Archive for the molding your slave Category

The Stepford Wives / BDSM

Posted in bdsm, BDSM Relationships, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, The Stepford Wives with tags , , , on May 6, 2018 by thekinkyworldofvile

In the beginning I thought I knew what I wanted or so I thought , I was submission but was not sure how to obtain without giving orders and making demands , I wanted kinky sex but was unsure what it would take to make me happy. It seemed with each relationship I was lacking something but I could not put my finger on it. I was jumping from one relationship to another not finding that happy medium.

Imagine having the perfect mate , the perfect submissive , the perfect slave , sounds really far fetched doesn’t it ? The truth there is such a thing and you can change someones way of thinking , you can change habits. You can change the way someone walks, talks and sits even how and what they eat , how they speak to someone in public or not speak. Now the downside to all of what I have mentioned it take work from the Dominant , it takes effort but most of all it takes the need not a want but a need.

There are Dominants who want none of the above , they are the do it now Dom’s. Do as I say not as I do here is a task do it , no rules , no structure or protocols just do it and many who are submissive are happy with this kind of relationship and if it works for you have at it.

Then we move to the Fifty Shades of Grey frenzy which has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. The movies are based on kinky sex by a man who suffers from depression who happens to be a billionaire but if the guy worked at McDonald’s and lived in a trailer he would be a creep.  We all love kinky sex and those who do not think about it which is really cool because it will always be a thought in the back of their mind , but fifty shades has nothing to do with the lifestyle although the dungeon was really nice..

In 1975 I saw the movie The Stepford Wives which came out in 1972 I believe , I was at the young age of 14 and already had kinky stuff going on in my mind and just a year before had tied up my first girl to two trees in the woods. Watching the movie I thought why cant my home be like this thinking of my parents who always seemed to be fighting. I thought what a perfect fucking world if every woman acted the same way as they did in the movie. Now today it is far fetched because what they were creating was fake but in real life without creating some kind of robot it is possible.

I have talked about Behavior Modification before , that has been a interest for some years but it does take some time to perfect.  The other side of the coin you will need a submissive who is willing to turn over that much control. Consensual enslavement everything must be consensual or you have the stepford wives all fake with no emotions or cares just going through the motions. That is not true submission and you control absolutely nothing. If fake is okay with you then have at it but when you have someone who is willing to give and serve the rewards are far greater.

Know what you want and why you want it , this is very important. Have a plan in place but most of all you need to know the submissive inside and out. Her likes and dislikes , food , music , movies , hobbies , and yes even her favorite color. Getting into her mind knowing why she thinks the way she does , why she makes the decisions she does. Getting to know her so well you almost know what she is going to say before she speaks.  Yeah it sounds like a lot and it is a lot of work but the rewards will be far greater. Making her your number one priority and she has to know this. She must have access to you 24.7 of course this is before you move in together should this be your goal. If you cannot reach out and touch her it is nearly impossible to control her actions or her thoughts.

Lets take sex out for now , although sex does play a role in the relationship this should not be your main goal again it is the rewards you are looking for.

Then the interview forget about limits because down the road the limit she has will no longer be limits. Why is she a submissive or slave ? What gives her these feelings ? Why does she need a dominant in her life? What kind of problems does she have even financial ? Are there any medical problems , medications you should be worried about.

You do not want to be the white knight to the rescue , you do not want to fix anything , if you do once everything is fixed you will get dumped. You can give advice and if she follows through and takes care of things then you can think about moving forward with the relationship.

Is she willing to adapt , adapt is a huge word , is she willing to adapt to your way of life ? Is the slave or submissive willing to give up complete control of their life ? To follow , learn and Obey ?

I put sex on the back burner because you cannot make sex a priority in your M’s relationship , there are many more goals that must be achieved before hand. Getting caught up in sex can throw a wrench in the gears because you can let your emotions get in the way of your training. This is of course after the two of you have worked out all of the details when it comes to limits.

Yea this seems way out there but it is the truth you can have everything and then some but it does take some effort on your part.

Now to the sex , the nitty gritty , with a name like the kinky world you would think I would be talking about fucking and sucking all the time, yea I agree but I have calmed down a little in my later years , not the way I think because I have grown more kinky in my mind , darker thoughts , more creative but sometimes thoughts are better left as thoughts. As the trust and connection grows limits will slowly slip away , that is within reason. I mean think about it , you can teach someone to suck your dick the way you like or how to fuck , how to lay , what to say while fucking her , the training on that end is endless.

Get in the mind and you own the body , and with the body comes anything you want short of seriously hurting someone. You own the mind you can get anything you want , when you want it and how you want it , but as with anything nothing is free. Many hours of training and the training never ends it continues on a daily basis and at times you have to change things up.

Have a vision and create it

Vile

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Power Of Slave Training

Posted in 24/7, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM 24/7, BDSM Relationships, Dominant and Submissive, Face Fucking, fetlife, Master And Slave, molding your slave, owned property, sex slave, Slave, Submission, Submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, viledesires62@aol.com with tags , , , , , , , on June 26, 2017 by thekinkyworldofvile

Training has to be a need , not a want, if it is just a want it has no meaning. One day a week or so ago Arianna made the comment about the Topic Brainwashing , other topics have been Hypnosis. Both topics were really no surprise as she spends a good deal of time looking for other ways to offer her submission even more than she does now, she continues looking for ways to give up more control.

