduce you to his friends and co-workers. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Do not ever let a Dom tell you what you are going to wear on the first meeting. Most women would not feel comfortable wearing a short skirt with no panties meeting a total stranger

What I want , What I get

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Acceptance, anal sex, Arianna, Ass, ass fucking, bdsm, Bond, Collar, control, controlling, Dating, Dominants, Email, Ex Dominant, inhibitions, kinky, Loyal, Master, Masters, Meeting, Micromanagement, My Bitch, oral, oral sex, Protocol, sex, slave, slut, submissive, whore on July 16, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

I consider myself one of the luckiest men, husbands , Dominant, and Master in the world.

Time has really flown by what seems like eight months to me seems like eight days. I remember the first time I met Arianna for the first time in my life I was speechless, then when she exited the car, I was thinking Fuck Me. She was and is still very hot, a body built for sin.

So I took a deep breath whew, and walked up and introduced myself thinking I do not have a chance in this life time, but my head held high I spoke with confidence, taking in every word she said. My eyes wondered up and down just taking in her firm body, her beautiful eyes and smile. I was thinking there is noway she can be as nervous as I am.

Getting her to meet me was a challenge as well, she had just ended a relationship with an older Dominant. They never went anyplace, he never took her out and was an old 55 as she puts it.

Then I received her second email, and she began to explain her feelings about older men and she was just not sure if I would be able to keep up, not sexually but in general. Finely she agreed to meet me. The first meeting was a couple of hours talking and getting to know each other. She said she had to leave and she would text later.

Okay it is done no way no how it was good while it lasted. I just and watched her car vanish. I swear all I was thinking about was watching her get out of the car, blood rushed down to my dick so fast I got dizzy. Fucking WOW.

An hour passed and nothing, two hours and nothing, okay I will text her. So I hope you made it home safe, it was good to meet you, and I fully understand if I am not your type. I waited what seemed like a life time, then a text. Can I come over tomorrow? I almost dropped my fucking phone.

It was about a week and Arianna was staying at night getting up and going to work. I felt good, I felt alive again, it had been two years since my last break up. I had dated in between, but really met some wacko’s , I was beginning to think well just fuck it your doing good alone now, no worries.

I had been in a state of depression for sometime, I suppose due to my last relationship. I had lost that drive, I had lost that caring part, you know fuck it.

Arianna sparked something deep inside, I felt like a plant that had not been watered for a very long time, then I was sit outside in the rain, what an awesome feeling. I could now breath.

Everyone comes with some baggage, everyone has some problems , so we have to decide if this is a trail we want to take. Do we want to explore this avenue? Do we want this type of responsibility? I did do a lot of inner searching and my conclusion was yes this is something I can do. Although I had said before I wanted no part of a micromanaged relationship. What changed my mind is how well we clicked, the communication. Most of all how well Arianna’s training was progressing.

Arianna emailed her Ex Dom to inform him once again it was over and she would not be back. The return email was not so friendly, You fucking whore, you fucking cunt, what a slut you are, you are worthless. I own you until this date then you are released.

I was thinking WOW really this is coming from a 55 year old Dom you had 30 years of experience.

So I emailed the Kind Sir, his first email was pretty nasty, but my reply was calm, and after a few he had calmed as well. I stated that BDSM must be different where he lives because where I am from Dominants do not act in the manner he was acting. I also stated that I thought in order for someone to be released one had to be collard and it was my understanding Arianna had never been.

Can I come back over tomorrow, yea I almost dropped my phone, I waited about five minutes before I replied. Um yea sure you can we will see where things go, and how we get along. We spent the next couple of hours texting, I remember I could not sleep at all that night, I just tossed and turned my mind was racing 200 miles an hr.

What I wanted was the whole picture, like before I was not going to bend or give in and settle for less like I had in the past. Pussy was to easy to come by and I wanted more. I wanted to settle down with not one, but the one.

