Archive for the mistakes Category

When I Was A Daddy Dom

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Arianna, Baby Girl, bdsm, BDSM Collar, Change, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, consistent, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Daddy Doms, Divorce, Dominant, fuck hole, fuck meat, fucking, hoe, Humiliation, Humiliation Training, kinkster, kinky, Loyal, Manipulation, masochist, Master And Slave, Mentor, mistakes, Pain Slut, punish, Punishment, pussy, Rough Sex, Rules, sadist, SADOMASOCHISM, session, slave, slut, Structure, Submission, submissive, Submissive being used with tags , , , on July 13, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I actually met Bea online about 6 months before my life pretty much fell apart, we did not meet in person until about a month before I moved out.

I had already confessed to my then wife who I was and what my needs were. I also knew there was no turning back I had already reveled way to much information.
Then came the divorce, I had stayed at the house because of guilt, but the day the divorce was final, out the door I walked.
I let behind my 1976 Fiat Spider,my 1955 chevy that I had before we married, but the judge felt she needed it, and the 160.000 dollars we had in the bank account.
I left with a duffel bag and my Yamaha 750 Seca. It had about 77.000 miles on it, and I had about 1600 dollars on me.
Bea and I had met at an apartment I was going to rent. It was beach side in Daytona Beach. A nice 4 unit building, 2 upstairs and 2 down stairs. I opted for the top floor.
Two weeks later bea moved in as my submissive. It was some 6 months later I collared her. We had drove up to St Augustine for sunrise and I collared her by the old Spanish fort.

At that time I was going through some serious changes in life, I still had a huge guilty feeling concerning the Divorce. I had a young son as well, but instead of the 85.00 a week I was suppose to pay in child support, I paid 600 a month sometimes up to a 1000.00 dollars.

During this time I decided to drive a cab locally, who would of thought you could make a 1000.00 dollars a week driving a cab. I also drove a limo as well kinda like an on call thing.
Bea was working part time at a day care but wanted to be a teacher. So I set that as a goal. During our relationship I set many goals for her, because I wanted her to succeed in life, I also knew being her first daddy it would not last.
It is not to often the Baby Girl stays with their first Daddy and I knew that. I was 37 and Bea Had not been 18 very long, yea I was robbing the cradle. Her mom and dad came unglued. It was not very pretty at all, but they more less wanted her out of their hair anyway.

Bea was a cutter, she was a bad cutter, she could no longer wear short sleeves or shorts that were very short. There were times she would just cry for no reason.

I walked in the bedroom to let Bea know dinner was ready and when I walked in she was cutting herself. I just looked and said when your done , dinner is ready. That is all I said and nothing more.

Our relationship continued to grow, now Bea was about 5’2 a little chunky, she had the palest skin I had ever seen, Dark black eyes, and black hair that went to her ass, she was really beautiful.

As we continued to grow our communication also grew, and the more we communicated, the more she was able to release.

Now I was going through a lot of changes, prior to getting Married I was a full blow sadist, Sherri was my first slave. I had grown cold, no feelings and I cared about no one even Sherri. Cherri was just a target, nothing more. The whole time we were together for what ever reason I never fucked her, not one time. There was either something about her, or I did not want to become that emotionally close.
She loved being fisted, once my hand was in I would just pound that bitch, fucking her with my arm as hard as I could. I would have her tied down spread eagle on the bed, spanking her pussy with my hand, I would use a belt, and just spank and spank until it was so swollen, it almost looked deformed.

At first I got off on the humiliation, I got off on inflicting pain, I got off on seeing the pain in her eyes, but it soon became a burden, because each session I had to out do the last.

Before getting married I was jumping from one slut to another, but now I was fucking.
Yahoo profiles that was the shit. I could log on and have a date in an hour. I was upfront as well, you are just fuck meat and nothing more. Today or the next couple of days you are my whore.

So I was going through an adjustment, I met an older Dominant his name was Animel, yup that is his real name. He looked like a pissed off Santa Clause, I stayed by his side day in and day out. My mind could not take in enough information. To this day I consider him a mentor, we are not as close as we once were, but he is still here..