A TPE relationship or Total Power Exchange is not a easy task and even more so if it is a micromanaged but as time goes on it becomes less of a task and more of a way of life. Generally it takes both about 90 days to get their feet in the ground and well adjusted.

So lets set sex to the side for now and concentrate on the building of a lasting relationship. In the past sex was hard to put on the back burner. Putting sex on the back burner is very important and it is a need in order to build a successful D’s Or M’s relationship.

Training is a need and not a want , I mean the type of need that keeps you awake at night, the need to please someone , the need to give up control. If your needs are met then there are no wants..

Your body and mind belongs to someone else, you are told how to do your hair, the color, nails and how do dress. Sex will be new as well , your told how to suck dick , how to fuck, you become a toy.

Arianna and I spoke at our local munch this past week on the building a TPE , Total power exchange relationship. We love sharing our story on how we met , how we started and how we grew and today we continue to grow.

Sitting back and watching the transformation , the changes not so much at first but then you can see almost on a daily basis. The Slave however in most cases are not fully aware of any changes at all.

Starting out taking small privileges away , things that are cherished such as being able to sit on furniture, being able to sit at the dinner table and sitting on the floor next to you. Giving direct times to shower , using the bathroom asking permission to do anything. The forming of habits it very important , again being consistent on a daily basis , even hourly.

I prefer keeping my property nude while at home , no clothes unless I give the word. This bring on a more humble feeling , the feeling of being exposed. At times depending on the company who comes over determines if I allow clothes or not. Putting restrictions in place on when and where the Slave can sit and permission must be giving before any type of action.

Everything is earned nothing is giving , there are goals put in place and goals must be reached before moving on to the next level of training. Reaching goals there are small rewards, small privileges are giving. What ever is giving depends on your dynamic , your agreement in your relationship after all each is different.

If you the Dominant are going to put rules in place , protocols you have the responsibility to explain everything in full detail so the Slave understands what you are saying. The Slave should be able to ask for clarification if there are still unanswered questions.

Training a Slave or Submissive cannot begin until you know either inside out, you cannot impose any rules without fully knowing the needs.

The Slave is not your mother , the Slave is not your grandmother , if you want a mommy figure then move back home. I pickup behind myself , there are some days I cook and I will explain why.

We expect so much from our property , and you can get to a point to where there is a breaking point , so we as Dominants have to take up some of the load. Every Slave needs down time, a time to relax , clear their head. Get out for the day , see friends or family , go to a movie doing something giving the mind a chance to relax. This also allows down time for the Dominant, because not only do we work but we take care of the home as well. I myself need that time alone just as a Slave does, I need that time to clear my head.

Accountability is huge , there is a lot of meaning behind that word. The Slave has to know they are held accountable for their actions. The Slave has to know there are consequences. The Slave has to know the privileges giving can be taken away at any time. If you are going to punish then punish , you cant bark like a wolf and never attack. Say what you mean and do what you mean and if your going to punish explain in detail why and what punishment you are going to use. However you cannot sit around and watch hoping something is going to go wrong you are setting the Slave up for failure.

Rules are meant for improvement , rules are meant to be followed however I prefer protocols over rules. If enough realistic protocols are in place then very few rules are needed.

Using the Slave , and this has worked for me over the years but more so while in my relationship with Arianna. In the beginning stages of our relationship I made it clear sex was all about me. If she was allowed to cum it was earned and no I was not using Orgasm control, again its about me. The slave gives her self , and giving I mean fully.

You the Dominant when entering a relationship make your needs known upfront, lay everything out on the table, be clear and make sure the Slave understanding. If the Slave states one of your needs is off limits then sit down and talk. At this point you cannot be making any type of demands. If the two of you cannot come to an agreement then you move on. Just as the Slave is looking for the right owner , the Owner is looking for the right Slave.

Watching fifty shades of grey almost made me sick, although the movie is credited to bringing more men and women alive and opening their eyes , and I am sure it has helped some relationships in the bedroom.

The first movie while negotiating their contract Mr Grey gave in to almost all of his needs, the word is need. The second movie when begging for her to come back he got down on his knee almost begging. This showed how weak he was , I was really disappointed.

While the movie was based on being submissive during sex , there was absolutely nothing in the movie about a Dominant or Submissive on how they live on a daily bases, there was no structure , thus having no meaning. The Movie had nothing to do with Master and Slave. To some men the movie was a open door to abuse, some men think all women think that way and that is just not true.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2015/02/23/college-student-accused-of-rape-claims-he-was-reenacting-50-shades-of-grey/?utm_term=.93211a13bf53

It is really fucked up how some people think, its fucked up how those who call themselves Dominants and see submission as a form of weakness.