I wanted a partner first off, a Slave someone who had a slaves heart, someone who had the need to be a slave. I wanted a best friend. I wanted a slut, a whore all rolled into one. I wanted someone with little to no inhibitions , someone who was open to new things, an open mind. I wanted a Slave who was willing to give up full control.  I wanted someone who wanted an open line of communication, someone who would listen and I knew they were.

Bamm it happened on her second visit I knew this was the one. I could almost read her mind, I knew what she was going to say before she spoke. I knew without a doubt she was the one.

I went into great detail about what I was looking for, I left no card unturned, I explained I would not bend nor would I give in, it was Viles way or no way. She agreed she wanted to see where things would go but wanted to move slowly. I knew right then it was game on. I only had but one thing to do, and that was to prove who and what I was.

First I started introducing her to others I knew in the lifestyle, kinda like references if you will. I wanted to make Arianna feel more comfortable , knowing that she was with someone who really knew what they were doing. Then the key was to stay consistent on a daily basis.

I remember the first time I offered a collar and she declined. It really blew my mind, but I did not let it bother me, she just explained she was not ready. After a month or so she asked me if she could wear my collar. I knew then we were headed for a lifetime relationship.

What some fail to see is anyone could have a total life of bliss, a relationship that is a true sign of perfection.

Why argue? No one can give me a reason why two people would argue. Over Money? Jealousy? To controlling ? Spending to much money ? Are these valid reasons to fuck your day up or a couple of days.

Your woman should be your only concern, your woman should come first before anyone. You as a man or Dom should never raise your hand out of anger, you should never call out names out of anger. You the Dominant should be in full control at all times.

One should never push limits to the breaking point. Most Dominants will try to push or go beyond ones limits, why? just because it is there.

So what I wanted. I wanted a Slave not a Submissive, I wanted a Slave. I wanted full control. I wanted loyalty no questions asked. I wanted a one on one relationship no questions asked. I wanted a Slave who would follow my house rules, my protocols , my dress codes. I wanted someone who was smart, intelligent, I wanted a Slave who could and wanted to communicate, one that could express her feelings. I wanted a Slave I could confide in. I wanted a Slave who would voice her opinion if I was about to make a mistake, that I value more than anything. I did not want a house keeper, nor a cook. I did not want someone to do my laundry.

What do I get ? Everything a man could dream of.

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Vile

The Different Dominants

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Safety, Beatings, Bond, Breaking a Slave, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Domestic Abuse, Dominants, events, extreme, Fake Dominants, Health, Honesty, Humiliation, kinky, masochist, Master, Masters, Meeting, munchs, oral, oral sex, Pain, passion, pony play, Protocol, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe and Sane, Safe Word, Sane, Scared, self confidence, sex, sex slaves, slave, Spanking, Stalker, submissive, sucking dick, TPE, training your slave, younger women, your own pet on November 26, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Everyone is different, we all have different needs. Subs and slaves have different needs. Some need strict discipline , some need more structure than others, some have the need for pain and humiliation, some have the need to be broken, and built back up. Some have very few to no limits, while others have a list a mile long.  Some want massive amounts of attention, while some are introverts and really has no need to be cuddled. The Daddy Dominants is big on after care, he needs this time just as his baby girl does.

What ever your kink is, there is a Dominant to fit your needs. In out lifestyle it can take a while to find the one. The one who fills all voids. Then there are some who will give a little, bend if he is truly interested in someone.

The number one sought after Dominant is the Daddy Dom. In most cases he is much older than his submissive. He is very loving, caring, and seems to be understanding. He wants his little girl to succeed in life. He is there to give loving guidance. He does most of the cooking as well. The two together love attention, always hand in hand. The Daddy Dom is based more on discipline and structure. He is more of an over the knee spanker, or corner time dominant. Some are not very strict at all. It is the loving, supportive, and understanding features the Baby Girl is after.

