The first ninety days is the most important when it comes to training. I myself thing that once you put a plan together it is very important to stick to it.
The fear comes from the submissive, the not knowing what is going to happen, more so not knowing what to expect. There may be a little fear within the submissive not knowing if they will please or be able to meet your standards.
Training day begins I do not share anything, I do not give any ideas about what I am going to do. Just like I explained to Arianna watch and listen. That is all you really have to do.
Remember the Submissive will adapt to their new surroundings, and most will without question as long as you the Dominant keeps your word.
If you are new to the lifestyle the first ninety days will tell you if you really want to be part of a D’s relationship, in some cases it may take less than a week.
The first ninety days I gave no punishment, we were actually almost six months into our relationship before I had to punish Arianna. As a punishment I do not believe in spanking, because most who are submissive enjoy being spanked, so what is the point in doing something they enjoy when you punish. Arianna on the other hand is not into pain at all, so I decided that my best approach was to spank and I set that ass on fire. .
During the first ninety days a lot of positive reinforcement is needed, the idea is not to break down, but to build up. We want to point out the good, but we also need to correct when something is not done correctly. A firm voice without yelling or humiliating . The fear factor comes into play.
Your plan you must stick to exactly what you have planned, if you try to change things up you as the Dominant can get distracted, and may cause a little confusion.
The truth and always the truth, the first thing we tell a submissive is to always be truthful, never lie and always be upfront. If we cannot abide by the truth we cannot expect the submissive to. If we lie how can we expect the submissive to always be truthful. Once you gain their trust, that is the easy part, the hard part is keeping it. Once you break that trust you can almost never get it back.
I only started out with 4 rules as we progressed I added a few more. Handing someone a page full of rules, can really cause confusion, and again fear, the fear of forgetting. Some Dominants will hand out 25 maybe 50 rules and say you have to memorize each and everyone. Ask him if he knows them word for word, if not why or how could he expect you to. Rules are meant to give structure, and guidance. Rules are meant to be a reference for daily life.. If you give out to many at one time, the submissive will become overwhelmed , and feel like they are being set up for failure. Also rules we take bad habits and turn them into good ones. If you do this in a short time the Dominant will see a great improvement in any areas that needed work.
I was talking to a Submissive on the phone a couple of weeks ago, her and her Daddy Dom had split. When she broke a rule he would not punish, so there were no consequences for her actions, he was more worried what was for dinner.
I have found from past experiences if you do not stand by what you say and do what you mean you can lose control, again once you start to lose that control it is impossible to regain again. You cannot sit there and say I will change because it is to late. I changed because I let my feelings get in the way when it came to punishing or enforcing rules. I had a huge guilty feeling come over me and I no longer wanted to punish. In the end I lost control. Keeping our word is very important.
Arianna has daily task that has to be completed just like this am a list was completed and I will go through it and either keep it the way it is or I will veto if I feel she has put to much on herself. She has had a rough couple of days emotionally so I stepped in and helped out a little, yea I did dishes, cooked breakfast. Eggs bacon and sausage. I made her watch as I put three eggs into the frying pan and I flipped her without breaking a yoke. I broke one of mine so one out of six is not bad. Dinner I made a taco salad. We should step in at times and take some of the weight off of their shoulders. I like to show my appreciation.
From time to time I believe a little fear is needed, just like a little humiliation is needed. Sometimes the submissive starts to lose that feeling of submission, so we want to put them back in that mode..
Not long ago we were in our Den watching TV , Arianna was nude, I was on the couch she was on the floor, just looking at her drove me crazy. So I told her to spread, and she has these huge lips that look like butterfly lips that just makes me go bonkers. I stood up undressed crawled on top and just started fucking her as hard as I could. I wrapped my hand around her throat, and told her she was my whore, she was my cunt, but I had changed my voice up a little deeper , slower and I could see this look in her eyes. I told her to fuck me back and push, when she pushes I can feel her pussy grip my cock, and then her rocking her hips just WOW.
So I got up pulled her up by her hair and shoved my cock in her mouth and started face fucking her, one hand one her chin and the other on the top of her head, pushing my cock in as as far as it would go.. Calling her my bitch, my whore, telling her that I owned her. After a few minutes I grabbed her by her hair again and pulled her into the kitchen bending her over the trash can and back in her pussy, I fucked her for a few minutes then I slipped it out and right into her ass. One hand around her throat the other with a handful of hair I banged her as hard as I could until I dumped my load. I then grabbed her hair taking her to the bathroom put her on her knees and I pissed all over her Tits, then came the cold shower. To me golden showers shows that I own, ownership.
She was scared, she did not know how to take my actions. After it was all said and done came the aftercare which was truly needed. I believe aftercare is needed but at times I am not at my best. So I am trying tp improve in that area.
The change in my voice, the way I was fucking, really confused her, not knowing how to act or respond but she went along with what I wanted to do and how I used her. It is good to have sex, sex makes life good. On the other hand it is okay to just use your submissive. Sometimes I will tell Arianna to go to the bedroom and strip putting her on the bed pulling her to the edge, fuck her and tell her to get dressed. Using puts them in that submissive state of mind.
The mind fuck, last week we went out for Mexican we were both stuffed Arianna was in the bathroom washing up and I told her to hurry, I said I have the brown bath towel on the bed I was ready. Her first thoughts were oh god he is going to face fuck me and I am going to puke. She procrastinated for a good ten minutes once she walked in the bedroom and she saw no towel the look in her eyes were priceless. The mind fuck can be a very powerful, you can mind fuck even when joking, keeps them thinking.
You can tell when your cared for as well, the hug the kiss the way someone listens when your talking, you can just tell. I was getting head and Arianna asked if I wanted to finish in her ass, I love those words Fuck my ass. I had other plans though, I told her to lay on her side her mouth on my cock and I started fucking just like I was pounding her pussy, her arms were moving in the air her legs were kicking, I stopped from time to time to allow her to breath then right back at it, until I blew my load. It is okay to use your property. There is a very pleasing feeling that comes across your submissive when they know they have pleased.
Never share what your training plan is about. slowly implement things on a daily basis, give small hands on test. Such as Once I thought Arianna was ready I invited a Dom and Slave to our home and she was in full service, I am not talking sexually. When they both set down she was standing legs shoulder width apart arms behind back waiting for instructions for drinks and dinner. When training you train to fit your needs and wants. The submissive you train to fit their needs, their wants come later. If you say no then mean no, if you say yes then mean yes.
A little fear can be good with the proper aftercare the same with a little humiliation.