Back to using , once you have agreed to enter a relationship and the terms are made clear you are ready to begin. I find the words making love very hard to use, It is seldom I can even get off in that frame of mind. I have the mindset I am using my property , I am using my property for my pleasure, I am using my property so I can get off. At times I am extremely rough and at times not so much. I love getting my cock sucked , there is not a better feeling and while I try to be somewhat gentle yea it does not end up as such.  I use the term face fucking, I love that gagging feeling , feeling the muscles grabbing my cock. I love anal sex at times I use lube then there are times I go straight from the mouth to the ass or from the pussy to the as. I love ass to mouth, which makes me wonder if banks know what ATM really means. The word again is use , you use your property.

This is something I shared on Fetlife.

I am not into the pain , I am not into humiliation although at times I do believe it is necessary .
I am not into abuse of any kind , be it physical , mental , or verbal.

My slave and I just celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and I cannot begin to explain how blessed I am .

On our wedding day we also had a collaring ceremony and to this day my slaves collar has never been off.

I am into a well structured home , I am into a drama free home, I am into a problem free home.

I run a very strict home , rules are followed , I have strict protocols in place both are followed without question.

I am into communication I set time aside on a daily basis.
There are no cell phones allowed during any meal public or private.

My slave comes first without question.

To this day we have yet to have a single argument, this is something I take pride in.

I just wanted to say thank you Arianna

I crave the control , I crave the structure , I crave the drama free life , I crave the problem free life, I am living the dream.

I dont want passwords  to accounts that is just fucking childish , if I cant trust you I dont need you. I am far from insecure, however I will take the phone or pad and go through when I feel like it. I think in 4.5 years ive going through Ariannas phone and pad maybe 5 times , Lynn now our third once.  There is a huge difference in being in control and being controlling.

Find your space , find your needs , and find someone who shares the same interest you have..

Predators Are Alive And Well

Posted in Anger Issues, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, control, Dominant and Submissive, Fake Dominants, Fake Slaves, https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/02/10/life/, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, relationships, Slave, Submission, submissive on February 1, 2016 by thekinkyworldofvile

Predators come in many faces , Predators are all around us , Predators are people we know and don’t know and from time to time we get a little surprise.

I never mention any names unless I do not like you and to tell you the truth there are very few who I call my friend.

While we should not judge anyone for their actions mainly when it comes to the lifestyle , because as we know each relationship is different.

Predators come in all sizes , shapes colors , male and female. The female I call the black widow, the leech , the succubus. These women seek out men who they think are weak. While it may be true some men may not be week , but maybe experiencing a vulnerable moment in life. These women will drain a Texas oil well  and walk away like nothing happened, and move on to the next victim….. These women very seldom give up the pussy and only do so if they feel they are losing control.

At a younger age I was played a few times until I figured out the game, then I was like wow here we go, lets get ready to rumble…. Interesting mind fucking the mind fucker.

The male predator they see submission as a weakness , they prey on those who are having problems in their life, those who are a emotional mind wreck. These guys pretend to give a fuck while undressing you with their eyes, or wondering how well you suck cock or if you take it up the ass. These guys want the slut but not the responsibility.

In these situations you find yourself doing things you would not normally do. Perform on webcam , or send nude pictures daily, phone sex, wearing slutty clothes in public. You feel awkward but you go along with it because you believe this is the way.

So the predators are not just men there are some wicked women lurking , looking for their next dollar.

I get emails all the time from women who are caught up with these so called married Doms who are cheating on their wives. Well this is no Dom because he cannot even run his own house. What he is looking for is a cock sucker or someone who will take it up the ass. These men see those who are submissive as being weak and worthless, and you spend more time waiting on an email or a text than you actually spend with him, and when you do get a little time your sucking dick.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting after that your a secret and nothing more. You hear promises that things will get better and how he plans on leaving his wife. I would hope you would not believe that story…

Your training consist of sucking cock being on your back , being humiliated on a regular basis, and taking pain you really have no interest in.

Then the guy who spends his life thinking with his dick. Arianna laughs when she is on Fetlife and sees a Dom and his Avatar is his cock because she knows this is the way he is, his dick runs his life.

On Fetlife if you look to the left at the interest this will tell you a lot about the individual. You can take a peak into his mind and see exactly what he is looking for in a relationship.

These are the guys who also play a game , on the hunt for pussy and head and nothing more. I know a Dom near me who goes through several women a month, playing on their submission.

The abuse often it can start and the submissive is clueless and does not see it until it is to late.

While at a function a couple drove a couple of hours to meet Arianna and I. We were excited to see her and her new Dom, but as we were talking he was saying how he was not going to allow her to go to munchs , or submissive round table’s  as he does not attend local meetings mainly because he is not welcome. This is where the isolation starts , but shortly after leaving she sent Arianna a text saying she was not going to stay with the Dom.

The isolation begins to keep you from other people in the lifestyle , this is so your Dom is the only one you are getting information from. You give all of your passwords to him as well so he can monitor your every move.

Then comes the name calling telling you how stupid you are, how worthless you are and you were nothing before you met him….

This is to humiliate you but it is meant to eat away at your self esteem , to make you feel lower, and take away any self confidence you may of had. This moves you into a position where you feel all alone, now your at his beck and call , most of the time waiting hours days or even weeks before hearing from him.