Next the the lowest of all Dominants The Fake Predator, the on your knees bitch. He is cool with words, he tells you just what you want to hear, he preys on your problems, your weakness’s. They fact that one is needy makes his strike more dangerous. He is in a rush to meet, He demands you wear a skirt, most of the time nothing under. He will insist on booking a room. He has to rent a room because he is married. He demands sex on the first meet, he has brought a small bag of toys or just uses his belt. He will want to collar you on the first meet. Give you rules that you know you are unable to follow. He will hurt you, not only in the physical , but mentally. He will degrade you, humiliate to make you feel worthless.He will never take you to BDSM events. He will insist you are all he needs. He will slowly cut you off from friends, and sometimes even family. I have seen it take up to a year before the sub or slave figures this out. 99% of the time he preys on someone new to the lifestyle.

Next is the Doctor Dominant, the fixer. His prey are weak subs, those who are covered in problems, they feel they have no where to run to. Then this knight in shinning armor shows up with open arms. This relationship is not about sex, although in the beginning sex is often, then it dwindles down to nothing. Once he feels he has fixed the challenge is gone, he will move on to his next challenge. Or if he cannot fix he will pace all the blame on the submissive.

The sadist. His pleasure is your pain, humiliation , degrading. He is always thinking of new ways to use you. He craves the pain and fear in your eyes. He cannot function properly during sex without inflicting some type of pain. He needs little attention, as a matter of fact he would rather put you in a closet until he is ready to use again. It seems he is unable to feel, unable to show any type of emotion, and unable to love. To a masochist this is her dream relationship. On the lighter side, he will take care of his, although he will push, he will not cause any permanent damage. You break your toy, you cannot play. Any limits are those giving to you by him. Again this just like any other is a consensual based relationship.

The Trainer. A dominant pet owner be it pony play, puppy, kitten. This is not in a lot of cases a sexual relationship, if it is it is not based on bestiality. Very strict but very loving he cares for his animals. This part of the lifestyle takes a lot of dedication, and patients.  I do not understand, but again to each their own.

I call the confused. The Switch Dominant. I never really got this type, owning a submissive being in control, but have the ability to submit to another. Most male Switches are Bi sexual. as well. Those I know and are friends are very good dominants, I just do not understand. I find it hard when a submissive or slave can watch her dominant submit to another, and still respect. To each their own I am not judging.

Mr Cocky , the Ego Dominant, purely Ego driven. He is the one you see in leather, with no shirt. The sub or slave responds to the snapping of fingers. He is verbally abusive in most cases and at time can be physical. He wants to know why it took you 30 minutes at the store when it should of only took 29 minutes. He is constantly putting other Dominants down, he is always right the other dominants have no idea what they are talking about. He is controlling not in control.If he has profiles on social sites his name begins with Master.

The in control dominant. He carry’s himself in a authoritative manner, while in control, he never brags about who or what he is. He is fair, but strict, he imposes rules and guidelines, high on protocol. He is very communicative, he shows he truly cares. He never gives more than one can handle. While he respects his property’s  limits, he will continue to push.He like the Daddy Dom needs attention, he wants to know he is loved and cared for. He will open up some, but as with any dominant we all have trouble with that. We view that as a weakness. A submissive or slave will use at one time or another, with out even realizing it. He ins very much in control. When he speaks you can hear, when he touches you can feel. he will insure your needs are met. He places his property in a number one status as the Daddy dom. He has most of the traits of all of the above, with the exception of the Fake Dominant. He is also big on after care, he truly cherishes what he has collard and calls his own.

BDSM is a positive based relationship, it should be one without any abuse, mental or physical. He should put you at number one without question. Take care of you when you are sick. He wants you healthy, after all if you are sick, no play for the owner.

The Submissive or Slaves are very special, strong. They have the need to give and please, and in most cases will do without question. They only have one true need in life. That is to be loved for who they are.

Like those who are still looking, even I we will find the one who fits like a glove, someone we can grow with.

Much Love

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Vile

People Have Found Me On FaceBook

Posted in bdsm, Daddy, Daddy Doms, Dominants, FaceBook, Fake Dominants, Friendship, Meeting on October 23, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

The last month or so I have had several friend request, and it turns out, these are people who follow my blog.Well the bad news is my facebook is really pretty vanilla. Although most of my friends are in the lifestyle, I guess we all need a vanilla place.