Six months into our relationship Bea has just gotten out of the bath, and walked into the living room , and kneel and said Master I want you to have this I do not need it any longer, and she handed me her razor. I took it from her and I said good girl, and I held her for what seemed like hours.

I had to teach her how to cook, she could not boil water, but that was really no task because I love to cook.
At night most of the time I would bath her, and wash her hair, once out we went to the bedroom and I would put lotion on her.

She followed rules and protocols without question. I do believe I was somewhat stricter then than I am now. Once she was home she had a collar and leash she would put on, the chain ran through the whole apartment.

This was about the time I was starting up my internet cigar Business, which was really doing very well. It was almost to the point I was not going to have to work any longer.

I remember one day we walked into a golf store I was seeing about putting cigars in his store, and Bea had stopped at the door and just stood there with her hands in front of her. The clerk asked me what she was doing and I said just what she is suppose to, we are talking, she has nothing to do with this. When I walked out, Bea was two steps behind me.

Bea wanted to lose weight, not that she really needed to, so everyday we would walk 3 miles, down A1A and back, in the evening just as the sun was setting.
It was almost our 5th year together and Bea enrolled in UCF She wanted to become a teacher, she had really come a long way, and I supported her in everything she wanted to do.
After all that is what Daddy’s do, we want our girls to grow, we encourage growth.

It was really amazon because going on 5.5 years and we had not yet had an argument.This was due to us being so open, and the communication we had, but I also had a tight leash on her as well.
I allowed her to have friends in and out of the lifestyle, and once a month she was allowed to have a girls night out..

I came home one evening and Her demeanor was different she was more girly , although she was wearing her collar and chain.
As I started dinner because I did 90% of the cooking she started talking about how her feelings had changed, how she had been talking to other girls about their daddy’s.
I was not sure where all of this was going, but after dinner I helped her with her homework, and once we were ready for bed. She went to the bathroom and came back in and she kneeled and ask for permission to enter the bed, she handed me a bottle , a baby bottle, and she asked me if I would feed her, I was stumped at first but I said sure.
This was the transition from Dominant and submissive to Daddy and baby girl.
If it had been anyone else I do not believe I would of went through such a transition.

To date she had only been punished twice, she walked a straight line, and was very proper inside and out. Friends who would come over always made a comment about how good of a host she was.

Something happened though, and I started to let my feelings get in the way. I no longer wanted to tell her what to do, or what to wear, or what to take out for dinner. I stopped enforcing rules, I let protocols slide.

Once I realized what had happened , I tried to regain control but it was way to late, we even had long conversations about what was going on, because we could feel both of us falling apart.
Once you lose control, there is no way to get it back. Because a different side of you has been seen, that is something a submissive or slave, and baby girl will not forget.

Then I got sick , I got bad sick , one morning I got up and I was in the bathroom choking and I coughed uo this black stuff which was dead blood. so I grabbed my blackberry and I dialed 911. That was the last thing I remember. Seven days later I woke and I was in ICU I had 6 bleeding ulcers, and by this time 3 blood transfusions.

Bea would come and visit me everyday , except for the last week I was in. I spent 31 days in the hospital. On the day I was released I called and all I got was voice mail.
I actually called an escort service because I had to have someone sign me out. I did not have my cell phone so I had no one to call. This hooker looking bitch came up and asked for me, and off I went.
A cab waiting down stairs, I paid the girl a 100 bucks and I fell in the front seat.
Once home the cab driver whom I knew had to help me up the stairs, because I was to weak to walk.
He unlocked the door and when it opened everything was gone. no couch, no TV, no dishes, no bed nothing.

I was not mad or upset, because I knew why she left the way she did, but she took the fucking bed.

It was some 6 months before I was back to normal. My landlord and his wife would bring food over daily.
They furnished the apartment for me. It was some three weeks before I was able to go back to work, and then I was only able to work 4 or 5 hrs a day.