The only time your out in public is on your first meeting , unless your dumb enough to just show up at his place or a motel not knowing anything about him.

When you do see him you spend about 5 minutes talking and the rest of the time sucking dick.

If your not able to think straight or rational you have no business looking for a relationship in the lifestyle.

At times I get emails asking for advice and when it is not what they want to hear I never hear back from them , go figure.

The mistakes you make are decisions you make , and you know from the start what your thinking… You also know from the start if things are not right…

It is not easy trying to weed through the fakes but you can tell if someone is truly interested in you. You can tell if someone wants to get to know you as a person.

 

 

Your Slave Is Your Property

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, abuse, Acceptance, adapting, Adrenaline, are you submissive, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave, BDSM Slave training, BDSM TPE Relationships, commitment, communication, compatibility, CONSENSUAL NON-CONSENT, Consistency, Daddy Doms, Dominants, Master And Slave, molding your slave, Punishment, slave, Submission, submissive, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 27, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

Your Slave is not your maid , your slave is not your mommy, your slave is not your punching bag when you lose your temper.

This includes those who are submissive, Baby Girls , what ever you define yourself in the lifestyle, you should not be part of the above.

Those Dominants , those Daddy Dom’s and Masters who show the above behavior are very short lived, some learn from mistakes but most do not.

Much of my blog has been about abuse , I suppose it stems from having a soft spot when it comes to abuse when women are involved.  What I have learned though in the last three years is no one listens, I am of course speaking of those who are baby girls, those who are submissive, and even slaves. I will say the only ones who do not listen are those who are new to the lifestyle, those who are fresh meat, less than a year maybe two.

At times I share my personal email , I want to help , I thrive in that role.I love picking those up in need and showing them the right way, but what is most important is I never ask for anything in return. It is unfortunate most want you to fix everything without putting any effort into the cause. Most want everything handed on a silver platter and walk off into the sunset dusting their hands off acting like it was them who handled everything. Shrugs it is what it is.

I receive emails asking for advice , and after the first email I never hear anything back because it was not what they wanted to hear. Again it is what it is.

So I am going to be moving in a different direction for the most , moving away from the advice and the abuse blog , because every blog in that direction is time spent I will never get back. You guide those who truly want it , but you cannot fix stupid.

Most people are not really into the BDSM lifestyle , I think most fall under Kink and they want to be associated with the term BDSM , maybe it gives some type of validation. I would like to remind some that these are the same people telling those who do live the lifestyle they are wrong.

What if things were different ? What if three thousand years ago there were 12 Dominants and one Master who walked the earth teaching BDSM ? What if these 12 men wrote a BDSM Bible ? How would things be different today ? How different would our lives be ?

There are thousands of books that focus on BDSM relationships , while some of these books are good, and while some do have some good ideas , very few of them would actually help those in the lifestyle or those who are new to the lifestyle.

Those books just like my blog are my opinion and what works for me, those books are their opinion and what works for them.What works for someone else will not work for you because our needs and wants are much different.

As usual I am way off track so let me focus a little bit here.

It is funny my wife and slave wrote a blog while I was trying to finish this one up. Today with work and life if I do a blog it is stretched over 4 or 5 days.

https://vilesarianna.wordpress.com/2015/07/26/observations/

Arianna calls me Master , and Sir was something I earned, as she states in her blog , she did turn down my collar the first time I offered it to her, and I understood why. I knew though as long as I stayed on the same path there would come a time she would kneel and allow me to slip the collar on.

Although she does call me Master I consider myself to be an Owner, and Owner of property, we live a Total Power Exchange, consensual , none consensual.

Arianna speaks about how I support her, how I am there for her not just part time but 24/7 no questions. That is the role I not only signed up for , but that is the role I agreed to.

The love and only love of my life, but before being my wife and slave , Arianna is my property, I own her. As A Daddy Dom, a Dominant , Master or Owner you have to keep that frame of mind. There is no switch that can be turned off and on, the switch is in the open and locked position.

You as the Submissive , the slave when entering a relationship you have to be in the right frame of mind, you have to not only want to submit, you have to have the need to submit. You have to have the need to be trained, to be trained to fit someones needs and wants. You have to put all resistance to the side. You have to be able to communicate openly without fear, you have to be able to communicate your feelings and needs.

Day one until about six months into our relationship , Arianna still questioned me about my choices , she questioned me about the things I did that would effect our lives. Why did she do this ? I had not fully gained Arianna’s trust, she trusted me but not enough to fully give herself. She still feared giving herself fully. She had just been through a couple of bad relationships, and the Break down as well. Arianna had to know without a doubt I had her best interest in mind.

How did I win her over? I was honest, I told the truth, I introduced her to people I knew in the lifestyle dating back to 15 and 20 years. I communicated , but the key that un locked everything is I remained Consistent on a daily basis, on a hour by hour basis.

It was roughly about the first year into our relationship that Arianna received her first punishment. Think about that one year, I cannot just sit around and watch and hope Arianna breaks a rule, I am not going to waste my time with such little boy thoughts.