So I had a new friend message me a couple of times, which is okay, I do enjoy the interaction at times. She sent me a message asking me the characteristics of a Daddy Dom, and what his role should be.

First off, I truly believe any Dominant can fill that role, if he finds someone he is truly interested in. I was happy in that role for several years, and would be again with the right submissive.

So I gave her a small list, of what I thought the role of a Daddy Dom was suppose to be. What I really like is she knew my blog inside , and out. That really impressed me. What I liked even more is in the end she used my advice.

I asked her what this Dom thought his role should be, she said she has asked him but he had not gotten back to her as of yet, then Bam here came his answer.

To provide for, check. To take care of. Check, going pretty good so far, then the bomb. Here was his answer. his answer for daddy dom is ……”just one that provides takes care of punishes and makes certain demands from time to time” Really is this the New Dominant you want.

He had one other he said, but she now hated him, so he could not use as a reference , more important he knew no one else in the lifestyle. So she had to pretty much take his word.

Another question I gave her. I said ask him what Sub-Space was. Her answer was ….he has no idea about subspace. At least hes honest…. Yes he is Honest.

So he wants to fill a role, take the responsibility over someone, yet he has not a clue, or any idea what the role really Intel’s

The conversation was a little longer, but those were the two main areas. Sub-Space is a good question to ask a potential Dom, most predators do not know that answer. Maybe he is not a predator, she is pretty fucking hot. Her page really tells who she is, which is awesome.

The thing is, she has read my blog, about the safety, and she followed, and in the end, she stated she was glad she did not give in.

She is new to the lifestyle, has never been with a Dom, she is taking her time, and asking questions. She gets an A. in my class.

Many Doms come off playing the Dom card, they will show their cards before seeing the subs. Start off barking rules, and what he is thinking, yea I am going to get the pussy. It is true I have been there, I have had the same thoughts, the same agenda, another notch in my belt. Been there Done that.

Then comes the day we have to grow up, and we see things in a different prospective, we finely see the light, but that is not always the case. The thing is most do not see nor do they care about the damage, they caused, or they do not see the submissive laying in bed alone at night crying, because she allowed herself to be used. The fact is, it is not her fault, the submissive did nothing wrong. Just like buying a used car, sometimes you get a lemon. The key is to learn from your mistakes, kick the dirt, and move on.

So she had three questions, had he been in a D’s relationship?yes he had, but she hated him now. Strike One. What is the role of a Daddy Dom? he blew that answer, Strike Two. What is Sub-Space he did not have a clue Strike Three.

To make Demands from time to time. That was part of his answer. There are no demands. The Dom has to earn respect.

This is what happens in a D’s relationship, I have said this over and over. Once you enter a relationship, everything really just falls into place. You enter the relationship, knowing each others place.

Rules are meant to help,subs or slaves need rules. I use rules to break bad habits. Not demands.

So my friend my hat goes off to you. and thank you for following my blog, and more so really reading it, keep the questions coming. If I do not know the answer, I will ask.

Much Love

Vile.

Talk about fake Dominants, But what about the Fake Subs or Slaves

Posted in abuse, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, blow job, Bond, Bondage, Collars, communication, control, controlling, Discipline, etiquette, events, Fake Dominants, flake slaves, fucking, Health, Humiliation, Love, Master, Masters, Meeting, molding your slave, munchs, oral sex, Protocol, pussy, Rough Sex, Rules, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, submissive on October 4, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

Everywhere you turn on the Internet words are spoken of Fake Dominants, beware of the predators , beware of those just looking to use and abuse. It just goes on and on.

What no one really brings up, are the Fake so called Submissives and slaves. A woman reads Fifty Shades Of Grey, and that is life life she so needs now, or not even a fucking book, runs across a vid of some bitch getting tied up spanked, faced fucked, and she thinks this is what I need. An article she read on BDSM this is who I am.