My website had been shut down, well my merchant shut it down , during the month of December I had over 10.000 dollars in charge backs. Shrugs

Today life is good I am in a good place. We all learn from our mistakes. The only bad mistake is the mistake you repeat.

protocols

slaveleash1

Vile

It Is Not Always The Dominant’s Fault

Posted in abuse, Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, Arianna, bdsm, Consensual, consistent, Daddy, Daddy Dom, Dating, Dominant, Face Fucking, Fake Dominants, Lie, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, Meeting your new Dom/Master, micromanage, Micromanagement, mistakes, morals, Patience, Protocol, references, relationships, Safe, Safe and Sane, sex, slave, Slave no rights, Submission, submissive, sucking cock on March 2, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

A year and a half I have been ragging on other Dominants because of abuse. The fake Dominants who lurk in the shadows waiting for the perfect prey to come along.

Even those who are Submissive or a Slave has said well this Dom is a fake that Dom is a fake, but that is not always the case. There are those few times the submissive has just read someone wrong.

When you first meet a Dom, or a Daddy, maybe a Master, they all have a series of questions they ask you. When a question is asked they want a straight forward answer. They want the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. When asked questions you give a direct answer, and sometimes it is good to add if you see the need, or you want the conversation to take a different avenue.

If your asked a question or he makes a statement and you agree, you have just started digging yourself a hole, and unless you do something to correct it, your hole will continue to get deeper, because this is your train of thought.

When you speak about limits stand firm on your hard limits. Do you like anal sex ? No I do not that is a hard limit. If you do not like Anal sex say so? Do you enjoy pain ? No Pain is a very hard limits.  If pain is truly a hard limit say so. Do not say something that may have a bad outcome if you choose to enter such a relationship.

This is Vile.

Why do you want to be a Slave. I am looking right in her eyes waiting for a reply. I also want full eye contact.

When did you first become interested in the lifestyle ? Wait for answer.

How many Doms or Masters have you been with and what happened ? May I contact them ? And I have contacted other Masters.

How do you see yourself in an M’s relationship on a daily basis ?

The Slave What are my rules ? Vile I do not know as of yet I do not know you well enough to give or enforce any rules..

Vile

Before we go any further let me explain who I am. I am looking for a slave with little to no limits. I am looking for a slave who wants to be completely owned.  Sex is when I want and need, you have three holes and I plan to use all of them is that understood ? If the answer is no to anyone of those the conversation is over because I Vile will not bend.

You will follow my rules once I know you well enough to start implementing them is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes, looking at me in the eyes.

You will follow my protocols to a T without question,  is that understood ? What are your protocols ? I then say I am simple I have three that will be followed 1 2 3 I may add more as I see fit.

Vile

I do not share, you must remain loyal at all times is that understood ? Again the answer must be yes.

Are you into pain ? The Slave no I am not, good because I am not either. If her answer would of been yes that would of ended the conversation. Why ? Because that was something I could no provide her.

Vile

What are your needs ? What is it you need to be a slave on a daily basis ?  Very important questions there, again you must give a straight answer. You should already have every answer in your head by the time you meet someone. You should have a fucking list a mile long.

Vile

I am going to go one more step. In my home there has to be a bitch, you would be my slave, I would owne you without question, you are to follow. You do not have the right to question me and the word no never comes out of your mouth, unless.

There is an unless and a exception to the rule. If the submissive or slave sees their owner is making a mistake and it will effect the house, then they have the right to question, and they have the right to know what is going to be done to fix the problem.

Vile

Have you understood everything ? Did I leave anything out ? Do I need to cover anything I said again?

It is very important for the Dominant to be very clear when he is explaining his need, his rules and protocols. It should be explained in such a manner that he leaves no rock un-turned.

Vile

Do you have any questions or comments, or something you would like to share?

Answer I need all of the above, but I need to be micromanaged . WHoa , she just through in a wrench into my thinking process, that was something I was not expecting, so now my brain has just hit Mach one.

Vile

Micromanaged as in ? I want you to completely run my life, including my daily task, what I eat, when I sleep, when I shower, what I wear, everything.

Vile

Well um hmmm let me think. This was something that caught me totally off guard.

See now the Slave has the upper hand, the slave is now in control of the conversation.

Vile

That is something I am going to have to think about. I did not give a reason, I did not have to.

Vile

So if I agree to your terms and you agree to mine, your thinking maybe we should try to move forward is that correct ?