If you the Dominant or Master are spending more time punishing than communicating , then you need to sit down and think about your relationship and what is going wrong.

Either your training is or was not effective or your submissive does not take the lifestyle serious. Maybe it is you the Dominant who does not take your relationship serious. Maybe she is not submissive but just more into the kink, Maybe your not Dominant?

If you are one to lose your temper, if your one to scream and yell, if your one to get physical, you will never be respected and respect is not something you can demand.

A submissive emailed me about a new Dom she had met. One of his first rules was for her to call him sir, I simply asked if he had earned her respect and she never emailed me back….

So what do I get out of all of this you may ask? The truth is anything I want, when and how and where I want. Bringing back up the consensual , non consensual M’s relationship.

Still to date I can honestly say Arianna and I still have not had one argument, I have never lost my temper with her nor have I had the desire. This is due to our communication.
I am however ashamed to say she has seen me lose my temper in public and she actually thought I was going to jail, the security Guard had his hand on his gun, but in the end it was settled when I spoke with a different rep.

Being a Dominant is not an easy task , and that would be someone new as well as someone who is experienced. We are now looking out for two, so what ever decision we make now effects two not just one.

Your property should come first without question , I have stated this many many times. When you agreed to enter a relationship that is what you the Dominant signed up for, the good, the bad and the ugly.

trust

Vile

Sex And Submission

Posted in Acceptance, Adapt, anal sex, anticipation, anxiety, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, Building a BDSM Relationshp, communication, compatibility, Consensual, consequences, Consistency, Dominants, Dominants Protocol, emotional, fetishes, fetlife, fucking and sucking, Humiliation, kinky, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, oral sex, owning a slave, Patience, Protocols, Rules, Sex and Submission, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Total Power Exchange, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, training your slave, Training your submissive on July 4, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

You take someone and mold them into one meeting all of your needs. Changing ones behavior to meet your needs , changing ones way of dressing to fit your needs, changing ones way of their thought process to fit your needs, teaching someone to fit your needs when it comes to service. Teaching someone how to please you sexually.

Teaching protocols which I am huge on , rules that are followed, protocols and rules that want to be followed, is the path you should want to take.

We all have different needs and wants , while the submissive or slave has needs, if the needs are met there are no wants. That should be your goal as a Dominant and a Master.

Every submissive is not a perfect fit, just as every slave is not a perfect fit, nor is every Dominant or Master , but the good news is there is a perfect fit for everyone , it just involves what many do not have and that is patience.

When entering the BDSM lifestyle not only a lot of thought should be giving , but a lot of care as well. In today’s world most relationships are formed via the internet. I do understand but again much more care needs to be giving. Behind a monitor we can be whom ever we want to be, our confidence level is much higher , we feel less vulnerable, almost powerless , we feel more in control of our emotions.. When meeting someone via internet the chances of it actually working is very slim , but it does and I have seen it work but for the most it does not. Meeting via internet everything is not fully disclosed , and it may not even be on purpose, but it is missed.

The downfall of most relationships are a lack of patience, even more so in out lifestyle, but the one key element that is looked over is having a clear definition of who and what you are. Having a clear definition of what your needs are , a clear definition of the type of relationship you need to survive on a daily basis.

You as a submissive may meet a Sadist but you are not a Masochist , he may be the nicest person you have ever met but you are not a fit and if you move forward the relationship is doomed even before you start.
You may be a submissive only in the bedroom , the Dominant you met on line may be looking for a Total power exchange , or TPE, again he is not the perfect fit.

Submissive meets Dominant online , maybe meet once then the submissive up and moves most of the time leaving most everything behind , only to find out she was no longer in Kansas.
The painting is no longer a painting it is a unfinished drawing that has been in the works for years, all of this because of that one word Patience.

When entering a relationship it has to be adventitious for both not just one , it has to benefit both not just one, both have to have their needs met not just one. Again you need to have a clear definition of who and what you are.

Although it is a give and take relationship , and that being true in any relationship , I believe it runs much deeper in a D’s or M’s lifestyle. The care is much different and in most cases the communication is not only much different but much more deep.

Many times a Dominant or Master will say I want to train you , but soon after entering the relationship that one word is forgotten, and no training ever takes place but it slips your mind as well because you do not have that clear definition.

A good friend of mine Lizzy emailed me a couple of weeks ago , because she wanted me to speak with a Dominant who was pursuing her for a relationship. The second email he sent her , which she forwarded to me he was explaining that sex was the most important part of BDSM. He also did not understand why she had someone listed as a sister on her fetlife profile, when in fact they were not sisters. The Dominant contacted me in the beginning but after that statement he was told to contact me again and he did not , mainly because his fake cover had been blown.

The courting process before entering a D’s or M’s should be friendship first, compatibility means everything. You never let someone try and define who and what you are, if you are allowing this again you do not have a clear definition of who and what you are.