Just like a Submissive or slave devotes a great deal of time trying to start a new relationship, well the same thing goes for the Dominant.

The truth is most not all but most when it comes to a slave or submissive, their life is already turned upside down, mass fucking confusion, they feel there is no where to turn, unloved , no one cares about them, self pity, poor me.

So you want to be owned, a slaves one desire is to be Collard and owned, stand proud next to her Master. Until she finds out she has to put a little work into the relationship, or he likes his cock sucked to much, or he wants to fuck my ass, that is not my thing. He wants to control me to much.

This is what pisses me off, this is me, this is how I work. If I think for one minute you may just be real, one fucking minute. The first thing I want to do is become your friend, fuck sex, fuck BDSM, throw everything to the side. I want to be your best friend, I want to begin to gain your trust.

Now there are some fucked up Doms out there. There are those who are predators , those who use and abuse , and toss you out like an old can.

On the other hand there are those who are real, from day one a dominant begins putting a plan together, one that fits you. One of the first things I get asked. What about rules? What rules are you going to give me? Well the first day, I do not have a clue, maybe not even the first week or month. Every sub or slave is different, different needs, different structure. This is why I for me have to get to know someone.

The bottom line is a real dominant devotes so much time in getting to know a sub or slave, I use both but I prefer Slave.

Can you tell I am upset at this point?

All you women who have a copy of Fifty Shades do me a favor , pick up the book, lift the lid of your trash can, and throw the mother fucker a way. Because your life as a submissive or slave is nothing like the book. It gives nothing but false hope, and lies.

Your life is in total turmoil , you do not know where to run, who you can turn to, then you find the one who is going to rescue you. WRONG this is the biggest mistake you can make in your life, you have to want a relationship in the lifestyle, instead of expecting someone to fix you.

I will give you a good example, I was contacted by a Goth , which I really really dig, average looking, that is okay, I am no Tom Cruise. I do not base anyone on looks, it is what is on the inside, and the personality , those two quality mean so much more, within reason.

This Goth chick contacts me who is 40 ish which is okay, I do prefer a younger slave, but I am not that close minded. The first couple of days everything seems fine. The once she is comfortable she begins to open up, and start sharing more. I will admit for the first couple of days of chatting and talking, my cock was doing more thinking than my brain, I just really dig the Goth Look, the dark makeup, the boots, torn stockings, everything.

Then come the fucking Bomb. Well I have 5 kids who all live at home the youngest is 17, no one else in the house works, two girl friends also live with two of her sons. Why don’t you ever smile? Well my teeth are bad? I am over weight but I need someone to force me to diet, I cant pay my rent, because I have to get my drivers licenses back , that I lost over a year ago. I have a Cyst on my on my kidney that causes so much pain.

You know what fuck you.

You who are submissive or a slave or think you are. You do not have a clue, how much time a dominant spends in putting a plan together, that suites you. His plan is tailored around you, and no one else, a lot of time and thought goes into what is best for you. It is the same thing if you were to join a gym, and you need a private trainer, he puts a program together that fits you.

The a month into the relationship maybe three months, this is the ball breaker, the three month mark. Well this is not for me, I cannot do this, I am not submissive, or maybe I am sub, but not a slave.

You should of come to this conclusion long before, because everything has already been implemented, put into place. This should of been your Que, this is not for me. Speak up, say what is on your mind, instead of leading someone on.

Everything a Dominant, teaches you, tells you, shows you, is to help you in everyday life. Rules, Structure, And yes Protocol, all of these are for your benefit, no one else. It has nothing to do with an alter ego as many think. It has nothing to do with abuse as many think, or I am Dom hear me fucking roar.

In the real world , the truth is, there are just as many fake subs or slaves as there are dominants. I would imagine the number is pretty equal.

Then this is on both sides of the fence, those who just want to play head games, because for what ever reason they have nothing better to do. I do not get it. I cannot stress enough, on how much time we as dominants devote, to building a relationship.

