Archive for the Mental illness Category

She Was Tied To A Tree

Posted in Acceptance, anti depression medication, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationship Negotiations, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, commitment, communication, compatibility, Depressed, Depression, Dominant, emotional, Emotions, fucking, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Mental illness, outdoor bondage, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on April 13, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

My first real rush , I was in my early teens and Bev and I were in the same grade. I remember after a Baseball game I sat with her on the bus and fingered her until we reached the school. We never really talked to much even though I would hang out over at her house , in fact she was more like a tom boy with a body built for sin.
Bev had come from a State home and her now parents were friends with my parents. Man if they had only known she was fucking everybody in school. I posted before about the teen whore , but now as I look back it was just a cry for attention.

I imagine many who are Baby Girls , submissive and even Slave are in need of the same , in fact I believe many are starving for attention. When you go into a relationship with that need it is very easy to be misled, and more so being taking advantage of. Your emotions can fuck you up and fuck you up fast, they will make you blind, and it has to be a fucked up feeling.

You know it is weird but it is almost like I am emotionless , I mean not when it comes to Arianna or close friends , but the reality is I really do not give a fuck.
I take care of my own and I expect others to do the same. If you spend your time in others Drama it drains your soul , and you become part of their cancer. I have said before I am unforgiven , I am not sure where that part of me came from, its just how Ive always been. You can be standing right in front of me talking and I see nothing and hear nothing.

People spend more time trying to be politically correct instead of speaking their mind. Acting like you care because when they are not around they are now the topic of discussion.

Growing up my dad has these fucked up Truck stop books. The slut next door, The town whore, you get the picture. Well at my age and zero communication with my parents , how would I know any different? At that age it is hard to differentiate fiction and non-fiction. So my thoughts were , women were merely objects , toys that were meant to be used.

Bev and I were like fuck Buddies and nothing more, when were fucking she would just ask if I wanted to fuck her ass. So this type of non relationship just justified my reasoning. In many ways Bev was just like the girls in the books I had read.

Bondage Sluts was a good book , well at that time it was, but it gave me a different point of view now, a whole new world had just opened up. Now I had to experiment , I wanted to be the dude in the book , and who would be best to play out such a fantasy ? Yes Bev she would be my first experiment.

I never told her what was up , during the week I had gone to the feed store about bought some rope. Leaving the house My dad asked me what my plans were for the day and I just turned around and looked and walked out.

Once out in the woods I took immediate control and I told her to strip. Once nude I looked around for two trees and instructed her to come to me. I took one arm tied the rope around one wrist and then the other. I took my shirt off and put it over her head so she could not see me.

As I stood in front of her and I knelt down and I just gazed at her I got the rush , chill bumps just went across my whole body, and I was thinking man what power.

I got up and walked behind her and I slipped my belt of folded it in my hand and with out a word right across her ass , and she said nothing. Then again and again and again and not a word.
At this point and time it had nothing to do with getting pussy , or getting my cock sucked it was the control I had over her, it was a total rush I had never felt before.

I am almost positive this is where my journey began , and it would be some two years later I would be introduced to BDSM while stationed in Korea. Although I did learn a lot there were things that were not fully explained , and it would not be until years later that I would learn of my many mistakes.

It is way to easy to play on someones emotions , and that makes it easy to take advantage of someone. Then it did not bother me so much but today I like to sleep at night. It took me years to learn communication was the first key. and that Horrible word I always use ? Consistency. That word goes with communication.
I knew how to get into someones head , but staying there was always the problem, and I did not know the difference when someone was emotional and needy and not.
I like the challenge , even when someone does not show any real interest. I love knowing what makes a submissive or slave tick. I like to be able to get in and knock on some doors opening each and every one.

If you go deer hunting and every deer is tied to a tree what challenge is that? Sure your going to brag but I can assure you , you will leave the tied up part out.

So it is always not the Subs fault, although it does make it pretty easy to put them blame on her , but after several relationships failing you would think , hey something is wrong?

There was a time when I was going though a slight depression phase , so I did what most would do or at least what I thought should be done. I dropped everything , and regrouped. I stayed to myself I did not date because I knew in order to have a successful relationship I had to be in the right place. I also knew it would not be fair to bring someone into my mess.
I moved and I rented this awesome one room cabin on the river. You know everything was in one big room, the living room , kitchen and dinning room , an old log cabin it was really cool. I would sit on the porch and just vegetate , really not even thinking about anything. I guess I was like defogging my brain ,trying to figure out my next move. This lasted maybe a year.

Once I had gathered my thoughts and I was feeling good again I moved into a house and I put a plan into motion. I sit down and made a list of what I wanted in a slave and I began to search.