The Negotiation Process , this is where you find out if your compatible in the lifestyle. This is where the Dominant lays out his training process, this is where he lays out the expectations of the relationship , this is where he will tell you his protocols, his standards in private and public, his beginning rules for you, this is where he tells you about his needs , his kinks , his fetishes , his sexual preferences. This is where he draws you a clear picture on how he sees himself in a everyday D’s or M’s relationship.

You may have a hard limit when it comes to humiliation. You may have a hard limit when it comes to sharing, you may have a hard limit when it comes to anal sex , or being face fucked. It could be a number of things or maybe somethings are negotiable.
If you say no i will not do those things and the Dominant is firm in his needs then you are not the right one for him and there is no reason to continue the thought of having a relationship.

Anyone who knows Arianna and I know we are a perfect fit, what makes us a perfect fit is I understand her, I understand her thought process, I understand what makes her do the things she does, but most of all I understand communication is needed. I know when to talk , I know when to ask questions , and I also know when she needs to be left alone so she can think and clear her mind. I say yes more than I say no , but when I say no I mean it. When she has one of her manic days at times I let her run, but I know when to reel her back in, so at times saying no is not an option.

I did train Arianna to fit my needs , I did train to fit my wants. I trained her sexually to do the things I like without being told what to do and when to do it. She follows my protocols , my rules to a T. I control everything but at the same time I am fair and I can assure you I give back more than I take. I put a great deal of work into our relationship to insure it runs smoothly.

I give Arianna down time when I think it is needed to visit family and friends , I do not try to isolate her which is a bad habit of some dominants , and that is mainly because they have insecurity problems.

Respecting ones limits , this is something that is looked over way to much and the main culprit is a lack of caring or just simply not giving a fuck. The not respecting ones limits happens mostly when two are not in a relationship. What does someone care after a play session where you get really fucked up either mentally or physically the odds of ever seeing them again are slim to none.

While sex plays a huge role in any relationship , sex is not the foundation when it comes to a D’ or M’s. When I met someone if there was any resistance in the way I saw a relationship the conversation was over because I refused to bend.. If many did the same they would see life in a much better place…
Make no mistakes it is you the submissive or slave who has to adapt

earn

Vile

Our Total Power Exchange

Posted in 24/7, @vile62 on Twitter, adapting, Argue, Arianna, Baby Girl, Bad Reltionships, bdsm, BDSM Communitys, BDSM Munch, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Slave training, BDSM Structure, commitment, communication, compatibility, consequences, control, Daddy Dom, Discipline, Dominant, Dominants Protocol, MAST, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, Masters And Slaves Together, molding your slave, munchs, owned property, Owned Slave, Protocol public, Protocols, slave, Submission, submissive, sucking cock, Thekinkyworldofvile, Total Submission, TPE, training your slave, Training your submissive on June 3, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

I searched for some two years for what I will call the perfect partner. I was extremely tired of settling for less when I knew a relationship was not going to work. Maybe I did it because of the companionship , a steady piece of ass , or maybe because I love a challenge I was hoping to take something impossible and make it work.

Here is where it gets somewhat tricky. As long as I can remember I have viewed women as objects , toys , here for service and pleasure. There is also another side to that statement. If you were not submissive Id id not try to push my beliefs on you nor would I try and change you.
I gave those the up most respect. Today I have females who are friends who are not in the lifestyle and I do not discuss the lifestyle in anyway. There are those who I have bent over backwards to help who are not in the lifestyle. So the above statement does not pertain to everyone.

I may not know everything and I have never claimed to know everything but I do know if you do not have a plan , if you do not have some kind of idea when it comes to the type of relationship you want, or the type of Baby Girl , submissive or slave it will never work. These are the people who settle for less. These are the Dominants who try to change someone into someone they are not and it never works. So he ends up exerting all of this energy and time to only find it has been wasted and the slave takes the blame.

Those who are new to the lifestyle are easy targets , they have this huge target on their shirt that says , Hi I am new and I am Gullible.

Although I have had 3 or 4 long term relationships , it was not until many years down the road that I realized I had not defined who or what I was.
Defining myself was a huge piece of the puzzle and without that piece I could never complete the puzzle.

While standing on the side of a canal one night thinking , Animel and I had just left a Chinese Buffet , where I met a woman who knew me but I did not know her and she was scared to death of me, I blogged about this before.

While thinking it hit me like an asteroid , WOW you stupid mother fucker you have had the last few pieces of the puzzle all along you just were not ready to complete it or maybe I was not ready.

I was more concerned about the next piece of ass , the next blow job , or who I could inflict pain on. I was a sadist for many years but I was not a Dominant. Mainly because I did not want that kind of responsibility , nor did I care , or maybe I did not have a clue.

So lets look at the three Basic types of Dominants , first is the Daddy Dom , I know of one I can say I respect and I believe their relationship is steadily evolving , into something more, John Brownstone. Most Daddy Doms are married and cheating. Most daddy Doms are not active in the local community due to the fact of being married, most do not impose rules or structure again because of the responsibility….

This is from a profile on Fetlife………. FInally I seek discreetion as I am married to a ultra-vanilla wife who has zero interest in the lifestyle and hope to eventually find my sub who knows she will be treasured.