Seeking advice, for a dominant is not an easy task. One there are not many he can trust, not many who wont spread his problem around like a virus gone bad. Do not get me wrong I have many friends in the lifestyle, but we it comes to total trust, the number is zero, notta. I am a private man for the most, and I will keep it that way.

I have also brought up the fact that a sub or slave should ask questions, key questions. Does this always work, no it does not. The same for a dominant, the first two weeks of getting to know you, I have a million questions. I am reluctant to enter a relationship if the slave brings up sex to soon or wants to start sending me nude pics right off the bat. I find that to be very trashy.

All of the above, the head games, the using. Yes I am guilty , in my younger days I was about the pussy, most of the time I didn’t even see what the sub or slave looked like. I did not care, my goal was to get you naked, fuck your brains out, then lose your number. We are all guilty of that. Then at some point my eyes opened up. I needed more, I just could not go out and pick someone up.My conscious kicked in. I began to care about feelings, which is really fucked up in a lot of ways.

We as humans have changed, today it is about what can you do for me. Last month I had a slave ask me if I was going to put her in her own apartment. Get the fuck out, go find another , I do not have time for stupid ass talk, but the bad thing is someone will put her ass up.

Men and women if your into games, go play fucking bingo, find a card club, get a fucking hobby. Do not use people because you are bored, or you get to talk nasty to someone, to get your rocks off, until you get bored.

Get a fucking life.

I see this in personals all the time. I am a slave, I need to be owned, I need to be collard. I need to be used. My limits are, no anal, I do not swallow, No humiliation, I wont wear that, I will not attend public events with you. I do not like bondage. All of this shit is true. A slave really, a submissive not even close.

I do have limits very few but I do. No extreme pain. No Cutting, No children, which should be normal with anyone. No animals, although I have seen K9, just not my thing. No broken bones. No hitting out of anger, which never happens with me. I do not yell or scream at my property, there is no need. A dominant should never have a reason to raise his voice, scream or yell. If you as a dominant have these problems you need to check yourself.

It is not my intention to put more on you than you can handle. I had a slave last year tell me her new dominant gave her a list of 50 rules. I am not going to speak bad of him, but you can have to many rules and when this happens you are setting up for failure, this is devastating to the sub.

Yes there are just as many fake Subs or slaves as there are dominants.

Get a fucking life.

Image

Vile

Are Sadist Cruel And Un-Caring

Posted in abuse, Aftercare, bdsm, Bond, clit, control, controlling, Dominants, events, Fake Dominants, Friendship, hoe, Home made toys, Humiliation, Make your own Flogger, masochist, Master, Masters, Meeting, Mentor, Mind Fuck, munchs, nipple pump, Pain, references, SADOMASOCHISM, Safe Call, slave, submissive on September 24, 2012 by thekinkyworldofvile

I re-Blogged this from http://daddysnaughtylittlegirl.wordpress.com/2012/09/23/in-search-for-a-dominant-fake-fraud/

The Sadist

These guys are really scary.  They genuinely want to hurt you.  There is nothing romantic or loving about them.  They enjoy watching others suffer, both physically and emotionally, and have contempt for those around them.  They relish the humiliation of their victims and are naturally duplicitous.  Because most find sexual satisfaction in their sadism, they can disguise themselves as Dominants.

I see this as putting all Sadist in the same category, even profiling if you will. I disagree with this statement 100%.

We are all different when it comes to the lifestyle, that is why it is very important for us to find someone we are compatible with .

First of all, You can be a sadist and not be a Dominant, you can be a Dominant and not be a sadist, or you can be both. To say all Sadist are ruthless, uncaring, and they just want to hurt and humiliate you, is really a false statement.

While I do know some Sadist who are very extreme, the play is done with a masochist. It is not to say that a sadist would not meet a submissive and could cause harm, but for the most this is very untrue.

With me if you are a submissive, and not a masochist we can still play, sex probably not, I have to have a connection. If I am just in a session, I like to please. I enjoy seeing one get that high, slowly slip into sub-space. More so I enjoy the after care. After care is very important, this prevents sub-drop. After care should not just be a tool used after playing, it should be part of the everyday relationship.