I really hate hearing other Dominants play on someones emotions or feelings. I wish I could be a better Dom , I am really trying to be a better Dom, I wish I was a better Daddy. All of those words are really Pathetic. These are the guys who prey on the gullible , the insecure, not knowing what they are doing , or have a low self esteem.
This is also where the dude gets played , because his whole life revolves around one thing and that is pussy , and he is deer hunting , but he is looking for the deer tied to a tree. He does not want someone who has goals , or is independent , or has a self esteem, he is looking for the weak.

Reversed the sub feeds on the weak , getting her way , taking advantage of the so called Dominant , while making him feel in charge by spreading on demand. Playing with depression is a very dangerous game.

Okay yea there is medication , you can feel better , but the medication keeps you in check. Most who suffer from serious depression have daily routines , thus having structure in their life. If you add or take away from their daily routine you throw everything off balance , and it does not matter what type of meds your on it fucks everything up. Male or female to fuck with someones emotions when they suffer from depression can be a deadly game.

It was not long ago I had Arianna bound. I love the plastic wrapping you get from uhaul. You can wrap the entire body and they cannot move or get lose. I have a black leather hood I love using. Arianna was laying on the bed all wrapped up with the hood on, and I knelt and the same rush came over me. I was just thinking man what control.
I had every hole exposed to me and I could do basically anything I wanted , but that is not what I wanted I just wanted to admire. Admire my slave, my property , and my wife.

I love the Rush

rush

Vile

Sub-Drop

Posted in 24/7, abuse, Aftercare, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Safety, BDSM Session, Beatings, Bipolar, blindfold, Bondage, cage, Cherish, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Conversation, Depression, Dominants, Fear, Humiliation, masochist, Master, Masters, Mental illness, Pain, positive reinforcement, Praise, Safe, Safe and Sane, Scared, session, slave, Stressed, Sub Drop, submissive on July 17, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Sub-drop is something that has to be dealt with right after a session, or rough play. I firmly believe that sub-drop can be prevented with the right care.  While some may disagree I am speaking from over 20 years of experience in the lifestyle. I am not some dude who got out of bed Friday and said I am a Dom on your knees bitch.

You spend a couple of hours in a session, playing rough, not making love but just raw, sweaty hard fucking. Last weekend Arianna and I spent about 3 hours in play from being bound in the cage, tied to the bed spread eagle, blindfolded not knowing what was going on, not a clue. I cannot even imagine that feeling. Being able to hear but you cannot see.

I love using sexually, it is like mini golf I want to play all three holes and then start over. Sometimes I don’t even want to cum because I don’t want to lose that feeling.

I love face fucking, to me face fucking making her gag is one of the most humiliating things a man can do to a woman. I love feeling the throat muscles wrap around my cock feeling that gagging sensation. WOW.

Sub-Drop there are a couple of different definitions. one being, Physical Sub Drop the other being Mental

Physical Sub-Drop during a hard play session where a lot of impact play is going on, your body see’s this as more of a trauma. So naturally the body goes into the defense mode, pulling most of the blood to the to the torso area to protect the organs, yes think about this for a second, your mind is one place, but your body is in another.  While you are enjoying the play your body is going what the fuck.

Then comes the Mental part of Sub-Drop Mental Sub-Drop is much harder to see, It varies in such a great degree from person to person but usually takes the forms of guilt, anxiety,depression, and or agitation. This can happen right after a session or it can take up to several days for Sub-Drop to kick in.

There are several things we have to look at before any type of hard play. Things should be talked about like types of medications they are taking, mind altering , for depression or any other mental illness. If someone is suffering from Bi-polar then you have to adjust your play and not push to far.  If the Dominant does not know the submissive inside out there are things that should be considered. It is up to the Dominant to look out for the Submissive, we are to insure their safety.

Normally after a session the submissive has a feeling of being relaxed, not caring, very much at home feeling, and very tired the submissive will be mentally drained. Let them rest take a nice hot bath, bath them talk to them.

Aftercare is very important, if you just spent an hour beating a submissive and you untie and just walk away then you are not a good Dominant, I use the word beating loosely by the way.

While it is true after a session some do want to be left alone for a while so their mind can process everything that just happened. During a session you should be in constant communication with the Submissive insuring they are in fact okay. Again you the Dominant are responsible for their safety.

Give them some time alone if they need, let them curl up in a ball and process everything, even take a nap.

After you should step in, hold and pet, talk to about everything that happened. Praise the Submissive for doing so well. Talk about any limits that were tested or pushed.

Even if there was no real impact play , and everything was mainly mental the impact on the body can still be devastating.

That is why I myself believe Aftercare should be Proactive, and not just used after play, more so if the submissive is a masochist.

Certain medications and hard impact play do not go well together. If your submissive suffers from any type of depression and is taking mind altering drugs then there must be communication. You as the Dominant may decide there is a better approach to playing or you may decide not to play at all. Again we are to look out for ours.

I am going to pass on a link that I think everyone should read and maybe it will explain a little more about your feelings after play.

http://subshelpingsubs.tripod.com/articles/subdrop.html

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Much Love

Vile