Just how fucked up is this? His wife has no clue and as far as she knows everything is fine, and I am sure if she read his profile she would run. So my question is , why not just leave ? The remark She will be Treasured is a total lie because he will not be able to dedicate this time needed. Because when he is needed he will not be able to be there for her.

The Dominant who is Dominant but he is not in complete charge nor is he in control 100% of the time because his submissive has the right to say no even when it comes to following rules. The Dominant is only in charge when the submissive allows him to be in charge. The submissive will only follow rules when it is convenient or they are feeling submissive.

Those who do not live together do not have a clear understand of how a power exchange relationship works. This is because the Dominant clearly has no control over the relationship nor is the submissive able to submit on a regular basis. Training cannot be done and this is because Training has to be daily and consistent. It is not like a book where you read a few chapters , put it down and pick back up a week later.

Total Power Exchange..

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Total power exchange)

In BDSM, Master/slave or M/s is a relationship in which one individual serves another in an authority-exchange structured relationship. Unlike Dominant/submissive structures found in BDSM in which “love” is often the core value, service and obedience are often the core values in Master/slave structures.[1] The participants may be of any gender or sexual orientation. The relationship uses the term “slave” because of the association of the term with ownership rights of a master to their slave’s body, as property or chattel. While male “masters” will usually be referred to as “Master,” whether or not female Masters are referred to as “Master” or “Mistress” may depend upon whether they identify as following the “Leather” or BDSM path.
The Master/slave (or owner/property) relationship is entered into on a consensual basis, without the legal force of historical or modern non-consensual slavery, that is forbidden by the laws of most countries.

Outside the BDSM community, the relationship of Master/slave is sometimes regarded as a form of consensual sexual slavery. In BDSM, a slave is a specific type of submissive. The Master/slave relationship refers to the relationship between the individuals involved, and does not necessarily require any specific acts, sexual or otherwise, though sexual activity is usually an aspect of the relationship. The sexual aspect could be conventional, and not necessarily BDSM. A slave could also be a masochist or bottom, but this is not always the case.[2]

Some participants regard the relationship as sexual roleplay, while others enter into the relationship on the basis of a highly committed, long-term, submissive lifestyle.

Some practitioners feel the difference between submissive and slave is the degree of submission. However, many who are involved in Master/slave relationships see the difference as being conceptual. For example, some slaves may not have a naturally submissive personality, but choose to surrender their will and volition to another.

Slave Training

Slave training is a BDSM activity usually involving a consensual power exchange between two people taking on the roles of a Master or Mistress and a slave. The objective is to change the slave’s behavior in a manner that is pleasing to the Master or Mistress, for example to train the slave to follow a set of rules or commands that the Master or Mistress has provided.

Slave training can be a learning process both for the slave (or submissive) and for the Master or Mistress (or Dominant). Training is usually defined in clear steps or lesson plans before it begins. The Master or Mistress teaches the slave how to speak, act and think in a way that is pleasing the Master or Mistress. The slave, in return, derives pleasure from being able to please and serve the Master or Mistress. The slave may also be rewarded tangibly, such as with food, a bed, etc

Training is something I have believed in for sometime , and although in previous relationships there was training , it was nothing compared to the training Arianna went through. Maybe one reason is I was not really ready to settle down, or maybe I had never found the one.
To change ones behavior , the way someone talks, dresses , speaks as well as to others. Hair color, nail polish really everything. I mold to fit my needs. I mold to benefit the slave , my slave.
Every rule I have in place is to benefit Arianna not me, after all the relationship is to insure she is taken care of. I however do come first that includes eating.

I would suspect many relationships fail because there is not a clear understanding prior to entering a relationship. This is due to both trying to be politically correct in fear of not being accepted , or rejected. If both are not upfront about their needs in fear of losing a potential will still end in a total disaster.

A Kinkster is just Kinky , A submissive submits because it is a need but submits on their terms. A slave you needs a TPE relationship Total Power Exchange gives herself or himself because it is a need.
The TPE does not make one weak as most think , Arianna has a degree and has had the same employer for almost 16 years.

What people do not understand is everyone is different , everyone has different needs. Every Dominant , Daddy and Master are different but many times people are to quick to judge and tell others how they are doing it wrong.
The people telling others who are wrong are the ones who are fucked up. There is no BDSM bible and while there is a lot of literature on this subject you are reading someones opinion , just like what I write is my opinion.

Our TPE Total Power Exchange was worked out prior to entering a relationship , it was not something I was interested in but I felt we had enough in common to move forward and give it a try.

I control everything in our home , to include what Arianna wears , hair color , bed time and what time to wake, what she eats. Most of the time I leave cooking up to her but at times I tell her what I want to eat. While I am in full control of the finances I do let Arianna take care of that end, but I know where every penny is spent.

The relationship started out as consensual and today it is still consensual , through our communication and being open with each other , I am proud to say it has been almost 3 years and to date we still have not had an argument. I have not raised my voice nor have I called her any names out of anger.

I have a firm rule I follow , I never lose my temper towards the one who gets on their knees or lays on their back and takes what I have to give.