If you are my slave, you are the center of my world I have stated this before. The slave always comes first, no matter what. The slave has an open line of communication.

A Masochist has needs just as a Sadist has needs. I believe in this type of relationship the Bond is so much greater, because both give so much, both can feel what the other is feeling. The trust is so much greater.

This is not to say that a bad sadist is not lurking, but the same is with a fake dominant.

I agree with TheDomNextDoor On the first meeting a slave should have a safe call, a friend she can trust. When she leaves her place and when she arrives at the dominants house, and should be allowed to make a call during the visit. He should also not mind if she takes a pic of his tag, and send it to her safe call.

You never I mean never let a dominant book a room for the first meeting. Yea Ive heard it before, we have chatted, we talked on the phone, we have so much in common, he is what Ive been looking for.

Let me tell you something, if you allow a man to book a room, more so who you have never met. Take you inside tie you down, you know what, you are fair game at this point, bound, gagged, and blindfolded. You have no idea what is going to happen. A safe call may not make a difference. If you allow this to have you are just fucking stupid.

A Dominant should be able to provide references on the spot as a matter of fact I am going to add a couple one from a dominant and one from a slave. He should not have to stop and think about this question.

I like to take a new slave to a munch, and introduce her to friends of mine. While letting her get to know others who are submissive.

Some say well I don’t like to go, I do not like the interaction , or I cannot go because of my work. These are like minded people, Blue Collar workers, white Collar workers, Doctors, Lawyers, shrinks, we come from all forms of life.

The toy thing that was brought up. I make a lot of my toys, from floggers to spreader bars. I am not going to pay 100 dollars for a pair of spreader bars when I can make the same thing for 20 dollars, ball gags, Nipple pumps, clit pumps 5.99 at wal mart. While I do have some toys I have purchased such as The Violet wand in the sum of 1200 dollars and a couple of tens units.

Sometime ago I blogged about a slave named Kim who just basically showed up at my door at 3am. I am flattered by the way that she felt the way she did. After a couple of sessions, she approached my friends wanting to know how to make me change, they just looked at her dumb founded.

Okay so I do have a heart well kinda sorta, I just did not want to say hey you got to go. We had nothing really, more so no sex, I just did not have that connection.

So here came the mind fuck I blogged about, it really dome more damage than I thought it would, that I feel kinda bad about, but in the process she tried to ruin my name. Telling others I had no control, I lost it with her I abused her. Fucking what ever..

So here we go…

Hey Man

list of conversations

Leland
Leland 49M
New Smyrna Beach, Florida
written 14 days ago:

Hey first thing, I just wanted to bring something up, it caught my attention the other day while we were talking. It was about the pain thing.
Looking through your pics, I have to say while I admire, I am not really into leaving marks, I have in the past, my first was a Masochist some 20 yrs ago, she taught me much of what I know today, a real pain slut I suppose, more into humiliation. We saw each other for about 6 or 7 yrs.
Although everything was new to me, in the beginning the humiliation was fun, but it got to be more of a job, because each time we saw each other, I had to out do the last.
Kim gave me a pretty bad rep Craig, although I do enjoy some impact play at times, I never left a bruise on her. Breast play was out because , she said they hurt to bad to even tie up.
Although I do enjoy rough sex and bondage, along with a little humiliation, I have never hurt anyone, nor would I even think of hurting another.

I have a blog it has been up for about 4 months now, with 16K in visitors and about 70 people following. Most of my blog is about safety and Submissive’s ,it does get out there sometimes but safety is first.

I was seeing a submissive for a 9 months she was married a Jehovah Witness yup thats correct.
There is a Dom who lives in Edgewater SirXcalbar on my friends list. Lyn and I went to his house one night and I allowed him to use an evil stick on her, I used it a couple of times, but it really marked up her breast. I like Calbar much respect for him,
I guess what I am trying to say man is I am not the cruel sadist that some have portrayed me to be.
Am I strict ? yes. High Protocol ? yes. Am I abusive? No.