If I had agreed to her terms right then and there I would of been stuck, or played the micromanage part until I felt like I had enough control so I could back off.

I had to think about that part for a day. That would be taking a very large step. Before I could commit I had to come up with a plan, I even tried consulting with or Dominants, and their answer was man fuck that shit.

I however felt we had enough in common that I just might be up for such a task.

Everybody is not going to have the same questions, or the same needs, but you get the idea.

If you give the Dom a false answer or your just saying yes to please, you are like the Titanic you will sink and you will sink fast, and there are no life boats.

Sex is not the main road in a relationship, but if someone answered no to anyone of mine, the conversation was over, done. In the past I had giving in and it did not last. Why ? Because I was not upfront and I lied.

Be prepared, ask questions, do not be afraid to say I will not or afraid to use the word no. If the Dominant gets up and walks out, then it was not meant to be.

That goes the same with the Submissive or Slave, you to should get up and walk out. Kick the dirt and move on

It is not always the Dominants fault.

If a Dominant tells you when you are meeting with him, and he says your not allowed to have any eye contact. Tell him to go fuck himself. He does not have that right. If you agree you are already submitting , at this point that is not where you want to be.

Image

Vile

I Own You

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, Collar, Consensual, control, Dominants, Love, married, Master, Master & Slave, Master And Slave, mistakes, No Rights, owning a slave, Protocol, Punishment, Respect, Rules, slave, Slave no rights, Structure, Submission, The perfect Slave, TPE, Vile on January 22, 2014 by thekinkyworldofvile

I am not Master alone you call me Master out of respect. You are not a Slave alone, I call you my own. You are mine you have chosen to give yourself fully without question. Upon my return you kneel with great pride and respect. You kneel because you have the need.

I am Master because you are my Slave, without a Slave I am but only a Dominant man. I was a Dominant man in search of a partner who would complete the man I am, the man I needed to be.

I was lost, I was not complete , I searched for the one , I searched for the one who would fill that empty void, the empty feeling deep inside.

You were a lost Submissive who was seeking much more, you were lost in every sense, you were confused, and no where to turn. Then you were guided to me.

June 15th 2013 you married me as the sun rose standing on the beach, you excepted my ring of love, and the gift of my collar, and I thank you for both.

Owning you comes with great responsibility now I must look out for two. The mistakes I make now effects both and not just one.  I now must take the steps to improve our lives in the home and out. I must take great care when making decisions. I must do what is right for both Master and Slave.

You have giving yourself without question, and I see daily how proud you are to wear your collar, public or private. You are a Slave and you walk with great pride.

Your collar is locked just like our love for each other. Our love and respect for each other will continue to grow, our M’s relationship will continue to grow.

I feel everyday we are as one, while we are apart I feel as if something is missing from deep inside. It is only replaced once I am home and I hold you, only then do I feel complete.

I own you Arianna, and I do so with great pride, and Honor. When I walk through the door and you are kneeling I look and I am thinking there is my wife, my slave my property. I own you. You as a Slave have adapted to my way, you follow without question.  You are my Slave. You have giving up all rights, you are now able to be free. I own you.

You follow my rules with a great need and passion, you follow my protocols without question, you have excepted punishment without question. You have giving yourself to me. You are my Slave

Image Vile & Arianna

We All Make Mistakes

Posted in bdsm, life, mistakes on December 22, 2013 by thekinkyworldofvile

Okay so this is my next post but it is not the one I was speaking about. This is not directed towards anyone. I wake up with things on my mind and I feel like I should share at time.

We are human , we all make mistakes, we all make bad judgement calls.  Some continue to make mistakes until we get slapped in the face by what is called reality. Then and only then if we learn from our past and we do everything we can to correct it, and we work to stay on the right path, then all the mistakes we made was well worth it.

Sometimes it takes us years to find ourselves making mistakes along the way, or we may just have to get our kinks out of our system.

If in a relationship and we make mistakes, if we come clean and admit our faults or mistakes and do everything we can to correct what we have done, then we have learned from our past.

We have to be who we are, we have to live our own life, we have to be happy.

Just some of my thoughts.

Vile