We are going through changes and our relationship is still continuing to grow, now Arianna is always looking for more ways to submit. As we grow and talk she still wants to dig deeper into her submission.
I will admit she does keep me on my toes and keeps me thinking. My question or thoughts are how deep can one go ? Is there an end or does one continue to travel deeper ?
Ia m going to implement more protocols that will be a reminder of who she is. Just as speaking in thirds which she has mastered , that is a reminder and today she does not even think about the way she is talking and is able to change once out in public.

Putting protocols in place provides structure, structure provides a stable relationship , and then comes communication.
I can say without a Doubt and in Honesty I run my house. I am head cheese , Head Honcho , the king and Emperor. That is something i had to earn it was not giving nor was it demanded , it was earned.

respect

Vile

Why I want To Be Your Slave

Posted in 24/7, A slaves passwords, Acceptance, Arianna, bdsm, BDSM Protocols, BDSM Relationships, BDSM Rules, BDSM Structure, BDSM TPE Relationships, communication, Consensual, control, controlling, Depression, Dominant with drinking problems, Dominants, Dominants who suffer from depression, Email, Inservice Slave, Master, Master And Slave, Master and slave relationship, molding your slave, Private Protocol, Protocol public, Protocols, Rules, slave, Structure, Submission, submissive, The slave must adapt, Total Submission, TPE, Training Arianna, Training your submissive with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2015 by thekinkyworldofvile

First off I usually do not share something this personal, but I wanted to give some idea of the steps we took before entering a relationship. This was not a rush to judgement. Our relationship was something that was giving a lot of thought on both parts.

Arianna was going through her email last night and found an email that was in the very early stages of our relationship. A email that was not only deep in nature , but an email that set the pace of our awesome relationship. Many it seems it is much easier to put things on paper because it is much easier to express yourself. Sitting in front of someone when asked a direct question can cause some to mumble away out of nervousness. So if your ever in that situation let it be known your not ready to answer you need time. That statement is fair and needed sometime , unlike the TV shark tank where a decision has to be made right there and then.

Moving onto a D’s or M’s relationship is a huge step , you have to know exactly what your getting yourself into and you need to make sure your both on the same page. Being open and honest about your needs is very important.
If your a submissive and one of your hard limits is golden showers , but the Dominant you are talking to has a fetish with Showers , then you have a lot of thinking to do.

Warning signs you should look out for. A Dominant with anger issues, a dominant with anger issues is not a dominant , he is a predator. A Dominant with anger issues will abuse you and you can get hurt. A controlling Dominant , a controlling Dominant demanding all of your passwords to your different accounts, your social media accounts. This is not a Dominant this is an insecure male trying to bully his way into a relationship. If the Dominant your talking to is into pain and you are not , then he is the wrong Dominant for you.. That would be the same if you were thinking about seeing a Dominant who suffers from depression, although there are some who would disagree…. If a Dominant cannot control his own life in all matters, then how can he control you ?

It is like buying a pair of gloves , you want a nice tight fit, if it is to big it just will not fit right. Having the perfect it is very important…

Back to the email , I had a question that had seven words in it, once I asked Arianna the question , I told her she could have sometime to think about it. I asked the question because I wanted to know where she was coming from. I wanted to know her feelings and what she was thinking.

She did answer me in an email and this was her answer.

Why I want To Be Your Slave

Date:01/03/2013 8:55 AM (GMT-05:00)

These are Arianna’s words

Of all the titles that one can have, the title of Slave is rare. Only a true slave can fulfill their Masters needs.
I want to become a true slave.

In my mind, a true slave:

Can foresee their Masters needs.

Is available for service at any time

Has no safe words but relies on their Masters care and attention that He may take me a little further than I would normally go on my own.

Is an extension of their Masters hand.

Is open to new experiences.

Has a continually thirst to serve and be of service in any aspect the Master desires.

Trusts Master more than oneself.

Why I choose you?
You are strong and attentive. Caring and consistent.

Why do I want the title of Viles’s slave?
I believe that there is a lot to learn. That my mind has just barely touched the surface of M/s.
I have a longing for my body, mind and soul to be owned. I have a desire to be a captive to the imagination of You. I am clay ready to be molded. I am a virgin slave per se and I need to be controlled. I need to be bound. I need to be gagged. I need to be restricted. I need to be used. I need to feel like my body belongs to You. I long for the mind fuck. I want to lose control and let go. I want You to get in my head and make me Into Your pet. I want to lay at Your feet. I want You to become my sole thought. My sole need and desire. I wish I could flip a switch and give You all. Maybe after we have the house to ourselves I can take a week and just be there for you in an intense training. Naked, chained, fed by you. I can become anything you want. I want to go deep. If I could I would be with you 24/7. Ideally, I would love to be chained and work from home on the computer running your business.

Those are really deep words , and even today Arianna is finding and thinking of more ways to give more of her submission.
Second Arianna did go through a very extensive training plan for a period of 90 days. Those 90 days were the make or break it time. I would also like to add Training is continuous on going daily.

Once you have everything in place, rules , public and private, protocols both public and private the relationship really moves very smoothly…

universe

Vile