I have met this Chinese American she goes to UCF 21, well the guilt has set in, we have dated a couple of times, she has wanted to play, but I cannot bring myself to it.
Any thoughts?

Craigash
Craigash 52M
Orlando, Florida

Leland, I think the Kim thing fucked you over. I never thought you were dangerous and I know you get off on the mind fuck. Anybody that has a question about you, I would be happy to vouch for you and never hesitate. As for this new girl, I think if you are interested then go for it and don’t hesitate because of an untrue past. You are a man in control of yourself so just follow your own rules. If she says stop then you stop but I don’t have to tell you, you know more than I do. Be yourself and go for it…you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

From a submissive really read this one..

Leland

Check this out

by Leland

A submissive called me who lives on the west coast, we have known each other for more than 5 years.. She was contacted by a dom named thebull2k2.

He wanted to meet her, told her that if he likes her she would take his seed right there she had no say in what he wanted to do.. He wanted to make her pregnant a breeder.

Really has the lifestyle come to this..

This is the submissive I have spoken about who I mentor.

First, I want to thank you Leland, for having my best interest at heart. I respect you, and your opinions a great deal. I have wrestled with posting, as this is similar to public speaking for me, but I want to clarify.
First, I did not meet this person.
Second, this Dom may be perfectly respectable, as I thought so through many of our conversations, and this could very well be a misunderstanding. The breeding part is clearly stated on his profile, and was discussed through conversation at length, where it was also made clear that I would not bring a child into this world outside of a committed, loving relationship. That was not, and still is not, what the issue was that I wanted to bounce off Leland.
Third, I believe this post was intended as a reminder for everyone to pay attention. The original meeting that was agreed to was just a ‘get to know you’ meeting. The other terms were not mentioned until a point in the conversation where I really shouldn’t have been paying much mind to what was being said. After it cooled off a bit, I then attempted to question the part that was tossed in about being taken with no time being spent building trust. It was at that point I was told it is the Dom’s choice of when and where he took a sub, that they had no choice in the matter. THIS is what my issue was, and the reason for mentioning the whole thing to Leland, for his words of wisdom. Obviously, there are as many opinions on this as there are people in the lifestyle, however, mine were made perfectly clear in this, as well as previous conversations.
I believe the point of this post was intended to remind us we do have choices. I speak to Leland about many things, including many of the absurdities, I, as a single woman here, receive on a daily basis. Most of them are laughable. Many so called “Doms” tend to use the lifestyle and the title as their right to a bootie call, and nothing more. If that is what you are here for, to each their own. However, many subs who have not yet learned to weed through these and spot the red flags get taken advantage of. Sometimes, even those of us who do know become lax, and let our guard down. I understand his frustration with this. I do think this thread could have been done a bit differently, however, I understand the point was also to remind and protect myself, and others like me, against some of the dangers of not paying attention and rushing into meetings too quickly.
A GREAT follow up would be the nearly day long lecture I had the privilege of receiving from you (Leland) on safety measures! (Typed.. here… I think I am good for a while on hearing it!)
Again, I am honored to be able to call you friend, and to have you as a sounding board, regardless of the lectures it brings me!

SirXcalbar is a very dear and close friend of mine.

Well, there are those who are fakers and use the lifestyle to attract those innocents. However, if she agreed, then that is her fetish and is probably what she seeks. However, I wold not want such an individual as she puts everyone at risk and all safety goes out the door. She does have choices and she does not appear to be very responsible and mature. She needs guidance from those who care and are true practioners and not just bootie calls. @just_jess appears to have received your message and guidance and she will continue to need it to grow safely.

I agree with the guidance SirXcalbar, as with many submissives and slaves. Many are to eager to meet, many to eager to please, just hoping someone will except them if that makes since..

So yes every Dominant should be able to prove who he is, without hesitation.

ImageA slave is very special, very strong, and should be cared for.

Vile